Previously on Felicity: Elena told Knoll that Felicity has been driving herself crazy thinking about him and Ruby, and then she turns and tells Felicity that Knoll is going nuts worrying about Felicity's guy.
It's yet another floor meeting for Felicity and Meghan. When I lived in a dorm, I think we had two floor meetings -- total -- for the whole year. Felicity tells the advisees that midterms can be overwhelming, and that if they need help they shouldn't "hesitate to ask [Felicity]...or Meghan," and Meghan adds, "As long as it's nothing stupid." Meghan is holding what looks like a Barbie doll, for some reason. Carl (you remember, Baby Bird Boy? He's clearly this season's Richard) raises his hand and asks what happens if they get sick during midterms. Felicity tells him that professors won't have much sympathy. Carl coughs. Meghan stabs the doll in the head with a pin and says, "Let's take a vote. Who here thinks we have too many of these meetings?" Can I get an A-MEN? Nearly every hand is raised, and Felicity is momentarily sidetracked, but then she dismisses the meeting. Carl stands up again because he has "another question about [his] health: what does mono feel like?" Meghan sneers, "Like anyone would kiss you." Felicity says she's never had it, so she wouldn't know. A random girl stands up and says she's had it, and describes such lovely symptoms as fever and exhaustion. Felicity tells Carl that if he had it, he probably wouldn't even be able to stand up. Carl promptly drops to the floor. Maybe someone could've suggested he go to the infirmary or Health Services, or whatever they call it at their college. Meghan says, "Meeting over." Cue credits.
Felicity is asking Sally why David hasn't kissed her yet. She details all the dates they have been on, and it's quite a few. We see them laughing and walking down the street together. Felicity muses, to Sally, that maybe David doesn't want to get involved because of his ex-girlfriend. You know, the one who dumped him for his best friend. At the door to Felicity's room, she and David make the standard end-of-date small talk, and clearly, this would be the kissing time. Instead, they make plans for lunch and David walks away. Felicity looks disappointed and walks into her room. David walks away and then turns back, but she's gone. I get distracted because the credits says, "Guest Starring Ian Gomez as Javier." Yes! Woo hoo! Sorry. Back to David, who makes an angry gesture so we know that he wants to kiss Felicity, but cannot for some reason. Eh, who cares? Bring on Javier!
Felicity is hanging out at Elena and Knoll's place eating cereal and chatting with Elena and Julie. This is Julie's one and only appearance of the episode and it is brief. I did not miss her. ["Nor did I. Get lost, loser!" -- Wing Chun] Elena asks Felicity what's up with the new guy. Felicity says, "David?" and Elena replies, "I'm calling him 'New Guy.'" I love Elena. Felicity is just starting to talk about the fact that he hasn't kissed her yet when Knoll and Ruby walk in and interrupt. It turns out that some guy in the park asked Ruby to audition for a movie and Knoll thinks it's a bit shady. I would have to agree with Knoll on this one, but I'm cynical like that. Knoll goes on about how the guy is probably a killer, but the women are all impressed by what happened. Ruby says she will get more details about it when she calls the guy, which she's not planning on doing. Felicity says she would be too curious not to call and Ruby says she might call if it weren't for midterms. Hey, are midterms coming up? I'm not sure. Julie asks if he gave her a card and Ruby hands it over. Julie looks at it for a millisecond and then somehow determines that it's " totally legitimate." As if you can't just get business cards printed up at Kinko's. ["Or on your own desktop printer if you just go to Grand & Toy and buy a package of pre-punched cardstock." -- Wing Chun] How do these people survive ten minutes in New York City? Elena encourages Ruby to call. Knoll asks where the bagels are and Elena replies, "In my stomach." Hee! Felicity says she put them in the cupboard. What, does she live there now? While Knoll hunts down the wild bagel, Elena remembers what they were talking about and prompts Felicity to continue her story. Ruby gets into it too. Felicity whispers, "This guy...that I've been hanging out with...he just..." and Julie fills in, "won't make a move?" Ruby asks if he's kissed her and Felicity says he hasn't yet. Elena asks if she wants him to kiss her but Knoll walks over and all conversation stops. Knoll asks if it's girl talk. When a group of people immediately clams up when you arrive on the scene, they're either talking about you, talking about something that's none of your business, or planning a surprise party for you. In my experience, anyway. Felicity gets all secretive and tells Elena, "The answer to your question is definitely", Julie squeals, Elena laughs, and Knoll complains that they are being mean to him. B-O-O H-O-O.
