Previously on Felicity: There's a flood in the dorm; the whole gang ends up staying at the loft; Ben interrupts Felicity and Greg's date and ends up getting punched in the face for his trouble.
This week's episode picks up where it left off in the last episode. Felicity has just left Ben on the floor of Epstein Bar and has chased Greg out into the street. She starts apologizing for Ben and rambling about how she can't believe that he crashed their date. Greg stops her blathering by planting a deep kiss on her. After they break away, he looks into her eyes and says, "This isn't going to work." She whinges, "Greg, Greg." He accuses her of going out with him only because he is not Ben, which he thinks is "unfair." This is the same Greg who thought it was fair to sabotage his girlfriend's election campaign so I don't think he has a firm grasp on the meaning of the word. Felicity claims that she is completely over Ben but Greg doesn't believe her and he suggests that it is obvious that both she and Ben want each other. Greg walks away, leaving Felicity standing on the street, with her mouth hanging open.
At Dean & Deluca, Javier asks Ben for a favour, which has to do with Samuel and which is a big surprise. Javier notices Ben's unkempt appearance and asks what is wrong with his hair. Ben tells him about crashing Felicity's date and getting decked by Greg. Javier's reaction is classic, he says, "That is so romantic. Oh, let me give you one big promise. You on the floor is not the final chapter to this luscious story." Ben reminds him that he was about to ask for a favour. Javier says, "Please forgive to me if start to cry right now, but I'm thinking of asking Samuel to marry me." Ben says, "Wow." Javier tells Ben that he wants him to help pick put a ring. Ben and I are both very surprised. Ben is sweet but dumb and not the ideal candidate to help with ring shopping. However, Javier thinks otherwise and says to Ben, "You getting punched in the face and me buying a ring, romance is really in the air, is it not?" Ben just smiles weakly.
Felicity, Julie, and Elena are at the loft, pumping up air mattresses using those weird cylinder pumps that I thought were only used for blowing up balloons. The way the pumps are positioned and are being used, suggests a rather more lewd activity than inflating air mattresses. After Elena asks, Felicity tells the other two about her date the night before. She divulges that Greg dumped her but that she's not even thinking about it. Julie asks, "How can you get dumped and not even think about it?" They continue pumping and Elena tells them that Tracy is a virgin who wants to wait until he gets married to have sex and she ends her tale by saying, "Top that." Julie tells them about Sean's declaration of love. Elena asks Julie if she likes Sean but Julie says she doesn't know. They all resume their pumping with a resigned air because it looks like they'll be pumping their own mattresses for a while to come. If you know what I mean.
Knoll is closing the door to a classroom when Ruby runs up, apologizing for oversleeping and missing the class. Knoll says that all she missed was his "breathtaking summary of Camus' theory of the absurd." That, I would pay to hear. Ruby asks if she can get a summary of the summary some time. Knoll wastes no time beginning his daily prying into Ruby's life and asks how it went with Wade since he knows they were out late. She says it was okay and that they spent the entire time "at the Empire Diner, totally catching up." Knoll advises her that if she wants "to invite him over to the loft tonight, [she] should feel totally comfortable doing that." Ruby thanks him but claims she would prefer to stay in and relax with a movie. She invites him to join her and he accepts. How nice of Knoll to encourage her to invite guests over to a place that they're both guests at and how nice of Ruby to unilaterally decide that she's going to commandeer the television and VCR to watch a movie. Houseguests and fish really do start to stink after three days.
Elena arrives at her apartment and Tracy meets her at the door. He is dressed in his working clothes and gas mask and he is reluctant to let her in. He offers to go in and get whatever she wants but she insists upon going in herself. He asks her not to get mad before she enters. She goes in and freaks out at the mess. Vincent keeps repeating, "I'm okay, it's all good." Elena yells out, "Tracy is a dead man!"
