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Lorelai cannot decide if her feelings for Luke are new or merely residue from her old feelings. The whole town is wondering what will happen after the "love serenade," though both Luke and Lorelai deny it was love-based. But as a matter of fact, when Luke overhears Lorelai saying to Miss Patty and Babette that it didn't mean anything, Luke gets pissy. She's afraid that his behavior means that she embarrassed him with the singing. She's also afraid, every time she answers the phone, that it's Rory calling to tell her that Logan has proposed. Paris and Doyle are preparing to travel on vacation to India, where they are almost certain to cause an international incident. Rory, meanwhile, is getting sentimental about wrapping up her time at Yale. She is feted by her grandparents at a reception where they sing an awesome rendition of "You're The Top." As if that weren't enough, she is blown away when Logan proposes to her in front of the whole party. Unable to answer, she must lead him outside, where she says that while she is moved and happy, she's overwhelmed. Lorelai refrains from giving her opinion, insisting instead that Rory make her own decision. Finally, after thinking about it for a few days, Rory says no. Logan, rejected, tells her it's all or nothing, and they break up on the day she graduates from Yale. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Lorelai and Sookie are walking through Stars Hollow on the way to Westin's. Apparently, Lorelai made the mistake of telling Emily how much Rory enjoyed the raspberry chocolate cake from Westin's, and Emily tasked her with bringing one to the reception the Grandparents are holding for Rory. Are you bored yet? Me, too. You know, as much as they talk about Westin's on this show, you'd think something interesting would happen there sometime. The only thing interesting that happens in this scene, though, is that Lorelai talks about how they're going in there to pick up the cake...and then they don't pick it up. She's distracted, I guess, trying to remember all the other stuff she needs to pick up for the big event and, of course, by the whole weirdness of Logan asking for her permission to propose to Rory. "He can ask her anything he wants," she says, wondering if, in history, any parent had ever not given permission. "I mean," she adds, "I think she's too young to get married." She says she knows Logan asked her out of respect, but that what's not respectful is that he subsequently has not done it and, now, every time the phone rings, she expects it to be Rory, calling with the big news.
On top of everything, she adds, much to Sookie's delight, there's the whole "Luke thing." Sookie flips, so happy to hear her say that a "Luke thing" does indeed exist. "I don't know, Sookie," Lorelai says. "I can't figure out what happened. Clearly, something came up when I sang that song." Sookie: "Clearly." Lorelai says that she's not sure, however, if this is a new Luke thing, or a residual Luke thing from the old days, and that maybe these feelings she had were a result of the drinks and the song and the hat. "Well," Sookie agrees, "it was a deadly cocktail." For what it's worth, Sookie says, she thinks Lorelai's feelings are brand-new feelings for Luke. "I mean, the way you were singing to him..." she says, romance in her voice. Lorelai points out that Sookie was not even there to hear the singing. "I know," Sookie says. "But I had enough people describe it to me." Lorelai groans at the thought of the town gossiping about her. "We're just all excited," Sookie says, "about the possibility of you and Luke!" Yes, yes. We ARE all excited. And make it good, Rosenthal, or may ten thousand squeeing TWoP forum posters eternally haunt your dreams like banshees.
Lorelai says she knows all this rooting for her and Luke is coming from a good place, but she needs to make sure she knows what she wants, for real, and she needs Sookie to help keep everyone off her back. Sookie promises, with one caveat: "But, for the future," she says, "the time you want other people to stay out of your relationship..." Lorelai: "Don't serenade your ex in front of the whole town?" Sookie's eyes light up. "You called it a serenade!" Hee. I am really going to miss Melissa McCarthy. I think she's brilliantly cute. This damn show! I can't believe there's only one more.
Luke arrives at Liz's place for a visit and is amazed by how great her garage/workshop looks. "What's gonna go here?" he asks, looking at some freshly constructed but empty shelves. "Ah, nothing," Liz says, "T.J. put those up." Ha! Mark this down as the first time Liz has made a smart choice...possibly ever. They admire T.J.'s other creations, including a "coat-rack lamp." Luke says he's come by to pick up a graduation gift for Rory -- he thinks she would like some earrings. So sweet. While he looks through the merchandise, Liz quizzes him about Lorelai's serenade. She heard all about it from the crowd at Westin's. "It wasn't a serenade," Luke says, not wanting to talk about it. "She drank a truckload of tequila and sang a sappy song." Liz calls for a time-out. "'I Will Always Love You' is not a sappy song," she says. "It's classic Cyndi Lauper." Huh? "Whitney Houston," Luke corrects. Wha...look, I don't want to get into it. Dolly. The end.
