The episode opens with Mr. “Biff” Fredricks teaching a sex ed class to Sam, Neal, Bill and assorted other boys their age. He’s droning on about the changes pubescent bodies go through while standing in front of a chart which depicts female reproductive organs. Neal and Bill make jokes about the diagram of the uterus and Sam shushes them, which just draws Biff’s attention to him. Biff asks Sam if something is funny. Sam says no, so Biff says, “If you get the clap because you weren’t paying attention in health class, is that going to be funny too?” Sam timidly says no. I say, cart before the horse much, Biff? Neal and Bill continue joking about how the uterus looks like the thing Sigourney Weaver killed in Alien. Again, Sam takes the rap for the noise that Neal and Bill are making. Biff gets fed up and he says, “Hello! McFly!” and knocks on Sam’s head. Actually, he makes Sam come to the front to teach the class. Biff sits down in Sam’s seat and refers to Sam as Dr. Love. Biff then puts Sam through his paces trying to identify the ovaries, the cervix, and the vagina, none of which he can identify correctly. It’s all very cruel except for when, in an imitation of Richard Dawson on Family Feud, Biff says, “Ennnnnnnnnn! Cervix says, no!” That’s kind of funny. ["I'm waiting for an opportunity to say 'cervix says...no!' in conversation. Sadly, I don't think that opportunity will come soon." -- Wing Chun] Biff ends the torture and allows Crispin Glover, uh, I mean Sam, to sit down. Sam passes by Alan, the mean guy from episodes who is now sporting a brush cut, on his way back to his seat. Alan smirks and says, “Dr. Luuuuve.” Sam sits down and says, “At least I didn’t get head lice.” In the background, Bill snickers. Alan glares and punches his notebook. Then, the excellent Joan Jett theme song and the opening credits come on.
To the strains of Bachman Turner Overdrive’s “Takin’ Care of Business,” Mr. “Call me Jeff” Rosso is glad-handing through the halls, complimenting some jocks in varsity jackets on the game, relaying praise from “his associates in the English department” to a passing girl, and he tells a velour-shirted guy named Brad to stop by his office so they can “rap.” While I believe that the Sugar Hill Gang and Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five may have recorded by then, and their records may have reached Michigan by then, that’s not the kind of rapping Mr. Rosso means. Anyway, when Mr. Rosso leaves, Brad rolls his eyes and gives a sarcastic “peace, brother” gesture to his friends. That Mr. Rosso, he loves to work at nothin’ all day.
Okay, so Mr. Kowchevski, the nasty math teacher, comes into his classroom barking out typical high school teacher stuff like, “Okay people, simmer down.” I cannot believe how much this guy is like so many math teachers I had, right down to the short-sleeved shirts and ties that get tucked into the belts. Who else dresses this way, except for Canadian Tire store managers? He reminds the class about the test they are having the day. Daniel asks him, “Didn’t we take a test last week?” Kowchevski says, “Your point?” Daniel says, “Well, I don’t think you taught us enough in the past week to give us another test.” The teacher babbles that learning math is like riding a bus. Okay, don’t ask me to explain it. Daniel protests that he doesn’t ride the bus. Kowchevski threatens that Daniel will be riding the bus with him again year if he fails another test. The sadistic-prick-math-teacher takes entirely too much pleasure from the thought of Daniel failing. Okay, I admit it, I have issues with math teachers which explains why I have a degree in English, I guess. ["Mine was named Mr. Sanderson. I think that he and Mr. Kowchevski were separated at birth." -- Wing Chun]
