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In TV so it is as in life: it takes the girls twice as long as the boys to just get over it. For some reason the students at Dillon High are like seriously offended that Lyla continues to breathe air after doing it with Tim. This is what you get when you push abstinence-only education. Lyla's locker(s) are covered with scrawl reading "Slut" and "Whore" and some bitch named Britney goes and makes a "slam" website that's all about what a slut Lyla is. It's all almost enough to make Lyla quit the cheerleading team, but at the last minute she shows up to the Cheer America Classic competition (where she of course takes her rightful place as "flyer," not some fatso base). The whole football team is there watching, forced by Coach Taylor to go support the girls at their competition, but one attendee is particularly surprising: Jason Street. The Taylor household is in a tizzy over the Matt/Julie situation, and Coach is not dealing with it well, or at all, really. Then Smash has his eye on a preacher's daughter who can match him secret for secret, and I have a feeling her secret might also have a little bit to do with the failings of abstinence-only education. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We open on Lyla's face. She looks tired and under-made-up. The camera swings around and we see she is standing in front of her locker on which the words "Slut" and "Whore" are scrawled. She wipes the locker down with a wet paper towel and then runs out, dressed in workout clothes, onto the football field where the cheerleaders are working on some stunts. The coach counts out the beat for them while they throw a couple of basket tosses. I am a woman of many secrets, one of them being how very much I know about cheerleading. I'm the woman in black in the corner, smoking and looking continental except for my bouncy ponytail, held aloft by a primary-colored ribbon explosion. Beat that, Sidney Bristow. The coach is a tough blonde chick and she yells at Lyla for being late to practice. She exposits that "the Classic is five days away" and ignores the rather inaudible innuendos some bitchy girl named Britney is mumbling in Lyla's general direction. They return to practice, Lyla making a poor, ill-balanced showing on her liberty. Britney asides "Looks like Tim Riggins pounded the balance right outta her." Ouch. Lyla just keeps her head down and doesn't respond.
School hallway, Julie is also a rather aggressive blonde chick. Since the last episode, she seems to have woken up to all the possible drama, tears, and misery that could result from her dating her father's star quarterback, and she is going for it, folks. She complains to Matt that it seems her father doesn't want them seeing each other. She tells Matt that the only way to handle her father is to stand up to him. Matt, as you might expect, would much rather sit down and stutter than ever stand up. Julie presses on, though -- "otherwise he's just going to squash us, er, whatever it is this is" -- sticking her foot right in the mouth of the still undefined relationship. Matt takes this opportunity to do exactly the wrong thing and apologizes for kissing her after the game the other night, mumbling that he's not sure what she thought about it but he certainly didn't mean to do it. Julie, luckily enough, just leans in and shuts him up with a kiss. "That's what I think about it."
The Street family home. A hand-colored banner hangs across the front, welcoming Jason back. Jason's in the back of a new wheelchair-accessible van. He jokes with his father about not trusting the ramp his father constructed to meet up with the van's ramp, but he gets down and onto the front walk without incident. "Nice job on the ramp, Dad." We cut inside where the Streets have moved the office upstairs, and Street's mother has set up that old office as Jason's new bedroom. It's pretty depressing, due to the railed bed and Jason's obvious discomfort with being in this foreign space inside his own home, and also because I am so not used to seeing regular middle-class home interiors on television, and the jenky sliding closet doors and flimsy doors are making me cringe with their materiality. Jason assumes he'll use the guest bathroom and his mother quickly assures him that they are going to convert the utility closet as soon as they can afford it. Both his parents look really awkward and uncomfortable standing around in there, even more so when his dad suggests they leave him to get settled and then mentions the barbecue they'll eat in a bit. "Oh, yeah! I've got it in the fridge!" Mrs. Street says all too brightly. The fact that they have to let their own son "get settled" in this weird new room with this weird new life and these weird new legs all hits me and FINE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? I am crying before the Uninspiring Credits even start. They leave, Jason sees a framed picture of him and Lyla on his dresser, which he claws into a dresser drawer.
Uninspiring Credits. Another morning, another ride in the Taylor Mobile brought to you by Panther Football Radio. Julie brats from the backseat about pleeeaase can we listen to something other than football. Her mother says sure and then offers to sing. Julie informs her parents she will be out on Saturday night. They ask for more information than that, and she says Matt is taking her to a music festival in Belton Lake. Her father immediately says no, but she reminds him that they agreed she could go on one date per weekend. Her mom wants to know how they're getting out there. Julie says Landry will drive. Tami looks quizzically at her husband -- "Who is Landry?" -- who responds, "That Lance kid," and her mom turns toward Julie in the backseat and declares "You're not goin' to Belton Lake with Lance." Heh. I feel like that was nearly Bringing Up Baby-worthy dialogue.
