Hong Kong Phooey

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Well, I love how subtle the episode is. We start with Nhadra Udaya (Shoreh Aghdashloo) watching a A Christmas Carol and studying her own flashforward-type mural. Oh my gosh, if people don't repent of their current actions, they'll have a lousy future!

Mark and Demetri head to Hong Kong, which pisses Weddick off to no end. Then he notices a press conference on television, and his mood goes even further south because…

Lloyd and Simon hold a press conference and Lloyd basically takes credit for creating the flashforward with a fancypants physics experiment, whilst Simon glowers in the background. When Lloyd is asked point-blank, "Are you taking responsibility for all the death and damage caused by the blackout?" Simon practically tackles him at the podium to keep him from saying, "Um, yes." But Lloyd does manage to assure people that blackouts won't happen again, a vow which I imagine will be endlessly amusing to Ricky Jay and his cadre of tattooed thugs.

After Wedeck sees the press conference, he sends Janis out to fetch Simon and Lloyd. She does not immediately get to Lloyd -- he's more concerned for Dylan's safety and just wants them to be left alone. Since Lloyd is now Public Enemy Number One, his quest to get Dylan into a secure facility is not taking off -- not until Olivia takes pity, steps in, and gets Dylan transferred to a private hospital. The two of them have a conversation where Lloyd briefly talks about the theory that there are many worlds, courtesy of the decisions we do or don't make, and in another world, he and Olivia knew each other from Harvard. It's all very warm and fuzzy until the end of the episode when Lloyd's kidnapped in front of Dylan and Olivia.

Simon comes in on his own. He and Wedeck commiserate on their pain-in-the-ass emotional colleagues, and Simon asks for full access to the Mosaic investigation. Wedeck wants him to jump through a few hoops first, so Simon comes in the day, checks out the Somalia satellite pictures and chatters on about the mystery plinth: He designed the plasma afterburner back in 1992 as a way to more efficiently broadcast radio signals, and he can't wait to see it being built. Janis and Wedeck are all, "Funny, because this one was up and running in 1991." For the first time in his life, Simon can only reply, "Guh?" And he's so pissed about his plasma afterburner being lifted by someone else -- Wedeck's all "D. Gibbons, mayhap?" – that he agrees to help the FBI. I am unreasonably excited about the snark factor when Simon and Wedeck team up.

Mark and Demetri, meanwhile, do little to advance Asian/American relations, as Mark threatens potential leads with things like "I will send you to Gitmo!" and "I will sic my big brother Voldemort on you!" They eventually find Nhadra Udaya in a dim sum restaurant. She is hesitant to tell them anything because "the act of telling you may bring about the incident we are all trying to avoid," and says she only warned Demetri because his death is but the first in a series of unfortunate events. But Mark and Demetri give her the Bambi eyes and Nhadra says that Mark will be the one to kill Demetri; she even names the gun model that Mark's carrying and rattles off its serial number. Spooky! "It will be your gun, Agent Benford, and you will pull the trigger. And then again. And then again," Nhadra intones.

This so pisses Mark off that he takes Nhadra hostage, and poor Demetri covers him as they attempt to escape the restaurant, no doubt thinking all the while, "You're going to kill me? With the stupid crap you're pulling, you're practically inviting me to kill you." But the CIA's man in Taiwan arrives and manages to get them out of the situation. But at a high cost -- Wedeck gets hold of the security tape from the dim sum restaurant, courtesy of the U.S. ambassador to China, and he's so pissed off, he orders Mark to surrender his gun and his badge.

We also find out that Nhadra is pals with the man we all know as D. Gibbons; when she warns him that the FBI's on his tail and "I can't protect you," he's all, "Well, I guess I'll find someone who can."

Also, Zoey finds out what her flashforward really means. Clearly, she's never watched 30 Rock, as anyone who has knows that in Korea, white is the color of mourning, and on April 29, 2010, Zoey will not be walking down the beach to wed her fiancé, but to bury him with his family.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

As always, the episode begins with a reminder that "On October 6, the planet blacked out for two minutes and seventeen seconds. The whole world saw the future." And "On October 1, October 8, October 15, October 22, October 29, November 5, November 12 and November 19, the Flashforward episode began with a reminder that the planet blacked out, because someone somewhere thinks the people watching this show are so dumb, they can not possibly be expected to remember the premise of a show, nor that the show's title reiterates the premise."

