Previously on Felicity: Ben told Lauren that she needed to involve him in decisions about their baby. Felicity admitted to Ben that she copied someone else's dissertation because she was "so freaked out about everything that's going on" that she couldn't concentrate. Ben assured her that they would get through this, but Felicity wasn't so sure.
Javier and Felicity are working at Dean & Deluca. Javier warns Felicity that her "archest enemy" just walked through the door, and Felicity protests that she doesn't have an arch enemy. Lauren walks up to the counter and...whoa! What in the hell is going on with her hair? She's got it up in two Afro Puffs, a look that she is way too old to pull off, and it looks like ass anyway. Plus, she's looking all haggard and shit. Lauren asks if Ben is there, and Felicity informs her that Ben doesn't work today. Lauren starts to leave, and Felicity asks if everything is okay. Lauren says that she's leaving early and needed to talk to him. Felicity offers to pass on a message. Doesn't Ben have a phone? With an answering machine? Why is Felicity his messenger all of a sudden? Oh, that's right. Because they need to set up this Felicity/Lauren interaction so that they can "establish" Lauren's "depression" that will cause her to get drunk later on. Hope I didn't ruin anything for you there. Lauren says that her plans have changed and she's leaving tomorrow. Felicity, shocked, asks, "For Arizona?" No, for the moon. Every week, the characters have been asking dumb questions designed to fill the viewers in on backstory, and it's bugging me. Lauren explains that Ben offered to help her pack up her car, and she's wondering if he's still planning on doing that. Throughout, Felicity is very polite and Lauren is dismissive and bitchy. Felicity promises to tell him. Lauren adds, "Yeah, because at this point, I'm doing everything by myself." By choice. She chose to have this baby, and she chose to do it herself, and Ben offered to help her, and it's not his fault that she decided to leave early. He only has, you know, school and stuff. Felicity tells Lauren that it must be hard, and she's sorry. Man, Felicity is way nicer than me. I would have told Lauren to stuff a sock in it. Okay, I'm way too passive aggressive for that, but I definitely wouldn't have sympathized with her plight. Lauren tells Felicity not to pretend like she cares. Felicity claims that she does care. Lauren rolls her eyes and turns away, asking Felicity to tell Ben to call her. Felicity stops Lauren and asks if there is a problem. Lauren says that Felicity and Ben are "incredibly selfish people." Wait, I think I have to type that again, because I don't believe it. Lauren just called Felicity, who has been very sweet to her in a very difficult situation, "incredibly selfish." Felicity asks if Lauren wants her and Ben to drop everything and move to Arizona. Lauren just reminds Felicity to have Ben call her and leaves.
Felicity turns around, open-mouthed. She asks Javier if he heard that. Javier, who was clearly eavesdropping the whole time, says that he "got a little bit." Felicity can't believe that Lauren thinks that they are selfish, after everything that she has done. Felicity concludes, "I don't care if she is pregnant. I don't like her. I really don't." Why does she have to like her just because she's pregnant? Only nice people get pregnant? People automatically turn nice when they get pregnant? Javier says that he doesn't like Lauren either, and he hopes she gets a stretch mark from head to toe. Felicity just stands there, stunned at what Lauren just said.