Coach clarifies that Julie can't go out with Matt on Saturday because Matt will be with him at (and he rolls these words out slowly and unsurely) "the...cheerleading..divisional...championship...title." Tami laughs and says, "It's the Cheerleading Classic!" Julie brats again, "Let me think about that?! Pass. Cheerleading is more pointless than football." Her father looks into the rearview mirror and retorts, "That's a sexist, sexist remark you just made," and I LOVE it. He tells his daughter that the football team is going to support the girls who support them every week. Meanwhile, Tami looks on in sort of confused awe at her husband. Julie is pissed and declares, "I want my own car," and her parents lose it in snarky laughter in the front. "She wants her own car! Hehheheheh. Dream on kid!" The Taylor Mobile zooms beyond the camera off into the Land of Realistic-Yet-Heightened-in-Good-Looks-and-Sheer-Awesomeness Families.
Over breakfast, Jason asks his parents some questions about a lawyer they've asked him to talk to the night. He wonders how they can afford a lawyer; his mom says he doesn't get paid unless they win a settlement. While his mom talks, his father (who clearly thinks the bitch done gone crazy) sort of shoots passive-aggressive looks around the room, trying to dissociate himself from her litigious ways. Whatever, dude. If you've got other ideas for how to get shit paid for, why don't you speak up? Jason's mom is worried about him being okay at home alone and leans in to hug him tightly. His father reaches out and they fist bump. His father has the most disgusting gelled man-bangs I've ever seen. They leave him be, and the camera pulls back on Jason, alone in this boring suburban house, at the dining table, a bowl of sad, soggy cereal in front of him. He just seems so trapped. But I refuse to cry, again, before even the commercial break.
Cut over to school where Smash is rounding out his school day with a little testosterone-fueled sexual harassment. He calls after a girl, who's on a cell phone and neglecting to heed the man who is yelling at her like she's his runaway puppy. He calls her "new girl" until she pauses. She gives him a pointed look until he finally realizes that he knows her. "Waverly? Damn, girl, I don't know where you've been, but time's been good to you!" I'm not positive about my theory that she got sent to the XO Birthing Ranch because it seems upon rewatching that she's been gone for more than a year. Just then her ride pulls up and she greets "Daddy," who Smash then greets as "Pastor." Snap! Pastor's daughter!
Locker Room. The boys suit up for practice. Tim ribs Smash, "Outta your league, Williams." Remember when Tim and Smash supposedly hated each other? I don't. Smash, speaking of himself in the third person, tells the room that "Smash is one-size-fits-all." That sounds like a rather self-deprecating remark, if you ask me. Matt wonders about Waverly being the preacher's daughter, but Smash tells Matt that he doesn't know squat about sizing and fitting: "Last time you was south of the border you was with your momma on your very first birthday." Ew. Matt missed the express train, though, and so is way behind everyone else: "My mom lives in Oklahoma!" Why doesn't he just pretend like he knows what "south of the border" means in this context? Kind of like I used to smirk knowingly when everyone snickered about the math problem's answer being "69" while secretly having no clue what was so funny. The Galoot mouth-breathes his way into the scene, making a bet that Matt will "get up on Coach's daughter before Smash even touches that Waverly Priss Ass Grady." What in the hell is this kid thinking, talking about the coach's daughter within twenty feet of the coach's office? I liked him better when he was in a boy band. Smash is equally indiscreet, leaning in toward Matt just as the camera swings around behind Matt and shows us Coach lurking in the doorway where Matt can see him but Smash can't. Smash: "Think you can get the V-chip out of Julie before I can work my magic?" Matt urges Smash, under his breath to quit talking, but Smash's mouth is, as always, on the Super Express train, with too much momentum to avoid the crash. The boys all slowly realize that Coach is in the room. Coach tightly says "C'mere" and walks toward The Galoot, while Smash says they're "just" talking trash. Right, about HIS DAUGHTER'S VAGINA. Coach pulls The Galoot in by his shirt and whispers something in his ear. He sort of disgustedly lets go of the kid's shirt before turning toward Smash and Matt and, with his tight mouth, reaching his arm out and just shaking his pointer finger in their general direction. Aaand so we all are reminded that a parent's wrath is most frightful when it is silent.
