Previously on Felicity: Sean had a sore nut; Felicity was really, really sorry for spending the night with Randy; Knoll saw a photo of a scantily clad Richard with his arm around Jason.
At Dean & Deluca, Javier tells Knoll that he thinks his Humanities professor has a little "crunch" on him, because she gives him sultry looks (which he demonstrates) whenever she says "oral exams." Knoll is rather nonplussed and tells Javier, "Say you had a friend and you found out he was gay..." Javier excitedly asks if he's talking about Ben. Knoll reflects for a moment and then says he isn't. Javier is somewhat deflated by the news. Heh, Ben is pretty crunch-worthy, indeed. Knoll says that he isn't going to mention who he's talking about and Javier matter-of-factly says, "Oh, it's Richard." Knoll protests that it isn't Richard and wonders if he should tell his "friend" that he knows he's gay. Javier advises, "Don't say a thing to Richard." Knoll protests some more and Javier gives him a 'yeah, right' look and continues, "When he's ready to come out of that walk-in closet of his, he will, on his own reconnaissance, reeking of cedar." Knoll thinks his "friend" might be worried that he won't be accepted if he comes out. Javier suggests telling Richard, or, uh, Knoll's "friend" that Knoll will be his friend, "no matter what."
Docuventary clip: Knoll is on the street, explaining to Sean why he went to talk to Javier. Knoll says that when Richard showed up, he started trying to convince Knoll that he was straight, again.
Knoll and Richard are seated at a table and Richard begins telling him about a girl he's known for a long time and how he wants to take their relationship to another level. He mentions how smart she is and her terrific "boombas." Knoll listens impassively then he tells Richard that he is a friend and he always will be. Richard wants to know why Knoll has been acting so strangely, so Knoll blurts out that he knows that Richard is gay because he saw the photo in Jason's room. Richard gets very angry, denies that he's gay, and stomps away. Javier comes by the table, says, "I told you," and gives Knoll a backhander to the shoulder before walking away.
At the loft, Sean is gazing at himself in the mirror. Meghan asks when his appointment is and he tells her it's at 3:15 and that he's meeting Felicity in twenty minutes. Meghan wants to know if he's nervous and he responds that he isn't because he likes Felicity. Meghan won't play along and asks whether he wants her to go along with him. He claims that he isn't nervous because the surgery is only exploratory and that he'll be okay. Ben comes in and Sean asks him to do a five-minute interview. Ben refuses and skulks to his room. Sean complains that Ben has been like that for a week. Meghan asks, "How would you feel if you saw a picture of me on the Internet, naked and drunk? You wouldn't be surprised?" Sean says, "Not really, no." Meghan says, "You'd kinda like it." Sean grins and agrees. Meghan tells him to have a good appointment and kisses him goodbye.
Docuventary clip: Felicity has an easel set up in the spacious living room of her apartment. She's working on a drawing, which so far consists of a man who is running. She explains to Sean that she's doing it for an exhibition and that it will be for sale. Sean mentions that she seems distracted and wonders if it's about Ben. Felicity doesn't want to answer that question because she thought the interview was going to be about the exhibit. She relents and explains that Ben asked for some space and she's trying to give it to him.
At Dean & Deluca, things are hopping and Ben and Javier are working behind the counter. Ben wants Javier to ask Felicity to refill a particular blend of coffee because he's really busy. It sounds like he's asking for "Soho Blend" but the closed captioning indicates that it is "Subtle Blend." Not being much of a coffee drinker, I have no idea what he's saying. Maybe it's his pesky Canadian accent that's throwing me. Javier refuses to be a go-between and tells him to talk to Felicity himself. Then he announces that he's taking a break and he gives Ben some snaps right in his face.
Ben enters the storeroom where Felicity is putting away stock. She's struggling with a heavy box and Ben offers to help her. She asks him if he wants to go out for dinner that night and he replies that he'll be playing basketball with Sean. Felicity wonders whether Sean will be up to it after his doctor's appointment and the discussion devolves into the nothing-happened-but-you-spent-the-night-with-him-she-said-he-said argument, again. Eventually, Ben leaves and Felicity stands there with her yap hanging open.
