The show begins in the Schweibers' monochromatic living room with the curved, sectional sofa. Bill is asleep on the floor and Sam and Neal are putting Monopoly money and game pieces on his face and chest. They're watching Saturday Night Live, which features Joe Piscopo doing his patently unfunny "I'm from Joisey" schtick. Neal laments Bill Murray's departure from SNL. Sorry Neal, it only gets worse but the bright side is that Caddyshack came out in 1980, and you've got Rushmore to look forward to in eighteen years. Sam yawns and wonders why SNL has to be on so late. Neal tells him it is because you can't say, "Jane, you ignorant slut" on television at 8 o'clock. Dr. Schweiber brings in some bowls of ice cream for them. Bill is still asleep until Dr. Schweiber yells, "Live from New York, it's Saturday night!" and wakes him up. Then, Dr. S. busts out his Sammy Davis Jr impression as he hands Sam his ice cream. Sam thinks that Neal's dad is cool and Neal agrees.
At McKinley High, a marching band with surprisingly few members is practicing the Chicago song "25 Or 6 To 4" on the playing field. Ken and the other freaks are watching from the bleachers and heckling the band. Nick thinks they are torturing the song and Ken wonders why Nick even knows the song. Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care about time? Oh, never mind. It's sad, but it was hard to be alive during the 1970s and not be familiar with the horrid song stylings of Chicago, so Ken should cut Nick some slack. Mick, my esteemed partner, still has nightmares about hearing "Color My World" being warbled out by someone playing a recorder. ["Heh. 'Color My World' is my parents' 'song,' if you know what I mean." -- Wing Chun] Ken picks on the tuba player girl in particular and yells that the tuba is big and sexy and it makes him hot. Then he yells, "Play some Billy Joel!" That's funny because the soundtrack of the episode with the geeks mooning after Maureen was filled with Billy Joel songs. Kim rags on a "pizza-faced" trombone player. Ken likens playing the tuba to "blowing into a toilet." Nice imagery, Ken, though I'm sure you've had many up close and personal encounters with toilets in your day. At this point, I would make a joke about tubamabas and saxomaphones, but even if the freaks could hear me, they wouldn't get it for at least another fifteen years. That's a shame. Lindsay nails Ken: "At least she knows how to play an instrument." Ken launches into a diatribe about Lindsay breaking up the band. Nick apologizes to Lindsay for Ken's attack on her.
Neal is staying for dinner at the Weirs' because Dr. Schweiber is performing emergency surgery. They're all seated at the dining room table while Neal regales them with rather graphic details of other emergency dental operations that his father has performed. The Weirs are all grossed out by the story. Neal asks Lindsay if she has seen Ordinary People yet because he has, and he cried. Lindsay hasn't seen it, so Neal gallantly tells her that he'd be willing to see it again. Lindsay says that she hopes he and Sam have a good time. Sam says that he won't go to it because it isn't funny. You're right, it wasn't funny at the time, but when A&E decides to give The Four Seasons and its true-crime specials a rest, watching Ordinary People is pretty hilarious all these years later. Mom Weir offers Neal some more meatballs and he declines them because his father says, "Too much red meat isn't good for you." Sam changes the subject by asking his parents for an Atari for his birthday. Dad says, "An a-what-i?" Mom wonders if an Atari is "one of those expensive videogames." Sam assures her that it isn't that expensive. Dad declares them "a waste of time and money," and states, "the welfare rolls are full of videogame players." Lindsay scoffs but Dad quite accurately guesses it will be true eventually. ["I'm not so sure. I live with an avid gamer who's done pretty well parlaying his love of gaming into cash money." -- Wing Chun] Lindsay gets up to leave but Dad yells that she hasn't finished her dinner. Lindsay stuffs at least two huge meatballs into her mouth and then bolts for the door. Sam and Neal look like they're both going to attempt Lindsay's feat but Dad barks, "Don't even try it!" before they get their forks up to their mouths.
Lindsay was rushing off to meet the freaks at a diner. She apologizes for keeping them waiting and Ken mouths off about "cancelling their dinner reservations." Nick wonders if Ken can ever not be sarcastic. Nick and Daniel get up to get some food leaving Ken, Kim, and Lindsay at the table. Lindsay and Kim glare at Ken until he clues into the fact that they want to talk on their own. Kim asks Lindsay what is going on with her and Nick. Lindsay says she wants to be friends with him but Kim tells her that isn't possible because Nick's still in love with her. Kim advises her to be a bitch to Nick so she doesn't give him false hopes of their getting back together.
At the counter, Nick tells Daniel that he's still in love with Lindsay. Daniel tells him to quit being nice to Lindsay then he outlines his strategy to stop fighting with Kim which is basically not to argue with her and "let her run out of gas." He refers to it as his "tortoise and the hare" plan; Kim is the hare and Daniel is the tortoise. Daniel counsels Nick to give Lindsay the cold shoulder. Nick isn't sure that this is a good idea. Taking relationship advice from Daniel is like taking personal grooming advice from...well, Daniel.