Previously on Felicity: Avery invited Ben to Southampton; Felicity accused Ben of having a thing with Avery; Ben revealed that he's on academic probation; Knoll contemplated moving to Seattle.
At the girls' apartment, Felicity is flinging paint against a canvas and calling it "painting." Elena wonders whether she's doing it for class, and Felicity declares that she's "just painting." Maybe she's been studying Paul-Émile Borduas and les automatistes, because there's certainly nothing "planned" about her painting. Elena is mopey because she saw Tracy, and she says the hardest part of breaking up isn't breaking up; it's living with it. Someone's at the door. Why, it's Molly! Elena and Felicity greet her joyfully. They all hug and slop sugar on each other for a while. Molly assures them that she's fine and feels good being back in New York. She beams that she's "clean" for the first time in a year. However, she's grinning like a rabbit on crank, so I don't know if I believe her straight-arrow claims. And how about "owning" your mistakes? She hasn't even asked Elena whether her arm is healed or anything about the aftermath of the shooting that her boyfriend was responsible for. Instead, she asks how things are with Ben and Tracy. Elena and Felicity exchange looks, and Elena asks what's going on with Ben. Felicity mumbles, "N-Nothing. Well, I mean...It's nothing." Molly opens her suitcase to get out the present she has brought back for them: it's a jar of mud facial treatment. Elena grabs it and exclaims, "This is exactly what I need. Something to make me feel like I'm not the ugliest girl in school." Molly suggests that they get started on the facials right away. Elena excitedly agrees. What a dumb souvenir of England. She should have brought some Marks & Sparks bikkies or Lush goodies. And, just how did she get back into the country, anyway? Does the INS have a special on crackhead-gun-moll-student visas?
At the loft, Meghan is setting up the table with candles and crystals for a séance she's having later. Sean comes in yammering about "meteoroids," and she informs him that he can get "hemorrhoids from staying in the bathroom too long." He sighs that he was reading and asks if everything on the table is "for The Pickle?" She retorts, "I know you don't believe me, but I've had séances where I've contacted my dead dog." Sean begs her to agree that trying to contact the dog is stupid. She snaps that she doesn't call things he does stupid. He states that he always admits it when he does stupid things. Furthermore, he doesn't believe that it's possible to communicate with the dead. Meghan dismisses him as "so closed-minded." Sean prefers to think of his opinions as "normal." Ben wanders out of his room, and Sean invites him to participate in the "canine séance" later on. Ben declines the offer. Sean asks whether he's going to continue "moping around" because if so, he wants to know what his schedule is going to be. Ben mutters something and marches out the door. Sean says, "It's a real joy living with that guy, I'll tell you that." When my esteemed partner was growing up, his neighbours had a dog named Pickles and he once got in trouble for mocking the dog's name within earshot of the owners. I have to agree that it's a dumb name for a dog, dead or alive.
Felicity has completed several more spattered canvases, which are scattered about the apartment. Knoll walks in and notes all the paintings. He says that he's been trying to reach her, and she says she's been at the hospital with Elena. It seems that Molly's facial has had less than therapeutic effects. Molly blurts, "First I get her shot, then I, uh, kind of burn her eyes." Elena has burned corneas and is wearing patches over both eyes. Knoll freaks out and Felicity explains that Molly is going to walk Elena to her class. Knoll welcomes Molly back and Elena tells him, "You've got a really high voice!" Knoll whines, "Thanks." Elena explains that she can "hear a lot better without [her] eyes." After Elena and Molly have left, Knoll sticks his big Knollstrils into her business and asks Felicity whether she wants to "talk about it." She says she doesn't, and then she asks whether Avery has "been around." Knoll says that she hasn't, and adds, "For what it's worth, Ben seems pretty upset, too." He tells her that he tried to talk to Ben about it the other day, but couldn't because, "you know Ben." Felicity mutters, "Yeah." Maybe Ben didn't want to open up to Knoll, given Knoll's poor abilities to be a good confidant. Of course, Knoll would never find fault with himself, especially when he could blame something on Ben. Felicity answers the phone. It's Ben; he wants to meet her to talk. She agrees to see him and hangs up. Then she explains to Knoll that she has to go talk to Ben.