Javier is describing, to Richard, a job he had at a bakery in Spain. One day he had a cake made up with "Your son is gay" written on it and he planned to present it to his parents after dinner because if they freaked and kicked him out, he'd at least have cake to eat. Richard demands, "Javier, why are you telling me this?" Javier continues, "Listen, so that night, I'm really nervous, you know, all throughout dinner, then finally it's time for dessert. I go to the kitchen, I get the box, I put it on the table, I open it up with grand flourish, and the cake says, 'Happy 83rd Birthday Maria." Richard interrupts, "Why are you telling me a gay story?" Javier says, "Ah, okay. Anyway, P.S., Maria Mendoza that night had a stroke. God bless her soul. I tell my parents flat out that I'm gay. And they're like, 'Uh, duh?' but in Spanish. It has a different meaning. And they're like, 'Jorta, we love you exactly the way you are.'" Richard is increasingly perturbed and Javier tells him that everyone loves him. Richard gets up to leave and Javier shouts after him to not be angry at Knoll.
Docuventary clip: Sean runs through traffic and almost gets hit by a taxi to cross the street to where Elena and Tracy are kissing goodbye. Tracy is going with his church group to build a Habitat for Humanity house in Yonkers. He tells Sean that Elena has offered to do his share of a Sociology project that is due on Monday. Tracy claims that he'd do the same for her as they nuzzle each other. Sean says that they're "so in love," which prompts Elena to get a sick look on her face. Hey, Godboy, what's with getting your girlfriend to do your homework? That's like cheating, isn't it?
Cut to Elena getting her toenails painted by Molly. Elena wonders aloud whether she's in love. Molly asks whether she is and Elena answers that "half of [her] is." Okay, insert crude joke about whether it's the half that eats. Elena that the other half of her "is in trouble" because she's interested in Finn, a.k.a. Towel Boy. Molly muses that the waiting-until-marriage thing must be really frustrating. Elena claims that she'd still feel that way even if she were sleeping with Tracy. There's the sound of a door buzzer and Molly gets up to answer it. It's Finn, and he wants to know what Elena's plans are for the night. She stammers that even though she led him on before, she's seeing someone and can't get involved with him. Finn drops the bomb that he is Tracy's Sociology partner and he wants to know when they'll be getting together to begin work.
Felicity walks out of a school building and spies Randy sitting outside at a table. She goes over to his table and he says, "Uh oh. I already told my brothers that nothing happened." Geez, I thought that I had big white teeth and a pronounced overbite. That old Randy could almost eat an apple through a picket fence. Plainly, Eliza Dushku from Buffy the Vampire Slayer got all the looks in that family. Anyway, Felicity explains that Ben saw the email and is convinced that she and Randy had sex. She begs him to speak to Ben about what really happened. Randy is skeptical that Ben would even listen to him, but he eventually agrees after Felicity desperately blathers about loving Ben and not knowing what else to do.
At the loft, Richard barges in and bellows at Knoll, "You talked to Javier? And told him I'm gay?" Meghan, who is at the counter, deadpans, "That's a shock." Richard shouts, "I'm not gay!" Knoll asks, "How do you explain the picture?" Dude, getting your photo taken with a homosexual doesn't make you gay. If you're looking for evidence, how about the fact that Richard worships you and seems to hate women? Richard explains that he and Jason worked together in Florida. He admits, "Maybe Jason had feelings for me, but I did not return the sentiment, not in any way." Jason had the hots for both Richard and Knoll? The hell? Clearly, he's never met Ben. Meghan pipes up that she thinks that Richard is being "very defensive." Knoll tells her to leave, but Richard says she can stay. Richard claims that he's not gay, he's a virgin. Hey, that's not a mutually exclusive thing, y'know. There are gay virgins, too. He confesses that he's never even kissed a girl, which Knoll seems to find hard to believe. Dude, have you two met? Richard says that he's been afraid to tell anyone because he thought people would laugh, which is, of course, exactly what Meghan is doing. Knoll sharply reprimands her and Richard says, "That's it, I'm outta here," as he runs out. Meghan keeps laughing then says, "I'm sorry, I wish I felt compelled to apologize, but I don't."