"I'm here to warn you tonight that there is yet a chance and a hope of you escaping from my fate ..." Yep -- it's Jacob Marley talking to Ebenezer Scrooge in what qualifies as the Victorian-era Flashforward, A Christmas Carol. Nhadra Udaya (AKA Shoreh Aghdashloo) is sitting in her office and watching the movie, and the camera pans over from her sitting at her desk to the mural she's constructing on her office wall. It rivals Mark's in scale and accuracy, and as she sits, listening to the warnings to expect three visitors ("without them, you cannot hope to shun the path I tread"), the camera pans over the Hong Kong skyline and transitions to Mark and Demetri's landing in the airport the day.

The guys are hanging out in the airport, the better for Demetri to express doubts about this overseas jaunt, and Mark assures him that "Linguistics pegged your caller as Iranian, specifically from Tehran, London-educated. How many Western, Persian-speaking women with that accent could there be in Hong Kong?" Well, when you put it like that, it sounds easy-peasy. Mark's mobile has been ringing throughout the conversation, and a suit-wearing man behind him says, "You really should answer your cell. It's your boss calling." The man introduces himself as "Marshall Vogel, FBI Legats Office, Hong Kong. Did you really think you were just going to stroll into town without Immigration flagging your arrival?" Mark declines to answer that and starts to make introductions, but Marshall jumps in there too, and rattles off many nitpicky details about Demetri. You just know he spent time memorizing all that and practicing his delivery in front of a mirror; he's that kind of strategy-loving federal toady. Marshall concludes, "I know all about that mystery woman and I know why you're looking for her. But this is a sovereign territory of communist China, a country that ours believes was responsible for the blackout." Demetri's like, "So you're helping, right?" and Marshall basically offers to help them back onto a plane bound for LAX.

Mark bails out of the conversation by answering his phone, and greets Wedeck with "Hey, cupcake." Hee! Wedeck's wrath manages to surmount the challenges of distance and spotty cell phone reception as he inquires at the top of his lungs: "What part of 'stay the hell out of Hong Kong' did you two idiots not understand?" Mark invokes Gough's name as proof the future can be changed, and says he's in Hong Kong changin' it up for his good pal Demetri. Oh, and, "by the way, I lied to Demetri. I told him you changed your mind about us coming here. Merry Christmas." And thus has Mark given Demetri the gift of plausible deniability. With gifts this good, Mark must be way in demand in the office Secret Santa pool.

Wedeck throws something across the office and breaks one of the five televisions hanging on his wall. Your tax dollars at work, Flashforwardians! I hope some of you saw tax protests in your future. Anyway, Wedeck is riveted to the screens -- not by the damage, but by the press conference that has taken over every station.

We're in Palo Alto, where James Frain -- wearing the air of grim purpose that served him so well on The Tudors -- introduces himself to the press as Gordon Myhill, director of the National Linear Accelerator Project -- and tells everyone, "Today, we have some important information concerning the events of October 6 that we feel needs to be shared with the global community." Backstage, Simon growls, "You know they're going to crucify us." Lloyd dryly asks, "What's a little martyrdom between friends?" Simon then snipes at Lloyd that the only reason he's doing this is because his wife died in the blackout, because it hasn't occurred to the nasty little genius that maybe Lloyd's guilt has a slightly wider scope. Lloyd gapes, aghast, then pulls it together because he and Simon are on.

