After the longest "Previously" of all time, we open at Luke's. Apparently, Lorelai found time to get her hair done. Lorelai tries to grab the plate of food Luke's about to serve to someone, and gets upset when he doesn't give it to her. Luke asks if she's okay now. Lorelai acknowledges that she had a meltdown of such monumental proportions that they're now making a movie out of it -- Meltdown in the Park. Baz Luhrmann is directing and Alec Baldwin will be playing Luke. Luke hopes Alec Baldwin will be slimming down for the role. My boyfriend turns to me and says, "Daniel Palladino wrote this one. Now I can tell, too!" It's the mean factor. When the characters are unusually mean -- not bitter or spiteful, but mean -- that's the mark of Daniel. Lorelai asks if she can work on her laptop in the diner. Luke asks if it makes noise. Lorelai says that she does.
Kirk arrives with a pink polka dot bag under his arm. Luke asks what's up with the "gaybag." Kirk explains that his girlfriend -- whom we haven't seen since her invention, prompting me to wonder if she now lives "in Canada" -- went out of town with some friends and asked Kirk to watch her dog. Hence the bag. Kirk goes on to say that he found out his girlfriend went out with girl friends, because he called the hotel to check the names, "not that I don't trust her." Luke: "Clearly." Luke then unleashes (heh) a string of names that could be either male or female.
Luke leaves to get Kirk coffee and runs into Lorelai's phone cord, currently making Luke limbo behind his counter. Lorelai tells Luke not to worry -- she's using the fax line that Luke never uses, so she's not tying anything up. Luke rants that Lorelai made him get the fax line even though nobody would ever make orders by fax, not that he ever bought a fax machine to find out if that would be true. So Luke's spending twenty bucks a month on what, now? Yeah, can you tell I've been crazy-broke for a year and trying to budget? Every character on this show bleeds money from the pores on either eating out, fancy clothes, college tuition, renovations on inns, newborn babies, living at a house and an apartment, living in Stars Hollow but working in New York City, or buying everything at all times. It's hard enough living in L.A. watching Lexus after Lexus drive past you, but when you're supposed to feel sorry for Lorelai and Rory's money woes, it's really hard when you watch them saunter off in Juicy Couture. Ahem. Moving on. Lorelai says that she loves email, and that she and Rory write to each other every day. She tells Luke that email is a return to romantic letter-writing times. Ooh, now I get to pimp my own upcoming comedy show, about a return to the romantic letter-writing times! See how that works out? Yay! Lorelai says that she always pictures Charles Dickens writing letters, with his feathered pen, in his weird accent, asking about Big Ben and "tuppence-a-bag." Luke drops his dial-up argument with Lorelai when he realizes that Kirk's gaybag means there's a dog in his diner. Kirk denies it (dropping a Radiohead reference in the process), and then orders a pound of raw hamburger with his oatmeal. Kirk walks back to his counter to find that Lorelai has made a tower with menus to hoist the phone cord higher in the air. It's a little like when JoBeth Williams turns around to find that all of her kitchen chairs have been stacked on top of the kitchen counter. Luke says he shouldn't have to limbo in his own place. They're distracted again by Kirk, who's now talking baby talk to the dog (telling the dog he has "sleepy face," which is seriously cute). Kirk covers by saying he was looking for his Lucky magazine, and then suffers a bite to the finger. "Paper cut," he says. Lorelai and Luke stare at each other. Luke proceeds to limbo, and we go to opening credits.
