When we last left our heroine, she was doing it with Simon Rex. So now it's the morning after, and Felicity wakes up in her own bed. Felicity voice-overs a tape to Sally: "When I woke up, I wasn't sure if it had really happened, or if it had been a dream -- an incredibly realistic dream. There were pastel drawings and abstract paintings. It smelled like turpentine." Felicity reaches down and picks up her shirt, which has some chalk or something on it. FVO continues, "He kissed my neck, and I kissed him back." There's a knock at the door, and Felicity sits up guiltily. Noel calls out to her. Felicity quickly puts her hair up, and then opens the door. Noel says he's glad she's there, and asks to come in. Noel says he came by the night before, but she wasn't there, which is fine, because she's there now. Noel keeps babbling and apologizes for what happened, which was the worst thing he could have done to her, but now it's over, and it was a huge mistake. Felicity says she can't talk about this right now. Throughout this scene, Felicity avoids Noel's eyes. Noel asks her to hear him out, and that the whole time he was with Hannah, all he could do was think of Felicity. Noel adds that nothing really happened, and he didn't sleep with Hannah. Felicity puts on her coat and backpack and says she has to go to the library. Noel offers to walk with her, but Felicity says he doesn't have to. Noel says he knows she's hurt and angry, and he doesn't blame her, because it's all his fault, but he just wants to talk to her for a minute. Felicity says she really has to go, and practically runs out the door.
At the library, Julie finds Felicity and sits down. She asks what happened with Noel and Hannah. Felicity says that Noel apologized. Julie asks what happened at Hannah's apartment. Felicity says that Noel told Hannah it was over, and didn't sleep with her. Julie clarifies that it's definitely over between Hannah and Noel. Felicity agrees, but doesn't sound very happy about it. Julie asks what's wrong. Felicity says that it's more complicated than that, and kind of hard to explain right now. Sean sits down at the table and says hello. Julie says she's not going to sell fruit for him. Sean says he's doing some reading for a project he has in the works. Julie tells Sean that she and Felicity are in the middle of something. Sean looks at Felicity's red face and apologizes, then leaves. Felicity says she has to go to class. Julie watches her leave, wondering what in the hell is going on.
Noel appears to be making a mix tape. Daryl, the RA from another floor that I think we last saw in the Brian Krakow story arc, walks in and dumps a box in Noel's lap. Noel says he can't deal with this right now. Daryl says it's not his problem and starts to leave. Noel begs Daryl to cover for him. Daryl says it's never going to happen, and walks out.
Noel presides over a floor meeting. He explains that apparently the people on the floor don't know each other very well, because they've been letting strangers into the dorm, so they're going to play a game called "Assassins" in order to get to know each other. Elena comments to Felicity that she played this game in boarding school. Noel says that they are all now officially hit men, and they will each receive a gun. A guy named Louis says he's a pacifist and would like conscientious objector status. Richard calls Louis a "conscientious wuss." Like Richard is a tough guy. Noel says that with the gun, each person will receive suction darts and an envelope containing the name of another dorm resident, who will become the target. When they kill their target, they get their target's envelope, and thus a new target. They play until there is one person left, who is the winner. Noel says that he doesn't care if they don't play, and dumps the box full of guns on the floor. Elena says that she has to win the game, because she came in second at boarding school and it still haunts her. Noel walks up and asks to talk to Felicity. Elena leaves, and Noel says that he doesn't expect Felicity to forgive him right away, but if there's anything she needs him to do, he'll do it. Also, he finally finished the mix tape he was making for her. Felicity takes the tape as Richard complains that his gun is broken. Elena hands Felicity a gun and they walk off. Elena says she can't believe Noel has the nerve to talk to Felicity after "all that Hannah stuff."
Julie walks into the loft, where she finds Sean and a stack of books. She starts reading the book's titles aloud, and Sean asks if she minds, because he's reading. Julie apologizes for being rude to him in the library. Julie asks why Sean was in the library in the first place, and asks to hear about his new project. Sean can't resist admitting that he has a crush on one of the librarians. He has a whole plan worked out, but he needs to know the woman's name. He tries to get Julie to find it out for him. Before she can answer, Ben and Lynn burst into the apartment. Lynn asks if they've ever heard of a band named Love Pie, because they're playing a show that night at 1:00 AM. Ben points out that they have a 5:00 AM swim practice. Lynn asks Julie if she's in, or if she's a killjoy. I'll answer that. She's a killjoy. Hey, I was right! Lynn asks Sean, but Sean has to watch a sales seminar on cable. Lynn asks Ben if he's in. Ben asks permission from Julie, like, when did she turn into his mom? Julie asks about practice, and Ben says he thinks he'll be all right. Julie looks concerned. Sean asks again if Julie will find out the librarian's name, but Julie is too distracted to answer.
