Shout-outs to Pamie for having me cover for her, and to Wing Chun for putting all this together. I hope Pamie's move goes well.
Previously on Gilmore Girls: Rory gets into Chilton, meets a very cute boy, has an interview with the Headmaster Charleston, who doesn't dance or even smile, for that matter, gets taunted by Terrible Paris, and teased by another cute boy.
Rory and Lorelai are heading into an office-supply store for...well, supplies. Lorelai is teasing Rory, saying something about a plunger and toilet paper that I don't quite understand, and only when threatened by her daughter does Lorelai begin to take the adventure seriously. I love shopping for school supplies and I'm not even in school anymore. ["Me too! We have nineteen different kinds of ruled notepads and about eighty thousand pens here." -- Wing Chun] They grab a basket and head into the store looking for legal pads. The banter back and forth about the requisite number of highlighters needed by a sixteen-year-old private-school girl: three. According to Rory, three is not a random number: "One dries up. One gets lost. I have one left." As they work their way down Rory's list, Lorelai grabs some purple legal pads, which are completely unacceptable, because Chilton is a "serious" school. Thus the teasing begins: "Here are your somber highlighters, maudlin pencils, your manic-depressive pens." Mom. Something about erasers that are on lithium prompts Rory to insist she's going home now. The wacky escapades continue as we break for credits. Rory threatens never to let Lorelai go shopping with her again; Lorelai jokes about colourful Post-It Notes being forced to change their "wacky ways."
What's a girl to do when she doesn't even hate the theme song? I am rather speechless, so let's move on. I always at least hate the theme song.
A big bus is parked to the left of my screen. A plaid-kilted Rory races off the bus carrying a very large bag, presumably filled with books. It doesn't stop there. The bus doors remain open and she jumps back on board to grab a knapsack presumably crammed with the school supplies purchased earlier. She runs back a third time to pick up whatever it is that she missed -- a second knapsack filled with who knows what -- before the bus doors slide shut and it rambles off into the distance. Hee. My boyfriend at university used to walk around with two knapsacks: one he'd carry on his back and the other on his front. I never told him he looked ridiculous. Let's hope he's not reading this. Rory is carrying a total of five bags placed very tenuously on both of her shoulders as she tries to make it into the school without tipping over. We fade into the classroom...
...where Max Medina is handing back graded papers. Oh, I always hated the feeling when they handed back papers. I would be sick to my stomach for days. Oh, wait -- we're not talking about me here? Right. Max the Teacher is rambling on about the "decent effort by most," "the good effort by some," and the excellent effort by two. Which two? Do I even have to tell you? Of course, it's Terrible Paris and her Blonde Ambition sidekick. As if the grade wouldn't be embarrassing enough, Mr. Medina leans in to Rory and says, "Take this home, and learn from your mistakes." Her stomach drops into her knees as we see the large red "D" coupled with many more large red marks across various other parts of her paper. Oh, please don't cry, Rory. Max carries on, saying that the red marks actually represent the fact that to err is human and all that garbage before reminding them about the "dreaded" Shakespeare test scheduled for Friday: "This is a big one, my friends. Multiple choice with an essay section that will count for twenty percent of your grade this semester." Ouch. This test will be hard. There will be no make-ups. The bell rings. Max suggests that everyone take a look at the study notes he gave them at the beginning of the month as paper shuffles, bags open, and the class prepares to leave. Terrible Paris and her sidekick start gloating about their grades. One girl named Madeline got a "B," which, according to Tweedle "A" and Twaddle Blonde, is a totally "respectable" grade. A "D" however -- well, that would be cause for concern. Of course, they say all this within deafening earshot of poor Rory, the recipient of the horrible grade. They start taunting her about putting in her job application to McDonald's, and would she "like fries with that," and "somebody has to answer the phone," and all kinds of other mean things. Girls can be so cruel. To add insult to injury, All-American boy who teased Rory by calling her "Mary" asks her out on a date. He figures that they aren't friends because he makes her nervous. She tries to get rid of him. He wants to know if she's got a boyfriend. She says it's none of his business. He thinks she likes him but just doesn't "know how to say it." Then he asks her out again, and she asks him to please leave her alone. Wow. Rory has great composure for a sixteen-year-old. I wish I had spunk at that age. I couldn't even talk to boys when I was in high school. I'd just turn bright red and wish they went away. Oh, wait -- this isn't about me. Right.
