Previously on Gilmore Girls: Rory gets into Chilton, CuteDean (tm Pamie) asks after her, and he watches her everyday. She's smitten. Lorelai meets Max Medina, Rory's teacher. Rory's late and doesn't get to take her test. She does some screaming. Lorelai gives both the Headmaster and his comrade Medina a very large piece of her mind. Then she and Rory bond while looking for the deer that ran into the car. Max leaves a message on their machine explaining that Rory can make up for the test by doing extra work this term and admits he wants to see Lorelai again.
Grandmother's house. Three generations of Gilmore women are enduring a Friday night dinner. Grandfather is away in Germany. Lorelai cracks, "Dad's firm is insuring Nazi's now?" Emily, in between taking a bite of her dinner and wiping the sides of her mouth with her napkin, says, "Your father doesn't know any Nazi's." Lorelai and Rory attempt to explain the concept of sarcasm. Emily simply holds up her wine glass in protest. Then she announces she's got some bad news: Lorelai's cousin Claudia has died. "Who?" Lorelai asks. Emily repeats "Claudia" a couple of times as if repetition will breathe life into the reference. Claudia was her father's grandmother's sister's girl. Which makes her? "Nothing," Lorelai snaps. It doesn't matter because blood is blood, and Emily thinks they'll all go to the funeral together on Thursday. "Two problems," Lorelai explains. "One: impossible to get away from the inn on Thursdays. Two: I've never met this woman." They banter back and forth about how Lorelai has met her dead cousin Claudia. Apparently, both Lorelai and Emily went to her house in Grotten to see the first moon landing. Which was in July of 1969. Which would have made her one when Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. Lorelai claims, "I have no memory of this whatsoever." Of course not, you were barely a toddler. Emily turns to Rory: "Correct me if I'm wrong, but men have walked on the moon regardless of whether your mother remembers or not?" Rory shuffles in her seat a bit but says, "That's the rumour." All three women have abandoned their dinners for now. They tensely converse about how Lorelai's not going to the funeral this time. Emily cracks that Claudia's probably not planning on dying a second time. Rory giggles. She's very cute when she giggles. Dinner resumes. Emily puts her wine glass down and wags her finger: "Oh, wait! Rudolph Gotfried." Lorelai assumes this is another cousin. "No. A Nazi that we knew. I forgot. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man, interesting stories." Horrified looks from Generations Two and Three. Lorelai chastises her mother violently. Words like "heinous" and "despicable" are tossed onto the linen tablecloth until Emily says, "No, dear, that was a joke." Rory laughs out loud, and Lorelai looks less than impressed.
They play a really nice theme song that I don't hate. I wiggle my head and smile. We're now in the other dimension.
A very dour Lorelai is watching television in the kitchen. There is loud music by Rancid coming from Rory's bedroom. The Chilton-plaid daughter insists that her mother is cranky. I think Lorelai hasn't had enough coffee this morning. She cracks, "The world has a formidable opponent this morning." With a gargantuan apple in her hand, Rory points a finger at her mother: "Wait! Shouldn't you be baking?" Lorelai snaps: "Shouldn't you be knitting?" She is grumpy. The Chilton bake sale is today. Lorelai has it covered. They expect things to be homemade. Lorelai knows. Other than Dolly Madison. Lorelai repeats that she has it covered. All of the parents pitch in, Rory says, so this is "really, really important." For the third time, Lorelai says she has it covered; she pours herself a well-needed cup of coffee. The motherly organizational button is pushed as Lorelai barks, "Now get your stuff and hit the stereo; we're late."
