We open at Friday-night dinner. Lorelai is very unhappy to find out that tonight's appetizer is escargot. Richard impatiently tells Lorelai that "they" taste like garlic and butter. Lorelai thinks that food shouldn't have pronouns. Except we call food "it" all the time, right? Lorelai worries that the main course will be roadkill, and since she will only allow one gross-out food per meal, she's holding off on the snails. Richard tells Emily that they should strike escargot off the Friday-night dinner menus. Emily absently says that Sweetie loved escargot. Sweetie is a longtime friend of Emily's who passed away the day before. They are dropping like flies in Stars Hollow these days. ["And Hartford, where they actually are at this moment. I KNOW YOU JUST DO THIS TO IRRITATE ME, PAMIE." -- Wing Chun] Emily tells Richard that the funeral will be Sunday. Lorelai asks if Sweetie was a nickname. It was -- her real name was Melinda. Lorelai asks how they got "Sweetie" out of "Melinda." Emily repeats that it's a nickname. Lorelai asks how she got her nickname. Emily: "She was sweet. That's the story." Lorelai is disappointed, so Emily asks what kind of story about her recently departed friend would amuse her. Lorelai says this isn't all about amusing herself, which it obviously is. Emily launches into a lengthy tale about Sweetie's family history. They were so poor that the five kids slept in a hollowed-out tree trunk. Anyway, they created a successful candy shop from the ground up, and hence Sweetie's nickname. Richard realizes that he's got a conflict with the funeral, since he and Digger have golf plans with a client. He asks if it's important for him to be there. Emily snarks, "Not important at all." Richard asks Emily to send his condolences. Lorelai jumps when she thinks one of her snails is still alive. She's pretty sure it moved from the radish to the other side of the plate.
Luke's. Lane is busy serving everyone, and Kirk is busy complaining about some fishy-tasting eggs. He asks if it was possible that his eggs were cooked near or with fish. Lane pretty much calls Kirk a paranoid idiot. Lorelai runs into this incredibly busy diner and barks out her order: "I need something with cheese!" Amazingly, the earth doesn't stop spinning on its axis in reply. Kirk tells Lorelai to smell his eggs. Lorelai declines the offer. Lorelai wants Luke to make her a breakfast quesadilla right now, but Luke's outside on a park bench, arguing with Nicole. Kirk brags that his girlfriend taught him to read lips so that they can have quiet time without losing conversation. He offers to translate. Nicole says, "Hardwood sponge is the authority of the hostile biographer." Then Luke responds, "Just phone cords to original samovars." When Lorelai points out that their conversation makes no sense, Kirk figures that the couple is on to them and have switched to a secret code. Kirk says that Luke's headed back, since he got up and said, "Feel your taters." Lorelai tries to correct Kirk, but Kirk is adamant about his translation. Lane brings by a new plate for Kirk, since she found out that his eggs actually were cooked in the fish pan. "I don't know why everybody in this town always thinks I'm crazy," says Kirk as he takes his seat.
At the Yale newspaper room, Doyle is insinuating that Rory is plagiarizing her latest article, due to the use of the common phrases "small band of followers" and "rain-soaked highway." Doyle says that in this post-Stephen Glass world, he'd rather not have Tobey Maguire play him in the movie version of the Yale newspaper scandal, which means he's totally already pictured the script in his head and is hoping one of his grunts slips up. Doyle is fed up with his staff. He looks around the room and sees people working on their Anthropology papers, Xeroxing their phone bills, and looking very well-rested. Nobody spell-checks or fact-checks: "This is the breeding ground for the Jayson Blair!" Doyle storms away, ordering Rory to tidy up her desk. "And my month is done," says Glenn, sitting at the desk. Glenn tells Rory that he was Doyle's whipping boy for the past thirty days and he's glad to see it's Rory's turn now. Doyle scolds Rory for using the phrase "herd mentality," and storms off again. "Welcome to the dollhouse," says Glenn with a bit of amusement.
