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Logan is still also acting a slack-ass punk since his website sale fell through, so Rory decides to road-trip with Lorelai to Charlotte for the wedding of their beloved Mia, former owner of the Independence Inn (now suddenly played by Kathy Baker). And since Richard is still acting a slack-ass punk since his heart surgery (the latest offense? Velour track suit!), Emily crashes the road trip, intending to spa. But when Mia hears that Emily's joined the younger Gilmore girls, she insists that Emily attend the wedding too. This proves tortuous for Emily, who is intensely jealous of Mia's surrogate motherhood to Lorelai and grandmotherhood to Rory during their estrangement from Lorelai's parents. Emily is too well-bred to refuse the wedding invitation, but ill-bred enough to be rude to Mia's wedding guests, and new husband. However, when Mia catches Emily spying on wedding-crasher Logan (he just showed up to tell Rory she was right about his punkitude -- even that she was right to agree with his father about it!), the ladies share a nice moment of pride over how nicely Rory grew up. Even Lorelai manages to include Emily in typical Gilmore bonding over vending-machine food and terrible Will Smith pay-per-view movies. Back in Stars Hollow, Lane and Zach ask Luke to be godfather to their babies; he very reluctantly agrees, not realizing that Zach intends to adopt Luke as a surrogate father (his own having ditched Zach's family years ago). Zach has questions about circumcision and how to treat accidental head-gashes, but before Luke has had much of a chance to convince Zach that his dad instincts will kick in eventually, he gets a call that Lane's water breaks...and then she delivers, offscreen, apparently in about the time it took the Gilmore girls to get from the wedding to their hotel room. Okay. Perhaps Al Lowe will have an explanation in the recap. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Internet, I've had a weird day. I had to run an errand this morning to the hardware store and generally putz around the neighborhood and, after a few hours, sitting down to lunch with my husband, I noticed that my jogging pants were on inside-out. Usually, he's pretty jovial when things like this happen -- I couldn't officially call it "strange" that I would not notice I was wearing inside-out pants -- but today it was like he couldn't take it anymore. He just looked at me, sighed, and said: "You're a fool." Who am I to argue? My only defense is that my job has been off the rails for weeks, and I am quite tired. In any case, I am so glad to recap this nice, light episode that sees us off into the mini-hiatus.
Lorelai and Rory are in a department-store dressing room which, for whatever reason, features a dining table, while Rory tries on suits and Lorelai lays on a guilt about Rory not going on an upcoming road trip to see their friend Mia get married in North Carolina. Lorelai points out that Rory will miss all the requisite Moon Pies one must have on any road trip. I'll admit, here, that I am a bad Southerner and do not like Moon Pies. However, if you put one down in front of me with an RC, I WILL eat it, because actually I am a good Southerner and have been known to value tradition over good sense. Yee, I say, haw. This separates me from, to pick a for instance, Rory whose values are in direct contrast to mine -- she's "too busy" with "tons of schoolwork" to attend the wedding of the woman who gave her food and shelter as a child. I mean, it's a reasonable excuse, whatever, but this lady is extremely important to you -- you can't read in the car? Or, wait -- they DO have airplane flights to North Carolina. I know it will shock you to learn that we let the big iron birds land down here in the shoeless backwoods, but I was just up in Charlotte the other day and they have a nice airport there. One you can fly into and out of with great ease, especially if you are "busy."