Felicity and Ben are sitting in a booth at Epstein Bar. He explains that he didn't use the tests that Avery had procured for him when he wrote his exam. She asks, "How'd that go?" He says he doesn't know, but that it was probably okay. She wonders why he didn't call her back sooner, and he says it's because he didn't know what to say to her. He rambles about still not knowing what to say to her, and that he's confused. Felicity wonders whether he's confused about Avery. Ben whispers, "I don't know. Maybe." Felicity suggests that they shouldn't be together if he's confused about Avery, and that perhaps he should "go and figure it out." He says "maybe" in a teeny tiny voice. She nods and they both sit there in silence.
Felicity returns to the apartment, hangs her bag up on peg in the hall, then stands there sobbing.
At Dean & Deluca, Ben is hard at work until Avery "Evilry" Swanson strolls in, sporting an all-winter-white outfit. She's wearing a turtleneck that looks like a cervical collar, with a sweater coat over it. When was she in a car accident? And why didn't that kill her? Is she like Rasputin? She pouts, "I just had the worst Econ test and it gave me a terrible headache. So, I need something with a lot of caffeine and something very sugary." Ah, poor widdle rich girl didn't like a big, bad test. What, she couldn't buy the answers for it in advance? For those of us without the mark of the beast emblazoned on our heads, caffeine and sugar would worsen a headache. I guess "666" refers to the number of milligrams of Demerol that constantly course through her bloodless veins. ["Actually, I find that caffeine helps me; the Excedrin I take has caffeine in it and it's the only thing that relieves my migraines." -- Wing Chun] Avery reiterates her invitation to Southampton. Ben replies that he "really can't." Miffed, she wonders whether he has "big plans." He says, "I just don't think I should go." She chirps, "Well, you can stay in the city if you want. I just thought you might like a place to go and clear your mind. And, I'm having people over so it's not just going to be you and me. [bats eyelashes] You'd have your own bedroom. [coyly laughs] You'd have your own bedroom." Oh, come on! Does she think Ben is going to buy this Miss Innocence act? Does she think he came down with the last rain? Ben, who is apparently dripping wet, laughs and asks, "What time are you leaving?" She beams, "What time can you be ready?" He says he can be ready at 4:00. She says she'll see him at four. He says, "Okay," and she bleats, "Thanks." When she's gone, Ben sighs and looks about nervously.
Molly escorts Elena into a classroom and sits her down in a desk. Elena whines about looking and feeling ridiculous. Molly assures her that no one is paying any attention to her. A male classmate, who looks like a modern-day version of Rerun from What's Happening? but with locks, walks up and asks if she's okay. Molly says that she's fine. Elena snarks, "I burned my corneas, not my vocal chords." She addresses Newrun, "I'm fine. Facial gone bad." Newrun, who seems to be wearing a fat suit, says, "That hurts, I know. I scratched mine once. At the beach. Y'know, I got some sand in my eye and I scratched it, like an idiot. Had to wear a patch." Elena asks whether he felt "stupid." Newrun says he felt "like a joke." She says she's sure it looked better on him. He looks down at her and states, "No, definitely not." Then he offers to take notes for her; he says he normally wouldn't do so, but that he sympathizes with her. Is this supposed to illustrate the competitiveness and callous disregard for other people's suffering that medical students demonstrate? Molly pipes up that she's there to take notes. Elena "would love" for Newrun to do that, since Molly is not pre-med. Well, if this is a pharmaceutical class, it's not like Molly is completely out of her depth. Newrun, who introduces himself as DeForest, says he'll get his books and sit by her. Elena proclaims him to be a "sweetheart" to Molly, who whines that she's getting Elena "sympathy." Elena says that she loved DeForest's warm voice, and that he made her feel "less freakish." She asks Molly if he's cute and Molly says, "Uh..." He's not hideous. He's got a baby face but he's wearing too many layers of clothing. Other than that, he has a certain charm. ["Sorry, I have to dock him some charm points since the actor who plays him starred in Good Burger." -- Wing Chun]
Felicity -- who has apparently reread Borduas's Refus global -- is really fighting the power and has produced several more paintings. For those of you unfamiliar with Borduas's manifesto, it can be broken down to the following: free your mind, and the rest will follow. Apply it to art or politics. It worked for En Vogue. Meghan saunters in and tells Felicity that she knows how she is feeling. Back in eleventh grade, Meghan was dumped by a guy and she had to get her second, third, and fourth tattoos to recover because the first tattoo was the guy's name. Felicity points out that she was not "dumped"; Ben merely wants some time on his own. Meghan thinks that Ben and all men "suck." When Felicity asks her to be clearer about her hostility, Meghan reveals that Ben has gone away to the Hamptons with Avery. Felicity immediately puts down her paintbrush and storms out of the room.