Sookie's. Lorelai and Sookie are trying to work on budgets, but Michel is busy trying to figure out how to record the Westminster Dog Show. He curses his local cable company, which doesn't offer happiness in canine form: "But please enjoy Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle twenty-four hours a day." Michel coos at the Chows until Lorelai and Sookie can't help giggling. Emily calls Lorelai's cell phone to deliver some bad news: Gran passed away last night. It was her heart. It was sudden, and unexpected. Lorelai asks how Richard is doing. Emily says he's completely fallen apart, from the moment they heard the news: "He's been almost incoherent." He's in his office with his Scotch, muttering about wanting some "turtleneck soup," something Gran used to make him. Emily's jacket matches the little sugar bowl/urn thing in front of her. It's distracting. Michel walks back to the table, talking. Sookie tries to get him to hush, quietly mouthing that Lorelai's grandmother has passed away. But Michel reads lips about as well as Kirk does, and eventually Lorelai just tells him, "Dead grandmother, Michel." Lorelai suggests that Emily Google "turtleneck soup." Emily gets a great line: "Can I? Can I Google it?" Lorelai asks Sookie about it, and Sookie quickly deduces that he probably means "mock turtle soup." Sookie is pretty sure she has a recipe for it somewhere, even though she's never tried to make it. The sugar bowl/urn has moved to the other side of the table at Emily's. Lorelai says she'll tell Rory, and will be there soon with the soup. Emily says she has a million things to do; Gran left very specific instructions as to how to deal with her burial. Lorelai hangs up and says she has to leave. Sookie says she's on the soup immediately. Michel asks if Lorelai needs a hug. Lorelai says she has to go call Rory, and asks Sookie to call her when the soup is ready. She asks Michel to take care of the papers and landscaping plans. She checks to make sure she has everything, and then asks Michel for the hug. He hugs her. They take a second, and then decide that was awkward, even though Michel's heart was in the right place. They agree never to hug again. Usually Sookie would do the hugging, but you know, she just had a baby, so she can't really do anything right now.
The minister Gran requested has retired, but Emily is on the phone, insistent that he perform the services. She answers the door to find Lorelai with a container of soup. Emily tells Lorelai to take the soup into the study and see if she can get Richard to eat. The scene cuts off in the middle of Emily's line, which is very strange indeed.
Richard is a mess, camped out on his couch, listening to old-timey records. Lorelai tells him she brought mock turtle soup. This sends Richard into tears, so Lorelai immediately hides the soup. She sits to him and asks about the music. Richard says that Gran wasn't much of a music lover, as she found it frivolous, but she liked this musician, Kay Keyser. Lorelai calls Kay a "she," until Richard corrects her. Lorelai says Kay's parents were mean. Richard dissolves into tears again as he calls his mother a saint. Lorelai hands him a tissue. Richard says he learned everything from Gran: "Life is a battle. And you either enter it armed or you surrender it immediately." That's what she told him on his tenth birthday; he never forgot it. Richard sits up, weeping. He says he has to deal with this regret he has. The last words they exchanged were in anger. He says he lost his temper and he was disrespectful. He cries as Lorelai says it was only a little fight. Richard says Gran raised him, taking care of him after his father died, and that he spoke to her as if he had owed her nothing: "You only have one set of parents, Lorelai. Remember that. I forgot, and now I have to live with that the rest of my life." Richard cries, not realizing that what he just told Lorelai, for her, are filled with hope. He asks if there's soup. Lorelai gives him the Tupperware, but realizes she forgot a spoon. She leaves to fetch him one.
Emily is on the phone again, trying to reach an old florist Gran requested. Lorelai walks to the kitchen, Emily following. Lorelai distractedly tells Emily that Richard is going to eat the soup. Emily tells her to take an apple, and some bread, too. She corrects Lorelai on which spoon to give Richard. As they head back toward the study, Emily tells Lorelai that Gran made these arrangements twenty years ago, so most of the businesses are no longer there, and most of the people have retired or died.
