Vince's ego continues to bring its A game to the A plot. We open on a game already lost and piece together what happened via flashback and announcer voice over. Luke and Vince scrap in the locker room post-game, each blaming the other for the loss. But later on Crowley pinpoints the exact problem when he tells Eric that Vince, too busy showboating and being recruited, has lost control of his team. Coach Taylor benches Vince for one practice. Ornette tells Vince it's just a "power move" on Coach's part, to show them who's in charge. No need to worry. But when Vince fails to show up to a one-on-one mentoring session with Luke, Eric goes whole hog and benches Vince for the game. No matter how much Luke begs Coach NOT to keep him in as QB1, Coach persists, drawing out, once again, some hidden well of strength and confidence from a faltering boy, and Luke leads the team to a win and -- more importantly for those of us depending on the drama of a final playoff series -- a spot in the after season. Meanwhile, teamless Vince ends up Jess-less as well, as Jess finally gets sick of his narcissism. The poor kid is all floating and alone and lost until his mother finally steps up and tells him that maybe he shouldn't always listen to his father.
Tami continues to mentor Epyck, coaxing out the tough girl's soft side when she invites her over for dinner during which Gracie Bell works her Brian Eno charm. But when Laurel accuses Epyck of stealing money from her purse, the subsequent meeting between the three escalates and finds Epyck accidentally shoving Tami's head into a plate glass window. Ouch. Tami protests -- "Y'all it was just an accident!"-- but Epyck gets hauled off by the police and sent to juvie. And thus Tami Taylor's Dangerous Minds Gangster's Paradise dreams are dashed.
Becky works a different dream, and that is the one where the teen abortionee takes a job at a strip club (okay so she was only filling in temporarily for Mindy) and reconciling herself to her boyfriend's abortion-protesting mom. Yes, it's a very specific dream, but it's one I'm totally behind, because I am completely charmed by Becky under the influence of Mindy. I wish Almodovar would do a movie titled "Women Under the Influence of Ole Sis." But, sorry to bury this particular lede: Mindy needed the night off of work because... she is pregnant again! Pregnant by the "nacho smelling" Billy Riggins. Mmmm, nacho baby.
Too sophisticated for nachos are the sweetly white-wine-drinking Matt and Julie. Julie is hanging out aimlessly in a frustratingly not-really-on-location Chicago, and Matt likes it, but obviously wonders exactly what her plan is. When he asks her what her plan is, she takes some slight offense, interpreting this is as a "please leave." But as she packs herself up to go and starts driving off, Matt stops her and tells her that they're going to figure this all out and they both whisper, so self-seriously, to one another: "I love you." Young love!
Jess groans as she picks up trash from the sidelines of an empty football field. Announcer voiceover informs us that the East Dillon Lions' undefeated season is over, and we flash to the scoreboard to confirm. The lights click off and Jess asks the universe, "Really?"
In the locker room, Vince and Luke argue about whose fault the loss was. Flashback to the game where Luke is on the field when he's not supposed to be and draws a yellow flag for the Lions. Back in the locker room, Vince claims that Luke's mistake cost them the first half; Luke counters by saying it wasn't his fault, he was exhausted because defense was on the field the whole night trying to hold the line while Vince's offense went nowhere. Back on the field, Vince throws an interception; in the locker room Vince shouts that he was throwing the ball in the right place, just nobody knew their routes. Tinker takes offense and gets into the mix and Vince takes the blame over to Hastings, who is obviously in secret training with Coach regarding expressive hair. Speaking of Coach, he has come silently into the locker room to witness these fools bicker and nitpick. Finally, someone notices Coach is there and they all shut up. Coach stares at them, lips pressed together, and growls, "Y'all get your stuff together and get the hell out of our field house right now." Over in the corner, a small radio carries the sounds of post-game analysis and we hear the announcers talking about how Coach Taylor has given his team free rein all year, and tonight's disaster is the result. Coach picks up the radio and dumps it in the trash can. Jess flinches as it clunks the metal. Jess, lurking around, waiting for her own plot.
Matt folds some blankets as Julie comes out of the bathroom with wet hair. And just because I am a Chicago freak, I was really tickled by how hard the prop folks worked trying to make these spaces that are clearly in Austin into "Chicago." In this scene, there is Chicago CTA map tacked to the wall. Julie dries her hair some and tells Matt that she knows she was supposed to leave today, but she's been having such a good time in Chicago that she thinks she'll stay a while; she doesn't have anything she needs to be back for urgently. Julie Taylor! Go back to school! Matt is obviously kind of taken aback by her declaration, but tells her -- awkwardly -- that this plan to stay longer is fine. They both stand around not really looking at one another.