Maggie (the Bitchy-TV-Maggie, of course) is training someone how to decorate pastry when the phone rings. She picks it up and starts spouting out Japanese, and while she is on the phone, Ben appears in the doorway. When she hangs up, he jokes that now he has to learn Japanese. Well, I guess it was supposed to be a joke, but it wasn't that funny. Maggie does not look very happy to see him, and she asks her employee "Suzanne" to go make a phone call so that she leaves the room. Ben asks her if she speaks many languages, because he hasn't yet mastered English. Ben, more kissing and less talking. Maggie says that she lived in Tokyo, but wants to know what Ben is doing there. Ben just wanted to see her. Maggie says she needs to maintain a certain image at work, and I guess that image is "brazen hussy" because in her move she grabs Ben and starts making out with him. She stops and wipes her mouth and says, "Kissing a college boy" somewhat ruefully. Ben tells her to get over the age thing. Suzanne the employee comes back and they both look guilty until she leaves again. Maggie tells Ben that she can't have him there, not now.
Felicity and David walk into her room and Meghan is in her bed saying, "Fire. Clammy. I have mono." They both kind of step back and David says he knew a boy who had mono for seven months and he thinks everything is airborne, so Felicity shouldn't sleep there. You know, there's a reason they call mono the kissing disease. You have to have contact with an infected person's bodily fluids to get it. You'd think Felicity, the former pre-med major would know this. Anyway, Felicity says she has to stay because she's an RA. David points out that she won't be much help if she gets sick and invites her to stay at his place. Felicity says, "What?" but before she can ask more questions Knoll barges in and says that Ruby called "the killer" and now they're sending her "sides" whatever that means. He finally notices that the world does not revolve around him and says hello to David. Felicity introduces them, and then Meghan moans. Felicity explains to Knoll about the mono and Knoll says he had it freshman year. David asks Felicity again to spend the night and Felicity agrees, so David leaves. Knoll gives him the stink-eye.
At Dean and Deluca, Javier asks Felicity, "You are spending the night at this guy's apartment?" Felicity says David doesn't want her getting sick. Javier says she should stay with him and Samuel, because they have "this pullout thing -- it's deluxe. You're not allergic to animals, are you?" Felicity tells him that she wants to stay at David's place. Javier says, "As your friend and also boss, I don't exactly approve. It seems like a scheme, like the first excuse to get you into bed." Throughout the conversation, Felicity is on the verge of giggling, and I would be too because Javier is just so funny. The phone rings and Javier answers, "Deeen and Deloooooca. This is Javier." He listens for a minute and then holds out the phone to Felicity, saying, "It's the man I don't trust." Felicity takes the phone and tries to pay attention while Javier tries to guess what David is saying. He writes his guess down but Felicity can't understand it because it's written in Spanish and I get the feeling that a lot of this scene was improvised. Felicity got the big dis from David -- he told her his apartment is being fumigated. Yeah, who hasn't heard that one before? Javier invites her over again but she declines. What is she, nuts? Can you imagine anything more fun than having a slumber party at Javier's place?
