I'm back. Did you miss me? Props to ragdoll for covering the last couple of weeks while I gathered all of my belongings and moved to L.A.
We open on the usual Friday Night Rumble between Lorelai and Emily. Emily mentions between snips that her lawyer is coming by tomorrow. Emily tells Rory to go around the house after dinner and put Post-It Notes on everything she'd like them to leave her in their will. Rory declares that anything they want to leave her would be fine, but Emily says she'd rather Rory get things that she'd like to have. My roommate leans over and tells me that he did the same thing in his grandparents' house after they passed away. ["My grandma asked us to do that, too, and she's only in her sixties. All the stuff I mentioned was really small -- this ladybug-shaped stapler she kept on her desk in her bedroom, a honey pot shaped like a little beehive -- and she ended up giving those things to me when I got married. Aw. But anyway." -- Wing Chun] Between sips of beer, he offers, "As gross as it sounds, it's very efficient." I look up at his antique fan entwined with cow bones that now sits on our fireplace mantel and wonder if that once had a yellow Post-It stuck to the blade scribbled with, "Mine. Nuh-uh. Go away. Nothing to see here." Lorelai says that her parents have hit a new level of low that even she must marvel at. Emily says she can pick out things as well. Lorelai smiles and says, "Oh. Now it's way less creepy." Emily raises her cup, looks at Grandpa and says, "Did you hear that, Richard? Apparently, we're creepy." "Creepy" is a very fun word to say. Dessert is then served and Lorelai is amazed that the crystal bowls contain pudding. She loves pudding, but can't believe they are actually getting to eat pudding. There is much repetition of the word "pudding." Rory wiggles and says she's never had pudding out of a crystal bowl before. Emily says if Rory likes the bowl she should put a Post-It Note on it afterwards. Rory gives a snooty "I might just do that" head-bob. Silent mouth-gape from Lorelai. Silent smile and nod from Emily. Silent smile and head-lowering from Grandpa. Fade to opening credits.
Okay. I missed this show.
Rory and Lorelai hold pads of Post-Its and debate over a giant vase in the living room. Rory comments that this is the strangest evening she's ever spent over there. Emily walks in and asks how they're doing. "Great. Just getting ready for the big day," Lorelai smiles. Emily asks whether there are any special requests for week's dinner and Lorelai says she needs to talk to her about that. She kicks Rory out of the room. Emily asks if she should sit down. Lorelai says she should: "Oh, but not there. We've got a Post-It on that, and we'd like to keep it nice." Emily responds, "It must be very exhausting to be you," which is a line I like to tell people. I really do love this show. Lorelai explains that Friday is Rory's birthday and she'd like to move the dinner to Saturday instead. Emily asks whether they already have plans for Rory's birthday. They don't. Emily says she'll throw the party for Rory at her place on Friday. There's a back-and-forth about Friday versus Saturday (including the "the rules were made when you took the loan for Rory's school" argument again) and Lorelai puts her foot down and says that she will have Rory's party at her own house on Friday and that's it.
Cut to the interior of the car where Lorelai asks Rory, "So...how would you like to have two parties this year?" Rory is disappointed that Lorelai couldn't get Emily to change the dinner date to Saturday. Lorelai says, "But she did agree to make the string quartet learn Like A Virgin." Lorelai promises that the Saturday party will be a blast: "A Stars Hollow extravaganza." Rory asks if Emily's party will be a big deal. Lorelai says it's not going to be a big thing, but that the banks will be closed, the flags will fly at half-mast, and that Barbra Streisand will give her farewell performance "again." She adds that the Pope has plans, but that Elvis and Jim Morrison will show up, "and they're bringing chips." "You ask a simple question..." Rory mutters.
