One of Ben's old patients, played by the same guy who played Norm in Fargo and Drew Carey's cross-dressing brother, is the mayor of Boston, and his name is Sonny Green. We don't get the full name until later, but trust me, it's easier to just say it now. Sonny is also trying to decide whether to run for the Senate. In Ben's office, they discuss how Ben went "door-to-door" for Sonny's first campaign, and that campaigns are a lot of stress. Sonny says that it's weird, because he never had to decide whether or not to run before -- he just did it. Ben asks how his wife (Teddy) feels about this, and Sonny says that he can't talk to her about it. Ben emphasizes that Sonny's secrets are safe "within these walls," and Sonny laments that he can't have secrets because reporters will find them out. Sonny compares "a man's reputation" to a pile of leaves -- all the work and "one stiff wind and it's gone." Or, he could not put his reputation on the line by doing things his constituents wouldn't like. I'm just saying. Ben doesn't get it, and Sonny reveals that he has a girlfriend. Ben smiles, and then realizes that Sonny isn't kidding. Sonny just sits there and looks like he has a bit of acid reflux.
Max is reading Ben something from his computer screen. It looks to be a press release about how Ben gave Mayor Sonny Green his annual physical examination. Max lays it on thick, name-dropping some of the hospital's features, and Ben calls him on it. Max says, "Don't rush the muse." Hee! Max is funny. I wish this show had more Ben and Max stuff. Ben says it seems a bit much for "some routine bloodwork," and suggests that they should say Ben found the Mayor to be "vigorous, athletic, and in excellent health." Max wonders what it would be like if they all had to issue a press release after their annual physical, and guesses that his would say, "Max Cabranez' personal physician pronounced him happy to have some of his hair left, and amazed to still be alive." Ben discusses some of the politicians (Woodrow Wilson, JFK) whose personal health was kept from the public. Max thinks that a man's hemorrhoids are his business. Amen, brother. I certainly don't want to know about it. Ben points out that they are using the Mayor's fame to promote Ben and the hospital, and then suggests they hold off on the press release for a bit. Max says any hospital would send out the press release. Ben wants to wait until they go over the bloodwork face to face, because they "don't want to jinx it."
Sid is examining a young man who is having a coughing fit. Sid holds up a little cup, and Young Man expectorates into it. Ew. Sid examines the result, and Young Man tells him it's "gross." Sid asks about Young Man's parents, who are apparently "around," and then says Young Man has pneumonia and will be transferred to City Hospital. Young Man does not want to go City Hospital, because he was "told to go to" Metropolitan General. When Sid asks about insurance, Young Man says, "It's taken care of." There's some back-and-forth over how Young Man is supposed to know when Sid is asking a question, because his voice doesn't go up at the end, and Young Man was told not to answer any questions. Sid looks at him.
Sid and Boies are walking down the hall. Sid is giving the bullet on Young Man, whose pneumonia started out as a cold, and outlines the treatment. Boies tells him, "You're all over this, little man!" and says that Sid might make chief resident in a year. Sid wants nothing to do with it, but Boies points out that it would give him honor, which equates to respect. Sid would rather finish up at the hospital and start making money, because he thinks money is respect. Boies tells him it's not. Sid thinks maybe "money is chicks." Boies says he has money, and no chicks. Wait, he has money? I thought the whole reason Sid didn't want chief resident is because there's no money. Yet Boies, chief resident, has money. Is he independently wealthy? His coat is awfully nice. Aw, who knows?
Wyatt is on the phone, whispering completely disgusting "widdle honey bear"-type sweet nothings -- to his wife, we presume. Boies walks into the office and hears the embarrassing love talk. Wyatt notices Boies and gets off the phone. Boies complains that Wyatt is sitting in his chair. Wyatt says he was "just warming it up for [him]" and explains that his wife is in Germany for the week. Boies makes a big production out of not being able to sit in the chair until it cools off, as Wyatt continues to make excuses about how his wife went to Wiesbaden to visit her best friend in the Army. Boies thinks Wyatt should be worried, since "there's more sex going on in the Army than any other realm of American life." Wyatt clarifies that his wife is visiting "her best girl friend," but Boies counters that there are "all kinds of sex" (to which I say, don't ask, don't tell), and while "the cat's away, the mice will play." Wyatt points out that in his case the cat, who is away, is also the one who will play. Boies says Wyatt is "banned from the phone," and Wyatt says, "Don't get mad at me because you mangled a proverb." The chair-banning escalates to two weeks, plus banishment from coffee, as Wyatt continues to argue. Wyatt says he'll drink the nurses' coffee, which Boies points out costs money. Wyatt takes off to find some coffee with money in hand. Boies sings out after him, "Be all that you can be." Don't these people have lives to save or something? I enjoy the banter as much as the viewer, but what was the point of that scene really? I guess to establish that Wyatt's wife is in Germany.
