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Rory and Emily aren't speaking. Rory sends Finn and Colin in to retrieve all her stuff, and moves in with Lane, which is where she is when she gets a call from the editor at the Stamford paper, site of Rory's now-mythical humiliation at the hands of "Herr Huntzberger." The editor is extremely nice to Rory, telling her he'd hire her if he had a job, but having none, he will be pleased to give her an excellent reference. Now, even though Rory has sent out (by her own estimation) 125,000 résumés for journalism jobs, she decides the best course of action is to start harassing the one guy who was nice to her and doesn't have work, stalking him at the office and making me cringe and writhe at how inappropriate and awful she's being. Lorelai keeps getting news of Rory -- that she's at Lane's, that she's getting calls about her references (Michel takes one at the Dragonfly) -- but hasn't seen her. In Lorelai's own storyline: the renovations are done at her house, where Luke surprises her with his grandmother's hideously ugly bedroom set, which she pretends to like. They have Sookie and Jackson over for a housewarming, in the middle of which Lorelai gets a message from Christopher. She guiltily turns off the machine mid-message when Luke walks in, touching off a fight about her dishonesty (not really) and his jealousy (totally misplaced). He sulks off to his apartment, but she goes over to finish the argument and they both agree always to be honest about everything. And then the day a girl shows up at the diner to get a piece of Luke's hair for a science project she's doing to determine which of three dudes is her biological father; Luke doesn't mention this to Lorelai that we can see. He later goes to the science fair and learns that he is the father of this twelve-year-old girl, although she doesn't seem to care or want anything from him. Lorelai gets an urgent call from Richard about a missing Emily, whom Lorelai tracks down at the airport, where she's doing an unassisted walkthrough on a timeshare plane she's thinking of buying. She gives Lorelai the broad strokes on her blowout with Rory, and how Emily feels she lost her just the way she lost Lorelai; though Lorelai tells her nicely that none of what happened is Emily's fault (a lie, of sorts) and that Rory never should have been at Emily's in the first place, she doesn't...like, hug her mother or anything. I guess we're supposed to be satisfied that she kissed Luke a couple of times in the episode. To my absolute horror -- and in a terrible blow to reality -- Rory's stunningly unprofessional behaviour is rewarded with a job at the paper. She calls Lorelai from her car to give her all the good news -- that she's also going back to Yale, magically, now that the term is almost over, in a highly unlikely negotiation wisely kept offscreen -- and Lorelai demands that Rory move back in with her while she finds a place to live near school, and the titular Girls are finally, FINALLY reunited for real on the lawn at Lorelai's, and I did not choke up a little...shut up. So Lorelai, all a-flutter, takes off to Luke's to raid his pantry and also tell him that Rory's back, and that they can now set a date for their wedding, and though it looks like he was just about to figure out a way to tell Lorelai about the daughter he suddenly has, he doesn't actually do so. Al Lowe will tell all in the recap. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
This has got to be the craziest episode ever of this show. It was pretty good, yes, but there were just...so many words. Isn't The WB the channel I watch when I want to see long montages of scenes with the latest Liz Phair sellout song playing in the background? Where was that this week? I know, I know. The dialogue is what we love on this show, but jeez, it seemed in this episode like each actor was in a race with himself to get all the words out before the Supernatural commercial.
