Previously on Felicity: Ben found out that his father was getting worse. Noel told Felicity that he spilled the beans to Ben about their liaison.
Leaves rattle across an outdoor basketball court. Ben, alone, shoots some hoops. Felicity approaches the chain-link fence surrounding the court. The Tinkly Piano of Her Infidelity plays as Felicity asks Ben if she can talk to him for a second. Ben doesn't answer. Felicity tearfully says that she tried calling him all night. Ben says shortly that he was at the hospital. Felicity asks how Ben's father is, and Ben replies simply, "He's sick." Felicity pauses, and then begins pleading with Ben to talk to her. Ben tells her to get out of there and go home. Felicity continues to beg, but Ben says that he doesn't want to talk to her. Ben turns away, then turns back to add that he'll pick up his stuff from her apartment later. The music is very Eyes Wide Shut in this sequence, and I don't like it. Felicity stares at Ben, devastated, and then turns and walks away.
Boy, that peppy theme song seems jarring after that bleak opening scene.
Through a slightly opened door, we see Ben walking around the loft. It turns out that Richard is in Noel's room, keeping a lookout through the crack in the door. Richard reports that Ben just got home, and Noel reminds Richard that Ben lives there. Richard reminds Noel that Ben might come in there and rip Noel's throat out. Noel looks at apartment listings online and expresses his opinion that Ben won't do that. Richard says that he would do that himself, if Noel slept with Richard's woman. Of course, Richard would have to have a woman for any of that scenario to take place, and I don't see that happening any time soon. Richard continues to peek out the door, and gives Noel updates. Noel stands and grabs a stack of papers from his printer, asking Richard to help him pass them out. Richard agrees, then reminds Noel that he "always [has] a home at Casa Coad." Hee! I always forget that Richard's last name is Coad, and that it sounds so much like "choad." That's funny to me. Richard peeks out the door, and declares that it's clear.
Noel (dressed in a suit) and Richard (dressed in nothing special) walk out into the loft, hoping to make a quick getaway. Sean stops them and asks what's going on with Noel's outfit. Noel says he's starting his new job. Sean takes this opportunity to try to peddle some Schmegan merchandise to Noel. I have no idea how to spell Schmegan, and I guess that it's probably Smeghan since it's supposed to be a combination of their names, but I'm going with my original spelling until I see it written down somewhere on the show. That's how they pronounce it, anyway. Richard takes this opportunity to suggest that they fill Sean in on the Noel/Felicity/Ben issue. Now that Richard brought it up, Noel has to explain that he slept with Felicity. Of course, just as Noel says this, Meghan walks out and overhears it. Sean and Meghan express shock, and then simultaneously ask if Ben knows. Noel admits that he told Ben. Sean can't believe that Noel told Ben (me neither!) and Meghan can't believe that Ben didn't hit Noel (me neither!). Noel says that he knows this is going to cause tension in the loft, so he's looking for a new place, and sadly walks away. Richard takes the opportunity to let Sean (and the viewers) know that he would love to live in the loft, but his parents won't let him live off-campus. Richard is such an enigma to me. I would have never thought of him as the type of guy who would listen to his parents. Then again, he is kind of a stickler for rules and regulations.
Ben does some work in his room when there is a knock on the door. It's Sean, who has come to express...something. He says, "Um" and "You know..." a lot, but basically, Sean is trying to let Ben know that if Ben needs to talk, Sean is there for him. Ben says that he's really busy, because his mother is in town to see his father. Sean thinks it's great that Ben's parents are talking. Ben nods like he's not really sure that it's great at all. Awkward pause. Sean says that if Ben wants to get a beer or something, he's around. And again, I wonder about the sensitivity of urging a guy whose father is dying of liver cancer due to alcoholism to drown his sorrows with beer. I mean, I know that Sean was really just trying to show support in a very guy way, but it seems like there are other ways to say it. Ben says sincerely that he appreciates it. Sean stands there for a minute, like he knows that he should say more, but doesn't quite know what to say, and then leaves. Ben sighs and turns back to his work.