Felicity gets dressed in her bedroom while talking to Meghan. I'm seriously confused about where Meghan lives. I know she used to live with Felicity and Elena, but I assumed that when she and Sean got married, she moved to the loft, and Javier moved into her room. And yet, Meghan is always over at Felicity's apartment. Which lends credence to my theory (to be discussed shortly) that Tangi Miller is either pregnant, or has a drug problem, or the producers hate her, because Meghan is taking the place that Elena used to hold on the show. Anyway. Felicity complains some more about Lauren, and Meghan is totally with her. Felicity walks over to her desk, picks up the dissertation book that Meghan stole for her last week, and puts it in her bag. Meghan asks what she's doing, and Felicity says that she's going to confess to Dr. Carnes. Meghan thinks that is insane. Felicity says that Carnes wants to see her source, and that book is her source. Meghan advises Felicity just to copy the references from the dissertation and put it behind her. Felicity asks what will happen when her paper is published and Ryan Baer (the author of the dissertation she copied) sees his paper with her name on it. Meghan says that Felicity isn't being published in Newsweek and if Ryan Baer still reads the UNY journal, "he's a loser who deserves to be plagiarized." I don't know why Felicity ever thought that Meghan could give good advice. I enjoy Meghan and all, but come on. Felicity starts to walk out. Meghan says that Felicity feels "guilty and smarmy and weak" for copying the paper. Why would she feel smarmy? Okay, I just looked up the word, in case I was missing something, and the first definition is "revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, or false earnestness." This is the definition I was thinking of, which didn't make sense. But the second definition is "of low sleazy taste or quality," so I guess that's what Meghan meant. I realize I am taking this way too seriously. Meghan asks how Felicity will feel when she confesses and is without a college diploma. Felicity angrily says that she doesn't know what else to do, and she's hoping that if she confesses, they will take pity on her and show some leniency. Meghan understands, and asks Felicity to call her when it's over, then wishes her luck. Felicity walks out.
Sean makes breakfast as Noel walks out of his room, straightening his tie. Sean says that someone had a big night last night, and Noel asks what Sean is talking about. Sean says that he was up until 2:30 watching the Game Show Network and Noel wasn't home yet. Oh, Sean. The Game Show Network is so 2001. Noel says that he and Zoe went to the all-night bowling alley. Are they sixteen? Sean says that the beginnings of relationships are the best, and he misses that. Noel agrees rather unenthusiastically. Sean TMIs that when he and Meghan first started dating, they couldn't keep their hands off each other, and calls Noel a "lucky man." Sean whispers (because apparently Meghan is there, even though in the last scene, she was over at Felicity's apartment) that Noel should enjoy it while it lasts, because it's all downhill from there. Yeah, you know us women. We only put out until we hook our man, and then we close up shop for good, because we hate sex. Noel mumbles sarcastically, "That's great," and Sean asks what he means. Sean realizes that Noel and Zoe haven't done the deed yet. Noel says that it's fine. Sean thinks that "no sex is a problem" and indicates trouble in a relationship. Noel asks Sean if he's "Dr. Drew all of a sudden," and insists that their relationship is fine. Noel says that he and Zoe like each other, but they're busy with work, so it's a logistics thing. Okay, that is a pretty lame excuse. Sean offers to cover for Noel tonight at the Waldron party so that he and Zoe can have the night off. Noel says that he can't, because it's an important client. Sean says that Noel and Zoe have been dating for five weeks. Noel says that the first two weeks don't count, so it's really only three. They've only been dating three weeks and Sean is this obsessed with them not having sex? Maybe I'm old-fashioned but three weeks doesn't seem that long to me. Sean tells Noel that he can "delude [himself] with math" all he wants, but they are in the most exciting time of their relationship, and he's missing out. Noel looks slightly concerned. Or constipated. Not sure which.
Richard shows up at Elena's door and asks for "a favor with a capital F." Hey! Elena! Where have you been? Richard walks in and says that the school is having a "Save Our World" fundraiser, and he wants Elena to go as his date. They switch to a long shot of them, and Elena looks -- different. Not heavier as much as puffier. Like the only places she has put on weight are her stomach and her butt. Thus my pregnancy theory. Which might explain why Elena is getting so little screen time, and why Meghan is filling the role of Felicity's best friend lately. Richard explains that he couldn't care less about the cause, but the girl he has a crush on is going. Richard's theory is that when this girl sees him with Elena, she'll get "all hot, bothered, and jealous." Richard calls it "bait and switch." Elena says that she's the bait, and turns him down. Richard tells her that it's a compliment, but Elena still refuses. Richard begs Elena, saying that he's going to graduate soon, and out in the real world, he doesn't stand a chance at getting a girl, so he needs to find one while he has access to this huge pool of eligible women. Elena agrees, saying that she's only doing it because he's pathetic and she feels sorry for him. Richard is happy, and says that he'll pick her up at seven, and she should wear something sexy. Elena gives him a look, and Richard amends that to, "Whatever you think is best. Just, look hot." Elena rolls her eyes.