Lorelai arrives home to find her front door chained. She considers this to be odd, since she did not have a chain on her door before. She calls for Luke to let her in. "Lorelai?" he answers from within the house. "Noooo," she says. "Landshark. Candygram. Here's Johnny." Luke tells her to stay there, and arrives at the door with a glass of wine to welcome her in. He's celebrating: the house is done. I would like to poor a tub of wine to celebrate, too, but Lorelai feels differently. She seems skeptical. Surely the guys will need to come back and put on socket covers and fix mouldings and pick up their tools. Luke says nope: he gave the crew a big bonus to finish up early. Lorelai finally admits that she's sad. She wanted to have a party to celebrate. "The place was covered with dust," Luke says. "You were getting woken up at 6 AM every morning [sic] from the hammering. I thought you'd be happy." Lorelai says she is, but that she's sad at the same time: "You've never been with a woman before?" Hee. Luke is flabbergasted, but says in kind of a sexy voice that he has another surprise for her upstairs in the bedroom. "Upstairs in the bedroom?" Lorelai repeats. "Whatever could it be?" Luke takes her up, telling her to close her eyes before going in the room. "I'm not scared of it anymore, Luke," she jokes, and he opens the door to reveal...the craziest, darkest, heaviest bedroom suite you can imagine. It is immediately evident that Lorelai hates it, but she puts her game face on. "Wow..." she says, in pain. "Look at all the cherubs." Luke says he wanted to surprise her with it because he remembered she said she liked it after she saw it that one time in his storage unit five years ago. She clearly has no recollection of that event, but doesn't say anything since he seems so excited. He also has some tragically ugly sailboat pictures he's planning to hang. A little secret: this is one of the hardest parts of being married. If you're lucky, your stuff fits together well and not much will have to be thrown out. But if, say, your husband is from south Jersey and he is an historian who appreciates only furniture that weighs three tons and has visible wood knots, no matter how ugly it also may be.... What I'm saying is: Lorelai, I feel your pain.
At the Grandparents', Emily is sitting at the breakfast table reading the paper alone when Rory strolls by in her zoo jumpsuit, apparently on her way to her community service. Rory is on her way back out, muffin in hand, when Emily commands Sumatra, the maid, to get Rory a plate for her breakfast. Rory explains to Sumatra that she is in a hurry and is going up to her room. Emily gets mad and says that all foods are to be consumed in the dining room and nowhere else: that's the rule. Rory gets mad, too, and sets down the muffin, saying, "Fine," and that she'll be back that afternoon.
In the kitchen at the Dragonfly, Sookie is mixing stuff up for cooking when Lorelai comes in. "I have to go to China," Sookie says. Without asking why, Lorelai tells her to enjoy her flight. "I need inspiration! I need ideas!" Sookie continues. "I'm tapped out. Boring!" She says the only thing she could up with for dinner that night was goose with oyster stuffing, and the only reason she thought of that was because Davey just learned duck-duck-goose, "and the ducks looked puny." Lorelai tells her to say hi to Yao Ming for Lorelai, and invites Sookie to a little housewarming party Saturday night at Lorelai's place to celebrate the completion of the renovations. "It's done!" Sookie says, happy for her. "Saturday night!" Lorelai says yes, she's heard "it's all right for fighting, get a little action in." Sookie is very excited for her, but has to ask, when she sees the expression on her face, why Lorelai isn't. Lorelai puts it to her hypothetically. Suppose, she says, Jackson came home with his grandmother's pots and pans, which he felt very sentimental about. Obviously, the pans are free and all, but they're really old and they have fat cherubs carved on them. Sookie, trying to follow, asks whether the cherubs interfere with the cooking function, or if they're just decorative. "Well, 'decorative' is a wildly generous description," Lorelai says, "but the function's fine." Sookie wonders where her old pots and pans went, and when Lorelai says that Babette's nephew is now sleeping on them, she finally has to explain that she's talking about Luke's grandmother's bed and how much she hates it. Sookie makes a sympathetic face as Lorelai barrels on. Luke's done so much for her, she says, listing off his many gestures of love: "He has turned his whole life upside down for me. He does everything in his power to make me happy and give me what I want, so can't I give him this one little thing?" Sookie cheers that, yes, she can. "No," Lorelai says, "I can't." The bed is way too small,and low: "Just perfect for tiny, shrunken limbs that can't be too far off the ground." She goes on about the original, warped glass in the dresser and how every morning when she wakes up she'll look in the mirror and think she's that kid from Mask. She feels really bad about it, because Luke loves the stuff, but she just wants her new house to be perfect. She already had a bunch of old, crappy hand-me-downs from the old Independence Inn and she really wanted something new. She warns Sookie that she'll see what she means Saturday night, and we cut away...