Rory comes out of her dressing room in a very nice suit to add that she doesn't think she should be leaving town right now with Logan acting such a fool. What? Leave BECAUSE of that, girl. "He's treating me like shit, so I need to stick around and see what he does "? Don't they teach you anything at Yale? Lorelai pronounces the suit "very cute," which gives Rory pause: "I don't know if cute's what I'm going for when I'm interviewing for jobs at a newspaper." Lorelai: "Worked for Brenda Starr; worked for Lois Lane." Rory: "So, if I get a job as a journalist in a comic strip, this is the one." Lorelai says that, actually, the suit is growing on her. "It screams New York Times," she says, pointedly. Rory says that she needs the suit to say more than that, really, since she hopes to hear from other big papers like the ones in Detroit, Seattle, and San Francisco. Her mother pshsaws: "Well, honey, you can't ask one suit to say so much. Why don't you get the suit that says something local?" Aw. She doesn't want her kid to move away. Rory smirks as she goes back into the dressing room. "Those other cities are so far away, so expensive, so tiring," Lorelai adds. "And plus, you know you can get a good cup of coffee in New York. I don't know about those other cities; they have crappy, crappy coffee." We can hear Rory sigh behind the dressing room door: "You mean like Seattle?" Changing the subject to avoid this universal truth, Lorelai reverts back to the road trip argument: if Rory doesn't go, she'll miss out on going to "Waffle Ranch." Now...why can they name-check everything else but mislabel Waffle House? Or, as I call it, My Beloved Waffle House? It does, as Lorelai points out, kick the ass of IHOP, and I am living proof that it also kicks the asses of hangovers, late-night munchies, and your cardiovascular system and general good health. Anyway, ain't no such thing as Waffle Ranch. Is the word "ranch" just funnier? It kind of is. Rory, in another suit, sighs again and asks why Lorelai is only just now getting all crazy about her going on the trip. Lorelai admits that when they got the wedding invitation, she knew Rory would play the homework card and had originally planned to make the trip with Christopher. "Oh," says Rory. "I'm sorry." Lorelai: "Are you sorry enough to make it up to me by...going with me?" Rory rolls her eyes and turns to check herself out in the current suit. It appears to be the winner, though I liked the last one better. Lorelai says that the newspaper people will probably like it so much, they'll take Rory's picture and put it in the Macy's One-Day Sale flier. Hee. Was Alexis Bledel ever in that flier? Probably.
Some undetermined length of time later, Rory is back in Logan's apartment in New York, preparing to leave to go to the library to do some reading. Logan, meanwhile, is sitting in front of what is, truly, the largest computer monitor I have ever seen, blowing off the day. He's surly and rude to Rory as she tries to ask him what his plans are for the day. Apparently, Colin and Finn are coming over; they're going to "hang." Put off by his old-school Loganisms, Rory says she thinks she's going to head back to Yale after her trip to the library. "Good enough," he mutters, not even paying attention. Rory heads to the door just as we hear a knock from outside. It is none other than Mitchum, full of righteous rage. He walks in and grabs up the phone. "So," he snarks, "it does work." He's pissed that Logan hasn't called him after any of the zillion messages he's left, and furious that Logan ran off to Vegas after the business bust. "After what you pulled," he says, to Logan's indignation, "you can pretty much bet I'm going to be spying on you for the rest of your life." Logan tries to whine that he needs some time to get over the whole thing, but Mitchum isn't having it: "Get dressed, get cleaned up, and get your ass down to the office so you can hear what's been figured out for you." Logan tries to argue that his dad can't boss him around, since Logan's not just another one of Mitchum's employees. Right, Mitchum agrees, because if he were, Logan would have been fired by now. Daddy Warbucks storms out, demanding Logan's presence in an hour, and Logan gets his mope on. But, see, today's just not his day, because for once, Rory agrees with Mitchum's tirade. "Logan, I love you," she says, when he protests, "but I'm not going to support every stupid thing that you do. If you go rob a bank, what do you expect me to do?" Ah. I believe she's learned her lesson from the yacht thing, y'all. I can stop mentioning it now. "For me, it's not that your business deal got messed up," she tries to explain. "It's what you've done since then." Logan asks just what it is that he's done. "Nothing!" Rory replies. She tells him that he's not facing his responsibilities, and that people are counting on him, and frankly, he's being a jerk. "Well, maybe that's who I am," Logan smarts back. "Maybe I'm just a jerk, like my dad. Did you ever think of that?" Grabbing up her stuff, with tears in her voice, Rory walks out, saying, "I'm starting to."
Speaking of jerks, Kirk is at Luke's diner, giving Zach the runaround because his pickles are touching his fries. That...sounded far dirtier than I meant it to. Lane, Kirk says, would have built a protective fry layer to screen his grilled cheese from the offending pickle. "It's all goin' to the same place inside that dark, strange body of yours, Kirk," says Luke, stepping in. "Now, eat it." Zach follows Luke down the counter to declare that Lane was right: Luke rocks as a boss. He says that, in fact, he and Lane would like to have Luke over for dinner. Non-committally, Luke says sure, that would be great sometime. The thing is, Zach says, he needs it to be tomorrow. He was supposed to ask Luke a while back, and now Lane thinks Luke's coming over tomorrow and she's been cooking for two days. Luke is less than thrilled, especially when he hears that they're serving curry, and is generally curmudgeonly about accepting the invitation, but finally does.
