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Rory is trying to plan the world's greatest baby shower when, surprise, an editor from The New York Times calls to ask her to coffee. Lorelai volunteers to wrap up the party plans, and Rory goes to the city to prepare for her meeting the day. She spends the night at Logan's and is awakened by him at an ungodly hour when he staggers in drunk, in Old Fashioned Logan-style. Everyone in town is excited about the shower, except Mrs. Kim and Luke, truly two curmudgeonly twin-souls. MamaKim and Lane are in a fight about how Lane plans to raise her children, especially as it pertains to fried shrimp and Jesus, and Luke is avoiding the Lorelai-hosted event. Speaking of Luke, he's got to find a new place to store his boat, because Liz and T.J. want it out of their garage. It sparks him to make a decision to get out of the rut he's been in, and buy a new boat. While Lorelai is patching things up between Lane and Mrs. Kim, Lane has a contraction and has to go on bedrest. Finally, Logan breaks it to Rory about his business going bust. He also regresses fully and runs off on a trip to Vegas with the loathsome Colin and Finn. Rory is pissed about it all, but rushes back to Stars Hollow in time for Lane's AWESOME baby shower, complete with Sebastian Bach singing "Hush Little Baby." Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Lorelai and Rory emerge from Stars Hollow's baby store, bags in hand. They are making final preparations for the baby shower they're throwing for Lane, and Rory is concerned that they have not bought enough onesies for their onesie painting station. May I say how awesome an idea that is? Painting onesies? I have only ever hosted one baby shower, but if I ever have another one, I'm stealing that. It had never occurred to me. I'm turning in my Martha badge, in shame, right now. Anyway, forty people have RSVPed to the party, and Lorelai says that they've bought sixty onesies, so they should be set. Leaving aside for a moment that purchasing sixty onesies from a small-town boutique baby store would have broken a fairly large budget, Rory says she's worried about "the first pancake phenomenon." When Lorelai looks confused, Rory explains:one always throws out their first pancake, she says, because it is used to test the heat of the griddle and usually gets burned. What if, following this logic, someone has a onesie disaster and wants to start over, but is not able to because of the lack of extra onesies? "Oh, my God," Lorelai says, blown away by the pancake talk. "No excuses: year, we are making you that audition tape for Top Chef." Rory assures Lorelai that this is pretty basic knowledge, but Lorelai wonders if it also applies to, say, hamburgers and waffles. "No," Rory explains, "it's pancake-specific!" Lorelai says that's good news, then, because you can slap anything on a onesie, and it looks cute. They can't be messed up! "Alligator, fried egg, tools," Lorelai lists. "These are not generally considered cute items..." Rory agrees -- painted on a onesie, even a Phillips-head screwdriver is cute. And, frankly you can't argue with that, can you? Think of a household item, when placed on a onesie, that would not improve on the cuteness scale by at least 50%. Go ahead. Teapot? Block of cheese? Coat hanger? (Well, maybe not coat hangers, Joan. God.) Rory's mostly worried about all this because she wants to make sure Lane's party is a big success, especially after the bachelorette party she hosted for Lane that ended up in Brian's aunt's basement. "Well..." Lorelai points out, "it was your first pancake."