Richard storms out of his office in fury. He's just been faxed the obituary announcement, and it's sparse. With barely a mention of her family or her legacy, the newspaper just glossed over Gran's passing as if she were any common non-Gilmore. Richard is outraged, and wants to sue. He wonders why they wouldn't mention the new children's ward at the hospital that Gran paid for, and where all of the babies in Hartford would be born were it not for her. Emily tells Richard to calm down, and promises they'll take care of it. "She was a saint, that woman!" Richard shouts. Emily promises that they'll make sure it says "saint" somewhere in the article. Lorelai tries to give Richard his spoon, but he's no longer hungry. He stomps back into his study. Lorelai asks Emily if she can help. She says she'll bring coffee and a danish: "You'll never have so much fun with death in your life." Emily says it's okay, and that she has it all under control. As Lorelai stalls by her purse before she leaves, Emily makes another phone call. She interrupts to tell Lorelai that she has to go to Gran's house the day to sort through her personal papers. Lorelai smiles and says she'll bring a cherry danish. She leaves as we fade to commercial, Emily still talking on the phone.
I wish there was more I could inject here in this episode, but there's nothing much going on. I feel like this recap is just color commentary, but there's nothing for me to add. I have no way of relating to the passing of an incredibly rich matriarch. Anyway, Lorelai calls Rory on her cell phone. Rory was in her dorm room watching Nigella, picturing a world where the sexy Brit was her mommy. Lorelai tells Rory that Gran died last night. She asks if Rory's okay. Rory asks what she can do. Lorelai tells her that the funeral is Friday and then there's a wake. Rory says she'll get out of whatever she had Friday night (wasn't it a dinner at Emily's?). Rory says she was just getting to know Gran. Lorelai tells her that she got a pretty good snapshot. Rory asks if she should be crying, since Gran was Rory's great-grandmother. Lorelai reminds Rory that she didn't know Gran all that well. Rory -- who gets her Gilmore-centric paranoia from her mother -- then frets that everyone at the funeral will see that she's not crying and think she's a horrible person. I will take a break here to say I love Lorelai's sweater here, and it makes her eyes look really pretty. Lorelai tells Rory that she's an amazing kid and that Gran was lucky to have her as a great-granddaughter. Yes, let's all take a moment in this time of sorrow to reflect on how lucky we all are to have known Rory. Lorelai asks Rory if she wants her to come pick her up tonight, take her to Tijuana and get her drunk and laid. Inappropriate! Rory says she has too much work to do. The girls tell each other that they love each other, and hang up.
Lorelai goes through Gran's files, and no matter what she finds, Emily tells her to hand it over. She doesn't want Lorelai to file anything, since she has a system all worked out. Gran's office looks like MamaLane's antique shop. A woman enters the study to tell Emily that they've inventoried the second floor, and have wrapped the bar glasses in bubble wrap. Emily tells her to load them into her trunk. The woman leaves. Emily tells Lorelai that she's preparing for the funeral by hiding family heirlooms from Richard's cousin Marilyn, who has been pilfering those bar glasses for the last five years. When my grandmother passed away, relatives who hadn't seen her in decades came by the house and claimed things as theirs. Not like, "I want this," but, "Oh, this was mine. I lent it to her in 1962." People are truly amazing. Lorelai is excited to have a "Winona" in the family. Emily tells Lorelai that Gran had a burial/cremation clause, and wanted half of her ashes to be buried to her husband in the family crypt, and the other half to be put in an urn that will rest on Richard's mantle, so that the urn can stare at Emily, judging her for the rest of her life. Ew. "Family crypt." Lorelai says she knows so little about Gran. She asks Emily what Gran's maiden name was. Emily: "Gilmore." It seems Gran married her second cousin. Lorelai is very grossed out by this news. Emily says it wasn't uncommon for prominent families to keep the bloodline close. Lorelai calls this more "Good morning, Appalachia," and worries about extra toes. She points out that she has a double-jointed thumb. Emily asks her to use it to hand her more papers. Lorelai asks how everybody was okay with the intermarriage of cousins. Did they just go, "What a cute couple. They look so much alike"?
