Luke's. Kirk's seated at a table, calling for everyone to return their ribbons. Two Luke lovers return theirs. Luke begs Kirk to stop shouting my last name and put everything away. Kirk informs us that Luke and Lorelai have reconciled. "I know, Kirk," Luke says. "I was there." Kirk says it's time for the town to start healing post-reconciliation. He adds that in his case he literally needs to heal, since he got an inch of his "chest flesh" in one of those pins. He then screams Lulu's name from inside the diner. Lulu's outside, proudly wearing her pink ribbon. She won't take hers off because she likes pink. Kirk screams that this is bigger than her love of pink. Lulu heaves herself, shouting, "NO!" and runs away from the diner. Im having a similar reaction here in this coffee shop, since they've just started playing that damn same Norah Jones song it appears we legally have to hear every single day. ["Better that than that horrendous new Jennifer Lopez single, with the 'Oh-oh-oh, o-OH-oh-oh,' which gets played at least once every single time I go to the gym." -- Wing Chun]
Lorelai enters as Kirk leaves, asking Luke if he just saw all that. Luke says Stars Hollow needs a giant butterfly net store. Lorelai has brought a Weston's coffee into Luke's. He still kisses her a "welcome." Just as I noticed the cup, so did Luke. He becomes outraged that Lorelai brought someone else's coffee into his shop. It's like she has sex with him using Taylor's penis. Whoa, that's the grossest thing I've ever written here in these recaps. I apologize to all of you. Luke calls today the Day of Their Reconciliation. Quick, mark your calendars. Is it Friday? Lorelai loves Weston's coffee because they make the fancy-pants coffees with whipped cream and caramel swirls, and with the extra letters "c-h-i-n-o." Luke calls her drink disgusting; Lorelai prefers to call it "lover." Kirk opens the diner door and rests against the frame, panting, clutching Lulu's be-ribboned sweater in his hand. "Man, that was hard," he says. "She must have stretched first." Kirk tosses Lulu's sweater into the discarded pink ribbon box. We try out a calmer, gentler, strummier strummy-strummy (minus la) as we fade to opening credits.
Rory and Logan walk through a darkened, mostly abandoned Yale, post-date. Rory says that Logan's snoring tipper her off that he wasn't a big fan of the theatre. Logan corrects her; he wasn't snoring, he was groaning. He says that all plays are painful. Rory tells him he's missing out, because she and Lorelai recently saw Caroline, or Change, and it was amazing. She tries to school him on who Tony Kushner is, but Logan informs Rory that he's familiar with the man: his mom plays Canasta with him regularly. Rory calls Logan's life "magical." My opinion of the fake Tony Kushner has plummeted. Rory says she'd better get to her Mah Jongg with Mamet, but Logan suggests ice cream instead. He pulls Rory along, despite her protests due to her pretty high heels. Rory doesn't seem to carry a purse. Logan sure does pull Rory by the arm often.
“ A photographer is coming to snap shots of the inn for some travel magazine that has rated them one of the top ten inns in Connecticut. Having stayed at the Red Lion Inn in New Haven, I can honestly say the competition wasn't that stiff. ”
Logan has the keys to the cafeteria. Rory, just as I would, freaks out that they'll get in trouble for being in the cafeteria after it's closed. She asks if they can get suspended for this. Logan tells her to relax, and that, for tonight, this magical room filled with locked-up, non-cooked food is all hers. Who wants ketchup cups? Rory loves seeing the cereal station completely full. There's a hint of the old Rory -- the one who frets over getting in trouble and geeks out over a plastic container filled with Rice Chex. Rory: "I KNEW they had Cocoa Puffs!" Logan tells Rory she should go crazy and have cereal and ice cream. Rory pours herself a bowl of Cocoa Puffs and looks very happy. Logan tries to head to the ice cream, but Rory wants to find the swipe machine so she can log this meal against her account. Logan can't believe how square his ladyfriend can be: "Trust me, with all the money my family's donated to this school, they can afford to be out of a few Cocoa Puffs." Rory smiles and says, "This is fun." Logan: "You're an easy girl to please." That sentence only needed to be four words long. He kisses her and heads to the kitchen. Rory comes back to leave a few dollars on the Cocoa Puffs box. "Ace, come on!" Logan shouts.