Felicity and Ben bump into each other when she is returning to the loft and he is leaving it. They exchange heys and he heads off down the hall. Felicity calls after him and asks to talk to him "for a second." She tells him that she shouldn't have left him on the floor the night before even if she was upset. He says that she was right about him only being interested in chasing her and that it's one of her patterns. Felicity is astounded at this revelation and while she tries to play it off, it is clear that she's stunned by it. Ben leaves.
In the bathroom, Felicity whines to Meghan that she is depressed and confused and she needs to forget about Ben. She wants Meghan to take her out. Meghan flatly refuses and Felicity persists with, "I don't know what it is you do every night or where you go, but you obviously live in this world, this whole other different world where weird, potentially exciting, distracting things happen and tonight I really need to go to that world, that weird place. Please, I'm begging you." Calling someone an oddball of the highest degree is not usually the way to convince her to do you favour, however, in this case it works and Meghan agrees. I can't tell for sure, but it looks like Meghan has a bar code tattoo on her chest. Felicity convinces Julie and Elena to join her by begging and whining. Then we get a montage of them in the bathroom getting ready and trying out various different outfits. Interestingly, the closed captioning indicates that the song playing is "Mirror in the Bathroom" but it has been replaced by something that sounds like an Apollo 417 song.
There's a knock at the door, and Felicity, who has decided to wear a red print strapless-handkerchief-pseudo-tube-top-affair and red pants, answers it and lets Javier in. When he sees her outfit, he exclaims, "Look at you, my little hot tamale. My goodness, what, are you painting the town all different colours tonight?" Then he glances around the loft and says, "Jesus, Mary, and San José, this is living! You know, I work so hard all my life to live in a hovel, and you kids are living like the queens of England." Felicity explains that, "It's Sean's and it's rent-control [sic]." That's funny, I thought that Sean had a mortgage. Elena and Julie appear and Javier exclaims over their outfits, especially Elena's added height, and tells them that he's there to see Ben, who has agreed to help Javier out with a "wee task." Julie informs him that Ben went out for a run and that he'll be back soon. Javier asks where they are going and when he finds out they're going to the "T-Bone Club" he reacts a bit shocked. Meghan passes by him and he doesn't say much to explain his reaction. Felicity is the last one out the door and he says, "Have fun, and um, I hope you're packing some heat." Felicity says, "Some what?" and Javier just shuts the door in her face. Tee hee!
The scene opens with a shot of an alley outside of a club doorway, with a bunch of people lined up behind a velvet rope and some bouncers. One of the bouncers lets a few of the various club kids through and warmly greets them. Meghan says, "How are you?" and breezes past. The bouncer returns the rope to its stand when Felicity, Julie, and Elena get to the front of the line, and they call after Meghan who has met up with some guy she knows. She points them out to get them admitted. Inside the club, there's some non-descript dance music playing and the dance floor and mezzanine is full of what the show's executives probably think are really edgy-looking characters, but they look kind of unintentionally retro and pseudo-gothy. There's even an old, fat guy with long hair, wearing an eighteenth-century long, cutaway coat. I believe he is a former member of the band, Paul Revere and the Raiders. Dude, the dinosaurs went thataway. Meghan leads the group and tells them to stay where they and not to eat anything anyone gives them, then she walks away. The other three look very earnest about staying put. I think Meghan was just playing with them though. Elena makes a rule for the night that they won't think about Ben, Tracy, or Sean. Meghan heads to the bar with the guy from the line, whose name is Earl. She greets the bartender and orders a Bonzai, actually she orders seven of them and tells the bartender to put it on her friend's tab. Meghan hands out the drinks, which are lime green cocktails, and tells the gang to drink lots of them. Felicity asks what they are and Meghan responds, "Bonzai Demons, and if you have to ask, don't even drink it." They clink their glasses, hoot, and take little sips.
