We open on Rory and Lorelai walking down the street, discussing their underwear. Lorelai is out, and is walking Commando at the moment. She wonders how Rory has managed still to have underwear. She realizes that Rory has done a secret load of laundry and didn't ask Lorelai if she had anything to put in. Rory promises to do another load of laundry that evening. Lorelai says Rory doesn't have to, but that she hates doing laundry, so maybe she'll just buy herself another pair. They walk away so we can see Miss Patty do her Thanksgiving Dance magic for a few minutes. It must be cold out there in those pumpkin tights.
As Rory and Lorelai enter the diner, they see that Mr. Nutrition (who does have a name -- it's Luke. Have I mentioned that before?) is arguing with a Townie I call Cardigan Man. Cardigan Man thinks that Luke should have decorations in the diner just like the rest of the town. Luke says he won't be putting anything up. As Cardigan Man goes on about the importance of the Autumn Festival and how the diner is in the middle of the town, Lorelai and Rory start interrupting that they'd like some service. They ask for coffee and muffins. Luke and Cardigan Man continue arguing as Lorelai and Rory keep interjecting things, and for the first time, I really don't like Rory and Lorelai. They start with the interrupting, and then they start slamming their hands on the counter and yelling. Then Lorelai starts waving money in front of Luke and "woo"-ing, and then Rory shouts out that Lorelai isn't wearing any underwear. I guess since this show makes me tap into my inner pre-teen, I'm all embarrassed for Lorelai and Rory because I know they're about to get grounded for acting like idiots in public. I certainly would have. I'd have been grounded until I forgot the word for muffin. Lorelai eventually decides to get the food herself and goes behind the counter. Luke hands Lorelai a pair of tongs so she doesn't go touching all the muffins. Touching All the Muffins. The name of my seventeenth album. Lorelai and Rory start to leave the diner, and Luke asks about his tip. Lorelai says, "Oh, yeah -- here's a tip. Serve your customers." Luke counters with, "Here's another. Don't sit on any cold benches." Oh, Lorelai. That's a good tip. Trust me. Wednesday night, I wish I had known that tip. Luke and Cardigan Man go back to bickering about the tiny pilgrim salt and pepper shakers as we fade to the opening credits.
During the opening credits my boyfriend asks if Carole King is still alive. I decide not to talk to him for at least three hours. "Well, I'm just saying. It's good that she's getting some work." Ten. At least ten hours.
Rory gets off the bus and enters the town grocery. CuteDean is with Cardigan Man at a display stand. Cardigan Man is complaining that the cans aren't really set up in the shape of the Mayflower. Rory pretends to be interested in some boxes while she and CuteDean make eye contact. CuteDean ditches Cardigan Man and begins small talk with Rory. He asks if she's got a desperate need for some cornstarch. She says she has some very important thickening needs. She compliments his apron. He compliments her uniform. She makes a joke about the buttons. For the first time, Rory isn't really that awkward around him, and her jokes are actually on topic. He asks if she'd like some "pop." She mocks the pop. He says in Chicago they call it "pop." She says in Connecticut they call it "free soda." She says, "Yes." He puts the can behind his back and tells her that if she guesses what's in each hand, she gets the soda. She complains that the entire point of free soda is that you don't have to do any work for it. He asks her to play along. As she leans forward to speculate on what's in his left hand, CuteDean leans forward and kisses her. He kisses her! This is so much better than my first kiss, where it was Thanksgiving (and yes, I'm aware of another reason that this show is just like my life) and the boy that my mother was making me date came over to my garage and told me that his friend bet him $5 that he wouldn't kiss me. I told him that it was a shame he'd lose $5. He kissed me. I ran into the house, crying hysterically. He took my first kiss. It wasn't a CuteDean kiss. It was a whore kiss. He kissed me for money. I still hate that boy for doing that. My mother thought it was the cutest thing that's ever happened in the world. CuteDean breaks the kiss and looks at Rory. She opens her eyes. "Thank you," she says. Which is the same thing I said after the first time a boy told me that he loved me. Rory and I run awkwardly out of the room as CuteDean watches in confusion. I fall. "I fell!" I shout, and then go running after Rory, giggling and drooling slightly.