The press conference is beamed around the world and Lloyd tells everyone: "Our speciality is proton-driven plasma wakefield acceleration. What we're trying to do at this facility is to reproduce the kind of energy levels that existed just after the Big Bang, but on a much more controllable scale. We were conducting just such an experiment here on October 6, at precisely eleven-hundred hours Pacific Daylight Time. We are here today because we believe that the global blackout was precipitated by our experiment." Pandemonium erupts among the press conference attendees. Do not ask me what "proton-driven plasma wakefield acceleration" is. My wakefield knowledge is confined to the city limits of Sweet Valley, California. And apparently everyone in the room is perfectly okay with their wakefield knowledge, because most of the questions take the form of "NOW you tell us?" and "So you're the one to blame for all those deaths?" Lloyd stammers that the experiment appears to be the cause, and Simon jumps in with the ass-covering statement, "We contend that there was no way to predict any of this happening whatsoever. This was utterly unforeseeable. Scientists conduct experiments all the time. We cannot stop conducting experiments because we are not 100% sure of the results." And it's a noble argument, but one that seems a tad tone-deaf to the crowds watching around the world. Among those crowds: Mark and Demetri in China. Mark looks around all, I look forward to seeing how the CIA handles things when the Chinese can legitimately point the finger at us as the cause of the blackout event. Demetri asks if Lloyd's admission means Mosaic is finished. Mark doesn't think so.

Back in Palo Alto, Lloyd cuts back through the scientific tuchis-covering to grab the microphone and say, "Please believe me when I say that our hearts go out to anyone who was hurt or who lost someone they cared for. MY own wife was killed and I would give anything to have her back. We understand people are scared there will be another blackout, but there won't be, because we are the cause --" cut here to Simon rolling his eyes in the universal symbol for "I am exasperated by these idiots with whom I must deal" -- "and we assure you that this could not happen again." A lady in the audience decides to add extra assurance by shooting at Lloyd, and the press conference goes from mere pandemonium to total screaming mayhem. Simon takes advantage of the fracas to pull Lloyd into a hall and berate him for going off-script, Lloyd accuses Simon of being a heartless monster, Simon slings the worst insult one scientist can give another -- ignoring the evidence in favor of subjective emotion -- and oh woe, can this marriage be saved? Simon concludes, "I do not think we were to blame for this. You do. And if you will not see my line of reasoning, it's all-out war between us." He stalks off, leaving Lloyd and I to wonder if that's really a threat or a gift.

Back in Los Angeles, Wedeck dispatches Janis to find Lloyd and Simon. Janis finds that being shot can come in handy -- while she was laid up, she had heard Olivia talking about Dylan Simcoe, and by the time you reach the end of this sentence, Janis has made the connection from Dylan to Lloyd and is off to the hospital to wait for Lloyd to come in and check on his son.

And now, the subplot that can be summed up in one paragraph ... Zoey calls Demetri's parents and makes an impassioned plea for them to come to the wedding, saying, "You're the parents of the man that I love. I want you at our wedding. In the future that I saw, you were there. And if you say you'll go, it makes it real. I'm supposed to

marry Demetri. And I hope to God that this is the message I'm supposed to send so that you'll go. I love your son more than anything in this world, and ma'am, he loves me. Can you just please help us be together?" Then she heads off to her former coworker Joyce's funeral. Joyce happens to have been Korean, and Zoey's glance at a funerary blossom suddenly yanks her back into her flashforward, and she realizes she had been carrying not a bridal bouquet, but a memorial arrangement. And that the white-clad crowd of Koreans on the beach aren't dressed like that because it's a theme wedding, but because in Korean culture, white is the color of mourning. This whole misunderstanding could have been prevented if Zoey watched 30 Rock, as one of the funniest call-back jokes of the series hinges on Tracy Jordan's knowledge of Korean mourning customs. So Zoey then visits Demetri's parents to explain that she now understands why they haven't wanted to talk to her or Demetri -- they've been too upset by their flashforwards, which show them burying their son. Mrs. Noh has a wonderful moment with Zoey when she tearfully admits, "Maybe before all this, we would have had difficulties with you marrying our son, but what I saw that day, that moment, the love you have for Demetri ... I want you to know, we see things differently now, and we'd be proud for you to be a part of our family. We wish that was the future! We wish that more than anything!" Awww! It'll be interesting to see how Mrs. Noh and Zoey get along should Demetri manage to elude his March 15, 2010 murder.