Liz insists that after the karaoke, it's Luke's moment to make a move on Lorelai. "Look," he says, "if it had meant something, she would have come in." He indicates that he's done talking about it, going back to choosing earrings for Rory. "All I'm saying," Liz says, "is that from everything I've heard, and know, Lorelai would like you to respond." She says Crazy Carrie saw the whole thing at Kacey's and reported that Lorelai really gave him "the love look." He tries to blow her off again, commenting on a pretty necklace she has for sale, but the conversation turns back to Lorelai. "That would really match Lorelai's eyes," Liz needles him. He sighs. Maybe, he says, he'll get the necklace as a backup for Rory. "I mean," he shrugs, "she has blue eyes, right?" Liz laughs at him, along with the rest of us.
Paris and Doyle are packing their apartment. Doyle patches holes in the plaster while Paris shouts down potential buyers who are calling to buy the stuff they don't want to move. "If you want to haggle," she says to one unfortunate soul, "go to a flea market, because my other line is ringing." SOLD. She's getting fifteen more dollars for her kitchen table than she paid for it two years ago. She sings a celebratory tune as she tells Doyle the key to haggling: "You put your hands around their throat, and just keep on squeezing." Doyle doesn't even blink. "You've got skills, baby," he says. Just think, Paris says, how handy she will be while they travel through India. Oh my God, the thought of Paris in India, a country with whom relations are often tenuous, makes me frightened for the fictional U.S. "Remind me -- we have to pack Advil," she says. "If I get a headache, I'm not about to get some Ayurvedic massage. Doyle needs to clarify. "You are going to tame it down a little in India, right?" he asks. "We are tourists." No way, Paris says. Her travel philosophy is to travel aggressively, lest you get taken advantage of. Beautiful. year on The CW: Gupta Girl, set in a New Dehli jail, staring Liza Weil as "Persia Gellar." Oh, y'all. The geographical lengths I went to to make that joke... I'd like to say I'm embarrassed, but I'm too busy laughing at myself.
Doyle says he doesn't understand why she's going to be hauling all these textbooks around India anyway -- it should be a vacation. But no, Paris insists, since she's gotten into Harvard Medical School, there will be no down time. She promises she'll rest in four years, after she's landed a top-tier residency. Doyle smiles the knowing smile of all grad-school widows. He sweetly tells her how much he loves her, but I know from experience that in his brain, he is seeing the gaping maw of his stressball future spread out before him like an endless flaming river of pain. Hmm? What's that? Why, yes, my husband is working through his PhD comps right now. Why do you ask?
They are interrupted by Rory, who arrives home after spending the night over at Lucy and Olivia's. "Can you believe we graduate tomorrow?" Rory asks, all smiles. "I can't wrap my head around it." Paris rolls her eyes, asking if Rory's going to get all sentimental. "That wasn't sentimental," Rory insists. "That was incredulous. I'm allowed to be incredulous, I mean, can you believe it?" Paris says that, yeah, she can believe it. "I checked out of this place the minute I got into Harvard," she says, smug. "God, I never get tired of saying that." Rory reiterates that she really can't believe it, and that she plans to savor every moment of her last day. "Well, savor while you spackle," Paris says, "because I will take you to small claims court if I don't get back my full deposit."