Among the papers, Emily finds a carbon copy of a letter Gran wrote to Richard. She reads it out loud. It plainly asks Richard not to marry Emily, who isn't Gilmore material, and to consider Pennilyn Lott again. Gran tells Richard that he's making a terrible mistake, and that even though this is the eve of his wedding, she's begging him to not marry Emily. Lorelai can't believe Gran wanted Richard to leave Emily at the altar. Emily: "She begged him to leave me at the altar! She begged him in writing and then she saved the carbon!" Emily is in shock. She's standing in Gran's basement, covered in dust, organizing Gran's estate, cataloging her things, taking hundreds of phone calls to make sure everything is the way she wanted it, and all this time Gran never wanted Emily in the family. Emily declares that she's over Trix, and over all this nonsense. She's no longer handling the funeral arrangements. That woman is officially dead to her. Lorelai looks terrified, mostly because she knows she's in charge of a funeral now. She reminds Emily about Richard, but Emily says that Richard skipped Emily's best friend's funeral to play golf. Emily says they should either toss Gran in a box and be done with her, or toss her in a ditch and let a wolverine eat her. Lorelai says finding a wolverine near a ditch will take lots of planning. Emily tells Lorelai to do whatever she wants, since Emily's going to have a drink. Emily leaves as Lorelai whines that she doesn't know the system.
Skipping to the generation, we go to Lorelai's kitchen, where Rory is handing papers to Lorelai, who has her own system now. Rory can't believe Gran's letter. She says it was cruel. Lorelai says it was so cruel she wonders if Gran didn't know Emily would find the letter some day. Rory says that's too mean, and she doesn't want to think there's a possibility of something so mean in her bloodline. Lorelai breaks the worst news to her: they come from inbreeding. She tells Rory to count her toes. Rory is freaked out. She says she always thought it was cool that they had the same eyes, but now she knows it's some kind of genetic mutation. This scene is brought to you by Argyle Sweaters. Argyle Sweaters: Only For the Flat-Chested. Lorelai says she's got to deal with the people who made Gran's headstone. If she's getting buried in the family crypt, does she need a headstone? Also: remember how the teasers for this episode have Lorelai freaking out that her name is on a headstone? That scene got cut. Lorelai says that Gran requested to be buried in "fresh clothing," and Lorelai doesn't know what that is. Rory says it's safest just to buy new clothing. Lorelai says that she's got to rewrite the obituary. She says she should let Emily do that: "I believe it would go: 'Yay.'" Rory offers to write the obituary, since she has use of the database at the Yale paper. Lorelai says that would be great. Rory says she feels bad for Richard. Lorelai says they were really close. Rory realizes that Gran and her husband had the same great-grandfather. Lorelai tells her to try not to think about it.
Emily's house is filled with bouquets, so many that they're blocking the front door, which -- shocker! -- Lorelai has to open and walk through herself. What? The horror. Lorelai and Sookie have come over to deal with the catering, only to find a semi-buzzed Emily lounging in her robe reading The Crimson Petal and the White for her book club. She's kicking it on the couch, legs up like Mrs. Robinson, chillin' with some Scotch and a cigarette. ["One of the greatest shots of the whole series, I have to say. I love Emily." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai asks, "Who the hell are you?" Sookie gives her condolences to Emily, who can't believe anybody would be sorry that Gran died. She offers a cigarette. Sookie declines. Emily: "Well, then. More for me!" Sookie tells Lorelai, "I think she broke!" Sookie heads to the kitchen. The doorbell rings. Emily holds her glass in the air and tells Lorelai that her drink could use a little freshening up. Lorelai refuses to top her up, and goes to answer the door.
It's Digger. He asks how everybody's doing. Lorelai says that Richard is a mess, and that Emily starts working at a truck stop week. Digger asks how she's holding up. Lorelai says she's fine, and thanks him for asking. Digger says that's what he's there for. "Really?" Lorelai asks. "No," says Digger. "I have to get your father's signature on some papers." Digger goes to the study door as Lorelai tells him to be careful. Richard opens the door, sees Digger, and dissolves into tears again. He hugs Digger tight, weeping, clutching a Scotch glass.