Felicity walks into Dr. Carnes's office and asks if they can talk, or if it's a bad time. Carnes goes into a rant about her ex-husband, like Felicity cares, but the end result is that Carnes is rushing off to see her lawyer and doesn't really have time to talk. Carnes brings up Felicity's paper. Felicity tries to interrupt in order to begin her confession, but Carnes just steamrolls right over her and tells her not to worry, because everything will be fine. Carnes says that the whole thing is the fault of this guy on the committee, Jim Lipshitz, and it's his way of getting back at her. Carnes adds that it's all about academic politics. Felicity keeps trying to get a word in edgewise, but she can't. Carnes reminds her to bring her sources to the meeting tomorrow. Felicity is surprised to hear that the meeting is the day; she thought it was week. Carnes says that she moved it up to get it out of the way. Was she going to tell Felicity that? That's kind of rude. Carnes walks out of the office, and Felicity looks after her with an expression on her face that says, "Now what?"
Felicity approaches Ben's apartment building. She spots Lauren standing outside his door, leaning against the wall. Felicity starts to turn around and walk away, but then decides to face her fears. She walks up and says hello, and Lauren says shortly that she's just waiting for Ben. Felicity uses her key to open the door, and then stops to ask Lauren if she wants to come up. Lauren says bitchily, "He knows I'm here." Felicity walks into the building. I don't really understand why the writers are having Lauren's character do a complete turnaround. In every other episode, she has seemed calm, centered, and in control. She made her choices, and she didn't want any interference. She wasn't exactly likeable, but she wasn't a bitch. And now she's just mean. Compare her behavior in the Thanksgiving episode, when Ben brought her to dinner as his date, to this episode. I realize she has a lot more going on now, but it just seems like the writers had her personality change to fit the storyline they wanted to use, and it sucks.
Felicity walks into Ben's apartment. Ben is putting on his shoes. Felicity complains about Lauren's behavior and asks Ben why he has to help her at all. Ben gives her a "Felicity," which I took to mean, "Could we not talk about this right now? The recovering alcoholic who is probably fifteen years older than me whom I knocked up in a one-night stand that was really just intended to help me get over you because you cheated on me is waiting downstairs." But maybe I'm reading too much into it. Felicity asks why Ben has to be the one to help, and why Lauren can't hire someone, or ask one of her friends. Ben says that he's just going to help her move some boxes, and that it will only take a couple of hours, and then Lauren will be gone. Felicity backs down and says that she's just had a really bad day. Ben asks if she talked to her professor. Felicity says that she tried to, but it was such a mess. Ben moves closer and asks if she wants to go see a movie when he gets back. Yeah, if "go see a movie" is code for "have hot sex with me." Again, I might be reading too much into that. Ben kisses Felicity and walks out, saying that he should be back by 5 PM. Felicity watches him go and heaves a big sigh.
Noel spots Zoe across the office and says hello. Zoe says that she's glad to see him. Noel asks if she's had a rough day, and she says yes, and then asks him to look at her design, because she can't figure out what's wrong with it. Noel takes a look, but he can't see any problems. Zoe smiles and says that she wishes that she and Noel could just hang out tonight, alone. Noel asks why they can't. Zoe reminds him of the client party, and Noel says that Sean can handle it. Zoe is rubbing Noel's tie in a way that makes me really uncomfortable. Noel brings up his first day working there, with the pizza and the hotel room and the firing. Well, he doesn't bring up the firing part. Zoe is all cuddly with Noel, who suggests that they recreate the night. They start kissing, which is really inappropriate in the office. Zoe breaks off and tells Noel that he should really go to the party, because it's his account.
Felicity and Meghan sit at the table in the loft. Felicity reads a magazine while Meghan waxes her legs. You heard me. Felicity asks what time it is, and Meghan says that it's 6:15 PM. Felicity wonders where Ben is, and Meghan suggests that perhaps Lauren had to return all of her six-packs for the nickel refund, and now she's rich. Okay, I know it's really wrong to make fun of someone who has a drinking problem, but Meghan's continued jokes on the subject crack me up. Meghan rips the wax from her legs and yelps, and the phone rings. Meghan answers and looks upset. Felicity asks what's wrong.