...to Richard, who has swept into the Big House calling out for Emily, going on and on about his business stuff without waiting for a reply. Instead of being subjected to her knife-like shrill, we see Finn's and Colin's dumb asses come down the stairs carrying boxes. Richard does not recognize them and demands to know what they're doing in the house. They are, in fact, moving Rory's things out, although Rory herself is not there. Richard says that this whole thing is preposterous, and wants an explanation, which he does not get from these two buffoons.
Lorelai is at Luke's, smelling some nachos. They aren't right, she tells Luke, and says she knows he used baked chips and low-fat cheese. He tries to deny it, but finally gives in. "How could you lie?" she teases. "The trust, Luke. How are we gonna make it if you're constantly trying to keep me healthy?" He grabs the plate to stomp off. "Fine," he says, "die at sixty." She asks him to bring her a donut while she waits. Siiiigh. Please tell me how to stay thin eating nachos. Because I would so like to be on that diet. Lane walks by to refresh a customer's coffee, and ignores Lorelai when the latter tries to flag her down to say hello. Finally, Lane can avoid it no longer and goes over to the table, kind of embarrassed. She hems and haws and won't look at Lorelai and Lorelai finally has to bust her on it: "You're giving me a Valerie Cherish here," she says, and then does her best Lisa Kudrow, adding, "and 'I don't wanna see that!'" Could that reference have been any more obscure? I never saw an episode of The Comeback, so I have no idea what she's supposed to mean, though Lauren Graham just pulled off an excellent Phoebe. Lane also looks confused, and Lorelai tells her that it's a great show, and that she should watch it. "I will," Lane says, uncomfortable, but Lorelai tells her it was cancelled. "Oh, sorry," Lane says, and Lorelai deadpans, "Well, it's your fault." Lane looks really uncomfortable now, and Lorelai asks her what's really going on, saying that they normally swap info about how their days are going. "It's not curing the bird flu or anything," she says, "but it's a nice tradition." Lane finally gives it up: Rory is moving in with her. Lorelai is shocked and wonders why, but Lane says she doesn't really know -- Rory just needed a place to crash. She's uncomfortable because she wasn't sure she was supposed to tell Lorelai, who answers that she understands, and that she's just curious. Lane, still kind of uncomfortable, leaves, saying "Well, when I know more..."
Later, Rory is at Lane's, set up at the kitchen counter, typing away on her computer while Lane makes grilled cheese sandwiches. "Such service," Rory says. Lane: "I'm just in it for the tips." Rory offers her the tip of "underwear first, then pants." Lane rolls her eyes: "What a shame that I'm away from my snare drum." pfTL, who I am sorry to say is the dick of this episode, strolls in complaining that the household is low on shampoo. Lane says she'll get more tomorrow, but he continues to nag, implying that it's Rory's fault. Rory doesn't seem to love pfTL here, nor does Lane, and who can blame her? He's being a jerk, especially considering how he takes advantage of Lane and is hell to live with himself. I know he's supposed to be the comic relief here, but he's coming off kind of like someone I'd hate. Plus, Rory and Lane used to be fun all by themselves. Boys ruin everything! This is why you should never date someone with whom you are in a band. Have we learned nothing from Fleetwood Mac? Says your friendly recapper, who is married to her own band's drummer...so, yes, never mind. pfTL goes to pour himself some cereal and continues to complain: "Cool. Don't have to strain myself by lifting a full box. Excellent." Palladinos, don't make me hate pfTL! Rory says she's not staying that long, and Lane tells pfTL to relax. He tells a story about a Don who swore he was only staying for a little while and ended up staying six weeks: "Ate all my Cheese Nips. But when I confronted him with the box, he claimed they were just settling. Dude had Cheese Nip breath as he told me they were just settling." Hee.