Dragonfly. Lorelai plays manager for a few lines, telling people we don't know how to do the jobs that don't really exist. Pretty blue top. Lorelai teases Sookie for putting out cookies and cupcakes because a photographer is coming to snap shots of the inn for some travel magazine that has rated them one of the top ten inns in Connecticut. Having stayed at the Red Lion Inn in New Haven, I can honestly say the competition wasn't that stiff. Sookie can barely move from behind her pregnancy belly. This can't be the same belly they gave her last time, can it? Lorelai confesses she moved all the furniture in the rooms last night four times before she settled on the same configuration she had in the first place. Lorelai compliments the dining room and notes that Sookie has put a cake on every table. Hey, did this episode start yet? I'm just checking. Still waiting on the plot.
In the...study/book/library/sitting/waiting/Digger room. Lorelai asks where all of their books have gone. There are plenty of books in the shelves, so she must mean a specific Readers Digest kind of special leather-bound collection. Sookie suggests that the guests have been swiping them. Oh, no, Sookie. Are you stealing books to escape motherhood, too? You are crying out for help, girl. It's because Lorelai started making you wear that uniform, isn't it? I understand. Lorelai isn't happy to see that her books have been replaced with Clifford the Big Red Dog and five copies of He's Just Not That Into You. Sookie: "We've been Airplane Booked." Lorelai calls some guy named Eddie, hands him the five self-helps and one kiddie book, and tells him to get rid of them. Where's he supposed to take them? Lorelai says she'll raid Rory's books tonight to refill the shelves. Poor Rory's gonna be livid when she comes home to find her vandalizedHowl has been stolen.
“ Michel: 'There's this place on Sunset Boulevard? A Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf? Everybody there talks exactly like me!' That is hilarious and pretty much true, except that everybody there is Persian, and smokes really stinky cigars. ”
Michel wanders into the room holding two big shopping bags, wearing sunglasses and a green blazer over a t-shirt. "There he is!" he smiles. "Who missed Michel?" Lorelai calls it a trick question. Sookie asks how he enjoyed California. Michel: "Oh, you know. It is insanity." Hee. I love Michel. He asks, "What is different about me?" Sookie guesses its the sunglasses he's wearing indoors. Michel corrects her, informing her that he's wearing "eyewear," and that everyone in Los Angeles wears pairs and pairs of eyewear. Actually, we're wearing sunglasses. And it's because the sun is crazy bright out here. The air is so filthy that the sun bounces off all the little smog particles in the air and it hurts to have your eyes open because the air is filled with crap and the sun is glinting off every single molecule around you and if you dont wear sunglasses and take Claritin on the hour you can't even open your puffy, watery eyes. HOL-lee-wood! Dun-nuh-nuh-NA-NA-NA-NA HOL-lee-wood! And did I mention the rain? We're weather babies. Michel's t-shirt features a picture of a palm tree, and it says "Palm Tree" under it. God, that's hysterical. Michel says he belongs in Los Angeles, where everybody is thin and gorgeous. You mean like Stars Hollow? Hmm. Michel must not have gone to the Farmer's Market. Michel then gives a big-ol' shout-out to my old Coffee Bean, saying, "There's this place on Sunset Boulevard? A Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf? Everybody there talks exactly like me!" That is hilarious and pretty much true, except that everybody there is Persian, and smokes really stinky cigars. It's the most celebrity-spotting Coffee Bean to the one on Beverly and Robertson. Michel also got some Botox from Dr. Woo. "She's a genius; everyone goes there." He also got some veneers from Nick Lachey's dentist. All Michel needs is a dog in a bag and he's good to go. Part of me wonders if this is what Al Lowe, Omar G, and AB Chao think I'm like since I moved from Texas.