Felicity's doorbell rings. She opens it to find Meghan, who says, "You slept with Noel." Felicity sighs and says that everyone seems to know, and that it's horrible. Meghan disagrees; she thinks "it's about time." Meghan follows Felicity inside, and asks if Felicity is okay. Meghan comes to Felicity's bedroom, where Javier is sitting on the bed, eating ice cream. Javier tells Meghan not to worry about spilling the beans, because he already knows. Felicity says that Ben won't even talk to her, and that it doesn't get much worse than that. Meghan points out that "Sean lost a testicle." Javier reminds Meghan that he's eating. Meghan asks Felicity if she's going to get back together with Noel. Felicity firmly says that she wants to be with Ben, thus crushing the hopes of Felicity/Noel 'shippers around the world. ["All seventeen of you. Sorry!" -- Wing Chun] Javier assures Felicity that Ben just needs time to cool down. Meghan brings up the one time she cheated on a boyfriend -- well, the one time she got caught: "He was mad at me all summer, but when I got to eighth grade, he was all mine." Felicity doesn't look comforted by this tale, and when Meghan starts reminiscing about how hot the guy was, Javier reminds her that it's not about her. Meghan says that she came over in a show of "female solidarity," and offers to sleep over. Aw, that's so cute. Where the hell is Elena, anyway? Felicity says that Meghan doesn't need to do that. Meghan reminds Felicity that she followed Ben all the way to college, and "it's like a fairy tale; it'll work out." Javier says that when Meghan is the most romantic one in the room, they are in trouble.
Noel talks to Mr. Webb, his new employer. Noel promises that even though he still has the counseling job, it won't interfere with his new job at Mr. Webb's design firm. It shouldn't; it certainly didn't take any precedence in his life before he had two jobs. Why change his priorities now? Mr. Webb gives Noel some tasks to do, and Noel seems a bit overwhelmed, but muddles through somehow, as he always does. One task is to talk to "Zoe in Print Media," and Noel promises that he's all over it. As Noel says that, they walk by the aforementioned Zoe, who asks, "Who's all over me?" So you know right away that Noel is going to have an inappropriate relationship with her. Also, from certain angles, she looks startlingly like Ruby. Zoe tells Noel to come find her when he's ready, and then says goodbye to Mr. Webb, who turns out to be her father. Noel sits down in front of a computer, grateful to interact with a machine instead of a human being, since his social skills have gone down the drain this season, what with the blurting out of secrets and the multiple failed job interviews.
Some Big, Beefy Guy runs up to Felicity in the hallway and asks to talk to her. He's in Cavallo's class, and he didn't get his midterm in on time, so he was hoping for an extension. He takes all this time to explain to Felicity that he's on the hockey team, and he had a game, and blah blah blah. It doesn't matter, because Felicity is totally not listening, since she just spotted Ben walking down the hall towards her, accompanied by Trevor. Ben sees her, and just keeps walking. Ooh, burn. By the time that happens, Big Beefy Guy has just finished asking Felicity to help him get an extension, and Felicity distractedly agrees. Big Beefy Guy is all happy.
In Chemistry lab, Ben's science is tight. He's all rocking the experiment, much to Elena's surprise. So is Elena just hanging out with them during their labs all the time now? I'm surprised the professor would allow that. Elena is surprised that Ben can concentrate, and Ben points out that it's due the day. Trevor shows up and says something dumb about sulfuric acid. Ben says that he needs to go, and takes off. Once he's gone, Trevor tells Elena that cheating isn't something a guy can get over. Elena wonders if he thinks it's different for girls. Turns out Trevor does think that. He has a theory that when a guy cheats, it's just sex and doesn't mean anything. Elena says that it's the same for girls, but Trevor insists that for girls, emotions are involved, so it means more. Elena says that she's cheated and it means nothing. Except that in your case, it was partly because your fiancé wouldn't give up the goods. So I guess it was just sex. Trevor pretends that he agrees with Elena so that they can go over the lab.