Independence Inn. Drella runs her cello over Michel's toe, ruining his $300 Italian "lowferrs." They bicker. Lorelai breaks it up. Michel tries to fire Drella. She makes a crack about Versace pacifiers. Ragdoll giggles. No, honestly -- I'm watching television, writing a recap, and actually laughing at the humour in the show and not at the show itself. I can barely contain myself. Lorelai sends Drella to her corner and tells Michel "he's a grown man" and to "go to his desk and act like one." As she rifles through the mail, Lorelai comes across a magazine, says "Ohmigod!" a couple of times, and rushes off to the kitchen. She screams to Sookie, "It's here! It's here!" While scrambling through the pages, Rory walks in carting her barrage of bags, and drops them on the floor as her mother quips: "Behold, in theaters now, The Thing That Reads A Lot!" Hardy Har Har. Rory inquires about chocolate. Sookie busts a gut waiting for Lorelai to read the review already. It's glowing. If fact, it's a great review. Except for "the much lauded risotto which is perfectly fine." Oops. Sookie can't get past the risotto; she grabs the magazine from Lorelai and starts obsessing. Lorelai does a strange wiggle dance toward her daughter and insists that they celebrate. Rory refuses; she's got to study. And Sookie explains she's got to organize the shopping list. Lorelai starts her usual banter blah de blah young and fiery women, wiggle to the left, blah de blah girls on the town, wiggle to the right, blah de blah to hell with responsibility only to be interrupted by remembering the linen delivery. Through a mouthful of chocolate, Rory deadpans: "You go, girl."
Rory is seated at the kitchen table surrounded by her numerous books and study supplies. Her mother is watching television. Not only is she watching television, but she is also talking back to the television. Lorelai jumps up and wants to go for ice cream because she's bored. No can do. Rory is studying. There will be no break-taking tonight. The fridge door is opened and its contents discussed. There is more banter about Lorelai interrupting Rory's studying: "Lorelai!" Rory says: "Go to your room!" They make a deal: if Lorelai lets her study now, Rory will play with her this weekend. Including the shoe sale? Yes. She can try on anything she wants? Yes. Interference will be run if someone is hunting for her size? Yes. The ploy seems to work and Rory gets back to her books. Lorelai saunters out of the kitchen, but wanders back: "So. I'm sorry? Where did we land on the whole ice cream issue?" Rory slams some books together and leaves the room. What?
You know, I'm at a loss. I can't even criticize their clothes. I barely know what to say if I can't even find a piece of clothing to chomp to pieces. The women on this show aren't even obscenely skinny. They actually look healthy. Thin, but healthy.
After the commercial break, Rory -- looking quaint and disheveled at the same time in her kilt -- wanders into the Antique store. She calls out to Lane, who is somewhere amidst the chairs, desks and earthenware not remotely organized within the store itself. Right or left? Left. Leaving Rory to stumble through a couple of alleys between various bits of furniture. No luck. "I thought you said left!" Oops. That was Lane's left! The search continues. And continues. And continues some more. Marco. Polo. Marco. Polo. Until Lane is found. She's eating a rice cake: twelve calories. Rory gives up a yummy American chocolate bar. Lane "loves her." While Rory busts out her fourteen-inch binder crammed with study notes, she quips: "I don't even think Shakespeare knew himself this well." A customer covets their study table. Lane's mother descends and asks for $500.00. The two barter down to $375.00. The girls are dismissed with a curt "move." Rory pontificates about how she misses Stars Hollow; Lane assumes she must be kidding. When the girls attempt to land on yet another piece of furniture, Lane's mom swoops in exclaiming, "Nope. That's sold." She notices the chocolate bar in her daughter's hand and says, "That is chocolate-covered death." Heh. Lane's mom must have grown up with my own mother, who never let my brother and me eat chocolate. Or sugar. And allowed us a measly one hour of television per day. I suppose that explains my current addiction to all three substances. Lane informs Rory that the "tall, perfect new kid" asked about her today. On top of everything else, he's into "brainy chicks," because after Lane told him Rory was going to Chilton he didn't run away screaming. The two young women are shoved right out of the store by Lane's mom, who sends them packing once again: "I hate sales!" Lane exclaims. Heh.