"5, 6, 7, 8!" We cut over to the cheerleaders who are practicing their routine in the gym in full uniform. They finish the cheer portion of the routine -- the minute of cheering that is required so that these competitions don't turn into five minutes of full-on Who Can Defy Death More Perkily By Repeatedly Launching 80 Pound Girls Two Stories Into the Air. The coach asks the girls to get into their stunt groups. Unfortunately, Britney is in Lyla's stunt group. We saw in the first scene that Britney was getting tossed when Lyla was late to practice, but that when Lyla showed up she took her place. So I guess her vicious sexual policing of Lyla is due to a deep desire to get chucked into the air in a wholly unsafe manner? How typical. As they get in position, Britney spotting Lyla in the front, she asks Lyla what her favorite sexual position is, and one of the bases snarks that she's sore and hopes she can hold the cradle. Lyla, again, doesn't say anything, and on the count the girls go into the stunt. Lyla goes up, but the whole unit loses their grip on Lyla, and she tumbles to the ground on top of them. Lyla pops up and goes after Britney, and it's all slapping and pushing for a few seconds before the coach intervenes and demands to know what is going on. The girls are silent so the coach tells them they have to work it out. "We have been working all year for this Saturday. And you" -- focusing on Lyla -- "I don't know what you've been doing this week. Are you with this team?" Lyla replies "Yes, ma'am" twice, her face blank and vacant when she does.
Jason wheels out the front door, pulling it closed behind him with the rope that's been left there for that purpose. His neighbor and her young son are outside, and they come over to say hi. The kid is about eight or nine and has the most adorably insane buck teeth I've ever seen. Jason greets "Squirt" with a fist bump, and the kid awkwardly shuffles in front of his former-hero-neighbor. He asks "Can you walk?" and his mom jumps in to say that that wasn't nice. Which is too bad, because his instinct to ask about the facts is probably the one Jason most appreciates, rather than the sympathy and unasked for "prayers" adults are always offering. Adults are so lame. Jason tells her that his question is fine, and he explains that he can't walk. Then he adds, "yet" and I wonder when he got Lyla-lusional. Then he suggests that he could beat the little kid in a race and we cut to the two of them racing down the street. Squirt wins and then asks if they can race again. Jason says they shouldn't because he doesn't sweat like normal people anymore. Squirt's mom says it's time for his snack. They start to go in when Jason calls after him and reminds him not to play in the street, that what they just did was a one time thing. I wonder when the Pope is going to canonize Jason Street. Jason feeling good about himself, turns around and sees Lyla's car parked on the opposite curb. She's sitting inside watching him. He wheels over, and she steps out looking totally cute and fresh in pricey jeans, a white button-down, and cowboy boots. She says "Hi" gently and expectantly, but all Jason says is, "I got nothin' to say to you. Don't come back here," and then he turns and leaves. Ouch, man. Way to find a way to make us feel for your popular-girl character, show! Kick her, and then kick her some more. I love it.
In class, Janice from Friends (this poor woman, with that kind of star-making turn) asks her students to note Homer's double standard in being soft on Ulysses's affair with Circe in The Odyssey. Smash jokes that Ulysses was "a pimp." You expect me to believe that Smash even read the Cliff's Notes version of the book? He continues on, in jackass evolutionary biologist terms (which, by the way, does anyone else feel that the fact that so many evolutionary biologists in large part spend all their time trying to simply confirm hackneyed gender is sad?) anyhow, and blabs about "the seed and the egg" and how men need to spread their seed and women need to grow the seed, one at a time. Janice from Friends pretends like she doesn't know what Smash is saying for two very sound pedagogical reasons: 1) to prevent herself from calling one of her students a jackass and 2) to allow other students to weigh in, thus responding to and teaching the moment. You like my pedagogy? Thought so. Except for that rarely happens. And what happens NEVER happens. Waverly raises her hand and has an intelligent comment about how Smash is saying that monogamy is not natural, but challenging his terms and claiming that civilization is based on human beings repressing natural urges, that we might think of monogamy as a sign of higher evolution. Do you think it is odd that I feel like logging a warn note on all of their accounts for being totally off topic? It's The Odyssey people, not Stephen Jay Freaking Gould. During this whole scene, the camera pans in -- to underscore The Theme -- on Tim's face and Smash's face and Julie's face. And I'm afraid we'll never get to the bottom of why all these kids are in the same English class.