Felicity is preparing to camp out on the couch in the dorm lounge. She chose this over Javier? As she gets settled in, she hears the unmistakable sounds of two people having sex. She tries to ignore it while the elevator door opens and Knoll and Ruby walk out. They don't see Felicity, who is trying to crawl inside the couch. Knoll and Ruby kiss with much smacking of lips; also whenever these two kiss, they make little noises like "Mmmm" and "Mmm-hmm" and it bugs me. Felicity realizes that they wouldn't notice if she paraded around naked with her hair on fire, so she watches them, which is somewhat creepy. I think I would drop something heavy so that they would notice me. Ruby finally sees her and asks what she's doing sleeping in the lounge. Knoll remembers that Meghan has mono, but says that he thought Felicity was sleeping at David's apartment. Felicity says that fell through. Ruby asks Felicity about ten times whether she's okay, and Felicity insists that she is. Ruby says goodbye to Knoll and leaves. Knoll asks Felicity again if she's okay and Felicity says, "Really. I'm fine." Knoll starts to leave but turns around and says goodnight and then gets in the elevator. Felicity starts to settle in again, but Knoll returns. He asks Felicity if Ruby knows about their history. Felicity says that she hasn't said anything, but that she wishes Knoll would tell her. Knoll says he's waiting for the right time because it's early yet: "It's a very seminal time. That was a horrible word to describe that." Felicity says that Ruby has told her what a good kisser Knoll is and Knoll manages to look surprised and pleased at the same time. Knoll asks Felicity not to say anything and that he will tell Ruby when the time is right. Knoll asks Felicity to come and stay at his and Elena's apartment but Felicity refuses. What is she, some sort of martyr? As soon as Knoll leaves, the sex noises start up again.
The day, Elena and Felicity are having coffee at Dean and Deluca. Elena tells Felicity she looks "like [she's] been hit in the face...twice." Felicity wishes she were asleep. Elena suggests that Felicity has mono but Felicity says she's just exhausted. Javier brings them coffee and says, "You look like the bottom of the cappuccino machine when we clean it out at night," and he mimes cleaning out the bottom of the machine. Elena asks what happened to Felicity's "knight in shining apartment." Felicity relates the fumigation story and Elena looks doubtful as only Elena can. Elena remarks to Javier that it sounds like, "guy B.S. 101". Javier is confused and says, "B.S.? Boy Shenanigans, is that?" Just as Felicity is agreeing that she doubted the story, David shows up. Felicity introduces him all around and Javier says, "Hello, you. Excuse me, I have to dust the...scones." I know I am transcribing every word Javier said, but I just love him, and he's on so rarely that I have to treasure each and every word from his mouth. Anyway, Elena also excuses herself so Felicity and David are left alone. David gives Felicity some prints he was telling her about, while Elena and Javier stand behind his back and make "Ask him!" gestures at Felicity, who tries to ignore them. I think a spin-off is in order here. Those two crack me up. David turns around and busts them and they leave. Felicity laughs, and David asks her out to dinner. Felicity straight out asks him if the fumigation story is true and he says he'll prove it to her after dinner. How romantic -- dinner and bug spray for dessert.
Knoll is in his apartment and he says, "I thought you trusted me more than this." Ruby replies, "I'm so sorry." Oh no! Are they fighting? Or could they possibly be rehearsing for Ruby's audition? Because I didn't see that one coming a mile away. Except I did. Anyway, they say some more lines and then the script calls for a kiss and they start "mmm, mmm-hmm"-ing all over the place. Ruby is nervous about the audition but Knoll supports her and they make out some more.