Rory runs in traffic, still holding the box of cornstarch. She runs straight to Lane's house. "I got kissed." She holds up the box. "And, and, and I shoplifted." Lane is so happy for her. Rory starts to tell in detail how she got kissed. She said she was in aisle three. "By the bug spray?" Lane asks. Rory says it was. "That's a good aisle," Lane says. Rory asks how Lane knows it's a good aisle. "An aisle where you get kissed by the new kid is a good aisle." Rory says she can't breathe. Lane tells her to sit down. Rory says she can't believe he kissed her. "Who kissed you?" Lane's mother asks. "The...Lord, Mama," Lane says. Hee. Lane's mother is satisfied with that answer and walks away. Lane asks for more details. Rory tells her. Lane says she wants to get some dumb, ugly friends. She tells Rory to go tell her mom. Rory says she can't because her mother doesn't know about CuteDean and the last time she brought him up, it was to not go to Chilton, so her mother doesn't like CuteDean. Lane tells her that she has to tell her mother. Rory starts to go and Lane asks if it was great. "It was perfect," Rory says. We all smile. Rory leaves. I have decided that my first kiss was with CuteDean in aisle three by the bug spray, playing a "guess the soda" game, because that's how it should have been.
Lorelai is in the fridge. All of the food is on the floor around her. She's holding up the phone inside the fridge, asking the person on the line if he or she can hear the noise the fridge is making. The person on the phone keeps making Lorelai make noises with her mouth to describe the noise. Rory puts the box of cornstarch on her dresser and looks at it longingly. Lorelai is still complaining to the appliance people. She demands they come by to fix it. She hangs up and complains about the house to Rory. She kicks things and says she hates her life. Rory pretends to do homework.
Lorelai enters Lane's mother's antique shop. Lane's mother walks up and scares her. "Rory's not here," she says. Lorelai says she came by to pick up the rocker she bought three weeks ago. "Six weeks ago," Lane's mom says, which is pretty close to accurate, since I think that happened in episode one. Lane's mother complains that her shop isn't a "storage facility" and tells Lorelai that she wants her to pick up her things as she buys them. Lorelai apologizes and says she's been busy. Lane's mother says that if Lorelai wasn't so busy, she could probably keep an eye on her daughter and keep her from kissing boys. Lorelai makes a comment that perhaps Lane's mother has been sniffing paint. MamaLane goes on about how Lane is an impressionable girl, and she doesn't need to hear stories about Rory kissing boys in the grocery store. She gets very disgusted and says, "The grocery store. Where we buy our food." Hee. Lorelai asks again what MamaLane means by "kissing in the grocery store." They have MamaLane go full Long Duck Dong to say, "Yes. The grocery store. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss!" Married. Sheesh. Lorelai says she didn't know because Rory didn't tell her. She excuses herself and leaves. "You left your chair!" MamaLane shouts to no one. We fade to commercial.
Oh, how mortifying. Lane and Rory have to wear these pilgrim outfits, sitting at some Cornucopia thing. Lane keeps asking for more details about the kiss. Lane has found out information on CuteDean. He's from Chicago. He likes Nick Drake. What's up with the WB and Nick Drake, by the way? He's allergic to walnuts. He has an old girlfriend in Chicago. Named Beth. Lane's been talking to CuteDean's best friend. Rory hates the name Beth. "It's so...Beth." CuteDean's been talking about Rory non-stop for weeks. They giggle and squeal.
Miss Patty is asking Luke for some autumn decorations. Lorelai sits at a table and watches Rory and Lane giggle in the pumpkins. Luke goes to fill up Lorelai's full coffee and starts yelling when she doesn't respond right away. He yells that he can't believe even she's upset that he hasn't put up a giant turkey. She says she just wasn't listening, but now she's concerned about him. He pours a teaspoon of coffee into her cup and apologizes for yelling. He says she looks upset. She says she isn't. He insists she is. She says she's not. He says she looks like something's on her mind. She says there isn't. He insists. She insists. He insists. She says some streamers would look lovely in the diner. He walks off in a huff. This is the first show where people will sit in my living room and watch the show no matter how long I keep it on pause.