Blessedly, Rory's phone rings. It's Mr. Wultz, editor of the Stamford paper where Rory used to intern, telling her he'd be glad to give her a good reference. "Look," he says, "I don't really know what happened with you and Mitchum, but from me to you, you're a sharp kid, and you've got a lot going for you." He says she's not the first person ever to have a run-in with "Herr Huntzberger," and that she should ignore him. She says she'll do just that. ["Liar. Shut up, Rory." -- Wing Chun] Wultz says he'd like to hire Rory himself, but that the paper has no openings, and she thanks him, saying she's grateful for the reference. Proud of herself, she hangs up, explaining to Lane and Zach that she's just sent out 125,000 résumés, and that it's time for her to hit the pavement. Before she can get ready, Lane tells her about her conversation with Lorelai, apologizing if Lane wasn't supposed to have revealed Rory's wherabouts. Rory says she doesn't mind, really, and goes off to face the day as pfTL complains further: "Sure, just leave your computer plugged in and sucking up all our energy." Lane admonishes him for his jerkiness. "What?" he says, all huffy. "I'm just writing a song." Is the song titled "I'm a Big Ass, Remix Episode 9," pfTL? I hope so. As annoyed as I was at the character's behavior in this scene, it did at least provide me with an excuse to get away with my own jerkiness from now on. "What? I'm just writing a song" could cover me for a lot of personal stupidity, actually. I plan to use it liberally.
Lorelai's Saturday-night housewarming is in full effect as she and Sookie set the table for dinner. Sookie is wearing possibly the weirdest dress-over-jeans-plus-sweater combo ever to be seen on television. I love the colors, but that's just a lot of layers, really. Plus, whenever I see anyone attempting to rock this particular trend, I can only laugh and think of my elementary school, where the girls had to wear dresses or skirts but could, on cold days, wear pants underneath. So, though I wore something remarkably similar in the second grade at Shades Mountain Christian, I question the necessity of wearing such things as an adult. Sookie has brought a chicken and dumplings to the house (though Luke is currently grilling outside), and puts her dish in the oven. "I never go anywhere without a casserole," she says. Lorelai: "Must make dining out rather awkward." Yes, and it must make being friends with people rather awkward, as well, when you show up their house as an invited guest for dinner and bring food.
Jackson and Luke come in from grilling, Jackson yelling at Luke about there being no shame in using a charcoal chimney on the grill. Luke counters that real men do not use charcoal chimneys, and I see a tear fall from the eye of my real-man husband, who loves Luke but must now break up with him forever, because even such powerful manlove cannot trump his devotion to his charcoal chimney, the use of which was taught to him by his true amour, Alton Brown. Jackson says that not using one makes the grilling take twice as long, but hey, "just go ahead and rub those sticks together, I'll just go learn a language or something." HA! Why is every scene between Luke and Jackson so contentious? Jackson wonders if Luke has a spray bottle to spray the flames down if they get too high, "or do you just use a hose?" Lorelai cracks that Luke actually just uses his man-breath to blow them out. "And then he challenges them to an arm-wrestling contest," Sookie adds. Lorelai: "And then he insults the flames' mother and sleeps with its girlfriend." Good one, ladies. When the fellas go back out to finish the manly grilling, Sookie makes Lorelai take her up to see the bedroom set: "I wana see the creepy granny bed." Lorelai sighs, saying she's trying to rise above it, but Sookie insists. They head upstairs. "It's..." Sookie starts. Lorelai: "Terrible?" Sookie nods: "Reeeeallly terrible." Lorelai says she's convinced that Luke will get up one night to go to the bathroom and come back to find nothing but a bloody hook hanging from the bed post. Yet, she says, she can't tell him she hates it, because she knows he loves it. Sookie points at various features of the furniture, saying that surely Luke has not seen THAT, and they leave as the phone rings.