Yale. Paris is upset that Rory's walking around the dorm room so carefree when she has a cold and is probably still coated in germs. When I watched this episode for the first time, I had a fever of 102, and in my near-delirium and misery, I kind of thought Paris was talking to me. It was scary. Rory says she's not contagious anymore. Paris still coats the doorknob with an aerosol spray. Rory points out that it's deodorant. Cue the classic Daniel Palladino vaudevillian punchline: "Then what the hell did I spray under my arms?" Soon, you too will be able to spot one of these scripts in eight minutes flat. Poor Paris is using Rory's old iMac, I think. From Season 1. Poor Paris. Rory gets a cell-phone call from Lane, who is standing in her new, completely empty apartment. Hey, Lane. Who pays your cell-phone bill these days? Rory asks how Lane can afford the apartment. Lane says she's sharing with mfTL and Brian, and that it's totally innocent. She has her own room, and they'll sleep in the living room. She moves her stuff in the day, as long as MamaLane hasn't sold all of her things. Lane celebrates the arrival of her first piece of mail (her mailbox is apparently in the center of her empty living room): a Chinese menu. Rory suggests that Lane frame it. Rory hangs up to find Paris holding a lighter under their doorknob. "Fire kills germs," she explains. She holds her sweater over her face like Nosferatu and continues, "And I'm sleeping with one of the other girls tonight." Rory declares that to be "very The L Word." I want Paris's clothes from that scene. I can totally pull off the sexy spinster look.
Luke's again. Lorelai is done doing her email, and thanks Luke for putting up with her. Luke says he only fell once. Lorelai says it was graceful. Luke looks around, and then hands Lorelai something. Lorelai plays Carnac with it. (I'm guessing two-thirds of you have no idea who the hell that is.) Luke tells her to hide it and look at it later. But Lorelai doesn't like to wait for anything, so she opens it up, sits down, and declares, not quietly, that Luke has just handed her a check for thirty thousand dollars. She goes right to the guilt, saying she never asked him for it correctly, and that she doesn't feel right taking it. Luke wants her to have it. Lorelai doesn't want to take it until they figure out how she's going to pay him back, when, and with what interest. They haggle on a napkin until they're both satisfied. Lorelai uses the napkin to ask how Nicole feels about all of this, since it's probably partly her money as well. Luke tells Lorelai not to worry about Nicole, and that Lorelai's not going to see her. Lorelai writes a thank-you on the napkin. I'm guessing it's more for the Nicole part than the money part. Lorelai does her famous pout, and leaves.
Emily's. Lorelai arrives to find Emily ripping someone a new one over the phone. Lorelai takes off her coat, and I think to myself, "That girl has so much money put aside for clothes." I don't think I've ever seen her repeat an outfit, but we do see Rory wear the same thing more than once. Emily, too. And obviously Luke. But Lorelai is always wearing something different. Emily is trying to get dinner reservations, since their loin was burned by the about-to-be-unemployed cook. Lorelai enjoys repeating that Emily has a burning loin. Emily, as if someone knew what I was thinking, tells Lorelai that she can't believe she's wearing that dress again and how it's rather inappropriate for going out to dinner. I do believe it's a cocktail dress, so I'm not sure how it would be inappropriate for any place that takes American Express. Emily tells Lorelai to hit a store and update her wardrobe, as Richard emerges from that mysterious place they keep him in every other episode. He teases Emily, saying she's done enough shopping for a lifetime: "Methuselah's lifetime." Richard teases Emily a bit more about her shopping habit, until Emily offers to leave the room and let Richard and Lorelai starve. Richard has already forgotten that dinner was ruined. Richard says he heard the word "loin," but didn't think Emily meant dinner. Lorelai shudders and says that this is making her uncomfortable. Emily accuses Richard of only half listening to her, and then they fight over where they'll eat dinner, as well as which restaurants they like and don't like. Richard wants to go to the place Digger took him to last week, which had a hip clientele, like Moby. Only if Digger took Richard to the past. Speaking of the past, Richard and Emily then argue about which of the Beatles are still alive and which are dead, a conversation Lorelai begs them to pause until Rory is there to witness. Emily tells Richard to change into something more appropriate. You don't like his Colonel Mustard look, Emily? She then begs him to shave his caterpillar mustache. Men have a fascination with their facial hair that women won't understand. I've learned that the only way to make a man shave off whatever scratchy face stuff is sloughing your lips and cheeks is also to refuse to shave until he does. Most men can take your leg hair growing long, but the second they see your pits filling in, they're offering to loan you their Mach 3 while they're still shaving their upper lips. Emily says they have to leave immediately, and they don't have time to change clothes. As they leave, Emily tells everyone to plan what they want to eat as they have to order as soon as they get there. Lorelai reminds Emily that they have to wait for Rory. Emily says that Rory isn't coming because she's been sick all week. She asks Lorelai if she didn't know that, but Lorelai lies that she knew that, totally. Emily says she's going to order the sea bass, and then they...oh. Oh. Okay. That's fine. End of scene.