Felicity gets off the elevator at the apartment and runs into Molly, who tells her that Meghan is throwing a dinner to celebrate Sean's good news. She invites Felicity, but warns her that Ben may be there. Felicity agrees to come, regardless.
Ben is back sitting at the bar at Epstein Bar, chain-drinking. Randy approaches him and asks if he has a minute to talk. Ben smirks and says that he doesn't have a minute, so Randy requests thirty seconds of his time. Randy says that nothing happened when Felicity slept in his bed, and Ben gets belligerent, puts Randy in a chokehold, and drops him to the floor. All we can see is Ben flailing away while kneeling on the ground with the sounds of punches being thrown in the background. Do you think Ben's anger and all the time he's spending in bars mean anything?
Finn arrives at the apartment and Elena reluctantly lets him in.
At the loft, Meghan, Sean, Felicity, and Knoll are sitting around eating what looks to be Chinese food, from the boxes. They're laughing and having a gay old time. Oops, not "gay," because Richard isn't there. Molly tells a horror story about her uncle dropping dead from some kind of nert trouble. Make with the gaiety: here comes Richard giving Sean a thumbs-up and saying, "Good news about your nut." He takes Knoll aside to inform him that he's not going to be a "drama queen" because being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. Knoll points out that Molly is there but Richard claims to be over her, and that it doesn't mean he's gay.
At the girls' apartment, Finn confesses to Elena that he has a dilemma: he doesn't want to hurt Tracy, but he still likes her.
Richard is now seated and eating when he tells Sean about his cousin who thought he had an infection "down there" and ended up losing both his "gumballs." Sean's had enough of Molly's and Richard's Tales from the Clipt and gets up to go outside and get some air. Meghan tells Richard to shut up but Sean leaves anyway. There's a phone call from Elena, who's calling for Felicity to whine about how hard it is to resist Finn. Knoll makes small talk and says that he met "the perfect girl" and is going to fix her computer. Richard cuts him off to apologize to Molly for the way he acted with her before. She tells him not to worry about it because she remembers what it was like to be a virgin. Richard yells at Knoll, who says he didn't tell, so Richard yells at Meghan. Ben arrives home and Felicity hands the phone to Meghan and runs after Ben. When Elena begins to whinge, Meghan bellows, "God, who cares? Just sleep with him! Geez, you're in college." Elena continues to moan and groan and Meghan gets and takes another call. It's Sean's doctor calling to reschedule his surgery.
Felicity barges into Ben's room with a declaration that he can't keep treating her "like this." He thinks it's funny that she should say that to him. She finds out that Randy ran into Ben and his fists at Epstein Bar and asks whether Ben hurt him. Ben flips and smashes the lamp and shouts, "Don't defend him! Don't start defending him to me! All right?!?" Felicity's mouth flaps open a few times and then she slams out of the room.
Meghan goes outside to find Sean sitting on the front step. She tells him that the doctor called about the surgery. Sean states that the doctor doesn't know what he's talking about and that he wants another opinion. Meghan reminds him that he got two opinions and both were warnings not to "screw around." Sean says he's not going to have the operation because he is too young and healthy. It seems to me those are two very good reasons in favour of having the surgery, but what do I know? Meghan launches into a speech about not wanting Sean to end up a story she tells about loving someone who had a chance to get better and didn't take it. She tells him to wake up because he can't dream that he's going to get better like he dreams about business success. Through her tears, she begs him to have the operation as a favour to her, if he can't think of any other reason to go through with it. Sean realizes that he's been a dink and they fall into each other's arms. It is a very tender moment between them.
Docuventary clip: at the loft, Sean turns the camera on himself to discuss his surgery and the fact that he'll return from the hospital with "fifty percent less testicles" than he currently has. He thinks this could be one of the last Thursday nights he ever sees. Don't worry about it, Sean. You've always been ballsy enough for ten men.
It's the morning after and Elena and Finn wake up after crashing on separate beds. Elena wakes him up and they kiss fairly passionately.
Felicity is on the phone in the kitchen saying, "He didn't stay at the hospital? Uh, I'll call back later." Elena stumbles out and confesses to kissing Finn, which causes Felicity to catch a few flies before telling her about Ben and Randy's fight.