In her room, Felicity listens to Noel's tape. Elena stands up and shuts it off, telling Felicity that she can't let a mix tape make her go soft. Felicity thinks that it might not be as bad as it seems. Elena points out that Noel's hanging out with Hannah and telling Felicity that he's confused is "bad stuff." Felicity says that Noel keeps apologizing, and she feels awful. Elena points out that Noel was the one hanging out with someone else, not Felicity. Felicity doesn't say anything. Elena tells Felicity that she should go shoot her target, Richard, to get her mind off things. There's a knock at the door, and Elena reminds Felicity not to answer it, because the game started five minutes ago. A guy calls out that he has a delivery for Felicity. Elena tells the guy to leave the package by the door. Meghan walks in the other door. There's another door? Elena immediately pivots, gun drawn, and aims at Meghan. Meghan asks if they are deaf, because the delivery guy just left some hideous flowers outside their door. Elena looks confused and opens the door. Wow, those flowers are hideous. Elena hands Felicity the card. Felicity says she can't live like this, and has to talk to Noel. She rushes out of the room. Elena asks Meghan who her target is. Meghan picks up the envelope and says that it's some girl named Elena Tyler. Elena stiffens. Meghan asks who the hell that is. Elena says she has no idea, and runs out of the room.
Felicity knocks on Noel's door and asks if they can talk. Noel lets her in and apologizes some more. Felicity asks him to stop because she needs to tell him something. Noel apologizes some more. Felicity says she can't take all of the apologies and tapes and flowers. Noel says he didn't send her any flowers. Oops. Felicity slowly opens the envelope. Noel takes it from her and asks, "Who's [Simon]?" Felicity says that's what she came to talk to him about. She explains that last night, she was with someone. Noel looks angry. Felicity continues by saying, "And, I...I slept with him." Noel turns and walks out. Classy move by Simon with the flowers, though.
Noel sits in class, totally not listening. Of course, the teacher calls on him. Noel says that he needs to leave, and walks out of the classroom mumbling about emotional turmoil. Yikes.
Felicity walks into the studio and finds Simon there. She walks up to him and thanks him for the flowers. Felicity hesitantly explains that last night probably shouldn't have happened, because she has a guy in her life. Simon Rex says he gets it, which I seriously doubt. Simon says Felicity was going through a rough spot in her relationship, and Simon was a break, so that she could feel better. Felicity starts to say she's not like that, but Simon tells her it's cool. He adds that if it doesn't work out between Felicity and Noel, she should let Simon know. It's a good thing they didn't write Simon's part so that he actually showed emotion in this scene, because I don't think he's capable of that. Felicity leaves.
Felicity says on her tape to Sally that Simon said that "people do it all the time," but she never thought she was one of those people. Felicity was so relieved to get out of there, and it was like she was leaving behind what happened, but then she got to her room and realized she'll never be able to leave it behind. Felicity concludes, "My first time was with someone I didn't know, and I'll never be able to change that. What I did -- it's forever." Oh, whatever. I know it seems like a huge deal when you're a virgin, and sure, it's nice if your first time is memorable and all, but I think most people would tell you that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't end up being all that important.
Sean and Julie hang out in the library and wait for Sean's librarian to show up. A girl runs up to Julie and shoots her. Julie throws the dart back and yells that the library is out of bounds. Wow, bad strategy on that girl's part -- now Julie knows her assassin. Sean notices that his librarian is there, and he drools over her a bit. Sean says that he's just going to give her the letter he wrote. Julie reads it out loud; after the first paragraph, she says that he can't give the librarian the letter. The librarian walks by, and Sean makes Julie pretend they are just talking about something. After the librarian passes, Sean sighs that he doesn't have a chance. Julie says she's going to get the librarian's name. Sean tries to stop her, because he doesn't know if his plan is fully formed. Julie walks up and asks the librarian if her name is Vivian. The librarian says her name is Chloe, and Julie says, "Oh, okay. Never mind." Julie walks back to Sean and reveals the name. Sean giggles and mouths, "Chloe." Julie tells Sean to ask her out. Sean says that he can't, because he has to move on to Stage Two. He gathers his things and practically runs out of the library. I think the only time I liked Julie was when she was hanging out with Sean, but not when he was in love with her.
Felicity walks into her hall and finds Elena lounging around. Elena tells her to be careful, because there are assassins everywhere. A door opens, and Elena aims her gun at the guy with the Sideshow Bob hair. Or should that be the Justin Guarini hair? He quickly slams the door before Elena can shoot him, and yells that it's not fair to ambush your target. Elena says simply, "Your ass is mine." Elena asks Felicity what she's up to, and Felicity says that she has a letter for Noel. Sideshow yells that he can't miss a class because of the game. Elena says that her heart is breaking, and then advises Felicity to let Noel suffer. Felicity says that he is suffering, and promises to tell Elena about it later. Sideshow yells out to see if Elena is still there as Felicity slides her letter under Noel's door.