Avery and Ben arrive at the house that TV dinners built. The foyer looks like a sterile concourse of a train station. It's done all in white, which matches Avery's multi-sweatered look. She directs Ben to his room with its "own bathroom" and encourages him to use "all the stuff in there." Is she intimating that Ben needs to freshen up a bit? He gushes that the place "is amazing." He thanks her for inviting him, and she says that no thanks are necessary. She invites him to go for a swim with her, and he says he's just going to take a walk instead. I hope that pool is indoors, because given the way she's dressed, it can't be pool weather outside. They agree to meet up outside later. She prances away and he makes himself at home on a twenty-foot-long suede sofa.
Felicity is curled up on her bed, listening to music and weeping. She's got her hair in a ponytail and is wearing a sweatshirt with pyjama pants. She is having what my old pal Chatty and I describe as a "stinky pyjama day." ["Or, as I call it, 'a day.'" -- Wing Chun] These days are necessary whenever a break-up happens. Knoll barges in and demands to know how she's doing. Felicity gets up and runs into the bathroom, claiming that she's fine. Elena blindly walks by Felicity's door like Frankenstein and advises her to tell "Mr. High Voice" that she's been crying. Felicity sharply rebukes her from the bathroom. Knoll says that he's heard that Ben went away from Meghan. Felicity tearfully says that she doesn't want to talk about it. Knoll says he understands. Felicity blurts, "Y'know what the worst part is? There's, like, nothing that I can do." She sobs about all the work and things she has to do, but says she can't do anything because she can only think of Ben. She angrily explains to Knoll that she basically told Ben to go away and think because he said he was confused. She wonders whether "needing time" is a cover-up for men. Knoll neither confirms nor denies her speculation. Felicity cries, "I think Ben and I just broke up," and breaks down completely. Knoll hugs her and says, "You're going to get through this, you know that." That's not really the first thing I'd want to hear from a friend; however, since it's Knoll, I guess it's a good thing that he didn't take the opportunity to ask her out. He says that he knows "just what [she] need[s]." Heh, maybe I spoke too soon. She asks what he's talking about and he tells her to stay where she is and he'll go get it. Felicity flops back down on her bed.
At the loft, the séance has begun. Meghan, Molly, and Sean are seated around the table while Meghan chants for spirits to enter the room. Molly seems to be into it, while Sean tries to sneak a drink of Pepsi during the proceedings. Knoll walks in and asks what's going on. Meghan asks whether he wants to "be a fourth." Knoll mumbles, "Not a chance." Meghan orders him to leave, and he says he's on his way.
Elena is engaging in a "spirited" conversation of her own: she's on the phone with Deforest, flirting and confirming that he'll continue to take notes for her. There's a knock at the door and Elena bellows, "Could someone get that? I'm blind!"
Felicity answers the door. It's Knoll. He hands her a Nike shoebox and tells her that it's a "break-up kit." She rummages through the box and discovers a Toblerone bar, CDs, and coupons for movies and popcorn. She mutters, "You're trying to cheer me up." He says that he has to; someone has to do it and "it's not going to be Elena." Well, at least Elena is physically incapacitated because of an accident, not because she's having an existential crisis. But whatever, Knoll; you go ahead and think that you're a great guy. He's also included a recipe for his late aunt's beef stew. Felicity asks him to make it for her.
Chez Frozen Entrée, Avery and Ben are sitting beside a lap pool in the darkness. Her whiplash has not abated, but that doesn't stop her from telling Ben a story about her wearing a little bikini and running around the pool. He just stares at her. Then he thanks her again for the invitation. She says that he seems "frustrated and a little bit scared," and that she wants to do something to help. Ben grins and whispers, "I don't know." He announces that he's going to take a walk on the beach and she asks, "Alone?" He says yes, thanks her again, and leaves.
Back at the loft, Sean is idly playing with the candles and complaining that the séance is embarrassing. He thinks that they should have a fondue instead. Meghan appears to go into a trance and channels Sean's dead grandmother, "Gaboom," complete with a yenta-ish voice. Sean laughs until Meghan starts giving him directions to something she left for him in her old room. When Meghan comes out of the trance, she asks what happened. Sean murmurs that nothing happened.
