Previously on Felicity: Dr. Pavone said that Felicity wants to be with Ben, but she also wants to be with Noel. Felicity broke up with Ben. Elena and Tracy didn't get married, but Sean and Meghan did.
Sean talks to someone on the phone about diamond rings; he can't afford the ring he wants, because his credit card is maxed out. While Sean talks, he looks at the ring he can afford on his laptop, and the diamond is miniscule. I have to say that I doubt that someone as non-traditional as Meghan would want a diamond anyway. Meghan stomps in, and Sean asks how it went with her parents. Meghan reports that her parents are not thrilled about the marriage, but that they want to get to know Sean and his parents, so they all have to have dinner together. Sean wonders when Meghan has ever cared what her parents want. Meghan claims that she's "all about family," but Sean doesn't believe it. Meghan points out that they might have kids someday, and she wants the kids to know their grandparents. Didn't Sean and Meghan spend a summer at her parents' villa in Tuscany and then the summer at her parents' chalet in Geneva? Her parents didn't seem to have a problem with Sean then. Did they not know it was serious? Because spending two summers in a row together seems pretty serious to me. ["But just because they were at her parents' homes, it doesn't necessarily mean Meghan's parents were there. Like maybe they were in Geneva the summer Sean and Meghan were in Tuscany, and vice versa." -- Wing Chun] Anyway. Okay, one more thing. It also worries me that Sean and Meghan got married without discussing whether they want children. Fine, I'm done. For this paragraph, anyway. Sean asks whether Meghan is pregnant. Meghan denies it, and then announces that they are all having dinner the night. Sean doesn't want to, but Meghan decrees it so.
Ben knocks on Felicity's door. Felicity answers, and her hair looks really pretty in this scene. The top is pulled back, but the rest is loose. Ben announces that "this" (meaning their breakup) is crazy. Felicity says she doesn't want to be broken up. Ben doesn't want to, either. They stare at each other for a minute. Ben suggests that they forget everything and start the year over. Felicity thinks that sounds good, and they hug. Over his shoulder, Felicity's eyes look kind of wary, as though she's wondering whether Ben will be so willing to forget everything when he actually knows things he won't want to forget. Or something like that.
Ben does homework while Felicity watches him. Felicity glances away, looking guilty and conflicted. Cut to Dean & Deluca, where Felicity is asking Javier if he would be able to stay with Samuel after cheating on him. Javier asks why they're talking about this. Felicity admits that she cheated on Ben. Javier gasps. Felicity adds that it was with Noel. Javier puts his hand to his mouth. Felicity says that Ben doesn't know. Javier has run out of ways to express shock, so he just stares at her. Javier realizes that the cheating is why things have been so crazy with Felicity's and Ben's relationship. Felicity adds that nobody knows about it, and that Javier can't tell anyone. Javier says he won't, because "[his] lips are like two glue sticks." Then, Javier demonstrates how his lips are stuck together, preventing the secret from escaping. Love him. Javier asks what Felicity's going to do. Felicity says she wants things to go back to the way they were before.
Back to Ben studying. Ben asks Felicity whether she remembers anything about ketone synthesis. Felicity says she doesn't, but adds that Elena's really good at organic chemistry and might be able to help. Ben says that he'll figure it out, sighs, and then asks Felicity whether she thinks it's stupid that he's trying to do this. Felicity assures him that she thinks it's great. Ben gets up to leave, and Felicity asks whether he wants to go see Say Anything... at the student union. Ben agrees, as long as he finishes his work. They kiss somewhat perfunctorily, and Ben smiles as he walks out. Felicity just looks sick as he walks away. So I guess they haven't had sex since they got back together. You'd think that would be the first thing they would do. Except for the part where Felicity is sick with guilt and worry. Not really conducive to romance.
Cut back to Felicity confessing to Javier. Felicity says that she feels guilty whenever she kisses Ben. Javier thinks that it's like Felicity is "stuck in a triangle...or a rhomboid...near the coast of Florida...and some of the Caribbean Islands." Felicity sighs in response. Javier says he's glad that she told him, and Felicity adds that she is glad, too.
