By Jacob
CA fully runs up and stabs a guy for no reason, but luckily he hits up in a non-body part, because he's so fucked up and weird. Meanwhile, Walt is still sad and freaked out by the fact that guns kill people. Not even Espera's Generation Kill speeches -- or Ray makin' out on him and humping his head -- seem to cheer him up. On the other end of the spectrum, Trombley gets to be called "Whopper Jr." now, because he's a Baby Killer. Needless to say, he thinks this is very cool. It's actually not.
Ferrando tells the Platoon Companies that Dowdy, having achieved his mission of getting them into Al Kut, was relieved of his command and his bullets. Why? Don't know. Even Godfather admits he's a good man who achieved his goals. The problem was? Questioning (stupid, bad, wrong, wickedly selfish and self-aggrandizing) orders.
Encino Man decides that this horrible decision by Mattis was actually a coded message to him that he should make Nate Fick's life even more irritating. Everybody simultaneously discovers a surfeit of naked Iraqis everywhere; their clothes having been jacked by The Republican Guard. Nate and Brad discuss how they're now going to be taking Baghdad somehow with Humvees, which freaks everybody out -- although not as much as all their diarrhea. What's worse than diarrhea is Casey Kasem, though, who is now just openly leveraging Nate against Encino Man's favor. It's gross. Nate explains to him how gross he's being and why, and Casey Kasem goes away again.
So then while everybody's walking dead because they have this horrible throwing-up-while-having-diarrhea disease (and have been on the road forever and are broken), a billion fugeez show up and get herded down a road by the Humvees. Literally herded. One chick is like, "Um, thanks so much for 'helping' me walk down a road at gunpoint in my own country, that's awesome of you. I'm from Baghdad, which you're bombing to the stone age, so thanks for that too." They talk about how hot she is -- she is -- and she's like, "No, you can't have my number. Because you blew up my phone."
Somebody accidentally shoots a dude in the head with a blue smoke bomb. Nate manages to listen to Brad talk about his Warrior Spirit without laughing, and gets excited that the war might be ending. Then they pee. It's just one in a series of very serious, very intimate speeches that Brad goes around giving people because he honestly thinks the war is going to end. He's even more awesome every second that goes by.
Captain America tries desperately from inside his craziness to communicate with Fick, but it doesn't work out so well. Godfather manages to get First Recon into a mission to Baqubah, north of Baghdad. Which is even worse because they're dealing with those reservist jerks from Delta Company, whose awfulness some random dude explains at length. Captain America manages to break down in tears on comms, so he's doing well.
Kocher takes some prisoners -- good -- and then gets accused of prisoner abuse -- bad. Needless to say, Captain America is actually the freak who's to blame. Garza trades out his bike helmet for an Iraqi one, which causes the Delta freaks to fire on Bravo Two, because they are idiots. Fick makes a new friend and gets a little kiss, then reminds everybody not to do any war crimes. Bravo ends up Oscar Mike into Baghdad, with prisoners in tow but no particular mission as far as they're aware.