Ben shows up at Felicity's door. Felicity is so happy to see him, but Ben just quietly says, "I came over to get my stuff, okay?" Felicity lets him in, looking like she's about to vomit all over the place. Ben walks into Felicity's room and starts grabbing his possessions as that annoying piano music plays again. The music is so distracting that it's kind of ruining the emotional impact of these scenes. Felicity stands there and watches him, opening her mouth to speak a few times, but then thinking better of it. Finally, she goes to point something out to Ben that he missed, but Ben quickly dismisses her. Ben asks if she knows where his green sweatshirt is, and Felicity, glad for something to do, looks for it in the bathroom. Ben stuffs some books into his duffel bag. In the most heart-rending part of the scene, Ben says, "Here's your key," and holds it out to Felicity without even looking at her face. She looks distraught, and like she wants to say something, but can't think of the words. Ben walks out quickly, running into Elena on the way. Elena suddenly has these bangs that make her look like Cleopatra. She asks Felicity if she wants some ice cream. Felicity shakes her head, probably too emotionally overcome to even speak.
Ben shows his mom, played by Dee Wallace Stone, around the loft. Does that mean that Ben and Elliott are brothers? When I was a kid, I had a crush on Elliott's older brother in E.T., Michael. I thought he was cute. I was like ten years old, so please cut me some slack. I also had a crush on Danny Noonan from Caddyshack, so you can see what my type was. Anyway, enough about my pre-adolescent crushes. Mrs. Covington is impressed with the loft, and notices the drawing hanging above Ben's bed. It's the one that Felicity did of the guy running into the wall. Mrs. Covington starts gushing about seeing Felicity's mom, and Ben quickly changes the subject by asking his mom what she wants to do. Mrs. Covington just wants to get back to the hospital, and tells Ben that his father has been put back on the transplant list. I think Dee Wallace Stone has had one too many facelifts, because her eyebrows are permanently raised and her face has no wrinkles or laugh lines or anything. Anyway, Mrs. Covington says that she can't wait to take Jack home. Ben is surprised to hear this, and Mrs. Covington confirms that she and her husband are reconciling. Ben sighs and shakes his head, and then sits down on the bed. Mrs. Covington sits to him and says that she knows it's hard. Ben tells her that he understands if it's what she wants, "but it makes [him] very, very nervous." Mrs. Covington explains that it is what she wants, and after all they have been through, "it's not easy to let go." She and Ben share a sort-of hug.
The Creepy Piano Music of Guilt-Ridden Insomnia plays as Felicity tosses and turns in bed, unable to sleep. She finally gets up and pulls out some paper and a pen. Lightning flashes outside her window. She checks to make sure that she's not keeping Elena awake, and then begins a letter to Ben. We don't get to hear it. Yet.
Felicity starts walking down the hallway to the loft, and then pauses as if she's rethinking her decision to give Ben the letter. Then, she continues on, resolutely. Ben answers the door. Felicity says that she knows he doesn't want to see her. Ben stares at her, and doesn't tell her that she's wrong. Felicity says she knows that she needs to respect that, and she "wasn't going to do this, but [she] couldn't help it." Felicity reaches into her coat pocket and holds out the letter. Ben doesn't make a move to accept it. Felicity firmly says, "Just take it." Ben finally does, and Felicity turns and walks off without another word. Ben looks down at the letter in his hand, and walks back into the loft. It's a total Rachel letter to Ross, although I would guess that Felicity knows the difference between "you're" and "your."
Felicity works on her painting in a studio. The Notorious BBG (that's Big, Beefy Guy) walks in and sarcastically says, "Hey! Thanks a lot." Felicity doesn't know what he's talking about, so he explains that he got an F on his midterm because she didn't ask for an extension for him. Felicity apologizes and says that she has a lot going on right now. Notorious BBG says that he doesn't care about Felicity's problems, and that he's in danger of losing his athletic scholarship. Um, if it's so important to him, why didn't he talk to Cavallo himself? Felicity promises to take care of it, and assures Notorious BBG that she was listening this time around. Appeased, he leaves. Felicity looks exhausted as she returns to her painting.