Lorelai calls Rory. They reach each other. Lorelai is mad that Rory never mentioned she was sick in any of her emails. She compares them to the naked couple in the "Love Is" cartoons. Okay, if any of you knew who Carnac was, I'm guessing we're down to a very small percentage who can remember the "Love Is" cartoons. I was so little when they were around that I kind of thought they were porn. Lorelai reads some of Rory's mail, saying she writes less than the people who offer to enlarge Lorelai's penis. Wasn't Lorelai just bragging to Luke that she and Rory email every day? Also: there's no way Lorelai would be good with email. She'd hate it and would be the type to call and say, "I just sent you an email asking you if you want to come to my house for dinner tomorrow night. But I forgot to ask if you're allergic to shellfish. Do you like shrimp? I just rented a movie. I have to tell you what happened to me today!" And so on. Also: Rory wouldn't write "What up?" in an email. I don't know anybody who would write "What up?" because, again, this isn't the past. Lorelai says it's been so long since she's seen Rory that she doesn't even know if Rory looks the same. Rory says she got a nose ring. Lorelai tells Rory not to kid, because she's mad and needy (when is she not?), and she spent the evening with her parents, who bickered the entire time about which Beatle was alive and which was dead. They decided that John and Keith are dead, and Paul and Bingo are still alive. Lorelai asks Rory to play hooky tomorrow. "From what?" Rory asks, because Lorelai doesn't know that Rory just dropped all of her classes, and her "sick week" was actually her first week of being that kid who lives in the dorms who actually doesn't go to the school anymore. Rory says that the day is good, because she can skip some newspaper thing. Lorelai, $30,000 check burning a hole in her pocket, asks Rory if she'd like to go shopping. Rory says they're both broke. She uses British slang here, but I think it's bollocks when Americans do that. Lorelai says they can window-shop like Rosalind Russell and Ava Gardner on 5th Avenue. When Stee once subbed my recaplet for me, he asked if Bob Hope was writing the scripts these days, what with the World War II-era references. I'm wondering if Groucho Marx wrote the script for this episode. The girls promise to wear roses in their lapels so that they recognize each other. They hang up without saying goodbye.
Luke walks out of Doose's. Dude. Artichokes are crazy cheap in Stars Hollow. Luke runs into Kirk, who is walking about six dogs. Due to his girlfriend, Kirk now has a lucrative dog-walking business, and Luke finds him in the middle of a game of hide and seek. Basically Kirk lets one dog go and hides with the pack until the lone dog finds them. At the moment, they're hiding from Snuggles. The game helps the dogs to hone their tracking skills. Luke asks if Kirk's ever the one who gets cut loose. "I've gone twice," Kirk admits. Snuggles finds the group, but Snuggles is a slow dog, dragging a leash through the street, and she takes so long at the curb I'm positive that we're about to watch a dog get run over by Jess's piece of shit car. But nobody dies in Stars Hollow, not really, so the dog is fine and all of the dogs celebrate by leaping all over Kirk as joyous music cascades and Kirk asks Luke to whoop it up with them. "Celebrate!" Two dogs celebrate; the other five are busy looking at their trainers. Kirk shouts "Cookies!" over and over again as Luke watches. It's quirky!
