Ben is doing the morning thing with his kids. Breakfast is made. Kids ask a lot of questions. Schedules are arranged. Ben reveals that Mrs. Lee, the nanny, is "taking a personal day." The daughter wants strawberries, but the strawberries are moldy. Ben tries to explain a personal day to his younger son. The older son comes in wearing a leather jacket, and Ben objects, until the son reveals that theater club is today, and he is a Jet. The daughter keeps whining for strawberries. Ben gets increasingly agitated about the personal day. The phone rings, and older son's rides to school seems to have fallen through. Younger son goes to pick up the coffee carafe, and drops it on the floor, breaking it. Ben yells at him. The kids all look at him warily. Ben kneels in front of his son, hugs him, and apologizes. So, we know that Ben can't manage his household without Mrs. Lee, and that he perhaps has a bit of a temper. And three cute kids. But not in a smarmy, Raven-Symone-cute way.
Ben and Max walk into the hospital. Ben is complaining about how his life is "gossamer," and all it takes is a breeze for the whole thing to fall apart. Max insists that he wants it that way. Perhaps the scene would have been improved if Max had busted out with the Backstreet Boys song. Max reminds Ben about the "trustees' meeting at three," to which Ben replies, "Oh, fat chance." Max walks away. Cherry, Sid, and Stiles walk up. Ben asks Cherry if he has "a moment," and Cherry smugly whispers, "Many are called, few are chosen," to his friends. Ben asks Cherry to put his bag and coat in his office, and then asks Stiles what she knows about asthma. Ben and Stiles take off. Cherry and Sid wax philosophical about their missed opportunity.
Ben fills Stiles in on this asthma patient. Seems she is the wife of a guy Ben treated "back in the day." Stiles, being British, doesn't understand what "back in the day" means. Ben explains that it was when he was younger and "feckless." Stiles asks what it means now that he is older and "full of feck." Ben warns her that today could be the day when his feck "boils right out of him." This is the banter I've been telling you so much about. Just thought I would give you a sampling.
A woman has a great deal of difficulty breathing, even thought she has an oxygen mask strapped to her face. Ben walks in and addresses her as "Maria" and speaks some high-school Spanish to her. Ben gives some lab orders to Stiles, telling her that Maria is "a very special person to [him]."
Cherry inspects the ears of a young girl. Her Overprotective Father hovers nearby. The girl explains that she caught a cold in August, and since then, her hearing has not been what it used to be in her right ear. She runs down the list of antibiotics she has tried, but none have worked. As the girl explains about how her ear is "gunky," her Overprotective Father tries to read the chart in Cherry's lap. Cherry checks out the ear and gives the professional medical opinion that "it's a mess in there all right." Are we sure this guy went to medical school? Overprotective Father says it's "unacceptable" for his daughter to lose her hearing because she is a "violin prodigy." Cherry wants to admit her to the hospital. Cherry creepily flirts with the girl and ignores the father.
Ben's assistant comes in and says Ben's daughter has a fever. At first, Ben thinks she should stay at school, but then he realizes he's being silly. His assistant brings up Mrs. Lee's personal day. Ben says that the personal day has an "air of grievance, as if somehow by overpaying her and finding jobs for her relatives, [he's] trespassed upon something that belongs to her." Yeah, that's an example of the torturous dialogue in this show. I mean, Andre Braugher can pull it off, but it's a bitch to type out. The pause button on my VCR remote is nearly broken, and I've only had the thing two weeks. The point is, though, that I wouldn't want to work for Ben. Anyway, Ben is going to pick up his daughter, and his assistant is going to "juggle things around." Ben vows that he and Mrs. Lee are going to "have it out."
Stiles and Boies are checking out Maria's x-rays. Turns out that she originally went to an HMO. Oh, I get it. This is the "HMOs are evil" subplot. Stiles tells Boies that Ben assigned her to the case, tacking on Cherry's "many are called but few are chosen" quote. Boies takes the time to fill her in on the entire quote from which that phrase is taken. Basically, a king orders some guy to be bound hand and foot and cast into the darkness, because "many are called and few are chosen." I wish I had the ability to just start quoting Biblical verses at will. But I'm too lazy to memorize stuff like that. Anyway, once she's heard the context, Stiles isn't so sure that she likes the saying anymore. Boies tells her that "it's [Gideon's] patient, but it's [Stiles's] butt." They stare at the x-ray some more. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to know something about this woman's condition from the x-ray or not.