Rory and Lorelai are interrupted by Rory's ringing phone. They must both use all their self-control not to flip out when Rory mouths to her mother that it is The New York Times calling. "If I was The New York Times," Lorelai says, when Rory hangs up, "I would be like, 'Get me Rory Gilmore on the phone, STAT!'" In fact, the guy who called Rory is a friend of the snobby dude she met at Logan's work party, and he has agreed to get together with her to counsel her on smart moves to make after graduation. Rory is flipping out that the guy called her and relays the entire conversation, word for word, to Lorelai. "Oh my gosh," Lorelai jokes, "if this is any indication of the crackling, spitfire dialogue to come at your coffee tomorrow...!" Rory worries that this is the worst possible time for her to be going to the city for such a meeting, but adds that she knows she can get back for Lane's party and feels like she has to take this meeting. She has to go, Lorelai agrees: "I mean, let's face it, the Top Chef thing was a long shot; this is The New York Times!" Lorelai says she'll handle the last-minute things for the baby shower. Rory wigs further, spreadsheeting the whole thing out loud -- she'll spend the night in the city at Logan's, she says, so that she can prepare and be ready to ask some intelligent questions. "Honey," Lorelai assures her, "you've been asking intelligent questions since you were three." Rory says that the Times guy is probably expecting something a little more sophisticated. More sophisticated, Lorelai asks, "than 'What is a color?' Because that one blew my mind." So cute -- my very good friend has a three-year-old who is sort of an insane, mad scientist mega-genius, and he recently caused a teacher breakdown at his preschool by furiously demanding that all posters of the solar system be removed, being no longer accurate based on the recent Pluto decision. He went on to pronounce that the astronomical community would one day regret their ruling on Pluto, but that there was nothing he could do about it yet. We are all a tad frightened of this child, especially when he lectures us on the correct "pwonunciations" of the phases of the moon. One day he will rule us all. And before that day comes, you need to learn what a Gibbous moon is and how to say it, or he will sigh loudly and verbally dismiss you as he did the poor volunteer at the children's museum.
At the CrapShack, it looks like a baby blue bomb has gone off. Lorelai finishes up the necessary decorating while Sookie loafs in a chair, reading an old issue of In Touch. "Oh, Brad and Angelina had their babeeeee," she says, before flipping to the front to see that this happened months ago. She's also alarmed to see pictures of Britney driving with her son on her lap, and wonders, "What is she doing with that guy?" Lorelai points out that, in fact, Britney and her man recently broke up. "Though it turns out," Lorelai adds, "he was kind of a stabilizing influence in her life. Who knew?" Siiiigh. Seriously. Britney, please call me. I have got your real comeback totally planned out. Sookie totally has Pregnant Lady Brain and can't pay attention to anything Lorelai's saying, though she does admit that the party banner, which originally said "It's a BOY!" is now even cuter after its editing to "It's a BOYS!" Lorelai gives her the easy job of going through a box of pictures to try to find one of Lane that Rory can blow up for the party. Sookie says comes across a photo of Rory: "I just can't believe this widdle girl might be working for The New York Times!" Lorelai says she's not widdle anymore. She decides to call Mrs. Kim for the good Lane pics, and has to coerce Sookie to hand over the phone, which she is using as a bolster to press on a knot in her back: "Did I mention I was pregnant?"
Later that night, Rory is awakened by a crashing sound in the dark: it's Logan, coming home drunk in the middle of the night. "Go back to bed," he slurs, apologizing for waking Rory, and struggling to figure out how to make a sandwich. He says he's been at work, after which he and Philip got bombed. Matt Czkrskzr, or however you spell it, is awesome at playing drunk, I must say. He wrecks the sandwich-making process, is sort of hilarious complaining about the bread in the refrigerator, pisses Rory off even more when she says she tried to call him four times before she went to sleep, and then refuses the offered sandwich before finally flopping on the bed, leaving Rory to fume. I hate to go on another tangent so early in the recap, but this reminds me painfully of this guy I dated when I was a freshman in college who once wiped out an entire wall of family portraits drunkenly "sneaking" into his mother's house three seconds AFTER he said to me on the front porch: "SHH. WE HAVE TO BE QUIET OR SHE'LL WAKE UP." I slowly backed out of the foyer and stood behind a tree in the yard where I would have gladly dug my own grave and interred myself in it before meeting someone's mother under those conditions.