Cut to Felicity walking into a hospital. The desk clerk is played by the same actress who played the Marcie, the woman with the dead guy in her closet in Magnolia. Wow, she was also Life on Six Feet Under. I did not know that. Felicity asks Marcie about Ben's condition. Marcie asks if Felicity is a family member. Felicity says that she's his girlfriend, and just wants to know if Ben is okay. Marcie slowly gets up and looks up something on a computer, and then informs Felicity that it says that Ben is in surgery. Felicity asks if Ben is going to be okay, and Marcie says that she doesn't have any more information, and then walks away. Why are hospital desk clerks always so uncaring on television? The ones I've met in real life are at least polite, if not always forthcoming with information.
Felicity spots Lauren lying on a bed in an exam room. She walks in and says hello, and then asks if Lauren is okay, and if the baby is okay. Lauren says uncomfortably that they are both fine. Felicity tells Lauren that Ben is still in surgery. Lauren looks surprised to hear that. Felicity asks what happened. Lauren starts crying and talking about how some car just ran right into them. Felicity can't believe that Lauren was driving. Lauren says that she didn't see him coming. A doctor walks up and introduces himself as Dr. Stern. He asks Lauren how she's feeling. Felicity steps back to give him some room. Lauren says that she's okay. Dr. Stern starts to talk about Lauren's bloodwork, then turns and asks Felicity if they can have a minute. Felicity says sure and steps away, and Dr. Stern pulls the curtain, like that gives you any privacy. Luckily, Dr. Stern continues talking in a nice loud voice as he tells Lauren that she's not anemic, but that her blood alcohol level was over the legal limit, so they have to call the cops. The camera stays on Felicity throughout this speech, so we get to see her shocked and angry reaction. Lauren says okay, and Dr. Stern opens the curtain back up. Felicity and Lauren stare at each other, and then Felicity walks away.
The party for Noel and Sean's client, Waldron, is in a bar somewhere. Sean spots Noel across the room and walks over. Why is Noel always in a suit and Sean is dressed like he's going to spend the day watching the game on television? Sean says that he's figured out what's going on. Noel doesn't know what Sean is talking about, and Sean says he's referring to "the whole Zoe thing." Noel still doesn't think there's a problem, and Sean points out that Zoe is sitting at the bar, talking to some guy named Dwayne, who is apparently their contact at Waldron. Sean says that he found out that Zoe and Dwayne used to date, and Dwayne is the reason that Zoe was depressed. Noel wants to know Sean's sources, but Sean won't give it up. For like one second, and then he admits that Pauline told him. Noel doesn't think it makes sense, since Dwayne has been around for weeks and Zoe didn't say anything about it. Sean points out that they've been "courting the enemy." The characters on this show should just put a moratorium on ever listening to Sean or Meghan about anything. Those two are just the bad-advice couple.
Richard and Elena walk into the party. Richard can't believe that Elena didn't wear something sexier. Probably because she's pregnant and trying to hide her stomach. Again, just my theory. Richard says that the girl he is into is totally PC and not into material things so "[Elena] being here is plenty." They reach a sign-in table and Richard says that the girl will be really impressed. Elena asks what Richard is talking about. Richard says that she'll be impressed with him for "showing up with a black chick." Elena is indignant, and can't believe that Richard invited her just because she's black. Richard explains that he's just trying to look more "culturally diverse, a man of the people. Like Bono." Elena hauls off and slugs Richard right in the face. Richard falls to the floor and Elena stalks off.
Meghan is cooking at the loft, when the phone rings and she answers it. It's Felicity. Meghan asks how Ben is, and Felicity says that he's still in surgery. Meghan offers to come down, but Felicity says that it's okay, and then tells Meghan that Lauren was drunk. Felicity adds that Lauren is currently talking to the cops. Meghan says that the cops should be arresting her. Felicity expresses her incredulity that Lauren was drunk, especially since she's pregnant. Felicity starts to say something about what she'll do if something happens to Ben, and Meghan assures her that Ben will be fine. There's a short silence, and then Meghan says that she called Professor Carnes to reschedule. Felicity had totally forgotten about it. Felicity thanks Meghan, who offers again to come down. Felicity says that she needs to be there alone. Meghan asks her to call as soon as she hears anything about Ben, and adds, "And if you need, I don't know, food or a magazine or someone to scream at the nurses for you, whatever -- just call me, okay?" Felicity promises that she will and hangs up.