Since Lorelai is the last person in the world with an actual answering machine instead of voicemail, we hear the machine pick up and Christopher's voice saying he hopes she's well, and that he needs to talk to her about something big. She looks kind of pained, standing there listening to him, and when Luke walks in, she knee-jerks, quickly moving to cut off the machine. This makes her look guilty when she really isn't, and Luke gets pissed. Sookie makes a quick exit as Luke starts accusing Lorelai of hiding something from him. She assures him that there's nothing going on, and he gives a terse "fine" and starts to walk out. She asks why he's leaving, and he says he doesn't want to talk about it now, with people in the house, because it's rude. "Last time we were over, Sookie breastfed Martha during appetizers," she says. "We owe them." Plus, she says, it's rude to sulk through dinner and pretend they're not fighting. "We're not fighting...yet," Luke responds, all ominous and with, I'm sorry, sort of an abuser vibe.
And dinner is just as Lorelai predicted: awkward. The only one who doesn't feel it is Jackson, who is telling a nasty story about standing in a pile of manure, ordering fish heads from some guy named Tomato George. Hilarious. The silence becomes more and more deafening, so he just keeps going on and on, mugging a crazy accent for Tomato George, who apparently talks like a gangster because he is from Kansas. Luke is being all ass-y, and Sookie vainly tries to save the moment by nervously announcing that "people from Kansas talk funny." Jackson is finally catching on, and asks if he missed something. "Always, honey," Sookie tells him, but he just goes on. He thinks Luke's sulking because the burgers with Jackson's "world-famous rub" are better than Luke's. Everybody's uncomfortable, and Luke makes it worse, saying that he has no problem admitting that Jackson's burgers are better, because he has no trouble telling someone something no matter how difficult it might be to say it. Lorelai sighs, "They'll be debating the subtle complexities of that comment for years." She and Luke then get into an argument about how rude the other is, which spirals into a fight about Christopher's phone call. Sookie and Jackson sit there like little kids with asshole parents, as Luke accuses Lorelai of lying about Chris. It escalates into Lorelai finally blurting that she hates the bedroom suite. "Well, thank you very much for your honesty about my grandmother's furniture," Luke says. "Too bad you're not a little bit more forthcoming about the other men in your life." Lorelai snaps. "Oh my God," she says. "Enjoy Wisteria Lane, you major drama queen." Love it. Men ruin everything! Lauren Graham really laid it on thick, too, which was awesome. As Luke stomps out, huge-baby-style, she tells him to wrap himself in a towel and trip over a hedge on the way out. Lorelai goes to feed Paul Anka a burger, and Jackson worries. "Was it because I brought up my meat rub?" he asks about the fight. "Yes," Sookie says. "It was."
Later, in Luke's old apartment, Lorelai shows up with a plate of food. "Once we're married," she says, "you're not going to be able to run away to your clubhouse anymore. You're gonna have to join a Rotisserie baseball league like the rest of the men." Luke smirks. "When we're married, huh?" he says. "When's that gonna be?" Poor Luke. ["Okay, but that's the kind of comment that might make me answer, 'Never, bitch.'" -- Wing Chun] Luke goes on to say that he's never going to be comfortable with Christopher being in Lorelai's life. (He says "Christophuh" like he's on The Sopranos. Fuckin' Christophuh.) Lorelai sighs that Chris will always be in her life, since he's Rory's dad (except he hardly is, really), and that she swears she has not heard from him in a year. Luke sternly says that they cannot hide things from each other, and that even though he's not going to like Christopher calling, Lorelai has to tell him, because their marriage won't work if they don't tell each other everything. Everything. Did he mention he wants them to share everything? Because, yes, he's mentioned it now a few dozen times, hello, and I just want you to notice now, because this anvil I am holding up over here is getting heavy. Luke asks again if Lorelai really hates the bedroom set, and she shudders, expressing her true hatred. She apologizes for yelling it at him during dinner. Oh, yeah, dinner -- the light bulb seems to come on, and Luke asks how Sookie and Jackson are. "I think they enjoyed watching a show for once that didn't have Laa-Laa playing the guitar." Luke smiles. "Come here," he says, and Lorelai moves into his lap to do a little bit from Bad Santa. As they ACTUALLY KISS, Luke repeats that they have to share all their secrets. So, Lorelai gives it up: in fifth grade, she told all her friends at school that Erik Estrada was her boyfriend, and that they used to make out on his motorcycle.