Now let's get back to the real plots. Mark and Demetri are in a part of downtown Hong Kong that happens to sell Persian newspapers and Iranian cigarettes. Demetri muses, "That voice, it's a pretty good bet she smokes." And would you look at where they're standing? Right in front of a Persian restaurant named "The Tide and the Mist." The boys agree to come back tomorrow.

We cut to Our Lady of the Mood Lighting Memorial Hospital. Bryce is trying to post something on Mosaic for Keiko to find, and deleting every effort. It doesn't help that Janis is hanging around wearing her I-mean-business expression. She offers to go away in exchange for Lloyd's phone number, and Bryce dryly asks, "And what do I do after I get fired?" Anything you want, my indifferent little doctor. Spend the remainder of your days painting pictures of Keiko and sighing Byronically! Janis then moves the topic around to her own flashforward and being pregnant, but notes that she's not yet well enough to have a baby so, "Maybe I'll just listen to the universe and throw the towel in on the whole thing." Bryce prods how far along Janis was. She was four months, so in theory, she's supposed to get knocked up in January. Bryce urges her not to give up. Projecting much, Bryce?

And then we see that getting a glimpse of the future did nothing to curve the unfounded speculation and incendiary blather among cable news's talking heads. One is calling Simon and Lloyd the worst mass-murderers in history -- indirectly, with the "Don't you think so, guest?" so they'll have the chickenshit "My guest is the one who said that, not me!" excuse to hide behind later, of course. It really is too bad that nobody at ABC has thought to exercise a little corporate synergy and show what sports talk shows would be like if everyone knows what's going down in six months. Doesn't that take the tension out of baseball trades and suchlike? ANYWAY, the real point to this scene is that Simon just sort of strolls on into Wedeck's office all, "I heard you needed a genius-cubed to solve your little blackout mystery? Here I am. The line to regard me with primitive awe starts on the left."

And now, the battle to see who can be the coolest and snarkiest commences. Simon says he had nothing to do with the blackout. Wedeck: "Well, you probably shouldn't have stood up in front of a crowd of reporters and said you did." (Point to Wedeck.) Simon says it wasn't his choice, but the excitable Lloyd's. Wedeck asks Simon if he has any idea who's responsible, and Simon coolly says, "No, but I'm certain if you allowed me access to your Mosaic investigation, I could divine the answer for you." Wedeck asks, "So you want to be to be deputized?" Simon begins to rattle off his resume-stuffing bona fides, but Wedeck says, "Son, you're confusing me for someone who gives a damn. I'm up for giving you a listen, not a new career." (Point to Wedeck. Score, 30-love.) Simon asks, "How long do you think Washington will continue to fund an investigation into the blackout when someone has already stepped forward and accepted the blame. My guess is unless you come up with some compelling evidence relatively soon, you'll never find out what or who caused the greatest global catastrophe in human history, or if you can prevent it from happening again." (I think we can give Simon that point. 30-15) Wedeck agrees to give Simon a trial run the morning, and if it bears fruit, then maybe he'll consider a more official role. Simon says, "Because I do like you, Assistant Director Wedeck, I will accept your disingenuous offer." Okay, they're tied. And I hope they team up to fight crime and make grown men cry with their cutting remarks!

And now, poor Lloyd comes skulking through the hospital ward toward Dylan's room. Everyone who sees him gives him a wide berth and a dirty glare. Lloyd is, of course, acutely conscious of this and only gets more self-conscious and crouched as he goes through the lobby. Janis swoops down on him and introduces herself, and implores Lloyd to come in and talk. She tells him that the FBI can protect him and Dylan. Lloyd politely tells her to get bent.