Lorelai finds Emily lighting a fresh cigarette with the butt of her old one. Lorelai tells her that it was Digger at the door, and that he needed Richard to sign some papers. She asks if she can put some of the baskets away and write a few thank-you notes. Emily tells Lorelai that they have a few Post-Its in the kitchen. Lorelai sits and says she knows how hurt Emily must be about the letter, but that there's still a lot of stuff that has to get done. Emily suggests that they call Pennilyn Lott to plan the funeral, since she's the one who was supposed to be planning it anyway. Sookie comes back in, smiling. She asks if it's going to be okay to set up a buffet in the dining room. Emily wonders if Pennilyn Lott would set a buffet up in the dining room. Emily thinks they should toss some cheese cubes in the coffin, stuff a few toothpicks in Gran's mouth, and "let the people go to town." Lorelai says that the dining room will be fine. Sookie leaves. Lorelai excuses herself to talk to Digger.
Digger asks Lorelai if she saw the hug: "It didn't end! It was the hug that wouldn't end. And he was wearing a robe." You know, if this episode didn't decide to have everything happen off-camera, like the upcoming funeral we're spending a full hour focusing on, that would have been a good place to unveil Digger and Lorelai's relationship, just with his holding her hand and Richard (or maybe only Emily) seeing it. But, whatever. Instead they quirk it up, and Digger admits that he's no good at dealing with tragic situations, or people in need, or emotion, really. And that's a huge strike against Digger for me. Now I don't trust him again. Clearly there's something weird about his not wanting to attend the funeral of his partner's mother. And he's not planning on going, probably because he'll be robbing the family blind while they're at the service, due to the papers he just had Richard sign, and when Richard sobers up he'll be financially ruined and Lorelai will be pregnant. Digger says that when he was ten, he lost a family member a month, and it was very traumatic. Lorelai lets Digger out of the funeral, but tells him he'd better lie to Richard and say he was there. Digger says he's very comfortable with that arrangement.
Emily fixes herself another drink as Lorelai finds her. Emily says that Richard loves Digger. She figures Pennilyn Lott would love Digger, too. Lorelai leaves to get started on the thank-you cards. Emily tells her to remember to thank Pennilyn Lott just for being Pennilyn Lott. She downs her drink as we go to commercial.
Yale paper room. Rory is on her cell phone to Lorelai, telling her that she has learned so many things about Gran's past that she never knew before. Gran took care of wounded soldiers during WWII, and met three presidents. She says there's an amazing picture of her frowning at Nixon like she knew he was up to something. I would imagine someone like Rory would be well-versed in her own family history, particularly since she had to deal with all that legacy bullshit to get into Yale and she herself wants to go into...ah, forget it. Moving on. Rory gets busted by Doyle, and hangs up. Doyle can't believe Rory is working on her own personal stuff in the staff room, using the school's equipment, just after she got a lecture on that. Rory pulls the dead-grandmother card, saying they were close, and that she has to write an obituary that's fitting for Gran. Doyle gets upset. Turns out he lost his own grandmother this past winter. As he goes on about how great she was and how he accidentally picked up the phone to call her last week, Rory -- overcome with guilt in thirty seconds -- confesses that it was actually her great-grandmother and that they weren't all that close, and that she's learning all about her now. Doyle, filled with some kind of elder wisdom, tells Rory to keep doing what she's doing, and that it's important. Glenn can't believe Rory's whipping-boy days were less than a week long.
Luke's is filled with silent patrons. Cesar stands in the center of the room. Everyone is rapt, listening to the sounds of Nicole and Luke fighting upstairs. Miss Patty enters, and everyone shushes her. She listens to the fighting. We hear a slam, and everyone goes back to normal as Luke storms in to take Miss Patty's order. Before she can decide on crackers or a roll with her salad, Nicole storms into the diner, asking Luke if he really thought they were finished fighting, since she was in the middle of the word "September." Luke opens the door and tells Nicole to follow him outside. Luke comes back inside briefly to slam his hand on Miss Patty's table, in order to get her to stop spooning jelly straight into her mouth.