Felicity holds a tissue up to her nose while she goes through her room. Yeah, that'll keep the germs away. Ruby knocks on the door. Meghan, still sick in bed, says, "Come in! Take a load off! Have some pie!" Felicity explains that Meghan is delirious from the mono. Ruby hems and haws and then asks Felicity where she should go to get a diaphragm, not that Felicity cares what she and Knoll do. Felicity looks amused and surprised, but remembers to tell Ruby that diaphragms and the Pill don't protect you against STDs. After the PSA, Ruby thanks her and asks where she's going, since she's clearly packing. Felicity says she's going to stay at Knoll's and Elena's (finally!) and Meghan adds, "Until I die." Ruby observes that Felicity and Knoll are "really good friends. How come you never went out with him?" Felicity tries to think of how to answer that question without giving up the ghost. I would've just told her. Screw Knoll. Felicity told him to tell Ruby the truth like twenty times. She doesn't owe him any favors. Anyway, Felicity bends over her suitcase, which also puts her right in range when Meghan sneezes on her. Felicity tries to wipe it off (ew!) and Meghan says it was an accident. Felicity and Ruby run out the door. Does anyone think that maybe these mono victims should go to the infirmary or get some sort of care? At least have someone checking in on them every occasionally to bring them water and fresh tissues? Instead, they are left to rot and die. ["I was hoping that Meghan would blurt out Knoll and Felicity's history and then delirious hilarity would ensue." -- Maggie]
Elena is studying, using her M&M reward method from last season in a nice piece of continuity. Felicity is trying on clothes for her date with David, and asks if her top is too dressy. It doesn't look that dressy to me. Elena asks what she's going for on a scale of one to ten, but her mouth is full of M&M so it comes out "Mumble, mumble, morf mun men." Thank God for captioning. Anyway, Felicity says she's going for a three and Elena says her current top is a six. I disagree. Anyway, they didn't ask me so Felicity goes back to change and Elena starts looking at David's prints. She observes, "Damn. New Guy's talented, too?" I'm not sure if that means that Knoll was talented (not) or if David's talented in addition to being attractive (not, again). Felicity says he still hasn't kissed her. Why doesn't she just kiss him? Elena says tonight is the night. Felicity comes out with a red bandanna top that I can't imagine wearing to hang out. Well, I can't imagine wearing it, period, but maybe I would if I looked like Keri Russell. Elena likes it and Felicity goes to put it on as Knoll walks in the door. Elena tells him he's in trouble and Felicity yells, "You still haven't told her!" from the bathroom.
Knoll figures out what they are talking about and says it doesn't matter. Felicity says that she's Ruby's RA and Ruby keeps coming to her with questions that make her uncomfortable. Knoll agrees to tell her, again. He asks what's going on with her and David, as if it's his business. Felicity says that they are just in a beginning stage. Knoll says, "You're not going to ask me about Ruby?" Knoll has been cool this episode, but he's starting to bug me. Felicity must feel the same, because she says, "Hello! I know about you and Ruby," and Elena fills in that Ruby asked Felicity about a diaphragm. Knoll does that surprised and pleased look again, but there's a knock on the door and Knoll has to change. It's Ruby; she says that her audition was moved to tomorrow. Knoll and Ruby start making out and Felicity watches them again. This is getting creepy. Elena asks where "you non-midterm studying kids are off to?" Ruby asks Knoll what he's in the mood for and Elena says, under her breath, "Besides a low GPA." Hee! There's another knock on the door and it's David. A comedy of errors ensues. The bottom line is that Ruby and David decide it would be cool to all get food together at Epstein Bar and Knoll and Felicity are clearly uncomfortable with it but don't know how to say anything. Elena finally shoos them out.
Maggie pours some wine for herself and Ben. Ben says he's glad she called him back. Maggie says she wasn't going to, since she knows how this is going to end. Ben thinks she might be wrong. Maggie makes a lame joke about being a "psychic Japanese-speaking caterer," and I really can't wait until she's not on this show anymore because she bugs me. She tells Ben, "I just wanted to be with you one last time. That's what this is. Do you understand?" Ben tries to make a joke out of it by saying that he's young, so he doesn't know what she means. Maggie says, "This is it. No more after tonight," as if she is refusing him candy, which in a way I guess she is. Ben keeps saying, "Unless you're wrong." Give it up, already, man! Clearly, you could get other women. They start making out and it's really loud and smacky and Ben asks if they should go somewhere else and Maggie dramatically sweeps all the utensils off the butcher block counter and they do it right there. I think any real caterer would take better care of her utensils. Of course, the only other caterer I have to look to for an example is Monica Geller, so there's that.