Trevor shows up in lab, where Elena sarcastically assures him that she has nothing better to do than wait around for him. But her sarcasm doesn't have that usual Elena bite, so you get the feeling that she's not all that upset. Trevor pulls a paper from his bag. Elena thinks it's lab work, but Trevor reveals that it's a paper about "the evolutionary theory of gender relations." Trevor reads that males need to fertilize as many females as possible in order to spread their seed. Trevor extrapolates from this to claim, "Guys have to fool around," because they are "wired that way." Elena has a great comeback here: "No, you don't." Trevor reads further, that a female is more selective, and that she shops around for a male who will protect her. Elena says, "Yeah, that's why women pick such protective and caring guys." Trevor brings up the fact that the female brain produces oxytocin, which makes women want to snuggle after lovemaking. Doesn't eating chocolate also produce oxytocin? After I eat a Hershey bar, I don't walk around hugging my cats. Elena says that she hates snuggling, and that she's not buying what the article says. She could also just say, "Nature versus nurture," I would think -- that just because a person has a genetic predisposition to act a certain way, there is also a certain amount of social conditioning that will impact their actions as well. I don't know why I'm getting so into this argument, since it is clearly designed to set up a bantering relationship with these two. Elena gets up and walks out, telling Trevor that since he knows so much about science, he won't need her help with the lab. Trevor realizes that he just signed his own death warrant.
Noel works late at his new job. Zoe enters and asks what he's doing there. Noel says that he's working on a CD cover. They exchange font jokes, which is graphic-design geek foreplay. Zoe says that Noel should go home, and Noel says that he should stay and finish his work. Zoe starts to walk away, and then returns to ask Noel if he wants to get something to eat, since she's dying for a pizza. Noel doesn't answer the question, instead saying that he should probably go home. Zoe says that she'll still be around in case he changes his mind. Noel looks like he is torn between staying and going, but eventually picks up his things and leaves.
Ben, Trevor, and Sean play darts at Epstein Bar. Sean keeps talking about how good it is that they are hanging out, and that it's what Ben needs. At Sean's request, Ben points out that Sean is talking too much, but he does so with a smile on his face. That's the first genuine Ben smile of this episode, I think. Trevor thinks that Ben needs "a blonde, brunette, or a redhead." Shut up, Trevor. Ben goes to get more beers all around, but not before asking Trevor if he's sure that he wants another, because of the alcohol poisoning and all. Hey, continuity! Nice to see you again.
In another part of the bar, Noel tells Richard about Zoe. Richard (who is wearing a leather bucket hat that makes him look like a shorter, whiter, nerdier LL Cool J) spots Ben and tells Noel to "be cool." Good luck with that. Noel looks over and sees Ben waiting at the bar. Ben stares back. Richard bails to go to the bathroom. Noel walks up to the bar. Ben stares at Noel, and then walks away. Sean notices Noel standing there. Trevor notices Sean noticing. Basically, everyone in the bar gives Noel the stink-eye, except Richard, who is in the bathroom. So Noel feels shitty, because he has no friends. Which is as it should be. Cut to Noel walking back into his office, carrying a pizza. Zoe is really, really happy to see him. I wish it were just because of the pizza.
Felicity tries to get one of The Tabbies out of the bathroom. When she finally exits, Felicity notices that she's wearing a green sweatshirt. Felicity asks if it belongs to Ben, and The Tabbie claims that it's hers and she's had it for ages. Felicity notices that the sweatshirt has "a bleach stain on the back exactly like Ben's." The Tabbie admits that it's not hers, but only because she thinks the bleach stain is gross. Felicity actually thanks her, when she should have just beat her down. The Tabbie leaves, but not before letting Felicity know that they are out of toilet paper. You know what the solution to that is? Felicity and Elena need to get a secret stash of toilet paper that they hide in their room, and only use themselves. Let The Tabbies drip dry for a while, and see if they replace the roll with a little more regularity. Felicity mutters to herself, "Who are these girls?" Exactly.