Back at the Waldron party, Zoe tells Noel that he looks cute. Noel asks why she didn't tell him about Dwayne. Zoe doesn't know what he's talking about. Noel says that he feels weird because he's spent all this time courting him. Zoe says that Noel did a great job, hence the party. Noel says that now he finds out that Zoe dated Dwayne and was in love with him, and he feels like an idiot. Zoe suggests that he might feel like a really big idiot. Noel agrees. Zoe says that she never dated Dwayne, and in fact, just met him last week. Noel realizes that she's telling the truth and excuses himself to go tell Sean that Zoe never dated Dwayne. Sean finds Pauline, whose hair is much less flippy this week. Sean wants Pauline to repeat what she said about Zoe dating Dwayne. A very drunk Pauline claims that she never said that. Sean reminds her of the circumstances of their conversation, where Pauline pointed at Dwayne and said that he was the guy who dated Zoe before Noel. Pauline remembers, but then adds that when she got closer, she realized that Dwayne wasn't the right guy at all. D'oh! And, duh.
Lauren walks into the hospital waiting room, accompanied by two cops. Felicity is snoozing, but she wakes up in time to see them walk by, and then to see Lauren walking away from the cops. She stands up and runs outside, calling to Lauren to wait. Felicity asks Lauren where she's going. Lauren says she's going to the police impound lot to get all of her stuff. Felicity asks if she's coming back to the hospital afterwards, and Lauren says that she doesn't know. I can't believe that the cops just let her go; what if Ben dies? Couldn't she be charged with manslaughter or something? I mean, I know Ben's not going to die, but the cops don't know that, and it seems like they would want to make sure Lauren stuck around. Felicity reminds Lauren that Ben is in surgery, but Lauren has no response. Felicity says that Lauren is unbelievable, and that she thinks Felicity and Ben are selfish, but she's the selfish one. Felicity screams that Lauren doesn't think about anyone but herself. Lauren says that she doesn't need to explain herself to Felicity as she starts to get into a cab. Felicity still can't believe that Lauren is just going to leave. Felicity adds, "You know who I feel sorry for? That baby you're having. Because it has you for a mother." Ouch. And, burn. Lauren gets into the cab and drives away, and Felicity stomps back towards the hospital.
A nurse lets Felicity into Ben's hospital room. Has anyone called Ben's parents? Is Ben's dad still in New York? So many questions. Felicity walks into the room, where Ben is still lying in the bed unconscious. He doesn't looks so good; he's got an oxygen mask on, and his head is bandaged. Felicity wipes away some tears and sits down. She reaches out and holds Ben's hand. She wipes her sleeve across her face and looks generally stricken.
Sean and Noel walk home from the party. Sean is giving Noel shit for not leaving the party with Zoe. I think Sean is a little too interested in Noel's sex life, or lack thereof, especially since his wife is practically living at Felicity's place. Noel tells Sean to bugger off, and that it's late and they were tired. Sean responds that Noel and Zoe are too young to be too tired to have sex. Yeah, because Meghan is practically a senior citizen. Noel pauses to look at a painting of a naked woman in a shop window and then realizes that he has a problem. Noel says that Zoe likes him, but something's wrong and he doesn't know what it is. Sean asks if Zoe ever says that she's not in the mood. Noel says no. Sean says that's good because when a woman says she's not in the mood, then it means there's something fundamentally wrong, like Noel's odor. Yeah, a woman couldn't possibly say that she's not in the mood because she's, you know, not in the mood. Noel asks if he smells, and Sean says that he doesn't, but that everyone has a basic scent, and sometimes one person just finds another person's scent repulsive. I have to say that I've never had that happen, but I don't get close enough to most people that I can sniff them. Sean says that it would be out of Noel's control anyway. Noel says that he doesn't want to have this conversation, then asks Sean what else it could be. Sean offers up, "Your height, your voice, the way you kiss." If Zoe were repulsed by any of those things, why would she be going out with Noel in the first place? She had her chance to dump him already. Noel tells Sean that he's horrible at making him feel better. Sean says that he likes the way that Noel smells, and then Sean has an idea. This is going to be bad, I think. Sean advises Noel to get some flowers and wine and go see Zoe right now. Noel thinks that Zoe is probably in bed. Sean says that it's spontaneous. Noel thinks that it's desperate. Sean shouts that it's romantic, which gives Noel pause. I think that it's inconsiderate to stop by without calling, but I'm old and dried up.
