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Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. I'm very thankful that I cover a show that doesn't make me want to rip my eyes out every single week. I'm happy that you guys seem to enjoy the recaps almost as much as you enjoy the show itself. I'm thankful that I work with some of the coolest people on the planet, even though I've never met most of them and the other ones live in far away time zones and countries and stuff. I'm thankful that as I write this, I can smell turkey cooking. I'm very thankful for that. Turkey. The house smells like Stars Hollow.
We open at Friday dinner. Lorelai and Rory compliment Emily on the dinner. Marisela, the newest cook in Emily's staff, made it. Emily says that all of Marisela's food represents the charming little country she's from. It's "one of those little ones to Mexico." Rory wishes Richard were there. He's stuck in Akron on business tonight. Lorelai has her own monologue about what the phrase "get out of here" means, while Rory and Emily discuss the fact that Richard's miserable in Akron. Finally, Emily turns to Lorelai and asks whether she'd like a mirror placed in front of her so that she could literally continue her conversation alone. Emily continues to explain the horrible working conditions in Akron by saying that Richard had to eat at a coffee shop last night. Rory says she hates that Richard is unhappy. Emily seizes Rory's sympathy and tells her that there is something she could do that would make Richard happy. Lorelai shouts for Rory to run away and get out before it's too late, but it's already too late and suddenly Rory is going to have to sit for an oil painting that will hang in Richard's study. Lorelai tells Rory that she warned her, but Rory seems interested in doing something that will make Richard happy, since Rory always loves to please her grandparents. Lorelai asks Emily to have the portrait made from a photo of Rory. Emily says that's what they do at malls. Rory says it's fine. Emily tells Lorelai that just because her picture turned out so horribly, it doesn't mean Rory's experience will be so dreadful. Rory asks to what portrait Emily is referring, and Lorelai gloats that the picture was never finished. They had three different artists work on the portrait, and all three quit. "She wouldn't stop scowling," Emily explains. Lorelai clarifies that she was going for "a Billy Idol thing". One Italian man had a nervous breakdown. Emily says she swears she saw him rummaging through their recyclables a year later. Rory says she'll sit if it'll make Richard happy, and Emily says she'll schedule the sitting for the morning. Lorelai offers to teach Rory the "Billy Idol" face, and says how important it is to get the eyes right. Emily interrupts her by smashing something on the tabletop. Lorelai stares as Emily slowly goes back to her drink, and that strange moment takes us to the opening credits.
“ Lorelai tries to think of a name for the new inn, and says 'The Crap Shack' is already taken. This is the woman who names toolboxes and hammers and tiny statues and pillows but she's supposedly bad at naming houses and buildings? I'm not buying that at all. ”
Luke's diner. Jess walks by and ignores a woman holding out her mug for coffee. At a nearby table, Luke is giving Lorelai business advice on the inn. Luke mentions that Lorelai will get to name the inn, and Lorelai explains that she's bad at naming things, what "naming things" means, and that she and Rory could only come up with "The Crap Shack" for their house. Jess walks over with coffee and Lorelai asks how he's doing. He says he's not bleeding, and Lorelai remarks that it's going to be a good day, then. Jess announces that it's 7:45 and asks whether Luke wants him to go to school. He says that Luke will be violating several child-labor laws if he doesn't release Jess. Jess puts the coffee pot on the table and walks off. Luke tells Jess to stay out of trouble. "Guess that means calling off the chickie run down at the salt flax," it sounds like Jess says. My closed captioning gave up on the sentence after "chickie run." Luke yells at Jess to leave. "Wow," Lorelai says. "So much...love." Luke asks whether Lorelai and Sookie have a place in mind. Lorelai says it's the old "Rachel property." Luke isn't so happy that the place is named after his ex-girlfriend. Lorelai explains that they just call it the Rachel property because Rachel took pictures of it, and the name sort of stuck (even though it has a name -- the Dragonfly); Lorelai offers to change it if it bothers Luke. She tries to think of something, and says "The Crap Shack" is already taken. This is the woman who names toolboxes and hammers and tiny statues and pillows but she's supposedly bad at naming houses and buildings? I'm not buying that at all. Luke tells her she doesn't have to change the name of the place on his account. Lorelai asks whether Luke's dad taught him everything about business. Luke says that his dad didn't even have a checking account until Luke got old enough to get one. His dad bought this place with cash and didn't have a bookkeeper or an accountant or anybody. He did it all on his own. Luke says that when he took over the business, he just dove in on his own and took the risk and accepted his fate. Lorelai says she feels the same way, except she doesn't want to just dive in and she's doing it with Sookie and not alone and she can't fail and she doesn't want to tempt fate. But other than that: same philosophy. Luke says he has to get back to work, and asks whether Lorelai is going to write off this lunch as a business expense. Lorelai says she's not paying for it. Nice. Take the man away from his work, make him make you breakfast and give you business advice and then not pay for his time, his food, or his advice. Luke tells Lorelai she's going to do just fine.