Ben walks into the loft carrying a basketball and Sean asks him to sit down for a few minutes. Sean gives him his grandfather's pen because he wants Ben to have it in case Sean doesn't pull through the surgery. Ben tries to refuse the pen but finally accepts it after some cajoling. Sean then inquires whether Ben will be going to the art exhibition that night. When Ben replies that he won't be going, Sean gets mad and says that he can see that Ben is angry and out of control. Ben tries to defend his reasons for beating up Randy, and Sean demands the pen back. Ben says that he never wanted the pen anyway. Sean points out that Ben is taking out his anger on Felicity and that he shouldn't throw away their relationship over one drunken night. He says he wants to hide from his problems like Ben is, but instead he's going to reach out to his close friends. He offers the pen again, and Ben takes it.
Knoll returns to Tyra Banks's apartment to fix her computer. Once he's inside, he starts grilling her for her personal stats. By the way, she's a junior and dance major who just transferred from Florida State. She leaves the room after the twenty questions and slips off her top, while she's unknowingly in Knoll's line of vision. When she moves out of sight, Knoll gets all horndoggy and stands up to continue his perving and knocks a glass of something onto her computer. Smoove move, dude. He panics and tries to clean up the laptop.
At the gallery, Felicity, Molly, Elena, and Richard are wandering around together until Richard notes that Felicity's work has not been sold yet. Meghan and Sean arrive, as does Tracy (separately), which seems to surprise Elena. Before they can be reunited, Sean asks for a word with Tracy. Meghan and Elena head for the bar. Felicity moans to Molly that she wishes she and Ben "weren't in such a weird place." Molly gives her a hug. Ben arrives to see Felicity being introduced by Professor Morton to some of the professor's friends. They chitchat, and Felicity is distracted by the phantom sight of Ben, over the professors' shoulders.
Sean questions Tracy about the nature of God and asks where Sean can find Him. Tracy gets all Reverend Lovejoy and intones, "There's a reason this is happening to you. It's like an alarm's going off and you can't hit the snooze button." He thinks that if Sean pulls through, he won't have to find God, because God will have already found him. Granted, I'm no Judeo-Christian theologian, but, huh? Sean doesn't seem to get it either, but he just nods instead of saying, "cram it, churchy!"
Sean is in a hospital bed with Meghan by his side. When he comes around, she kisses him and tells him he looks okay. Richard hands him a bag of peanuts, or "replacement nuts," as he calls them, and he claims that they wouldn't give them if his surgery hadn't gone so well. Sean vows to kill him when he's well. General merriment ensues from the whole gang, who have gathered around the bed.
Molly and Richard are out on the street, walking and talking. He mumbles about what constitutes something scary, and then she asks if it's true that he's never kissed a girl. He starts to complain and she shuts him up by planting a kiss on him. In an extreme close-up, Richard's profile looks very much like Hugh Grant's. Believe me, this realization does nothing to endear him to me. Molly tells him to not to get any ideas and that they're just friends. Richard is stunned and mutters that he can't move.
Elena goes over to Finn's place to tell him to forget about their kiss because she has a boyfriend and before you know it, they're in a clinch and the door has closed behind them.
Meghan, Felicity, and Ben return to the loft and Meghan says that it will be Ben's job to help Sean go to the bathroom when he gets home. Ben says he won't do it so Meghan says they'll have to hire someone because she has to draw the line somewhere. Oh Meghan, of all the things you have to do for someone when you love him or her, that is not even the most distasteful, but you'll find that out one day. Anyway, she leaves, and Ben tells Felicity that he wants things "to go back to the way they were." Felicity says she wants that too, and she asks him to believe her. He doesn't say anything, so she goes to pack up her books and she notices her drawing is in the loft. Ben tells her that he bought it because it's just like him, "running into walls, like an idiot," and that he loves it. They have a tearful reconciliation and he tells her that she's the only person he can trust.
Knoll is still at Tyra's place and he's about to set up her email account. She has to enter her password, which she looks up in her personal organizer. She gets a phone call and leaves the room. Knoll works at the computer and then he snoops in her organizer for her password.
At the loft, Felicity tells Ben a few things she wants from the store and he leaves to go get them. When he's on the street, a bunch of frat boys jump Ben and beat him senseless while Randy looks on.