In the cafeteria line, a handful of varsity-jacketed jocks are yukking it up. One of them says, “He looks up at her and says, ‘how do you think I rang the doorbell?’” The jocks laugh. Sam, Neal, and Bill overhear them, but they don’t get the joke. I’m not going to belabour this, but I can’t believe that they didn’t get it. My esteemed partner, Mick, says that he probably would have gotten that joke in grade six, and for sure would have gotten it in grade nine, or rather, ninth grade, which is what grade they’re supposed to be in. It’s supposed to be 1980 after all, not 1950. It’s a stupid joke, but not too hard to figure out. Okay, that pun was not intentional. Much. Anyway, Neal says that jocks don’t know how to tell jokes and Bill says, “I don’t really like jokes. I don’t think they’re funny.” People, this guy deserves an Emmy nomination just for the posture he’s sporting in this scene. Sam ponders the joke a bit more, then heads for a table. On the way there, he runs into Cindy who is looking very fetching in her coordinating striped pink turtleneck, and salmon coloured pants. They chat about the upcoming MD Carnival. Do kids still put those on? I went to on once, and I suspect that the kids who put it on kept all the proceeds for themselves. Cindy tells Sam that she’ll be running the ice cream booth. A boy from the sex ed class comes up to Sam and says, “Dr. Love, I can’t find my girlfriend’s cervix, can you help me out?” Cindy wonders what that was all about and Sam says, “Oh, that’s an inside joke.” I am somewhat ashamed to say that line made me snort like a pig. Sam, not at all smoovely, tries to change the subject by volunteering to help Cindy out at the ice cream booth. Cindy tells him that he won’t need to help out, but that he should remember to stop by the booth, then she walks over to a jock to ask him if he is coming to carnival. Alan, who is sitting nearby says, “Dr. Love, will you autograph my genitals?” Unfortunately, Sam doesn’t respond, “Yeah, I will. With my foot.”
Out on the smoking patio, Kim is telling Lindsay that she took twenty dollars from her mother but her mother thought that Kim’s brother did it, and she (the mother) hit Kim’s brother over the head with a spatula. Kim thinks it was hilarious; Lindsay reluctantly says, “Sounds it.” Nick, who is sitting beside Kim, takes the opportunity to spit a drink through a straw on to Kim. Kim freaks out (understandably, in my opinion), and she asks him if he is “lit.” He mumbles an apology and tells her to mellow out but she still kicks over his drink. She says, “Now I’ve got to walk around all day with pop on shirt, thanks a lot.” Kim pronounces pop as “pap” and that amuses me greatly. I knew that Western New Yorkers did that, I didn’t realize that Michiganders did that too. After Kim stomps off, Nick says to Lindsay, “I have these weird urges sometimes, I should probably go apologize.” Hey Nick, save your weird urges for sex ed class. Nick runs off and Lindsay heads over to talk to Daniel. He tells Lindsay that he is bummed because Mr. Kowchevski told him that if he fails the test, he’ll have to take algebra again. Daniel asks Lindsay if she takes algebra and she says that she takes trig, but that she took algebra last year. He says that she “must study a lot.” Somewhat defensively, she says that math is not such a big deal, “it’s a few basic formulas, some short cuts, then you plug in some numbers –” Daniel quits listening when he hears the phrase “short cuts,” and asks her if she means that they are tricks. “You could call them that,” says Lindsay. She offers to help him study because “it could be kinda fun.” Lindsay, I don’t think either of you have the traditional type of studying in mind, and yet you’re both on different pages, so to speak.