Rory walks in for a quick chat with Lorelai before she goes back out to the pumpkin patch. Lorelai tries to get Rory to talk about the kiss, but Rory's not doing it. Lorelai tells her what's been happening on General Hospital and how two characters have kissed. She asks Rory what she thinks about the kiss. Rory says she thinks they're actors playing a part. Lorelai tries to get Rory just to talk about it, but Rory cuts her off and says she needs to get back to Lane. She runs out. Luke drops off the check and says he's not going to say how Lorelai looks concerned. She says she's not going to say how good he'd look dressed as one of the guys from The Crucible. This show talks quickly. My fingers hurt.
Lorelai walks over to the grocery and sneaks in. She stands by the product-placement packages of Iams and wanders over to the cans of coffee. She stands by some Apple Jacks and watches CuteDean put things into a bag until Luke scares her by saying hello behind her. Lorelai tells Luke that CuteDean kissed Rory and now she's watching him. She calls him smug and dislikes the way he throws lemons into a bag. "They're lemons," Luke says. "They're symbolic," Lorelai growls. "That Lothario has wormed his way into my daughter's heart and her mouth and for that he must die!" Luke tells Lorelai she needs to leave the store. He says she can't kill CuteDean on double-coupon day. He pushes her out of the store. Luke reminds Lorelai that Rory is growing up and there's nothing she can do about it. Lorelai whines that she can't figure out why Rory didn't tell her. She says that CuteDean looks like Christopher and that's sort of creepy. Luke says it's not too surprising that Rory would pick someone similar to a guy that Lorelai would be interested in. Lorelai says they tell each other everything. Luke stresses that this is different because it's about boys. Lorelai says that they have to talk about this because she and her mom wouldn't talk about something like this so she's got to talk about this even though she's not really okay with Rory being interested in boys. She wants Rory to think that she thinks this is all great. Those sentences look like they aren't sentences and that they make no sense, but with the rapid-fire dialogue this show has, that's really the only way I can tell you what's happening. It was like that. Fast and quick and monotonous.
Back at the house Lorelai checks outside the window for Rory. She runs back to the couch to look casual as Rory walks in and apologizes for being late.
Rory's in the fridge getting some food as Lorelai leans in and asks, "So? Kiss any cute boys lately?" Rory mopes out of the fridge. Lorelai starts asking about him. Rory is upset that Lorelai never said she knew all day long. "What now?" Rory asks. "Nothing," Lorelai says. Rory asks if there is going to be a lecture on kissing boys. "No. Why? Did you do it wrong?" Rory: "No...I don't think." Lorelai says these kissing things are bound to happen and that she's thrilled about this. Rory calls bullshit on her. They start snipping about whether or not Lorelai is "fine" about the whole thing. Fade to commercial.
I miss Michel, Drella, Sookie, Sally Struthers, and Jackson. I'm just saying.
Welcome ex-Cursed watchers. You'll be here full-time soon.