Lorelai arrives at the diner looking supercute and resolute. Sitting at the counter, she says hello to Babette and Miss Patty. "He's upstairs," Babette says with no preamble. "I'm sure you can go right on up." Lorelai says no, no, she's just there for coffee. "Suuuure you are," Miss Patty says. Lorelai insists that really, it's just coffee. "Honey, we were there," Babette says. Miss Patty says yeah, they heard the song. "The way you locked eyes with him," she adds, all romantical. Lorelai is flustered. "No, no, no," she says. "It was just karaoke. You know, I got all swept up in the moment! It didn't mean anything!" Oops, whether she means it or not, she doesn't realize that Luke is walking up behind her, smiling. When he hears what she says, however, the smile instantly dies. Sort of like my will to live when I am confronted with the returning--season visage of Chad Michael Murray. While Lorelai tries to salvage the moment by flirting, in her way, with Luke and receiving the ultra-cold shoulder in return, Babette and Patty keep a running banter about how they can't wait to see Rory graduate from Yale. "I didn't know you wanted to come," Lorelai says, cringing. Oh, but of course they do. Lorelai says she'll call to check to see if there are enough tickets. Babette lists off everyone who wants to come -- including "Gypsy, plus one...she says" -- a list that numbers in the dozens. Lorelai is relieved when her phone rings and she sees it's Rory and steps outside to take the call. "You're not going to believe it!" Rory cries when Lorelai answers, and Lorelai, thinking this is the big proposal-reveal moment, steels herself to receive the news. But that ain't it. "Milan Kundera is speaking at our graduation!" Rory says, excited. Lorelai breathes a sigh of relief, which Rory takes for nonchalance. "Oh," she asks, "you're not a Kundera fan?" Lorelai plays it off: "Oh, no," she says, "I'm unbearably light on him." Good one, good one.
Lorelai asks about the tickets, and Rory says it's a no-go. Each student only gets four seats. "Well," she says, "you do know the house is going to get egged." Something occurs to Lorelai -- if there are only four tickets, how will Logan attend? Rory says he'll be there, with another ticket, sitting with his friends. Rory asks if Lorelai's nervous. "About Logan seeing his friends?" Lorelai jokes. "Not really." Rory says no, she means is Lorelai nervous about seeing Christopher. "Oh, that," Lorelai pshaws. She says they talked last night, mostly about how proud they were of their beautiful daughter, and that they'll be okay. "What about Luke?" Rory asks. Now this, Lorelai says, is another story. She tells Rory how she was just in the diner, trying to gauge her emotions about Luke. "The point is totally moot," she says, "because he barely even looked at me!" She figures, she says, that she must have totally embarrassed him with her drunken serenade. "I've given you the don't-drink-to-excess speech, right?" she asks. Rory: "Well, if you haven't, you've certainly taught me by example." Lorelai says that she guesses the whole thing with Luke is done. She shrugs, sighing that she didn't know what she wanted, anyway, giving the impression that it's no big deal. Her sad face tells another story. Rory says she has to hang up. "Logan and I have this romantic afternoon planned," she says. Lorelai's eyebrows shoot up, and she holds her breath until Rory reveals that yeah, they're spackling. Lorelai and Rory exchange many Gilmorian witticisms about spackling, all very cute, and I get sad again, thinking of the bleak, non-spackle-joke future of television without this brilliant show.
Just when I paste on the brilliant label, we must suffer a town meeting. I don't know why these bug me so much... okay, it's Taylor. Rather than standing at his usual podium post, this week he's sitting in a wheelchair, leg in a brace, after falling in his bathtub. Okay fine, he admits, he fell while giving himself a pedicure. (While that is very hilarious, here is where, if I were at my day job, I would give you my PSA on the dangers and consequences of older adult falls. Since I'm not, I can only encourage you to educate your foolish behind and...put up handrails in your mom's bathroom.) Two hundred million years later, we get to the point of this scene. The first order of business? Kirk wants to suspend himself in a Lucite box above the town square. As you do. "Oh," Lorelai says, "like David Blaine." No, Kirk insists, this is nothing at all like David Blaine's stunt. "Kirk In A Box" will be a feat of endurance, an attempt to stretch the bounds of human possibility. Plus, he says, making me giggle uncontrollably, "my box is smaller." Babette asks the obvious question: "Why?" Kirk: "Because Lucite is very costly." Hee, but no, she means why is he doing the stunt? "To see," Kirk says majestically, "if I can." Taylor tries to argue that the whole thing could cause a traffic jam, but the town gives their vote of approval. As Taylor yammers about parking problems, something occurs to Babette. She "whispers" a question across the aisle to Lorelai, asking if parking will be a problem at Yale. Lorelai breaks it to her that, in fact, there are no extra tickets for any townspeople to use. This sets off Babette and everyone around her -- they're upset they won't get to see Rory graduate. They've known her forever, after all, and feel they should get to see her get the diploma. I'm all about suspending my disbelief for the many silly contrivances of this program, but this is just too much, mostly because the ridiculousness goes on FOREVER. Finally, Lorelai can't escape without promising to stage a full reenactment of the ceremony at a party for Rory in the town square, complete with the Stars Hollow High marching band, and life-size photos of Rory.
