Lorelai and Rory are on the phone with each other. Amazingly, neither one of them is talking. Instead, they're both watching something off-camera that sounds like a vacuum cleaner. They are fascinated. We then see that they're each watching a Roomba, which are scampering about their respective domiciles, cleaning everything in their paths. Lorelai asks if this more or less fun than watching the same TV show at the same time. Rory says more. Lorelai says that if they both died right now, their Roombas would suck up their decomposing remains and no one would ever know. "Freaky," says Rory. And, fade to opening credits. I have to say, that was probably the best opening sequence I've ever seen on any TV show, ever.
A bathrobe-clad Paris skips around the dorm, happily, if badly, singing "I'm Walking On Sunshine." Rory comes out and tells her to learn a new song before Rory ties Paris to a chair and makes her watch Hotel Rwanda. Aw, now, when did watching Don Cheadle become a punishment? Paris says she's really happy now that Doyle is her official boyfriend. Rory says she is similarly happy with Logan. "We're happy! We have boyfriends!" says Paris. Well, they might as well change the title of this show to Gilmore Girls Whose Lives Are Only Complete With Men in Them. Logan "Richie Rich" Huntzberger arrives, and he and Rory kiss while Paris provides running commentary. Rory and Richie decide to take it to Rory's bedroom, which is a Paris-free zone.
In her room, Richie and Rory kiss, and Rory tells Richie about how happy Paris has been lately because she's "in love" with Doyle. Don't think Paris said anything about being in love, but whatever. Rory asks Richie to help her keep Paris happy, because "when Paris is happy, the whole world is happy. But when she's not happy, the whole world is Deadwood." Everybody say it with me now: cocksucker! Richie says he'll try not to rain on Paris's parade, and Rory goes to get her sweater for dinner. While in her closet, she pulls out some possible outfits for her internship week, and asks Richie what he thinks of them. I wouldn't go to Richie for fashion advice, given the weird black sweater with a stripe of black and red boxes running down the left side that he's wearing. Rory says she wants to look "professional" but not "too Lois Lane-y." Richie says he's sure whatever Rory wears will be fine, because he's really not interested in talking about Rory's internship -- involving, as it does, his dad. Rory doesn't get the hint, though, and moves on to a stack of papers on her desk. The papers are print-outs of webpages about Mitch Rich, whom Rory Googled last night when she couldn't sleep. She rattles off all the biographical information about and journalistic accomplishments of Mitch that she discovered, as Richie stares at her, his expression equal parts "I know when my own father was born, why are you telling me this?" and "uh oh, my girlfriend is a creepy stalker." He tries to break in on Rory's rapid-fire monologue about his own father, and finally gets a chance to ask Rory if she has a secret room decorated with pictures of his father. In other words, "You're creeping me out with this, better stop now." Rory says she's interning for Mitch, so she has to know everything about him. And where better to go for this information than the source, or at least, the fruit of the source's loins? "What are his politics?" she asks. "What does he read? Come on, tell me something!" "He hates peas," says Richie, adding that he and his father only talk about two things: sailing, and what a disappointment Richie is. He doesn't want to talk about his dad anymore; he wants to go to dinner. On their way out, Rory asks Richie Mitch's opinions on Pinochet.
Hey! Rory's in class! And her professor looks almost exactly like a history professor I had, down to the mismatched sweater vest over plaid shirt. My professor's name was Oliver W. Holmes, and I always thought his parents must have either been giant assholes, or had extremely high expectations, or both. The Professor dismisses class, noting that Rory has a pile of books about wine and Haiti. "My interests are teasingly diverse," she responds, which means, "I am trying to find out as much as I can about my latest stalking victim." "Whatever," says the professor. He must be a Luke/Lorelai fan. As the rest of the class gets up and leaves, Rory's cell phone rings. It's Lorelai. Rory is lucky she didn't call like five minutes earlier. That would have been embarrassing. My cell phone rang during a class once, and my professor made fun of me for having such an old cell phone, like, some of us are poor, dude. (He went to Yale, incidentally.)