In Rory's bedroom, Lane is skanking. Her arms are flailing. Her legs are kicking. Why isn't she at home? Lorelai screams at Lane, "Where does your mom think you are?" Lane quips, "On a local park bench contemplating the re-unification of the two Koreas." All three women leave the house. Lane runs off, and the Gilmore Two meet Babette, Morey, and Cinnamon coming up the lane. Cinnamon is riding in a miniature covered wagon with a yellow canopy that Morey made. Babette explains her cat isn't walking very well these days. Apparently, Cinnamon, despite being somewhat incapacitated, loves her "nice walks." Only they say it in Italian. Don't ask. The canopy allows Cinnamon to be "alone." The neighbours trot off, carting the world's most embarrassed cat behind them. Rory cracks, "Okay, our town is just weird." Hallelujah! At least they're not all hanging out on a tired coffeehouse set pretending to be New Yorkers. Oh, did I say that out loud? Right, Rory gives her mother a quick kiss on the cheek and runs off to catch her bus. Lorelai teases her daughter some more about forgetting the bake sale and gets called a sadist in return. Finally, we see a bright yellow knapsack carting itself down the road.
Incidental guitar strumming music comes up as we see the bus round the corner. Everyone is so awake in this show. Rory's reading a book. Dean approaches, sees Rory, and smiles a very large, very cute smile. Rory steps onto the bus while some woman is crooning: "la la la la la la la la la la la la." You'd think the music would be really annoying but somehow it's not; I barely notice it. Rory finds her seat and continues to read her book. CuteDean slides into the seat behind Rory, leans in, and says, "Hey," very close to her ear. She yelps. Who wouldn't? Rory refuses to look behind her. Dean explains that he saw her standing in line so he thought he'd say hello. Remember last week when I said Rory was incredibly self-assured around the opposite sex? Yeah, well, let me revise my observation: Rory is incredibly self-assured around the opposite sex when they're not arrogant pretty boys calling her "Mary." They exchange some awkward "hellos." CuteDean's not particularly awkward; in fact, he's relatively charming. Rory, however, brings new meaning to the word "awkward." He thanks her for helping him get the job at the store: "It keeps me solvent." No teenager would ever use the word "solvent." Rory says "solvent is good." Dean wonders if she's always this serious, and Rory, looking solemn, says: "No." The poor girl is in pain. Dean does that cute-boy wiggle-your-leg thing while asking her how long it takes her to get to school. Without ever actually turning around to talk to him, Rory explains it usually takes her forty minutes, "but longer if [the bus driver's] trying to win something on the radio." She then turns around, exclaiming that the bus is going to Hartford. Dean, because he's cool like that, knows. Rory says, "But you go to school here! You have to get off the bus!" She stands up and screams, "Hey! He has to get off the bus!" Dean smirks. He leans in to her: "You keep forgetting something -- buses make stops." Even I felt Rory's stomach dropping to her knees. The bus halts to a stop, Dean grabs his book bag, says goodbye to "Lorelai Gilmore," and steps off the moving vehicle, leaving poor Rory dazed and confused.
The Independence Inn is hopping. The same "La La Song" is floating around. Michel is answering the phone. Lorelai is showing people around. A party of French businessmen arrives at the front desk asking, in French, if Michel is French and if he speaks the language. "No," he responds, shuffling his papers. The man asks again, in French, if he is not French. Michel responds, "Sir, I am just a simple country boy from Texas. I do not understand this Français business you are talking about." Lorelai grabs him and tells him it's his job to keep the French group happy. He's grumpy because most French people are insufferable. Lorelai puckers her lips and raises her eyebrows. This is the look. The do-it-or-something-unspeakable-shall-befall-you look. Michel gives in, but he won't be happy. Lorelai pats him on the shoulder and carries on with her day. He comes around from behind his desk, announces his name, in French, and lets the party know he's there to help him. They all have a good chuckle. Michel turns to Lorelai and says, "Kill me now."