Sookie is going through the menu for Rory's party. Lorelai has pictures. I don't have the time to recap the seven-thousand-word sentence that Lorelai goes off on here, but know that she starts telling Sookie about the pudding from last night, and that Emily's serving pudding means that she's been paying attention to what she and Rory have been saying lately, and that it's a big step in the right direction towards reaching out to two of them. She says that Emily normally thinks that pudding is hospital food that is only to be eaten if you're losing a vital organ. The word "pudding" is said so many times that now every time they say the word "pudding" it's like they're putting one finger into the curve of my side and giggling, "Dookie!" Hi. I'm seven. Jackson walks in and tells Sookie to open her mouth and close her eyes. He pops a berry into her mouth. Sookie is amazed by the berry. She says that it's like a berry, "but way more exotic." Jackson brags that he's figured out how to cross-pollinate a raspberry with a kumquat. The ladies are very proud of him. Jackson bum-rushes Michel and tells him that he can make fun of him all he wants because today Mother Nature has bowed down to Jackson. "How nice for her," Michel Frenches. "You can't cross a raspberry with a kumquat," my roommate mutters. "Jackass." As Lorelai leaves the room, she invites Michel to Rory's party and tells him to start coming up with reasons he can't make it. He says he'll be out of town. She says he used that last year. He says he'll work on it and get back to her.
Lorelai walks into the house to find Rory on the phone in the kitchen. Lorelai stands behind Rory and whines, "Justin, he's so dreamy! He just can't marry Britney, I'll just cry and cry and cry!" Rory hangs up the phone and says the pizza is on the way. Lorelai smiles, "You're such a good provider." Rory goes off to do her homework as the phone rings. It's Emily. She asks Lorelai if she can go shopping with her tomorrow to pick out a birthday present for Rory. She says she wants to get Rory something special, something she'll like: "Something you'd get for her." "Okay, fine," Lorelai says, "Then you can get her the bong." Emily says she's serious. She hardly gets to know Rory at all because every week they just chit-chat about school and friends. Lorelai says she'll go with her then. They make plans to meet at three the day. "And dress app--" Emily starts, before Lorelai tells her not to finish that sentence.
Chilton. Rory opens her locker as Ryan Phillllipppe leans in and wishes her a happy birthday. She says it's not her birthday. He says that, on Friday, it will be. She asks how he knows that. Choppy sentences. As boring to watch as they are to read here. He pulls out an invitation and begins reading. What he reads isn't on the invitation we're shown. Philllipppe starts with "On Friday..." but the invite says, "On the morning of October eighth at four-o-three in the morning Emily and Richard Gilmore were blessed with a perfect baby granddaughter Lorelai Leigh. Please join us this Friday to celebrate this joyous occasion. Seven o'clock. Black tie optional." Rock on with my pause button skillz. I guess everyone knows where they live. ["Maybe it was on the RSVP card." -- Wing Chun] Rory asks how many people got one of these invitations. Philllipppe guesses that most of the kids in the class probably did. The opening strains to that "Happy Birthday" song from Sixteen Candles starts playing. You know, when Molly Ringwald is taking the sex test? Rory is horrified and walks away. He shouts that he'll see her Friday. As Rory walks down the hall she sees the other kids whispering and staring at her, complaining that their parents are forcing them to go to her party.
The "Happy Birthday" song continues as Lorelai and Emily walk through a department store. You can figure this one out. Emily picks out something stuffy; Lorelai picks out something funky. They debate about what you can do with a purse shaped like a guitar case. Emily wants to get her a double string of pearls and a cashmere sweater set. Or a Mont Blanc pen. Lorelai finds some spiffy day planners and a pencil with a mermaid eraser. Emily decides to give up until Lorelai gives her the pep talk with the battle cry "Pudding." Emily acts like she doesn't know why pudding has any significance. Emily looks around and finds some spirit bracelets. Lorelai says they're perfect. Emily doesn't want to spend just twelve dollars on a gift. Lorelai says Rory will love it. Emily says she'll get it: "Oh! It lights up!" Lorelai gives a strange forced laugh and Emily gives a "wah-wa-waaaah" eye roll as the scene ends awkwardly. Um, hi. Can I have the cashmere sweater set? You know, just since you have that extra cash lying around. Don't listen to Lorelai, by the way. All girls want cashmere. It's soft.