Lorelai is at Gilmore HQ giving Emily her weekly Quicken lesson. It's sweet but, you know, since they hate each other, it really isn't. When Emily leans over Lorelai's shoulder to ask a question, Lorelai accuses her of hovering. "I am not hovering," her mother shoots back. "Hovering means you elevate off the ground! Do I look like I'm elevating?!" Lorelai: "Gee, you seem awful tense, Mom." Haa! Emily says that, in fact, she is tense -- she's had enough of Richard being around all the time, in the house, in the middle of everything. He won't answer any questions about the business stuff that needs handling, and won't sign the important stuff for the accountants: "He's getting to be a serious pain the you-know-what." Lorelai looks confused: "The nose? The ear?" Emily rolls her eyes: "Would it give you that much pleasure to hear me say 'ass'?" Lorelai smiles: "I wasn't sure, but yes, it did." They are interrupted by Richard, who breezes in wearing a velour sweatsuit, looking for his putter. "Nice threads," says Lorelai. "You having lunch with Tony Soprano?" He's so involved with trying to find his putter that he won't stop to sign his tax form, but finally Lorelai tricks him into it. Emily gets more and more frustrated -- Richard won't listen to her about how cold it is outside and won't stop to talk about the tax stuff. In frustration, as Richard walks out, Emily finally screams at him to wear a hat. "Yes, Mother!" he calls over his shoulder, and Emily throws up her hands in frustration as Lorelai's cell phone rings. It's Rory, also in a rage -- she's so frustrated with Logan, she's ready to escape from NewYork and go on the Mia road trip. "Sounds like a trip like this is just what you need," says Lorelai. Overhearing, Emily asks what trip they're talking about. A gleam comes into her eye when she hears that they're heading to Charlotte, one of her friends having just returned from there after being rejuvenated in a spa. Lorelai starts to get nervous -- she can tell that Emily is about to invite herself, and Rory, also, seems to want her grandmother to come along. Why Lorelai doesn't fake a fainting spell and fall to the ground to avoid Emily's tagging along, I don't know, but her fears are confirmed when Emily declares that not only is she going on the trip, but that they'll take her car: "I have no intention of riding eight hundred miles in an Army vehicle." Good one, Emily but...I mean, what sense does this make to anyone? A sixteen-hundred mile road trip in three days when this was the woman who almost bought her own plane? Seriously, how hard is it to snap up some Air Tran fares? Ugh. Fine, I am cranky, but I don't get the road trip concept at all, especially since they show us about four minutes of the road trip itself.
For example, the girls do indeed take Emily's car, but are forced to ride along with her at the wheel, driving 40 miles per hour down the interstate. "Mom," says Lorelai, "if you're going to go this slowly, you should really put your hazards on. By the time we get there, North Carolina will be under a sea of floating ice caps." Not only must they endure her slow driving and self-centered demands, but Emily apparently also has no qualms about bashing Mia -- even going so far as to snidely deride Mia's fiancé, Howard, for having what she describes as "not a noble name." Probably contemplating throwing herself onto the highway, Lorelai cracks the window, only to be admonished by Emily. They get into a classic window battle, which Emily ultimately wins by putting on the child locks. Rory simply smirks to herself in the back seat, whereas I would have already killed them both. Emily avoids this fate by asking Rory what she plans to do after graduation. Rory gives her the rundown of the three papers she previously mentioned in the dressing rooms. "Well, I'm not sure about the Seattle paper," Emily says, raising her eyebrows, "and the Chronicle is dreadful, but the Detroit paper is quite reputable." Yes, I'm sure Emily spends a great deal of time reading about the goings-on in Detroit. Whatev. Lorelai has a brainwave: "You know else are reputable papers? The New York Times, The Boston Globe, The Hartford Courant!" Rory smirks further, agreeing that those are all great, PLUS they're just a short drive each from Stars Hollow. "Oh, well," Lorelai laughs, "that never occurred to me, but now that you mention it, yeah..." RUN, RORY. Go all the way to The London Times if you can figure out how to do it -- just get away from these fools for a while. Let Emily and Lorelai have their inevitable Matrix-like showdown and get out of the way. Lorelai, still working on a poem for the toast she's to give at Mia's wedding, suddenly remembers The Skirf! Her first sewing project, a skirt for Rory, was such a disaster that Mia had to make her feel better about it by putting it on Rory's head and calling it a whole new invention -- a skirf. Emily bites her tongue to try and hid her jealousy, failing miserably. She gets her revenge by cranking up some Oklahoma!.