Lorelai wants to know whether Rory returned a blue sweater that Lorelai "demanded" she return to a store. Lorelai is disappointed. Rory says she's not going to go back and get the blue sweater, only to have to return it again. She says she has returned a lot of Lorelai's clothes, and is now embarrassed to show her face in any of New Haven's finer clothing retail establishments. Of which there are, like, two. New Haven was not commonly known as the place to go for fashion when I was growing up, although that might have changed recently with the opening of stores like Urban Outfitters and Ikea. But anyway, why can't Lorelai return her own clothes? She asks Rory to get the sweater on Monday, her free day. Rory says she can't, because she has an internship that she conveniently forgot to mention to her mother. Lorelai is thrilled until Rory says she got it through Mitch Rich.
Luke wanders into the diorama room, which is still awesome. Awesomer still is the fact that the Jebediah family's horse has fallen on Taylor, and he's been trapped underneath it for the last two hours. Taylor says he was trying to "reposition" the horse's "hindquarters" when it fell on him. So that's what they're calling it these days. Luke points out that the museum has had no visitors in the last two hours to provide assistance. Taylor acknowledges this, but says he's going to try bus stop bench ads to get the word out, which he read that "Fiddy Cent" swears by. I love that Taylor called him "Fiddy" instead of "Fifty." I also love how there's a creepy bald mannequin head in the foreground of every shot of Taylor. Luke tells Taylor it's time to sell the house. Taylor grudgingly agrees. Has it been two months already?
Friday Night Dinner! Emily and Richard talk about tennis, and how the sight of Emily in her "fetching tennis costume" makes Richard randy. Emily tells Richard not to talk like this in front of Rory, but Rory says she's "fairly worldly now." "Fairly worldly now" = not a virgin. Richard adds that Emily has always been a very competitive athlete, going back to her days on the Smith field hockey team, when she was known to elbow opponents in the neck -- after the game was finished. Emily changes the subject to Rory's internship. Emily and Richard are very excited about it, and that Mitch Rich offered it to Rory personally. "Your reputation precedes you!" Richard says. Her reputation as Richie's girlfriend? Yes. Her reputation as a journalist? Probably not. Emily and Richard are alarmed to hear that Rory had dinner at the Rich Mansion, and that a week has passed without their returning the favor. They rush off to get their datebooks, and order Rory to call Richie immediately.
Poor Richie is trying to relax at home. Rory calls and tells him that her grandparents insist that he have dinner at their place. She says that her grandparents are "flipping out" and "losing it." That's quite a ringing endorsement! Who wouldn't want to share a meal with crazy people? Rory says she doesn't want to put any pressure on Richie, and that she's sorry. Richie asks if it's possible to get out of dinner. It isn't. He says he'll go, then.
Luke serves Lorelai a delicious-looking diner cheeseburger. She says that Rory's in town to see Lane's band play at 3 in the morning, and that Lorelai is not looking forward to having to wake her up at 2 in the morning. There's a noise outside, and Lorelai looks out the window to see some guys carrying a mannequin through the streets. "Aw, are the guys in town unusually lonely these days?" Lorelai asks. Ha! Luke says that the museum is closed. Lorelai is very sad, saying she wanted to go back to the museum "just as soon as the nightmares about the 'I love Jesus!' mannequin subsided." Ha ha! That's two really funny lines.
Luke wanders off as Rory enters the diner. She has Lorelai's sweater, and says she had to endure verbal abuse at the hands of a saleswoman to get it, so Lorelai had better appreciate it. Lorelai does not appreciate it; she thought the sweater was a lighter blue. Luke serves Rory a slice of lemon meringue pie, and Rory says he's the only person she likes around here. "Right back at ya," Luke says. Wow, Lorelai and Luke's relationship is really heating up. Lorelai asks Rory for the latest news, and Rory tells her that she and Richie have to go to dinner at Emily and Richard's. She promises to take notes and pictures for Lorelai. "Do that," Lorelai says.