Hey, it's Ms. DiPesto from Moonlighting! Sean is meeting with Ms. DiPesto. She tells him that the co-op board hasn't gotten any checks from him since July. In a tight real estate market like New York City, would they really let rent go unpaid for three months? Sean assures her that it's "just an oversight," and promises to have his business manager look into it. Thus pacified, Ms. DiPesto gets up to leave. As she's leaving, Meghan walks in, and Sean introduces them. Turns out Ms. DiPesto represents the co-op board, in case you couldn't figure that out from their conversation. Meghan walks into the loft and informs Sean that she called his parents, and dinner is on for that night. Sean is upset that she called his parents, because he doesn't want to do this. Meghan tells him that he doesn't have a choice. This week, Meghan's wacky earrings are playing cards. I guess that's better than the plastic babies. Sean says that his father is an embarrassment. Meghan thinks that everyone's father is an embarrassment. Hey, speak for yourself, lady! I love my dad. Sean is not convinced that this dinner is a good idea, but Meghan doesn't really seem to care what Sean thinks.
Felicity gets a check from the Financial Aid office for $75, but her tuition is $8000. The amazingly understanding clerk explains that there's only so much money to go around for aid, and Felicity applied late, so she got the short end of the stick. Felicity says, "Not that you care, but I got into a big fight with my dad and I told him I would do this on my own. I'm just trying to go to school." You're right, Felicity. He doesn't care, nor should he. There are people with much bigger problems than you, and some of them are probably standing right there in the Financial Aid office. The clerk says he has something that might help, and hands Felicity a book. Felicity reads the cover, "Guide to Scholarships." She thanks the clerk and makes to leave, but the clerk informs her that the book costs $35. Felicity, it's called a library. Look into it. They have lots and lots of books that you can use, for free. ["And if you show a little initiative, and have good grades, you can cobble together enough scholarship money to finance your schooling. I had a prof who cobbled together her grad-school funding from dozens of little scholarships for which students hadn't applied for years because they weren't, like, Fulbright scholarships. It's more work, but it is possible! This education-funding PSA brought to you by Wing Chun, University Registrar's Daughter." -- Wing Chun]
At Dean & Deluca, Javier looks through the scholarship book, and points out one he likes to Felicity. It's something called "Sunrise Surprise Beauty Pageant," and the prize is $10,000. Felicity doesn't want to be in a pageant, but Javier feels that Felicity and her "silky smooth skin are shoo-ons [sic]." Felicity points out something that she is more interested in -- the Liz Weinstein Scholarship for Women in Art, which she feels could solve all her problems. Javier wryly adds, "Not all your problems." Felicity shoots him a look and clarifies, "My academic problems." Javier says that Felicity can try to get the scholarship, and he's going to try out for Don Quixote, "and [they'll] both be like pigs in a blanket." Javier confesses that he came to the United States to be an actor. He went on one audition, for Grease, and got three notes into his song before the casting person called, "!" Javier hasn't gone on an audition since. Felicity assures Javier that he'll do great. Javier thinks that Felicity will, too, and "if Liz Weinstein is not available, [he] thinks [he's] looking at a beauty queen!" Felicity cracks up, and who wouldn't, really?
Noel walks up to the counter and asks whether anyone has been in there looking for him. Javier immediately clams up and looks guilty, because he knows the secret. Noel explains that he's supposed to meet Gnatalie's lawyer, and then notices that Javier is staring and asks what's wrong. Javier blurts out, "My lips are like glue sticks." Noel's all, "Oooookay," and then says that he thinks he sees the lawyer and takes off. As soon as he's clear, Javier sighs and says, "Oh, that was so awkward. Wasn't that awkward?" Felicity answers that it was a little awkward, and she's looking at Javier like, "Maybe if you could have stopped staring at Noel and looked a little less guilty, it wouldn't have been so awkward." Javier says, regarding Noel, "He was weird."
A professor walks into a classroom and starts giving a big speech about what a hard-ass he is, and how 40% of his students fail each year. Is that something to be proud of really? I mean, Chemistry's difficult enough without scaring your students. J-Dawg's dad was a Chemistry professor, and he was really nice. Just in case this portrayal had you thinking that all Chemistry professors are evil. I just wanted to defend the profession. Anyway, Ben is in the class, and he's seated to that guy from Popular. ["Christopher Gorham." -- Wing Chun] They commiserate that they will both probably be among the 40% who fail. Popular guy introduces himself as Trevor and offers to be Ben's lab partner. Ben agrees. No, no! Ben, you always pick someone smarter than you to be your lab partner, not the person who just told you that he's going to fail the class. Although I guess it would have been awkward to shoot the guy down. Trevor comments that if so many people fail the class, the professor must suck, and Ben giggles. The professor rattles off some stuff about chemistry that sounds really intimidating, and Ben and Trevor look...well, intimidated.