Luke is at Lane and Zach's, where everyone is so chipper and giggly that I suspect, for a few minutes, that Zach has secretly made them all pot brownies for dessert. Lane has released herself from bedrest, having reached her due date. "Now I want them to come out!" she says, pouring Luke some coffee. "I guess they can come out whenever they want," says Luke, "as long as we're finished with dinner." These are the jokes, people -- and they get worse. Speaking of dinner, Luke thanks Lane for a great meal, and apologizes for bringing over a bottle of wine, which she can't drink. "No, it's okay," Lane assures him. "Besides, they say one of the things you can do to induce labor is have a glass of wine." Well, that's not true at all, but what Zach says -- "[wine], or sex"' -- is more widely touted as true. Poor Todd Lowe-no-relation. His discomfort at having to look Luke in the face as he grips Lane's hand and says he's going to have sex with her is palpable. ["And since when does Lane like sex?" -- Wing Chun] And pity Luke, also, who has to get all eyebrow-raisey and come back with "well, I'm only going to help you with the wine." Ew! Lane giggles, but surely if she were not mentally deranged from being pregnant she would stab them both. Luke says that he's got to get going so he can get up early, but Zach insists that he stay for some homemade peach pie. "You made a peach pie?" he asks Lane, surprised and proud. "Well, actually," Zach explains, "you made it, at the diner, which is technically your home, but I paid for it, I swear." Luke thanks them, again, for having him over for such a nice meal, and Zach goes full-on stalker on him, saying that well Luke means so much to both of them. "We feel really close to you," he says, "and not just, you know, employees." Luke looks uncomfortable, but shrugs, "Yeah, me, too." Lane says it's just that she and Zach don't have much family: "I mean, I've got my mom, but she's not so much a family member as she is a probation officer." Aw. Mean. Zach, also, is dad-free. His father ran off when he was ten: "No note, no nothing, so I got the feeling he didn't want me to follow him." Aw. Sad. Luke is looking even more nervous. "You guys need money or something?" he finally asks. Zach steels himself and drops the question. He and Lane want him to be godfather to their sons. Luke is surprised, and reacts as though they had, in fact, asked him to loan them a few grand. I mean, I know Zach can be annoying, but doesn't Luke love Lane? Well, now that I think about it, maybe he just knows the definition of "godparent," unlike other residents of Stars Hollow. In any case, after several weird moments where it seems like he's really debating it, Luke finally, reluctantly agrees. Nice. Lane and Zach don't seem to notice that he's being sort of a dick about it, and high-five in celebration. I really wanted that to be much sweeter. What is wrong with Luke?
Gloriously, Emily strides into a roadside diner, talking on her cell phone, admonishing the staff of the spa she's scheduled to visit in Charlotte as she tries to arrange for a treatment to follow her Swedish massage. "Good Lord, no! A watsu?!" she shudders, offended by the suggestion. "Why would I want to re-experience my own birth?" The waitress arrives to hand out the multi-paged menus, featuring pictures of the food. Emily snaps her phone shut, finally taking in her surroundings. "Where on Earth are we?" she asks. Lorelai explains that since Emily refused to go through a drive-thru, they have stopped at Winky's: A Fine Eatery on I-85. A small quiz: which of your favorite recappers drives 85 to work every day? That would be my damn self. Emily, naturally, is mortified by the restaurant, and wastes no time in insulting the food, the staff, and the general population. She orders a turkey sandwich on wheat, and a glass of chardonnay. "That's the clear one," she says to the waitress, who I hope goes to the back and pours gasoline in it. Rory points out the case full of huge cakes by the wall, causing Lorelai to reminisce about Mia's famous chocolate cake. Rory shoots a worried glance at her grandmother at the mention of Mia, and is not surprised when Emily immediately changes the subject, trying to entice them into going to the spa with her. When she goes to the restroom, Rory suggests to Lorelai that they dial back all the talk about Mia, since it is probably making Emily uncomfortable. Lorelai rightly says that Emily knows the trip is all about Mia, and that they shouldn't have to avoid talking about her. Rory sighs that her real issue is that she's worried about what will happen between Lorelai and Emily when she graduates and moves away: "I want you guys to remain close." Lorelai assures Rory that they'll be fine, in spite of their complicated past, because Lorelai is a grown-up. As the waitress returns to hand her the accoutrements that come with an order of roadside diner lobster, Lorelai adds, "A grown-up who wears a bib."