Felicity is still sitting by Ben's bedside. She asks a nurse if she could get a blanket. Felicity wanders out into the hallway and falls into a chair. Lauren walks in and asks how Ben is doing. Felicity hesitates and then says that Ben still hasn't woken up. Lauren says that she went to the impound lot and got her stuff, but her car is totaled. Felicity looks like she really could not care less. Lauren says that in AA, they tell you that it's one day at a time, and this morning she woke up and the day seemed like forever. Felicity looks up, slightly encouraging. Lauren continues, saying that she's been looking for someone to blame for all that's gone wrong in her life, but the truth is that there's no one to blame but herself. Therapy. Get some. I think Dr. Pavone could do wonders with Lauren. Or possibly Dr. Phil. Felicity just blinks. Lauren says that Felicity was right in what she said about her. The nurse arrives and hands Felicity a blanket. Lauren apologizes, then asks if she can see Ben. Felicity, who is a bigger person than anyone I know, says that Lauren can.
Richard shows up at Elena's door with a shiner. Elena is not interested in talking to him about it, but she lets him in anyway, because otherwise this would have been a really short scene. Richard says that Elena almost screwed everything up with this woman he likes. Elena is happy to hear that. Richard says that he told the girl that he got beat up by some cops at a protest. Elena doesn't think that Richard gets why she was upset. Richard thinks that Elena has anger issues. Elena thinks that Richard is racist. Richard says that Elena should be flattered, and besides, it's not like she's really black. Elena is understandably shocked that he said that. Richard says that she's obviously black, but she's not black, because she doesn't have any black friends and she's dating a white guy. Yeah, Elena never hangs out with or dates black people. Except for: her ex-boyfriend, Blair; her best friend, Tara, whom Blair cheated with behind Elena's back; Tracey, the guy that she almost married; and DeForrest, the guy she dated while Tracey was in Africa. And that's just off of the top of my head. So, shut up, Richard. Elena feels the same way, and basically pushes Richard out of her apartment. Richard protests that he's just a guy in college, trying to get laid, but Elena slams the door in his face.
Noel knocks on Zoe's door, holding a bag of groceries with some flowers sticking out of the top. She asks what he's doing. Noel makes up a story that he found the grocery bag with wine, ice cream, and flowers inside, and thought she might have dropped it. It's actually kind of charming. Zoe says that they're not hers, and Noel says that he's going to check with the neighbors. Zoe stops him by asking what kind of ice cream it is. Cut to them sitting on the floor in Zoe's apartment. Noel says he wasn't sure what kind of wine went with ice cream, so he got both red and white. He's just trying to get her drunk. They eat some ice cream, and Noel points out that Zoe has some ice cream on her chin. He wipes it off, and then kisses her. Man, that is the oldest trick in the book. Zoe pulls away. Noel asks her what's going on. She pretends that nothing is wrong. Noel says that he likes being around her and he's not trying to pressure her, but it seems like they connected physically when they started going out. Zoe says that there's a lot going on at work. Noel points out that they're not at work. Zoe protests that it's only been three weeks, and asks Noel why he's on a timetable. Noel says that he's not. And then my cable went out, and when it came back on, Noel was getting ready to leave and Zoe was answering the phone. It's Sean for Noel, to give him the news about Ben.