Ben carries his sick daughter into his office. A young woman is waiting outside, and it turns out to be Maria's daughter. Ben greets her warmly and invites her into his office. Once inside, Ben says that her mother's tests should be back shortly. The girl reveals that the doctor at the HMO didn't do any tests, just "gave her an inhaler and told her to come back in three months." The girl says that since her mother's English isn't great, she takes her to all of her appointments. Ben says she did the right thing in bringing her mother to the hospital, and explains about the "diagnostic tree" that caused the HMO doctor to make his diagnosis. The daughter blames the HMO's shoddy treatment partially on the fact that they saw her mother as "just another Hispanic cleaning lady in the waiting room." Ben gives a long speech about how Maria inspired him when he was a young doctor, and he's "never forgotten her." The daughter can't even imagine losing her mother.
The loopy doctor from earlier episodes -- he might even be some sort of lab guy -- is talking to Stiles while looking at some x-rays. He goes on about some water flower that grows quickly and can "clog up shipping lanes." Must everyone on this show speak in metaphor? Ben comes in and says, "My God. Maria has leukemia." Stiles relays, apropos of nothing, that Maria's daughter seemed to expect Stiles to do something, but Stiles didn't know what to do. Ben says deadpan, "It's a teaching hospital. You're here to learn. We could call it a learning hospital, but that would scare the patients." Ben gives Stiles some more orders about how to clear up Maria's lungs. It's apparently very bad. Ben says that Maria has been "suffering for months with the wrong diagnosis" when it's something "any medical student could have seen" if the HMO weren't too busy to do blood work. Oh, those HMOs. They are evil.
Ben calls "Back Bay Health Management" and gets put on hold, so he's listening to a Muzak version of the theme from A Summer Place. Actually, it's probably the original. How could you tell the difference?
Some doctor is complaining to Cherry about Overprotective Father. Cherry is worried that the girl will lose her hearing permanently. The doctor is completely unconcerned, even suggesting that the girl is a hypochondriac, or that she got the infection on purpose so that she wouldn't have to listen to her parents. Cherry says he is worried, because he had parents like that himself. Other doctor invites Cherry to take over the case. Cherry needs a haircut.
Ben is still on hold, still listening to the same song. He sighs.
Maria is sitting up in bed, obviously doing much better. She's even eating Jell-O. Stiles learns that Maria's daughter is pre-med. I wish they would tell me her name. Stiles promises that Dr. Gideon will be in later this morning, and leaves. Daughter follows Stiles out and asks if her mother is really getting better. Stiles tries to not answer the question, and promises to do her best.
Ben is still on hold. Someone actually answers, and asks where to direct the call. Ben gets put on hold again. Same music.
Cherry goes in to see Linda, the violin prodigy. She's all scrambling into her robe. Cherry tries to revive the witty banter they had going earlier, but Linda keeps trying to get rid of him. If this were ER, she'd be doing drugs. Cherry tries to update her on her case, and wonders why Linda is rushing him out. A cough is heard from the bathroom. Cherry opens the door and a young guy pops out and bangs his head on the door accidentally. Linda introduces him as "Peter Yoo," and he's apparently her secret boyfriend. See, Peter is Chinese, and Linda is Korean, so her father has a problem with it. Peter is also extremely goofy. Cherry reveals that Linda is eighteen years old. Dude! She looks about ten. Cherry gives out advice on "playing [her] parents," by relaying a story of how he once brought a male actor home from college, and pretended it was his boyfriend, and from then on, any girl he brought home was totally cool with his parents. Linda absorbs this information.
Ben is trying to enter some the doctor's name into the phone using his keypad. He's told he is being transferred, but immediately gets put on hold again. He yells, "Oh, hell!" and slams the phone down. So HMOs are not just evil -- they have sucky phone systems as well. Got it.