The doorbell rings, and Felicity answers. Meghan enters in full Jackie O regalia. Felicity hands Meghan the green sweatshirt. Meghan can't believe that she came all the way over there to pick up a sweatshirt. Felicity says that she can't see Ben again right now, because he looks at her with "hatred in his eyes." Meghan says that she can't wait to give Ben the sweatshirt, because she's also going to give Ben a piece of her mind. Felicity doesn't want Meghan to say anything, because Ben will think that Felicity sent her. Meghan assures Felicity that won't happen, but finally acquiesces to Felicity's request. Meghan hands Felicity a roll of toilet paper. The Tabbie bounces out and expresses her joy at the presence of more toilet paper. Meghan stops her and says, "Oh, no no no no. This roll is for [Felicity], not for you or your little playmate. If either one of you uses so much as a square to pick your nose, I swear to God you'll regret it." The Tabbie just says okay and runs away. Felicity laughs and says, "I remember that," referring to Meghan's bitchy attitude. It's so nice to be reminded that these two are friends. Now that they no longer live together, they hardly interact.
Noel and Zoe sit on the floor in the office, looking through versions of the CD cover. Zoe likes the one that Noel designed the best. Sexy music plays in the background. They discuss how nice and quiet it is in the office at night. Zoe says that sometimes, when she doesn't feel like being alone in her apartment, she comes to the office because "it's like an escape from the real world." She lives a sad existence. Oh, it just got sadder: Noel kissed her.
Ben and Sean play Gran Turismo 3 at the loft, taunting one another and doing that male-bonding junk. Meghan stomps in and throws Ben's sweatshirt on his head. Ben immediately looks pissed off, but manages to say thanks. Meghan tells him to thank Felicity, because Meghan wanted to put the sweatshirt in the incinerator. Sean tries to get Meghan to back off, but Meghan says she's going to give Ben a piece of her mind. Ben says that he doesn't want to hear it. Meghan tells Ben that he's "an idiot" and "moronic" for refusing to talk to Felicity. Ben says that he doesn't "have to take this crap," and stands up to leave. Meghan yells after Ben that he won't listen to her, or Felicity, so he might as well walk around with his fingers in his ears. At least that would be funny. Sean says to Meghan, "Nice." Meghan tells him to shut up. Good to know that relationship is still in tip-top shape.
Meghan walks to Ben's doorway and continues talking, but in a much softer, conciliatory tone. She says that Felicity really loves him, "so much that it's disgusting." When she doesn't get a reaction, Meghan adds that if she thinks about it too long, it makes her want to barf. Still nothing from Ben. Meghan points out that the least Ben could do is talk to Felicity and hear what she has to say. So Ben hasn't read the letter yet, I take it? Meghan sighs because the piano is all tinkly again, and then tells Ben just to do what he wants. Ben puts his head down.
Ben lies in bed and stares at the picture that Felicity drew. He sighs heavily. Out in the kitchen, Sean is on a cleaning spree. Meghan walks out and asks what's wrong, since Sean is cleaning the kitchen. Sean can't believe that Meghan is taking Felicity's side. Meghan points out that Felicity is her friend. Sean says that Felicity cheated on her boyfriend with her best friend, and wonders if that bothers Meghan at all. Meghan says that it really doesn't. Sean wonders why Meghan is defending Felicity, and Meghan says that she's just not judging her. Sean somehow leaps to the conclusion that Meghan thinks it's okay to cheat. Meghan responds, "I think it happens." Sean can't believe that he married someone who thinks that it's okay to cheat. Meghan thinks that it's stupid that they are fighting when they don't even have a problem, and that it's not even about them. Sean realizes that Meghan is right, and they hug, and then start making out. Ben walks out and apologizes for interrupting, then asks what Felicity wants to talk about. Meghan looks at Sean triumphantly.
My eyes! Noel and Zoe are still making out, and Zoe is directing him toward a couch. Zoe looks up, startled, and says, "Dad?!?" Noel lamely tries to explain why they were there together, making out. Mr. Webb isn't interested, and tells Noel that he is fired. Is that even legal? I guess it's legal in the sense that they probably have rules about making out in the workplace.