On the other side of the Pacific, Demetri and Mark have taken advantage of the post-lunch lull at The Tide and the Mist to ask the proprietor if he might be able to hook them up with the lovely lady who sounds like Eartha Kitt after a long night and a case of Camels. The guy grins as he lies, "I'm sorry. I would remember that voice if I knew who it belonged to. Now! How about some dessert?" Demetri would like some dessert, but Mark tells him "A moment on the lips, forever on the hips. Now go outside and make sure nobody enters, okay?" When the proprietor comes back with some faloodeh, Mark asks him to sit down. So the proprietor does and Mark says, "The woman we're looking for: she has information we need. It's a matter of life and death." The proprietor says, "I'm so sorry I can't help you with that." Mark tells him, "You have it backwards: If you can't help, you will be sorry." Mark pins him with what is meant to be an interrogative stare but really just comes across as Bambi in need of some castor oil. Then Mark says, "You know that woman." Mark slides his badge across the table and says, "Not so long ago, a hotel concierge named Anoush Harandi, an Iranian man -- much like yourself -- was taken from his home in Bangkok in the middle of the night, because my government believed he had some small piece of information. His friends, his family -- no one knew what happened to him. He spent two years in secret detention. My government's gotten very good at that sort of thing."

And that is how Mark finds out who Nhadra Udaya is and where she eats dim sum every night. I am sort of troubled by the implication that Abu Ghraib and rendition and suchlike are the interrogative gift that keeps on giving, but I suppose the point to that scene is to highlight how very far off the reservation Mark has strayed. And, bless him, he's kept Demetri clean. "If someone's hands are going to get dirty, let them be mine," Mark says.

Back in Wedeck's office: The boss man is showing Simon the satellite images that the Cheeto Bandit (or whatever the heck he was called) pulled from the NSA servers per Gough and Mark's monkeyshines, and pointing out that his top analysts can't make heads nor tails of these. "It's a good thing I'm smarter than they are," Simon says. Behind him, Janis rolls her eyes and explains that Simon's looking at highly cl

assified images, so "we've obscured anything that would indicate where they were taken." Simon shows everyone how smart he is with: "Somalia. The dipped slopes in the overlying limestone, the orientation of the flora, the shallow water holes --" "Just tell us what you see," Wedeck interrupts. Simon leans back in his chair and asks, "Are you taking the piss?" He asks Janis to zoom in and gets up to point at the mysterious tower with the four round sub-buildings flanking it. Simon says, "I designed that. That is a specialized pulsed laser for a plasma afterburner. It increases the rate of acceleration for traditional radio frequency machines. The concept should win me a Nobel in a couple of years. I must say, the modeling software you guys use is incredibly impressive. The structure almost looks real." Janis dryly points out that it is a real photograph of a real structure, leading to Simon's first genuine "Wha-huh?" moment ever. He recovers with "That's not possible. It doesn't exist yet. We're still running numerical simulations." Wedeck asks when Simon came up with the idea for the laser, and Simon says it was in 1992. Janis breaks the news that the satellite pictures are dated 1991. Simon turns around and has his second ever "Wha-huh?" moment. Wedeck asks who else could have come up with the idea. Simon says dazedly, "No-one." Wedeck leans in and snaps, "Your unparalleled genius act is wearing thin." I love it! He's like a Frank Pembleton for the Aughties. Simon says, "It's not that. Look, you ask any great scientific mind what they want to achieve, and the only honest answer is 'immortality.' You discover something that changes the world, you live forever." Janis demonstrates she's been paying attention: "So whoever designed this not only had to be brilliant, but didn't even care about being famous. Didn't want it." Simon looks at her all, That idea doesn't even make SENSE! So they're looking for a supergenius paranoid recluse. Wedeck flips open a folder and shows a composite sketch of D. Gibbons -- apparently all the genius in the world can't arrest the migration of one's hairline -- whom they believe to be awake during the blackout and in contact with someone else; we see a flashback to him monkeying around in the doll factory too. That D. Gibbons is a time-management genius for sure. Janis VO's, "He's highly proficient in advanced computing equipment and particle physics simulation. Apparently, he's been hacking into a number of high-tech facilities. He also seems to have a penchant for chess." Simon muses, "A techie, chess-playing, social misfit physicist. Well, that should narrow it down." Hee! Simon is growing on me. Simon says, "If [D. Gibbons] had anything to do with the blackout, I'll do everything I can to help you find him. At the very least, I'd like to give his testicles a squeeze for sharking my plasma afterburner design." Right on, Simon! Spite is an excellent motivator.