Michel shakes his bags and announces that he has gifts. "Oh! The shopping out there! Unbelievable!" He mispronounces Rodeo Drive, which Michel would never, ever do, unless he was actually shopping on Rodeo Drive, which boasts the place we like to call Targhetto. Michel has brought Lorelai a smog globe: "They are so funny in California." I'm starting to think Michel did go to the Farmer's Market. Michel brought Sookie He's Just Not That Into You. Michel says he "heard" it's a fabulous book, "and so true." Ha. Don't tell Jackson. Michel says his best news is still to come. Lorelai asks if he got his boobs done by Pamela Anderson's guy. Michel says no, but he did meet that man at The Coffee Bean. Hee. Michel then starts talking about the Farmer's Market. I didn't see this episode last night because the Lakers pre-empted it, so I am watching it now, while recapping, for the first time. I read the recaplet, but that's all I knew going into this recap, so I had no idea Michel was going to discuss the Farmer's Market. Hilarity. Because I knew he was going to go on The Price Is Right, so I was going to make a joke about how it's amazing that he got on the show without being at the Farmer's Market, and now here it is. And I want an Ultimate from The Coffee Bean right now.
“ Lorelai says she'll leave Luke a message letting him know his chances of getting lucky. Hey! Kirk's trying to eat around here. ”
Anyway, Michel was asked to be a contestant on The Price Is Right. Sookie and Lorelai are impressed. Michel says he was so stunned. So am I, because I've had friends who made it a mission to get on the show. It's actually quite an ordeal, from what I understand. Michel says he had never considered going on a game show before, but since he was finished with this Bubble Tea, he figured why not? Haaaaa. Sookie then echoes what I just said, because somehow I wrote this scene in the past and just don't remember it, saying that Jackson's cousin had to go through quite the rigmarole to get on the show: getting up at the crack of dawn, standing in line for hours with all the tourists, and then pretending to be a superfan, screaming and squealing, wearing t-shirts that said, "Pick me, Bob!" Michel's caught in his web of lies. Michel says he jumped a little, but didn't wear a t-shirt. Lorelai asks what Nick Lachey's teeth guy would say. Michel: "Make fun if you want, but I walked away the winner of over a hundred thousand dollar [sic] of cash and prizes!" Instead of a "Congratulations!" or "So when's it on?" or "You rock!," Lorelai immediately asks, "Then what's with the cheap gifts?" Sookie complains that the smog globe isn't all that smoggy. Michel gets up and leaves the room, moaning, "Why do I talk to you? Why?" Oh, Michel. I'm so glad they gave you such a funny scene, even if it's only written for the benefit of a single city. Actual conversation going on to me: "I mean, this morning on my way to Pilates, I saw my car was almost out of gas. I mean, my life is crazy right now!" I am not kidding. Then she goes, "At least you get paid for what you do. I really need to find a way to make some money at what I do." I love this weirdo town. (She says, as she gets paid to watch television and type long Word documents about what she thinks as she watches television...) Lorelai leaves to grab dinner, saying she'll be back after to finish setting up. Sookie settles in with a book based on a show based on a Post-It.