At the offices of the Stamford paper, Rory waits in the lobby. Wultz shows up and is surprised to see her there, especially when she says she's come to see him about a job. He explains to her again that he does not have any jobs available, but she's not having it. She gives him the high-pressure sale, including her resume and a HUGE portfolio. He remains confused: he's told her a few times now that he has no openings. "I know, but see, earlier today on the phone," she says, "you were so positive, and optimistic, and you said so many nice things. I mean, frankly, you made me sound great! So great that I thought, 'Hey, you should hire that girl.'" Cute, but Rory, he's not going for it, so perhaps...shutting up? No? Of course not. The bottom line, Rory says, is that Mitchum was wrong. She knows this paper backward and forward and she's a good writer and, as an attractive bonus, she's willing to work cheap. Now, many of the good people of the GG forum were highly wrought over this (and subsequent) scene(s) of Rory's aggression on this matter. I have to say, though, that I kind of like it. ["So fired." -- Wing Chun] I think they flog it way too hard, but I like that Rory's doing this. I wish she had been as forthright with her family and not moved out of her grandparents' house in secret, but I think this is Good Rory, if perhaps disguised as Pushy Rory. She begs for five minutes of time, saying she's most concerned about finding the right place for herself. "Well, it's not the right place for you," he says, frustrated, "because I have no place for you!" He refuses her request for time and walks away as she remains, determined to wait.
At Luke's, things are not going so well. All the orders are wrong and Luke is running around during his busy time. Cesar tells him that "the stove is going blinky," but Luke doesn't have time. An adolescent girl in a crazy bike helmet comes in and tries to get Luke's attention. He tells her to sit down and finally looks up to notice her headgear. "What the hell are you wearing?" he asks. Flatly, she tells him it's a bike helmet. Luke: "For what kind of bike?" The girl: "A Schwinn." Whoever the kid is, I love her. She gives him a bike safety lecture, and then follows him around until he finally talks to her. She wrestles the helmet off ("It takes a minute") and explains her reason for being there. She needs his hair, with the roots, for her science fair. "Every year, Samuel Folotsky wins the science fair," she says. "Now, it's very important that I beat him this year, because I hate him." HA! I love nerdy kids, for real. She explains, further, that she needs Luke's hair because her project is going to be her finding her father through DNA testing. Luke is, as you might imagine, stunned to hear this, but she goes on matter-of-factly to explain that she figures this will be perfect for the fair. "Real science," she says. "DNA testing, with a flash of human drama. Who's my daddy? Huh? Catchy, right?" Luke is babbling now. He doesn't understand why she's there to get his hair, but the girl goes on: if she wins, not only will she get a prize, but she'll get to go to a special spaghetti banquet at which she can choose from at least ten different kinds of spaghetti. "I already know what I'm getting," she says, as Luke sputters. "Split order: half mushroom, half muenster cheese." Luke, still wrestling with the original subject: "No..." But she shakes her head. "Yes," she says, "that's what I'm getting." And with that, she reaches up, jerks out one of Luke's hairs ["but he has so few to spare!" -- Wing Chun], snaps his picture and heads out, shouting for him to wish her luck. A few words about this shark-jumping storyline: it's stupid. HOWEVER, the kid is undeniably awesome. How to deal with this? I am torn. Frankly, the Secret Kid plot is tired and dumb, and there is already a premium on inappropriately-conceived and badly-parented children on this very program. But...the girl was wearing glasses and had a charming lisp. Damn you, Palladinos, you know the way to my heart.