Lorelai walks into the diner and sits down with Mr. Nutrition. He stops making some scrapple to tell her that Rory isn't there yet. Lorelai says he'll have to entertain her: "Okay, Burger Boy. Dance!" "Will you marry me?" he asks. "What?" she gasps. "Just looking for something to shut you up," he mumbles. She invites him to Rory's party, and says she'd like him to come. He says he'll see. Rory walks in and pouts over to her table. "Nice face you got on, there," Lorelai says. Rory says she's used the word "sucks" so much it's lost all meaning. Lorelai pulls out a pile of tulle and shows Rory the party dresses she picked up today. "So, it's a Halloween party?" Rory asks. I think "tulle" must be some sort of catchword to the writing staff, because it's used more often on this show than it is on Martha Stewart Living. Lorelai recaps the mall experience and is quite happy that the two of them got along so well all day long. Rory is so shocked that Lorelai is happy about spending time with Emily that she doesn't mention that she's kinda pissed about Emily inviting all of her nemeses to her party. Mr. Nutrition walks over and brings up the Saturday party again, so that Lorelai and Rory can wax nostalgic about past birthday parties, including Rory's eighth where the cops busted the party and arrested the clown. Lorelai asks what's wrong, and Rory covers it up by saying she got an 'A -' on a test. Lorelai says that an 'A -' "is awesome." Lorelai promises to fix the dresses up to make them funky. "Happy Birthday" plays us into the commercial break.
Lorelai wakes Rory up at 4:03 ["the time on the party invitation, remember? When Rory was born? That's so cute." -- Wing Chun] in the morning and climbs into her bed. She wishes her a happy birthday. Lorelai says that Rory is growing up so fast and asks her how she likes her life so far. Rory says she thinks it's pretty good. "Any complaints?" Lorelai asks. "I'd like that whole humidity thing to go away," Rory suggests. Lorelai says that she'll work on it. Rory asks if she looks any older. Lorelai says that if Rory walks into Denny's before five she'll get a discount. Lorelai starts telling Rory how great a person she is, and then launches into the story of Rory's birth, which Rory has clearly heard before (since she's finishing sentences for her). As Lorelai continues, Rory tells her that she loves her, and goes to sleep on her shoulder. I now have three cavities.
Lane and Rory walk into the diner and Mr. Nutrition grumps that they need to sit at the table where he blew up the "stupid balloons" and made the "stupid coffee cake" for her. Rory calls Mr. Nutrition "an old softie" and runs over to the party table. Lane asks Rory if she's okay. "I'm getting old, Lane," she whines. Rory says she's dreading the party that evening (and wow, this week went by quickly, by the way), and that she doesn't want people thinking she needs her grandmother to get people to come to her party. Lane asks what Lorelai thinks of it all. Rory says she didn't tell Lorelai "because of the pudding." Why is this episode not called "Pudding"? As Rory realizes that she can probably stand all of this for one night, the hair on the back of my neck starts to tingle. I hear the chimes of the diner door. Rock on, it's CuteDean. Rory stares at him while Lane keeps talking to her. CuteDean orders a coffee to go and keeps looking and smiling at Rory. She keeps wiggling in her seat and looking down. As he walks to the door, he turns back towards her, smiles, looks through his hair and mouths, "Happy Birthday." "Thank you," I mouth back. Rory blushes and smiles so hard that Lane asks what's going on. Rory tells her she was just thinking about pudding, of course. I'm thinking about pudding some of my body parts on CuteDean. ["Get in line." -- Wing Chun]
Emily is barking orders at her staff as they set up the party. She demands to have the candles set six inches apart: "Get a ruler." Grandpa mentions that some of his business associates are coming to the party. Emily starts yipping that Grandpa can't talk business at his granddaughter's party. He interrupts her to say she looks lovely this evening. The doorbell rings. It's Lorelai and Rory. "Geez, Mom. Leave some servants for the rest of the neighborhood," Lorelai jokes. Bwa-ha-ha. Richie humor, again. Rory is still in her school uniform, so who knows what time it is, really. She goes off to change. Lorelai drops her coat and we can see that she's taken the lovely formal dress that Emily purchased and made it look like something Romy and or Michele wore. Emily asks whether Lorelai turned Rory's dress into a hat. Lorelai shoots back, "Nice candles. Six inches apart?" Lorelai gets that lazy-eyed smirk that we all fell in love with on Sandra Bullock, and walks away.