Rory enters the Dragonfly and makes some small talk with grumpy Tom, the new Taylor. Rory asks CuteDean for his autograph, and then confesses that she thought he was one of the Village People. CuteDean asks if the rose Rory's wearing is an inside joke for Lorelai. "You know me well," Rory says. "Yeah, I do," CuteDean says. Just not Biblically. CuteDean asks Rory if she's okay now. Rory says she just had a little nervous breakdown, but that she is okay now. She says he's got a heck of an understanding shoulder. Firm, too. And tall. CuteDean lets Rory hammer a bit of the staircase, not unlike when I pretend my cat has delivered the mail by holding his paws against an envelope and then walking him over to my boyfriend. Rory's that good at hammering. She's also just in time to see CuteDean's wife and mother-in-law arrive with lunch. And they have exciting news! They found a new dry cleaner! The new cleaner uses less solvent, so it's cleaner! Lindsay's super-excited about the environment! Rory dropped out of game theory! Lindsay's mother -- let's call her Ialerol -- refers to CuteDean as Dean-o, which makes me hurl-o. Lindsay tells CuteDean that Ialerol made lunch today, "so it's safe to eat." CuteDean explains that Ialerol is teaching Lindsay how to cook. "It's hard!" Lindsay says, like Barbie learning math. Ialerol -- who looks a bit like Ellen DeGeneres in this scene -- wishes she had taught Lindsay how to cook when Lindsay was little, and tells Lindsay not to make that same mistake with her little one. Rory looks at CuteDean with fear. CuteDean shakes his head. Lorelai arrives, pretending to be distraught. She then acts like the bearded man working in the corner is Rory, and he doesn't even get one line to defend himself. Rory laughs and they both joke about how that hideous man could never be Rory. Ah, rudeness. It's so fun! Lorelai says hello to Lindsay and her mom, who has the actual name of Teresa. Rory's all, "Let's go!" She asks if that lunch thing is common. Lorelai says that Lindsay and Teresa bring something for CuteDean and something for the crew every single day. Lindsay made peanut brittle yesterday and it sent more than one worker to the dentist before a HazMat team came and took it away.
Mall? To be honest, this establishing shot looks like the exterior of the high school where I took my SATs. But we're quickly inside the mall, where Lorelai and Rory are flirting with the free pretzel sample guy. As they ride the escalator up they decide to walk arm-in-arm like the window-shopping ladies do in movies.
Here's the thing about window-shopping: it sucks. It's the most torturous thing ever. It's the only time that the mall has everything you've ever wanted. You have a hundred bucks and you can't find one thing that fits you right. You're broke: you're suddenly thinner than ever and all things are on clearance. Lorelai finds something she loves, and Rory tells her to make a mental note to come back and buy it when she's got some cash. Rory leaves before Lorelai's ready, and there's this weird trip they do where Lorelai laughs and Rory does this huge physical take that's unnecessary and then Lorelai declares it one of the risks of linked-arm walking and then the scene is over. They never go on location, so I guess a few awkward transitions are in order.
Lane knocks on her mother's door. MamaLane answers. She lets Lane come inside. Lane's aunt June is there, and she brought Lane's subdued cousin Christine to help her move. MamaLane tells Lane to say hello to Christine. Lane does. Christine says hello back. Everybody looks miserable. MamaLane says that she and June will remain downstairs while Lane moves. She tells Lane that she can use whatever boxes she needs, plus bubble wrap and tape, but that she must mark it in the inventory. Lane thanks her mother. June orders: "Go with Lane, Christine." Christine, head down, follows Lane out of the kitchen. MamaLane sits down and stares at June, waiting for someone to say "cut."
The second Lane's bedroom door closes, Christine girlifies, and can't stop babbling about how cool it is that Lane's getting her own place, with her own life, and her own CDs, and got to drop out of school, and how she's this amazing trailblazer in the Kim family, doing all this stuff girls don't get to do. She wants to talk White Stripes, Led Zeppelin, and Joy Division. Eventually, Lane tells Christine to shut up. Stee spots his beloved Grandaddy CD in Christine's hand. Lane shouts that she's neither green nor wrinkly, so she's no Yoda, and she's only there to get her stuff and split. She tells Christine to start assembling boxes. She then corrects Christine on her Led Zeppelin knowledge and goes back to packing.