Lorelai is dragging Rory to the market, but Rory thinks that they can just have movie night with pizza instead of buying things from CuteDean's store. Rory thinks this is all too weird. Lorelai says she'll be so cool in there "[Rory'll] think [she's] Shaft." Rory goes through a list of rules that Lorelai can't break, like no kissing noises and such. They enter the store, but they don't see CuteDean. Rory is relieved and they start shopping. They grab large amounts of junk food. They turn the corner and spot him. Lorelai says that CuteDean is really tall. "That must have been some backbend for that kiss," she says. "Mom!" "Make sure you warm up time," Lorelai tells her. They continue "shopping" as they check the blue light special. They gush over how cute he is. They go check out. The cashier starts talking to Lorelai about the night's movie rental, and CuteDean gets involved in the conversation. He knows a few things about Willie Wonka. This seems to impress Lorelai just a bit. Rory introduces Lorelai to CuteDean. They are all very friendly. CuteDean and Rory make a few moments of goo-eyes and then CuteDean walks off. Lorelai calls Rory "Supermarket Slut." Rory tells Lorelai that even a little bit of information in her hands is dangerous. They leave the store. Outside, Lorelai tells Rory that she needs coffee. She tells Rory to run to the video store and check out the film while she goes for coffee. She says they'll meet back at Luke's. CuteDean runs out and stops Lorelai to tell her that she forgot her Red Vines. She says he totally saved the night. Okay, I think they changed CuteDean's hair. It's not as cute anymore. Unfortunately, right now, it's rather... Theo. As CuteDean walks back into the store, Lorelai invites him over for the movie. He stammers and looks around. Lorelai says she's sure Rory would love it. He says he'll go. Lorelai walks away.
On the walk home, Lorelai wonders what kind of a world is it where no one has rented Willy Wonka. She tells Rory that she has good news and that CuteDean is coming to watch the movie, too. Rory does not find this to be good news at all. She starts whining that she didn't want her first date with CuteDean to be with her mother. She says that this isn't Amish country and that boys and girls aren't supposed to have dates with their mother hanging around. Lorelai says she wasn't thinking of this as a date but more like a "hanging out session." Rory wonders in what universe would Lorelai think that Rory would want to first hang out with CuteDean with her mother. Lorelai asks Rory to stop saying the word "mother" like that -- "like there's supposed to be another word after it." Rory says she feels humiliated. Lorelai assures her that she's just overreacting. Rory can't believe that this boy she likes is now forced to come over and "eat crap and watch a movie." Lorelai continues to whine that she was just trying to do a nice thing, but the more she whines, the more she looks like my last boss who used to wiggle and moan outside my office door, begging me to go get drunk with her after work. Rory says that this is like Lorelai's mother inviting a boy Lorelai liked over for dinner. Lorelai is crushed at the notion of comparing her to her mother and says she'll tell CuteDean that the movie night is cancelled. Rory says she can't cancel or it'll look like she wigged out. Lorelai says she'll just stay hidden in the other room and leave them alone. Rory says that'll look like her mother arranged a date for her. "What'll we do?" Lorelai asks. "He has to come," Rory says, with this incredible pout that shows the fear and nausea of having to have the boy you like hang out at your house and meet your family before you're even sure if he likes you. Because you want the boy to really, really like you before he enters the house. When he enters the house, he gets an idea of What You'll Become. You want him secure in his likehood before he gets a chance to back out at the vision of you washing dishes and dancing to A-Ha. Rory and Lorelai both put on fake smiles and try and pretend it'll be fine.
Lorelai finds Rory in her bedroom with all of her clothes on her bed. She's just staring at all of the sweaters and tops as they sit in a pile. Lorelai offers to help her get ready for CuteDean. Rory says that she's "supposed to look pretty and girlie, which is completely impossible because [she's] gross and [she has] nothing to wear." Lorelai picks up a purple sweater and roots around until she finds a top that says "hip" and "cute" but also "relaxed." Rory marvels at how her mother can turn a top into an outfit. Lorelai says she has years of experience in the "fashion brain-freeze." Rory asks how her mother is so good with men. She says that Lorelai's always funny and makes them laugh and then does this hair-flip thing (Lorelai corrects her and shows that it's actually a twirl) and completely amazes the guy. Rory says she'll never be able to do that: "Trig, I can do. But boys? And dating? I'm a total spaz." Lorelai sits down to Rory and says, "Listen. The talking part? You just get used to. The hair twirl I can teach you. The leaving him amazed part? With your brain and killer eyes, I'm not worried." She tells Rory just to give it time and she'll get better at these things. She tells Rory to hustle and get ready. "We've got a man coming over."