Ben is talking to Crusty Old Doctor (COD) at the HMO. Ben says that his asthma diagnosis actually turned out to be leukemia. Ben outlines the treatment. COD says it sounds right. Ben says that he wants to arrange for Maria to receive treatment at his hospital, but COD points out that they could do it at the HMO. Ben makes up something about her advanced condition warranting hospital care, but what he really means is, "You screwed up, and I'm not letting you have her back." COD's having none of it. Ben starts questioning COD's treatment. COD gets defensive and says that he has "ten Maria Montoyas in his waiting room every morning" and he "follows the clinical algorithm." Ben keeps arguing, and COD gives him the name of the person who has to approve out-of-network services, and dismisses him. Ben fires the parting shot: "This can't possibly be why you became a doctor." You know, Ben is right, but does he have to be so damn smug about it?
Ben arrives home and launches into an explanation of why he's late. Mrs. Lee gets her coat on and says she doesn't mind. Ben points out that she did just have a personal day, and Mrs. Lee says she's feeling good about it. Ben wants to have a chat. Mrs. Lee feels that there's nothing to talk about. Ben wants to talk about her attitude, and he points out all of the great things he gives to Mrs. Lee when she doesn't "do much but drive [the kids] around all day." Ooh, that's not good. Mrs. Lee tells him, albeit calmly and quietly, "Kiss my ass." Go, Mrs. Lee. Ben's all, "If you don't like it, find another job." Mrs. Lee says she already has -- she had a job interview on her personal day. Ben's offended. Mrs. Lee tells him everything that is wrong with her job, especially that her own family is suffering, gives her two weeks' notice, and walks out. Yikes.
Way out-of-focus shot becomes slowly in-focus. It's Ben. He goes into Maria's room to find out that she's doing much better. Daughter says her mom is willing to do chemotherapy. Ben explains the risks involved, and that they should have done it six months ago. Maria wants to know her choices. Ben thinks she should fight it, and Maria agrees. Ben explains that they can do the first round at the hospital, but she'll have to go to the HMO for the rest of the treatments. Daughter is angry, because she feels that the HMO doctor nearly killed her mother. Ben says he'll stay on top of it, and he thinks "everything will be okay." Daughter asks if he would say that if it were his own mother. Do you think doctors get sick of that question?
Ben and Max are having lunch in Max's office. Mmm, sandwiches. Ben wants to treat Maria anyway. Max throws out a bunch of numbers to prove it's a bad idea. Basically, he gives the "HMOs are necessary" argument, just so ABC doesn't lose all their advertising money from HMOs. Ben is upset that COD was so morally superior, "like he's Hawkeye Pierce or some damn thing." Um, isn't that the morally superior pot calling the kettle black? Max says COD is right -- wrong, but right. That Max is a man of contradictions. Ben say that the "plush office" is turning Max into "a number cruncher." Ben thinks there must be something they could do. Max says he knows a lawyer who might be able to help. Well, he says it in a much more convoluted way, but that's the gist. I'm just trying to spare you the extensive dialogue here.
Some cheesy guy kisses Maria's hand and says he knows she is worried about her daughter. I guess he's the Hispanic Johnnie Cochran. He's like Juan Cochran. Yeah, that's what I'm calling him. Ben comes in, and Juan says that he's taking the case, and he'll need Ben's help, even though doctors like to stick together. On his way out, Juan says his specialty is "pain and suffering" -- he takes it from Maria and gives it to the HMO. Did I mention he's wearing a bolo tie?
Giggles and moans come from Linda's room. Cherry, Sid, Boies, and Ollie sit outside and discuss the fact that she's having sex with her secret boyfriend in there. Couldn't they just knock on the door and ask her to keep it down? Boies is all against it. The others start listing off all the places in the hospital that they've had sex. Boies is shocked, and orders Cherry to figure out what's wrong with her ear so that they can discharge her. Boies equals tight-ass. Got it.
Mrs. Lee is under a sheet with Ben's kids, telling a ghost story. Ben walks in and listens. The kids scurry off for bed, and Ben apologizes to Mrs. Lee. She says she still won't stay. Ben can't believe she's really leaving, but Mrs. Lee says that it's time to move on. Then there's a bit where she teaches him some phrase in another language, but I don't know why it was important.
Maria is crashing. Stiles is running the trauma. Apparently, Maria isn't breathing. Stiles intubates. Maria's heart rate goes back up. That was the most non-traumatic trauma scene ever.
