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Stars Hollow is in an uproar over Taylor's typically-Taylor Spring Fling celebration, while Rory flips out over her first newspaper interview. Also flipping: Paris, due to Logan's presence in her apartment. He has moved there, rather than stay in the fancy, dad-funded place. April, looking very pretty, is visiting Luke on vacation, chatting 900 wpm. She gives him a bracelet and talks about it with such speed that I actually move forward in time. I know we've been on hiatus for a while, but there's no need to cram all the sentences from those missing episodes into this one. While she nervously waits to hear the results of her interview, Rory brings Logan home for the festival, and they all act like he's never been to Stars Hollow or met her mom or anything; she shows him around like they've just met. He's been on this show for what? Three seasons? Come ON. She takes him into Luke's Diner, where they run into Zach, who mentions the babies -- Kwan and Steve. Awesome. Not quite as awesome: Lorelai is worried that Rory and Logan are back together after his descent from success. She is extra-worried when she hears his goofball ideas about the future. When Rory is offered the job for which she interviewed and immediately goes into a Gilmorian tizzy worrying about whether to accept it or wait for her dream fellowship, Logan suggests that she go for the dream, upsetting Lorelai, who wants more stability for her kid. Logan assures her that he's not a gambler, that he is aware of the mistakes he's made, and that he wants to work hard. In any case, Rory decides on her own that she really wants to go for the fellowship. Speaking of (in)stability: At a town meeting to discuss the Spring Fling, Lorelai runs into Luke. They have a...friendly, polite, succinct, bland chat. Not bland: Taylor, as he tries to conceal the disaster of his Fling. He's put the entire Fling budget into the hay bale maze that has taken over the entire town. Look, it's stupid and it involves Kirk in a Minotaur suit. Just go with it. Within the maze, Lorelai runs into Luke. They joke about the bracelet he's wearing. Suddenly, Lorelai feels like she needs to apologize to him for everything that has happened. He graciously accepts, and he apologizes to her as well and tells her that he's learned a lot and that she was right to want to help April. They smile at each other. Hey, are y'all getting Mark McGrath during your commercials, like I am? Dudes. His teeth. What is happening there? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Lorelai arrives at the Inn to find Sookie and Michel engaged in one of their little tiffs. Michel has apparently created a desktop publishing masterpiece of a printed schedule and is offended that Sookie would place it in the backs of the guest baskets she's assembling. "I am a man of refined and renowned aesthetics," he bitches. "Fabien Baron once publicly admired the way I decorated my locker at Crunch." My God, it took me 65 rewinds to figure out what he was saying. Fabien BARON. Not Fabian Barnes. CRUNCH. Not Crotch. Though, truth be known, I can imagine Fabian Barnes complimenting Michel on the decoration of his crotch. What? Oh, come on.
The exchange degenerates into a slapfight soon after Michel tries to inappropriately call touché -- you'd think a speaker of the French language would know the definition of the word -- and when Lorelai arrives, just before real violence breaks out, she notes that "Mr. Crankypants is in his usual Spring Fling funk." Michel immediately denies any funkiness. "Oh, I wasn't talking about you," Lorelai jokes. "I was talking about Mr. Crankypants." She compliments him on his beautiful schedule, reading off the usual Fling events. She's alarmed, however, when she sees that bird-watching has been added to the list. "There was a void," Michel insists. "There was nothing scheduled on Saturday evening; it looked ridiculous; I wrote in bird-watching." Lorelai says that's great and all, but that since they didn't schedule any bird-watching, it might create a problem if someone, say, wants to go bird-watching. "Oh, please," Michel snarks. "Who wants to watch birds? Why on Earth would you want to watch a bird?" Touché, for real. ["My father challenges you to a duel." -- Miss Alli] Lorelai says that what they should have put on the schedule was the stupid hay-bale maze that Taylor hoodwinked all of them into approving at the town meeting. "What is wrong with people? Walking in hay?" Michel drones. "Don't people have lives? Don't they have televisions and elliptical machines? And what kind of weirdo wants to walk around in a maze of hay?" Lorelai: "Taylor Doose, and no one else."