Independence Inn. Drella is plunking away at her harp. I suppose you don't necessarily "plunk" a harp but I don't know the technical term so I'm just going with my original sentence: Drella is plunking Black Sabbath on her harp. Insert a ragdoll giggle here -- not even an eye roll or a head smack, but an honest-to-goodness giggle. Lorelai hears the familiar strains of Black Sabbath and rules them out of Drella's playlist, along with Boston, Queen, and Steely Dan. The Independence Inn is all Mozart, all the time. Lorelai makes her way into the kitchen to feed her coffee addiction. Sookie is sitting at her desk with her head in her hands, looking incredibly glum: "Over there," she says weakly and Lorelai moves toward the coffee machine: "Fresh in my first lifetime as Joan of Arc?" Lorelai asks, as she holds up the drudge left over at the bottom of the pot. Sookie sighs that she thought she made fresh. Continuing at her usual level of self-absorption, Lorelai rambles on about being exhausted, and about how she has to drive into Hartford tonight for a parent/teacher meeting. Every sentence of Lorelai's is met with a very sad "uh huh" from Sookie behalf. Finally, after about five minutes of rambling on about her life, Lorelai notices there might be something wrong with her star chef: Sookie's still upset about Lucien Mills's description of her risotto as "fine." Apparently, "fine" is a word that should be reserved for a lesser risotto. Sookie's risotto is "magic." She served it to her mother on her deathbed and she lived for another three years. You can't describe a magic risotto by using the word "fine." Fine. Somehow, Lorelai doesn't think the restaurant critic actually knew the story. The usual banter between Grocery Man and Sookie is dismissed without issue. He thinks something is wrong. Of course something is wrong, and Grocery Man is left to cheer up the disgruntled cook. Sookie's having a bad day -- looks like that's going around.
Max is holding his parent/teacher conference. He describes his curriculum for the semester: Elizabethan literature. Snooty Parent #1 asks if it is "really necessary" to include Marlowe. Max lets him know he wants to provide as complete an overview as possible. Ragdoll thinks she should have gone to Chilton. She didn't study Marlowe or even Webster in graduate school. ["Me neither. Wait, I think I read one Marlowe play as an undergrad. Oh, wait -- this isn't about me, either." -- Wing Chun] Snooty Parent #2 wants to know whether Marlowe's going to be on the "AP" Test. Snooty Parents #3 and #4 only want their children studying material for the Advance Placement Test. Max replies the only way to find out the content of the test would be to bribe someone on the AP Committee. Glib doesn't go over too well with Snooty Parent #5. Continuing our "bad day" theme, Lorelai stumbles into the meeting, starts explaining her "pothole incident" to Mr. Medina, to gracefully tries incorporate herself into the meeting and manages to trip all over the world. She makes a crack and taps the globe. Max introduces himself as does Lorelai before Snooty Parent Number #2 dismisses them both with a little "how nice, now, the AP test...?" These parents are frightening.