Lauren carries two cups of tea into Ben's room, where Felicity is sleeping in a chair. I would say something about the caffeine and Lauren's pregnancy but it's probably herbal tea, and after getting drunk, I guess a little caffeine isn't that big of a deal. Also, I don't care. Lauren hands Felicity a cup of tea and says that Felicity should probably go home. Felicity says that she's going to stay in the hospital tonight. Lauren says that she's going to get a hotel room or something. Felicity hesitates, knowing what the right thing to do is, but not really wanting to do it. Finally, she offers to let Lauren sleep in her apartment. Lauren chuckles and says she doesn't think so. Felicity assures her that it's okay.
Cut to Felicity and Lauren walking into Felicity's room. Felicity shows her the bed and tells her where the fresh towels are. I'm so impressed that a college student actually has fresh towels. Felicity says that she just needs to pick up a few things and then she's going to head back to the hospital. Felicity notices that there are messages on the answering machine, so she plays them. The first one is some guy for Javier. The one is Carnes saying that she can't reschedule the meeting, so it's still the morning at 8:30. Carnes reminds Felicity to bring her sources. Felicity puts her head in her hands. Lauren walks in and asks if Felicity is okay, and Felicity shakes it off and goes back to gathering some things for the hospital. Lauren walks up and reminds Felicity of when she said that it must be hard for Lauren to go through this. Lauren was just thinking that it must be hard for Felicity too. Felicity shrugs it off. Lauren says that she put Felicity in an impossible position. Okay. I seriously refuse to believe that even someone as emotionally damaged as Lauren is supposed to be would just now be thinking about the effect that her pregnancy, which she has known about for five months, would have on Felicity. Especially given all of the discussions that she's had with Ben about Arizona versus New York. At some point, she had to think that Ben wanted to stay in New York because of Felicity, and then think something about Felicity and her reaction to the whole situation. I've come across some pretty self-absorbed people in my life, but none that bad. I just think it's a continuation of the poor characterization of Lauren in this episode, where the writers are manipulating the characters to further their plots without giving any thought to whether the actions are true to the characters as presented thus far. And that's something that this show has rarely done, until this season. Sigh. Felicity says that she wishes she had done things differently, and Lauren says that she wishes that she had too. Felicity looks at her sharply and then says that she's going back to the hospital. Lauren stops her and says thank you. Felicity says good night and leaves.
The morning, Felicity sits with her head on Ben's bed, asleep. Ben wakes up and sees her. He squeezes her hand and she wakes up and looks at his face. He says hello, and she says it back, a look of wonder on her face. She reaches up and touches his face.
Downstairs, Meghan and Elena are running into some attitude from Marcie. They've been there all night, and they want to go see Ben, but visiting hours don't start for another forty-five minutes. Meghan points out that Elena is pre-med, but Marcie tells them that doesn't count. Elena asks Marcie to call upstairs and get a status report, but she won't, and Meghan declares, "This place blows!" The two women return to the lobby, where Sean, Noel, and Javier are waiting. They report that there is nothing to report. Javier sniffs Noel and tells him that he smells good. I guess that was to show us that Noel really doesn't have a bad odor. Felicity walks into the lobby and sees everyone waiting. Her face lights up. Sean asks if Ben is doing okay. Felicity says that he is. Javier hugs her. Felicity says that Ben lost a lot of blood, but the doctors say that he'll be okay. She asks how long they've been down there, and Noel lies that it hasn't been that long, and asks where Felicity is going. Felicity explains that she has to go and see Carnes, but they should go and see Ben because he's awake. Elena and Noel explain about visiting hours. Felicity sincerely thanks them for coming. Meghan apologizes, since Felicity said that she didn't want them there, and Felicity thanks Meghan for not listening to her. Felicity says she'll see them later and walks out.
Felicity arrives at the hearing. Carnes spots her and walks up so that they can "talk strategy" before the hearing. Carnes points out Lipshitz, who is already backing down because he can't remember the name of the student that Felicity copied from. Carnes says it as if she's sure that the reason he can't remember is because there is no such student. Felicity hesitates and then says, "His name is Ryan Baer." Carnes asks what she's talking about. Felicity pulls the dissertation book out of her bag and admits that she did do what she's being accused of. Carnes is struck dumb. Felicity apologizes and says that she knows that Carnes put her reputation on the line, and Felicity really appreciates that. Felicity also knows that she's put Carnes in a terrible position, and she's embarrassed. Carnes says that Felicity should be, and Carnes will have to fail her. Felicity knows that, and apologizes again. Carnes tells Felicity to go and tell the review board. Felicity takes the book back and agrees, walking off. Carnes asks Felicity if she's a senior. Felicity says that she's supposed to graduate at the end of this year. Carnes says that she'll have to think about it. Felicity walks off. This would all be a lot more suspenseful if I hadn't already seen the previews for week's episode, with Felicity in her cap and gown and such.