Felicity, David, Knoll and Ruby are sitting in a booth at Epstein Bar and laughing as they tease Ruby about her potential movie role, and how she's not allowed to tell them who the male star of the movie is. I am such a blabbermouth that I probably would have told five minutes after I heard. Clearly, Ruby has a little more self-control than I do. Ruby and David go to get more drinks. Felicity and Knoll chit-chat and Knoll notices that Felicity has an eyelash on her cheek and volunteers to get it off. He does, and holds it out for her to blow off and make a wish, and tells her to make a really good wish. Felicity asks him what he would wish for and they go back and forth in a very flirtatious manner until Knoll says he is "always wishing. Even in non-eyelash moments." I think it's kind of shitty of both of them to flirt so obviously when they are on dates with other people! Anyway, Felicity blows the eyelash off and Knoll says her wish couldn't have come true because he's still there, and clearly he's waiting for her to say, "I wouldn't wish you away!" but she doesn't, which is kind of funny. Ruby and David look over and notice how close the two of them are. Oops.
Ben and Maggie walk out of her building and Ben asks her if she wants to go get coffee. Maggie says she wasn't kidding about it being over and Ben protests some more. He says, "You like me. You do." You know, if he were a women doing this to a man, people would be saying he's needy and desperate. Somehow because he's a man, it's charming. What's up with that? Maybe it's just because Scott Speedman is so darn cute and you can't imagine a woman not wanting him. Anyway, Maggie tells him she just likes sleeping with him. Ben just can't take no for an answer and asks her to get coffee with him again. Maggie says, "We'll see each other and be polite," but their relationship has to be kept a secret, "but it was really fun. Take care." She walks off and Ben stares at her retreating back. ["I am a happily married woman, but if someone who looked like Speedy were telling me, 'You like me. You do,' I would have a few sleepless nights." -- Wing Chun]
Ruby is on the pay phone talking to her roommate and Knoll is bugging her to get off. As soon as she does, they start making out. I think they're supposed to be drunk, but neither of them is of legal drinking age. I realize that doesn't stop many people, but still. Oh yeah, and get a room. I mean, Knoll lives upstairs, so it wouldn't be that much trouble.
Back at the table, Felicity and David are discussing his "prints," especially one of a little girl. David says the little girl reminded him of Felicity because "there was this purity about her, this grace. She's extraordinary." Felicity is really pleased to hear this.
Ruby and Knoll are still making out by the pay phone, and making their "mmm" noises. Ruby says, "Knoll" and Knoll says, "Felicity." Oops. Ruby stops kissing him and asks what he said. Knoll stammers and tries to make excuses, and then tells her that he and Felicity went out but they broke up last year. Ruby asks how it ended and realizes that Felicity broke up with Knoll. She wonders why neither of them told her. Knoll tries to tell her that they talked about it and...Ruby yells, "You had discussions about not telling me?" She's really embarrassed that she told Felicity about Knoll being a good kisser and asking her for birth control advice. Knoll digs himself deeper by saying, "I know." Ruby says, "You know?" and walks away.
At the booth, Ruby grabs her coat and Felicity asks her what's wrong. Ruby says, "I wish you would have [sic] told me about you and Noel." Oops. David didn't know either. Well, he does now. Felicity asks if Knoll told her and Ruby says, "Not intentionally." Knoll comes up and tries to talk about it but Ruby stomps off and Knoll follows. Felicity tells David she probably should have told him herself. David says it's hard to judge that so soon after a break-up. Felicity says that Knoll wasn't the guy with whom she had just broken up when she met David. David says he's in trouble then, because his big concern was that he's not ready to trust someone again, and he leaves. I didn't really understand what the hell he was talking about there. I mean, I know he has trust issues because of his ex and his best friend, but why did it make a difference that Knoll wasn't Felicity's most recent boyfriend?