At a reception thrown by the elder Gilmores in honor of the graduation, Rory is shanghaied by some of her old DAR cronies only to be saved by Logan, oiling over to remind her how beautiful she is. Meanwhile, Lorelai is ambushed in similar fashion by some nosy women wondering just how it is possible that she has a daughter old enough to attend college. Well, ladies, when a girl becomes a woman...listen, I don't have time, just trust me, it's possible. Also, lock up your daughters. Lorelai is also rescued by a frosted, shiny gentleman -- Christopher calls her cell and asks her to meet him outside before he comes in. Apparently, they haven't seen each other in person since the divorce became final. They do that UBER-annoying thing of saying "hi" to each other -- you know what I mean? I'm not saying it's annoying to greet another person, but why do TV shows and romantic comedies try to make us believe that it is in some way cute to nervously say "hi" back and forth like a couple of seventh graders at a dance? Whatever. I'm having a hard time explaining what I mean, and I see it's making me sound like a grumpy old man at a bus stop. "HI?! In my day, people said hello by punching each other in the nuts!"
Anyway, here they are, saying hi and being cute. Chris asks how Lorelai's feeling about Rory graduating. "I'm excited...sad...nostalgic," she says, looking wistful. "Terrified," she adds, telling Christopher about Logan asking for the proposal permission. Chris is shocked. "He hasn't done it yet," Lorelai tells him, "and maybe he'll back out, but he definitely asked." Chris is amazed. "She's so young," he says. "What did you say?" Lorelai reports, shrugging her shoulders, that she told Logan he could ask her. Christopher says he has to let it sink in. "You hear about people asking the father," he says. "Not that you don't deserve to be asked. It's just more stuff I've missed." Blegh. Yes, it is. Do you think David Sutcliffe is tired of saying that line over and over? How many times has he had to say it? Also, this: when he mopes a little, Lorelai cringes, saying they'll "figure out this divorced parenting thing eventually." WHAT? Huh? They were married for like, six minutes! They've had this mutual kid, however, for more than twenty years! So, wow, that is a weird line. Maybe it was supposed to be like: "we'll figure out this divorced, parenting thing eventually"? Divorced/parenting? In no way does it make any sense. They joke that Rory may be sixty by the time they get it together. By that time, though, Chris will have nine more daughters with various women around Connecticut. season on The CW: When Chad Michael Murray goes in search of his long-lost father, he finds more than he bargained for! Tune in Friday nights for Number One Son!
Inside the party, Richard clinks a glass to get the attention of all gathered. "Ladies and gentlemen, first let me thank you for coming to celebrate my granddaughter's graduation," he says, immediately receiving a pinch from Emily. "I beg your pardon," he adds, correcting himself. "Thank you for celebrating our granddaughter's graduation." The crowd tee-hees politely, especially when Emily adds: "I can't let him take all the credit, I mean, have you seen her? Can you blame me?" Aw. Rory looks appropriately embarrassed. But the sweet humiliation does not end there! No. Richard says that as they sat down to prepare a speech, no words seemed appropriate enough so, naturally, they decided instead to, you know, rewrite "You're the Top" and perform it in front of all their high-falutin' friends. It's basically the cutest thing ever, even when they both pretend they can't sing, which both actors can do quite well. The song (in which we learn that Rory is Phi Beta Kappa) could not be more awesome, and Rory is amused and delighted. When they finish, Rory thanks them profusely, and says to everyone that there's no way she could have made it through Yale without her grandparents. While everyone applauds at the sweetness, Christopher gets a message on his Blackberry from Gigi's babysitter. He's about to go out to answer it when Logan stops him. "Would you mind waiting?" he asks, nervously. "Trust me, you'll want to stick around for this." Christopher and Lorelai stare open-mouthed as Logan steps to the front of the room to make a speech. "He's not gonna... " Chris says, in shock. "Not here," Lorelai whispers, "not now..."