Back at the paper, Editor Wultz is walking through the hall with Harry, discussing a story, when they pass Rory in the lobby. Wultz rolls his eyes at her, but she troops on, butting in to their conversation and making a suggestion as to how to track down a story source. Wultz has to admit that it was a good suggestion. "Thanks, boss," she says, excited. He reminds her that he is NOT her boss, because she does not work there, but she insists again that she could change that fact if he could give her five minutes of his time. He says again that he does not have five minutes, and walks off as she calls after him that he knows where to find him. Surely he is going to his office to call the police, right?
At the Dragonfly, Michel is complaining about having to restock the bookshelves. "What is wrong with people?" he asks. "Don't they know the written word is dead?" Lorelai corrects him: "Books are back. Oprah says." He goes on to tell her that someone has called wanting a job reference for Rory. "I said very nice things," he said. "I did not mention how she used to steal stamps and sit in my chair, and I said she was a very hard worker, and now you owe me the weekend off." Lorelai is confused. She wants to know all about it, but of course Michel doesn't remember anything about the call, and they don't have time to get into it because Lorelai's cell phone rings. It's her father, frantic, trying to find Emily. He says that her bed doesn't look slept in, to which Lorelai answers that the maids probably made it after she got up. "Your mother fired the maid," he says. He hasn't heard from her for a few days, and he's very worried about that, and about the fact that Rory has moved out. Lorelai gets worried, too. She charges into the kitchen -- where Sookie is making something fairly delicious-looking -- all flustered. She explains about the call from her dad and all this stuff with Rory and, declaring that she's determined to find out what's going on, grabs her coat and heads out.
Lorelai arrives at Lane's, looking for Rory. pfTL immediately and rudely jumps on her about Rory staying with them and using all their stuff. "Didn't you guys use my garage as rehearsal space rent-free for about two years?" Lorelai asks. Brian meekly says that it was three, actually. "So, I'll tell you what, Zach," she replies. "Why don't I give you forty dollars for Rory, and you can give me $1,200 for the garage. What do you think? Have we got a deal?" pfTL backpedals, saying he was joking, and he's lucky that Lorelai's phone rings again, before she comes in and eats his face off. It's Emily on the phone, and Lorelai tells her to stay where she is; she's coming to find her.
Turns out, Emily's at the airport, looking at a plane to buy. Lorelai boards, calling out for her. "I'm in the cockpit," Emily says. Lorelai: "Add that to the list of things I never thought I'd hear my mother say." Emily explains that she and Richard might buy the plane on timeshare with a few other couples, and that she'd use it to travel with Richard for work. Lorelai says she can do that now, without buying a plane. ["Why in the world would you try to dissuade someone you knew from buying any part of a private plane? Not to have to sit at a gate anymore? Not to have to get to the airport three hours early to go through a hellacious line at Customs? Not to get that princely six cubic inches of leg room? Let the woman buy the plane, Lorelai, and then borrow the hell out of it! Damn!" -- Wing Chun] Well, Emily says, she could use it for other things, or Luke and Lorelai could use it, or whatever. She's obviously losing it, but Lorelai pushes, saying that Richard is very worried about Emily, and that she needs to go home. Instead, Emily starts going on about how all the fabric in the plane is horrible and will have to be changed. Lorelai reminds her that if it's a timeshare, she won't be able to change it, anyway, and Emily flips, and says that she'll buy the whole damn plane, herself. ["Yes! Now we're talking!" -- Wing Chun]
Lorelai catches on that uh, maybe none of this is about a plane. Emily goes off. She's tired of Lorelai's attitude, she says. "You look at me as a thing of amusement," she adds, Lorelai protesting all the way. "Something to be pitied, to feel sorry for." She self-mocks about all her parties and frivolous spending and how everyone makes fun of her for it, but Lorelai insists that no one thinks that. "It's my fault that Rory dropped out of Yale," Emily says, all sarcastic and martyrish. "It's my fault that she's with Logan, that she's unhappy. It's all my fault." Lorelai has a look of great pity when she says that it wasn't Emily's fault at all. "The way she talked to me," Emily says bitterly of Rory. "You would have been very proud." Lorelai is sad. "No," she says, but Emily goes on: "She looked at me just like you used to, with that defiant 'who are you to be telling me what to do' sort of look." She says that Rory packed and left with no thank-you or goodbye. She is crying, and Lorelai feels bad. "Mom..." she starts, but Emily stops her with a hysterical "Just let me buy my plane, Lorelai! Let me be frivolous and shallow, won't you please?!" Lorelai lets it go. "Okay," she says, with quiet kindness, and makes to leave. Turning, she adds, "It's not the same, Mom, what happened with Rory. It's not the same." Emily sighs, and damn, Kelly Bishop is outstanding here: "I lost her like I lost you. It feels remarkably similar to me." Lorelai shakes her head. "You didn't lose her like you lost me. She was never supposed to be there in the first place. She was always supposed to be at school. She just went back where she belonged." Leaving now as Emily starts crying again, Lorelai adds, "And you didn't lose me."