In the cafeteria, Lyla is in her Grandmotherly Cardigan of the Socially Outcast, sitting at the table eating alone, when two dudes come up and invite her to a party. Their invitation comes with a lot of mouth-breathing sexual innuendo, and Lyla just tries to ignore them until Tim Riggins walks up, shoos the nasty boys away and sits down with her. Meanwhile, we see Tami watching from the sidelines with concern in her eyes. Lyla asks Tim what he's doing: "Don't you know you're sitting with the school slut?" Tim broods until Lyla tells him, "It's different for girls. You can sleep around all you want; I make one mistake -- and it was a mistake..." She trails off as she looks around and notices other students staring at their table, mouths agape. Don't these people have Calculus tests or hair to brush? Anything more reasonably urgent than the fact that two teenagers had sex a couple of times? Lyla tells Tim that he's making it worse and he can't sit with her.
In the hallway, Tyra catches up with Tim and demands to know what he was doing with Lyla in the cafeteria. But her intentions are more complicated than merely feeling like Tim's dalliance left her with egg on her face. She seems reluctantly concerned about Lyla, telling Tim that he's making it worse for her. Tim quietly tells Tyra to stay out of it, and realization washes over her face: "You're in love with her." The camera cuts between close-ups of both of them. Tim seems to just be realizing it himself, and Tyra, seeing him realize it, reflects more and more hurt in her eyes.
Buddy Garrity's car dealership. A small, ropey cowboy walks in and Buddy greets him heartily, calling him Ben. When Ben doesn't respond to Buddy's jostling, Buddy asks what's wrong. Ben tells him that he wants him to know that "Britney put some stuff on the internet about Lyla. Other kids added to it, but I'm pretty sure Britney started it." We cut to a few moments later as Ben's voice-over continues, seeing Buddy pull up a "slam page" on his daughter. His friend tells him that "it's bad, I'm not gonna lie to you," and then we cut to Buddy breathing sharply and tearing up as he looks at the website, and then back to his friend who says that he felt like he owed it to him to tell him in person. Good folks.
Tami's voice fades in over Buddy's drooping head, as she says, "It was medieval, it was like The Scarlet Letter." A few centuries difference, but we get the gist. And also, you would not believe how many students think The Scarlet Letter is a Puritan book, rather than a book written in 1850 about Puritans. She's playing solitaire and having a glass of wine as her husband eats his dinner. What a life. Coach jokes, "at least they didn't burn her at the goalpost." The doorbell rings and they're surprised. Coach answers it, and it's little Matt. Coach doesn't say anything, just glares at the kid interrupting their familial privacy. The camera pans on Matt's feet as he steps across the threshold and then steps back, realizing that Coach has not moved aside to let him in the house. Thankfully, Julie breezes past her father, grabs Matt by the hand, and tells her dad that she and Matt are going to watch TV. And lord, how I have forgotten the awkwardness of being a teenager, trying to do something like watch television with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and having your parents right there hovering around you. Thanks, show, for bringing it all back in cringes!
Over at the Street household, a lawyer asks Jason questions which he answers guilelessly for a while. He answers the lawyer's question about tackling drills, but when the lawyer keeps pressing him about whether or not Jason, personally, was drilled on tackling, and Jason keeps replying that no, he didn't, as he was the quarterback, Jason comes to his own slow realization that this guy is there to get him to say something that will incriminate Coach Taylor. Jason looks to his father for guidance, who just looks down because -- didn't you get the memo? -- he's hen-pecked by his evil wife. Jason snaps and goes off at the lawyer and his parents, telling them all that none of this is Coach Taylor's fault, that he was the one that threw the interception, got pissed, and went for the tackle. The lawyer reminds Jason that he tackled incorrectly, with his head down, because he hadn't been taught otherwise, and Jason really snaps, yelling at them all that they can try to get him to say whatever, but he'll never say that any of this was Coach's fault. The lawyer says all he needs to do is tell the truth, which he has, and the camera pulls back on the group, sitting in contentious silence.