Luke's. Kirk has followed a lady into the restroom in order to get her pink ribbon. Luke can't believe how quickly Lorelai wolfed down her burger. Lorelai says she only has fifteen minutes before she has to be back at the inn. Luke worries that she'll get sick from eating so quickly. Lorelai smiles and says that her sickness will reminder her of him. "It'll be romantic." Kirk notes he gets "romantic nausea" all the time. Lorelai asks to be hit with some boysenberry pie. Luke says they're out. Lorelai is indignant, especially since she mistakenly thinks she told him to save her the last piece of boysenberry pie because she's back to being Luke's girlfriend and when she's Luke's girlfriend the world revolves very tightly around her unpredictable whims and desires. Turns out Lorelai left a message on Luke's cell phone concerning the pie slice. Luke has no idea how to work his voicemail. Lorelai laughs at him and grabs the phone. She tells him the cell phone is powerful, wonderful, and will change his life. Lorelai programs her number into his speed dial. She makes herself number one because she's number one. Perhaps voicemail should be number one. Ah, forget it. Who's going to call Luke other than Lorelai, anyway? She calls herself and says hello. Luke grabs his own cell phone to tell her over the phone, "No cell phones in the diner." Lorelai offers to put the cell phone on vibrate. Luke says her fifteen minutes is up. He hands her a donut for the road and says he'll pick her up at 8 on Sunday. Lorelai says she'll leave him a message letting him know his chances of getting lucky. Hey! Kirk's trying to eat around here. Lorelai asks Kirk how the ribbon collecting is going. "Why do you get him started?" Luke grumps. Kirk says they're near the finish line. Lorelai wants to know who's winning, even though Luke says it's not a contest and doesn't care. He says he knows Lorelai's winning because she's a total Townie who does all the stupid Townie events and has a Townie Kewpie Doll daughter. Kirk tells Lorelai: "You're kicking his ass." Lorelai shouts in triumph and asks for a final tally, because the loser must buy dinner on Sunday.
“ Kirk tells Luke that Lulu's his first real girlfriend: 'I had an imaginary girlfriend once, but she left me.' Left him with what? Nothing. Ha! Hire me. ”
Rory's driving her damn Prius when she answers her cell phone. Lorelai wants to go shopping together to buy a Getting-Back-Together-With-Luke dress for her Getting-Back-Together-With-Luke dinner on Sunday night. She asks if they can go to the "new place" where Rory got "the scarf with the bows." As if it's possible to identify one scarf out of all the scarfs we've seen in the past two years. They agree to meet at 10; Lorelai's bringing the coffee. She asks what Rory's doing tonight, since it sounds like she's driving. Lorelai, like the rest of us, has no idea it's Friday. Rory's on her way to dinner with the Gilmores so they'll keep paying her Dating-Logan bill. Actually, Lorelai's just kidding, but wants Rory to have to say where she's going because that's fun for Lorelai. Lorelai laughs at Rory for driving the "Road to Hellville." She tells Rory to enjoy her "glazed woodcock with a side of truffled goose head." Heh. Rory is wearing too much blush as she hangs up the phone.
Luke's. Luke tells Kirk to finish up his meal so he can close up. Kirk assumes that Luke has plans with Lorelai tonight. Luke says that Lorelai is working tonight, and that he's not seeing her until Sunday. Kirk says it sounds nice, having a date: "You guys probably spend a lot of time together, huh?" A lot of time together. Kirk also assumes that Luke and Lorelai spend the night at each other's houses a lot. Luke tells Kirk his cookies are on the house and asks him to leave. Kirk's not going anywhere. He tells Luke that Lulu's his first real girlfriend: "I had an imaginary girlfriend once, but she left me." Left him with what? Nothing. Ha! Hire me. Kirk says he wishes he and Lulu could have what Luke and Lorelai have. Kirk reminds Luke that he lives with his mother. Luke wonders how he became part of a conversation he was completely avoiding. Kirk's mother is allergic to Lulu. The second Lulu walks into the room, Kirk's mom starts coughing, choking, her throat closing up. Just like in Moonstruck. Lulu has tried everything, changing every cream, salve, and balm she applies to her body: "She's actually kind of a mess right now, but nothing seems to work." Kirk doesn't want his mother choking three times a week, so he considered constructing a separate entrance for Lulu so that his mother is never subjected to Lulu's wake. But that'll cost $40,000, because he'd have to break through a bearing wall. Luke informs Kirk that he's a grown man and that this is ridiculous. He tells Kirk to change his living situation. "My mother won't move out," Kirk says. "I've asked." Luke tells Kirk to move out, get a life, get some independence. This won't end well. Luke tells Kirk that if he wants a real relationship with Lulu, he's going to have to "grow up" and "be a man." Kirk takes a second before he says, "I'm not sure I understand what you're saying to me." Luke says he's supplied the Lincoln Logs; Kirk just has to build the cabin. Luke turns the lights out in the diner and tells Kirk to lock up when he's done. Kirk takes a bite of cookie and then says he hopes Luke's not talking about a real cabin, because that would be really expensive. Luke shouts from deep in his room, "Night, Kirk!" This really won't end well.