Okay, so Mr. Kowchevski, the nasty math teacher, comes into his classroom barking out typical high school teacher stuff like, "Okay people, simmer down." I cannot believe how much this guy is like so many math teachers I had, right down to the short-sleeved shirts and ties that get tucked into the belts. Who else dresses this way, except for Canadian Tire store managers? He reminds the class about the test they are having the day. Daniel asks him, "Didn't we take a test last week?" Kowchevski says, "Your point?" Daniel says, "Well, I don't think you taught us enough in the past week to give us another test." The teacher babbles that learning math is like riding a bus. Okay, don't ask me to explain it. Daniel protests that he doesn't ride the bus. Kowchevski threatens that Daniel will be riding the bus with him again year if he fails another test. The sadistic-prick-math-teacher takes entirely too much pleasure from the thought of Daniel failing. Okay, I admit it, I have issues with math teachers which explains why I have a degree in English, I guess. ["Mine was named Mr. Sanderson. I think that he and Mr. Kowchevski were separated at birth." -- Wing Chun]
In the cafeteria line, a handful of varsity-jacketed jocks are yukking it up. One of them says, "He looks up at her and says, 'how do you think I rang the doorbell?'" The jocks laugh. Sam, Neal, and Bill overhear them, but they don't get the joke. I'm not going to belabour this, but I can't believe that they didn't get it. My esteemed partner, Mick, says that he probably would have gotten that joke in grade six, and for sure would have gotten it in grade nine, or rather, ninth grade, which is what grade they're supposed to be in. It's supposed to be 1980 after all, not 1950. It's a stupid joke, but not too hard to figure out. Okay, that pun was not intentional. Much. Anyway, Neal says that jocks don't know how to tell jokes and Bill says, "I don't really like jokes. I don't think they're funny." People, this guy deserves an Emmy nomination just for the posture he's sporting in this scene. Sam ponders the joke a bit more, then heads for a table. On the way there, he runs into Cindy who is looking very fetching in her coordinating striped pink turtleneck, and salmon coloured pants. They chat about the upcoming MD Carnival. Do kids still put those on? I went to on once, and I suspect that the kids who put it on kept all the proceeds for themselves. Cindy tells Sam that she'll be running the ice cream booth. A boy from the sex ed class comes up to Sam and says, "Dr. Love, I can't find my girlfriend's cervix, can you help me out?" Cindy wonders what that was all about and Sam says, "Oh, that's an inside joke." I am somewhat ashamed to say that line made me snort like a pig. Sam, not at all smoovely, tries to change the subject by volunteering to help Cindy out at the ice cream booth. Cindy tells him that he won't need to help out, but that he should remember to stop by the booth, then she walks over to a jock to ask him if he is coming to carnival. Alan, who is sitting nearby says, "Dr. Love, will you autograph my genitals?" Unfortunately, Sam doesn't respond, "Yeah, I will. With my foot."
Out on the smoking patio, Kim is telling Lindsay that she took twenty dollars from her mother but her mother thought that Kim's brother did it, and she (the mother) hit Kim's brother over the head with a spatula. Kim thinks it was hilarious; Lindsay reluctantly says, "Sounds it." Nick, who is sitting beside Kim, takes the opportunity to spit a drink through a straw on to Kim. Kim freaks out (understandably, in my opinion), and she asks him if he is "lit." He mumbles an apology and tells her to mellow out but she still kicks over his drink. She says, "Now I've got to walk around all day with pop on shirt, thanks a lot." Kim pronounces pop as "pap" and that amuses me greatly. I knew that Western New Yorkers did that, I didn't realize that Michiganders did that too. After Kim stomps off, Nick says to Lindsay, "I have these weird urges sometimes, I should probably go apologize." Hey Nick, save your weird urges for sex ed class. Nick runs off and Lindsay heads over to talk to Daniel. He tells Lindsay that he is bummed because Mr. Kowchevski told him that if he fails the test, he'll have to take algebra again. Daniel asks Lindsay if she takes algebra and she says that she takes trig, but that she took algebra last year. He says that she "must study a lot." Somewhat defensively, she says that math is not such a big deal, "it's a few basic formulas, some short cuts, then you plug in some numbers --" Daniel quits listening when he hears the phrase "short cuts," and asks her if she means that they are tricks. "You could call them that," says Lindsay. She offers to help him study because "it could be kinda fun." Lindsay, I don't think either of you have the traditional type of studying in mind, and yet you're both on different pages, so to speak.