The party is rocking. If you find a room full of grown-ups having a lovely soirée to piano music to be "rocking." Lorelai hands Rory a Shirley Temple. Rory asks what Lorelai is drinking, and Lorelai says it's a "Shirley Temple Black." They complain about the food and generally mope around until Emily runs over, grabs Rory and says she wants to introduce her to some people. Lorelai is immediately flanked by "Mitzy," who is just as bitchy as her name implies. She makes little snips at Lorelai while saying she's working at being less rude. Mitzy snaps and has someone take her drink. Mitzy says that Rory really looks like Christopher. "Does that kill you?" she asks. After a few minutes of Mitzy asking about Lorelai's pregnancy and the estranged father of her child, Lorelai excuses herself to talk to anyone else.
Grandpa is talking business with the boys until Rory walks up. Grandpa introduces her to the men, and they all hand her envelopes from their pockets while distractedly wishing her a happy birthday. Emily grabs Rory and tells her she needs to say hello to all of her "school friends" in the library. Rory tries to excuse herself to the bathroom, but Emily pushes her into the room. Two boys stare at Rory from the fireplace and say loud enough for all to hear, "Who is that?" "I think it's her party." "Oh." Rory gets embarrassed and turns around, only to find everyone's favorite snot, Paris. Paris says that her parents made her come; otherwise, she wouldn't be there. Rory starts to leave as Paris shouts, "You believe me, don't you?" Rory walks all of three feet only to walk into Ryan Philllipppe, who smiles and makes a crack about her greeting him at the door. "Hello, Tristan," Rory Newmans. He asks for a birthday kiss. She says that it's her birthday. He tells her that he's madly in love with her. "Well, good luck with that," she says. He says he wakes up in the middle of the night calling her name: "Rory! Rory!" She tells him to shut up. "Rory!" This time it's Grandpa. Philllipppe introduces himself to Grandpa but adds his last name, which Grandpa knows, of course. Grandpa tells Rory he approves of her friends. One of Grandpa's cronies walks in and starts debating business again; Grandpa excuses himself. Philllipppe brags that Grandpa likes him and then asks Rory to go for a walk with him. She says it's stupid because he doesn't even like her but has this weird need to prove that she'll go out with him. He tells her that she will end up going out with him eventually, so she might as well do it now. Rory says she's going to get her mother. Philllipppe smarms, "Wow. Meeting your mom. Well, it's a bit sudden, but, okay. I'm ready." Whatever, ClichéBoy. Go buy more hair wax. I can see your cowlick. As Philllipppe walks off, Paris has a quiet moment leaning against a doorframe watching him walk. She's sad. She's lonely. She loves her some Philllipppe. Of course she does.
In a strange leap-of-faith moment, Emily just happens to be standing around talking to Lorelai as Rory walks past. Emily grabs Rory and tells her that it's time to say a few words to all of her guests, thanking them for coming. Lorelai tries to get Rory out of the job, but Emily says it's what Rory is supposed to do since it's her party. Rory freaks out on Emily and says, "I am not the hostess. You are." Lorelai tries to calm Rory down but Rory goes on, telling Emily, "This is your party and these are your guests and I don't have anything to say to them, so you give the speech." Emily is shocked. Rory excuses herself. Lorelai asks, "What was that all about?" As three catty women holding champagne glasses stand behind Emily and stare, Emily turns to Lorelai and says, "Lorelai, your daughter has no manners whatsoever. You should be ashamed of yourself." Emily walks off and Lorelai wonders aloud how this all turned out to be her fault. Rory really didn't have to blow up in front of Emily in front of everyone. It only made her look like a bigger baby. She should have pulled Emily into the debating room. Because if anyone that age sassed someone Emily's age in front of those people, she would have been answered by a smack to the face. I'm just sayin'. ["She should have kept her voice down, for sure, but Emily also shouldn't have expected her to give a damn speech at a party she didn't want to have full of people she was either indifferent to, or hated. I just see where Rory's coming from, is all." -- Wing Chun]
There's this quick bumper before we go back to the episode telling people the basic plotline of Gilmore Girls for those just turning in. I guess Cursed is sending people our way. Welcome.