The Notorious BBG is back. Felicity explains that she told Cavallo all about BBG's extenuating circumstances, but it didn't matter. Meghan bops in and tells Felicity that Ben has changed his mind, and wants to meet her for dinner. Notorious BBG cares about Ben and Felicity, for some reason, even though he said earlier that he didn't care about Felicity's problems. I hope this storyline comes back later, or else that whole subplot was just dumb. Like I couldn't have figured out that Felicity was distracted from her schoolwork by the Ben thing. Anyway, Felicity looks somewhat gladdened, but also extremely nervous. And her cheeks are flushed. How does Keri Russell do that?
Remember how Ben's dad is in the hospital? Yeah, it's time to revisit that storyline. Ben sits by his father's hospital bed and just stares at his unconscious (or possibly sleeping) father. Jack wakes up, and looks much better than last week. Ben asks how he's doing. Jack asks for his wife, but she has gone to get food. Jack asks for water, which Ben quickly gets. Jack tells Ben about the transplant list while he takes a drink of water. Ben heaves a big sigh and then says that his mother said that they are getting back together. Jack is surprised that Mrs. Covington said anything to Ben, because she was worried that Ben would be upset. Ben scoffs. Jack asks if Ben is upset. Ben says that he's "worried it's going to be the same crap all over again." Jack looks away, and then says that he still loves his wife. Ben stares at his father, thinking about love.
Trevor and Elena work on Organic Chemistry at Elena's apartment. It seems that Trevor is finally getting it. They've both happy, even though Elena made Trevor grovel before she would help him. I think Elena has a lot of experience in making men grovel, which is why Tracy was so good for her. Anyway, Trevor wants to ask Elena something about her wedding. Elena hesitates. Trevor asks haltingly if it was called off because Elena cheated. Elena starts to elucidate, but then concludes, "It's hard to explain." Trevor says that her fiancé must have been shattered. Elena quickly says that they both were. Trevor says that Tracy had it worse. Elena thinks he's talking about the gender evolution thing. Trevor says that he meant that Tracy had it worse because "he lost Elena." And...cue the making out. Ugh. I still don't trust him.
Felicity waits for Ben at a restaurant. Ben stands outside, in the rain, looking in the window at Felicity sitting alone at the table. He stands there a while longer, as if he's not sure he should go in, but finally enters. Felicity sees him and looks hopeful and anxious. Ben sits down at the table, soaked. Felicity makes small talk about the weather, but Ben is pretty much monosyllabic. The waitress interrupts to take drink orders. Ben finally looks up and meets Felicity's eye, then asks what she wants to say. Felicity stammers a preamble about not knowing where to start. Ben looks intensely into her eyes. Felicity asks if they could just sit and talk for a little bit. Ben shakes his head, and says that he didn't come there to sit and talk. He came there because she had something to say. It should be noted that he doesn't say the above in an unkind manner -- just matter-of-fact, but you can tell that he's barely holding it together. Felicity says okay, then looks down at the table and tries to gather her thoughts. She begins, "I wish I could take it back." She continues along this vein, making excuses about her problems with her father, and how upset she was. Ben doesn't seem to be buying it, as he looks down at the table and shakes his head throughout her speech. Felicity talks faster and faster, but none of what she's saying are the magic words that will convince Ben to take her back, apparently. Ben finally says that he's sorry, but "this is just too weird." Felicity puts her head in her hand. Ben says that he has to go, and leaves. Felicity looks like she's about to cry, but then pulls it together and has a look on her face like, "Of course. Of course he didn't buy it. I said all the wrong things. I blew it."
Cut to Ben walking down the rainy street. Felicity runs after him and yells at him to wait. He turns around. She says, "I love you," as the rain pours down on her uncovered head. Ben takes a few steps back toward Felicity and says, "You know, I'm really starting to hate that word." Felicity gives him an uncomprehending look. Ben continues, "The way people use it, like you and my dad. Like you just say it and it makes everything better. Like you just say it and everything goes away." Ben starts to choke up on the last few words. Felicity wants him to tell her what she can do. Ben sadly says, "You've already done it. Honestly, I'm really trying to understand why you'd do this. I mean, every time I think about it, about you and Noel..." Felicity interrupts to try to apologize again, but Ben concludes, "I'm sorry. I can't do it right now. I just can't." Ben turns and walks away, as Felicity stands in the rain, watching him go, with a look of total devastation on her face.