Cut to Rory's bedroom. The alarm says it's twelve-thirty, and Rory is soundly asleep. Lorelai shakes her awake to say that she wants to go to the dinner. She doesn't think it's fair that Richard and Emily get to meet Richie before Lorelai does. Rory says she didn't think Lorelai would want to go to Richard and Emily's place, not to mention the fact that Lorelai didn't seem very happy that Rory and Richie were dating in the first place. Lorelai says that if Richie is in Rory's life, then she wants to know him. Rory says that, in that case, she'd love for Lorelai to be at the dinner. "Good! You call Grandma for me," Lorelai says, and tries to beat a hasty retreat. The memory of sweater un-returning still fresh in her mind, Rory says that if Lorelai wants to come to dinner, she can call Emily herself. Lorelai says she can't, because she isn't talking to Emily. Rory says that if Lorelai goes to the dinner, she'll have to talk to Emily, so what's the difference? Lorelai says that she was planning on avoiding Emily for the entire dinner and concentrating on Richie. Rory won't back down, and kicks Lorelai out of the room so that she can sleep. Lorelai sulks out, turning the lights on and, then, when Rory yells at her, off as she exits. Hee. But I do agree with Rory here: Lorelai needs to be more aggressive and less passive. And there should be less making her daughter do her dirty work for her.
Rory has elected to wear a black suit to her internship. Looks kind of Lois Lane-y to me, Rory, but what do I know? Where I live, it's unusual to find anyone in the office wearing clothes that aren't fashionably disheveled. ["Yeah, me too." -- Wing Chun] Rory meets the receptionist, who has the voice of a bullfrog and the disposition to match. Rory talks a mile a minute trying to introduce herself, and Frogceptionist gives her a temporary ID and tells her to go talk to Harry. Rory is thrilled that she'll be getting a photo ID, saying she's never had one before. That's not necessarily true when you count her driver's license, passport, and Yale student ID, but I think she's talking about a job photo ID. I remember being similarly excited about my first job photo ID, until I saw the picture of me they used for it, which was taken at 7 in the morning on orientation day. I spent more time making sure it was turned around so that my picture wasn't showing than I did on my actual job. So expect disappointment, Rory! "I'll take good care of it!" she nerds. Frogceptionist takes a phone call, wisely making herself unavailable for any more of Rory's questions.
Rory walks into the office and starts calling out for Harry, thus ensuring that everyone will hate her before the first coffee break. Harry pops up, and Rory runs toward him with the eager gait of a small child. Chill, Rory. The jaded Harry gives Rory a very quick tour of the office, and Rory regrets not having a pencil with her to take this stuff down. You might want to bring writing utensils to your job, Rory. Come on now. Harry is called away, leaving Rory in the break room. She pours herself a cup of coffee, then uses her camera phone to take a picture of herself with it to the water cooler. Nerd!
Panic in the office! Mitch Rich has arrived to survey his newest acquisition for the first time. Harry is uncharacteristically impressed that Rory knows what Mitch looks like. Well, Harry, as Rory will tell you, Google searches are not that hard, and there is an image look-up function. Some guy introduces various office staff members to Mitch, and Mitch announces that he isn't looking to fire anyone or change things around, so people can relax about that. He calls for a meeting of all the department heads, and asks Rory if she's ready to shadow him. "Yes sir!" she says. "Bitch is sleeping with the boss's son," thinks the rest of the office. Rory turns to put her coffee down, and when she turns back, everyone is gone. Only Peter Pan's shadow did a worse job than Rory.
Lorelai reluctantly picks up the phone and dials. Emily answers on the first ring. Lorelai says nothing. Emily starts getting pissed, saying that "as far as perverted phone calls go, this is a very poor one." Leave it to Emily to berate her prank callers. Finally, Lorelai speaks. Emily is immediately concerned that something happened to Rory. But no, Lorelai just wanted to come to Friday Night Dinner. Ever perceptive, Emily says it's quite a coincidence that Lorelai would suddenly want to come to the same Friday Night Dinner Richie will be attending: "Do you really think it's going to work this way?" Emily lays out her demands: if Lorelai comes to this Friday Night Dinner, she has to come to all of them. No cherry picking. Lorelai says she isn't sure if she's available every Friday night. Emily snaps that if Lorelai shows up this Friday, she'd better be free for all Fridays in the foreseeable future. She hangs up on her. Why does Emily want Lorelai to come to weekly dinners when she so obviously hates her?