All of Lane's things somehow fit in one box, or we've cut to the very last box Lane's taking out of her room. Christine's still begging answers until they get to the bottom of the stairs, whereupon she resumes Good Daughter composure. Lane says she left the inventory list in her room: "I guess I'll be going." "Yes," says MamaLane. I wonder if this is exactly what MamaLane wants. As far as we can tell, there's no PapaLane, even though she hinted that she had two parents in the first season. But I wonder if now they're going to spin it that MamaLane's tough love was always the plan to get Lane as independent as MamaLane is, with her own business and her own rules. But until then, it's "Step away from Lane, Christine," as June warns. Lane stares at her mother, who must look down and away to avoid showing emotion. The strummy-strummy gives it away. I read The Joy Luck Club. I know how these things work.
Rory and Lorelai continue to window-shop, this time much more bummed out. Eventually, they drop it and admit that it sucks. Window-shopping is never fun, and all it does is make you realize all of the things you can't afford. Lorelai compares window-shopping to going to the museum except you're interested in what you're looking at and everyone can buy something but you. They then judge all of the happy-go-lucky shoppers, walking around with their boastful bags of booty. Lorelai realizes she may never have seen two actresses window-shopping in an old movie, ever. The girls decide to try going into a store instead of staying behind the glass. They go in. Seconds later they come back out: "Worse. Much worse." They decide to cut their losses and go somewhere else.
Headed back down the escalator to grab more pretzels, Lorelai spots Emily on the flight up. She hides her forehead with one hand and tells Rory to do the same. She says it's Emily, but Rory doesn't know who that is. Lorelai spends time describing Emily the Strange, and tells Rory to hide; it doesn't work. Emily tells Lorelai and Rory to meet her upstairs. I said it in the recaplet, but I'll say it again: Like Emily would shop in a mall.
Lorelai and Rory spend the commercials on the flight up and meet Emily at the top. Emily asks what they're doing there, and the girls spend some time stammering out a combination of lies and nonsense sounds until Lorelai confesses that they're playing hooky. Emily asks where their bags are, and Lorelai tells her they were window-shopping. Emily doesn't see the fun in that; Rory agrees. Emily tells the girls to follow her. Lorelai says they were just leaving. Emily says they're not leaving. Rory says that Emily is very aggressive today. Lorelai thinks the passive side of Emily must be playing hooky. They follow Emily through the mall.
As Lane unpacks, she realizes they don't have a single thing for the kitchen. They do, however, have three stereos, as mfTL points out as a reason for manhandling Brian's stereo. MfTL then chides Brian that his Futurama action figures taking up the precious shelf space. As an employee of a rabid Groening fan, I must abstain from any jokes concerning this pop-culture reference. ["Good move." -- Wing Chun] Lane is freaking out because her new place has no forks, no curtains, and no refrigerator. I, too, was baffled by that when I first moved to Los Angeles. Why wouldn't a place you rent have a refrigerator? I really don't get it still. Brian plugs in his night light. mfTL says that there's no way the Sex Pistols had a night light when they roomed together. They did; it was the end of their lit cigarettes. Lane doesn't have a towel. mfTL is upset that he'll be sharing bunk beds. Brian thinks that bunk beds are cool: "The bottom one is like a fort!" Lane says that they should start a list of things they need. mfTL and Brian argue over Futurama figures until Lane points out the empty shelf they could use. The boys tell Lane they set that shelf aside for her CDs, because those need a place to go. Lane is so touched by having a place for her things that are allowed to be on display that she gushes that this is totally going to work. Brian gets the line "Jeez! You smeared my glasses!" I do believe they can pull back on the geek for Brian. We get it. The guys ask her not to freak out when she sees her shelf in the bathroom.
Mall. Emily goes through a mall like a doctor on rounds, letting salespeople describe their newest items, buying purchases like ordering a CT and a chem scan. (I just totally did that from memory. I have no idea what I'm talking about.) Emily orders a China set without seeing it. She orders some weird little red balls. As she stops to order all of the suits ever made for Richard, Lorelai bumps into her. Lorelai tells her mother that her brake lights are out. Emily orders thousands of dollars of merchandise on the Gilmore account in a matter of seconds. Lorelai and Rory are amazed. Emily orders things for Richard's mustache, including the most expensive mustache comb they can find. Emily tells Lorelai that Richard doesn't know what he wants, so she chooses for him. She finds a globe and tells a salesman she wants it. The salesman tells her it's not for sale. Emily says that everything is for sale. The salesman leaves to take care of it. Lorelai says that Richard already has a globe. Emily says that Rory can have it, then. Rory doesn't want it, since it's missing a few countries: "And California."