In the girls' kitchen, Knoll is making the stew -- and a huge mess -- while chatting with Felicity. He promises it will be the best beef stew she's ever had. I'm not saying this just because I'm a vegetarian, but beef stew is not comfort food. ["Ohhh, I disagree. Chili? Shepherd's pie? Come on!" -- Wing Chun] Even when I ate meat, I hated stew. Wet meat never held any appeal for me. If Knoll had any sense, he'd be making Felicity macaroni and cheese or potato pancakes. Heavy-duty starches constitute comfort food. Doesn't he know anything? Felicity thanks him, and he tells her not to thank him until she's tried the stew.
Sean is on the phone to his parents. As he's telling them to look in the closet in his late grandmother's room, Meghan walks in. He tells her that she was incredible because it really was his grandmother's voice. Meghan confesses that she "made it up" because he was being "so smug...a pain in the ass." Sean gets angry and runs out.
Felicity tells Knoll that she thinks she "blew it" because she told Ben to go without telling him that she loved him. Knoll tries to pacify her by muttering that he's sure Ben knows that she cares about him. Um, nice try, Knoll. Felicity decides that she has to go the Hamptons to tell him. She phones Avery's parents' house to find out the exact location of the house in the Hamptons. Knoll tries to convince her to talk to Ben over the phone, but she insists that she must see him in person. Knoll tries to dissuade her from going with a few doomsday prognostications but she won't be deterred.
Ben calls the girls' apartment and gets Meghan on the phone. She won't tell him whether Felicity is there until she gives him a "piece of [her] mind." She rants about not liking Felicity when they first met and how she thought Felicity was a "loser, prissy, navel-gazing, self-centred, whiny, overly introspective little freak." She goes on to say that she eventually realized she was only partially right and that, for reasons unbeknownst to her, she now loves Felicity like she was Meghan's "weird, spastic, little baby sister." Furthermore, she promises to kill him if he hurts Felicity. Ben asks for the nineteenth time whether Felicity is there and Meghan replies, "No" and hangs up the phone. While she probably didn't do much to help the situation, it was a funny scene.
The swells are at play, Chez Frozen Entrée, all lounging about, or diving into the pool. Ben is in the kitchen getting himself a beer. Avery comes in and tells him that she can introduce him to her friends, or he can stay inside by himself. He says that he'll come out and meet people. She thrusts her bosom into his chest then kisses him. He sighs, and she coos that she's wanted to kiss him "for so long" -- in fact, since the Christmas party before James came in shooting up the place. She whispers that she's sorry and he tells her "it's okay." She goes outside and he takes a pull from his beer.
At the apartment, Elena is raving about the flowers DeForest has sent her. I think she means DeFlorist. Anyway, Molly gets a vase out to put the flowers into it. She says that she needs to tell Elena something. However, Elena won't let her get a word in as she asserts that it's nice to be involved with someone who doesn't care about looks. When she finally stops talking and asks what it was that Molly wanted to say, Molly chickens out and just offers to accompany Elena to the doctor when she gets her patches removed.
In the Hamptons, Ben has emerged from the house, and Evilry rushes to introduce him as "the man who saved [her] life" to all the Biffs and Muffys in attendance. The driveway, which is more like a parking lot, is full of Shelby Cobras, Corvettes, BMW Z3 roadsters, Ducati-ish motorcycles, and various Lexi (or is Lexuses the plural?). Anyway, a brown Plymouth Volare, circa 1978, pulls in. It's Felicity. So, she's a dependable, old Homer Simpson-mobile while everyone else there is a lean, mean, driving machine. I get it. She walks past the waterfall and up to the front door. Then, all of sudden she's walking to the back yard, up to a huge gate of metal bars. She does the 'I'm-on-the-outside-looking-in' thing for a few seconds, sees Ben and Avery, then turns on her heel. She walks a few feet away, and then returns to the gate and lets herself in. She marches up to Ben and asks to speak with him. Avery purrs, "Hi, Felicity." She says hi back and walks away with Ben. Avery pouts at the table.