Lions coach's meeting. Spivey and Billy talk strategy about how to continue on to the playoffs, but Eric is focused on Coach Crowley's silent presence. "Is there something you want to say?" he demands. Crowley looks up and says that they all know what the problem is: "It's Vince. He's lost his team." Eric meets his eyes with begrudging acknowledgement. And if you've ever been in a point position like quarterback -- whether that's in the classroom or leading a meeting or whatever -- you know how fragile the ecosystem can be; you can lose a room in a split second. And that's terrifying. And it's what Crowley is talking about. How can a team progress without a quarterback?
Credits. Epyck slumps into Tami's office. Tami greets her brightly. Epyck tells her that she has a test coming up on Friday in Texas History and she needs a B- to pass the class. Tami tells her that they'll just have to hope for that B-. Epyck start unpacking her valise full of excuses-- if she fails the class she'll have to repeat the 10th grade (Tami: "That's not true"), she can't work on it in the after school tutoring program because Laurel hates her (Tami: "No, she doesn't") -- until Tami finally asks her what she obviously hoped Epyck would get to on her own: "Would you like me to help you?" It's obviously difficult for her, but Epyck finally says that she needs help and Tami tells her she'll be happy to help her.
Becky and other rally girls work on posting up "Senior Week" signs all around the bleachers. Luke talks about how this isn't a big deal, it's just for moms and dads, but Becky tries to tell him that Senior Week IS a big deal, it'll be the last time SHE sees him in his cute little Lions uniform. As they smooch it up, she tells him that she wants to take him out after the game but he ruins the moment by telling her that his mom and dad are really into this whole thing and want to take him out after the game. Left unsaid is that Becky is not welcome, what with her ruined lady parts and all. Becky tells him that she understands and he tells her she's the best and then leaves and we watch Becky's face go round and round a bit, obviously not okay with being the ruined woman on the side.
Football practice. Coach tells his players as they kneel that last week was a complete breakdown of everything they believe in. But that in his gut, there's only one thing standing between the Lions and the playoffs and it isn't their opponents: it's themselves. He tells them he will not allow them to undo themselves, that they've spilled too much sweat and blood on the field. And then? He nonchalantly instructs Vince to let Luke wear the red QB jersey in practice today. Luke and Vince are stunned. Billy comes up and literally strips the red jersey off of Vince and hands it to Luke. Vince goes running after Coach to protest, but Coach won't have it. He tells the kid that the field is not the place for questions and that if he has questions, he can come to Coach's office and ask him then.
Backstage at The Landing Strip, Becky wonders where the back is to a little polyester lace number when Mindy comes in and sinks into a chair, saying she feels so sick and just wants to go home and get into bed. Oh, poor Mindy, whatever will she do? There's certainly not a certain nubile someone just hanging out in the back not doing anything, is there? Oh, but she's underage. Oh, but Mindy is merely WAITING TABLES tonight! Not dancing! Becky is like "LEMME OUT THERE! My boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a dirty whore? I'll show her!" Mindy says no, but her Crack Team of Strippers convince her how safe and perfect a plan this is.
Vince lays his troubles on his father, saying that even though Ornette promised nothing back would come of their practice-skipping trip to Oklahoma Tech, Coach is pissed and taking it out on him. Ornette is starting to seem flushed, brings up the OT "sure thing" again. Meanwhile Vince's mom makes her own faces off to the side, obviously not really feeling Ornette's brand of mentoring any more. Ornette tells his son to get his mind right, that the deal with Coach is "just a power move" just Coach trying to show him who's in charge. Vince is still skeptical until Ornette points out that all that's happened so far is Vince got egg on his face for one practice, "just one practice." Vince is open to this line of reasoning, and allows Ornette to work his charm; Ornette talks about how coaches just want to win, that Vince is the leader and Coach isn't going to mess with that. Vince is totally in the zone of hearing only what he wants to hear and Ornette is a master at delivering that sort of content.
Out on the floor at The Landing Strip, Becky makes her way through the crowds, watching a woman wearing a prairie skirt gyrate on a pole. (Okay, so it's not a prairie skirt -- it's a full-on slip dress, which might as well be a Gunne Sax turtleneck blouse). Becky is wearing a bandeau top and short skirt. She charms a greasy man in a trucker cap, who wonders when she'll be up on stage gyrating in a snowsuit. He slips some money into the waistband of her skirt and she expertly tells him that he'll have to spend a lot more before he sees her up on stage. He tells her to consider this a down payment and she shoots him a smile as she saunters her way out of the room, where she stops to count her wad of bills (not too shabby looking) and then slip it all into her bra top with a smile.