Lynn walks into Dean & Deluca to see Ben. Lynn makes a stupid coffee joke that Ben seems to enjoy, for some unknown reason. Lynn announces that he has passes to the Knitting Factory. Ben can't believe Lynn wants to go out again tonight, because they barely made it to practice this morning. Lynn protests that they were fine, and points out that the band was great. Ben agrees, but isn't sure about going out again. Lynn says that Ben will be fine, and badgers Ben until he agrees to go out.
Noel arrives at his room and finds Felicity's letter on the floor. He looks at it briefly and then sets it aside. Richard sidles in and says he has a question about the rules of the game. Noel wants to go over it later. Richard asks if the name in the envelope is the person he's supposed to shoot. Noel says it is. Richard says that if Noel had his name, he could shoot Richard. Noel agrees and asks Richard to leave. Richard fumbles for his gun and finally pulls it out, saying, "Ironic, isn't it? How the hunter so quickly becomes the hunted?" I don't know why, but that just cracked my shit up. Noel tells Richard that didn't even make sense. Richard says he's about to shoot Noel. Noel begs Richard to put him out of his misery. Richard says Noel's taking all of the fun about it. Noel says he needs to be shot and put out of his misery. Richard relaxes and says that he's there if Noel wants to talk. Noel doesn't want to. Richard asks if it's about Felicity. Noel doesn't answer. Richard says that Noel has the look, and there must be another guy in the picture. Richard says he's been there, with a girl he dated at summer camp. Noel says he doesn't know what happened. Richard says when it happened to him, he felt like he needed to find out everything he could about the other guy, and he just found out that the guy was a Minnow and not even allowed out of the shallow end of the pool. That didn't make Richard feel better. Richard adds, "You hear what I'm telling you, man? I lost my girlfriend to a guy that wore floaties." All Noel hears is that part about finding out about the other guy. Richard adds that it's human nature, but also a really bad idea. Noel leaves.
Noel asks Felicity about Simon. Felicity keeps apologizing, and then admits that she met him at the art studio. Noel says that being an artist is romantic. He keeps angrily shaking a Magic 8-Ball. Felicity says she doesn't want to do this. Noel asks if she was drunk. Felicity says she doesn't want to talk about it. Noel says that this involves him, too, and he doesn't even know if they were safe. Felicity explodes that of course they were. So Simon just keeps condoms at the art studio? Maybe he had one in his wallet. Anyway. Felicity reminds Noel that he was with Hannah, and Noel says that he didn't have sex with Hannah. Felicity knows that. Noel says that, two months ago, Felicity said she wasn't ready for sex. Felicity says that Noel was the one who was confused about his ex-girlfriend. Noel yells that it's not his fault that Felicity slept with someone else. Felicity says, "You wanted the facts, and the fact is that when you left to go to Hannah's, I thought that you were breaking up with me. I mean, I could barely breathe." Noel asks if it was about revenge. Felicity shrieks that it wasn't, and Noel yells, "Then what the hell was it?" While he yells, he tosses the Magic 8-Ball and breaks something. Felicity recoils. Noel rubs his face with his hands. Felicity says that she doesn't know, and she doesn't know what he wants her to say. She made a mistake -- a horrible mistake. She would do anything to take back the last few days, and she's really sorry. Noel quietly says, "But you can't. It's done." He walks out. Felicity cries. Keri Russell got a lot better at the crying as the series went on. I think this is when I started to hate Noel. I mean, yes. Felicity slept with someone else. But Noel practically slept with Hannah. There's just some sort of undercurrent of "men are expected to sleep around but women must remain pure and virginal" that bothers me in Noel's attitude.
Elena stands outside the room belonging to Guy, the guy with the freaky hair. He yells that he has to go to the bathroom, and that if his bladder bursts, he's sending her the hospital bill. Elena promises him a five-minute break to go to bathroom. He walks out and she shoots him. He calls her a liar and hands over the name of his intended victim. Noel walks by and Guy says, "Noel, she cheats!" while pointing at Elena. Noel mumbles, "So does everyone." Elena celebrates.
Felicity and Julie are in the cafeteria. Felicity apologizes for not telling Julie about Simon Rex earlier, but that she couldn't get the words out. Julie says she's been there before, and it's a horrible feeling to sleep with someone and wish that you hadn't. Julie adds that it makes you feel like you were used, or like he didn't care. Felicity says that it wasn't like that, because Simon was "sweet and kind." Felicity says that the horrible part was that it happened at all, because last week, she and Noel were "making out instead of studying and taking naps together," and she was going to go to Boston with him for Spring Break. Felicity dissolves into tears and angrily says that she doesn't know what she was thinking. Julie says that Felicity's always thinking, and maybe this time she wasn't. Felicity says that she wishes she had just stayed in her room. Richard walks up and tells Felicity that he heard what she did to Noel. Julie tells him to get out of there. Felicity angrily grits her teeth and grabs her gun, then shoots Richard in the eye. Richard petulantly says, "You hit me in the eye!" and slams his envelope on the table. Felicity picks it up and reads it -- she has Noel's name. Julie asks who Felicity got, and Felicity says, "I'll give you one guess," and then starts crying again.