Harris is seated on a high brick wall, directly below a statue of a guy holding a rifle or a musket, while vaguely Indian music plays in the background, which means that he's about to be the geeks' guru. Sam tells him the punch line of the joke and Harris chuckles softly. Neal says, "so it is funny." Sam asks Harris what it means. Harris responds, "You guys are so young." Indignantly, Neal points out that Harris is only a year older than they are. Bill chimes in with, "C'mon Harris, what does it mean?" Harris shows him the hand and shakes his head when Bill says , "He doesn't know what it means either." Harris assures them that he does know, but like a true guru, he tells them that they must find out the answer for themselves. A girl joins Harris on the wall and sits down. Neal says again that Harris doesn't know what the joke is about. Harris says, "If I didn't know, would I be with Judith here?" Judith gushes, "Oh Harris, you're so bad!" Then they start kissing. The geeks look at each other and at Harris and Judith, in disbelief. Harris delivers his final words of wisdom to the geeks, "Love is like homework, you gotta study if you wanna get an A." I refuse to make a joke out of that line out of respect for my gentler readers.
At the Weir family's dinner table, Sam is delivering the punch line, yet again, to Mom and Buzzkill Dad (tm Cate). Mom looks perplexed and admits that she doesn't get it. Dad looks stoic and says that he doesn't get it either; however, he clearly does but I'm guessing that he doesn't relish the thought of explaining it to Sam. Mom gets up from the table and giggles, "Y'know who's funny, that Red Buttons!" I bet she ends up ordering those Victor Mature videotapes from those lame television commercials, in about fifteen years. The doorbell rings and Lindsay says that it is likely Daniel. Dad charges to the door to get it because "it's dark out, and [Lindsay] is a girl." Lindsay doesn't get what he means either, and she rolls her eyes. However, maybe Dad is concerned about how Daniel managed to ring the doorbell.
Daniel is at the door wearing a longshoreman's hat and exhaling cigarette smoke out of the corner of his mouth. Dad reluctantly admits him into the house. Daniel stubs out his cigarette in his fingers and puts it into his shirt pocket.
In Lindsay's room, Lindsay asks for Daniel's textbook. Considering that Buzzkill won't allow Lindsay to answer the door, I don't get why he is allowing them to study in her room. Of course, Daniel has neglected to bring his textbook. And of course, Lindsay still has hers from last year. Daniel is less than enthused. Lindsay mentions doing the practice tests from the text and Daniel takes out his extinguished butt (shut up) and starts to light it. She tells him that her parents wouldn't want him to smoke in the house. He offers to go outside for a smoke and when he gets back, they'll "blaze through those tricks of [hers]."
Sam steps out on to the porch with a huge anatomy book in his hands. He sits down and starts to leaf through it; unaware that Daniel is also out there. Daniel asks him what he is doing and Sam quickly puts the book aside. Daniel comes over and looks at the book and asks him why he is looking at it. Daniel explains that Biff embarrassed him in front of the whole class just because he is "a little behind when it comes to that sort of stuff." Daniel mutters, "Yeah, I know how that goes." Sam is surprised and says, "You do?" Daniel tells him that the book is useless for that kind of information. He promises to find Sam at school the day and "set [him] up." Sam asks, "With what?" Daniel tells him "Don't worry, it's cool," then goes back in the house. Sam looks almost gleeful, then majorly apprehensive.
Back in Lindsay's room, she's all gung-ho about tutoring Daniel. He is clearly bored and frustrated that she is not teaching him tricks. He says that he can't learn anything in time for the test and he gets up to go, telling her that everything will be cool. Lindsay is doubtful and asks him a number of times if he'll be okay. He assures her that he will and he asks her if she wants to go out and do something. She tells him that she can't go out and wishes him luck. It seems like she is continuing to work on the problem she was showing him, after he leaves. Okay, solving quadratic equations for fun seems pretty geeky to me. I mean, it's not like reading the dictionary for fun. Not that I would know what that was like. Heh.
One of the many commercials shown at this point is an animated KFC ad with Randy "The Older and Less Photogenic Brother" Quaid, doing the Colonel's voice. He actually says "sammich." Dennis Quaid need never be ashamed of his completely over-the-top performance in Great Balls of Fire when a close family member is capable of this kind of atrocity.