Noel meets with Gnatalie's lawyer at Dean & Deluca. The lawyer slides a check across the table for $50,000. Noel is stunned, and says that he only stayed married for a year, and thus didn't earn the money. Hey, I thought he was supposed to get $100,000. I guess this is after taxes. Also, take the money and run! What are you, nuts? Noel asks whether the lawyer knows where Gnatalie is; the lawyer doesn't, but he does know that she had no trouble taking the money. Noel starts telling a really boring story about his cousin who got hit by a cab and now lives off settlement checks, and he's the joke of the family. It pains me to think that there's someone in Noel's family who is more of a joke than Noel himself. It had to be said. The lawyer explains that if Noel doesn't take the money, it will revert back to the law firm. Noel decides that if the money has to stay with him or go to a law firm, he could use some money. That's my boy. The lawyer asks him to sign a receipt, and Noel adds that he could get his own apartment. Yeah, I don't think that unemployed people should be turning down fat checks, really. And if Noel is that morally conflicted about taking the money, he could just give some or all of it to charity.
At the loft, Sean tells Meghan that he's really nervous about the dinner, mostly because his dad says inappropriate things and tries to impress people, and it always leads to a fight between them. Meghan says that she'll help Sean control himself, and that whenever she says a code word, Sean will know to shut up. Meghan looks around the loft for an idea for a code word, and decides upon "Rice Krispies." Yeah, that'll be easy to work into the conversation. Sean agrees with this plan. Sean's parents arrive. His mom is your stereotypical Jewish mom from every sitcom you've ever seen. His dad is big and gregarious. Sean's mom says that they were upset not to be invited to Sean's wedding, but now that she's met Meghan, she knows that it was meant to be, and that Meghan is gorgeous. This breaks the ice a bit. Mr. Blumberg gives Sean a big hug, and Mrs. Blumberg follows suit. They look around the loft. Have they never been there? And Sean's lived there for at least four years? That's weird. As his parents walk off, Sean starts to complain to Meghan that his father is wearing a suit, like God forbid someone tuck his shirt in, since Sean never seems to. Meghan just mutters, "Rice Krispies."
A bit later, they all sit in the living room. Mrs. Blumberg compliments Meghan on the food and such, and expresses that they are looking forward to meeting her parents. Meghan says that it's been fun, but they need to catch the train to her parents' house. As they put on their coats, Mr. Blumberg asks about Sean's stereo. Sean is short with his father, for no apparent reason. Mr. Blumberg hopes that Sean got a good deal, and Meghan comments that Sean "got the guy down to $400." Mr. Blumberg thinks that he could have gotten it for $300, but he doesn't say it in a mean way -- just conversationally. Meghan realizes that Sean's buttons are being pushed, and tries to hurry everyone along. Sean blurts, "Why'd you have to wear a suit, Dad?" Mr. Blumberg doesn't see the problem, but Sean keeps picking, saying that his dad is trying too hard to impress people, and it shows. Meghan keeps yelling, "Rice Krispies!" Mr. Blumberg wonders whether Sean is ashamed of him; Sean says that Meghan's parents are different, and wouldn't ask how much something costs. Mrs. Blumberg tries to calm her husband down, but Mr. Blumberg thinks they should leave. Meghan asks them to stay, and says that Sean didn't mean it. Mr. Blumberg says that Meghan is very nice, but he knows that Sean did mean it. Mrs. Blumberg apologizes to Meghan and promises to reschedule, then runs after her husband. Meghan asks Sean if he's happy now, and tells him to call her parents and explain what happened. Sean keeps his back to her, and says, "Happily." Well, that could have gone better.