Commercials. Tami and Eric meet up in the hallway at school and mutter-talk about budget cuts, before Coach tells Tami that he's going to get back in touch with that guy who is recruiting him as Head Coach of Shane State. Tami is surprised, but Coach demurs, saying he's just doing all this as a favor to Jason Street. Tami says she doesn't care either way, she likes Atlanta. Coach reminds her that the school is in Florida, which she tells him she knows. She exposits that Epyck is coming over for help on homework tonight while Coach is gone.
Cut over to Coach's office where Vince is waiting. Coach walks in chomping on the sandwich Tami handed him in the hallway in the scene. His mouth full, Coach tells Vince to take some time that night to go over some plays with Luke. Vince protests, saying tonight is no good and wondering why Coach needs Luke to know these plays anyhow. Still chewing, Coach tells him that if he gets hurt, he wants someone other than a freshman that can sub in. Vince rightly points out that Coach hasn't worried about this yet and the season is almost done. "Feels like payback" Vince claims. Coach lets that comment lie and tells Vince that all he's asking for is for Vince to help out a teammate, "You can't do that?" Vince rolls his lips a bit and snarkily says "You got it Coach" and they stare at each other for a while before Vince gets up and leaves.
Luke opens a "100% Satin" tie that Becky has gotten him. 100% satin! Faaaan-ceeeee! Luke says he loves it, "I love it SO much!" This kid. He worries about where Becky got the money for the gift, but she tells him not to worry. I mean, she only had to have one boob copped, right? After he calms down over his SATIN TIE FREAKOUT, Luke realizes that Becky is probably annoyed that she is not invited to this fancy dinner that he'll be wearing the tie to. She plays that she isn't mad, but when Luke confesses that he knows that his mom is stubborn and mean, Becky tells him that she IS mad. That she understands -- his mom scares her, too -- but that it sucks that Luke doesn't do anything to stand up to her. Luke just stands there looking unmanned, unable to stand up to his mom, holding a satin tie that his girlfriend bought with the proceeds of her body and Becky walks off.
Locker room. Vince whine whine whines while Jess loads the washer with jerseys. When Vince hands her his jersey, she snaps and tells him she's sick of him complaining all the time. He tells her that she doesn't have to listen and she wonders if she means that he thinks she should leave. The argument escalates: Vince never wanted her on this team and he can't even trust her after she talked to Coach about where he was on the fateful missed-practice day. Jess reminds him that she's always had his back, that he's the one who's been lying, skipping practice and talking only about himself on television. Nothing is ever Vince's fault. She can't believe he's trying to blame her for all his troubles. "You just can't hear yourself can you? Either that or you got your head so far up your dad's ass....." and once she says that, well, it's kind of over. Because then Vince tells her to watch her mouth, and Jess is like nobody tells me to watch my mouth as she heads for the door and tells him that "We're through, jackass." Locker room door slam.
Over at the Taylor's, Tami tells Epyck to put the books away and focus on eating dinner a bit when Gracie wanders out into the dining area. She gets greeted with lots of high-pitched hellos, and Tami's mind gets blown as she watches Epyck really take to Gracie. The older girl takes the little one in her lap and they talk about Gracie's Starfish Princess doll and Tami can't believe her eyes, watching this "troubled" girl interact so naturally and sweetly with the toddler. I will never understand people who are like this with other people's kids. I mean, I am pregnant with my own and I know I will love it and want to hang with it all the time...but other people's kids? Not so much.
Coach Taylor wanders into the crowded cafeteria looking for Vince. He just looms over him and nods his head, doesn't even have to say anything to get Vince standing up. They move a bit to the side and Coach tells him that he's benched on Friday. He reiterates that Vince has skipped practice and then neglected to show up to help Luke out on the plays. Vince complains that Coach is trying to ruin his future, and Coach tells him that if he keeps running his mouth, he'll be benched for two weeks. Vince answers with a "Sir" and a refusal to look Coach in the eye. "That's what I like to hear" Coach says.
Commercials. Tami washes up in the teacher's lounge when Laurel comes up and tells her that she thinks that Epyck stole $20 from her purse.