Sam, Neal, and Bill are walking down the hall discussing whether the Hulk could take the Thing in a fight. Daniel pulls Sam aside and gives him the thing that will help him figure out what the joke means. Again, I'll refrain from making a really tacky joke here. Sam opens the brown paper bad and Daniel freaks out and tells him not to do that because he doesn't want it to get confiscated. Neal is shocked by the word,"confiscated" and Bill does a little Secret Service Man 360-degree spin manoeuvre, to make sure they aren't being followed, as they walk down the hall.
Daniel spies Nick drumming on a locker door and enlists him to help him out. Daniel tells him that he is going into a classroom and if he sees Mr Kowchevski coming, Nick is to bang on the door. Nick grins his stoner grin and Daniel gives him a little smack on the face and says, "look alive!" Nick responds, "I'm alive, man!" A girl named Sarah comes up and says, "Hey Nick, what's up?"
Daniel is shown rifling through the teacher's desk and then running through the classroom. He enters an office that seems to be connected to the class, and goes through the drawers of a desk.
In the hallway, Sarah informs Nick that she and Danielle "are going to sing 'Super Trooper' at the talent show," and they're "going to dress up like ABBA." Nick, who seems distracted, says, "ABBA, huh? They're from Switzerland, right?" Sarah starts to explain that they are from Sweden, when Nick suddenly sees Kowchevski coming, so he begins drumming and banging on the door. Sarah asks him what he is doing and he says that he's drumming and thinking about ABBA. Daniel makes it out of the class in time by exiting through a back door.
As they walk through the hall, Nick is pondering a possible wart on his hand and Daniel is complaining that the stolen test is written in another language. I can totally picture Nick in another setting, looking at his hands and wondering aloud if everyone else has ever noticed how big their hands are. Daniel impatiently tells him to be quiet.
Under the stairs, Sam, Neal, and Bill are examining the contents of the brown paper bag. Sam pulls out a reel of film and Neal holds it up to the light to discover that it shows "a naked woman." Bill wonders what she is doing and Neal says, "Who cares what she's doing, she's naked!" Neal exclaims a bit more and pronounces it a "dirty movie." Bill says, "Like a porno?" Sam says, "Ew, what am I supposed to do with a porno?" Since Neal has a projector, they decide to go to his house after school and watch the movie from beginning to end. Porn: I call it "maize."
In the library, Daniel approaches Lindsay to tell her that he stole the test, and to ask her for her help. She is indignant and refuses to help him. She does volunteer to speak to Kowchevski on Daniel's behalf, to get an extension.
In the classroom, Kowchevski says, "Forget it. That dirtbag's not going to get an extension." Lindsay is flabbergasted at his reaction and she asks, "Isn't it your job to teach him?" Ah Lindsay. Poor deluded Lindsay. He says, "I know Daniel is cute with his bedroom eyes and his stringy hair, but he's a loser and losers pull down winners." Hold the phone, why has this guy noticed Daniel's bedroom eyes? That is just weird and wrong. Lindsay looks totally disgusted and when he says, "don't let your hormones get in the way, " she stomps out.
Lindsay storms into the library to complete the test for Daniel. He is impressed by her cipherin' skills.
In Kowchevski's classroom the tests are passed out. Daniel glowers at him and takes out the test that Lindsay has completed for him.
Mr. Kowchevski is grading the papers and we see a close-up of Daniel's test which Kowchevski examines about two inches from his nose.
Lindsay is at her locker getting her coat when Kowchevski congratulates her because Daniel has gotten an A on the test. He tries to bluff her into admitting that she helped him cheat by saying that he received an anonymous note saying that. Lindsay is rattled but she holds her ground. Kowchevski points the finger of accusation in her face and tells her that she's in a lot of trouble. Millie comes around the corner wearing a wacky sweater vest that has hearts, flowers, birds, and a house on it, and she wonders if Lindsay was talking to Mr. Kowchevski because she is going to rejoin the mathletes. Lindsay yells no.