“ 'She got her filthy diner owner back. What is the problem?' I'm guessing Emily is calling the diner filthy and not the owner. Regardless, though, it seems that Richard and Emily's hatred of Luke is getting way out of character. ”
Emily's. The doorbell rings. Richard practically bolts down the hall, shouting, "They're here!" He tells Emily to hurry. Richard cannot believe the size of the tote bag Rory has brought with her. It contains all of the recent issues of the Yale Daily News, her bylines highlighted. Emily walks up, beaming, waiting to be praised with lavish gushing from Rory for getting Lorelai and Luke back together. But Rory's still pretty short with her grandmother. They head into the living room. Oh, pretty dress, Rory. Emily's newest help asks if she should put the salads out now. Emily scolds Olympia for not reading everything she wrote down for her, including when to serve salads. Rory asks if someone else is coming, other than the three of them, since Lorelai isn't coming. This appears to be news to Richard and Emily. Before Richard can explain the confusion, Emily interrupts to say this is another one of Olympia's mistakes: "Olympia, it was three for dinner, not four." Emily turns back to Rory and Richard. "Well, she's fired," she says. Emily tells Richard to take Rory to the living room so that she can clear that silly fourth place herself.
But Emily doesn't clear the place right away. She stares at the plate, the silverware, and the napkin and thinks to herself, bracing against a chair as we go to commercial. ["I wonder what Luke's dreaming about right now." -- Stac(e)y]
As they walk Rory to the door, Richard and Emily tell Rory how she can reheat her goose leftovers. Rory says goodbye and leaves. Richard says it was a pleasant evening. Emily: "Really? What dinner were you at?" Richard says they weren't sure Lorelai was coming. But Emily says she was sure: "I don't understand it. Why wasn't she here?" Richard suggests that Lorelai had something to do, but Emily doesn't know what that means. Richard tells her, and then Emily says she knows what it means, she just doesn't know what it means: "She got her filthy diner owner back. What is the problem?" I'm guessing Emily is calling the diner filthy and not the owner. Regardless, though, it seems that Richard and Emily's hatred of Luke is getting way out of character. At this point, you'd think they'd be happy Lorelai was interested in somebody at all, never mind the guy who's been more of a dad to Rory than anybody has been her entire life. I'd think they'd like him a lot for that, particularly since Rory loves him, and they love Rory. Richard wonders if it's possible that Luke and Lorelai didn't get back together: "Perhaps it didn't happen. Maybe he didn't understand what you were telling him to do." Emily says she spelled it out for him, speaking slowly, so there's no way he didn't understand. Richard says it's possible Luke didn't do it, since he's not the most "take-charge" kind of guy, adding that he never did follow through on the franchise. (Thank you for revisiting that storyline, writers!) Emily is furious that Luke didn't go to Lorelai after she specifically told him to. Actually, I'm surprised Luke went back to Lorelai at all, seeing as how I'd imagine the last thing he'd ever want to do is something someone told him to do, But he does do anything a woman with the last name of Gilmore orders, so I suppose it's no surprise he asked how high seconds after Emily said "Jump." Emily calls Luke an imbecile. Richard tells Emily she gave it her best shot. He says he's sure Lorelai will come along eventually, and then they won't have to deal with Luke and Lorelai as a couple. He goes to freshen Emily's drink. The woman who made my coffee just shouted at one of her customers, "Lick my nutsack, asshole!" Now that's a filthy diner owner.