At the loft, Knoll and Ruby are cuddled under a blanket on the sofa. Ruby says, "It's so romantic," and Knoll says, "What?" Ruby is referring to whatever schmaltzy movie they're watching which is about a couple who has been through an ordeal. They talk about the movie but they're really talking about themselves. As they move in to kiss, Sean comes home and joins them on the sofa because he really loves that movie. He gets under their blanket (even though it is probably his blanket) and starts eating their chips. When he gets settled, he says, "Is there any dip?" Yeah Sean, you're sitting beside two kinds of dip.
Javier and Ben are sitting at a table in the window of Dean & Deluca. Javier shows Ben a ring in catalogue and asks him if it is touch. Javier isn't sure that the ring is really suitable for Samuel. Ben says, "It might be a little..." Javier says, "What? Brazen? Garish? Chintzy?" Ben concurs that it might be a little chintzy and Javier agrees. He suggests that Ben look through a few of his catalogues for something for Felicity. Ben informs him that he has given up on getting together with Felicity because he is sick of making a fool of himself and sick of her turning him down. Javier says, "Benjamin, open up your squinty little eyes that are so cute, no, she turned you down, because, she, uh, it's out of fear, y'know. She loves you." Ben counters with, "Tell that to Greg." Javier informs him that Felicity and Greg have broken up, in fact that Greg dumped her, "like a sweet hot potato, a yaahm." Ben mopes for a few seconds then Javier tells him that they're going to get going. Ben asks where they're going but neither he nor we get an immediate answer.
Over at the T-Bone Club, Meghan is dancing on top of a table, while Felicity, Elena, and Julie watch. Felicity says, "How come all of a sudden, I like, worship her?" Julie raises her glass and squeals, "To Meghan's dancing!" Felicity says, "Here's to Earl!" and Elena toasts, "Here's to girls' night out!" Meghan comes back to the table to tell Felicity that Earl wants to dance with her. Felicity gets up to dance and says, "Watch and learn," before heading onto the dance floor with Earl. They jump up onto a table and do what could be loosely described as dancing.
Out in the alley, the bouncers are letting in a few people. One of them says, "Please, only two at a time, a man and a woman together." Javier and Ben push to the front of the line. Javier pleads with the bouncer to let them in but the bouncer just stares at him stonily. Ben wants to go but Javier is not ready to give up. Finally the bouncer says, "If you're a guy, you have to have a date to get in." Javier gives him the stink-eye then turns to Ben and kisses him full on the lips which leaves Ben a little gobsmacked, so to speak. He turns back to the bouncer and says, "Tuesday is our fifth month anniversary." The bouncer smirks, then lets them in. They enter the club and Ben wonders what they are doing there. Javier implores him to "keep his shoes on," and that he'll tell him in a minute. He spots Felicity and points her out to Ben. He just stands there gawking at her until Elena finally sees him and points him out to Felicity.
Javier ushers Ben and Felicity out to the alley so that they can talk. Javier leaves them to go back inside and get "one of those Bonzai Demons. They're fahntastic." Felicity tells Ben that she's glad that he apologized to Greg. Ben admits that telling Richard about Greg was "a screwed up thing to do" and he deserved to get punched by Greg. Ben, you had me until the "deserved to get punched" part. Ben says that if he had known that they were going to break up, he would have hit Greg back, which makes Felicity laugh.
Inside at the bar, Javier is indeed having a Bonzai and he is chatting with a drag queen in a blonde wig. Javier asks her, "So, how's marketing?" Blondie replies, "You know how it is, the daily grind," to which Javier comments, "Tell me about it." No, tell me about it. I live it. Anyway, Meghan arrives says hi to "Bijou," who, with total false friendliness, says hey to her. Meghan asks Javier where Felicity is and he tells her that she's outside with Ben. When she stomps off to "break that up," Bijou looks at her with total disdain then says to Javier, "I don't know what her problem is." Javier says, "She scares me."
Ben and Felicity are still out in the alley, and he tells her that what he said at the loft, about only being interested in chasing her, is not true. Before Felicity can comment, Meghan comes out and tells her that they're leaving and going to Earl's. She grabs Felicity by the arm and the rest of the gang follows. Ben and Felicity promise to meet up with each other later at the loft.