Later, while trying to decide whether or not to watch Hitch or The Lake House on their motel television, Rory unpacks her dress for the wedding. It's wrinkled, and Lorelai suggests that she hang it in the shower to smooth it out with the steam (never works) "as soon as Mom gets done shellacking her face." Emily emerges, saying that she needed to freshen up there, since she couldn't very well arrive at a fancy resort smelling like bad shellfish and "covered with the grime of the road." Lorelai pshaws: "'The road.' Who are you, Willie Nelson?" The phone rings -- it's Mia calling to check on them. When she overhears Rory talking to Emily in the background, Mia insists that Emily come to the wedding, too. Lorelai tries to avoid this nightmare, but Rory interferes, and accepts on Emily's behalf. Emily, naturally, pretends to be mortified at the thought of attending. "Of course I didn't bring a thing to wear to a wedding," she says, snitting out to her resort. "Luckily, they're going bohemian, so it won't really matter." When she's gone, Lorelai throws up her hands in frustration, but Rory says that it will be a good thing -- a chance for more bonding. "The only good thing," Lorelai says, "is that Mom's is going to get to the resort still smelling like bad lobster, 'cause I left my doggie bag in her car." Revenge of the shellfish!
It's early morning at Luke's, and Zach has arrived an hour before opening to, he says, help Luke "crank up the place." As he slams chairs around, interrupting Luke's morning routine, it becomes clear that Zach needs someone to talk to. When he tosses something to Luke and sees him ably catch it, he compliments him on his catching skills. "You must have played some ball," he notes. Luke: "A little." Zach says that he didn't really get into sports much, seeing as how his dad split and all. Poor Zach is so hopping crazy to bond with Luke, he's practically on top of him, and Luke can't take it. When Zach freaks out telling him about a band he wants Luke to hear because he's sure Luke would like it, Luke finally has to escape to turn on the stoves.
The Gilmore ladies arrive at Mia's, where Emily barely gets inside before complaining -- there's no one there to take their coats or lead them into the house. "Not everyone can afford a maid, Mom," Lorelai reminds her, but this is nonsense to Emily: "How hard is it to hire a maid for the day?" Lorelai has to point out that they don't sell them at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Mia sees them and rushes to hug Rory and Lorelai. She is gracious enough to cross to the stock-still Emily, who stands where she's rooted like she's the Queen and waits for Mia to come to her. Emily proceeds to back-handedly compliment the house, not missing a chance to refer to it as "small," but Mia brushes aside Rory and Lorelai's attempts to smooth things over and, again, is gracious. When Howard comes over and is introduced to the girls, he declares their banter exactly as Mia had always described them. "Well," Lorelai jokes, "I hope she left out the bad stuff." Mia sweetly says that there is no bad stuff. "Lucky you," Emily snarks, causing all of them to blanch. Howard saves the day, mentioning the wedding cake, and Mia asks if she can just borrow Rory and Lorelai for a moment as she finishes getting ready. "They're all yours," says Emily, and I'm sure -- at this moment, anyway -- they all wish it were true. Emily removes herself from the party, choosing to watch the ceremony from the sofa.