Ben walks into his office, and his assistant tells him that the Mayor's office confirmed Sonny's appointment at three. Ben goes to his computer to make sure that the bloodwork is in. He stops and stares at the screen, and we focus in on something that says, "Prostate Specific Antigen." I have no idea what that indicates (obviously something to do with the prostate), but the music of foreboding starts up, so it must be bad.
Cherry peeks in the window in the door to Ben's office, and starts to slowly open the door, because he's trying to sneak in for some reason. Before he can open the door, a burly guy comes out and stares Cherry down. We ascertain that the Mayor is in Ben's office, and Burly Guy is the police captain, as well as the Mayor's security detail. After some banter, Burly Guy asks Cherry to move along. Cherry notes that Burly Guy is "manning the velvet rope" and doesn't know what the big deal is. Burly Guy says it seems like a big deal to Cherry, and takes out a little notebook to write down Cherry's name. Cherry makes the "uh-oh" face and scoots along.
Sonny is all fired up about his test results. Ben tells him that the results don't mean that he has prostate cancer, but that they need to do more tests. Sonny just wants to know how quickly he can get the whole thing over with. Ben offers to get him in to see the Chief of Urology as quickly as possible, but Sonny wants Ben to handle the whole thing, because his health woes can't get out to the public. Ben says they can get the results the day, and encourages Sonny to talk to Teddy, his wife. Sonny says he can't talk to her, and that it's his decision. Ben has a really ugly Christmas tie on. Christmas? Ben offers to take this whole situation one step at a time. Sonny wants a week to figure it all out, and Ben reminds him that it could be cancer, which is nothing to fool with. Sonny repeats his request for one week. Hmm, a busy guy with marital issues who has cancer? Where have I seen this storyline before?
Wyatt and Stiles are checking out some mice in a cage. Wyatt says that people are not mice, and Stiles goes on and on about all the ways in which mice make perfect research subjects for human medicine. Wyatt says, "When the cat's away, the mice will play." Stiles doesn't get that he's not talking about the mice in the cage anymore. Cherry comes in and points out that mice like cheese and people like cheese. How did this guy ever get a medical degree? Wyatt repeats that people are not mice.
Ben is talking to some guy, probably the Chief of Urology. That's what I'm going to assume, since they're discussing the results of Sonny's tests. Urology Chief confirms that Sonny has cancer, and surgery is the best option. He bases this diagnosis on "the art of the finger," which is really more information than I needed about Sonny's exam. Ben questions the surgery route, and asks about sexual function after surgery. Urology Chief explains that the studies define sexual function as "sufficient to achieve penetration" and likens it to "stuffing a pillow through a mail slot." Again, imagery I really didn't need. Ben doesn't know how he's supposed to advise Sonny about his options when the numbers are so vague. Urology Chief says that this is a common problem, but no one talks about it. Urology Chief also says that the wives tend to choose surgery, and the subsequent loss of sexual function, because they want their husbands around and the sex part "doesn't matter." Urology Chief cracks that sex "only makes the world go 'round," and walks off. Hey, I like Urology Chief. I hope he shows up again.
Sonny is out on the roof, and Cherry comes out for a smoke. Cherry approaches Sonny, saying he's "one of [Sonny's] biggest fans." Sonny bums a smoke from Cherry, after they both promise not to tell Ben. Cherry starts laying it on thick about Sonny's athletic career, and how much he admires him. Sonny keeps saying he wants to be alone, but Cherry's not getting it, until Sonny busts out with, "Pal, you are so far up my ass, you can't see your shoes." Ha! Cherry walks away, and Sonny apologizes. After some banter about flattery, Sonny tells Cherry that no one is supposed to know that Sonny is in the hospital, but Sonny has an MRI and he needs someone he can trust to answer his phone. Cherry is up for the job, so Sonny hands him the phone and his briefcase and takes off.
Ben and Lab Guy are looking at a picture of Adolf Hitler on a screen. Ben reads the inscription about how Hitler didn't drink alcohol or smoke, and Lab Guy says it's ironic because Hitler was so healthy, and a lot of good it did him. Lab Guy shows Ben the slides of Sonny's cancer, and questions surgery as the best treatment. Ben takes this in, and then tells Lab Guy that the people who donated the lab facility like to stop in every once in a while and they probably wouldn't appreciate the irony of the Hitler picture. Lab Guy gets it.