The gang, plus Earl, plus a woman named Lulu, enter a bodega. Earl is pontificating about the "self-replicating capabilities of nanobots." Meghan explains that "this is stuff that Heinlein and Asimov have talked about this for forty years." Neither Elena, nor Julie, nor Felicity seems very moved by Meghan's explanation. Earl and Lulu walk away, with Earl still blabbing. Meghan tells them that Earl and Lulu used to go out, like that adds further explication to the situation. Julie declares that she needs candy and she and Elena walk away. Felicity thanks Meghan for taking her away from Ben. Meghan picks up a huge can of instant Nestea mix and says, "No problem." Felicity can't let it go and she says that she knows that Meghan thinks their relationship is "ridiculous" but unless she's ever liked someone forever, she can't know what it's like. Meghan informs her that she too, has a Ben. Felicity thinks she is referring to Earl, but she is actually referring to Greg. Arrgghh! I thought we'd seen the back of him! As luck would have it, Greg walks into the store at that moment. Meghan thinks his arrival is a sign, so she decides to hit on him. Felicity hides behind a display while Meghan walks up and says hi to Greg. She launches into a story about how they knew each other as children and how they got married in a sandbox. Greg can't believe it and Meghan reminds him of how she used to be fat, and it all comes back to him. Meghan asks, "So, you wanna go find a sandbox?" Greg laughs and says, "That's cute." Meghan makes it quite clear that she's very serious but Greg says, "I'm sorry, but I-I-I'm not interested, but thank you." Meghan tries to play off the rejection but comes out with a lame line that he'll be hearing from her lawyer regarding alimony. How cringe-inducing. Greg leaves and Meghan walks back to where Felicity is hiding. Felicity looks sympathetic and Meghan informs her that it is her (Felicity's) turn to take her out. Felicity mentions that she knows of a party that is going on. Meghan says, "Take me there."
It turns out that the party is at Epstein Bar (where else) and it is another electoral victory party for Richard who is there with a cheroot in his mouth. Meghan and Felicity are dancing and the closed captioning says that it is to "Love Roller Coaster," which is a kick-ass song, but sadly another song entirely is playing. Felicity and Meghan go back to their booth and Richard follows and says, "Hey, gals! Yeah, good to see you come out for another Richard is president night. Which one of you lovely ladies wants to do a little dirty dancing with the new president, huh?" Richard does a little of his "white man's overbite" gyrating and Meghan and Felicity laugh and politely blow him off. Before boogying away, he reassures them that "beneath the aura of power, it's still just me, Richard." They start drunkenly congratulating themselves on what a great year they've had and how they can have a "kick-ass time without guys." Meghan proclaims that they're "sisters, doing it for themselves, like Aretha Franklin." Okay, in actuality, you two are the antithesis of Aretha Franklin, with your skinny, white, rhythmless, never-had-to-fight-against-the-tyranny-of-Berry-Gordy-dominated-Motown asses, but I get that you aspire to be like Aretha Franklin. Yeah, you go on with your bad selves.
Knoll takes a glass of water to Ruby, who is getting ready for bed, upstairs in the loft. Ruby thanks him for the drink and tells him that he's "the greatest," and he agrees with her. And you're modest too, Knoll. He asks her if she has plans with Wade and she says that she doesn't want to talk about Wade. They start kissing noisily.
It looks Javier and Ben are sitting on a stoop, out in the street. Javier tries out his proposal to Samuel on Ben, just as a dog-walking woman goes by. Ben says yes, much to Javier's pleasure. Ben asks Javier about his relationship with Samuel. Javier tells him that they're like "two lovebirds in a tree" but that it wasn't always like that and they've had their "Dynasty moments" in which he "played Alexis." Ben laughs and Javier mentions that he once cheated on Samuel with Otis, the water delivery guy. Ben wonders if Samuel forgave him right away and Javier tells him that he had to regain Samuel's trust. Ben wants to know what he had to do but Javier won't tell him because it is personal. Javier counsels, "Every man has to find his own way, his own way of showing his true love." Javier asks him if he thinks that Samuel will accept his proposal. Ben says, "If he's smart, he will." Javier is touched and tells him that is the nicest thing Ben has ever said to him and he gives him a hug. It was very sweet.