Later, Lorelai reads her wedding toast poem, cringing through the bad rhymes, but getting a lot of happy laughs from the gathered crowd. Emily, naturally, can't abide this, and turns to one of her fellow guests, asking him to bring her some water. He's a good Charlotte boy, clearly, and goes to get it for her instead of snapping his neck and shooting her a perfectly justified "Bitch, I ain't a butler." When he returns, he leans over to tell Rory that someone is there to see her. When she sees it's Logan, standing awkwardly in the foyer, she is irate. A note on Rory's dress: some of forumers don't like it, but I have to say, I love it. Alexis Bledel, you are terminally pretty, and big ups to whomever put you in the pretty peach. I'm all for it. Lauren Graham is wearing something that looks like she pulled it off the side of a Mardi Gras float, and though she is working it, I prefer the prettiness. Anyway, uh, Logan: he's there to apologize, he says, for being such an idiot. "This is so last year's Logan," she says. "I'm just not impressed anymore with your grand gestures. I'm in the middle of a wedding celebration of a close friend; I don't have time to stand here and listen to you explain your stupid, immature behavior." WooHOOOO! Awesome. This whole fluffy episode was worth this scene -- GO, Rory. It only took you four years, or however long you've known this fool. I mean, yes, I have come around on him; sure, sure, I like Logan; but this speech is long overdue. Just when Rory's about to kick him in the nuts, Howard comes over to tell her that the cake cutting is about to happen. He politely asks Logan to join them, but Rory says no, Logan was just leaving. Then, turning on her heel, she walks away without a look back.
Back at the diner, Luke and Zach are overrun by bowling teams chowing down. Zach is flipping out because he stayed up late to make Luke a mix CD, but then forgot to bring it in. Is this supposed to be the day after we last saw them? Because they're wearing the same clothes. Anyway, Zach says he knows Luke would really love Wolf Mother, and before Luke can even get a word in, Zach follows him through the crowd to ask him, "Circumcision: yes or no?" Leaving aside a moment the forced audience contemplation of the state of Scott Patterson's wang, one soon enough realizes that Zach is talking about his soon-to-be-born sons' penises. "Penises"? "Peni"? You know what I mean. "I thought about having Mrs. Kim weigh in," he says, "but her opinion would be kinda hypothetical, since she doesn't have the goods, at least as far as I know." Luke says, you know, this kind of stuff is personal between Zach and Lane, and so Zach should just go with his gut. But, see, Zach's gut is in a seriously bad state. He is melting down. Luke finally takes him aside, saying that he knows he's panicking about all of this father stuff, but that he knows Zach can get through it. "I don't know how to throw a Frisbee!" says Zach. "I could really use your help!" He spirals, wondering what in the hell the boys are supposed to call him, anyway: "'Dad'? 'Daddy'? 'Papa'? 'Papa' is a big cuddly guy from Italy with all this dark hair! That is so not me!" Kudos to Todd Lowe-no-relation in these scenes with Luke; his freakouts actually make him charming. Luke assures him that he will find his "dad mode," just as Luke did with April, and sends Zach off to serve a table. "Guy's a real goofball, isn't he?" Customer Bill asks when Zach leaves. "Watch it, Bill," Luke snaps back, and just to show that he means it, Luke takes away his pie. "Hey," Bill says, "I'm not finished with that!" Luke: "Yeah, y'are!" Aw. Man love.
Back at Mia's wedding reception, Lorelai is cornered by a very tackily-clad guest. When he finds out that she's from Connecticut, he says he loves the foliage, but could never live there because of the cold: "Cathy says it's a circulation thing, but I think it's a matter of not having the fat layer that you women do." Lorelai says he should be glad he missed out on that whole fat layer thing; otherwise he could never have worn such an amazing sweater. Lorela is saved by Rory, who comes over to announce the arrival of cream puffs on the dessert table. When Sweater Man leaves, Rory gives her mom the lowdown on the appearance of Logan. He's outside, Rory says, leaning against the car. "Look at you, all Tough Love," says Lorelai. Rory says that if they're going to settle things between them, it will be on her terms. Lorelai is amazed and impressed, as are we all. Howard arrives, looking for a dance partner, and as she floats away, Rory insists that Lorelai go and talk to Emily, who is sitting alone, looking austere.
Lorelai sucks it up and goes to talk to her mother. It goes about as well as she expected -- Emily is cold, Lorelai is defensive, and when they are interrupted by a hippie chick who used to work as a maid alongside Lorelai at the Independence, Emily is rude. The hippie is not to be set back, however, and drags Emily off to get a cup of coffee while she fulfills her herbal tea jones. Lorelai morosely goes to the bar to medicate herself with wine, where she is met by Mia. "I just always seem to forget that my mother doesn't play well with others," Lorelai says, shrugging. "Oh," Mia says, "I think she's doing all right, considering." Mia says that seeing Lorelai and Rory with Mia must bring back painful memories for Emily: "Imagine how difficult it must have been for your mother to lose you." Lorelai says that Emily didn't lose her: "I embarrassed her, so I had to leave. She was glad to get me out of the house so she wouldn't have to explain why my school uniform didn't fit anymore." Mia cringes, and says that's not the impression she got when Emily came to see her when Mia was back in Stars Hollow. Lorelai is shocked to hear of this, and says that Emily never told her. She looks so wistful as Mia goes off to dance with Howard.