Lorelai finds Rory in her old room. Rory apologizes for snapping at Emily. She tells Lorelai that all of those Chilton kids were invited without Emily's asking Rory. Lorelai asks why Rory didn't tell her about it. Rory said she didn't want to spoil the peace between Emily and Lorelai. Lorelai says Rory will just apologize and things will be better, and adds that it's strange being back in that bedroom. She points at the giant dollhouse at the foot of the bed and says, "You know they gave this to me with the glass on." Rory says that she officially knows what it must have been like for Lorelai growing up in that house. Lorelai replies, "It's not official until you're huddled in a corner eating your hair." Rory asks about Lorelai's last birthday in that house. Lorelai says that she fought with her parents; Lorelai was pregnant but her parents didn't know. After the fight she ended up back in that room. Lorelai says that when she told her parents she was pregnant, it was the only time that they looked small to her. Emily walks in and tells them that they are being very rude. Rory tries to apologize, but Emily tells her to leave the room.
Emily stands at the door saying goodbye to her guests as the last ones leave. Lorelai thanks her for the party, and Rory asks if she can talk to her for a second. Emily calls Grandpa over instead. Grandpa tells Rory that he knows Emily already bought a gift and signed his name to it -- "It was part of the agreement when we got married" -- But he got her something else. He hands her an envelope "for Fez." I like this; they don't go into this giant "What Fez Means" thing, and just assume that we're all intelligent and can carry story lines over from one episode to the . Even after just welcoming new viewers to the show, they aren't dumbing it down to catch everyone up. It's a nice touch. Grandpa tells Rory that she's a good girl, and wishes her a happy birthday. Emily tells Rory and Lorelai that they should get going. Rory invites her to her party tomorrow, but Emily tells her she has other plans. Lorelai tells Rory to go to the car without her. I smell a showdown.
As Emily barks at the help again, Lorelai tells her that she should come to the birthday party. Emily says that she was humiliated this evening and doesn't want to do that again. Lorelai says that Emily shouldn't have invited all of the schoolkids without asking Rory first. Emily says that she assumed they were Rory's friends. Lorelai says that Emily knows what they say when you assume things. Emily says she doesn't know. Lorelai stammers, "That...you...shouldn't." "Very clever," sniffs Emily. Lorelai says that Rory doesn't like those kids. Emily says that it was good manners to invite the Chilton kids, but that Rory doesn't have any manners. Lorelai tells Emily that she's doing the same thing to Rory she used to do to Lorelai, in that she tries to control her but when she can't she just shuts her out. Emily says she's too tired to continue arguing and offers to go find a pencil for Lorelai to write down her insults for tomorrow so she doesn't forget them. Lorelai says that she has a "crushed kid out in the car." Emily says she'll just forget about it all if that helps. Lorelai brings up the pudding again. More bickering. Emily tells Lorelai that she did all of this work on this party for Rory, and Rory didn't care. Lorelai says that all Rory needs is for her to come to her party. More arguing. Lorelai says that Emily doesn't know her at all. Emily snaps that Lorelai isn't as mysterious as she likes to think she is, and that right now she's being very rude and disruptive to the staff that's trying to clean up. Emily starts screaming at the staff and Lorelai says she gives up, and turns to go. Emily starts, "If I had a dollar for every time you gave up..." and Lorelai finishes, "Then you could pay for this party, couldn't you?" Silence. End of scene.
The morning while everyone prepares for Rory's party, Rory announces that she's off to the college fair. She wants to see if there's a new Harvard brochure with new pictures.
Rory walks up to the Harvard table and asks for a brochure. Paris walks up and asks Rory what she's doing at the Harvard table. "Oh, no," Rory moans. Paris tells Rory that ten generations of her family have gone to Harvard so she has to go too. She tells Rory to go to Brandeis. "Brandeis is nice," Paris tosses, as Brandeis University offers Paris a big, "Thanks, Bitch." Rory tells Paris that she's only ever wanted to go to Harvard. She says that it's a big school and that they'd probably never see each other. They seem to settle on that. Paris starts to walk off, then turns around and asks Rory if she's dating Philllipppe. Rory is insulted. Paris asks if Rory likes him. Rory says, "Not even a little." Paris turns to leave but stops again and tells Rory it was a nice party. Clearly this girl is making the effort to be nice to Rory and possibly make friends, but Rory doesn't even notice. Point for Paris.