The very same incidental music carries us over to Chilton for the bake sale. Oh, sure, Lorelai has it all covered by getting Sookie to whip up some tasty goodies for Rory. It does look like a very serious bake sale. In fact, it looks like a huge, incredibly well-organized bake sale. All the bake sales at my high school consisted of two tables, some brownies from a mix, a couple of chocolate chip cookies, and a prayer that you made more that twenty bucks. This is a serious fundraiser. This is a "new roof on the church" kind of fundraiser. Rory, Lorelai, and Sookie stand back to admire her work. The Gilmore's exclaim that it's "amazing" and "incredible." Sookie grabs a miniature blowtorch to put the final touches on her display. Rory wants to light the dessert. Sookie explains the procedure is more delicate than you might think and fires up the torch. As she says, "it takes an expert hand," Sookie walks around the side of the table and lights the tablecloth on fire. Lorelai grabs some punch from the table and douses the blaze. Evil Chilton moms look upon her with disgust; Lorelai buys some punch to placate them. Sheesh, Chilton parents take everything so seriously. Max sneaks up behind her and cracks, "Very Henry the Eighth." Lorelai: "Well, we're not into subtle." He says it's good to see her. She says the same, only she adds a "Mr. Medina." Max. "Mr. Medina." Lorelai is waving like a tree -- back and forth, back and forth. Max. "Mr. Medina." Lorelai turns to Sookie and introduces her to "Mr. Medina." I think Lorelai is catching Rory's "afraid of people you have crushes on" disease. Max asks if he can "borrow" Lorelai for a minute, but before she walks off with him, she grabs the blowtorch from Sookie's flame-happy grip.
As they walk through the bake sale, Max says he'd love for the ice to thaw. Hey, she is carrying a blowtorch -- you might want to watch what you say, heh. They quibble about Rory's test. He was doing his job; she knows he was doing his job. He'd like them to be friends. They stop walking for a minute. And Max says, "I'd like to see you sometime." Lorelai looks nervous, which I'm sure is hard for her; she is always so quick-witted. She takes a deep breath: "Are you asking me out on a date?" Yes. Another deep breath followed in quick succession with a huge sigh and a couple of "ums," "wells," and "ahs." She snaps, "I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing if the Headmaster won't let a kid be thirty seconds late for a test, he'd probably frown on a teacher dating a mom." Max argues, "I do my job well. I'm dedicated to my students, and there's nothing in the Chilton book of ethics that prohibits it." Yeah, because the Chilton book of ethics was probably written two centuries ago. Lorelai guesses the teacher/parent dating law is probably unwritten. "Do you want to go?" he asks. Lorelai changes the subject, claiming her daughter would probably freak out at the thought. Probably? I'd say she would totally freak at the thought. "Do you want to go?" he asks again. Lorelai continues to ramble about the other parents having a field day. The question is posed for the third time. This time, she looks him in the eye instead of letting her gaze wander all over the campus and then back again, and says, "Yes." Good. Then she changes her mind: "I can't. It's weird." Max says he'll pay. They're good to go -- oh, wait, they're not. The back and forth continues for a while as they discuss how uncomfortable the situation is and could be. Max proposes coffee. Lorelai proposes a pseudo-date. She's in town for a class and always visits the same coffee shop at the same time each week. Now, if perhaps a person entered this establishment, around the time she's usually there, she probably wouldn't avoid them if she knew them. Max jokes, "You know, the Wordsmith thing, that's something we have in common." She pokes him with the blowtorch, a symbol of the sexual tension, and says she'll see him around. Max has really bad hair. Hair that approaches Dawson proportions. It looks like a melting ice cream cone. I'm sorry. It had to be said.
After the break, Rory and Lane are walking around town discussing where they would live if they could live in any city in the world. Lane's response: "Philadelphia." She picks Philly because M. Night Shyamalan, director of The Sixth Sense lived there. My best friend from high school and I used to walk around our town doing the exact same thing: having intensely philosophical, imaginary world discussions, only we used to only talk about things in the context of our parents and boys. We'd throw in a little Soap Opera Digest every now and again too. Sometimes we'd talk about really serious things like fashion and church -- hers not mine. Anyway, this isn't about me, right? Rory wants to know what the heck Lane would do in Philadelphia. She'd hang out with M. Night Shyamalan. Rory snipes, "Okay, cross guidance counselor off your list of potential career choices." The two young women run into Babette and Morey, who are rushing Cinnamon home. The cat makes a horrific sound. Both Cinnamon and Morey ate too many bad clams. In fact, they ate too many clams at Al's Pancake World. Which, I'm assuming, is not known for its clams. Babette explains that they had a coupon. I don't know what's making Cinnamon feel worse: the clams or being carted around in that ridiculous wagon. The two girls carry on their way until Rory catches a glimpse of Dean through the store window. She tries to get rid of Lane. Lane's confused but goes home anyway, muttering "freak" as she heads off in the other direction.