Lorelai and Sookie describe how, at the meeting, Taylor gave an impassioned speech, while clutching hay, weeping. "It was very disconcerting, and yet oddly moving," Lorelai says, but she adds that this support was short-lived when after the vote people saw that he wasn't actually crying -- he just had hay fever. In any case, Michel has become bored by this charming tale and rolls his eyes again, sighing out a queenly "whatever." Sookie breaks it to him that people stopped saying "whatever" like two years ago. (Everybody except me.) "Whatever," Michel says again and then, nearly killing me with pure brilliance, adds that he's "Audi 5000." That single Michel moment was enough to make up for the fact that the entire 466 words I just wrote above? Described 90 seconds of television. Damn this show and all its words.
Okay, I normally don't do this, but I have to mention the unbelievably ludicrous CW breaks they're giving us tonight between scenes. This stuff with Mark McGrath is worse than all the aerie girls and Chad Michael Murray combined. The first segment is about celebrities "giving back," and it features various famous people doing good works, including a clip of Angelina Jolie talking about refugees and human rights. Straight from a shot of a tiny baby in some godforsaken hellhole, complete with flies on his face, we cut back to Chompers McGrath, who quips "ah, yes, talk about the sweet side of celebrity!" Huh? I... guess he's talking about celebrities being sweet? Or something? But...right after the baby with flies? With the poppy background track and star graphics? For shame, CW.
Logan is in trouble at Rory's apartment. Apparently, he has done the unthinkable and consumed the last of Paris's 2% milk. "It's cool," Paris says sarcastically. "I'll skip breakfast and suffer the afternoon mood swings." Oh, Paris, we'll all suffer. Logan's apologetic but confused -- he saw at least four cartons of milk in the fridge, but Paris explains that each carton is there for a reason: "I need the 2% for my cereal; whole milk for my tea; half-and-half for my coffee; skim milk for cooking or baking; plus, I like to keep Lactaid on hand for Doyle." Having remained silent to this point, Doyle is forced to speak out. He is not, he insists, lactose-intolerant. "You're lactose-resistant," Paris says. "You have a bias against lactose!" There's nothing wrong with being sensitive, she says to his protests. "Jake Gyllenhaal is sensitive! Orlando Bloom is sensitive." While Logan promises to replace the 2% and keep his hands off the Lactaid, Rory emerges from her bedroom in her suit. "Me and lactose are bros!" Doyle says in greeting, and Paris follows up by assuring everyone that she would not kick Jake Gyllenhaal out of bed. Rory takes this all in stride, of course, especially when Logan compliments her on her suit. Had enough with the suit, people! I mean, yes, she looks quite good in it -- but Alexis Bledel would look smart in a suit made of towels, so let's calm down about her damn suit, especially considering that the wardrobe budget spent on her and Lauren Graham every week is off the charts of ridiculous.
She hopes, she says, that her suit is smart enough to do all the talking in her interview today, because she's so nervous that she keeps thinking of questions they might ask, and her mind continually goes blank. "It's like 'Rory, what journalists do you admire?' Ah, hmm, what journalists do I admire? And...nothing. It's a blank. It's like a snowstorm in here! It's all white and empty." Logan and Doyle assure her she's going to do great. "Or," Paris adds, "you'll choke." They all look at Paris in horror, but she "explains" that she was just saying, you know, that Rory might panic and freak out and choke. It could happen. "Just don't panic," Paris says, "if you panic." Rory: "Ah. That's so sweet, Paris."
Doyle asks Rory which paper she's interviewing with. "The Providence Journal-Bulletin," she says with a nervous smile. "Ah, the ProJo!" Doyle says encouragingly. He tells her it's a great paper with a top staff, but that they work their cub reporters very hard. "And," he adds with mild contempt, "they do have a comics section." Logan asks what's wrong with that -- though you'd think he'd know, considering his alleged family knowledge of the newspaper industry. "Let's just say," Doyle answers, "The New York Times does not have a comics section." Yeah, but they did have Jayson Blair, and he was fairly comical, right?