In Neal's garage, he is setting up the projector and Bill asks him if he has popcorn. Neal says, "Bill, this is a porno. You don't eat popcorn during a porno." Sam thinks that the whole thing is taking too long. Neal says to Sam, "Do you want to the projector to eat the film and have that Daniel guy kill you, 'cause we can do that too." The movie has a pretty peppy soundtrack and we get to see the geeks' reactions to the movie. Over time, Sam and Bill push their chairs farther and farther away from the screen. Sam looks decidedly uncomfortable watching the movie while Neal, seemingly enthralled, exclaims, "Wow. That guy's got the best job in the world!" I don't know if he is referring to an actor in the movie, or the pizza delivery guy he is likely portraying. Neal also wonders if there are any short porn stars. Sam and Bill barely look at the screen.
Daniel looks under the hood of his car in the school parking lot while Lindsay moans that she is "so dead." Daniel insists that they deny everything but Lindsay claims that she's not a good liar. Daniel promises that since he got her into it, he'll get her out of it. He is calm and she is visibly shaken.
Back at Neal's garage, Neal is game to watch the movie again. Sam isn't and he leaves. Bill says in a total deadpan voice, "Are we gonna go to hell for this? I don't wanna go to hell."
At the dinner table, Mom Weir notices that Sam is hardly eating his dinner. Sam leaves the table. Dad Weir is on the phone in the hall. Buzzkill comes to the table to sternly announce that he has just been speaking to Mr. Kowchevski, that Lindsay is facing suspension for cheating on a math test. Mom says, "My Aunt Sally! Lind-say!" Mom wonders why she would cheat since she is such a good student. Of course, Buzzkill has an explanation; it's because "she's hanging around with the wrong crowd. They're lying and cheating and the thing you now she's Patty Hearst and she's got a gun to our heads." He's such a dad. Lindsay denies any wrongdoing and tearfully wonders why they are so quick to believe that she has cheated. She stomps off to her room.
In the library, Neal is gleefully holding court and telling the joke. His audience laughs appreciatively.
Lindsay is purposefully walking up the stairs when she passes Millie. Millie questions her about the rumours of Lindsay's cheating on a math test. Lindsay admits that she did cheat but Millie doesn't believe her and she blathers about the mathletes code of honour or some such nonsense.
In the cafeteria the geeks sit in an awkward silence and find it difficult to eat their lunches. Neal begins a tentative conversation about the night's Dukes of Hazzard episode. Sam sees Cindy across the room and looks stricken when she approaches the table. Cindy wants him to help at the MD Carnival after all but Sam can't even look her in the eye to speak to her. He turns her down and shoos her away from the table. Neal gamely forges on with talk of Boss Hogg.
In his office, Mr. Rosso asks Lindsay if there is anything she wants to tell him before the meeting. Lindsay tells him that she didn't cheat. Mr. Rosso bores her with a story about his own highschool days. But the story ends with Mr. Rosso getting "the living crap" beaten out of him, so it isn't a total loss. ["He was really emphatic about it too, which amused me." -- Wing Chun]
At the smoking patio, Lindsay asks Kim where Daniel is. Kim doesn't know but she asks Lindsay if she is nervous about the disciplinary meeting. Kim reassures her that "Daniel gets out of stuff like this all the time." Lindsay says that it will be okay because she'll help Daniel actually learn the material so he'll be able to pass on his own. Kim laughs and tells her that it isn't likely that Lindsay and Daniel will become "study buddies," and that he'll just get the answers from someone else, the time. Daniel walks up behind Kim and hugs her. Daniel asks Lindsay if she's "ready to stick it to The Man, [as] partners in crime?" Lindsay looks skeptical and a little sick.
In an unused shop classroom, Daniel warns Lindsay that they may try an "old cop trick" when they are separated and tell her that he has already confessed. He tells her that he will never confess. She tells him that is going to confess because she's tired of all the lies. Daniel tries to scare her by telling her that if she gets suspended, it will go in her transcripts. She responds by saying, "You're manipulating me." For a smart kid it took you long enough to figure that one out, Lindsay. Daniel and agrees to tell the truth but tells her that she'll only get "a slap on the wrist" and he'll get suspended. He launches into an emotional tale of how he doesn't enjoy doing poorly in school and that in sixth grade all the kids were told that in junior high they'd either be in "track one, track two, or track three. Track one is the smart kids, track two is the normal kids, and track three is the dumb kids. What d'ya think I got?" Daniel turns into a character from Barfly and verges on crying about the shame of finding out that you are sentenced to be a loser when you are eleven years old. My friends, this guy is not going to age gracefully. His facial features are already starting to look a little blurry. Lindsay buys the sob story.