Cut to the two nervous Gilmores sitting on the sofa, waiting in front of a full table of junk food. He's a bit late. Lorelai goes to the door and sees CuteDean trapped by the warbly chatter of Sally Struthers. Lorelai runs out and saves him. She asks him to go help Rory in the kitchen. CuteDean goes into the house with a look of horror. Sally Struthers approves of Rory's new boyfriend. Lorelai insists that they are just friends. "That's not what I heard," Sally smiles. "Kissing in the market. Gives a whole new meaning to Tasting Day!" She laughs as Lorelai says, "Ooookay," and excuses herself to go back into the house. Sally goes on about how Rory and CuteDean's kids would be gorgeous as Lorelai uncomfortably shuffles inside. Fade to commercial.
CuteDean apologizes for being late. He says he got there half an hour ago. All three stand for a second in silence. Lorelai makes the small talk about Stars Hollow. They discuss trees for a second. Lorelai launches right into a story about how when Rory was little, she heard that one of the trees was called a weeping willow so she would spend hours trying to cheer it up. She'd tell it jokes and talk to it. Lorelai keeps talking but sees Rory staring at her, and she doesn't miss a beat to stare back at Rory and say, "No, I'm sorry. That was me." She gives CuteDean a tour of the house. As she's talking, Rory is giving signals. Lorelai looks down and hides two naked baby pictures of Rory before CuteDean notices. The doorbell rings and Lorelai leaves CuteDean to Rory while she goes to answer it.
After a few words about Lorelai's energy, CuteDean asks what's behind the closed door. Rory says it's her bedroom. CuteDean lets himself in to check it out. He says it's clean. Rory stays in the doorway entrance. CuteDean walks right over to the Nick Drake CD on her stereo (I'm sure just casually placed there) and says that it sucks that "Pink Moon" was used in a Volkswagen commercial. Rory says, "Oh, I know," but looks like, "I hope we don't keep talking about this, since I just borrowed the CD from Lane." CuteDean asks if Rory's going to come into the room. She says that she's actually enjoying the view of her room from the doorway. She doesn't do that often. He asks if he should leave. She says she doesn't mind him looking around. He holds up a stuffed chicken. "Nice chicken." She says she's changed her mind about him looking around.
Sookie is at the door with dessert. Lorelai tells her she'll have to leave, or Rory will freak if she thinks Lorelai's invited the entire neighborhood over to check out CuteDean. Sookie just wants to look for a second. Lorelai again tells Sookie that she has to go right when the pizza guy arrives. There's this strange line exchange between Lorelai and the Pizza Guy ("How're you doing?" "Awesome!") that makes me think Pizza Guy is a friend of someone on the show. Sookie keeps stalling by asking about the pizza until Lorelai shoves her out the door. Rory walks up and asks about the pizza. Lorelai is just holding the dessert. Sookie shows up at the door. "Pizza!" She walks in and introduces herself to CuteDean. She accidentally says his name. She stammers on about how she didn't know that he was a Dean but that he looks like a Dean. Rory is clearly mortified. Sookie hands over the pizza and leaves. CuteDean takes the pizza into the living room. Lorelai says she didn't invite Sookie. Rory leans in and whispers, "Why don't you just set up a web camera and broadcast it all over the Internet?" "Because I don't think that big!" Lorelai squints back. Rory runs off.
CuteDean is opening the pizza, saying that he's happy with their choice. They all begin eating.