As Max starts back into his presentation, Lorelai tries the coffee, almost spits it out and says something like: "Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the camel." Blank stares from the Snooty Parent Tribe. More banter about the test -- when, where, how. Then Lorelai announces that she'd like to come; it's a big deal and she'd like to take part. All directions of Snooty Parents turn to give her the stink-eye. Snooty Parent #4 replies: "It's a test. What's exciting about a test?" Lorelai makes a crack about golf: "You explain yours and I'll explain mine." Hee. Snooty Parents #5 and #6 make derogatory remarks about both Gilmore Girls but just before punches fly, Max calls a break. He and Lorelai gravitate back toward one another. More bad coffee jokes. He apologizes for the Snooty Parents; they're tense. "Tense" isn't the word I'd use to describe them. Lorelai: "Hey, are you this nice to my kid?" Max: "Oh, yeah -- hey, it's easy. Rory's a sweet girl." Lorelai: "She is." They make small talk that includes a story about a Harvard sweatshirt used as a makeshift diaper. Even I'm embarrassed for Rory. There are twinkles in both people's eyes, and you know, I'm not even grossed out. There is something wrong with this picture. More flirting, Max asks if Lorelai is a "B-52's girl" while looking at the t-shirt she's wearing underneath her power suit. She explains that she spilled coffee all down her grown-up clothes, which is why she had to change into whatever was lying around in her car. It's a great t-shirt, though. ["Word. I covet it." -- Wing Chun] Then the other shoe drops. Lorelai finds out about the bad grade, explains that Rory's probably not feeling too well, and busts a move right out of the meeting.
Café. Rory's having trouble with her pencil. The eraser sucks. The lead breaks. The pencil gets tossed across the room. We've all been there. The bearded café man brings her pie. She needs it; he's right about that. Lorelai comes into the diner and flirts with the Pie Guy. Lorelai has that down to an art. And that doesn't even gross me out. I'm in some other recapping dimension. The dialogue on this show is so freaking natural. Rory wonders where her mother was all this time. Lorelai lets it out that she was in Hartford at the parent/teacher meeting. There is finger-biting. There are quips about winning the crowd over and being made queen. There is a timid question about Mr. Medina: "Why did you let me whine about ice cream and shoe sales when you had something major going on?" Rory should have told her mother about her bad grade but she couldn't: "It was too humiliating." Yet another quip: "Oh, honey. You once told me you loved Saved By the Bell. What could be more humiliating then that?" Oh, I don't know -- actually being one of the kids that starred on Saved by the Bell, perhaps. Especially the one that made Showgirls. Rory rambles on about having never gotten a "D." And she thinks she sucks, and that she can't adjust to Chilton. Lorelai gives her a pep talk, of sorts: she'll catch up, it's just one grade, and she's stubborn, which is a good quality. "I'm not stubborn," Rory argues. Yes you are, Lorelai counters. "No, I'm not," Rory insists. "Fine, you're not," Lorelai relents, and offers to help with the studying. Rory wonders if she can really do this. Lorelai bets her a dollar that she can.
Chilton. A strange talking head which looks remarkably like Paris the Evil Wench appears upon Rory's left shoulder reciting what I'm assuming is Shakespeare. Only it's really awkward and mean-sounding. There are violins, and when she finishes, she says: "You're going down." Don't worry Rory: good always triumphs over evil!
Independence Inn. Sookie has closed her kitchen and has dedicated her life to making risotto. Lorelai comes into the kitchen wondering about menus and is greeted with a spoonful of piping hot rice. Sookie keeps using the same spoon to test each dish and then shove it into Lorelai's mouth. Finally, something that honestly grosses me out. Sookie's having a risotto breakdown. She's made forty different recipes of forty different risottos and discovered that the magic risotto reigns supreme. The chef interrogates the waiter who might have served the restaurant critic. She keeps pointing and flashing around food combinations. He wants to know what Mills might have looked like: "Like he was unhappy with the risotto!" Sookie continues to grill the poor guy until he requests to be fired. In fact, she chases him out of the kitchen screaming about wigs and air conditioners -- anything that might have tipped the weight out of her favour. I understand obsession; I feel for you, Sookie.
After work and school, the Gilmore Two are cramming for Rory's test. There is a fire. Lots of concentration. Some pacing on the part of the younger Gilmore. Late-night cramming snacks are being eaten. Comfortable clothes are being worn. Lorelai quizzes her daughter about The Comedy of Errors. Rory gets the answers wrong. The question covers Richard III but this time, when Rory answers incorrectly, Lorelai makes this really annoying buzzer sound. We fade into more studying as Mom brings Daughter warm cups of soothing tea. They've moved on to Shakespeare's sonnets. Rory aces the sonnets. Lorelai: "Rock on, sister! How do you feel?" Even the "rock on, sister" doesn't seem out of place. I am in a parallel universe. Rory feels nauseous from the fries and horseradish sauce. Lorelai dispenses more encouragement and then wants to call it a night. Rory decides to stay up and continue to study. The house is littered with paper and food containers. Lorelai decides to stay up, too. You all know how long that's going to last. Exactly. Cut to Rory yawning and still reading. You can hear crickets in the background and they don't even sound cheesy. Rory decides to stretch her legs and finds her mother asleep on the couch; she covers her in a blanket and goes back to the studying. Fade into Lorelai waking up with the blanket, walking into the kitchen, where Rory is asleep on the table, covering both of them up, and falling asleep herself.