Away from the crowd, Felicity tells Ben that she's also confused, so she understands how he feels, plus she knows that he and Avery have shared something that she'll never understand. Then she says that she thinks they can work through their problems, and that she loves him. On the verge of tears, she says he can take all the time he needs, but that he has to know that she loves him. They hug. He says he can't believe she drove all the way out there. She laughs and admits it was "kinda crazy." He whispers, "I wish I could say something to make it better. I wish I could say that I'm not confused anymore. But I can't say that." Felicity nods through her tears. She says she "had to try" and she doesn't regret going there. With that, she's gone.
Sean is waiting for Meghan outside a classroom. He tells her that his parents found an envelope containing two thousand dollars in cash in the closet in Gaboom's old room. Meghan thinks he's pulling her leg, and he insists that he isn't. He tells her to buy the "red patent-leather boots" that she's been wanting, to put them on her credit card; he'll pay her back. Meghan is thrilled and declares him "the best boyfriend ever." She wonders whether she really was able to talk to her late dog, Pickles.
Avery and Ben arrive back at the loft. They're laughing and talking about the weekend. He thanks her again and says he had a good time. Okay, enough with the thanking already. ["Hey, he's Canadian. He's bred to be polite." -- Wing Chun] She asks whether he regrets going. He doesn't really answer because he's busy reading the letter he got, which states that he got a B- on his Poli Sci exam. When Avery finds out he got a B- she says he should have used the tests she procured for him. Ben doesn't really understand how she could think that B- is a bad grade. The scales have begun to fall from his eyes.
Elena is excitedly getting ready for a date with Deforest. She doesn't understand why Molly isn't more enthusiastic. Elena compares the evening to The Dating Game; under her breath, Molly says, "It's a special version of it." When she hears the door buzzer, Elena runs to answer it. She opens the door and at first doesn't know who DeForest is. He notices that she's "got [her] eyes back" and compliments them. Elena fumbles around while checking him out, and finally manages, "You've got a wonderful voice." He says that he'll let her off the hook since she agreed to go with out before she knew what he looked like. Elena frowns and comments, "I should be insulted by that." She insists that they go out, and says that she'll treat. He says that might be a "bad move." ["Aw, 'cause he's a big fattie and he'll eat until he barfs and then eat some more. That's what all fat people do, you see." -- Wing Chun] Elena laughs, turns around, and gives Molly a weird smile; Molly gives her one right back.
Knoll walks into Felicity's room. He announces that Molly called and filled him in. Felicity sighs that it didn't go well. Knoll offers once again to make the stew, and Felicity admits that she's hungry.
In the kitchen, Felicity and Knoll are discussing people and incidents that happened in Felicity's first year at school. Knoll asks whether she likes the food, and she declares it to be good. Knoll wonders if he can "talk to [her] about something." While he's dithering, Ben walks in and wants to talk to Felicity. Knoll is crestfallen when Felicity follows Ben out of the room, and he leaves the kitchen.
Ben tells Felicity that it was "amazing" that she drove all the way to Southampton. She asks "what happened" up there. He replies that "nothing happened," except that he realized he didn't want to be up there -- he wanted to be with her. He uses his litmus test on her, which is his Poli Sci grade. Felicity passes the test when she states that she's happy for him. He says, "I'm so sorry I made you go through all that. Thank you for coming up there. Thank you for everything." She asks if he's sure and he says he is. They embrace. Keri Russell is one of the few stars of a show who is actually the best actor on it.
Sean is sitting and eating at the counter in the loft. Meghan walks in sporting her new red platform boots. Sean compliments them. Meghan beams and suggests that they have another séance later on. He doesn't think there's any point in doing that, and admits that he made up the story about his parents finding the money. Meghan asks about the boots, and he claims that he's not going to pay for them because he teaching her a lesson. He admonishes her not to mess "with the spirit of Gaboom." She laughs that she can accept that lesson because she used his credit card to pay for the boots. They both laugh.
Felicity goes to the loft to talk to Knoll and thank him for all he did. He feigns happiness that she won't be needing the break-up kit. She says she doesn't know what she'd do without him and he says the same about her. She leaves and he closes the door sadly. As much as I hate Knoll, I have to say that Scott Foley does a good job of playing such a moron. He did seem genuinely wounded when Felicity came over to dash his hopes.
We end with a montage of scenes: Sean and Meghan with a fondue pot; DeForest and Elena at a restaurant; Knoll and Molly sitting down to plates of stew; Ben and Felicity in a booth at Epstein Bar. A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and all that rot.