Pizza fade to show time passing. The three are on the floor. Lorelai asks who needs more pizza. Rory says she does. "Wow. You can eat," CuteDean says inappropriately. "Yes, I can," Rory smiles back. She then asks if that's supposed to be a bad thing, like perhaps she's not supposed to eat. CuteDean says he likes girls that eat, and that most girls don't. Rory asks if they could not talk about her eating habits anymore. This is something that I'll have to call bullshit on right here. If this is the first boy Rory's crushed on, there's no way she'd have touched one slice of pizza. Entirely too nervous. She might suck on a Red Vine or something, but the thought of eating, or perhaps getting sauce on her chin or that cheese string from the floor to her mouth would be way to potentially embarrassing to even attempt. She'd be on a strict liquid diet out of fear. Lorelai begins gushing over the Oompa-Loompas. Rory teases her about dreaming of marrying an Oompa-Loompa. Lorelai says that at least she likes things that are "live," whereas Rory has an unhealthy obsession with Prince Charming, because he's a cartoon. Rory stammers that she likes the Sleeping Beauty Prince Charming, and not the Cinderella Prince Charming. CuteDean cuts in to say, "Because he can dance." See? He knows. He understands. CuteDean is CutePerfect. Although I'm still not liking this hair they have on him this week. It's showing his squinty eyes that I hadn't noticed before. Now I'm picking out flaws on CuteDean. What's wrong with me? He says he understands because he has sisters. Lorelai asks for some embarrassing childhood stories from CuteDean. He says he doesn't have any. Rory says she bets she knows one. "The theme from Ice Castles makes you cry." He says that's not true. Lorelai tries to guess another: "Um, at the end of The Way We Were, you wanted Robert Redford to dump his wife and kid for Barbra Streisand." CuteDean says he's never seen The Way We Were. The Gilmores are shocked. They declare the movie night for The Way We Were. Lorelai gets up to get some popcorn. CuteDean asks when "The Outsider" gets to choose a movie for Movie Night. Rory says it depends on what movie he was considering. CuteDean offers Boogie Nights. Now there's a movie you want to watch with your new girlfriend and her mother. Great job, CuteDean. Maybe Sookie can come over, too, and afterwards all three will ask you if you're anywhere close to Dirk Diggler's abilities. Rory explains that Lorelai hated Magnolia so much that they probably can't watch any more PTA movies. They watch the Oompa-Loompas a bit longer. Lorelai looks in through the door and sees Rory and CuteDean sharing a moment. She walks back into the kitchen and sits down to read a catalog.
Time passes. CuteDean hands Rory a pillow to make her more comfortable on the floor. She watches him watch the television. Ooh, I know that stare. She's just sitting there staring, watching his face. Watching him watch television. Burning the image of his forehead, nose, and chin into her brain so later on she can replay this scene but change the ending so that he turns to her and declares his love. Or turns to her and asks her to run away with him. Or turns to her and tells her she's beautiful. Or turns to her and says she's much prettier than Beth. Or turns to her and says that he can't imagine life before he met her. Or turns to her and hands her his mother's ring, the one he's been wanting to give to someone, but he hadn't met the right woman until now. I know that stare well. ["Uh, guilty as well." --niki] She stares until he begins to turn towards her. Then she looks back at the television. CuteDean watches Rory watching television. "Hey," he says. He could say anything right now. He's staring at her, smiling. One knee is up and wiggling back and forth. He's looking at her. His hair is over one eye. He's looking at her. "Hey," he said, starting a world of possibilities. "I'll be right back," Rory and I say and run from the room before HeyBoy gets a chance to ruin the perfect evening. Just in case he was going to finish "Hey" with, "You've still got some pizza cheese on your chin."
Rory finds Lorelai and asks why she's not back in the living room. Lorelai asks why she has to go back in there. "Did the bad boy try something?" Rory huffs, "He's sitting there and he's watching the movie and he's perfect and he smells really good!" Lorelai stares. "What?" "He smells really good and he looks amazing. And I am stupid! I said 'Thank you!'" Lorelai: "Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You said, 'Thank you?'" Rory: "When he kissed me." Lorelai is disgusted that he kissed her again already, in the house, so soon. Rory says she was referring to the first time they kissed -- the only time they kissed. Lorelai: "So, wait. He kissed you? And you said, 'Thank you?'" Rory spits out an embarrassed, "Yes." "Well, that was very polite." Hee. I love this show. Rory says it was stupid and she doesn't know what she's doing and now she's all alone with him and Lorelai isn't being a very good chaperone. Lorelai says she wasn't trying to be a chaperone but was trying just to be a good friend. "Well, switch gears, because I'm freaking out here!" Rory shouts. Lorelai smiles, feeling good to be needed as a mom. "You really like him, don't you?" she asks. Rory says she does and she doesn't want to do or say anything moronic. Lorelai says she probably can't help her with that if Rory's got her heart in it. They make an elaborate plan for Lorelai to go into the living room first and say that Rory's in the bathroom because she had to wash her face because of all the sugar. Somehow that sounds okay to the two of them. I guess it's better than saying, "Rory's gotta poo," which would immediately send Rory into the Bedroom of Shame for at least six months.