Back at the Taylors' house, Tami and Coach have bunkered down in their bedroom, still playing cards. Coach is pacing, wondering what Julie and Matt are doing. Tami jokes, "Probably having sex." Heh. Coach says he hates how Matt just shows up at his house, and then he moves to go out to check on them. Tami begs him not to, but he goes out anyway. Outside, we see Matt and Julie sitting in the dark, in the glow of the television with a blanket over their laps. This scene kills me, it is so awkwardly spot on. Matt dorkily asks Julie if she's "warm enough" while Julie just giggles like she's in a blanket-induced stupidity blackout. Coach walks out, flips on the lights, and brusquely asks, "What's goin' on out here?" When he sees that they're under a blanket, he freaks out, asking them who told them they could get a blanket. Julie tells him it's cold; he says well, yeah, because I like the AC low, and she responds, "hence the blanket." He asks his daughter pointedly when the program will be over (btw, they're watching The Office) and reminds her it's a school night. She reminds him it's only 9 PM, but Matt can hear loud and clear what Coach's questioning is really saying: "Get the eff out of my house and away from my daughter's blanket-covered lap." He hops up and says he should get going. He begins to tell Coach to tell his wife goodbye when Tami appears in the doorway and Matt tells her goodbye himself. Good home training, this kid. He pauses for an excruciating second in front of Julie before reaching out and shaking her hand goodbye. Once he's gone, Julie walks over to her dad, gets in his face and teens spitefully at him, "Thanks, dad," and then storm-sashays (because Julie is too put together to ever truly storm off) off to her room. Tami stares at her husband accusingly until he holds up the blanket like he's in the midst of his closing argument and says, "They had a blanket!" Tami pauses and then just says "You're an idiot." Television Perfection, once again.
Lyla is in her room looking at "The Official Lyla Garrity Slam Page," and I think I would not have made it to age thirty had the mean girls in my high school had access to the internet back then. Her dad knocks on her door and comes in just as she quickly shuts the cover of her laptop. She lies that she's just doing some research, and he looks pained that he can't help her at all.
The day, high-spirited pep rally. The band blats "Rock and Roll Part 2." I believe they are working from the Jock Jams '93 version. The camera is sure to show both Landry and Julie having a good time and dancing along with the music, as if to say, "See? Even the slightly alienated enjoy the brass section's Gary Glitter at this school!" I do wonder if they'll ever have an episode titled "It's Different for Goths." Coach walks up to the microphone, thanks the cheerleaders, and tells the cheering crowd that the football team isn't the only team looking for "a W this weekend." He graciously mentions the cheerleading competition that's coming up and then asks "Suzanne, Ms. Durr" to come up to the microphone. She looks surprised and walks out in front of the crowd, and something about that exchange just really recalls those weird moments in high school where you do feel like you are part of a mini-community. Coach tells her and the cheerleaders that the team will be supporting them this weekend and she thanks him. He then grabs the microphone, leans in, and intones, "Ladies..." and we swing over to see Smash, The Galoot, Matt, a few other boys, and then Tim Riggins walk in, dressed in god-awful cheerleading outfits, with rat's nest wigs and garish make-up and unlikely shoes (Tim is wearing cowboy boots with his skirt). The crowd goes proverbially wild, and the boys ham it up in front of them before getting in a line and starting a terrible cheer. In the stands, Tami walks over to her daughter and gives her a terribly cute hip bump to sort of say, "look at your boyfriend!" The boys get into a kick-line, Rockette style, and Julie says to her mom "Matt's got some good-lookin' legs!" They finish their cheer and start goofing off, Tim doing some chicken-legged cartwheels, Smash strutting toward the crowd, turning around and kicking up his skirt over his shorts-clad butt. The camera ranges around the crowd, everyone hysterical over these boys in drag, and then, because we've had far too many good times in this scene, up to Tami who asks her daughter, "Where's Lyla?" Julie responds "How should I know?" but one thing we do know is that we're about to find out.
Lyla is at her locker, looking at a note that says "For a good time, call Lyla...SLUT!!" Tami walks up and says that everyone missed her at the pep rally. She sees Lyla's stricken face and then looks at the note Lyla passes over to her. Tami remains Queen of the Awesome as she shakes her head and says, "Well that's just bush league. We don't listen to those jackasses." She throws her arm around the girl's shoulders and leads her to her office. Inside, Lyla tells Tami that she's been trying to just let people say what they were going to say, that she could tough it out. She blurts out that she's going to quit the cheerleading team. Tami doesn't judge, just says it would be a big move. Lyla tells her that her parents dressed her as a Panther cheerleader since she was five years old. That being a Panther cheerleader was supposed to be a dream come true. But that since Jason's accident, she's been pretending, that she is "done pretending that I care about any of this." Surprisingly intelligent words for a girl whose life plans had hinged simply on getting an M.R.S. degree.
In the locker room, Smash lingers after everyone else to take his 'roid pills surreptitiously. Out on the field, Smash leaves two of his teammates in the dust during a sprint. Coach asks what the number was and the assistant tells him "4.47, 4.46." They discuss Smash's increase in speed, the assistant saying he must be eating his Wheaties. Coach yells out to Smash that he's doing good work, and I find it somewhat unbelievable that Coach could be willfully blind about the sudden increase in speed and strength that Smash is showing.