But, oh yes, he IS gonna, right here, right now. Logan shakily starts his speech. Rory amazes him every day. He's learned over the past year that he doesn't know much, but he knows he loves Rory and wants to be with her forever. While Emily watches in smug satisfaction, and Lorelai and Chris try to keep it together, Rory catches on. He's proposing. "Rory Gilmore," he says, "will you marry me?" I don't know how they all do it, but every actor in this scene is so amazing -- the blood literally drains from Lorelai's face while Rory blushes all the way to her ears. "Wow," she says. "Wow...I'm just so surprised." Poor Logan, nearly beside himself, asks if there's a yes anywhere in between those wows. Finally, Rory asks if they can step outside to talk. "Play something, now," Emily hisses at the pianist, and the crowd uncomfortably returns to milling around as Lorelai, Richard and Christopher stand in shock.
Outside, Rory is amazed again when she sees a horse-drawn carriage waiting for them. "I'm sorry," Logan says. "I know you said you were over grand gestures, but that's what wedding proposals are!" Rory says no, it's not the size of the gesture that's freaking her out, it's the gesture itself. "Rory," he says, "I got the job out in Silicon Valley." She is very happy for him and wonders why he didn't tell her. He was waiting, he says, to give her the news until after he proposed. "Wow," Rory says, "you've been thinking about this a long time." Yes, he has, he says. He realized, after all this business mess he's been through in the past few years, that all he really needs to be happy is her. "You would love Palo Alto," he says, giving her the hard sell. "We could go hiking in the Dish on weekends; biking at the Baylands." Rory: "Wow. California Me sounds really athletic." Logan: "Or coffee-drinking on University Avenue." She says that sounds more like it. He goes on, telling her he found a house they might be able to rent, one with an avocado tree in the backyard. "Well," she says, warming to it, "I do like guacamole..." He says the place he's found is only about 35 miles from San Francisco, and she could work at either of the big papers there. Rory's overwhelmed. She says that all of it sounds great, and that she's blown away by the research he's done, but... He interrupts her. "Remember when we stood on top of that that tower and held hands and jumped?" he asks. "Let's do that again, Rory. Let's jump." She looks at him with stars in her eyes.
Inside, Emily paces frantically. "Why didn't she just say yes?" she bitches. "He's a Huntzberger. An offer like this doesn't come around every day." Lorelai points out that this was a marriage proposal, not a sale on linens, and Richard tries to inject some rationality into the scene, saying Rory was just caught off guard and needed to get her bearings. Lorelai's cell phone rings. "Is that Rory?" Emily asks, anxious. "Did she say yes?" Lorelai walks toward the door, where she runs into Christopher. "Hey," she says, "it's Rory. Do you want to come?" Christopher says no, Lorelai should go, and she heads out.
In the horse-drawn carriage, mother and daughter ride around campus talking it out. Alexis Bledel is wonderful in this scene, talking about how she couldn't answer Logan, and how sad she was to disappoint him. "I just had to explain to him how out of the blue this is," she says. "I mean, this is seriously out of the blue. Out of the deepest, darkest, naviest blue! And...why are you so calm?" Lorelai comes clean -- she tells Rory about Logan asking permission. "Wow," Rory says, amazed. "You are really a good secret-keeper." Lorelai: "Not really. I told Sookie; I told your dad; Paul Anka and I discussed it at length." Y'all know Paul Anka was against it. He would never want to travel for visits to California. All that sand in his silken locks? Nightmare.
Rory wants to know what Lorelai thinks she should do. "Oh, honey," Lorelai says. "I think it's your decision." Rory: "You're really not going to give me your opinion?" Lorelai says no, she thinks this is something Rory has to decide. "I love him, I do," Rory sighs. "But on the other hand, we're so young. I'm only twenty-two. But on the other hand, what does age matter when you're in love? But on the other hand, what is the rush?" Lorelai: "Well, you're like a circus freak with all the hands." Rory is flabbergasted. "Won't you just tell me what to do?" she begs. "This is like the bird versus turtle Halloween costume all over again." Lorelai says well, she didn't crack then, and she's not going to crack now. "I just think you need to figure it out," she says. "And remember, that flying turtle bird was the most original costume in the third grade." Rory sighs. "Yeah," she says. "But this time I have to choose. Turtle or bird." Lorelai: "Well, you're not in third grade anymore." Am I having some kind of hormonal imbalance or something? Because this shit is making me tear up. This wasn't the best episode, as a whole, but everything between Lorelai and Rory was great and made me all nostalgic and emotional, just in time for Mother's Day. Damn you, Graham and Bledel and your shiny hair and beautiful...ness.
Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai takes a walk through town to clear her head and, you know, see if Kirk is still in the box. She runs into Luke, who is still around the diner, waiting on the softball team to finish celebrating their big win. She tells him about Logan proposing to Rory. "So," he says, trying to gauge her opinion, "you're leaning toward no?" Ah. They proceed to have a very thinly veiled argument about commitment and marriage, using Logan and Rory as stand-ins for their own messed-up relationship. Luke says he could understand why Lorelai would be reluctant to support a marriage between Rory and Logan, seeing as how Rory's so young. "It is the most important decision of your life," he says, "I mean, you know, her life." Lorelai shrugs, saying well, they love each other. Logan's been great. "Maybe they got it together young," she says. "Some people do." Luke: "Right, and others need time." The veil of passive-aggression is getting a bit thinner, here. "Sure," Lorelai half-snarks, "or they're never ready." Luke protests, faux-casually, that he wouldn't say never, just that some people need to take a little more time to make sure things are right. "Well," Lorelai says, "sometimes you have to take a leap of faith." He looks right in her eyes. "Well," he says, "you gotta know what you're leaping into." Lorelai stares back. "After all this time," she says, "how could you not know?" The "you chickenshit" is implied heavily. "How could who not know?" he asks, semi-bravely, but Lorelai refuses to be the one to say it. "Rory," she says. "Right," Luke concludes. "Rory." She sighs, saying she's going to go home, but he stops her. Inside the diner, he grabs the earring box for Rory, pausing to stare at the necklace he bought for Lorelai. He doesn't give it to her. Instead, back outside, he presents the smaller box to Lorelai, who is taken aback. "I got this for Rory," he says, bringing her back to reality. She thanks him, saying it was nice of him to be so thoughtful, and they say a terse goodnight as, above the street, Kirk curls up to sleep for the night.
Back at her apartment, Rory spackles alone. She stares at the ring Logan gave her, tries it on, and smiles. I smile, too, remembering the night my husband proposed to me, and how he busted me at 3:00 AM when he woke up and found me holding my hand in front of my face, trying to look at my ring in my sleep.
The day, Richard and Lorelai trail behind Emily through Yale's campus as she bitches about Milan Kundera's speech. Lorelai says maybe it's a cultural thing -- maybe Milan Kundera is like the Robin Williams of the Czech Republic. "With that voice?" Emily snarks. "It was so soporific it was like he was trying to perform a mass hypnosis." It's too bad that didn't happen, actually, because anything to calm Emily down at this point would be good. She is still flipping out about the proposal and is incredulous that Lorelai doesn't have more information about what Rory's thinking. Lorelai stops for a moment, worrying that she hasn't picked up enough programs for the Stars Hollow reenactment. Emily hands over the wrinkled one she has been using as a fan, much to Lorelai's disappointment. "Sweetheart," Richard says, "I am sure I could use some of my many contacts to procure as many programs as you need." In that case, Emily says, she'll take her program back. "As my friend Sylvia Rosenblatt says, 'I'm sha-vit-zing.'" Hee! "Shvitzing, Mom," Lorelai corrects. "Shvitzing." Oy. I'm shvitzing from this all this shmuesn, right here.
Speaking of yadda yadda, Paris, Rory, Lucy, and Olivia are hanging out, waiting to go to their ceremonies, acting like fools, drinking champagne straight from the bottle. Never, ever do this, young people -- it will go straight up your nose and you will spend the thirty minutes coughing and sneezing your way through the speeches at your friend's wedding reception. Hypothetically, I'm saying. Anyway, they all tease Rory for not coming out to party down with them after the Grandparents' reception. She says she would have come out, had Paris not threatened her with pain of death to complete the spackling. "Hey," Paris says, "each unspackled hole is deposit money that our hygienically challenged sleazebag of a landlord will use to fund his freakin' porn habit." Awesome. I hope Paris is back week, just for a final farewell. Sniff. Rory tells no one about the proposal from Logan, blithely describing the reception as no big deal. They go off to their ceremonies, toasting themselves. "I wonder if I'll actually get my diploma in my envelope," Lucy worries. "Why?" Rory jokes. "Do you have some overdue library books?" Y'all, don't laugh -- my late father almost did not graduate for this very reason. I attended his alma mater and, I swear, I could feel the librarians looking at me when they saw my name.