The party is rocking. Miss Patty arrives and says hello to everyone. Rory is dressed in a tiara and boa and opens her present from Lorelai. It's a blueberry iBook. Wow. That's like, one week at Chilton, yo. Lorelai tells her, "It's blue. It has a handle!" That's the same thing I shouted when I got my own blueberry iBook. Rory says it's too expensive and Lorelai says that's what she told the guy at the store. Sookie walks in with a birthday cake. Rory's face is represented in the icing. Everyone sings to Rory. Drella is sadly absent. Here's a nice touch: during all of this, Michel is sitting in a chair in the background talking on his cell phone. Rory takes about four tries to blow out her candles, so I hope she wasn't wishing for Harvard. Lorelai stands up to propose a toast to Rory. She says that Rory is the reason that she gets up in the morning. As they start to cut the cake the doorbell rings. "Geez, who the hell is ringing the bell? It's a party, get your ass in here!" It's Grandpa and Emily, of course. Insert record scratching sound here. "Or...asses, I guess," Lorelai stammers as we fade to commercial.
Dear Vaniqua. I highly recommend that you change your product's name. Because when I look at the warning at the bottom of the screen very quickly it always looks like it says, "Vagina was studied around women's lips and under their chins." It creeps me out. I don't like it. Please stop. Love, Pamie.
Rory is very happy to see her grandparents and gives them a giant hug. She asks where Grandpa's tie is. He says he thought he'd "mix it up a little." Rory then shows Emily that she's wearing her bracelets. Lorelai introduces them to everyone. Miss Patty walks up and introduces herself and flirts with Grandpa. Lorelai offers to get them a drink. Emily declines. Lorelai tells her that she's going to want a drink and that she has wineglasses with "Holiday Inn" on them. Emily asks for a Stoli on the rocks with a twist.
In the kitchen, Lorelai does the Sookie Recap again. Sookie asks when the last time when the grandparents were there last. Never. They've never come to visit. Sookie says she's glad that Rory is so happy. Emily walks in and compliments the food and asks Lorelai who the caterer is. Lorelai introduces Sookie, and tells Emily that she's the chef at the inn. Emily tells Sookie that she'll have to cater her party. Lorelai reminds Emily that Sookie already has a job. At the inn. The inn she goes to every day. Where she works. Where they both work. Six days a week. The inn. Because Emily is still dumbfounded Lorelai tells Sookie just to give Emily her number so that they can go back to the party.
Sookie runs up to Lorelai and tells her that they're out of ice. Catastrophe. Lorelai says she'll go to get some more. As she hits the door she walks into Mr. Nutrition who has just arrived with two bags of ice. Lots of hugging and wiggling as Emily watches from the doorway. Lorelai introduces Mr. Nutrition to Emily and he says he should get the ice to the freezer before it melts. "Well, not very likely in here," Lorelai smiles. Emily gives the two of them a once-over.
Rory walks out onto the porch and brings Grandpa a Cosmo to read. She tells him there's a quiz in there to determine if he's a summer or a fall. Grandpa thanks her and begins reading. I love Grandpa. He's such a good sport. But why is he on the porch? ["I figured that it was because the big crowd of people gave him the willies, and that, unlike at the party the night before, he didn't have any work cronies to talk business with, and thus spare himself having to socialize." -- Wing Chun]
The rest of the party is gathered in the living room listening to Sally Struthers warble that Rory used to the think the tree stump in her back yard was inhabited by fairies. Emily sits on a chair behind them and listens, smiling. Miss Patty shares stories off Rory taking ballet lessons. They all sit around the iBook and laugh, because Apple products mean happy families. Emily gets up and walks upstairs.