At The Playgirl Ranch, Becky and Mindy go back and forth about Becky waiting tables at The Landing Strip. Mindy wants her to wait tables at Red Lobster, but Becky points out that Red Lobster doesn't have men giving you $100 tips there. Yes, Becky, but Red Lobster DOES have Cheddar Biscuits, so....Mindy quickly changes the subject, saying that she doesn't want to talk about this topic anymore, gets up and tosses a plastic stick at Becky. "Don't worry, I washed it." Mindy is pregnant. Becky asks if they were planning this, and Mindy replies -- because she is obviously gunning HARD to be the best character of the season -- "Planning it as in Billy came home drunk like a whiny, horny eighth-grader, climbed on top of me and then passed out on top of me and smelled like nachos the whole time kind of planning it." Becky is excited to have another Stevie around. I am excited because mmmm, Nacho Baby! Mindy does not look so excited. Maybe she doesn't like jalapeños?
Tami, Epyck, and Laurel are in a room trying to get to the bottom of the $20 caper. Epyck insists she didn't take it, calls Laurel "lady" and Tami tells her to have some respect. Epyck wonders if it wasn't two other girls who were there, too, but Laurel insists that it wasn't. Laurel suggests that she just take a look in Epyck's bag and they get into a tussle over it, Epyck refusing to let go, Laurel trying to grab it. Which, honestly Laurel? Slightly unprofessional. You don't physically get into it with your students! So the tussle escalates a bit and the camera is a bit shaky, but basically Epyck's struggle over the purse ends up with her checking Tami into the plate glass window behind her. Tami's head hits the glass hard and everyone stops, shocked, as Tami moans with pain. Laurel sits Epyck down by the shoulders. Epyck apologizes, but everyone knows the white lady in power isn't going to get taken to task over this.
Vince goes to see his mom at work to tell her that he got benched. They go over once again the whole thing where Ornette told Vince that nothing bad would come of his skipping practice. She pulls him aside and tells him how much his father loves him, how much he thinks he's a star, how much...Vince needs to maybe not take his advice all the time. She tells him to think for himself a little bit more. Moms work their magic in mysterious ways. Gentle-voiced, kind of passive, but she just communicated an effing life lesson to her son.
Back at school, the nurse checks Tami out for a concussion. Tami keeps insisting that she's fine, this is all ridiculous when Levi comes in with Eric. Laurel tells Eric that "this little psycho" pushed Tami across the room and Tami asks her to please stop. Some police officers come in and cuff Epyck and Tami starts to lose it, begging Levi to recognize that this was an accident. Also: that walkie talkie the principal is using? Doesn't that just take you back to high school? Epyck gets led down the hall as Tami pleads and pleads, all "For Lord's sake!" to no avail.
Commercials. Coach comes upon Jess in the locker room, hanging up uniforms and crying. He asks if she's okay and she says yes. He inches toward her and asks why she's crying. She apologizes -- and he tells her that she need not say she's sorry -- and then she tells him that she and Vince broke up. She tells him that she won't make a big deal about it, she was only crying because she thought no one was in here. He pauses and then asks her, "You know I've got two daughters, right?" and they look at each other, the girl a crying mess, and then he tells her to take all the time she needs. Dads! Dads! Dads! Damn it, you guys, seriously. I mean, dads, right?
Out on the field Hastings asks why he has no story line when he's got that fabulous hair and those incredible eyebrows. Naw, Hastings asks why Coach is benching Vince. Coach tells him it's because there are rules on the field, and unlike real life, "Nobody is above the rules." Practice starts and Luke is a mess. I wonder if we are going to get to see a boy rise above his own limitations later on?!
Julie and Matt sit around in his apartment having dinner and drinking wine like they are so fancy. (And really, how does he afford this lofty little studio?!) Julie prattles on about her day-- museum, planetarium, The Bean. Matt asks her what she's doing, and she takes this literally, "I'm telling you about my day." But Matt wants to know what she's doing there in Chicago. "Don't you have to go home at some point?" He wonders if her parents even know she's here. He tells her that everything has been great, she's amazing. "I just, I don't want to be your safety net." He tells her that it feels like she's only there because she's trying to avoid some stuff in her life. Julie is not taking any of this very well. Even though she obviously knows that what Matt is saying is true, she's allowing herself to believe that he's rejecting her, because that would actually be easier to deal with. She runs once again, grabbing her coat and saying she needs to go out for some air.
At The Playgirl Ranch, Nachos Sr. is super excited about the new baby. He shouts and acts super sweet. Mindy reminds him that she'll have to quit her job. Billy asks "Who cares?" She worries some more about the premium for maternity coverage, but Billy can't talk and think at the same time. He tells her not to worry, he'll deliver this baby himself if he has to. He exclaims about Riglet number two coming along, leans over to kiss her belly and then sticks the pregnancy test in his mouth like a cigar, "My boys can swim!" Mindy deadpans, "I peed on that."