Outside, Rory walks to meet Logan, who is still there, leaning on his car. She is cool to him, but he is sincerely apologetic. He admits that he went into a complete spiral over what happened with his deal. He says that his dad had every right to be mad at him, and he figured the only way he could solve it was to stop being his dad's employee: "He tried to put up a cool, detached front, but...even though he was mad, I swear I saw the slightest glimmer of pride in his eyes, just for a second. I mean, no one walks out on Mitchum Huntzberger." Rory doesn't jump up to hug Logan or anything, but she says she's proud of him, too: "I almost wish I'd saved you a bite of cake," she adds, and promptly eats the last bite on her plate.
Inside, Emily watches Rory and Logan from the window. She is joined by Mia, who is amazed that little Rory is all grown up. "She such a smart, confident young woman," says Emily. "She's really amazing. Rory will be fine." Lorelai overhears this, bringing Emily her coat, and has a proud but sad look. "Well, we should get going," she says, interrupting, "and let Mia and Howard do whatever it is they're going to do for the rest of the night." Emily admonishes her. "What?" Lorelai says. "I could mean anything." Mia says that Lorelai's right, anyway -- the bride and groom have wild plans to go straight to bed and listen to Garrison Keillor. Woo? Lorelai, to Emily: "See? Dirty mind: YOU." Emily ignores her, and takes Mia's hand. "Thank you," she says, full of meaning, "for everything." Mia smiles. "It was my pleasure."
Back at Luke's, Zach thanks Luke for keeping him from flipping out about the babies. Luke assures him that if he can help, he will. Zach gets another piece of pie for Customer Bill, who insists that Luke owes him from earlier, but as he's delivering it, Zach gets the call that Lane's water has broken. He very hilariously flips out, wandering back and forth, not knowing what to do. Luke, very sweetly comes to the rescue. "That's it, folks," he announces to the restaurant, "we're closed." He grabs Zach by the shoulders, saying that he'll drive, and assuring him that his Dad Mode does not have to kick in right at that second. Luke pushes Zach out the door, yelling to the complaining Bill just to eat the whole damn pie.
It's dark at the Best Western when the Gilmore ladies arrive back. Emily walks them to the door, saying that she just wanted to do that since the hotel's in a questionable neighborhood. "Mom," Lorelai protests, "now I feel like I should walk you back to the car, and then you'll feel like you should walk me back, and then we'll be stuck in a terrible loop and neither of us is wearing the shoes for that." Hee. Rory insists that Emily come in and watch bad movies and eat vending-machine food with them; Emily watches as she races down the corridor to buy Dots and Li'l Debbies. "Oh," Lorelai says, breaking the silence between her and her mother, "I bought her a suit." Emily is quiet: "Did you?" Lorelai says she did; it was fun, sort of like a rite of passage. "I'm sure," says Emily, still in that same, sad voice. Lorelai says that it made her imagine what it would be like after Rory leaves. "Well," Emily says, "I'm sure you'll get through it." Lorelai takes a deep breath and says, to Emily's profile, "What I mean to say is, Mom, that I know it was hard for you." Emily answers only with a "hmm," and Lorelai feels the moment pass. She flips on the TV, asking if Emily's seen The Pursuit Of Happyness. Emily immediately comes into the room -- apparently, she has a thing for Will Smith. Ha! Perhaps from their past collaboration? Emily denies it, of course, but her riveted attention to the TV tells all. Rory rushes in: "Lane had her babies!" She excitedly shows them the pictures Zach just sent. "I'm sure that little camera distorts their faces," Emily says, which makes me want to punch her, but no one asks the real question of how Lane bent the space-time continuum to have two babies in, like, five minutes. "Why did they misspell 'happiness'?" Emily asks, as the movie starts. "There's your boyfriend, Mom," Lorelai jokes, and as the credits roll, three generations of Gilmore girls enjoy their fleeting time together.