Your Move, Creep

S01E07

However, there are many important ways in which this is not a Facts of Life or Family Ties-style show. So we have to keep going. In Kings Landing, Renly Baratheon asks Ned for a moment alone. He warns Ned that even if Robert named him Protector of the Realm (which she did), Cersei won't care. He wants Ned to hang loose for an hour, during which Renly plans to kidnap Joffrey so he can be king himself. Ned says that even without Joffrey, Stannis is higher in the chain of succession than Renly. Renly doesn't care about the line of succession, because he wants to follow the precedent set by everybody jumping on the Mad King. Ned thinks that Stannis is more kingly, because he's a giant burly soldier, which is what Ned respects. Renly says that being a good soldier doesn't mean you'll be a good king, as evidenced by how lousy Robert's been at it. Ned says, "I will not dishonor Robert's last hours by shedding blood in his halls. And dragging children from their beds." So that's a "No" to the kidnap-Joffrey plan, then. But as soon as he's alone, Ned drafts a letter which he hands to a large gentleman. He tells him to take that letter directly to Stannis Baratheon. No one else. So I guess that's who he means by Robert's "rightful heir." Ned sure spends a lot of time thinking about "what the rules say is correct" when he should be thinking about "what's a good idea." I'm just saying, if he intends to bring Stannis in as New King, he should probably be laying some groundwork first.

Littlefinger enters Ned's office and calls him "My Lord Protector." Ned has had it with the whole concept of politics and secrecy and just straight-up tells Littlefinger that all of Cersei's children are Jaime's bastards and not trueborn sons of the king. Which means that Stannis Baratheon is the rightful heir. For some reason, I thought the armorer's apprentice would get the job, but I guess Ned maintains a clear difference between legitimate sons and bastards. Littlefinger thinks this the Stannis plan is dumb and instead recommends that Ned just let Joffrey take the throne. Then he can be Lord Protector for years and years! If he'd stop being all hung up about who's supposed to be king, he could just be the power behind the throne. Of course, he'd have to make Catelyn release Tyrion and wed Sansa to Joffrey, but that's just common sense. And then, says Littlefinger, they can just wait until Joffrey comes of age before they need to do something like swap Renly in. Ned notices that somewhere along the line, this became a plan where both of them are ruling the country together. Also, this is clearly treason, no matter who you think should be king. Littlefinger says it's only treason if they lose. Ned also objects to the idea of making peace with his enemies, but Littlefinger accurately answers, "We only make peace with our enemies, my lord. That's why it's called making peace." It's true; you're very rarely called upon to make peace with your allies. Anyway, Ned's rejected all of Littlefinger's suggestions, but he wanted to talk to him about something else. He's planning on denouncing Cersei in the middle of court (because that's the worst possible place to do it, I'm assuming), but she's going to have more soldiers there than he is. So he'd like Littlefinger to let him use the Goldcloaks of the City Watch to bolster his personal guard. Littlefinger mocks him a bit for not just saying something like "I want a bunch of extra soldiers on my side for when I try to stage a coup." He then gets somewhat philosophical: "When the queen proclaims one king and the Hand proclaims another, whose peace do the Goldcloaks protect?" Answer: "The man who pays them."