Felicity and Elena sit on the floor in her apartment, sorting through Felicity's portfolio and picking pieces to be submitted for the scholarship. Elena confesses that she called Tracy, but hung up when his roommate answered the phone. Elena doesn't know why she called, but she can't even get rid of the sweatshirt she's wearing, which belongs to Tracy. Felicity tells her to give it time. Elena says that it's hard to lose a fiancé, and then jokes that she lost a lab partner, too. Elena says she might team up with Ben, because he asked her for help with o-chem. Felicity admits that it was her idea, and apologizes because she knows Elena is busy. Elena says it's okay, but that she doesn't know how much she can help, because it's a tough class. Unbeknownst to the girls, Ben walks into the apartment and hears their conversation. Elena reminds Felicity of a former classmate of theirs who only lasted six weeks in the class, and she doesn't want that to happen to Ben. Elena points out that Ben didn't even know what an alkane was, and that's "as basic as it gets." Ben walks towards the girls, and pauses to listen in. Felicity asks Elena whether she thinks Ben can do it. Elena says she doesn't know about Ben's discipline, because being pre-med is a full-time job. Felicity knows, but she doesn't think Ben is "a six-weeker," and that if he really wants it, he can be a doctor. Elena looks doubtful. Whew! I was really scared that Felicity was going to say something unsupportive of Ben, and Ben would hear it. I don't really care if Elena supports Ben or not, although of course it would be nice if she did. Felicity pulls out a picture she drew of Noel, which Elena thinks "definitely belongs in the portfolio." Ben realizes that they're done talking about him and walks into the room. Neither girl suspects anything. Ben says that he "got those equations." Elena offers to help, but Ben says he's just going to go to the library. As he leaves, Felicity calls out that she knew he would get them. After Ben's gone, Felicity gives Elena a look like, "See? He's not a six-weeker."
Sean makes a Pop-Tart in the loft. Meghan walks in with a Barnes & Noble bag, from which she pulls a book called Fathers & Sons to show to Sean. Meghan asks whether his picture is anywhere in the book. Sean doesn't think so, and Meghan adds that with the way he's acting, it never will be. Sean can't believe that she "wasted, what, twenty-five bucks, just to make a stupid point." Yeah, I kind of agree with Sean on that one. Not that it was a stupid point, but that it was a waste of money. Meghan says that the point isn't stupid, and she's telling him, as his wife, to talk to his dad. Sean isn't buying what she's selling. Meghan goes on to say that a few years ago, she got sick of going home as "Meggie," so she went dressed as herself. At first it sucked, but then it got better, and now she has a relationship with her parents. When did all this happen? Did I miss that episode? Because I was still thinking that Meghan's parents thought she dressed like a Sunday-school teacher. Sean says that clothes are the least of his father's problems, except the suit. Meghan adds, "And the fact that his son is a total ass." Sean sarcastically says that his self-esteem is skyrocketing. Meghan says that she doesn't always love it, but she talks to her dad, and even though they don't always get along, they talk. She takes a bite of Sean's Pop-Tart and leaves in disgust.
At Dean & Deluca, Felicity tells someone on the phone that the scholarship was listed in the book, and then hangs up, clearly upset. Javier walks in, singing scales. Felicity tells Javier that the art scholarship doesn't exist anymore. Javier groans, and then says he saw Noel and pretended that he didn't know the secret really well, and then asks if it's still really awkward. Felicity says she hasn't been to the loft in days. Javier says that won't last long, because Noel is moving. Felicity is surprised, and Javier adds that he offered to be a reference for Noel's application on a new apartment. Felicity looks shocked.
Ms. DiPesto tells Sean in the hallway that she's sorry to bother him, but she's getting a lot of pressure from the co-op board. Just then, Noel walks by and informs Sean that he found a great new place, so he's giving Sean his thirty days notice. Only thirty days? And no lease? What kind of landlord is Sean, anyway? I'd expect him to make his tenants sign a one-year lease and require three months' notice, at least. Anyway, Sean wonders where Noel got the money, and Noel explains about the Gnatalie inheritance. Sean flatly congratulates Noel, and Noel says that he didn't earn the money, like anyone cares about Noel's stupid misguided conscience. Noel leaves, and Sean asks Ms. DiPesto whether he can mail her the check. Ms. DiPesto says she needs it now. Sean confesses that he's "in a little bit of a bind," and asks for a couple of days. Ms. DiPesto says that she can hold the board off for a few more days, but that they're going to hire a lawyer if he doesn't come through. Sean sighs and asks whether she knows anyone who's looking for a sublet. Ms. DiPesto doesn't. How does Sean ever get money? Is he still living off the money from the Docuventary? If they're going to bring up money issues now, they could at least explain how it worked in the past.
Ben and Trevor are in a really, really dark lab, like, it must be in a cave or something. Every lab I've ever been in had overly bright florescent lights. Anyway, they're both wearing protective eyewear, and yet Scott Speedman still manages to look hot. How does he do that? Trevor complains about the experiment, because the material is still brown and it's supposed to be black and crystalline. Ben appears frustrated, because he can't figure out what they're missing. Trevor says that they've been at it for six hours, and tonight is Molson Night at some bar. Trevor suggests that they go have a few beers and try the experiment again later. Somehow I think that drinking alcohol and messing with chemicals don't mix very well. Ben is tempted, but then decides he's going to stay, and tells Trevor to go ahead. Trevor does. I don't like this Trevor one bit. He's like Lynn II: Electric Drunkaloo.