While Doyle collects his attaché case (hee!) and Rory picks out the right coat for her interview, trying to strike the right balance between All the President's Men and His Girl Friday (my God, why would she ever shy away from the latter?), Paris goes in for the kill with Logan. "I'm just going to cut to the chase," she asks him. "Why are you here?" Logan: "You're not talking metaphysically, are you?" Paris says that he's used to living in places with doormen and Danish furniture and "refrigerators so fancy that magnets won't stick to them," and thus, she wonders why he's now living in their off-campus crap hole. Logan says that when he quit his job with his dad's company, the company was no longer too keen on paying his fancy-place rent. "Plus," Paris adds, "you're broke." He tries to insist that he isn't, but he's interrupted by Doyle headed for the door, complaining about his Corn Flakes really doing a number on him. Heeeee! Rory rushes out in her best That Girl coat, followed by Paris and Doyle, who are off to start their days. "Logan," Paris says, sticking her head back in for one final command, "after you finish with all your 'work,' it'd be great if you could..." Logan: "Pick up some 2%, I'm on it." Paris: "'Do the dishes,' I was going to say." HA!
April is at Luke's apartment unpacking her suitcase along with what looks like twenty books. I can't even tell you what goes on in this scene, because (1) the child, who is quite lovely, just blabs from wall to wall as Scott Patterson holds on for dear life trying not to go deaf; and (2) she gives Luke a BRACELET. I mean, she's talking about Native American short narratives and comparing New Mexican pueblos to New England's alleged historic buildings (my favorite part is when she refers to the reservation her friend lives on as "fabulous"), and it's cute, but it's also Rory 2.0 and I have complained about that numerous times, so why bother repeating it? Oh, well, fine. I'll bother: I don't understand why April had to be Rehash Rory. Why couldn't she have been a blonde, kind-hearted, diabetic vegetarian cheerleader? Huh? Why double us up on the bookish word nerds? And I ask that as a bookish word nerd my own self, I do, and again I say this actress is way cute, but I was seriously excited to have her living in New Mexico, and to have respite from the 2.5-second joke delay with which she seems to struggle weekly. But back to the bracelet. What does every studly, flannelicious, backwards-cap-wearing, self-styled Neanderthal Man need in his wardrobe? A huge silver and turquoise wrist cuff. Oh, yes. And, natch, Proud Dad has to put it on, because he does not want to appear Baldwin-like in his parenting choices. Honestly, he's glad she is enjoying New Mexico.
"Ees that a rhetorical ques-ti-on?" Michel snidely asks some guests checking into the Dragonfly. The dad begs his pardon, and Michel clarifies: "You said 'who doesn't love the Spring Fling Festival?' and I'm askeeeng..." Lorelai swiftly interrupts: "Because we just can't imagine anyone who doesn't love it!" She tells the guests, the Sinclairs, that she's so happy to have them back in town for the festival. In fact, the Sinclairs tell her, they've been dreaming of the Fling all winter -- especially when little Timmy (or whatever his name is) got his tongue stuck to the swing set during a freeze. "He did," the mom confides. "I had to get out my hair dryer and extension cord and melt the poor thing free."
They are blessedly interrupted by Rory, calling from the train on her return from Providence. "Ewww," Michel says, turning up his nose. He has, he says, always found trains dirty, and train tracks reminiscent of slug trails. Rory is saved when Lorelai is able to take the phone. "So," Rory says, indicating her chat with Michel, "it's Spring Fling time again, huh?" Lorelai: "Oh, yeah, when a young man's fancy turns to being... totally rude." But enough about Michel, she says, she wants to hear everything about the interview. "I want to hear everything. You walked in the door; I want to hear what kind of door. You sat in a chair; I want to hear what kind of chair. Go!" Very excitedly, Rory describes her experience -- the interview went exceptionally well, and she is proud and excited that she was able to just be herself and forget about impressing the editor. "But there you were," Lorelai says, "impressing her!" It's so sweet -- Rory's so happy and excited and feeling like a grownup. I remember that. And then I remember, about two hours into my first day on my first job, thinking: "aw, damn." Lorelai is thrilled to hear that Rory wants to come home for the Spring Fling, but the thrill is tempered when Rory says she wants to bring Logan. She quickly covers, though, and they joke about Rory bringing a guy home -- which is weird, right? I mean, surely we're not to believe Logan has never been to Stars Hollow in all this time? They live together for goodness' sake. Over the phone, Lorelai hears the conductor announce the stop. "Listen to you, on the train," she says, all wistful. "I know," Rory trills. "I'm in my suit; I'm reading the paper." Lorelai: "Coming back from your job interview...Wow, I am impressed. Seriously, I'm impressed." Aw. Moms rule. They hang up, and Rory goes back to her paper, barely containing a smile.