The morning, both Gilmores are still sleeping. Birds are chirping now. Ohmigod! They're still sleeping. Dogs are barking. "No!" Rory screams and wakes up her mother who's got an obvious crick in her neck. "No!" Rory screams again. "I'm late! I'm late! I woke up late!" There is rushing around and rumbling in the other room. "Get up! Get up!" Rory screams. Lorelai cracks that she can't get up because she's been sleeping at a right angle all night. "I've missed my bus!" Rory exclaims. Books get shoved into bags and a kilt gets pulled on over Rory's jogging pants. "Let's go right now!"Rory begs. Except Lorelai can't take Rory to school because she's got a meeting at the Inn. The keys and cell phone are handed to Rory, who's off to the races. I remember missing the bus when I was in high school. I'd end up having to take public transit for almost two hours. I hate the public transit in the town where I grew up. "Efficient" was not the word to describe the bus route: long, rambling, archaic, impossible, and monotonous -- now those are good words. Wait, are we talking about me? Right. "Good Luck!" Lorelai screams as Rory slams the front door and is on her way to Chilton. Not only did it suck when I missed the bus because I had to take public transit, but I was afraid to drive, so I didn't get my license until I was almost nineteen. At least Rory's got something to cling to in a desperate moment. At least she can drive herself to school.
There is fast rockabilly music playing as Rory races (within reason) toward Chilton. There's a stop sign on Mapletree Lane (honest) where she pauses for an instant and calls Lane, who is serenely lounging in her closet. She has one of those lamps that throw circles of bright light around the room. It all looks very relaxing. Rory is studying on her way and thinks she left some notes at Lane's. Lane doesn't see anything. In a flash, the car shakes and you hear a very large "whack." A deer hit the car. Just plumb ran right into the car. "I just got hit by a deer!" Rory marvels. Lane: "You hit a deer?" They go over the semantics for a minute: didn't hit but got hit. Rory explains that she's at a stop sign. They continue their conversation outside the car; Lane wants Rory to put salt down to attract the deer, but Rory simply wants to know if the deer is okay. "Rory! Your test!" Lane reminds her. What time is it? It's 7:40 AM! "No!" screams Rory.
Cue the rockabilly music again as Rory bounds down an empty hallway. It's 8:15 AM. Her hair's a mess. Her shirt's a mess. Her socks are a mess. And she's late. She apologizes for being late. Max informs everyone they need to keep working on their tests, adding, "Ms. Gilmore. You're going to have to wait in the library." He won't let her take the test. Those are the rules. Rory starts to explain the sequence of events that led to this one: "But you don't understand. I was up all night studying and then I missed my bus so I had to drive. So I'm driving down this road and I stop and I get hit by a deer." You hit a deer? The semantic thing again. Rory squeals, "You don't believe me? I've got antler prints on the side of my mother's car." Rory, come on. She begs, "No! You have to let me take this test. I know everything there is to know about Shakespeare." As she starts to ramble on about her knowledge of the bard, Paris the Evil leans into her Blonde Ambition pal and says, "Loser."
The fiery demons which lurk inside a sixteen-year-old who has been studying non-stop for a week only to miss the test that would have redeemed her in the eyes of her classmates are unleashed as she turns to Paris the Pain-in-the-Ass: "And just what is wrong with you, huh? You already have everything! You have the grades and the status. What the hell is wrong with you that you have this constant need to be the biggest jerk in the world?" Word. Max tries to drag Rory outside, but she's still yelling at Paris: "What's up? What's up, quippy? What's with the silence, huh?" Max orders her to get her butt outside, now! The hissyfit doesn't stop there; on her way out, Rory screams at the All-American guy who keeps calling her Mary: "And for the last time, the name is RORY!"