Richard knocks on Elena's door. Is Elena actually there, or is she still at the hospital? Richard tells the closed door that he knows what he did was stupid, and offensive, and racist. Of course, just as he says "racist," a black guy walks by. But he's certainly no friend of Elena's, because she only likes the whities. Richard begs Elena to look at his eye, because he thinks it's infected. Elena says that it can't be. Richard says that he doesn't have enough friends to lose one over this. Richard really knows how to work Elena's pity. Elena opens the door, and is shocked by Richard's scary eye, so she invites him in.
Richard and Elena sit at the kitchen table. Elena apologizes for hitting him and hands him an ice pack. Richard says he deserved it for being "a lot insensitive." Elena agrees, and points out that she is black. Then, the rest of the scene is so dumb that I can't really talk about it. Elena talks about how it must mean something that all of her friends are white, and she probably is just trying to fit in. Except for all of her aforementioned black friends and boyfriends, which render this whole subplot moot. Richard is jealous that Elena has something that automatically places her in a community. Richard makes some more quasi-racist remarks. Elena laughs. Ha! I can't believe they brought Elena out of retirement for that storyline. I've changed my mind. I don't think that Tangi Miller is pregnant. I think the writers just hate her.
Noel talks to Zoe in a conference room at work. Noel says that Zoe doesn't seem attracted to him, and he doesn't think it is going to work out between them. Zoe says that she is "completely attracted to [him]." Noel is attracted to her too, but every time he tries to get close, she pushes him away. Zoe asks if she can say something that might change his mind, and Noel asks her to please do so. Zoe closes the conference room door and walks back to Noel. She says that she hates talking about this, and then reminds him about her depression. She was on medication, but when she started dating Noel, she felt better, so she stopped taking it. Noel realizes that she's been feeling depressed. Zoe says that's why she hasn't been in the mood, but she started taking her medication again, and it usually takes a few weeks. The ironic thing is that many antidepressants suppress libido, but I guess it's better to feel less depressed and not in the mood than to be depressed, which generally also features lack of interest in sex. Zoe wonders if that makes Noel really want to avoid her. Noel says that he does want to go out with her, and he had no idea what was going on with her, and he doesn't want to rush her at all. Zoe admits that seeing Noel is the best part of her day. Wow, she must be depressed. Sorry, that was a kneejerk Noel-hate reaction. They pop up from time to time. Noel kisses her and then gives her a hug.
Felicity walks into her apartment and calls out to see if anyone is there. She walks into her room to find a stack of towels on her bed and a note from Lauren. So, since this morning, Lauren has already left, and Elena came home from the hospital and talked to Richard. And this all happened in the span of time that it took Felicity to meet with that review board? I don't know. We hear Lauren's voice reading the note. She is no Sally, I tell you what. Lauren reads, "Dear Felicity: Thank you for letting me stay here last night, and for listening. Seeing you face your problems, seeing you face me, it made me think for a while -- for a few hours anyway -- that I could face my problems too." Felicity walks into Ben's hospital room, carrying the note. Lauren's voice-over continues, "But then the morning came, and the baby kicked, and I had to go. I don't even know where exactly. Just tell Ben I'll call as soon as I'm settled. 'Yeah, whatever that means,' you're probably thinking, and the truth is, I don't even know." Felicity sits on the side of Ben's bed and takes his hand. He wakes up and gives her a big smile. She smiles back. Lauren voice-overs, "Thanks again. Lauren." Ben closes his eyes again. Felicity props the note on a monitor to Ben's bed, then sits down and touches his face. Fade out.
week: Graduation! Ben proposes! This show has just got to get better before it ends. I have to believe that, because the last few episodes have been really, really dumb.