Emily is still bitching about Lorelai's lack of information about Rory's feelings. "I mean, aren't you two bosom buddies?" she digs. "Isn't the sharing of intimate information your thing?" Oh, beautiful. BEAUTIFUL! I love them for including that line, and for letting Emily say it. Lorelai says their "thing" right now is that she's letting Rory make her own decisions. Emily, however, won't let it go, and finally, Richard must step in. She is in such Emily Mode -- complaining about Rory, complaining about the seats, complaining about the late start to the ceremony -- that honestly, it's time to put a bag on her head.
As they line up, Paris panics about whether or not she should say "thank you" or "thank you very much" when she receives her diploma. "If I just say plain 'thank you,' it sounds kind of casual, like he's handing me a slice of pizza," she says. "But 'thank you so much' sounds weird, like I'm acknowledging applause after singing a love ballad." Rory says she thinks she'll just go with a polite smile and a "thank you." They prepare to walk out. "This is it!" Rory says. "We've been drafting off each other since high school," Paris says, "and now it's each woman for herself. Who knows when we'll see each other again, right?" Rory shakes her head. "Paris," she says. "I haven't been able to shake you off all these years. I'm sure we'll be friends for a very long time." Paris gets emotional. "You're gonna do such great things with your life, Rory," she says and, tears in her voice, she throws her arms around Rory's neck. Rory is so surprised that she doesn't return the sentiment, which is a shame, I think. I know this show is short on I-love-yous, but something here would have been sweet.
Outside, as the "G" names begin to be called, Lorelai turns to Chris. "You ready to be parents of a Yale graduate?" she asks. He says he's got the bumper sticker all picked out. Emily is still being ridiculous, leaning over to tell Lorelai about a story in the New York Times recently that reported that people are getting married younger and younger these days. She goes on to irritate everyone, complaining about her chair being wobbly, complaining about the woman in front of her rocking back and forth ("it's like sitting behind Ray Charles!"), complaining about Lorelai not using her influence to make Rory marry Logan. Meanwhile, Paris Eustace (ha!) Gellar graduates. Finally, Richard can take no more of the constant bitching of Emily or of Lorelai's eternal fretting over remembering every detail about the reenactment. "Lorelai," he says. "I will note the time, I will take the photo. You just sit there and enjoy your daughter's graduation from Yale. This is as much your moment as it is hers. Enjoy it." Lorelai takes a deep breath, and as tears come to her eyes, Rory's name is called: "Lorelai Leigh Gilmore." Lorelai can not hold in her joy and stands, cheering for her daughter, tears streaming down her face. Rory, on the dais, pauses, looking proud and grateful. It's really very beautiful, and maybe I'm crying again, shut up.
Taking pictures after the ceremony, Rory sees Logan waiting for her beneath a tree. They make small talk, but there's only one thing he really wants to know. "Logan," she says. "I'm sorry. I can't. I love you. I love the idea of being married to you." She says that it used to scare her to have her life so wide open in front of her, but now she finds it exciting, and marrying him would not be right. "We can try long-distance," she says, "we've done it before." He says that's not what he wants: "I don't want to go backwards." Rory, sad-faced, asks if it has to be all or nothing. "We could at least try," she says. But, no. He won't go for it. She pulls out the ring, and after a very painful moment, he takes it and says goodbye. Yeah, that was assy, but you have to kind of hand it to both of them -- those were a bunch of grown-up decisions they just both made right in a row. And maybe I was sort of sad to see Logan go. A little. Just a little.
As she and Lorelai carry out the last boxes from her apartment, Rory is very sad. She misses Logan and feels like she can't be happy about her graduation because of the horrible moment with him. "I'm sorry," Lorelai says, full of sympathy. "But I think you made the right decision." She says she knows that Rory will meet someone someday, and she'll just know it's right, and she won't want to hesitate. "So, I guess," Rory says, "no avocado tree." Nope, Lorelai says, but she can get her own tree, whichever kind she wants. "You can get your own peanut tree!" Lorelai says. "And have peanut butter any time you want!" Rory uses her college knowledge to point out that peanuts do not actually grow on trees. "The point is," Lorelai says, "you can have anything you want." Picking up the last box and turning wistfully back to say goodbye to her old life, Rory sighs. "Oh, yes," she says. "It's wide open."