Luke and Nicole fight, but I really can't listen to it, because it appears Nicole is wearing the charred remains of a sweater. It's like the trash heap. What is that? Luke and Nicole decide that they have nothing to say to each other. Nicole starts to leave. Luke asks if she's going back to their place. Nicole thinks it's funny that he'd insinuate that they both lived there. She leaves. Luke sees all of Stars Hollow watching him through the diner window.
Richard answers the door, fumbling with his bow tie. Lorelai can't believe they gave the maid another day off. Rory asks Richard why he's not wearing any shoes. Rory hugs Richard and says she's sorry. Richard says he's having a hard time with the tie. Lorelai asks if Emily can help her with the tie. Richard absent-mindedly totters around, wondering where Emily is, wondering why someone sent them four hams. Emily, all smiles, flits down the stairs in her robe and tells Rory she looks very nice in her jacket and jeans. Rory says she brought something to change into. Emily says that what Rory's wearing will be fine. She hands Lorelai The Crimson Petal and the White, saying Lorelai will really like it. Emily then launches into a drunken book report as Richard fumbles with his tie. Lorelai tells Rory to follow Richard and keep him away from doors and windows. Lorelai tells Emily to go get ready. Emily says that they have plenty of time, and brags that today she learned how to make mojitos. She asks Lorelai if she'd like one. Lorelai says they need to be ready early, since they're throwing the funeral. Emily goes upstairs to get dressed. Rory comes back downstairs and tells Lorelai that Emily and Richard are a little nutty. "With extra nuts on top," Lorelai agrees. As Lorelai goes through the list of things she still has to do, she realizes that she forgot to give the mortician a pair of underwear for Gran. Rory asks if Gran's going to go commando. Lorelai is very upset, and leaves to go buy underwear. Rory says that nobody will know. Lorelai says she'll know, and asks Rory to babysit her grandparents while Lorelai's gone.
Victoria's Secret. The panty saleswoman tries to upsell Lorelai, until Lorelai confesses that she's buying underwear for a dead woman and has no idea what size she'd be. This leads to a meltdown by the thongs about how Lorelai doesn't know what fresh clothing is, and that she has to do all the planning now because Emily found "The Note," and that she can't believe someone would write a note like that and keep the carbon. She can't believe a woman would want a four-thousand-year-old minister and fresh clothing and to be cremated and put in a jar to sit and judge for all eternity. Lorelai pulls herself together and picks a pair of panties, since the dead woman can't see what she's wearing or the mess she left behind. The saleswoman says that Lorelai picked a small pair of panties. Lorelai shouts that the woman is dead and can't tell what size she's wearing. She's dead and wanted fresh clothes, so here they are. Lorelai says that if anybody could rise from the dead and yell at her for picking the wrong size, that tough, old, crazy, wonderful broad could. Lorelai pays for the panties as we go to commercial.
Rory ties Richard's tie using a print-out from the internet. Richard is impressed with that new-fangled invention known as the internet. Rory tells him he can keep the print-out. Richard thanks her. Rory says he needs his shoes and jacket. Richard tells Rory that he was never again able to wear the suit he wore when he buried his father. It was his first custom-made suit, and he never wanted to see it again. Now he'll never wear this suit again, either. Rory tells Richard that if he has any problems doing the eulogy, she'll be happy to do it. She did a lot of reading about Gran, and feels she can do Gran justice. Richard thanks her for the offer, but says that this is his responsibility. Rory says she's got his back.
Lorelai pouts into Emily's house. As she leans over to pick something up, Emily asks, "Did you go shopping? I've been sitting here waiting for you." Lorelai sighs and stomps away.