Back at the paper, Rory is sticking to her guns. Wultz charges out with her portfolio, which he has found in his office, and admonishes her, seriously, for coming into his office when he wasn't there. "Stay out of my office," he tells her, but finally breaks down after seeing her disappointed yet again. "Five minutes," he says. Rory is excited. "Did you like it?" she asks. "I don't see you moving" is his answer, as she trots after him, thanking him profusely. ["Appalling. In the real world, how that would work is that Wultz would have called Security on Rory after about the second day of stalking, and that Rory's unprofessional behaviour would totally obliterate the good impression Wultz had of her, and she would lose his great reference for her. I hope the employers of America file a class-action suit against the Palladinos for making every idiotic, inexperienced would-be employee think that 'I don't have a job for you' means 'you need to pester me about it a lot more and then one will magically create itself out of thin air.'" -- Wing Chun]
At the science fair, Luke is wandering among the exhibits when he has a rude awakening: the girl from the diner is there with her display and...Luke's her daddy. He is as speechless as she is surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?" she asks. He says he just came down to see the potato clock. "Potatoes are extraordinary," she agrees, and then confirms that he is actually her father. She shows him her report. "So," he says, nervously, "you're smart, huh?" He sees her name on the report. "April Nardini," he says. "So your mom is...Anna." He remembers. Anna Nardini, whom he hasn't seen in twelve years. "I didn't know about you," he tells her, after having to sit down. She shrugs and says she knows. He notices that her project came in second, and says he's sorry she didn't win. "The solar pizza oven came in first," she says. "Environmentalism is very big right now." Luke awkwardly asks if she'd like to get some ice cream, and she says she can't; the winners have to give a presentation after the show. "Should I stay?" he wonders. She asks why as if he'd just suggested he do a musical number, and fumbling with the report she'd given him, he leaves.
Lorelai is at home killing time when the phone rings. It's Rory. Lorelai is over the moon to hear from her. Rory has big news: she got a job and she's going back to Yale. She is so happy and Lorelai is in tears. "And this is what you want?" Lorelai says, and Rory says it is. Lorelai tells her to tell Lane she's moving out, and to get her butt over there right now. "Well, okay, if you insist," Rory says, smiling, and Lorelai realizes that she's pulling in the driveway. "Oh!" she gasps. "You look so much more silver than I remember." Rory says, come on, is it too much to ask for a heartfelt greeting after this lengthy separation? She hangs up the phone as she runs out into the yard and into her mother's arms. They cling to each other, apologizing for everything, and Rory tells Lorelai she loves her. "Oh, kid," Lorelai sighs. "You have no idea."
Moments later, Lorelai's in Luke's raiding the donuts, demanding that Luke supply her and Rory with burgers and fries for their big reunion. "Rory's back," she says. "We can set the date. We can get married now. We can set the date, because Rory's back." Luke is speechless as Lorelai charges out, telling him not to skimp on the fries: "We don't want to lose her again." He stands in silence realizing that the secret he now will have to tell Lorelai will beat out Erik Estrada as her fifth-grade boyfriend by a mile.