Speaking of fuming, a very fey little customer at Luke's is explaining to Zach that he will not eat the oatmeal Zach has just served, because he will only accept steel-cut oats. Michel's heretofore unknown soulmate? Maybe. "Okay, okay, I think I got it," Zach says jovially. "You're like an analog guy with a CD. You miss vinyl's cool scratches and pops. I think I can work with that." At the counter, Kirk is annoying Luke with his delusions of grandeur, as usual. He is congratulating himself over his recent publication in the Stars Hollow paper; that his genius is showcased in the Classifieds doesn't seem to bother him. He's selling his mother's dinette set, and is proud of his Hemingwayesque ad writing. He runs it past Zach, who says he's not in the market. This leads to a discussion of the baby shower, to which, much to Zach's disappointment, Luke says he is not going, adding, "But there's a gift for you in the back." Kirk is alarmed: "Wait, gifts are required?" He says he'd been so caught up worrying about the what-to-wear question, he hadn't thought of gifts: "Just to clarify, people don't actually dress like babies, do they?" Hee. I wish. Zach turns again to ask Luke to come: "Look, it's not going to be too much of a rager. Real mellow vibe." Luke sighs that he'll think about it, not mentioning that his issue might be with the host of the party: Lorelai. Kirk is again perusing the Classifieds, reading other ads, including one about a boat for sale at 1211 Elmwood. Luke's head pops up: that's Liz's address, which means it's his boat, the sale of which is news to him.
Mrs. Kim is wrangling with a customer at the antique store when Lorelai comes in. The customer wants to take some cabinets out "on memo," meaning that she'll take them to her house to see how they look, and if she likes them will come back and pay for them. Oh, she has clearly never shopped at Mrs. Kim's. "No!" snaps Mrs. Kim. "I do not work with memos, I work with money!" Having run the customer away, she hands over the Lane photos to Lorelai, but not before lecturing her about how her demands that they be returned in the condition in which they were received. Lorelai is about to make her escape before an innocent comment -- "See you at the shower" -- reveals that Mrs. Kim will not be attending. Lorelai is upset. She knows, she says, that Lane will really want her to be there, and asks Mrs. Kim why she's not coming. "Lane knows why," says Mrs. Kim. Lorelai deduces that there must be a problem between mother and daughter, and asks, "Do you think you could put it aside for one day?" Mrs. Kim says no. Lorelai wonders if there's anything Lane can say or do to make her mom change her mind. Mrs. Kim says yes. "Does she know what it is?" Lorelai asks, rolling her eyes at this game of Twenty Questions. Mrs. Kim says yes, pronounces that she will not be there, waves her duster, and storms away in time to take a parting shot at the memo customer who has returned to once again sniff around the merchandise. Lorelai sighs.
We see Lorelai at Lane's apartment, which she says is looking pretty cute. "Thanks," says Lane. "According to my book, I'm nesting. I hope it stops soon; it 's sort of creeping me out." Lorelai asks Lane what's going on between her and Mrs. Kim. "We got in a fight," says Lane. "And now she says she's not coming to my baby shower, so fine, I don't care." Lorelai tsks. She knows that both Kims care. Lane explains that, the night before, Zach had cut out an ad for Red Lobster's Seafood Festival (mmmm...butter) and was wondering aloud if one could order endless shrimp at the kids' price. Nope. Lorelai bursts her bubble: the kids' price is only on offer when ordered alongside an adult paying the full adult price. "That blows!" says Lane. Lorelai agrees that it does. The fight happened, says Lane, when Mrs. Kim proclaimed that no grandchildren of hers would be eating friend shrimp, anyway. Huh? Forgive me if I am quite wrong, but isn't Korean cuisine pretty much chock full of things containing the terms "fried" and "shrimp"? Anyway, it ticked Lane off that her mom would put dietary restrictions on her as-yet-unborn children and, she tells Lorelai, she went off on a rant: "Not only are my children gonna be eating fried shrimp, they're gonna listen to whatever music they want, and go to school dances. And they're not going to spend their whole lives in church hearing about how doing all that makes them evil." She says, in fact, that her kids probably will never set foot in a church, and will have total freedom. "Total freedom, huh?" Lorelai asks. "Wow. You're just going to let your kids follow their passion, whatever it is?" Lane smiles hugely and says that's it exactly. But Lorelai's got a spanner to throw in the works: What if Lane has kids who are passionate about studying the Bible? Lane scoffs that her kids will surely not want to do that. "You don't know what your kids are going to want," Lorelai correctly points out. "Do you think your mom thought she'd have a kid who loved Jane's Addiction?" Lane gets a worried look, and Lorelai twists the knife: "You might get kids who are nuts for Exodus! Crazy for Deuteronomy! And then what, you want them hiding their Bibles under the floorboards?" Lane is flabbergasted. She says, reluctantly, that if her kids want to go to church, maybe they can, at Christmas. Ah, Lorelai sees the loopholes forming. So, she says, Lane doesn't mean she'll never EVER let her kids go to church. And, on the shrimp front, for at least the first year, the babies won't be able to eat friend shrimp, anyway. "I don't think they make mashed fried shrimp," Lorelai adds (thank God), "so...you could tell your mother that your kids will not eat fried shrimp for at least a year." Lane smirks. "Well, technically..." she agrees. Lorelai says that "technically" is good enough for her, tells Lane to sit tight, and says she'll be right back.