Commercials. Now, that, my friends, is a bad day. I knew this boy in high school who was rather beautiful but incredibly daft. He used to shotgun cans of Sprite in the cafeteria. Once, he got caught for speeding and was so worried about the police finding a certain controlled substance in his car, he put it somewhere controlled substances should never, ever go. Anyway, he asked me to help him with our geography exam. So, I did. And then he slept right through the final. Had no clue, called me to make sure the exam was the day, and then found out that he missed the test. He was devastated, and they wouldn't let him make up the exam either. It sucks when that happens.
Independence Inn. Lorelai is instructing Michel to replace some carpet perfectly. He's being very sarcastic in his French way: "Oh. zat 'perfectly.' I thought you meant zee other 'perfectly.'" As Lorelai walks away, Drella inquires about Pat Benatar, and Lorelai replies, "Great idea. Can she play the harp?" There are Sookie screams coming from the kitchen. Her quest to redeem the magic risotto continues. She found Mills's bill. Heh. He ordered the wrong wine and effectively spoiled the flavour of her risotto. Apparently, Brian, the goateed waiter, only worked one shift last week because his girlfriend kicked him out because he didn't want to have kids. The two get off-topic and start gossiping but only for a minute. Needless to say, Sookie went through all the bills, found the one where the patron ordered most of the dishes on the menu, and found out he drank the wrong wine. She and Lorelai hug. They are relieved. The Vegetable Man comes in with zucchini and Sookie dismisses them with a brush of her hand. Ah, it's so nice when things get back to normal. Michel enters the kitchen with the phone; it's a call for Lorelai. Can you guess? It's Rory's school. Correctamundo.
Rory is sitting on that bench just outside the Headmaster's office -- you know, the one where you sit when you're in trouble, or someone in your family has died. Lorelai wants to know what happened; Rory explains that she was late, a deer hit her, and that they wouldn't let her take the test. She's instructed to remain on the bench while Lorelai slams the door to the office and goes in to "fix" the situation.
Max Medina and the Headmaster (who just finished up a guest stint on The Practice where he played an overzealous judge -- you think you're escaping but they just pull you back in) are having a cup of tea. The Headmaster explains their policy. Lorelai starts to explain what happened: Rory woke up late, she broke her neck to get there, they don't live locally, etc. The Headmaster interrupts her, and is using that tone -- you know the patronizing, condescending tone that people in powerful offices sometimes adapt: "The dog ate my homework, my computer crashed, I lost my midterm." Lorelai says that she wasn't making excuses but that doesn't shut him up; he's on a roll: "My grandmother and first cousin died, my sister took my report instead of hers, my religion prohibits studying after sundown. I went blind last night but I'm fine now." Lorelai gives him the stink-eye. She says that's not Rory. He goes over the "rules are rules" speech again: when you're late you forfeit the right to take the test. He gets up from behind his desk and goes over to his office door, opening it to gesture that Lorelai should leave now. She asks Max what's he's doing. He says his hands are tied. The door is now completely open and the Headmaster is yelling from across the room: "Ms. Gilmore. We're not here to be fair, we're here to educate." Exactly, Lorelai says: "So educate my kid." "We will," Charleston continues, "when she's on time." He continues to hold the door. Lorelai continues not to leave the office. In fact, she reads him the riot act, blah de blah we've been studying for a week, blah de blah you've set impossible standards, blah de blah done as much as we could possibly do without going postal. The Headmaster interrupts by stating they should focus their attention on Rory. Which sets off Lorelai again, blah de blah snotty little school, blah de blah needs heating vents, blah de blah nurturing horrible kids, blah de blah who treat each other like mortal enemies, blah de blah make normal kids feel less than everyone else: "And you take a great kid like Rory and tear her apart." Max pipes up that he doesn't think that's entirely fair. Wrong answer: "And you. You say she's smart and she'll do fine. And this rotting, stodgy rat-hole could use somebody like her and you completely shut her out of a test that she's been cramming for, studying for, that she completely deserves to take." Then she calls the Headmaster the devil and continues to rip into the two of them until the Headmaster says: "My goodness, you do like to throw fits in your family." Lorelai's confused. He explains that Rory threw a similar if not as "manic" fit of her own this morning. Right. Rory doesn't throw fits, Lorelai explains; she's even-tempered. Well, Charleston responds, she must have been doing an impression of Lorelai. The Headmaster agrees that Chilton does set impossible standards, which does foster highly competitive children; however, "that is life and that is Chilton." That sounds terrible. In the end, he insists that Rory doesn't have to be there, that "this place" isn't for everyone, and that maybe Rory doesn't have to go to Harvard: "If she can't handle the pressure, she should leave." He dismisses her with a demeaning: "Thank you. That will be all."