Back at the newspaper office, Rory runs to catch up to Mitch's brisk pace. Her feet aching, she takes her shoes off and holds them across her chest, like, don't try to make it any more conspicuous that you just took your shoes off than it already is, Rory. I'm surprised that someone so concerned with appropriate office attire would then blast it all to shit by running around barefoot, though. Rory tries to make small talk with Mitch, mentioning the four-minute mile he ran during his Yale days. Mitch obviously doesn't want to talk to her, and doesn't appreciate being bothered. He's whisked off into a meeting room, and the door closes on Rory's face. Ha!
Rory scampers off to a nearby cubicle and calls Richie. "Help help help!" she says. Dude, I would've hung up on her right there, but, in a tone that suggests that he'd rather not know, Richie asks what's going on. Rory says she won the "Spaz of the Year" award. I agree. She tells Richie all the things she did wrong today, which include not knowing when to go to lunch and having to make do with just an Altoid. Art imitates life, it seems. Rory asks Richie to tell her something about Mitch that she can use to "connect" with him. Richie says he doesn't know anything. "This is important to me, [Richie]," Rory says. Richie sighs and tells Rory that Mitch likes jazz and working late. He doesn't like doubletalk, and Rory makes a concerned expression upon hearing this, possibly confusing "doubletalk" with "talking at double the rate of normal people." If Mitch doesn't like outdated pop-culture references, Rory is SCREWED. Lastly, Mitch drinks decaf after 4 because of his high blood pressure. "That's almost something," ungrateful Rory says as she writes it down. Richie says that Rory will do fine and tells her to stop worrying. Rory says she just doesn't want Mitch to be disappointed in her. Richie says that her name would have to be Richie for that. Sounds like a sensitive subject to me, Rory! Maybe you should stop bringing it up? But then you'd have to actually notice and care about the feelings of other people, so I guess not.
Luke serves Lorelai a dinner of soft-shell crab amandine on a bed of wild rice. Wow. Hang on to that, Lorelai. Gourmet food more than makes up for the unshaven-ness and flannel-and-baseball-cap uniform. Just as Lorelai and Luke are about to enjoy dinner together like a real couple, her phone rings. It's Richard. A client of his contacted him earlier today -- a client who owns boutique inns. He heard that a cover story about the Dragonfly is coming out in the nextAmerican Travel. Uh oh! Lorelai places, like, a finger over the phone (surely that works better than the mute button) to tell Luke that the article is coming out after all, and then goes back to Richard. He says that no one has actually read the article (phew!), but that the client wants to take a meeting with Lorelai. "I assume he wants to offer you some sort of job," Richard says, adding that it probably includes travel. Lorelai says she obviously already has a job. Not listening, Richard asks Lorelai if she travels. Lorelai says the liquor store is pretty far away. Richard doesn't appreciate the humor. He tells Lorelai to call his office tomorrow morning for the contact info. "I'm quite proud of you, Lorelai," he concludes.
Lorelai hangs up. Luke says he's glad that the article went to press, and doubts that things could get worse between Lorelai and Emily. Lorelai tells Luke about the possible job offer, and he says that would be "crazy." Lorelai just bought the inn, after all. Lorelai agrees: "I'm happy with what I've got." Luke thinks for a minute, possibly about what Dean told him a few episodes back, and then says that Lorelai should meet with the client. At the very least, she'll get a contact in the INN-dustry. Oh, I'm good.
Emily says she noticed that Beatrice, our newest maid, put fragrant lilies on the dining-room table. "Would you like to eat dinner with fragrant lilies in the room?" she asks in a fakely sweet tone. "Yes!" says Beatrice, smiling. "Well then, you're INSANE!" Emily snaps. Beatrice is crestfallen. Here is where I went from really looking forward to seeing Emily in action for the first time to really not liking her. I thought she'd be this lovably snarky matriarch figure -- cold on the outside but secretly very caring and warm -- but it turns out that she's just a hateful bitch. Emily orders Beatrice to put the fragrant lilies in the living room and bring the peonies into the dining room. "Yes ma'am," says Beatrice, sounding so sad and lost. Richard enters and says that the room looks lovely. Emily says they're having roast beef for dinner tonight, then gets all worried that Richie might be a vegetarian. "His grandfather owned ten thousand head of cattle," says Richard, who has apparently been doing some Toogle searches of his own. "I sincerely doubt it." says Richard I don't get the reasoning there; my grandmother used to own a dog, and I have a fairly strict personal policy of not eating dogs.