Coach's office. Matt walks in and, in the most misguided attempt ever at "being a man," launches into a speech about how he "doesn't want this whole thing to be awkward." Coach asks him to clarify. Whenever Coach is dealing with the Matt/Julie issue, he gets this terrifyingly intense stare and stillness about him. Matt says, "this whole thing with Julie and I." Coach: "Julie and me." Matt: "Whawhawhawha?" Coach: "Julie and me. It's a common mistake." Hee. Matt tells Coach that he senses that he has a problem with them dating and Coach gives a little and says that the boy senses right. But when Matt proceeds to say that he won't stop seeing Julie no matter what anybody says, Coach stops him in his tracks and instructs him quite differently: "If I don't want you seeing my daughter, you won't see my daughter." Matt stumbles and mumbles and grumbles, trying to explain further, but Coach just talks over him, directing him right the hell out of his office.
At the Garritys', Lyla's mom fusses in the kitchen in the background while Lyla mopes on an armchair in the foreground. Her mom wonders if she's talked to Jason, and Lyla sobs, "No." Her mom, who looks about thirty-five, assures her daughter that she wants to make all of it go away for her but she can't. She passes on some wisdom her own mother gave her: "God created sin so that we might know his mercy." These people sure are taking their daughter's sexual activity in stride. My parents would probably have logged their own shrieking denouncements onto the slam page had they found out not only that I was doing my boyfriend, but also my boyfriend's best friend in high school.
At the Williams', Smash is fretting around, worrying his mother about whether she's on top of the gumbo. She snarks, "Boy, I been making this gumbo since Michael Jackson had a nose like yours!" Smash turns his attention to his sister, who he says is dressed inappropriately "for pastor." She's wearing slacks and a sweater. He doesn't have much more time to fret, though, because there's a knock at the door and Smash goes to let Pastor and Waverly in. Waverly sasses a bit at Smash as she walks in, and I think this girl seems somewhat wordly and urban for her role, but perhaps that might be a point later on. We cut to Smash saying grace at the head of the table and then the minute everyone says "amen" launching into an interrogation of Waverly. She demurs, suggesting her father would prefer to talk about football, but Smash presses on, "You were in Africa, right? Doing some kind of missionary work?" Her father steps in and speaks for her. Smash returns the focus to her, asking if she has any pictures, and adding, "Shoot, I never even been outta Texas." Waverly answers vaguely, saying it was all just "fun, hard work" et cetera. Her father steps in again and changes the subject to college. Pastor asks Brian about his S.A.T. class and he answers about as vaguely as Waverly had about Africa. Secret Buddies!
Jason is working on getting himself into bed when Tim walks in his bedroom door. Jason clips, "Yes?" and Tim hoarsely says, "I guess what I came here to tell you is that Lyla is completely in love with you." Jason is like, "Dude, you are not who I need to hear about Lyla from." Tim tells Jason that she's going through hell at school, that she quit the cheerleading team, and that she's losing it. Taylor Kitsch is sort of not really nailing any of these lines. Just stick to looking pretty, son. Tim apologizes, but Jason tells him "not right now," and he and his lank hair -- bad boy hygiene lends itself quite well to "depression" -- turn to leave.
Taylor household, morning. Coach tells his daughter they have to get going early as the brake fluid light is on in the truck, but she breezily just tells him that she has a ride and that she's going to the movies on Saturday with Matt and they'll be back in time for the cheerleading thing. Her parents are a couple steps behind, and she doesn't let them catch up. She walks out the door and into Landry's station wagon. Matt holds the door for her and lets her get in the front seat (aw!), calling out, "Morning Coach!" (aww!) and "Mrs. Coach!" (awwwwww!). Tami frets about who is driving the car, and as they pull away -- Landry driving very herky-jerkily -- she calls out "Watch the curb, whoever you are!" Left alone on their front stoop, Coach angrily declares that he's going to have a talk with Matt -- "I'm gonna have a Matt Chat" -- while his wife tells him what a bad idea that sounds like.
In Coach's office, he hands Matt a stack of DVDs to watch, in order to study the defense of some other team. He expects Matt to be able to discuss it all intelligently by Monday. Matt stutters that he had plans with Julie this weekend. Coach lies and dumbly says he wasn't aware of that, but reminds Matt that he's QB1 and so needs to get his priorities in order. I can't believe Matt can't figure out a way to both go on a date and watch five hours of football in one weekend. There are, last I checked, forty-eight hours in which to get all that done. Boy must be planning on one long-ass date with his sweetheart.