Across town, Lloyd is pleading with some uptight hospital administrator type to help him find a place where Dylan can be safe. The administrator is so uncomfortable with the man cable news has dubbed "history's greatest mass murderer" that he can't even look him in the eye -- but his powers of bureaucratese and obstruction remain undiminished, and thus the middle manager visits his own Babbitt-y revenge upon the monster Lloyd. Or he would have, if that meddling Olivia hadn't taken pity on Dylan and Lloyd and arranged a transfer to the private hospital Travers. Lloyd thanks Olivia, tagging on a self-deprecating "I don't suppose anybody will be helping me much in the foreseeable future." Olivia smiles up at him, "You need help? I'll help." Lloyd is touched.

Demetri and Mark are about to get some dim sum and some quality time with Nhadra. She does not look terribly thrilled to see them when they stroll into the restaurant. As Demetri walks to her table, she tells him, "You shouldn't have come here." "You called me, remember?" Demetri says. Nhadra says, "That was a mistake, clearly. You being here now, you've set things in motion that will end very badly for you." Mark sits down with "Can we skip over all the histrionic action movie cliches? 'Cause I'm way too jet-lagged to deal with any of it right now." Demetri asks who Nhadra is and why she called him, and Nhadra says, "I was trying to warn you. Your death is the first in a long line of dominoes that I'd rather not see fall down." She also claims she can't stop this series of unfortunate events and "if I tell you more, the act of telling you may end up bringing about the unfortunate incident we are all trying to avoid." Demetri can't be having with dorm-room discussions of predetermination and predictive outcomes; he wants information and he wants it now. So Nhadra lays it down for him: Demetri will be shot three times, at close range, in the chest. The close range of the wounds implies that Demetri knows his killer -- and the fact that the bullets which will kill him come from Mark's FBI gun would seem to suggest that Mark is the one who does the deed. Demetri points out that initially, Nhadra had said she didn't who killed him; Nhadra shrugs that she lied. She figured that was one way to prevent the murder. I admit, her logic has lost me here. She then wigs out both men by reciting his gun's serial number (A): "Presumably, in the few months, a reason [to kill Demetri] will present itself." She then tells them she's done talking, and her four well-armed bodyguards look like they're ready to crack some FBI skulls together in lieu of ringing the dismissal bell. Mark gets up, and Nhadra whispers, "Don't ..." but it's too late. Mark now has himself a hostage. Oh, Wedeck is going to have kittens over this. We're going to come back from the hiatus period and discover everyone in Los Angeles shoving adorable fuzzy baby cats off the desk from Wedeck's massive kitten-having reaction. (And Simon will learn the feline language and train them all to do his bidding as part of his massive "hunt down D. Gibbons" project.)

Demetri is like, "What are we doing, Mark?" and the answer is ... creating a no-win international incident, as they get to the street, tons of security has boxed them in, and there is no way out. Not without someone getting more perforated than a doily, anyway. Marshall Vogel rolls up all,

"Hey, Mark." Mark growls, "This woman is a material witness to a murder." Nhadra coolly reminds him that there's been no murder yet, and he's the one who's going to determine whether there will be. Marshall negotiates a mutual gun-lowering on everyone's behalf, and that's how Mark and Demetri end up on the pavement and handcuffed. As Nhadra walks off, Mark tells her, "This isn't over." "It never is," she says dismissively as she walks off.