Over at Logan's, Rory is all suited up for her NYT coffee meeting, and is about to leave when she takes another stab at rousing Logan with aspirin. She's awfully cute to him, considering his dickish behavior of the night before, but when she tells him that his dad's secretary has called three times in the last hour, and he won't tell her what about, she gets testy. Quickly, Rory reminds Logan that she needs him to be ready to leave for Lane's shower the moment she returns: "And I'm gonna need you to drive because I'll have to change in the back, Dirty Dancing-style." When the phone rings again and Logan snaps at her to leave it, Rory turns and leaves.
I can't even explain to you why guns are not drawn in this scene. I can't even recap the words that are spoken -- something about how Liz and T.J. really need the space in their garage to store beads and stuff -- because it's ludicrous to me that it wasn't resolved with punches. Luke's listens to them not explain their rationale for selling his boat out from under him with heretofore unseen calm, just sighing and saying he'll just find another place to store it. Liz rolls her eyes, asking him why in the world he's hanging on to the boat at all, saying that their dad spent twenty years working on the boat; now Luke has spent another twenty. "So?" Luke asks, defensive. "So," says Liz, in a rare moment of lucidity, "how many more generations are going to cart this thing around town? Get rid of it for your own sake before you end up like Dad." Luke gets pissed, aggressively asking what she means. He says that their dad was happy working on the boat, but Liz insists that the man was stuck: "Dad didn't do stuff because it made him happy. He did stuff because he was afraid to do anything else." Luke's feelings are hurt, but he seems to be listening to Liz -- which must be weird, seeing as how she rarely says anything that makes sense. However, after a moment, Luke crosses his arms: "My boat, my decision. I'm not selling it."
Rory is at a café, waiting on the Times dude. Unfortunately, she has never met him, and he only described himself as bald. Surrounded by bald guys, she calls her mother in frustration: "How bald do you have to be to be bald?" Lorelai says that, in her experience, if a man describes himself as bald, there is nary a hair on his head. So true. Rory says the problem is that she hadn't realized that New York City is the Bald Guy Capital of the World, and thus she is having to just smile vaguely at every bald man who comes through the door. "Let me guess," says Lorelai. "They're all smiling back." Rory's all stressed, and rapid-fire explains that she's sitting down but doesn't know if she should be, but that this lady gave up her table and Rory got it, but now she wants coffee, etc. "Keep the table," Lorelai advises, "but, uh, when he gets there, go decaf." Heee. Rory says that she's just nervous -- this meeting has such high stakes: "It could mean the difference between interviewing world leaders, and standing on street corners with pictures of celebrities in matching outfits asking passersby who wore it best." She asks Lorelai to ask how the shower planning is going. "Uh..." says Lorelai, about to walk back into Mrs. Kim's. Rory freaks anew, panicking that her second pancake will suck, too. "I've got it all under control," Lorelai assures her. "You just focus on finding the right bald guy." Rory: "Oh, another one just walked in. Stand by while I attempt to make eye contact." Lorelai: "Look at it this way: you are making a lot of bald men feel very good about themselves today." It's true -- when Rory smiles at the one who just walked in, he gives her a repugnant eyebrow raise complete with finger guns. Ew!