In the hallway, Waverly tells Smash she isn't "going all the way over there for a football game," so he's apparently asked her to travel to their away game. A couple of suggestive dance-team/drill-team/slut-team/whatever-team girls sway toward Smash and tell him they'll be watching him tonight. He tells Waverly not to mind them. She wants to know why he wants to hang out more since they already caught up during dinner. Smash tells her that "Smash don't take no for an answer." She laughs and says, "Yeah, but he loves talking about himself in the third person, which, by the way, is incredibly annoying." Burn. Music cues up, and someone calls out to Smash that the bus is waiting, so he desperately proposes miniature golf, no football talk, to Waverly. She tells him she'll think about it.
Cut immediately to television coverage of the Panther win against the loser Timberwolves. Jason watches the news in his room, Matt's grandma watches while Matt waves his stupid game tapes around hoping to use the TV that night, Tim and Billy watch while kicking back with some french fries, and then with Tim getting up and having to punch the TV to get reception, and that is not only nice continuity but also a nice reminder that it is on the fritz from getting smashed to the ground during the Riggins boy-on-boy fight action a few episodes back that sent that TV crashing to the ground. Jason turns from the TV and looks out the window of his room, notices Lyla standing out on the curb under a street light.
Smash and Waverly are playing miniature golf, so I guess she didn't have to think too long about the date. Smash tells her that he wants to go to UT and she expresses surprise that he could get in there. He says he can as long as he keeps getting touchdowns. She says she was wondering about how he'd get in academically, and he sort of brushes that questions off. He asks her if she's still thinking about med school and she's surprised he remembers. Smash charmingly avers, "Steel trap, baby" and then goes on to remember when they first moved there how she and Sheila and another girl would play doctor in the choir room. I didn't realize they were Catholic. (Rim shot, please). They joke about how he always wanted to play dirty, and then Waverly gets serious, saying she's not sure med school is the best thing for her now, though she knows it would make her father happy. Well what about your secret love child, Waverly? Will it make him happy, hmnh? Smash brings up Africa and she gets vague again and he starts pressing her, remarking how weird it is that she doesn't want to talk about Africa. But they get interrupted by some girls running up and congratulating him on the win. He charms around a bit about going to state and when he turns his attention back to Waverly she points out that he's got a bit of a nose bleed. She gets a tissue and they sit down while he tries to stop it. Waverly sort of non sequiters, "You know, I don't think you spent that money on an S.A.T. class." He quickly counters that he doesn't think she went to Africa. They sort of grin with their respective secrets.
Out front of Jason's house. Lyla stands on the street, Jason up on the sidewalk, they're both in the glare of the street lamp. Jason low-blows that he doesn't lie as well as Lyla does, so he can't say anything nice to her. She gets frustrated and says she made "one mistake," but neglects to add "multiple, incredibly pleasurable times," which I think is a good, rhetorical choice on her part. Jason yells at her that she made three mistakes: doing it, lying to him about it, and then the fact that she did it with his best friend. Lyla yells back at Jason, shouting through her clenched teeth that she was there for him every day and every night. Jason tells her that he didn't ask for any of that, and that he really didn't ask for her to break his heart. Lyla tells him that seeing him the hospital broke her heart, that she was lost and alone and that she messed up. I can't tell if her restraining herself from reminding him that he threw her out of his room the night she first made out with Tim is a sign of maturity or misguided pride on her part. She tells Jason that if he can't ever forgive her, she understands but "Believe me when I say that you are the only thing I have in the whole world" and after this episode we sort of have to take her at her word. Girlfriend doesn't have any girlfriends, a simpering mom, and an only momentarily-decent dad. She really is the lonely beautiful girl. Let's all take a moment and "awww" for the pretty girl with the sad inside.
Okay, I did it again. Got all cynical and hard in order to distract myself from all the CRYING and heartfelt sympathy I have for these poor (beautiful) kids. Lyla turns to go, but Jason catches her hand in his claw and brings it to his mouth. This kills me. He sort of rubs her hand into his face while sobbing, "I can't. I can't. I just can't." Commercials brought to you by the Committee Reminding Viewers to Just Go Put Yourselves Back Together and Quit Your Sniffling.