Rory enters the store and walks deep into the aisles, keeping her eyes on Dean. When he gets up and notices she's there, staring at him, he waves. She runs, and I mean runs, deeper into the store, completely ignoring him. Now, that's love. He shakes his head and laughs at her. Because she's quirky. And it's cute. No, really, it's honestly cute, and I don't even want to barf. Rory makes her way past the produce section where she runs into Miss Patty, who offers her a plum. Apparently, these plums are "better than sex." There's no way a plum could be better than sex; they're too sour. Now, if we were talking peaches, well, that would be a different thing entirely. Rory declines the plum. Miss Patty isn't too concerned. She starts fondling the fruit in her hand, complimenting its sensuality. When she notices Rory's obvious discomfort, she says: "Are you too young for this?" Rory: "Definitely." Miss Patty wonders why Rory's in the grocery store but then notices her staring at CuteDean. She understands and starts teasing Rory, who denies having a crush on Dean. They banter back and forth about how yummy he is, and Rory ends up asking Miss Patty please not to say anything about this "boy type person." Miss Patty agrees: "I promise that I won't tell a single soul that you don't know that young man." Thank you. You're welcome. Rory escapes the produce section and Miss Patty by grabbing a head of lettuce and a strange object to her left.
As Rory heads toward the cashier, she bangs into a very tall, very attitudinally challenged young man. This young man, who happens to be the new Assistant Manager, busts Miss Patty for food sampling. He's really mean. Miss Patty tries to charm him, but he'll hear none of it: "The time you put something in that mouth that doesn't belong there, I'm going to remove it and then call the police." Assistant Manager Take Your Job Way Too Seriously grabs the plum from Miss Patty's hand and walks away. We cut back to Rory paying for her head of lettuce and her mousetrap. Dean rushes over to bag her groceries. He teases, "That's a couple of must-need items there." She doesn't say anything to him but looks straight ahead. Oh, do I feel her pain. The first boy I ever had a crush on would do the very same thing to me. And every single time I'd see him, I'd trip. Honest. I'd fall flat on my face, usually right in front of a crowd of people, or I'd drop something, like my books, and then end up kicking them down the hall and looking like such a goof. Love is tough. Rory doesn't have enough money to pay for her lettuce and mousetrap. Dean offers to loan her the rest. She snatches the lettuce out of his hand and offers just to pay for the one item. He jokes, "Perfect. You can use one half to make a salad and the other half to clobber a mouse with!" As she clasps the lettuce close to her chest and tries desperately to leave the store with at least an inch of her dignity left, Dean asks whether she'd like a paper or a plastic bag. "I'm fine." Rory responds without even looking at him and races out of the store.
The "La La Song" is still serenading us as Lorelai enters the coffee shop where her pre-date is to occur. She sits down at the counter an empty chair away from Max. Whose hair now looks like backwards bed-head frozen stiff by Brill Cream. Anyway, they flirt a little and act surprised to see one another. There's something about a cream conversation with a server that prompted Max to feel awful. There's a witty response from Lorelai about this being a tough outing for him. There is the requisite "but it's getting better" reply from the boy once he realizes the girl has arrived. Lorelai orders a coffee. They rally some small talk for a minute. Lorelai thinks they should "cut the cute and get right to it." Max responds, "I think we should date." His nose fits right into the coffee cup as he takes a sip. "Why?" Lorelai asks. He answers, "Because I think we both want to." Lorelai scoffs, "Well, I want to be in the Bangles but that doesn't mean I quit my job, pick up a guitar, and ruin my life." He insists the Bangles broke up. She doesn't think that's the point. Well, it's kind of the point. He's got you there, Lorelai. Max then suggests that they date because they are clearly attracted to one another. That prompts, "Well, I'm attracted to pie, but it doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie." Insert a ragdoll giggle here -- you can't date pie! Heh. He then suggests that they date because they are of similar heights. Lorelai quips, "Wow! Round one and already tapped!"