Knoll comes back and says that Ruby wouldn't let him come with her, and asks where David went. Felicity says that he left, and echoes my thoughts by saying, "What the hell just happened?" Knoll tells her that he said her name while kissing Ruby. He's not sure if he should say this, but does anyway: "As much as we've been through, as much as I feel for you, as much as I think about you, I really wanted it to work with Ruby." Felicity says, "Me too, with David." They sit there and look glum.
Felicity wakes up on a couch in Knoll and Elena's apartment and she is looking rough. She coughs and tells Knoll she thinks she has mono. Elena comes in and asks what's going on and Knoll tells her. Elena puts the bowl she was holding in front of her face, which is probably about as effective as Felicity's tissue against germs. Elena, of all people, should know how mono is spread. Felicity asks for some compassion and Elena says, "Felicity, I feel for you. Really. Get out." Knoll agrees.
Felicity arrives back at her room and tells Meghan, "Thanks for the mono." Meghan is sleeping but suddenly Carl pops up from where he is lying behind her and asks what Felicity is doing there. Felicity says, "What are you doing there?" Carl tells her that since they both have mono, they had sex. Meghan says, "Is that what that was?" While this is a funny sight gag, if they truly had mono they would be too exhausted to even think about sex. I'm just sayin'. ["No kidding. When I had mono, I wasn't even aware of what sex I was." -- Maggie] Felicity looks stunned and gets in bed fully clothed.
Knoll is rebuilding the model house that he and Ruby crushed in a episode when Ruby knocks on the door. She tells Knoll that she likes him and that's why she got so upset -- because she thought maybe she was being led on. Knoll assures her that she's not. Ruby says, "It doesn't matter. I like being with you and whatever happens, happens." Knoll starts to explain why he said Felicity's name and Ruby says he doesn't have to explain, he just has to make sure never to do it again.
Ben is drinking coffee while standing in the rain, and he goes to Maggie's office/kitchen. Ben says that he had an idea he wanted to run by her, and suggests they go away to Vermont for the weekend. Persistence, thy name is Ben. Or, maybe, cluelessness, thy name is Ben. Maggie tells him he's cute, which he says is patronizing, and asks her again to go away with him. Maggie says she can't. Ben has clearly been taking negotiation classes from Sean because he asks if there are any conditions under which she would say yes. She says there are. He encourages her to get to those conditions while Suzanne the employee comes in and tells Maggie that her husband is on line one. D'oh! Ben is stunned. Later, he walks down the street in the rain while Aaron Neville tells us how it "feels like rain".
Ruby and Knoll are making out on his bed. Ruby asks if Knoll "has anything" and I'm wondering, "Like mono or AIDS?" but I guess she meant condoms because Knoll pulls one out and tries to check the expiration date. Ruby says she got the part in the movie and Knoll congratulates her. Ruby drops the bomb that she leaves in two days and she'll be gone for three weeks. I guess she's not worried about her midterms. Knoll asks who the secret guy in the movie that she'll be kissing is. Ruby says it's Tom Cruise but she pretends like it's not a big deal. Knoll is a little nervous about her kissing Tom Cruise but Ruby grabs the condom and asks if it's expired, and then says, "No? Excellent!" ["Why Knoll -- are you homophobic or something? -- Maggie]
Felicity wakes up in her room looking like hell. She says, "Gotta go out," and slowly gets up. Meghan asks what she's doing and Felicity repeats that she has to go out. Meghan replies, "Too tired...to insult you." Felicity says, "Me too," and walks out the door.
David is sitting in his studio and there is a knock at the door. He opens it to Felicity, who is wearing an air filter mask. She says that she had to come, and asks him for a chair, and whether she can take her mask off. She says she's sorry if he's not comfortable with their potential relationship, because she really wants to see where they could go. She says she's not making promises or having expectations, and if she weren't pretty sure she had mono, she would grab him and kiss him right now. She puts the mask back on. He takes it back off and says, "So give me mono," and they kiss. I guess that was supposed to be romantic, but it grossed me out. Like, aren't there better ways to prove your commitment to the relationship than infecting someone?