Back in the antique store, Lorelai is wheeling and dealing with Mrs. Kim. Lorelai has given her a guarantee of Christmas and Easter church attendance, plus no unclean meats for at least one year. This is agreeable to MamaKim, but she never takes the first offer. She lays out her own requirements: bi-weekly church attendance, Adventist summer camp, avoidance of hydrogenated oils, no gifts at Christmas, no pony rides, no sandboxes. Lorelai suggests that Mrs. Kim be reasonable, saying that she understands that the religious element, especially, is a very sensitive issue. Mrs. Kim says no, she couldn't possibly understand, because Rory has not rejected everything Lorelai ever taught her. Lorelai sighs: "But Lane is not rejecting you. You guys are just different. God knows my mother and I are different!" MamaKim gets the award for best comeback of the season when she straightens her shoulders and responds: "Yes. God does know." Awesome. Lorelai tries again. She says that Lane and Mrs. Kim need to put their differences aside: "Like, you know...Joseph, from the Bible, and how his brothers got all mad at him about that dreamcoat?" MamaKim nods, as if her point has been proven: "Yes, and then his brothers sold him into slavery." Lorelai sees where she went wrong: "Yeah, I don't think that was in the musical." The point, she says, is that she knows it's hard for Mrs. Kim, but that not attending Lane's shower might be drawing a line in the sand that can't be crossed later; Lorelai would hate to see that happen: "My mother missed so much. I don't want that to happen to you." Aw. Mrs. Kim's eyes fill with tears, and dammit, so do mine.
Luke is on the phone with April, who updates him about her mom's new store and April's new swim team. Luke tells her about seeing Doula, and promises to send pictures, but the real reason he's calling is to suggest that this summer, when she comes to visit, they should take a trip to Disney World. "I...I can't imagine you at Disney World," says April. "I'm just having trouble picturing it." Frankly, so am I. Luke, scowling in a photo to a big guy in a Grumpy suit, though...that would be good. Anyway, April says, she's happy to see Luke as she normally does: "I'm fine just hanging out at the diner like we always do." Luke's face falls.
Also looking disappointed? Lane, when Lorelai arrives back at her apartment accompanied by MamaKim. "Your mother realizes that the two of you have your differences and she doesn't agree with some of your decisions," Lorelai starts. She's soon interrupted by Mrs. Kim, who says that it's not "some" of the decisions, but "all." Lane is about to hit the roof again, but Lorelai stops her, telling her of Mrs. Kim's decision to attend the shower. Lane's face lights up, and she is so happy that she lurches herself out of the chair to hug her mom, at which point...she has a contraction. Lorelai is sanguine, not panicking, but MamaKim flips out. They head to the hospital.
When they return, we learn that Lane's been put on bedrest. I'm glad, despite the inflatable weather balloon they have under her shirt, that they're at least showing a moment of reality in relation to a multiple pregnancy. A great number of women carrying more than one baby at a time have to go on bedrest or have other complications; it ain't an easy load to bear. Poor Lane is upset, despite Zach's and Lorelai's trying to cheer her up. "Just think of this as one long lazy Sunday," says Lorelai. "Yeah," adds Zach, "and I'm gonna hang out with you. Just like John and Yoko." None of this calms Lane, however, who blames it all on her mom. "We shouldn't have gone to the hospital," she says, and when Lorelai points out that they went because Mrs. Kim was worried about her, Lane rolls her eyes again: "Yeah, right. She's probably happy." Mrs. Kim irately asks why she'd be happy about this. "Because now I can't have my party," Lane replies. MamaKim chides that parties are certainly not the most important things to think about, but Lane says it's just that this party was going to be her last one. Lorelai asks why it has to be the last. "Because," Lane explains, "I'm about to be a mother." Lorelai: "Um, mothers can have parties." Lane sighs: "Not for themselves, for their children. She did everything for me. I'm going to be the same way." Mrs. Kim is touched. "You will have the party!" she announces. "Lorelai will figure something out." Lorelai smiles the smile of the damned.