The day, she and Logan arrive at the CrapShack...where there's this weird nervous vibe as if Logan has never been there before. And maybe he hasn't -- although I call that strange -- but the two of them have now been living together for two years. And he's met her entire family and even had Lorelai and Luke stay at his vacation home. So what I'm asking is: what gives? In any case, here he is, orchids in hand, acting overly impressed with the CS foyer. "What do you mean 'wow'?" Rory laughs. "When you walk into your parents' foyer, there is a genuine-article Magritte sitting right there, and a chandelier the size of a Volkswagen." Yeah, he says, but this house is where Rory Gilmore grew up: "The Rory Gilmore." Lorelai comes running down to greet them, and Logan nervously presents her with the fancy, fancy orchids. He compliments her on the house, calling it "charming." "Thank you," she says. "I never know what to say when somebody says that. You don't want to agree, but on the other hand, it seems weird to disagree with your guests and say 'no, it's a dump,' but thank you." Aw, the CS gets a bad rap. I would love to live there. Rory checks her cell phone for the first of many times in this episode, hoping to hear from the ProJo editor about the job. "I'm sure she's just busy at work," Lorelai says, adding that she herself needs to hurry to the Inn, "because Michel's mental state is very precarious today."
Still acting kind of antsy that Logan is in her house, Lorelai goes into a spiel about stuff to do around Stars Hollow. "Mom," Rory finally interrupts her. Lorelai: "What? You've lived here before?" Rory says that yeah, she thinks she remembers enough to show Logan around. "This is the town with the Sistine Chapel, right?" Lorelai says yes, that's right, and to be sure not to forget to show him the pyramids, which are kitty-cornered to the Wailing Wall. They all laugh nervously, and Lorelai shows them how she's made up the trundle bed in Rory's room and put out some guest towels (code, she admits, for "towels that are clean"). My mother occasionally watches this show, and I am sure that when this scene came on, she had to stand up, walk slowly to the kitchen, and decide whether she would put her head in the freezer or the oven -- because woe unto us all when society starts accepting that unmarried people of any age can start sharing a bed in the parental home, even if they live together and would rather die the death of a thousand cuts than have relations under that roof.
Lorelai, for her part, is at least a little cringey about it. "I made up the bed for you and the trundle bed," she grimaces, "so you can do whatever you want, I mean, bed-wise..." She says she will see them for dinner -- unless they want to have dinner alone, which they loudly deny -- after the town meeting. "I will wow you with my take-out skills," Lorelai says. Rory says these skills are quite impressive. "There's talk," Lorelai confirms, "of a show on the Food Network." God, I wish there were. Anything to replace one of Rachel Ray's eleventy shows about how her grampa taught her to only spend forty dollars a day on tomato sauce, or whatever. Actually, I'm fine with Rachel Ray -- if only we could have a little less of her. My husband watches countless hours of the Food Network, hoping for any glimpse of his beloved Alton Brown, and he gets very grouchy about Grampa Ray.
Lorelai heads off to work, leaving the lovebirds to share a moment of smoochiness. "Come here," Logan says, leading Rory to the bed. "What?" she asks. "Why don't you come over here and find out?" he says. "What?" Rory says. "Here? Where the Rory Gilmore used to sleep?" Yes, exactly! Get off the bed! Both feet on the floor! My mother probably just fainted!