Lorelai finds Emily in Lorelai's room. Emily is holding a quilt on Rory's bed. Lorelai tells her that she made that quilt out of Rory's old baby clothes. Emily asks about "the characters" downstairs, and how long Lorelai has been dating Mr. Nutrition. Lorelai says that she isn't dating him. Emily says that he clearly likes her, though, since he was looking at her "like [she] was about to give him a lapdance." Lorelai laughs and Emily says she's pleased to know that he likes her. Lorelai says she's laughing and smiling because that's what you do to crazy people to keep them calm. Emily walks around the bedroom and finds a picture on Rory's dresser of Lorelai in crutches with a cast up to her thigh. She says she didn't know that Lorelai ever broke her leg. Lorelai tells a quick story about a yoga class gone bad, and concludes by saying that if she had been really sick she would have let Emily know. Emily starts telling Lorelai that she could get a maid to clean things up. Lorelai says that she likes the house the way it is. Emily wonders how Lorelai finds the bed. Lorelai says it's the thing she crashes into on her way to the closet. As Emily starts to leave, Lorelai tells her it was very nice of her to come tonight and that it means a lot to Rory. Emily says that Rory is her granddaughter and that she should be there. "I totally agree," Lorelai smiles. As Emily turns to go she starts to fix the quilt. "Leave it, Mom," she says quietly. Nice scene that never turned sappy. Gilmore Girls, you've done it again. Give 7th Heaven a call on your way to the wrap party, would you?
Emily finds Grandpa on the couch and says that it's time to go. He's not quite done with his quiz. She thanks Rory for the party. Grandpa agrees. Rory asks "the verdict." "I...am an autumn," he says proudly. Lorelai walks out onto the porch and tells them that the mud wrestling starts in ten minutes and that they shouldn't go yet. Emily says they had a lovely time. Grandpa tells Lorelai to get her chimney inspected and hands Rory another envelope "for Fez." Rory says that he already took care of Fez. "Fez is a very large city," he says, and walks away. Oh. It's so fuzzy in here you feel like you're trapped in a hug. Lorelai and Rory watch them walk away and then announce that it's time for a food fight.
In the car, Emily watches the party from the street and says, "She's right. I don't know my daughter at all." Cue strummy-strummy-la-la music. Emily tells Grandpa they should go to beat the traffic.
Lorelai and Sookie clean up the party and say that year it's just going to be the slide at McDonalds. Sookie says the party was a success. They discuss food again. Sookie leaves to check the living room and Lorelai looks out the window.
Oh, Rory is outside with CuteDean. She says he didn't have to get her anything. He apologizes, and says it's the rules. If you turn older, you get a present. Oh, God, y'all. I love me some CuteDean. Rory apologizes about being all sneaky, meeting him in the back yard. She says she hasn't told her mother about him yet, "Not that there's anything to tell." She starts stammering that she doesn't mean that the way it sounds but he knows what she means. He says this is better. She opens the present. It's a bracelet. Oh, God. It's a bracelet he made himself. It's just like a present some boy would make for you with this coin medallion thing where he drilled a hole and shoved some leather rope through it and you'll wear it every single day even when you're in the shower and it'll get all ratty and moldy but you won't care and you'll kiss it and pretend you're kissing him and you'll smell it and convince yourself that it smells like him or you'll find the cologne he wears and you'll spray the hell out of it with the tester from the mall and you have this huge fantasy about the day he cuts it off of your wrist and replaces it with the perfect diamond ring and you're in love forever and I LOVE CUTEDEAN! She says it's amazing and he puts it on her wrist. She stares at him and smiles as he finishes tying the rope and then he holds her hand and smiles at her. She smiles back at him. They smile. I smile. Oh God, y'all. I am only so strong. As Rory lowers her head, we cut to Lorelai staring through the window. Her mouth is open. She turns away, holds her stomach, and realizes just how much older her daughter really is. Oh. The tears. Openly. Weeping. Five friends are currently mocking me. I don't care. I LOVE CUTEDEAN.
And week, y'all...Oh. I'm not even going to ruin it for you. Bring your diaries, your Kleenex and your favorite stuffed animal. We're gonna get crazy-girly. I might even get my period.