Back in NYC, Rory is at Logan's apartment, in a rush, and pissed that Logan is lounging around and not ready to leave with her for Stars Hollow. She tries to make him go with her in the car, but instead, he makes her sit down and finally breaks it to her that his company has gone bust before it even got started. He's lost everyone's money -- his, his father's, the hot dog vendor's, the janitor's, everybody's. He tells Rory that there's a lawsuit that has come up against them that apparently has merit, and therefore they are all screwed. Rory doesn't understand why he hasn't told her about any of this if it happened weeks ago. "I don't know," he says. "I thought maybe I could fix it." Trying to encourage him, Rory says that they can find a way to make it work, but he sadly says no, there's nothing to be done: "This is huge." When Rory tries to Pollyanna him out of it again, Logan snaps, "This isn't something you can fix with a plucky good attitude and a can-do spirit." Aw. Logan has never watched this show, I guess, because hello, a can-do spirit is the answer to most every problem. Rory asks what his dad is saying about all of this, and when she finds out that Logan has been avoiding him, she tries to give a lecture on how Logan will have to talk to him eventually. "Rory," says Logan, "don't give me any grief about this. Any minute now, Mitchum is going to be busting through that door, telling me what a gigantic failure I am." Finally, Rory gets it. She tells Logan how very sorry she is about it all, says they'll get through it no matter what, and adds that she will rush back from the party as soon as she can, cake in hand. "No," he says, "you don't have to rush back." She tells him she knows, but that she wants to. But no, says Logan, he's not going to be there: he's going to Vegas with Colin and Finn. Rory's pissed. Logan can go to Vegas but not Stars Hollow? His assiness of old is creeping back. I knew it was too good to be true!
"Word on the street is, you wanna sell your boat?" Kirk asks, walking into Luke's diner. Luke: "Kirk, I called you." Kirk: "Yeah, but I was on the street when I got that call." They go out to look at the boat, which is parked in front of the diner. They haggle over the non-negotiable price of $600, and Kirk buys Luke's precious boat.
Things are crazy at Miss Patty's. Half the townies are there moving in all the decorations that were at Lorelai's. Miss Patty is overcome with the cuteness of the onesies: "There is nothing cuter than a baby in a onesie. Except, of course, Anthony Quinn in a onesie." Cringing, Lorelai says that she'll have to take her word for it. Blessedly, all talk of Anthony Quinn in baby clothes is halted by the arrival of Rory who is in a panic after having discovered the last-minute location change. Lorelai tries to distract Rory by asking about the bald-guy interview, but finally has to tell her about Lane's bedrest. "How are your shoes?" asks Lorelai, to Rory's great confusion, and they rush out.
Moments later, Rory and Lorelai are rolling Lane's bed down the street, Monkees-style, on the way to Miss Patty's. How they got a queen-size bed out a regular door, I don't know, but I don't care, because I love the hijinks. Lane, also, is thrilled to be getting her party which, honestly, looks like the most awesome party of all time. I wish I were pregnant right now so I could have one. Perhaps I will just throw myself one. Maybe it's just the many shots of the cupcakes, though, that is making me want a party...I am on a diet, so, you know, just the thought of cupcakes causes strange reactions in my brain.
Lorelai goes over to the onesie-painting station, where she is quizzed by Miss Patty on how she's doing with the whole Christopher situation. It's the first time Christopher has been mentioned in the whole episode, and frankly I had not missed him for a moment. Lorelai awkwardly says that she's doing well, moving forward, all of that. Sensing her discomfort, Babette decides (for once) to relieve it by talking about the onsies. Gil has drawn one free-hand which is very good (I'm sorry, I can't see the image very well, so I am not sure what the decoration is), and Lulu, also decorating, reveals her big-time crush on Gil by saying how awesome he is. When the other women shoot her looks, Lorelai intervenes: "Don't worry, Lulu. It's the whole rock star thing." True: I mean, we're talking about Sebastian Bach, here. You've seen his hair. And especially now that someone clearly held him down and gave him a V-05, who can be blamed for loving him?