In Biff's classroom, reading aloud from a paper, he says, "If a pregnant woman has sex, can the baby get poked?" The class laughs and Biff tells them it's not true. The bell rings and they all start to file out. Biff asks Sam to stay after the class. He tells Sam that he was disturbed by the question he submitted. Sam is flustered and wants to know how Biff knew which question was his. Biff points out that Sam is the only person who uses Star Trek notepaper. ["Aw!" -- Wing Chun] Biff wants to know where Sam found about "the activity" his question concerns. Sam admits that he saw it in a movie. Biff tells him that movies sensationalize these things and that they don't happen in reality. Sam doesn't look convinced or enlightened, so Biff says that he's going to explain things to him in plain language, but Sam is to not tell anyone about it, or Biff could get into trouble. Biff gets up and closes the door, but we can see them through the office window, and he launches into an explanation, while "The Love Theme" by the Salsoul Orchestra swells in the background. I'm not sure if that is the name of this well known disco instrumental song, so let me know if it isn't. Anyway, Biff explains things with a lot of hand gestures, and I really wish that I could read lips to figure out if what they are actually saying. They're probably really talking about baseball or something. In the end, Sam is grinning, so I guess his mind is now at ease. As he is leaving, he asks Biff to explain the joke to him.
Outside Mr. Rosso's office, Daniel tells Lindsay that if she wants to tell the truth, "it's cool." Lindsay says that she wants to stick to their story. Mom and Dad Weir waltz in to attend the meeting because they feel sorry about doubting Lindsay the night before. Dad has closed the store and come down "to give this Kowchevski joker a piece of [his] mind!" Daniel smirks in the background.
In the office, Mr, Rosso is advocating giving everyone a fair hearing. Kowchevski admits that there was no anonymous note and Mr. Rosso is appalled at his dishonesty. Somehow, I'm not. Kowchevski says, "Let me tell you something, I knew kids like Desario in Vietnam. Those were the kind of kids that got you killed." Oh my. I guess Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder could be one explanation for why Kowchevski is such a dickhead. However, I choose to believe that it just comes naturally.
The teachers, the kids, and Mom and Dad Weir are all in the office. Dad is ranting that his daughter is not a liar. Mr. Rosso divulges that there was no note and he says that Lindsay told him that she didn't cheat and that's good enough for him. Kowchevski, on the other hand, is not satisfied. He makes Daniel redo the first question from the test and he promises that if Daniel gets it right, he'll get down on his hands and knees and beg forgiveness and he will quit teaching. I hope with all my heart that somehow the first question has stuck with Daniel, and that Kowchevski will be forced to quit.
Sam sees Cindy painting a poster for the carnival and he apologizes for his behaviour. Cindy doesn't realize that he was acting weird earlier. Sam volunteers to help her again, and she asks him to help her with the poster. Bill spots them together and he gapes at them in disbelief. Bill says "ew" a couple of times and looks very ill.
Sadly, all Daniel writes on the paper is "Zeppelin Rocks." The room erupts and Daniel tells them not to blame Lindsay. He then tearfully relaunches his track three story. At the end, the adults all appear chastened, until Lindsay starts to laugh hysterically with the realization that she has been played, as Wing Chun noted when we were watching the show. Daniel glares at Lindsay for laughing and Kowchevski thinks she's "as high as a kite." Dad Weir yells that his daughter is not high. Mr. Rosso thinks it is a nervous reaction. The adults all start arguing while Lindsay keeps laughing. Dad Weir proclaims that it isn't a good school for his daughter, because "She's a track one girl!" Fade to black.
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