Sean arrives at his parents' house in Flushing, where his father is watching Wheel of Fortune. Sean's brother is played by Greg Grunberg's brother, who looks just like Sean, but fatter; he comments, "Nice work." Sean turns down the television, and then sits down to his father. Awkward pause. Sean comments on the show, and then asks his father what's in the box sitting nearby. Mr. Blumberg comments that it's "a screwless chair," which is an idea he had. See, he's an entrepreneur too. Mr. Blumberg comments that the idea didn't take off, and Sean's brother (who I'm just going to name Don) adds that the idea still has potential. Sean tells his father that the dinner has been rescheduled as brunch the day. Mr. Blumberg asks whether that means Sean isn't embarrassed about his father. Sean doesn't answer. Instead, he asks whether his parents will be there. Mr. Blumberg says that Mrs. Blumberg would like to be there. Don yells out, with his mouth full, that he already has plans. Don is supposed to be the comic relief.
Javier nervously walks onto a stage, dressed in armor, and asks to be considered for the role of Don Quixote, and adds that he would also consider the role of Sancho Panza. The director asks him to lose the accent, and Javier shifts around nervously. The pianist starts playing. Javier bursts out, "To dreeeeeam the impossible dreeeeem" in a kind of flat voice, but it's Javier, so it's super-cute. The director interrupts him to call out, "!" Javier mutters that he missed the intro, and walks off the stage.
Sean walks into the loft to find it mostly empty. Some big burly men are carrying out what remains of the furniture. He asks what's going on, and Big Burly Man #1 explains that they are from a collection agency, and they're taking his furniture. Sean still doesn't get it, and BBM explains that the landlord let them in, because Sean is past due on his payments. Sean protests that they are taking everything that he owns, and BBM #1 says that Sean has bigger problems, because the super says that they're getting ready to evict him. BBM #1 and #2 walk out with the furniture, and Sean looks around the now empty loft. It's way too clean -- I'm sure the collection agency would have just tossed his personal belongings aside to get to the furniture, not put them away neatly.
Noel sits on the floor in the loft, to a lamp. Felicity walks in and asks what's going on, referring to the lack of furnishings. Noel says that Sean left a note saying that the floors are being redone. Felicity wonders when Sean will be back, because she has a question for him. Noel has no idea. Awkward pause. Felicity says that she heard Noel is moving, and Noel says he found "a place in Chelsea." Well, that check should just about cover first and last month's rent and the security deposit. I don't know how he's going to pay the second month's rent. Felicity looks upset that Noel is leaving without talking to her about it. Noel asks if he can give a message to Sean for her. Felicity wants Sean to know that she stopped by because she has a financial question for him. Noel laughs that Felicity must be "pretty desperate." Felicity laughs, too. Noel asks what the problem is. Felicity says that she's trying to pay her tuition; she went to the bank to get a loan, and was told that she doesn't have any collateral. Do you need collateral for a student loan? I have lots of friends with student loans (and I thank God every night that I didn't have to take any out), but all of them were technically still dependent on their parents, so I don't know what the story is here. But then again, people take huge loans for medical or law school, and they're old enough that they aren't dependents anymore. It just seems unrealistic that Felicity couldn't get a loan. Anyway, Felicity's bright idea is to charge her tuition on a credit card. Noel tells her not do that, because the interest rate would be too high. Well, she could shop around and find a card with a lower interest rate. I need to stop obsessing about this. Noel offers to help Felicity with money, and explains about the Gnatalie inheritance. Noel says that he doesn't need or want the money, and he can get a smaller apartment. Felicity says that she can't take money from him. Noel says that it'll be a no-interest loan that she can pay back whenever. Felicity says that she needs to do it on her own, because she's no Joey Potter, but thanks Noel anyway, and calls him "amazing." Wow, am I glad she didn't take that money.
Trevor walks into Chemistry class to find Ben asleep on the desk. He asks whether Ben was there all night; Ben says he was, but that he thinks he figured out the problem. The professor walks in. Trevor says how great Molson Night was, and then calls the professor over to check out their work. Well, it's really Ben's work, but Trevor doesn't seem to have a problem taking credit for it. This guy is bad news. The professor says that it's not right. Trevor points out that it's black, but the professor says that it's gooey, and it's supposed to be crystalline. The professor snarks, "Maybe some sleep would have helped avoid this common error." Ben politely asks what the error was, but Professor Snark says that telling Ben the error won't help him to learn, and Ben needs to do it on his own. Also, if Ben doesn't figure it out, he won't be in the class much longer. Professor Snark walks away, and Ben comments to Trevor, "Man, you were right. This guy sucks." Professor Snark hears it, and says that if there's a problem, no one is forcing Ben to stay.