All over the party, people are having an awesome time. Rory climbs up on a chair and thanks everyone for coming, giving a sweet little speech about how she can't wait to meet the boys. Zach thanks her for everything and goes off to get Lane a drink, leaving the two girls alone. Lane says that she was afraid it would never happen, especially considering classic Kim Family grudgefest that went down. This is the first Rory has heard of the fight: "So my mom brokered peace?" Lane: "Hardcore. If not for your mom, we might have gone the way of Pretty Girls Make Graves. They were so young, and had so many killer albums left in them." The thing is, Lane says, her kids are going to need that kind of intervention, too: "You know, when they're hiding Bibles and they can't stand me. So what I want to know is, would you be their Lorelai Gilmore? I guess that's the proper term. I can't think of anyone who'd be better, and plus, you've already got the name." CRYING. TEARS. Sigh.
Lorelai might have cried, too, at the sweet friend moment she sees across the room, if she hadn't been interrupted by Mrs. Kim presenting her with a thank-you gift of...an antique doorknob. Apparently, it belonged to John Adams. Thanks?
Still pondering the symbolism, Lorelai walks up to Sookie and Jackson arguing about the huge number of gifts Sookie has brought for Land and Zach. "Well," Sookie explains, "I felt bad. I'd already promised them all our old stuff from Martha and Davey, and then I had to renege, you know?" Jackson tries to get mad about it, but Sookie -- barely refraining from punching him in the nuts, no doubt -- reminds him that their whole pregnancy thing is his damn fault. Lorelai is thankfully saved by the arrival of Kirk, wearing a captain's hat. She surmises from his idiocy that he has just purchased Luke's boat, and is stunned. Not least because Kirk's calling it the S.S. Lurk.
Rescued again -- this time by Rory -- Lorelai goes outside to hear about Rory's New York Times interview. Rory excitedly explains how awesome it would be to get the internship as one of only four people in the country, but says she can't think about it anymore, especially in light of the recent Logan fiasco. Lorelai gives her a supportive "UGH" when she hears the names Colin and Finn, but doesn't say what actually NEEDS to be said: that Logan running off and not facing his problems and Rory stupidly saying she's sure it will be okay is a nothing more than Christopher/Lorelai history repeating itself right in front of her face. Lorelai is moved when Rory tells her about Lane's asking Rory to be the Lorelai Gilmore to the twins. "Big shoes to fill," Rory says. "Well," Lorelai answers, "luckily we have similar feet." Sweet. Lorelai gets a nostalgic look, and when Rory asks what it's about, she sighs, and raises her hands to indicate Rory: "I just think my first pancake turned out pretty good." Listen, I haven't stopped crying since I saw that first cupcake, so could these fools shut up already and give me a damn break? My eyes are swelling closed!
Rory and Lorelai are interrupted by Zach, coming out to suggest the cutting of the cake -- "Lane's got that low blood sugar look in her eyes," he says nervously -- and Rory heads inside. Lorelai lingers a moment to look at the pictures they've posted on the bulletin board, especially a precious one of a tiny Rory and Lane. Suddenly, Lorelai hears a voice over her shoulder. "Seems like just yesterday she was taking up three tables at the diner with those huge books of hers," says Luke about Rory. "She was somethin'. IS somethin'." STOP with the CRYING. Man, maybe I AM pregnant. WITH A CUPCAKE. Lorelai tells Luke that she heard about him selling his boat, and he reveals that that's not the whole story; as a matter of fact, as soon as he sold it, he went out and put a down payment on a new, more amazing boat -- one he can keep at the marina and use to take long boat trips with April. Lorelai is amazed. "I can't believe you bought a boat in day," she says. "It used to take you a week to buy a t-shirt." Luke: "Yeah, well. Things change." They share a look that I can't interpret, and go inside, where Rory is wheeling out the cake. And while Zach and Gil rock a duet of the classic "Mockingbird," Lorelai looks wistfully at her daughter and her friend and smiles.