Richard brings up the fact that the Rich family owns property on Martha's Vineyard. He thinks it's about time the Gilmores acquired their own family compound. "A place on Cape Cod!" Emily says, adding that Cape Cod has sandier beaches than the Vineyard, and children just love to run and play on sandy beaches. How would she know that? I don't think Emily was ever a child. Cape Cod -- a.k.a the flexed arm of Massachusetts -- is THE summer vacation destination for all of New England, although I don't think it's as popular outside of there, so I'm impressed that the writers knew enough to give it a mention. It would be really funny if Richard and Emily built their compound in Provincetown. The doorbell rings. Before she answers it, Emily tells Richard to "imagine [Richie's] blond hair and [Rory's] blue eyes on a little baby." "Incomparable!" Richard shouts, positively filled with delight at the thought of a little Aryan baby. Good to see that the elder Gilmores are going into this dinner with some realistic expectations and healthy hopes, though.
Emily doesn't even try to hide her disappointment when she sees Lorelai at the door instead of Rory and Richie. She orders Beatrice to take Lorelai's things, and walks into the dining room. When Lorelai follows, Emily asks Richard to come in and "sit with Lorelai." Lorelai says she is perfectly capable of sitting by herself, since "[she's] been sitting without any help since [she] was two and a half." But Richard brings Lorelai into the sitting room anyway. He asks her if she talked to that client, and Lorelai says they have a meeting set up for the day. Wait -- isn't tomorrow Saturday? I could have sworn they said the dinner was Friday. Emily calls Richard back into the dining room. Lorelai promises not to stick her fingers in any sockets while she is without supervision.
Richie and Rory arrive. Richie chivalrously opens the car door for Rory, and shows off the gifts he bought for the elder Gilmores. "Well played, Huntzberger," says Rory, and the thought that she didn't give anyone any gifts when she ate at the Huntzberger house never crosses her mind. Sounding worried, Richie asks Rory if her mother will be cool. Rory says Lorelai is the coolest person ever, and rings the doorbell. As they wait for it to be answered, Richie shows off the presents he brought: chocolates for Emily, cigars for Richard, and some old rich lady's silver lighter for later. Before Rory can find out what the lighter is for, Emily and Richard answer the door and usher the couple inside. Emily pronounces them "perfect," and Richard agrees. Richie says he has bad split ends, so he's not perfect. Could be gay, though. I'm just saying. Emily and Richard laugh loud and hard at Richie's witticism, and adore his gifts to them.
The four make their way into the living room, where Lorelai sits, not bothering to stand up and say hi. To be fair, it's not easy for her to get a word in, what with Richard and Emily fawning all over the lapels on Richie's jacket. ["They don't comment on his pleated slacks, but my sister and I sure as hell do. There's a little evidence for his not being gay, anyway." -- Wing Chun] Finally, Rory greets her mother, and Emily jumps in to introduce Lorelai and Richie to each other, even though Lorelai points out that they've already met. Emily takes drink orders. Richie asks for a neat scotch, and of course, Emily "loves a man who drinks his scotch neat." Lorelai gives Rory a look that I believe is meant to express how exasperated she is at Emily's sucking up, not disapproval over Richie's alcoholic drink choice. Rory requests a club soda. Emily says that Rory is "so demure." Richie agrees that Rory is "the demurest." Richard scampers off to get the drinks, and Emily asks Lorelai if she'll be having her usual sidecar. Lorelai says that her drink is a martini, not a sidecar. I did a search through the recaps to see if this was true, and the only mention of "sidecar" I could find was about the ones that go on motorcycles, which, by the way, I believe are underused in today's society. Emily doesn't believe Lorelai, but Lorelai says that every time she's had a drink at the Gilmore abode, it's been a martini. "I could've sworn you were a sidecar girl," says Emily, like, what the hell is a "sidecar girl," and what is Emily's deal with the damn sidecars?