Wyatt is getting dressed in the locker room -- or dressing room, or whatever it is -- when Ollie walks in. Wyatt observes that they are the two on call tonight. They banter about coffee, and Ollie asks Wyatt to turn his back while she changes. Wyatt says he's "an old married guy" and thus harmless. Ollie retorts that he'd like to think he's harmless, and that she likes to think that he's not. Wyatt is confused. Or aroused. Or something. Stiles comes in and compliments Ollie's tattoos, which causes Wyatt to be even more confused, or aroused, or whatever he is.
Young Guy (Sid's patient from earlier) is crashing. Boies gives some orders, and they start to roll the gurney out of the room. Sid runs in and tells the kid to "hang in there."
Ben is explaining the treatment options to Sonny and his wife, Teddy. Teddy clarifies that both radiation and surgery would cure Sonny, and expresses relief that the cancer is curable. Teddy wants to know which treatment will get Sonny back to work faster. Sonny says there will be "permanent side effects," and Teddy reminds him that they've always dealt with bad news by dusting themselves off and getting back in the race. Ben explains that the surgery would mean a month before he's back to his routine, and radiation would be more long-term. Teddy decides that the surgery is "more definitive," so that's what they're going with. Sonny brings up another alternative that Ben mentioned, the "watching and waiting" approach. Ben explains that they use that approach in England, whereas American treatment tends to be more aggressive. Teddy likens that to "hiding your head in the sand" and asks Sonny if he really wants to run for Senate with this question hanging over his head. Sonny says he hasn't decided whether or not to run, and outlines some other possible career moves. Teddy says that people will feel sorry for him, and Sonny says that maybe she could feel sorry for him "for one damn minute!" Ben says they need to focus on the medical issues. Sonny tells him to "cut the damn thing out." Teddy reminds Sonny that in the past, nothing was more important than the race. Sonny says that is true for her, and he realized that just now. Teddy says she had a miscarriage three weeks before Sonny's first big election, and she still went out and campaigned for him. Sonny says that he can't believe she's talking about her sacrifices. Teddy says it's about the two of them, and when Sonny pauses, asks if there's something he wants to tell her. When Sonny doesn't answer, Teddy asks the same question of Ben. Ben offers to leave them alone, and Teddy says there are no secrets between the three of them, and that the issue on the table is whether this surgery will make Sonny impotent. Teddy blurts out that Sonny is seeing another woman. No one says anything. Sigh. Commercial.
Cherry is on Sonny's cell phone, giving guff to some reporter. Ollie comes in and forces him to get off the phone, which Cherry does by pretending he's driving through a tunnel. Ollie is mad that Cherry has a cell phone at all, since they're not allowed in the hospital, and that he is making calls from a patient's private room. Cherry brags about whose phone it is, without actually saying the name. Ollie pulls him up by his nose. Hee! Cherry tells her that her "toughie act" is what keeps the boys away. Ollie leaves.
Sid is telling Boies about all the tests he's run on Young Guy, all of which ruled out various problems, but he's no closer to a cure and now the guy is "going to die in the hospital." They do that thing (so common on this show, and so annoying to recap) where they have two totally different conversations. Sid is talking about an eighteen-year-old's idea of heaven being "two titties and a beer bong." Boies is talking about how the problem could be "something obvious." Bottom line: Sid doesn't want Young Guy to die because it will "disrupt everything."
Max tells Ben that he's starting to get questions about the Mayor being in the hospital. Ben says Sonny isn't ready to talk about it, and wonders if they're trying to protect the Mayor, or the hospital. Max says he doesn't want the story to get out, and for Sonny to think that the leak came from Ben. Ben admits that Sonny has prostate cancer, but hasn't decided on a course of treatment. Max busts out some PR-speak that he can tell reporters. Ben asks Max why he left his wife. Max doesn't want to talk about it, but finally admits that "she knew all his tricks," and thus the magic was gone.
Reporters clamor around the mayor, asking if he's going to announce a run for Senate. The mayor finds ways to not answer the question, while gazing at one reporter in particular -- I guess that's his girlfriend? Especially since he tells them that he has raised three kids and been married to the same woman for a long time, so his life is not entirely politics. Supposed Girlfriend gazes at him reproachfully. Dude, it's one thing for him to have a girlfriend, but she's a reporter? Bad idea.
Ollie is fixing some sort of motor on some sort of apparatus. Wyatt is watching her and making smart remarks. He shares that his wife married him because of his cooking, and that he used to work at the best restaurant in Boulder. Ollie says that, being from New York, that doesn't impress her. Wyatt offers to cook steaks for her. Ollie accepts, and says she'll cancel her plan. Wyatt babbles about his wife being out of town, and then asks what Ollie wants on the side. Ollie replies, "Scotch." Well, then. I think Wyatt is getting himself in over his head.