At home, Tami and Eric sit around and mope a bit. Tami tells Eric that Levi informed her that Epyck is getting sent to another school and is getting put in another home too. Eric reminds her that she did everything she could and then tells us all, "They're teenagers, they can be exhausting and they can come with a hell of a lot of baggage." He tells her that in talking with the guy at Shane State, he started thinking it might be nice to work with adults for a change. Eric Taylor clearly does not read the many trend pieces in The New York Times. College students are not adults! They are tiny regressive babies, suckling alternately at the teats of illegal drugs and upper class privilege! Tami asks if he's seriously pursuing this new job and Eric just kind of grunts and kisses her on the head. There's a light knock at the door, then a doorbell when they -- because they are smooching and being exhausted-by-teenagers adults -- are slow to answer. Eric makes his way to the door and finds Luke there, begging him to start Vince tomorrow. "I don't think I can do it." Eric tells the kid to get his ass in the house.
Commercials. Senior Week pre-game ceremony. Luke gets called out onto the field, where he meets his parents. He gives his mother flowers and she ooohs and ahhs, while his father tells him to give 'em hell. All this going on under the serious eyeballing of Coach Taylor who looks at Luke intensely. Luke is aware. The pressure is on. The game starts and Luke is immediately sacked. On the sidelines, Coach's hair is like spiked with stress. Another play, another snafu. The announcers remark that Luke is really messing up, but Vince still isn't warming up on the sidelines. Ornette hassles Coach from up in the bleachers.
Late in the fourth quarter, Coach has Luke on the sidelines. Luke is mixing up all the plays. Coach repeats "It's a slot seven, son. SLOT SEVEN" and sends the kid back out on a wing and a prayer. Luke takes the snap, throws the ball, and....interception. Lots of booing on the sidelines. The announcers wonder how much longer Coach can keep Vince out of the game. The scoreboard reads 16-13, and the crowd starts chanting "WE WANT VINCE! WE WANT VINCE!" And all this is just like pressing the shiny red activation button in Coach's personality, the one that says "DO NOT GIVE IN. DO NOT GIVE IN."
(Heh. Coach's "shiny red button")
Luke trots over to the sidelines and begs Coach to put Vince in. Coach starts shouting at him "THAT HOW YOU WANT TO GO OUT OF THIS? THAT HOW YOU WANT TO GO OUT OF THIS?!" Luke's desire to not make a fool of himself is trumped by his desire to get Coach's hair to stand down and his eyes to quit flaring so. He stutters that he will stay in. Coach asks what play he wants to run and then asks if he can run the counter paths (?). Luke says he thinks he can and Coach, headed away from him, turns back "YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT YOU DO IT." I cannot wait to shout that at a kid someday. Vince watches Luke head back out to the field, clearly disappointed that he won't get his chance to come in and save the day.
Out on the field, Luke takes the snap and runs with it. He "moves the sticks" and then on the snap, runs the same play and gains some more ground. Meanwhile, a very MTV rap-rock-y song plays in the background and I keep expecting The Miz to show up and make muscle man moves. snap, Luke throws...for a touchdown! Lions win! The fickle crowd cheers. The Lions are going to the playoffs. Coach's hair is like "I told you so" as he smiles and man hugs Crowley. Ornette comes out of the bleachers on his way to who-knows-what to Coach, but Vince intercepts him, begging him "Pop, Pop, Pop, no." And that just breaks my heart. This kid so happy to get his father back is getting led astray by that father's advice, and now has to put himself between his father and Coach, two grown-ass men who should know how to keep a kid out of their man games. Ornette is RILED up, but Vince keeps him at bay, turning around just in time to see Coach Taylor congratulate Luke, giving the respect and feedback that Vince so craves to someone else. And Vince has been acting like a fool, but I really feel for him here, because, damn, is he alone right now.
Luke's parents wait for him outside the locker room. He comes out...with Becky. He introduces them to her, putting his arm around her. His mother is speechless, because aren't mothers always the vengeful bitches? His father is more ready to roll with it because, well, let's be honest, he probably got some girl into trouble in the backseat of a van himself back in the day. Luke declares that they should make their dinner reservation for four and heads off toward the car. His parents follow, his mother worrying her abstinence beads (heh: "abstinence beads"): "He kissed her. Did you see that? He kissed her!"