Emily drags Lorelai and Rory to a hat display and tells the girls to start picking "anything and everything." When Lorelai says they don't have any money, Emily says that this is all on Richard. Emily picks out a hat for Rory and orders a scarf and a set of gloves to match. Lorelai asks Rory if she can see the marbles on the floor that spilled out of Emily's head. Rory likes the hat. Lorelai tells her that this is craziness.
Emily asks Lorelai to pick out a watch, one with diamonds. Lorelai says she's not taking it. "I'm buying you a damn watch!" Emily screams. She tells the salesgirl to wrap it up, and then storms away. Lorelai asks the salesgirl if she can return the damn watch later. The saleswoman says she can.
Rory is caught in a pink tulle hat.
Later, Rory and Lorelai have lost track of how much money Emily has spent on them, but it includes several dresses and gowns, including a Vera Wang bridal for Lorelai. Emily tells the girls to find some shoes. As strong as Lorelai was trying to be, she has hit her weakness: Manolo Blahniks. Art for your feet. We watch as Emily orders an overnight of the rest of those weird little red apples at an incredible expense from Venice. Lorelai asks Emily why she's putting such a dent in her credit card in one day with things she doesn't need: "It's crazy." Consider Emily's button pushed: "'Crazy'? You think this is crazy? This isn't crazy! That stupid mustache is crazy! That's crazy. And your father's job is crazy. That's what's crazy." She complains about his "club-hopping" with Digger and his secret lunches with women and his lies. Lorelai tells Emily to calm down. Emily asks why Lorelai is taking Richard's side. Lorelai says she's not taking sides. Emily says she should go out and hang with Moby: "This is what I do, according to Richard." Emily rants that Richard has a whole new life with Digger and Pennilynn and his mustache. Emily thinks that maybe she should get a job so she can have her own life. She orders a job application for the store, on Richard's account, of course. Everyone is staring as Emily continues on about how much she hates that mustache. Lorelai says that they need to take a break, because her feet are killing her. "Well then, get some new shoes!" Emily screams. Lorelai escorts her mother away from the Manolos. Rory looks a bit mortified.
Lorelai and Rory lead Emily to a place she's never seen before: the Food Court. Rory asks where Emily normally eats when she shops. "I leave and go to a restaurant," she says. Emily looks disgusted when she realizes that the Food Court serves cafeteria-style. Lorelai sits Emily at a table. "It's plastic," snots Emily. Rory reminds Emily that plastic is "a vital part of our bright tomorrow." Emily tries to give the girls her favorite plastic thing -- a credit card. Lorelai explains that these places don't take Visa, and then Rory and Lorelai leave to forage.
Armed with food, Lorelai and Rory carry their trays back to the table as Lorelai argues on the phone about some drawing of the inn. The girls talk Emily through the spread. Emily had no idea so many foods came on sticks. Rory says some of them are technically kabobs. I've never seen someone order six different drinks before to share with three people, but these girls did. Emily tries an Orange Julius. Mmm, Orange Julius. I haven't had one since I was six. They didn't have them in many of the states I lived after that. I wonder if they're still good. Emily likes it. Rory leaves for napkins and pepper. Lorelai talks Emily through some of the food. Emily asks how loud she was back there. Lorelai says she was heard. Emily notes that if she'd seen someone act that way, she would have called Security. Emily compliments Lorelai on the way she handled her phone call earlier, being forceful. Lorelai says she learned from the best. "From whom?" Emily asks. "From the lady eating her hamburger with a knife and fork, that's whom," says Lorelai. Emily says she orders around servants and salespeople: "That's different. I've never done anything." She says that Richard's right: all she does is buy things she doesn't need. She's never done anything. Lorelai gently reminds Emily that she has friends and a family who love her, and a house and a whole life. She could get a dog. Emily wishes Richard would shave that mustache. Lorelai tells Emily she needs to make Richard talk to her, no matter how distracted he seems, because she needs to talk to him: "And make it a real talk." No mention of Moby. "Really clear the air." Rory comes back and asks what she missed. "I was just admiring your mother's life," says Emily. "Oh, I do that daily," says Rory. Lorelai looks like her princess crown finally fits like she wanted it to.