Sean tells Noel about his latest brainstorm -- flavored pen caps. Sean demonstrates the way people chew on pens all day, and that it would be great if the pens were flavored. I think a better idea would be if they contained fluoride or some agent to make your teeth whiter and stronger. People seem to be obsessed with strong, white teeth these days, with the Sonicare and the Crest White Strips. Noel asks whether this is about the Gnatalie money, and Sean explains that he just needs "a little seed money." Sean makes Noel try the blackberry-flavored pen cap. Noel sticks it in his mouth, but doesn't look very pleased. Sean tells Noel that he doesn't need an answer now, and urges Noel to try the cherry-flavored one. Sean leaves, and as soon as he's gone, Noel tosses the pen aside.
Javier makes Felicity breakfast and tells her how badly his audition went. Felicity is sure it wasn't that bad, but Javier assures her that it was, and "the dream is definitely dead." Felicity says that she knows the feeling. Javier asks whether she broke up with Ben, but Felicity tells him that she didn't get the loan. Javier comments, "Oh, for a second there, I got so scared. This omelet will make you feel better." I wish Javier would come to my house and make me breakfast. I'd even settle for Javier recording my outgoing answering machine message. Felicity takes the omelets and moves to the breakfast table, explaining that her only remaining options are calling her father and groveling, or dropping out. Javier asks where the scholarship book is, grabs it off the table, and starts leafing through it. Felicity is sure that there is nothing left, because she's looked through it thoroughly. Javier opens to the page with the beauty pageant, and thumps his fingers on the page. Felicity says that it's "ridiculous" to think that she would enter the pageant. Javier tells her that "it's not all beefcake," and there's an academic portion. Felicity doesn't believe him. Javier reads that she only has to send in a recent photo and application within one week. Javier reads further that pageants are the #1 source of scholarship money for young women. You know, the pageants always trot out that statistic, but I don't think it says anything good about pageants. It really shows how mixed up our society is, that we would rather force women to preen and pose for scholarship money, instead of awarding it based on merit or need, regardless of how a woman looks in a bathing suit. Maybe it's just me. Javier asks Felicity why she's being so judgmental, and points out that it's $10,000.
Sean and Meghan arrive at the Rotundis' house for brunch. The butler greets them, if that gives you any indication of how ritzy the place is. Meghan strips off her coat to reveal the most inappropriate outfit for brunch, ever, even for Meghan. She's wearing a backless black kerchief-style top with beaded fringe, and a hot pink velvet micro-mini skirt, also with beaded fringe, finished off with fishnet stockings. I mean, come on. Meghan and Sean wish each other luck, and walk into the room where their parents are seated. The parents greet them. Sean's dad is wearing much more casual clothing, and Sean compliments him, then compliments his mother. Meghan asks for one of what they're drinking, which look like mimosas.
Elena, who is still wearing Tracy's sweatshirt, sits on her bed, reading a letter. Ben knocks on her door and asks whether Felicity is around; he then asks what's the matter, since Elena looks upset. Elena explains that she got a letter from Tracy. It says that he needs to be away from her for a while, so he's taking the semester off and going on another mission to Africa. Is that where Scrubs is filming? Elena was hoping that they could fix their relationship, and now she feels stupid, and like she made "the biggest mistake of [her] life." Ben asks whether it would be smarter to marry Tracy, knowing that it's a mistake. Elena points out that she's lost him. Ben says that marrying someone for the wrong reasons is crazy. Elena asks whether Ben thinks that she did the right thing. Ben says that he does. Elena wipes away some tears and says that it helps to hear it. Ben nods and smirks, then adds, "Even coming from a six-weeker?" Elena looks stunned and starts apologizing. Ben laughs and tells her that it's all right, and he doesn't know whether he's going to make it, either. He asks Elena to tell Felicity that he stopped by, and leaves. Elena sits on her bed and probably feels really dumb. And stinky, in that sweatshirt she's been wearing a few days in a row.