Post-funeral, we're at the wake. Richard shakes hands and thanks people for coming. Rory congratulates him on the eulogy. Richard says the well-tied bow tie had a steadying effect. A couple gives Richard their condolences. Richard introduces Rory, who excuses herself for a soda. Everybody sure is all smiles at this wake.
Lorelai asks Rory how Richard's doing. Rory says he's holding it together, partly because of all the people, but also that he really is doing better. Lorelai puts her arm around Rory and asks what she thought of Gran's fresh clothing. Rory approved, but was quite amused to see that Lorelai put a Hello Kitty bracelet on her. Lorelai wanted her to have something to remember them by in the afterlife.
Meet cousin Marilyn, also known as Marion Ross without her gray wig. She's the storyteller of the family, and is regaling stories of crazy Trix to a group of listeners. Check out the extra to her left, who can't stop nodding. Marilyn just leaves the group of people she's talking to and kisses Lorelai, calling herself Richard's favorite cousin. Marilyn tells Lorelai that Gran had a picture of Lorelai in her entryway. When guests would walk in the door, Gran would announce, "This is my granddaughter Lorelai. She's not married." Lorelai says that's a a great story. Marilyn tells Lorelai she's so stunning, she hopes Lorelai's an idiot. Lorelai promises she has her moments, and then introduces Rory, who can't speak for herself. Marilyn asks if they've seen any bar glasses around. Lorelai says she hasn't. Lorelai leaves. Marilyn and Rory talk about Gran. Rory says she didn't know her very well. Marilyn says that's a terrible shame. Rory says she thinks so, too. And then...oh, the scene is over.
Emily's talking to a friend, who says they're hitting the age when people start dying all the time, and that they should each invest in a second black suit. Emily stops a waiter and asks for a Manhattan for Richard, further ordering the waiter to stop each food tray over by Richard first so that he eats something.
Rory flirts with a boy near a staircase until Lorelai rushes past, informing her that Rory and the boy are second cousins. Rory high-tails it out of there.
Lorelai loud-talks to the minister, who doesn't remember any of these people. When Lorelai introduces herself, he asks if he didn't just bury her. Marilyn floats in and says that the Lorelai the minister buried was this woman's grandmother. She holds her arms up to Lorelai and says, "This is the reigning Lorelai!" The minister asks Marilyn who she is. She says he'd remember her from when she was younger: he married her to one of her husbands. As Marilyn ushers the minister away, she tells him this would all go much better if he pretended to know everybody.
Lorelai joins Emily on the couch. She asks how Emily's holding up. Emily says that her feet are killing her. The rest of her is fine. Lorelai says that Gran wrote that letter, but that Richard picked Emily. Emily: "I can't believe you wore those shoes to a funeral." Lorelai leaves to get a stuffed mushroom.
Emily joins Richard, who says he's doing well, since she made sure he had a constant stream of food. Emily straightens his tie. Richard says he's been thinking about it, and that he's not so sure the mantle is the best place for Gran's ashes. He thinks burying her with his father seems right. He asks if Emily agrees. "Whatever you want, Richard," says Emily. Richard kisses her hand.
As Lorelai is near Marilyn, who is telling another Gran story, she watches her parents sharing an embrace in the other room. The strummy-strummy-la-la continues as Lorelai finds Rory alone at a table in the back.
Lorelai asks Rory if she ditched the cousin. Rory says they ran into a sister, and that she couldn't compete. Rory says she's feeling sadder about Gran, which makes her feel less guilty, so things are looking up. Lorelai informs Rory that Lorelai is now the reigning Lorelai, which is a lot of responsibility, what with the declaring of knighthoods and the opening of supermarkets. She tells Rory that someday Rory will be the reigning Lorelai. Rory doesn't like thinking of that, even though she'll get a cape, because it means her mom will be gone. Lorelai promises she won't be gone, and that she'll have only stepped down. Rory is intrigued again, what with the promise of the cape and all.
The episode in April. ["Oh, sweet. I love you, The WB!" -- Wing Chun] I'll catch you over at Wonderfalls.