Sid is talking to Young Guy. Well, Sid is talking, but Young Guy has to write everything on a pad of paper, because he has a tube in his mouth. Sid asks about Young Guy's home and work environment, and his parents. Young Guy draws a square, meaning that his parents are squares. Sid tells Young Guy that he had better start answering his questions or Sid will "step on [his] air hose." Young Guy writes down a name: Lou Peda.
Ben and Sonny are in a bar, talking about Sonny's girlfriend. Sonny says that it's partly about sex, and he never fell for Teddy the way that he's fallen for this girl. Ben says, "Sex isn't love." Sonny replies that "respect, and partnership, and admiration aren't love either." Ben says that sex isn't deep, but Sonny replies that every guy thinks about it every five minutes. Ben clarifies that sex doesn't last, and Sonny brings up that it's especially important when some doctor tells you you're never going to have it again. Ben says he never thought Sonny was that kind of guy, and Sonny explains that the whole thing has been very unreal, and then says that he got his guitar out of the attic recently. Teddy never liked the guitar, because she thought it was "low class." Sonny and Ben sing a little song, and then Sonny says that he wanted to sing to his new girlfriend.
Sid and Boies go to an address Sid has written on a piece of paper. Boies gives Sid the advice, "Charge a gun, run from a knife." Sid knocks on the door and, after some back-and-forth with the gatekeeper, is allowed in. Boies, who the doorman refers to as "the moolie," has to wait outside.
Sid is talking to the man we assume is Lou Peda, played by Jon Polito, a.k.a. Crosetti on Homicide. I guess this was Paul Attanasio's way of making it up to Polito for being written out of Homicide so early on. Anyway, Peda has a lot of birds. A lot. All kinds. Peda really likes the birds. He yells at Sid for eating chicken, because they are birds. Sid asks what Young Guy does for Peda. We now know his name is Howie, but I'm sticking with Young Guy for the sake of consistency. Peda says that Young Guy "helps with the birds."
Sid is talking to Lab Guy about Young Guy's disease, which can apparently only be contracted from handling birds. Lab Guy asks about the bird-handling and Sid changes the subject, because he's afraid of Peda, see.
Boies gives Wyatt guff over having Ollie over for dinner. Boies invites himself over, but Wyatt says he doesn't have enough food, and then says he wouldn't be able to relax. Boies continues to give him shit, because that's what he lives for. This guy needs to get a life. Taking potshots at Wyatt is way too easy. Wyatt gets all indignant and huffs off.
Wyatt is contemplating his beads (what the hell are those things?) as Ollie walks up and says they should have tater tots with their steaks. Wyatt starts to blow her off, but Ollie can't believe it. Wyatt says he didn't know this was such a big deal to her. Ollie says, "You think this is a big deal to me?" and walks away. Wyatt says, "It isn't?" End of scene.
Sonny comes into Ben's office and says that he has decided to wait six months before starting any course of treatment. Ben points out that the cancer could spread, and he wouldn't recommend waiting. Sonny thinks Ben doesn't approve of him, and Ben is all about trying to separate out his personal feelings. Sonny wants it to be simple. Ben says that Teddy's anger comes from her strong belief in Sonny, and how much she doesn't want to lose him. Ben thinks that is love. Sonny looks like he's going to cry.
Ben is lecturing to a class about how what separates humans from animals is a mystery, and how scientists still can't explain everything about the human body. As Ben talks, we see Sonny walking up to a podium to make an announcement. Both Teddy and the reporter girlfriend are there. In class, Wyatt looks over at Ollie, who is looking straight ahead. Cut to Sonny making the announcement that he's not going to run for Senate. Teddy looks disappointed and starts walking out. Sonny goes on to say that all politicians say that they want to spend more time with their family when they are ten points down in the polls, but he really just wants to spend more time with his wife. Teddy stops and looks back. Reporter girlfriend leaves. Sonny says that he needs to repair his marriage, and that Teddy will have to listen to him play the guitar. I kind of feel bad for reporter girlfriend. What a shitty way to find out that your boyfriend is going back to his wife. I mean, she knew he was married and all, but it still kind of sucks. Teddy and Sonny look happy.
Ollie is telling Boies in a bar that she wasn't flirting with Wyatt, that she really just wanted the steaks. Boies isn't buying what she's selling. Ollie says that she's too strong for most men, and they can't stand up to her. Boies scoffs and says that's not what he sees, and then says Ollie will have to buy him a steak to find out what he really sees. Ollie could comb her hair. It's very ratty.
Wyatt is on the phone with his wife, saying that everything about the city is so new. His final words are, "Of course, I love you."
week: It looks like Sid makes a mistake that causes a patient to die, and Sid and Boies have to answer about it to Ben.