Noel sits at his desk in his counseling office. Felicity walks by the door, and stops to say hello. Felicity explains that she was just leaving the studio and thought she would stop by and say hello. Things are very awkward between them. Felicity asks about Noel's new job, and Noel says that it didn't work out, but doesn't go into more detail. Felicity says she's sorry because she knows that Noel was excited about it. Noel says that it's fine, because he has the counseling job as a backup, and "it's always good to have a backup." Extreme awkward pause as they both realize that Noel is essentially Felicity's backup. Felicity shakes her head and sighs, then says that it's going to take her a long time to understand why he told Ben. Noel says, "Me too." The entire viewing audience -- save for a few lonely Noel-worshippers -- adds, "Me too." Felicity asks why Noel did it. Noel says that he doesn't know, and that he keeps doing things where he can hear his brain telling him to stop, but he does them anyway. Felicity takes that in, and then says that she just wanted to say hi. Felicity and Noel kind of smile at each other, tentatively, and Felicity leaves. Noel smirks to himself as if to say, "Well, there's another important thing in my life that I completely ruined."
Ben passes Noel in the hallway outside the loft. They walk by each other silently, and then Noel stops to tell Ben that he's looking for another apartment, and he'll be out of there soon. Ben doesn't answer, and starts to walk away. Noel asks after Ben's father. Ben says that his dad is doing better. Noel says that's good to hear, and Ben thanks him and walks away. Noel just stares after Ben, as if realizing how completely he has messed up.
Ben walks into the hospital. He stops outside his father's room without entering, and sees his mother shaving his father's beard. They are both laughing and talking.
Cut to Ben and Sean, sitting on the couch in the loft and drinking beer. Ben says that his mom used to cut his father's hair, too, and he thinks that his mom just wanted to be close to his dad. Ben says that he wants to forgive her. Sean asks, "Your mother?" Ben says that he's talking about Felicity. Ben heaves a sigh, and then says that he's not like his mother in that respect. Ben and Sean both take a swig from their beers.
Ryan Adams sings "Harder Now That It's Over." The first time I saw this episode, I was so sure that this was Neil Young. Ben looks out his bedroom window at the falling rain, and then picks up Felicity's letter and finally opens it. Ben slowly unfolds the letter and starts reading. From here on out, the words in quotes are a Felicity voice-over, and the scenes described are a montage: "Dear Ben: I dreamt once that I lost you. We were on icebergs and I can't remember if you were floating away from me or I was floating away from you." Felicity lies in bed, watching the rain. "But I remember waking up beside you. It was the middle of the night and it was raining, like tonight. And I heard your breathing, calming me." Cut to Felicity and Ben carving pumpkins together. "It was like we could speak without words." Felicity examines the necklace that Ben gave her to replace the one that was stolen, and he fastens it around her neck. "I wonder how we really learned it, this secret language." The captioning at this point included the lines, "Was it in between the lines you wrote so long ago in my yearbook? Were we whispering it to each other while we became friends?" but they were not spoken aloud. Ben takes Felicity's hand up on the roof, at the party where she wore that hot red dress. Ben and Felicity watch the Charlie Chaplin movie outdoors. "I only know that at some point, in the silences, I heard you." Ben kisses Felicity for the first time. "And now I'm left with words, these useless words, when all I want is to be beside you again." Felicity hugs Ben. The captioning adds, "To time my breathing with yours," but again, it's not spoken aloud. "To make you feel safe, to help you sleep." Felicity watches the rain. "To bring you back to me." Ben refolds the letter, and then lies down on his bed, deep in thought, while the rain continues to fall outside his window. I don't know how anyone could watch that montage and not want those two to get back together.
week: Meghan does a spell to get Felicity and Ben back together. Ben shows up at the loft with Lauren. Noel ends up in a hotel with a strange lady, handcuffed to the bed. I don't know how much more of the Noel downward spiral I can take.