Rory tells Lorelai that Emily and Richard are "very taken" with Richie's lapels. "They look fine to me," says Lorelai. "You'll have to excuse Lorelai, [Richie]," says Emily, happy to have another opportunity to put her daughter down. "It takes a certain eye to be aware of this type of thing." Richard comes over with Rory and Richie's drinks, and walks off to prepare Lorelai's. There is some more discussion over whether Lorelai has a vodka or a gin martini, and Emily just can't let this go. Lorelai changes the subject and asks Richie where he lives on campus. He says his dorm is about "ninety kropogs" away from Rory's, and Richard lets out a huff of delight at hearing someone use such a Yale-specific unit of measurement. A kropog, Richie explains to clueless outcast Lorelai, is based on the height of a kid named "Kropog." Elis on the forums say that this was made up for the show, and based on the MIT unit of measurement named after a kid named Smoot, which no one at MIT even uses except to measure the length of the Harvard Bridge. So it's kind of weird that Richie would just drop it into a regular conversation like that.
With all this kropog talk, Richard forgot to get Lorelai's martini. Emily volunteers to get it. I wouldn't put it past her to drop an Ex-Lax in there, just to embarrass Lorelai even more. Rory requests that the topic of conversation be altered to something non-Yale, so that everyone may take part in it. "Nonsense!" squeals Emily. "There's nothing better to talk about than Yale!" She hands Lorelai her martini, and it's got an onion in it. Lorelai says she requested an olive. Emily says she thought Lorelai said onion. If I were Lorelai, at this point I'd just shut up and start drinking the alcohol.
Cut to sometime later; now tennis is the topic of conversation. Lorelai sits on the couch, silent, her empty martini glass in her hand. Richie gives Emily racquet advice and says he'd be happy to set her up with a guy who makes the ceramic racquets that Pete Sampras swears by. Emily is delighted. Beatrice comes in and announces that dinner is ready. Lorelai asks if booze will be served at dinner, since she hasn't gotten a "kropog of gin" since her initial martini. "A kropog is a unit of distance, Lorelai, not volume," says Richard, looking all annoyed that Lorelai would make such a stupid mistake. Emily snaps that there will be wine with dinner, just like there always is: "Honestly! You're acting as if you've never been here!" Well, Emily, you acted like Lorelai had never been there first, with your sidecar crap.
Richard and Emily leave to check on the dinner. Lorelai, Richie, and Rory remain and try to make awkward conversation, then give up and head for the dining room. On the way, Richie takes the lighter out of his jacket and exchanges it with a small antique sewing box. Rory asks what he's doing, and Richie explains, as Lorelai listens, that as part of the Life and Death Brigade, he steals a knick-knack from one "rich person's" house and then replaces it with the knick-knack he stole from the last "rich person's" house. He's been doing it for years, and they never notice. "You're crazy!" says Rory, smiling because everything Richie does is totally awesome, up to and including stealing from her family members.
Rory, Lorelai, and Richie take their places at the table. Emily comes out and immediately notices that her sewing box is gone. She accuses Beatrice of stealing as Richie and Rory sit there looking guilty. Awkward. Finally, Lorelai speaks up and says she found the sewing box. She takes it from Richie and tells her parents that she just found it on the table behind the centerpiece, neglecting to mention that it was in Richie's pocket. Beatrice smiles in relief and is yelled at. Lorelai exchanges looks with Rory and Richie, the latter of whom doesn't really look like he cares all that much that a maid was almost fired because of what he did and his apparent refusal to own up to it. It's good to know, though, that apparently we can go to the Rich manor and steal that Velazquez, as long as we replace it with a paint-by-numbers of similar size. It's all in good, clean, rich fun!