Lorelai brings the popcorn over to CuteDean and spits out the Bathroom Face Washing excuse. The popcorn never moves no matter how much Lorelai swings around that bowl. Lorelai watches CuteDean watch the movie. She turns off the television and turns to him. She says that they have a very different kind of household and that Rory is her daughter. CuteDean interrupts to say, "Ah. Here comes the talk." Lorelai deadpans back, "How 'bout I talk. You listen?" CuteDean shuts up. Lorelai says that the fact that Rory likes CuteDean means he must be a good guy and that the entire town loves Rory and if he hurts her, everyone will hate him. "This is a very small, weird place you moved to." CuteDean says he's noticed that. "So, just know all eyes are on you." CuteDean asks if there's anything else. Lorelai: "She's not going on your motorcycle." CuteDean: "I don't have a motorcycle." Lorelai: "She's not going on your motorcycle." Hee. CuteDean's new hair makes his ears stick out. I don't like it at all. CuteDean says that Rory won't be going on his motorcycle. Lorelai says that curfew will be enforced. Schoolwork will be done. She says he has to handle the lemons better. She says she can change any rule at any time. He asks if he can speak. "You can lay on all the rules you want. And you can have the whole town spy on me and stare at me and chase me through the streets..." But he's not going anywhere, is the gist. He says he needs Lorelai not to hate him. He knows that if Lorelai doesn't like him, he doesn't have any chance with Rory. Lorelai says she wants to like him. "But you don't," he says. She says she wants to, and she usually gets what she wants. "Fair enough," CuteDean says. They go back to the television. CuteDean remarks that it's taking Rory a long time to wash her face. Lorelai says that Rory is a perfectionist.
Man, once. Once I had a boy stand up to my parents to try and make me feel better. He did it in this underhanded way where I knew he was standing up to my parents but I don't think that they did. Therefore he was smart. He made me feel like I had a hero while they thought their daughter was seeing a smart boy. But the boyfriend I had that my mother didn't like? He never stood a chance. He disliked her for disliking him, and it spiraled out of control until my mother answered the phone one evening when he called, and she told him that I didn't want to see him anymore. After fixing that, he became even weirder to me and eventually I didn't want to see him anymore. I'd like to thank him, however, for making every single boy in my life afterwards seem to my mother like The Golden Perfect Boy Specimen. It's been much easier to bring boys home after that.
CuteDean and Rory are outside the house. CuteDean asks Rory to thank her mother for him. She apologizes for it being weird. He said he had a good time. They kiss. More kissing. Oh, such a nice kiss. He raises his eyebrows. "Thank you," he smiles. He laughs a small laugh and leaves the porch.
Rory lays down on the bed to Lorelai. Lorelai asks if she humiliated her. Rory asks what she said to CuteDean while she was in the bathroom. "That you're pretty," Lorelai smiles. "Liar," Rory smiles back. Rory stands up to go to bed. She asks Lorelai what's wrong. Lorelai eventually stammers out that she wished Rory had told her about the kiss. Rory apologizes. Lorelai says she's not mad, she just wanted to hear about it. She says she's fine and she's sorry for moping. Rory starts to go but turns around and says it's a little late, but...Lorelai sits up and says, "Start at the beginning. If you leave anything out, you die." Rory sits down and giggles through the beginning of the story. Lorelai interrupts to say the bug spray aisle is a good aisle. Rory says she knows, and that's what Lane said, and they talk and giggle as we fade out.
week is the repeat of the pilot episode. And even though my Thanksgiving dinner table will be full, my heart will be just a bit empty without Rory and Lorelai's laughter filling my holiday evening.