Later, on their tour of Stars Hollow, Rory shows him the various curbs from which she crashed her bike. "I scraped up my whole face," she says. "There was a big scab on my nose. Oh, they called me Bozo. And Rudolph! And Scab-Nose!" Aw, Logan says with sympathy, "poor little Scab-Nose!" Cute. Speaking of cute, they pass Miss Patty's as she runs her dance class through the famous bulb dance for the festival. "Any injuries incurred here?" Logan asks. Rory: "Only psychological ones." Logan sees the hay bales all over the place and asks about Taylor. "He's basically the mayor of Stars Hollow," Rory says, "and the Don Corleone, all wrapped up into one." Logan is fascinated. "This is like Colonial Williamsburg," he says, "with fewer knickers and tricorn hats." Funny, but they are flying through these lines, barely getting them out. It makes me wonder if there is someone on the GG set holding up like, a huge stopwatch for every scene that ticks off the seconds, and they have to squeeze in all these words or an alarm goes off. Sometimes they get so intent on fitting everything in that it takes the joke right out -- if I can't hear what you're saying because you've run out of breath in desperation to finish your line, then...you know, cut OUT a few words, Rosenthal. But only a few.
Rory and Logan arrive at Luke's and run into Zach. "Hey," Rory says, "we just saw Kwan and Steve!" Hahaha! Kwan and Steve?! Awesome. I wish so badly that we could see them. Poor Todd Lowe must fumble through a weird bit of dialogue about how Kwan is growing in the torso, and Steve has long arms and legs. I swear he says "torso" about twelve times. They sit, and Rory immediately checks her phone again for signs of a call from the paper. She and Logan are enthusiastically greeted by Luke, who shakes Logan's hand while subtly trying to cover his huge bracelet. As Luke leaves to let them peruse the menus, Rory makes another quick check of her phone. "She'll call, you know," Logan teases. "Put it away." Rory tries to shrug off her news, saying that it doesn't even matter, because if she doesn't get it, it won't be a big deal, because what she really wants is the Reston Fellowship. "All right," Logan says, reserving his opinion. "And Providence," Rory says, bluffing away her nervousness, "it's no Manhattan." Logan: "That's true, because it's Providence."
They are interrupted when Luke, returning with drinks, sees Taylor out the front window, stacking hay bales in front of his diner. Immediately, Luke charges out and starts ripping it all down. "Take it easy, Luke!" Taylor says. "The veins in your neck are starting to pop out at me. Try and control your neck veins." Luke yells that the hay-bale maze is not what the town wants; it's what Taylor wants. Inside, Logan watches in amazement. "Stars Hollow," he says again, "is a lot better than Colonial Williamsburg."
Lorelai and Sookie are walking through the center of town, discussing the coziness and trundliness of Rory and Logan's current relationship. "So, if they're all cozy and trundly," Sookie says, "I guess that means Logan's out of the dog house." Lorelai takes the metaphor and runs with it. "Out of the dog house," she says, "back to roaming the neighborhood." She's not impressed with Logan's genius moves of Vegas and such directly after his huge business loss. Sookie agrees, but is amused by Lorelai's tone, which frankly is decidedly Emily Gilmore-esque. "No, no, no," Lorelai says. "Logan's a lovely young man. He's nice and polite and funny -- he's got that hair, you know, the hair that can sell shampoo to a bald man? Logan...is a very charming young man!" Sookie grins: "I know that tone. The sign of repressed judgment!" She recalls last month at the book shop bake sale where they ran into Winson Brown, who came up to tell them that her daughter had just been signed to the Ford Modeling Agency as a baby model. "And you were like, 'oh, Winson, that's wonderful! What a great way for a nine-month-old to see the world!' That's the exact same tone." Lorelai says she doesn't mean to be judgmental -- it's just that Rory's an adult now, riding trains and wearing suits. "It made sense for me to have an opinion when we were talking about Jess or Dean, but with Logan, I don't know, it's just really not my place anymore." Cue my mother, who takes her head out of the crisper long enough to comment that "IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR PLACE." Lorelai says yeah, she's not thrilled that Logan's "work" right now consists of carrying around a notebook in which he writes ideas. "I mean, I have a dream journal," she says, "but I don't use it as evidence of my responsibility." Sookie snorts, and Lorelai continues: "Look, he's an over-coiffed, over-privileged young man, but it's not my place." They are brought up short when they realize that they've been walking all around town and they haven't seen a single booth for tomorrow's festival. "All I see," Lorelai points out, "is hay."