At the incredibly fancy Rotundi brunch, Mr. Blumberg says that he rides Rotundi elevators all the time and never got stuck once. So apparently Meghan's family fortune comes from elevators. Mr. Rotundi (who is the same actor from season one) looks like he has a giant ass-pole (tm Niki). Mr. Blumberg asks Mr. Rotundi what kind of return he gets on his investments. Mr. Rotundi guesses that he might get 20%. Sean tries to change the subject, but Mr. Blumberg isn't listening, and tells Mr. Rotundi that he could get him a 30% return. Mr. Rotundi doesn't really know what to say. Mrs. Blumberg tries to get him to shut up, but Mr. Blumberg starts talking about his screwless chair invention. Mrs. Rotundi (who is the same actress who played Mrs. Rotundi in the first season, and was also Pat on Buffy and the owner of the Cheshire Cat B&B onGilmore Girls) looks uncomfortable. Actually, everyone at the table looks uncomfortable at this turn in the conversation. Sean tries to change the subject again, and Meghan puts a hand on Sean's arm to keep him from getting upset. Mr. Blumberg decides that the sales pitch for his chairs could be "Screw other chairs." Sean looks disgusted, and Meghan smirks. Mr. Rotundi asks whether Mr. Blumberg has a prospectus, and Mr. Blumberg gets up to get it out of his car. Mrs. Blumberg protests that they're having brunch, and Sean gets up and follows his father out of the room, trying to stop him.
Just outside the room, Sean corners his father and whispers that it's bad enough that Mr. Blumberg used to ask Sean's friends' parents for money, but these are his in-laws. Mr. Blumberg happily explains that he's offering the Rotundis an opportunity. Sean says, "To lose money." Mr. Blumberg's face falls. Sean explains that Mr. Rotundi doesn't want to invest, but he's too classy to say so, and orders his father not to do this. Mr. Blumberg asks whether Sean thinks he's a loser. Sean raises his voice, attracting the attention of those at the table, as he says, "Dad, when was the last time one of your ideas ever worked? Please don't do this! You're embarrassing everyone --" Sean cuts himself off as he realizes that he was yelling. Meghan looks on sadly. Sean excuses himself and walks out. Meghan follows. Gee, do you think Sean is embarrassed of his father because he's ashamed of himself and his own failures?
Sean walks into Noel's room and brings up the pen-cap thing. Noel apologizes and says that he doesn't think the investment is for him. Sean says that's okay, even though he thinks flavored pen caps are going to be really huge, but that's not why he came to Noel. Smiling, Noel says he knew something was up because there was "an air of desperation" in Sean's pitch. Sean confesses that he's in financial trouble, and he thought the pen-cap thing would get him out of the hole, but that he shouldn't have tried to take advantage of a friend. Sean gets up to leave. Noel says that just because he's not interested in investing doesn't mean that he's not interesting in helping, and grabs his checkbook. Sean hesitates, and then says that he can't just take Noel's money. Noel smiles and says he's not just giving it to Sean; it's a loan. Sean nervously says that he needs a lot of money. Noel says that's all right, because it's blood money, and he wants no part of it. Noel hands Sean a check. Sean looks down at it and then grabs Noel in a hug. After a moment, Noel makes to let go, but Sean isn't releasing him. Aw, Sean. He's a lovable lug, isn't he?
Elena (still wearing the sweatshirt) helps Ben and Trevor in the Lab of Darkness. Ben thanks her for helping, and Elena says that they can't let one lab turn them off to "the whole thing," plus she wants to get her mind off Tracy. Trevor is completely uninterested in the lab work, and he wonders why anyone would want to get married at the age of twenty anyway. ["Shut up, Trevor, you Robert Sean Leonard-looking mofo." -- Wing Chun] Elena shoots back that she loved Tracy. Ben says something about the experiment to change the subject. Trevor tells Elena that there will be others, because Elena's so...at a loss for words, all Trevor can say is, "Damn!" Ben laughingly tells Trevor to take it easy, and then realizes that they've successfully completed the experiment. Trevor thinks this is cause for celebration, and pulls a glass mug out of his backpack, because it's Mug Night at some bar. Elena asks what he's talking about, and Trevor says that if you bring your own mug, you get free refills. Ben says that he's got to go find Felicity. Trevor tells Elena that she needs Mug Night. Elena doesn't have a mug. Trevor grabs a beaker or something and tells Elena that she can use it. Elena agrees to go for one drink, and they take off together. Still not liking Trevor.