Cheer competition day. Big crowds mill about outside. The Panther bus pulls into the parking lot, Coach giving the girls a pep talk, the girls "whooing!" and putting on lip gloss. This is the kind of sport I like. The kind that involves lip gloss and bouncy Prell hair. Shots of other teams warming up, doing insane shit like standing back tucks. Okay, maybe this is not the kind of sport I like, as it is the kind where lots of times you face-plant into a mat with some serious G-force.
Back at the Taylor house, Coach rushes in with his golf clubs and Tami calls out that he's late. He jokes about selling the house to become a member at Buddy's country club. Does Buddy own a country club? Tami rushes to make him a quick sandwich and then informs him that Julie is getting a ride to the cheerleading thing with Matt. Coach is confused. Tami sarcastically tells him she's been at his house all morning going over game tapes with Matt. Tami snarks that "Your Matt Chat didn't go as well as expected." Coach has been foiled, big time. Tami puts the nail in the coffin of his Big Dad on Campus act when she tells him that Julie "told me to tell you to go right ISO when you're in the nickel package. Apparently they've got a corner who's short and slow." Coach's hair is sort of like "Oh, you can't win 'em all," and he has a slight smile as he asks if Julie really said that "like that?"
The Garrity household, where it has started raining, for some reason. Tim knocks on the door, Buddy sort of rushes the door asking him what he wants before Lyla busts through the parental barrier and steps outside to talk with him. Tim tells her she should go to the cheerleading competition. He says she's "an incredible cheerleader" which, ha! He thinks that she feels the same way when she cheers that he does when he plays, "that nothing else matters." He tells her not to give up and then sort of awkwardly leans in and hugs her, and then walks off to his truck. She looks sad, but convinced that he's right. I sort of preferred when Lyla had decided to quit, but whatever, at least we'll get to see her in a short skirt one more time.
At the competition, the arena is packed. Tami and Coach are confused in the stands; he reads the program and says it's still individual competition. Cheerleading Is A Sport really does create some weird shit like "individidual competition." Not that any performance-based individual sport isn't weird, but why the trappings of cheerleading if all you are doing is getting out there and showing how well you can snap your arms into formation repeatedly and then tumble around like a crazy lady? The whole concept gets very abstract if you take away the team aspect, is my (long-winded) point. The camera pans across the floor and we see a tiny girl doing a little routine by herself as a part of the individual competition. This looks very real; they must have shot some of this at an actual cheerleading competition.
In the warm-up area, a gay man (come on, we all know men involved in cheerleading are gay) reminds a set of girls that they have to follow NHSF rules, no jewelry whatsoever, and "if you have scorpion double-downs, scale double-downs, make sure you have spotters." I love the equal footing this event is getting with the football. Like they have their lingo ("go right ISO"), we have ours. Both of these activities are absurd and useless, but are also insanely meaningful in one certain, very focused context. Tim is in the crowd, as is Landry.
Bathroom, Smash runs to the sink to catch another nosebleed just as Coach zips up and walks to the sink. Smash says it's just a little nosebleed, and Coach says "Little? hell..." and watches Smash as the latter runs out of the room. Hopefully getting a clue so we can get this storyline to go somewhere finally.
Tami and Coach sit down the row from Julie and Matt, who wave. The Panther girls are cued up, about to get onto the matt, when Lyla comes running up, declaring "I'm here." Never in a million years would this happen, but whatever. Remember what I said about the short skirt? All the fudged reality in the world is worth it for that short skirt. She gives her name to Mr. Cheer who sort of nods in recognition and Lyla sasses, "Yeah, the whore with the website." Snap, girl. Nice to see her have at least a bit of backbone. Her Coach just sort of nods approvingly at Lyla's last-minute gumption and then tells Britney that "Lyla's flying." Britney looks slackjawed and annoyed, and Lyla better watch out or she's going to end up the subject for a Lifetime movie if she keeps stealing Britney's cheer fame. The girls shout "Go Panthers!" on three and the soundtrack turns up the slow, instrumental guitars as the girls take the mat.
Lyla does the opening tumbling pass, and we cut between the girls' routine and the excited crowd, including Tim and the Garritys (Lyla's little sister also in tow). Lyla makes it all look easy as at one moment, she has a long enough pause to look up meaningfully into the stands, a look that Tim follows back and up, and we see that Lyla is meaningfully smiling at Jason, who watches her intently. And then, she shoots up into some insane airborne arabesque. It is different for girls. You not only have to do your sport, you have to pretend like it isn't a sport at all, like you haven't practiced for years and like your muscles aren't burning and you aren't sweating and you have to do it with a sweet smile. We end on a shot of Lyla in slow motion, popping up and down, clapping and smiling.