At the town meeting, there is general rumbling along the same lines. Before Lorelai can sit down, though, she's greeted by April, who rushes up to hug her. Luke and Lorelai share a polite, succinct conversation about how April's growing up fast and blah blah blah general how's-the-Inn/diner lameness and: it's lame. They all take their seats for the Competition Of Histrionics that takes place whenever Taylor, Babette, and Jackson are present, and people immediately begin complaining about the lack of booths and the dominance of hay. "Would everyone please take a handful of chill pills," Taylor requests, but no, that ain't happening. Gypsy asks the where the hell her damn lemonade booth is -- she needs, she says, to start squeezing her lemons. Hee. Taylor says she need not worry about that -- there will be no lemonade booth this year, because the budget for the lemonade booth was reallocated to the hay-bale maze.
The crowd goes mildly wild. "What about Maury's salty nuts!" she screeches. "If people start eatin' salty nuts and don't have easy access to lemonade, their mouths'll fall off!" People become even more unruly when they hear that the salty-nuts budget also was put toward the maze. "I put the entire budget into the hay-bale maze," he announces to the rage of the crowd. "Taylor, you can't do that," Lorelai yells. "I have an entire inn full of guests who have come here, traveled miles, withstood winters! Who have blow-dried their tongues off their swing sets to get to the Spring Fling!" She says they expect the traditional Fling events -- pie eating and pony rides. "They don't want just the hay-bale maze and nothing else!" she says. But Taylor can't be dissuaded. He has charts! He unveils a huge layout of the maze, which covers the entire town. "I don't get it," Babette says. "Is it a race?" Taylor sighs. None of them, he says, understand the long and varied history of mazes. "Ladies and gentlemen of Stars Hollow," he says with theatrics as he unveils another display, "perhaps this will help!" Except it won't help at all, because beneath the cover is Kirk in a Minotaur suit. Everyone leaves in a huff. "People are really gonna miss your salty nuts, baby," Babette says to the morose Maury, and Lorelai and Sookie nod in agreement, even as they watch the gazebo being removed by a crane from the center of town.
Lorelai returns home, Thai menu in hand, where she is shocked and alarmed to find Logan and Rory cooking actual food in her actual kitchen. They're making paella, which Logan learned to make when he spent a semester abroad in Spain during his time at one of his many prep schools. When Rory's phone rings and she rushes to grab it, Lorelai breaks the ice with Logan about his business deal, saying that she was sorry to hear about how it went. He immediately turns into Mr. Cliché, and it kills me. Business-speak is my nemesis. I had a boss one time who continually used the term "crosswalk" when he meant "compare" or, I guess, "cross-check," causing me to have daily seizures. For his part, Logan pretends to be unconcerned about the millions of dollars he blew. "These things happen," he says, flip. "Business is like an ocean; you just gotta surf it." Lorelai has to turn her head to keep from either laughing or stabbing him, I can't quite decide. She tries again to really ask him how things are going, but he says some even worse bullshit about how this is an exciting time, a dot-com renaissance, and how media-sourcing and yada yada eBay, World of Warcraft. I mean, I have no idea what he's saying, at all. It's true bullshit. "Ideas are really my commodity," he says, and he goes on to say that with the experience he's gained, he feels like he can get right back on top with the right idea. To Lorelai's great relief, I am sure, they are interrupted when Rory bursts in, saying she's been offered the job. She is crazy excited -- "it's a real writing job" with a salary and a desk and a 401(k) -- and both Logan and her mom congratulate her profusely. They celebrate with paella. Y'all, where is Paul Anka?