Back at Our Lady of the Mood Lighting Memorial, the heavy hand of irony has set up a tableau: Lloyd being stared at with pure loathing while someone sings about having a wonderful Christmastime. Olivia comes along right then with the transfer papers, and Lloyd thanks her sincerely, adding, "especially after all the inconvenience I've caused you and your family." Olivia insists that Lloyd didn't do anything wrong, and as they walk over to check Dylan out of the hospital, Olivia asks, "You really think there won't be another blackout?" "Not unless we recreate the exact conditions of our experiment, no," Lloyd replies. Olivia then compliments him: "That was an incredibly brave thing you did, coming forward to take responsibility like that." Lloyd wryly replies that there's a fine line between brave and stupid. "Oh, I didn't say it wasn't stupid," Olivia adds. Okay -- this scene is intriguing, because this is the first time we've seen Olivia treat Lloyd with anything other than awkward, barely-there civility, and the fact that it's happening when Lloyd's extremely vulnerable suggests something about what Olivia's wired for in a romantic relationship. And this scene also keeps tugging at my brain because this entire episode seems to be putting Lloyd in the pure and shining light of moral certitude while Olivia's husband is off threatening innocent people with rendition and taking hostages. It's like the writers are teeing up for a plot that will have viewers rooting for Olivia to leave her jerk husband for noble Lloyd. I feel so manipulated.

ANYWAY. Lloyd says he took responsibility for what he hopes are the right reasons (I see what you did there, writers!) and now that his entire life story is public knowledge, Olivia makes small talk, asking Lloyd about his time in Harvard back in the '90s. "It was the best time of my life. I was doing my doctorate, I had this beautiful apartment above a cigar shop," he says, smiling. Olivia knows the shop: "I was supposed to go to Harvard in '98, and I was going to live in the building door." She didn't because Mark got his job with the FBI and he was headed to Los Angeles, so out west she came. Lloyd stammers, "My-my wife moved into that building. That's how I met her." Olivia's amused by that: "So if I had gone, we probably would have met." There's an awkward moment, and Lloyd rushes to fill it with "So have you heard of the Many Worlds interpretation? ... It was coined by a physicist called Hugh Everett in the '50s. Basically, the idea is that anything that could have happened in our past actually did happen in some other universe. So all those alternate decisions and choices you made are still playing themselves out in those other worlds. If you buy the theory, I suppose in some other universe, you did go to Harvard, and we did meet." Another pause, slightly less awkward, and it gives us viewers at home time to absorb the idea that these flashforwards may be ways for people to cross worlds, as it were, and hop back on paths they were already on in some alternate universe. Again, I feel like I'm being manipulated into rooting for Lloyd and Olivia to get together, all "Hey, it's cool! Over on Earth-616, Olivia was initially married to Mark, but now she can follow the life path of Olivia over on Earth-98 and hook up with Lloyd."

Back in the gracious Hong Kong airport, Marshall Vogel is congratulating himself on avoiding an international incident. Demetri asks, "Why are you keeping us from her?" and Marshall says, "You don't need to know what she knows. So let me get you on your flight, okay?" The penny drops for Mark and he realizes Nhadra's an asset in some intelligence game: "You're not Legats. If you were, [the] Bureau never would have let us get off the plane. And after what went down in that alley, this whole thing stinks like a Company job." Marshall says, "We prefer the term 'Central Intelligence Agency.' I hate to break it to you, but Mosaic is bigger than you, bigger than the FBI, bigger than any one country's intelligence organization. You're just a tiny speck, Mark -- a fleck of dandruff on the nape of this thing's neck. But if it would make you feel better to take a swing at me, then go right ahead. It's not like you've got anything to lose." Mark doesn't exactly look like a man on the verge of physical violence. He looks like a man on the verge of saying, "I am going to tell my brother Voldemort what you said to me, and then you'll be sorry." Mark's phone rings; Marshall tells him, "That call, I would take."

Ah, but Mark's going to regret not letting this one go to voicemail, as it's Wedeck letting him know that the American ambassador in China has foregone the usual routine of sending family newsletters and fruitcakes this Christmas and given the FBI the gift of the surveillance footage in the dim sum restaurant. Mark's little hostage-taking episode was not on Wedeck's wish list. "I'm calling to congratulate you. You've succeeded in changing the future," he says acidly. When Mark hangs up, we find out how: Mark is no longer authorized to carry his gun or his badge. As you can imagine, this will make being an FBI agent challenging, if not downright improbable. Mark gets in Marshall's face all "Looks like we finally have something in common: Neither of us are FBI." And neither of you are as awesome as Wedeck. There -- that's two things you boys can bond over.