Ben and Stiles observe a worn-out looking Maria. Ben asks about the daughter. He tells Stiles to page him if anything changes, and leaves the room. He finds Daughter sitting on the steps and tells her that her mother's condition is stable, but she's doing poorly, and they may lose her no matter what they do. Daughter blames herself, because she feels that she should have demanded that the HMO doctors do something, or brought her to Ben earlier. Ben takes her hand. I'm sure I'm not doing the scene justice, because it was fairly moving. And there wasn't any banter. It was completely banter-free.
Overprotective Father is upset that Cherry is not answering his questions. Overprotective Father talks about all the sacrifices he has made for his daughter. Cherry starts telling Linda about how his parents wanted him to be a doctor, only date Jewish women, and take piano lessons, and so he did. Linda finishes the story, saying that now he is so unhappy that it's all he can do to get out of bed in the morning. Like, hint hint, Overprotective Father. Linda talks about how her boyfriend has to go back to China soon, and she's thought about going back with him to escape. Overprotective Father is all, "Who's Peter?" Cherry asks when Peter came from China, and when Linda tells him it was six months ago, he gets a wild hair up his ass and leaves.
Cherry and Wacky Lab Guy are examining a slide. Ooh, we get a name for Wacky Lab Guy -- Dr. Pirandello. Excellent. Names are good. Turns out that Linda has tuberculosis, which is epidemic in China, but not so common in the States. Pirandello compliments Cherry's diagnosis, and Cherry says that he is "the Evel Knievel of the intuitive leap." That's pretty good. I don't hate Cherry so much anymore. Pirandello says that Cherry will need to isolate both Linda and Peter. Then, they share that they have both been the secret boyfriend before. Aw, they're bonding.
The hospital lawyer (Ellyn from thirtysomething) is leading Ben into a deposition about Maria's case, and asking him not to be "volatile." Ben is saying that he has matured. They've known each other a long time. There's a lot of banter. Hmm, potential love interest for Ben?
In the deposition, Ben keeps refusing to just answer the questions. He keeps talking, and talking, and talking. Ellyn keeps shooting him looks. The HMO's lawyer keeps saying, "Move to strike," and Ellyn keeps saying, "We withdraw." The HMO's lawyer continues asking if Ben could have really changed things if he had diagnosed Maria's illness earlier. Ben says he would have "fought like hell." Ben and Ellyn walk out of the deposition room in slow motion, as Ellyn shoots Ben a look that says, "Volatile!" Who should be walking in but COD, who asks about "[his] patient." Ben asks if COD even knows her name. And who acts morally superior? COD does know her name, and Ben continues to give him a hard time. COD says that patients die all the time and walks away. Ben stops him and says that there's a girl who will never stop blaming herself for COD's "mistake, and [his] callousness. Never!" This last word is punctuated with Ben poking COD in the chest. That was a bit melodramatic. Then, it gets worse. COD walks away, then stops and stares at Ben. Ben stares at COD. What? What was that for? Can we go back to Mrs. Lee? She kicks ass.
Ben is warning Max that he might have caused some trouble with the deposition. Max tells him not to worry about it -- they settled. Ben is surprised. Max explains that Juan Cochran was negotiating upstairs while Ben was giving his deposition. He shows Ben a copy of the paper with a story about Maria on the front and the headline, "HMO to Widow: Drop Dead." Turns out Juan Cochran had the paper printed up just for his negotiations. It wasn't a real story. What a smooth operator. Max makes a disturbing comment about how you can't fight city hall, but "you can milk them until their nipples bleed." Ew. EW!
Ben comes in and makes small talk with Mrs. Lee. He turns serious and says it's been a hard year for his family, and her family as well. But, it's been a good year for his family because of her. He thanks her. Mrs. Lee points out that the Buddha said, "Life is suffering." Ben points out that the Buddha also said, "The only miracle in the world is a change of heart." Mrs. Lee looks confused, but then smiles and nods. So I guess she's staying.
Cherry sees Linda playing the violin through the window of her room. As he walks out, Maria's daughter walks out of Maria's room and puts on her scarf. The violin music plays us out of the episode. Maybe I'm just overly tired, but I didn't think this episode was as good as the others. Not enough banter. I know I make fun of it, but it's well-written and well-acted banter, so I really don't mind. Maybe week will be the return to banter.