Later, walking to Weston's for pie, Logan and Lorelai listen to Rory blab on and on in circles about the Providence job. She's worried that if she takes the job, she's giving up the chance at the Reston Fellowship, which is not even technically a job, but really just a six-week paid internship. "Yeah," Logan says, "but if the fellowship is your dream, I don't know, I guess people should go for their dreams." Lorelai agrees that she wants all of Rory's dreams to come true. Yeah, Logan says, she should go for it. "Screw the 401(k)." Whoa -- that's not what Lorelai meant. She doesn't want Rory to just follow her whims and neglect financial security. "When you're twenty-two, I don't think a 401(k) needs to be your top priority," Logan says. "That's all I'm saying." Well, Lorelai says that all she's saying is that, you know, food and rent cost money, and a salary gives you money. "I agree," Logan says, getting a bit testy. "I'm aware of the reality of money." Oh, whatever. Rory goes into Weston's for the pies, and Lorelai and Logan continue to politely duke it out. "I just got my first credit card statement," he says. "I'm very much aware of the reality of money." Lorelai: "You just got your first credit card statement?" Yeah, good point. But wouldn't the better point be to ask how he's going to pay off that credit card, cut off from the family cash and with no job? Maybe that's implied. "Earning money is great," he says, "it's just not everything." Lorelai agrees, but when he says this might be the time for Rory to take a gamble on her future, she very much disagrees. "Rory's not a gambler," she says. "She's a thoughtful, deliberate decision-maker. That's not her." They have to stop when Rory comes out with three pies. "I just figured," she says, "if we're gonna do pie, we might as well do pie." Agreed.
Later, no doubt hopped up on sugar, Logan awakens (in Rory's bed while she takes the trundle! WRONG) to find Rory making the classic Rory Gilmore Pro/Con List. "There are so many factors," she says, including all the other papers that have her resume on file, and the issue that print may be a dying medium -- which could be both a pro and a con. Logan takes the list to review. Pro/Con: Air quality in Providence vs. Manhattan. Pro/Con: Chinese food quality in Manhattan vs. Providence. You can see her dilemmas. Logan, however, finds her crazy and insists that she go to sleep. He gets up to get some water, and Rory wonders why he has to get fully dressed to do it. "You need to put a shirt on to get water?" she asks. "Yeah, what if your mom's out there?" he insists. "I don't want her to think I'm David Hasselhoff or something." AWESOME. Of course, The Hoff could and would comfortably stroll anywhere shirtless, and Logan does run into Lorelai in the kitchen, so his fears are perfectly grounded. They share an awkward moment before he breaks down and tells her that he's not a gambler. He says he knows that Rory tells her stuff, so she knows he ran off to Vegas and all that, "but I want you to know that's not who I am -- I don't want you to be worried." Lorelai: "Well, I am worried. I'm a mom, that's what we do." She says she's worried about his whole surfing-the-waves attitude. "I mean, you just lost millions of dollars," she says. He says yeah, he knows, and inside he's not feeling too surfer-y. He knows. "But I don't want to act that way in front of you," he says. "I mean, for one thing, the whole self-flagellation thing is kind of embarrassing, and I want you to think well of me." You know, he has a point -- why should he have to apologize for his business loss to Lorelai? I get where she's coming from, too, though -- okay, JoLowe? I GET IT. MOTHERS WORRY.
Lorelai says that hearing this from him is good for her. It's just that she thinks 401(k)s are important along with being responsible and paying bills and all that. "Yeah, I'm starting to learn a little more about reality," he says. "I grew up with a lot of privilege." Lorelai: "I know. You had the whole 'silver spoon in the mouth' thing, and that's not how I raised Rory. This was not a silver-spoon household. This was spork city, all the way." Logan is humble enough to say that he realizes that. Why have they been making me like and respect Logan? It messes with my whole worldview. He says he totally gets what she's saying, "because [he] just spat out a whole place setting of sterling silver Royal Danish." He says he left his dad's company and that whole world because he has his own values. Lorelai says that she can understand that. "I thought you would," Logan says, "because that's what you did. You left a world of privilege to do things your way. Plus, you did it when you were younger, and you had a baby to take care of. That's impressive." Lorelai says that she never thought of it that way, but that anyway, she doesn't need him to be impressed with her -- she knows she worked hard to get everything she got. With gravity, he says that he wants to work, he's ready to work, and he wants to work hard. Lorelai smiles. "All right then," she says, giving him a break. They seal the deal with pie.