Luke sees Kirk frantically putting up posters on lampposts. Luke is apparently headed to a strip club, so he stops at an arcade first to get twenty singles. We find CuteDean playing a game, breathless. The arcade guy (I never remember his character's name) busts in to tell Luke that CuteDean has the record on almost every single game in the building. CuteDean says that Lindsay and her mom like him out of the way when they're cleaning up. He sneaks out, and they never notice. CuteDean says that married life is great. Lindsay's great. Lindsay's parents are there all the time doing stuff: "They're just the most unselfish people I know." They small talk about Lindsay's dad until CuteDean is distracted -- he sees Rory outside the window. Luke lets CuteDean off the hook when he sees what's making CuteDean stammer. CuteDean goes back to his game.
Luke enters his diner to find Rory and Lorelai, who look like they just robbed Paris Hilton. The girls are taking inventory, and say that they should return it all, but that they won't. Luke -- who just loaned the Gilmores thirty thousand dollars -- sure takes it in stride. Lorelai says that this is the world of the rich. $700 yoga bag. Lorelai gives us a shout-out, asking what the "Tubey" bag is for. "Life Savers" is the response. The girls fight over a tote bag that turns out to be the free gift with purchase. Lorelai tells Luke that this is his window into the world of worthless rich-people stuff, and how people of means will buy whatever they see regardless of others. Luke scolds Lorelai for pouring her own coffee. She apologizes as she sips.
Outside we see Kirk holding a dog, putting another sign on a lamp post. He looks frantic. He enters the diner. He holds up a dog and asks, "Does anyone know who this is?" Luke says it's Snuggles. Kirk says it's not; it's the dog who looks like Snuggles. Nobody picked this dog up, and he has no tag. Lorelai teases Luke for knowing Snuggles by name. Kirk yells that he doesn't have time for chit chat. Nobody knows the dog. Kirk says that he was using random sounds to see if the dog would respond in order to determine the dog's name: "Pacu! Nokki! Nini! Beeblow!" My sister and I used to do that very same thing when we were kids and found a dog. Kirk leaves, babbling nonsense. Rory says that she has to get back to Yale. The girls agree that they had a great time today. Lorelai says this should be a regular part of their schedule. They aim for Tuesday, but Rory can't. Lorelai can't on Wednesday. Thursday doesn't exist in Stars Hollow. Friday belongs to Emily. Rory wishes they didn't have to schedule time together like a married couple having date night. It's looking like it's going to be two weeks at least before they see each other again, so Lorelai gives up and serves them pie on napkins. Rory asks if they should worry about Emily. Lorelai says she'll be okay, and not to worry. "They're a team. They'll be okay." Rory says she likes their team. Luke walks over and puts their pie on plates and gives them silverware. To thank him, Lorelai presents the rose from her lapel. Luke takes it and sniffs it as he walks away.
Emily's. Dinner table. Wide shot of Emily and Richard eating dinner, the sound of the grandfather clock overpowering the room. Richard asks whether Emily dealt with that business with the gardeners. Emily says she hasn't yet. They eat. Richard says that the vines are out of control. Emily says she'll see to it. Richard says it'd be nice to have that fixed before he gets back. Emily asks where he's going. Richard's got a business meeting in Manhattan with Digger, and will stay overnight in the city. He asks if that's all right with Emily. "That's fine," she says. She asks him what he thinks of the Venetian apples. "Oh," says Richard. "I've always liked those." Emily stares at her husband and wonders who this man is sitting across from her and why she relies on his approval to complete her day. Richard and Emily continue their meal in silence as we fade to black.