After the commercial, dinner has been consumed, but Emily and Richard are still eating out of Richie's hand, telling him he's sure to be a journalistic super-talent just like his father. Emily says Richie and Rory are a "power couple," and the discussion turns to Rory's internship, and then to the Rich compound on Martha's Vineyard, and how gorgeous a spot it is for weddings. Emily thinks that Cape Cod is also a great place for a wedding. Richie agrees. Emily and Richard are thrilled to get Richie's approval of their proposed compound spot. Rory says she likes what she's seen "in pictures" of Cape Cod, making her possibly the only person in Connecticut who hasn't been there. "Mom, did you get a job at the Cape Cod chamber of commerce?" Lorelai asks. "NO!" Emily snaps, and then turns to talk to people she doesn't hate with the fire of a thousand suns. She starts hinting around about kids and how they like Cape Cod, and Rory looks very uncomfortable. Lorelai tries to take the focus off of Rory and Richie by saying that she thinks internships are a Communist plot. "Have you lost your mind?" says Emily. Lorelai does a quick check and reports that it's still "sloshing around up there." At this point, Richie says he has an "early day" tomorrow, so he and Rory should be going. They say their goodbyes, although Lorelai doesn't get to say much before Emily scolds her for keeping him from turning in for his "early day" tomorrow.
Richard, Emily, Richie, and Rory walk to the door as Lorelai sits at the dining room table and sulks. Off-screen, we hear Emily and Richard do some more sucking up, complimenting Richie's use of email for communication purposes and his tiny dick overcompensation -- I mean, "sports car." And then, Richie and Rory are gone and it's just Lorelai and her parents. Lorelai remarks that on the National Geographic documentaries, people are usually "sweaty" after a "mating ritual," but surprisingly, Emily and Richard are "powder-dry." It's because Emily's icy demeanor keeps the room so cool, I'd say. Emily and Richard ask Lorelai what her problem is with the Rory and Richie match, which they think is perfect. Lorelai says that Rory and Richie are young and having fun, and tha tthey don't need Emily and Richard forcing concepts like weddings and children on them. Emily thinks the real problem is that Lorelai just "isn't comfortable around people like [Richie]. He's not your type. That's well-documented." Lorelai says there's no need to insult Luke. Richard and Emily both feign innocence. Fed up, Lorelai says that when Rory ate at the Rich mansion, Richie's family "treated her like trash." Richard says he doubts that, considering that Mitch gave Rory her internship. Lorelai says that was to buy her off. Richard points out that there's no money involved, and furthermore, Rory's getting an internship through Richie is the same as Lorelai's getting that meeting through Richard. True.
Finally, Lorelai blows up and says that Richie's "early day" thing was just an excuse to get the hell away from them, and furthermore, Richie isn't as perfect as Emily and Richard think. For instance, Lorelai caught him and Rory -- and then she pauses to think of a way to phrase things that won't make her daughter look bad and comes up with "kissing." Of course, Emily and Richard think that's great. "I never thought of you as a prude," says Emily. "Paranoid, but not a prude," adds Richard. Lorelai plays her trump card: "He stole your sewing box." Emily and Richard aren't hearing it, though.
We're back at the internship. Rory waits for Mitch to get off the elevator. She walks alongside him and waits for a break in his conversation with some newspaper people so that she can offer him some coffee. Mitch checks his watch, but Rory says that this is decaf. He's quite pleased, and they all walk into a meeting room. Rory stands outside, but Mitch tells her to get on in there. It's too bad that any progress we've seen Rory make in this internship came because of her connection with Richie, and not because she is actually good at this.
Lorelai and Sookie try out Manny's food. Sookie says that with that article now coming out, she wants to make sure the Inn's food stays "top-notch." Lorelai says that the guy she met with has been after her with job offers. He wants to buy the Inn or at least invest in it, and Lorelai and Sookie could become consultants and travel around looking at other Inns. "We could travel and be bossy!" Sookie says, adding that they could hang out in France topless. Please, no, Sookie. Lorelai says her dad used to travel all over the world for business, and she always wished she could do it, too. Expense accounts! Travel luggage! The possibilities are endless...until they stop, with Sookie saying she could never leave with Jackson and two kids to take care of. Besides, she has plenty of opportunities to be bossy without having to move a muscle, as we've seen. "My life is here," she says; "but you could go." After all, Lorelai's kid is in college, so why not? "What's stopping you?" "Well..." says Lorelai. And then Sookie starts carrying on about snap peas, leaving Lorelai to sit there and think about travel luggage and expense accounts, but not lonely boyfriends who cook soft-shell crab.