The conversation turns to more serious matters as Max brings up the fact Lorelai is concerned about the appearance of them dating. He insists that he's the soul of discretion. As Lorelai continues to grill him, Max asks the waitress for hemlock or arsenic -- "something quick!" They discover they both like rap music and Italian food. There is more flirtatious banter. Lorelai starts to explain her relationship with her daughter, and how she would never do anything to hurt her, but a strange man sits down in the spare seat between the couple. Max insists that Rory's not a baby any longer. Lorelai doesn't want to hear that. He jokes about stunting her growth, blowing cigarette smoke on her, keeping her in the closet. The old man gives him the stink-eye and then leaves. Then Max gives Lorelai some cheesy "seize the day" for-love-comes-around-but-once-in-a-lifetime speech that she eats up. Blah dee blah, something in your gut, blah dee blah, you know it's right, blah dee blah, you've got to go after it, blah dee blah, his uncle never saw the girl again. Lorelai caves under the enormous sexual tension, gives Max her card, and suggests they have dinner. As he leaves, Max says, "Good-bye Lorelai Gilmore." Oh, even the love lives are paralleled on this show! Well, except for the fact that Lorelai and Max can actually have a conversation. Rory hasn't quite reached that stage yet.
You know, I don't even miss Friends.
Sookie and Lorelai are at The Diner having a late lunch. Lorelai waxes philosophical for a minute: "Ah, life is a funny, funny thing." Sookie is fixing up her burger and giggling. "Yeah! I love that Jim Carrey." While agreeing that Jim Carrey is indeed a hoot, Lorelai explains she's not being literal. Sookie jokes, "Very serious face. Jean Paul Sartre." Grumpy Luke, The Diner Guy interjects, "How do you guys get any work done?" And then he walks away. Lorelai starts to tell Sookie about meeting Max and about how he's Rory's teacher. Sookie interrupts, wondering if Lorelai got an onions with her burger. She didn't. So Sookie screams in front of the entire diner -- and all it's customers -- "Hey Luke! You forgot the onions." As Lorelai continues to ponder her dilemma aloud to her friend, Sookie starts fixing up the various plates on the counter, adding a garnish here, and tossing some salt there. She doesn't see what the problem is, and Lorelai explains that she doesn't want Rory to have to deal with the ramifications of her mother's personal life. Which I think is incredibly mature and thoughtful. After adding some cayenne pepper and fresh lemon to someone's turkey sandwich, Sookie leans on the counter and says, "You do know that Rory's not a baby anymore." Lorelai thinks that maybe she's thinking too much about the whole situation. Sookie nods. "Plus," Lorelai says, "It'd be great to get -- you know." Sookie doesn't get it. Lorelai repeats, "You know." Even Turkey Sandwich Guy knows. Luke comes out and yells at Sookie for being behind the counter and shoves her back to the other side. Lorelai decides she'll tell Rory, and if there's even an ounce of weirdness, she'll stop dating Max. Sookie: "You haven't told Rory yet?" Lorelai explains that the timing hasn't been right, that this is a very delicate situation, and then she makes an analogy to one of Sookie's soufflés. They get the whole metaphor/literal discussion confused again. Instantly, Rory is at her mother's side: "Mom. You'd better come. It's Cinnamon."
There is a Stars Hollow Animal Clinic van parked outside Babette and Morey's. Rory and Lorelai rush into the house where Babette is standing over Cinnamon's body explaining that she's gone. Rory sits beside Morey on an extremely short couch and asks, "Is there anything I can do for you, Morey?" The man responds, "This is life, Rory. It breaks your heart." Then Babette explains how she thought her cat was asleep: "So, I nudged her, and she didn't wake. I gave her a push, and she rolled off the couch, and since I just waxed the floor, she went flying across the floor. When she knocked over the lamp, and she still didn't move, I knew it was over." Except you have to insert all the Sally Struthers hand movements to really appreciate the comedic genius of the scene. Morey wants to make sure it wasn't the clams. The vet reassures him it wasn't the clams: "In human years, this cat was two hundred and sixty years old." Rory puts a hand on Morey while the vet prepares to take Cinnamon out to the van and says she'll "get out of their way." Babette encourages everyone to stay: "Cinnamon would want you here." Morey says he'll never eat clams again. Rory says, "Me either."
