By Montykins
First things first: yes, there are boobs. Also butts and a couple of people say "fuck." So HBO is definitely on the case.
Now, there are a lot of characters, so let's do some introductions. Lord Eddard Stark and Lady Catelyn Stark rule over Winterfell, where they have children named Bran (young boy with a mullet), Arya (young girl with a penchant for archery), Sansa (less-young girl who likes boys), and Robb (I don't think he did anything interesting in this episode). They've also got Jon Snow, who is a bastard. And he's pretty touchy about it. Also, there's supposed to be a baby named Rickon, but I didn't see him at all.
They are visited by the king, who brings along a squad of Lannisters, including his queen Cersei, her (male) twin Jaime, and their brother Tyrion, who is a dwarf. He claims not to be touchy about it, but I wouldn't push it.
Meanwhile, on another continent, we've got some Targaryens. They're a white-haired jerk named Viserys and his sister Danaerys. The Targaryens want to take the throne back, so Viserys is marrying Danaerys off to a big, shirtless savage.
That's most of the people, so here's what happens in the pilot. First, Lady Stark's brother-in-law Jon Arryn, who used to be the Hand of the King, is dead. So the king wants Lord Stark to take the job, and also for Sansa to marry his son Prince Joffrey. Stark's decision is complicated by the story that the Lannisters might have killed Jon Arryn. But he decides to take the job anyway.
Then Bran, who is climbing the castle walls, sees Cersei and Jaime Lannister having twincestuous sex, so Jaime throws him out a very high window.
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