Nhadra's looking over her collage -- I believe there's a "Wanted" poster of someone in the corner, but I can't discern if it's D. Gibbons or not -- and says, "They've been following you ever since you destroyed that doll factory. You are fortunate they did not see you tonight. Coming here was a mistake. I can't protect you." The camera swings back to a set of chairs and a coffee table and none other than D. Gibbons says, "Then I'll just have to find someone who can." Aieee! It's Nhadra's third visitor as prophesied by the movie playing in the beginning of the episode! Can't ... breathe ... too ... many ... references ... adding ... subtext ...

"So this is Christmas/and what have you done/another year over/and a new one just begun ..." As the musical cue kicks in none too subtly, Mark and Demetri while away an awkward pre-flight waiting period by watching A Christmas Carol. "Why show me this if I am past all hope?" Scrooge asks on screen. "Assure me that I may yet change these shadows that you've shown me, by altered life. I will live in the past, the present and the future, and not shut out the lessons that they teach." Gosh, guys, do you feel like the universe is trying to tell you something? Or does a troupe of roving thespians need to act it out for you while boarding group A is getting checked into the flight?

"So this is Christmas" continues, and Demetri apologizes: "It's my murder, my problem. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here with your badge in my pocket." Mark promises that he's not going to shoot Demetri, nor let the investigation kill Demetri. Merry Christmas, Dem! That vow is just your size.

Back at the hospital, Nicole's waylaid the brooding Bryce and she hands over a present. Bryce opens it -- the gift is wrapped in such a way where the lid lifts right off, and I am here to tell you that it's a remarkably easy way to present a gift, but terribly boring for the recipient, as there's no satisfying r-r-r-r-r-rip of the paper. ANYWAY. Nicole's gotten Bryce a Japanese manekimeko -- a lucky cat statue. She explains, "Depending upon which paw is raised, it promises different things for your future." The raised right paw indicates luck in love. Bryce hugs Nicole in thanks, and she assures him, "Don't worry -- you'll find her." When they separa

te, Bryce gives her a look like, Wait ... there's a live and attractive young woman in front of me ... but Nicole bolts off all, "Laters!"

Fortunately, that gives Janis entree to talk to Bryce. She wants to start trying for a baby, and she needs a rec for sperm donation. "The whole penis thing is kind of a problem for me because I don't like them ... I'm super-gay," she explains. Bryce recs a fertility clinic and sperm bank, and that's that.

Outside the hospital, Lloyd's wheeling Dylan out to the ambulance, where two men named John and Reed introduce themselves as the evening's transporters, and they just can't wait to load Dylan up and get going. Olivia's accompanied the Simcoe men outside so she can make sure everything goes okay. "I'm not sure if you've had your training, but Dylan's autistic," Olivia explains to John and Reed. One of them mutters, "Oh, we've had training ..." Lloyd and Olivia say their goodbyes, and Olivia asks Lloyd if he believes in the "many worlds" theory he was explaining to her. "Many physicists do," he deflects, and Olivia is nearly flirting with him as she chides, "You didn't answer the question." Lloyd replies, "Out of respect, I'm not going to." He smooths back a wisp of Olivia's hair and says, "Thank you for everything, and goodbye." And then ... the brusque loading of Dylan onto a stretcher -- which totally triggers a Dylan meltdown -- would seem to suggest that whatever training John and Reed have had, it is not in patient transportation. And once the guns are out and the guys are shooting down the hospital security guard, it's apparent that John and Reed's training is in "kidnapping," as they roll Dylan away, seize Lloyd (who is heroically shielding Olivia), throw him in the back on the ambulance, and roll off. And that's our episode! Well done to the writers for setting up the way Dylan will come to live with Olivia and Charlie, and won't it be exciting to see what happens in three months? See you in 2010!

Lisa Schmeiser only digs A Christmas Carol if it's the Muppet version -- Statler and Waldorf as Jacob and Robert Marley can't be beat. She'll be spending this show's hiatus blogging about TV for Bitch magazine and twittering here.

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Provenance
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http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com:80/show/flash-forward/a5619184-1/
Captured
2013-12-02
Page Type
recap (100%)
Wayback Machine
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