Mr. Blumberg and Don are adding up some checks in their living room when Sean walks in. Sean starts to talk about brunch, and Don comments that he can't wait to hear this. Sean asks Don to leave them alone for a moment. Don goes to his room. Mr. Blumberg says that he gets it; he embarrassed Sean. Sean protests that it's not that, and it wasn't about his father. Sean wanted the Rotundis to accept him, and to think that he is successful. Mr. Blumberg says that Sean is already successful. Sean says, "Yeah. I'm twenty-seven years old, Dad. I've never been to college. I don't have a job, and all my friends are younger than me. Now, I've got a wife to support, okay? I'm a loser." Wow, it looks like the writers have been reading our forums, because those are all complaints that people have had about Sean in the past. Mr. Blumberg thinks that Sean is wrong, because he has that great apartment, and he always comes up with great ideas. Mr. Blumberg rushes over and pulls some cereal out of the cupboard. Sean asks if they are Lact-Os, and Mr. Blumberg says that they have them for breakfast every week. I wish he had pulled out some Smoothaise instead. That was my favorite Sean idea. Mr. Blumberg says that he's proud of Sean. Sean looks surprised. Mr. Blumberg tries to cover his emotions by asking what's new. Sean says dispiritedly that he's got some pen caps. Mr. Blumberg asks, "What, they're flavored?" Sean brightens and says yes, and Mr. Blumberg says that he had the same idea, because (they both chorus), "people are always chewing on the ends." Mr. Blumberg is sure that they're going to be huge. Sean says, very seriously, "It's my idea, okay?"
At Dean & Deluca, Felicity calls her father and starts to leave a message on the machine asking him to call her back. Before she can finish the message, Javier busts in yelling that the dream is alive. Felicity asks if he got the part of Don Quixote. Javier says he's in the chorus, and Felicity hugs him and congratulates him. Javier squeals, "To dream the impossible dream!" and then tells Felicity to finish her call so he can fill her in. Felicity picks up the phone and tells her father not to worry about calling her back. I would love to see the look on Mr. Porter's face when he listens to that message.
Felicity sits on her bed and sorts through photographs. Ben comes in and asks what she's doing. Felicity says she's looking for a picture for "this scholarship application." Ben wonders what kind of scholarship needs a picture. Felicity says she'll tell him about it if it works out. Ben asks whether she wants to go see that movie. Felicity smiles and says she would love to, and they kiss, for real this time. My friend Molly just commented tonight that there have just not been enough scenes this season of Felicity and Ben making out, and I heartily agree. Sadly, I don't think that problem will be remedied any time soon, if the previews are any indication of what's to come.
An ovary sings on the soundtrack as we see a montage of the following: Noel and Sean bring the furniture back into the loft; Elena stares at Tracy's sweatshirt and then finally puts it in a drawer, covering it with some other clothes; Felicity puts her pageant application into an envelope; Professor Snark comes over to Ben, checks out his lab, and nods approval as Ben smiles; Felicity walks outside, hesitates, and then puts her application into a mailbox; Javier sings in the chorus at rehearsal.
Meghan walks into the loft. Noel asks how it went with her parents. Meghan sarcastically says that it went great, then explains that her father told her that she's great, and he loves her, and then threatened to disown her. Noel asks what she means. Meghan replies, "I don't know. I guess that if I don't annul my marriage to Sean, I'm cut off." Noel asks whether she's serious. Meghan says that she is, and asks him not to tell Sean. Okay, I know I promised to stop criticizing their marriage, but it seems that keeping their financial difficulties from each other is also a big problem. I'm not saying that they need to merge their finances, but the therapists always say that one of the biggest reasons for divorce is money, and lack of communication about financial issues. I know that the marriage took them by surprise and all, but this worries me. I like these two, and I want them to stay together. But all the secrets can't be healthy. Maybe they should go talk to Toni Pavone. She would tell them what's what. Or Dr. Phil.
Just then, Sean bursts into the loft. He asks Noel whether he can be alone with his wife, and Noel leaves the room. Sean calls Meghan over, and explains that tradition states that the proposal is supposed to come before the wedding, but...and he kneels down and hands Meghan a box. Meghan asks what it is, and then opens it. Sean tells her that it's cubic zirconium, but he promises to get her the real thing one day. Meghan looks at it, near tears. Sean asks if she doesn't like it. Meghan says that she does, and hugs him.
week: Felicity enters the beauty pageant. Javier is her coach. Felicity gets big hair and makeup. Felicity does a dance routine to the tune of "Rhinestone Cowboy," and Javier gives her a thumbs-up. I know that my description doesn't reflect it, but it looks hilarious.