Meghan, Julie, Elena, and Felicity are sitting in their booth at Epstein Bar, eating and drinking. Julie reminds Felicity that she is supposed to meet up with Ben but then Meghan reminds her that she doesn't need Ben. Felicity has one of those drunken, supposed moments of clarity, in which she decides that she doesn't need Ben. She goes to the phone and leaves Ben a long, rambling, incoherent message talking about how she doesn't need him and how she thinks they can never be together because she doesn't trust him. She tells him that she's going to move out tomorrow and ends the message with, "You and I, we can never really be," then slumps down in the phone booth.
Felicity barges into the bathroom when Meghan is washing her face. They are both really hung over and talk about the night. Meghan states, "When we don't need men is exactly when we should get together with them." This little nugget of wisdom causes Felicity to stop brushing her teeth and agree with Meghan. Felicity realizes that all the time she was thinking she couldn't trust Ben, it is actually herself that she couldn't trust. She remembers the message that she left for Ben and she runs out into the livingroom to delete it. Sean informs her that Ben has already heard it. He actually also reminds everyone that it is his apartment. Too little, too late, dude. Felicity freaks when she finds out that Ben played the message the night before and that he took off after and Sean hasn't seen him since. The phone rings and it is a call for Ruby, who is sleeping in the bed upstairs with Knoll. Sean takes the phone up to her and tells her it is Wade. Ruby takes the phone and walks away. Sean asks Knoll if he and Ruby slept together and Knoll says they didn't. Sean walks downstairs and Knoll smells the fart that is obviously lingering under the sheets. Sean runs into Julie coming out of the bathroom and he brings up the kiss that he gave her in last week's episode. He wonders if the "thank you" she gave him was a yes or a no. Julie says it was a maybe. Sean is happy with that answer and he thanks her and walks away.
In the hallway outside of Elena's and Knoll's apartment, Tracy apologizes to Elena for all the time it took to redecorate the apartment. Elena opens the door and is blown away by the great job he did. She mentions that she's mad she has to give the apartment up month. Again, I have to ask why they're giving up the apartment. Tracy mumbles about not being able to rush "certain things" and while it seems they're talking about the redecorating, they're really talking about waiting to consummate their relationship. Elena thinks that "some things are really worth waiting for." They thank each other for being patient and start kissing.
Felicity arrives at Dean & Deluca, wondering if Ben is scheduled to work. Javier lets her know that Ben has cancelled his shift. Felicity thinks that Ben probably doesn't want to work with her anymore, and that she really messed up last night. Javier says, "Can we not talk about you for one minute, and talk about me?" Well Javier, sadly the show is called Felicity and not Javier, but we all can dream. Anyway, he tells her that Samuel accepted his proposal and she congratulates him. He exclaims, "Martha Stewart wedding, here I come!" Felicity laughs then begins getting ready for her shift. Ben walks in and tells her that he spent the whole night walking around and figuring out how to show her that he has changed. He realized that the moment that things went wrong for them last fall was when he stood her up at the Bryant Park showing of Charlie Chaplin's The Gold Rush and he wishes he could do that moment over. He says that he's used up all of his words and he wants to make it up to her with actions. He hands Felicity a brown paper bag and she takes a film canister out of it. He asks if she knows what it is and she says, "It's a film canister." He says, "No, it's a time machine." They smile at one another.
The thing you know, they're up on the roof of a building, presumably the loft, watching the movie on a wall, while Sarah McLachlan's "Ice Cream" plays in the background which neatly ties in with Meghan's McLilith theory from last week. The song is from Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, which is what they end up doing when they start to kiss.