People are streaming into Babette's house with the small furniture and abnormally sized doors. Inside, Lane is asking Rory if she wanted to laugh when Babette explained the peculiar circumstances surrounding the discovery of Cinnamon's death. Rory nods. The teenagers both exclaim, "It's sad, yeah, it's sad." And they walk away to some other part of the house. Turkey Sandwich Guy walks by the side door as Michel enters. "Excuse me, Hee Haw Man," Michel says. "Where is Lorelai Gilmore?" Lorelai magically appears, and Michel hands over a large canister to his boss. "What?" he says. "You are having a party, and I'm not invited?" His boss explains that it's not a party but a wake. For a cat. He's confused and makes a crack about cats in general. Lorelai shuffles him out the door just as Miss Patty makes her dramatic entrance. Then Miss Patty smothers Sally Struthers. Heh, that rhymes.
Outside, Sookie and Luke meet each other as they are walking up the driveway. There is chef tension. They can't both fit through the doorway at the same time. Lorelai thanks them for coming at such short notice. Sookie tries to organize the crowd: appetizers over there, beverages over here. She's trying to keep a semblance of order. Luke simply drops his food on the table and says, "Dig in." Later into the evening, there's a knock at the door just as Rory's walking past. There's CuteDean holding trays of soft drinks. "Oh! Hi!" he says. "I wasn't expecting to see you!" Poor Rory stumbles over her words for a minute and then invites him in. Lorelai notices their short conversation and asks if Rory knows the young man. She says no, but he goes to her old school and she sometimes saw him there. "But I go to Chilton now." I don't know what's worse: being surprised by your crush at the side door or having your mother witness the whole unbearably uncomfortable conversation. As her mother walks away, CuteDean startles Rory again, asking if she has a second. "No," she responds. "But I have gum." He's a bit confused, and rightfully so, then Rory makes an excuse, and he leaves. Poor Dean. As Rory watches him go, she notices Max heading up to their front door. She calls to her mother, who exclaims, "Oh!" Rory wants to know if she's in trouble. Lorelai explains that tonight is Thursday. Max bangs on the front door. Lorelai stutters for a second. Rory wants to know what's going on. "Max is here, um, to pick me up," Lorelai says. Rory's confused for a second, but only for a second. She's a smart girl and realizes Max is there so that he and Lorelai can go out on a date. Her mother grabs both of Rory's arms and squeezes, exclaiming that she'll be back in a flash to explain the whole situation. Then she runs off to talk to the date she's just about to ditch.
A very jaunty Lorelai bounds up her front steps, greeting Max. She tries to explain about the emergency wake for the neighbours' cat. Max thinks that Lorelai is making excuses and says, "Lorelai, I like you, but I don't want to force something on you that you don't want to do." She chases him down the stairs as he tries to make a quick getaway. Lorelai begs him to not read too much into "this." She wants to reschedule. They smile. He asks whether she's sure. "Cross my heart and hope that no other neighbourhood cats die on that day!" He gives in. They smile some more. Ragdoll wonders how he gets his hair to stay up like that. He must use rollers in the front. Or at least a blow dryer and a lot of gel. It's really bad Jason Priestly hair from the last season he was on . Max gets in his Mustang and drives off. Lorelai curses Cinnamon and her awful timing.