The Fling is ON, and as Lorelai, Rory, Logan and Michel disembark from the shuttle with the Dragonfly guests, the Sinclairs try in vain to make the hay-bale maze sound fun to their weird kid. No, nobody is in the maze chasing you or squirting you with squirt guns, but, um, it IS made of hay! The kid ain't buying it, so Logan chimes in. "Well I can't believe we're finally here at the maze!" he cries in wonder. Rory: "Oh, it's all I've dreamed since I could dream!" Lorelai chuckles as Logan goes on: "There's just something about being in a maze of hay! It's just so much fun!" Lorelai: "Take it down, Olivier." Hee. She tells the Sinclairs that, for after the maze, Sookie has made all the classic Fling foods back at the Inn. They enter the maze just before Babette and Maury stagger up. "Whooaaa," Maury says. "The maze...just high on the maze..." Taylor allows a group of daffodils to enter the maze, telling them if that they get lost, they should just wave their hands and the maze guard (Kirk on stilts) will come find them. Thank God Kirk isn't sleeping in the center of the maze, Minotaur-style.
When Lorelai goes to talk to Sookie and Jackson, who are maze-crazy, Logan has a quiet word with Rory about her Pro/Con list. He couldn't help noticing, he says, that his name was on it followed by three question marks. Rory admits that she wasn't sure where to factor him in. "Well, I want you to know," he says, "I don't want you to factor me in." Rory goes pale. That sounds bad. He rushes to reassure her -- he's not sure what he'll be doing , work-wise, and when she decides what she's going to do, maybe he'll factor her in. "If you're in Providence," he says, "maybe I'll come live in Providence." Rory smiles as he goes on, insisting that she make her decision based on her own desires. She sighs. "I want to go for the Fellowship," she says. "I'm gonna say no to the ProJo." The two of them enter the maze, hand in hand, and when they come to a fork, they go right together. Yeah, yeah, it's a big ol' smack in the head with a frying pan -- WHANG! -- but I love it. Long live the hay-bale maze!
At the diner, April is helping to wait tables, as Luke takes to-go orders over the phone. Zach rushes in to announce that he's mastered the maze -- it's easier to go through the maze than around it. WHANG! Later, when Luke must put this to the test, he runs into Lorelai, who has been wandering lost through the maze for a while. WHANG! She teases him about the bracelet, and he starts laughing about it and about parenting a teenager, but she cuts him off. "Luke," she says. "I'm sorry." It all comes pouring out. She's sorry about going to Christopher the night of their big blow-up. She was wrong, she says: "I don't know why I didn't say this before." Luke looks at her very kindly. "I'm sorry, too," he says. "I was crazy to think that I had to fix everything in my relationship with April before I could really be with you. That's just not how you fix things. I mean, you know, things don't just stand still. They're always changing." Lorelai: "Yeah." Luke goes on: "I guess I was compartmentalizing, if that's what you call it," he says. "I mean, I should have opened my compartment. I should have gotten your help." She says that she wanted to help. He says he knows, and he knows now that he used April to push her away. "I was afraid," he says, "and I'm so sorry." Aw. I mean, it's not appropriately emotional, of course, but for GG, this is practically opera. They both agree that things between them are okay, and that they're really glad. "I gotta find my way out of here," Lorelai says. WHANG! "By the way," Luke points out, "you're really close. Just go left and two rights and you're out." WHA...oh, come on. It's sweet. Two rights! Smiling, she passes our beloved Troubadour and heads out of the maze.