The Bench. They are both seated and looking very defeated. Neither speaks until Lorelai quietly asks, "You got hit by a deer?"
There are antler marks on the car door. Lorelai wonders why her daughter just can't run into a wall like normal kids. Rory just wants to go home. Ragdoll has to brush away a tear, please don't hate her.
Sookie has tracked down the restaurant critic and is standing on his front porch holding a plate of risotto and a glass of wine. She knocks on the door with her elbow but doesn't turn around. Mills comes to the door but she still doesn't turn around; she talks to him with her back turned the entire time. Sookie introduces herself and he wants to know what the heck she's doing there. "Are you cooking?" she asks. He's making chicken. Sookie insists that he's using too much salt. Mills takes offense and tries to close the door, but Sookie continues on her quest to redeem the magic risotto. He tells her that she's acting very inappropriately and that she should just go home; after all, he did give her a good review. "I don't care about the review!" she claims. "I want you to try this dish with this wine." She hands the plate and glass over to him awkwardly through the door. And then, she waits. The door closes and Sookie scrunches up her face with excitement. It's very cute.
Rory and Lorelai are driving home. Lorelai attempts to engage her daughter in a conversation but Rory doesn't want to talk. Then she screams, "Stop the car!" They go and search for the deer. Lorelai's wearing heels, which are less than conducive for a nature walk. Then they have a completely engaging, completely heartwarming talk about Chilton -- about how Rory was trying too hard; about how she's sixteen and should come up for air once in a while. "They kicked me out!" Gilmore Jr. guesses. No. "Are you saying I should quit?" Rory asks. Lorelai says that if Rory wanted to go back to her other school with Lane, that would be fine with Lorelai. "You don't think I can do it!" Rory infers. That's not true, at all, but Lorelai is worried because her daughter "lost it" in class and it's not part of her personality to lose it like that. As they continue to walk, Lorelai says she can't remember a time when they weren't talking about Rory going to Harvard. And she can't remember if the school is her dream or if it's actually Rory's. Lorelai never got to do the "big fancy college thing," so maybe all this time she was transferring her dreams to her daughter. Rory says "mom" a couple of times -- you know how Lorelai gets when she's on a tangent -- and then sets her straight. If Harvard and Chilton aren't going to make Rory "dancing-through-the-streets happy," then she should forget about them. Rory looks encouraged, explains that she was just behind, and needed to catch up on all the reading. Rory is feeling better; Harvard is her dream. There is more bonding. Rory's not ready to give up on Chilton yet and thanks her mother for yelling at the Headmaster.
The phone rings as they get back home. Lorelai lets the machine pick it up. It's Max. He talked to Headmaster Charleston and he's agreed to let Rory do some extra credit work to make up for the missed test today. This work will, of course, be awful, time-consuming, and extremely painful, but it'll get her caught up "to where she rightfully belongs." He gets in a little "Lorelai, it was a pleasure seeing you." Lorelai smiles. Music that I don't hate swells up and we fade to black.
week: The parallels between mother and daughter continue as they both start dating. It's awkward for Rory because...well, she's sixteen, and, well...it's awkward to try to talk to your mother about your love life. Things get even worse when Rory finds out that Lorelai is dating Mr. Medina.