The Iron Chef: Stars Hollow competition continues between Luke and Sookie. Reigning champion inquires after her competitor's meatloaf and his use of ketchup. She offers up a complementary dish. He refuses. Then recants. But doesn't let her make a nice design on the plate. I think we're making progress. Lorelai walks by wondering if anyone has seen Rory. As she passes the warring cooks, we see Mean Kirk from the grocery store approach Miss Patty. He apologizes, and rightfully so, I might add. Lorelai ends up in the kitchen, where Babette is putting a pharmacy of pills into a hatbox. Lorelai cracks, "Whoa. It's like a scene from the kitty version of The Valley of the Dolls." Babette smiles. They go through the litany of problems poor Cinnamon had and the pills she had to take for each condition. They remember Cinnamon. There is grief. My eyes well up. They talk about what it's like to have your kids grow up around you. Inadvertently, Babette gives Lorelai some advice: "Eventually, you've got to move on and figure out what your life's going to be like when you're not taking care of someone else." After finishing her task at the medicine cabinet, Babette busies herself with some dishes. Lorelai helps. There is more bonding. They talk about the "stud" that is Max Medina. Babette wants to know how he is in the sack. Lorelai smiles and says she hasn't even gone out with him yet, but that when they do "it," she'll call Babette during the cigarette to let her know. The two of them hug, and it's all so darn sweet. Morey's at the piano playing Cinnamon's song. Babette goes into the other room. Miss Patty is playing the bongos. Lorelai approaches Sookie, who is watching the scene from just outside the living room. She can't find Rory anywhere. Lorelai is worried about Rory's reaction to Max. Sookie ends up being not very comforting. Lorelai continues her quest to find her daughter, who's not actually in the house.
Cut to the backyard, where Rory is sitting surrounded by gnomes. Again, CuteDean walks up, startles her, and she jumps. He apologizes for bugging her lately. He thought maybe she liked him, but "it's obvious that [she's] not interested, and [he] just wanted to say that [he] get[s] it and [he's] not going to bother [her] anymore." Rory looks like she's going to cry. I know I'd be crying. You know, it's that feeling you get when you're sure you're being totally obvious about how much you like a boy, but he has absolutely no clue. My entire high school life was filled with that very feeling. I was painfully, painfully shy. Oh wait, this isn't about me -- I keep forgetting that when I'm watching this show. Right, Rory still looks like she's about to cry as CuteDean starts to walk away. She jumps up and asks him to wait: "I am interested." He smiles, "You are." She still looks like she's going to cry. "Yes." He's still smiling. "I gotta go," she says and runs.
Right to the front door where Lorelai is just coming out to look for her. Lorelai explains that the man on the front porch was Rory's teacher. Rory quips, "Mom, I'm a little behind in school but not so behind that I don't know who the teacher is." Ah, she's back. Now it's Lorelai who is uncomfortable and looks like she might cry. Rory's a little mad. They argue over when Lorelai was planning on telling Rory about dating Max. "On your wedding day?" Rory wants to know. They argue some more. Rory's really upset that her mother didn't tell her. Lorelai apologizes. They decide the situation is very weird. Lorelai says she won't do anything without telling her daughter again, including getting dressed in the morning. Then they smile at one another, and Rory tells her mother that she needs some serious help.
Morey and Babette say goodnight to the Gilmores as they head for home. Morey and Babette decide to sit outside a while and look for the Big Dipper. They cuddle and look up to the sky. Okay, I'm beginning to find the music just a little bit annoying. Just a little bit though -- don't worry, I'm still in the parallel universe.
As Lorelai and Rory enter their front door, the phone is ringing. It's Emily. She starts right in on the whole "I've been trying to get you all day, where have you been, you are impossible to reach" line of badgering. Lorelai wonders why there are no messages on her answering machine. Emily: "I don't leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine I'd talk to my VCR." Heh. Emily wants to know where Lorelai has been all day. "At a wake." Rory is gesturing frantically for Lorelai to stop talking. "For the neighbours' cat." More gesturing. A second and then another second passes. "Hold on," Emily says. "I'm looking up 'aneurysm' in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one." They bicker for a minute over Lorelai attending a cat's funeral but being unable to go the funeral of her own cousin. Lorelai tries to get off the phone; she has a big day tomorrow. "What?" Emily snaps. "You're going to a raccoon's wedding?" Goodnight, Mother. Rory and Lorelai continue their Max discussion. Rory finally lets Lorelai off the hook. There are big smiles everywhere. It's all so wholesome and healthy. I love this show -- thank you Pamie for letting me fill in these past two weeks. It's been a lovely experience.