Noel walks into the art studio and wanders around a bit. He asks a girl where Simon Rex is, and the girl points him out. Noel walks up and looks at the drawings of Felicity sitting near Simon's table. Simon asks Noel if he can help him. Noel says he's just looking. After a pause, Noel asks Simon if the drawings of Felicity are his, and Simon says they are. Noel picks one up and asks the identity of the subject in the picture. Simon says, "Oh, just some girl." Noel flares his nostrils and says, "Yeah, that's what I thought." He stomps off.
Sean walks into the loft and says that he has Stage Two of his plan in his hand. He's carrying a gift bag. Julie says that she got Chloe's name, and now she doesn't want to be involved anymore. Sean lifts a Day Planner out of the bag. Julie can't believe it. Sean says he has to bring something to the table or Chloe won't accept his offer. Julie asks what he's talking about. Sean says, "It's called buyer incentive! It's like the free watch you get from a magazine subscription." Julie tells Sean that he's insane, and needs to lose the Day Planner. Julie also adds that he spelled Chloe wrong. Sean looks at the cover, which says, "Chleo." Oops.
Noel sits at Epstein Bar, drinking. Lynn comes in and says that he knows Noel, and that Ben is coming over right away. Noel ruefully says that he forgot about Ben. Noel asks for a refill on his beer. Lynn asks if he's okay, and Noel says he's been better. Lynn asks if Noel's going to do one of those "I've seen it in the movies so I'm going to drink away my sorrows" things. Noel asks if Lynn's going to offer a running commentary. Lynn says he's not, but he's going to cut Noel off after the beer, and then it will be time for Noel to go home to his girlfriend. Noel sadly says, "My girlfriend."
Meghan, that RA from another floor, and the Louis the Conscientious Objector guy meet in the hallway. They all eye each other warily, and then simultaneously pull out their guns, creating a Mexican standoff. Louis says, "I'm Louis, and I am for peace at Kelvin Hall." Meghan says she's not going down in the first round and asks who has her for a target. Elena calmly walks up behind the RA and shoots him, then takes his name. Louis takes the opportunity to run off. Meghan says that she hates the game, and walks off as well, passing Noel as he drunkenly walks off the elevator.
Noel knocks and enters Felicity's room. He notes that she's listening to the tape he made her. He asks what she thinks, and Felicity says it's really good so far. Noel asks if he can sit down, and Felicity moves over to give him room. Felicity asks if he's been drinking, and Noel says, "Just a little." Felicity asks if he got her messages. Noel says, "You called me." Felicity tries to explain that she didn't know where he was. Noel says that he was walking for a long time, and then ended up at Epstein Bar. Felicity says that she can tell. Noel apologizes, and Felicity says she didn't mean it like that. Noel says that he's sorry about them and everything that happened, and that it's all his fault. Felicity says that it's her fault too, and they hug. Felicity keeps saying that she's sorry. Noel starts kissing her neck and they start making out. Noel says he thinks they can do this. Felicity asks what he means. Noel says he thinks they can forget about it and erase it. Felicity asks if they should talk about it and figure out why it happened. Noel keeps kissing her. Felicity asks to talk about it. Noel says no and keeps kissing her. Felicity keeps saying that she wants to talk about it, but Noel starts pushing her down on the bed. Felicity finally shoves him off and he lands on the floor. They both seem embarrassed. Noel stands up shakily. Felicity seems shocked that she shoved him off. Noel asks, "What am I doing here?" and walks out. I remember when this aired, a friend of mine who shall remain nameless was like, "I would've just had sex with him. That would have been easier. I mean, she loved him so what's the big deal?" I wonder how differently things would have turned out if Felicity had slept with Noel there.
Felicity walks through the cafeteria in slow motion. She passes Noel and kind of turns as if to say something, but he avoids eye contact. After she passes, he turns and looks at her. Felicity reaches the lunch line and grabs a tray. Just as she reaches for a Jell-O, Meghan walks up and grabs it from her, claiming to be diabetic. Felicity asks what Meghan is doing, and Meghan says hello. Felicity says that it's the last Jell-O, and she wants it. Meghan says, "You snooze, you lose," and adds that Felicity should have said the same thing to Noel when he "threw a hissyfit about [Felicity] banging the art student." Felicity angrily says that what she tells Noel is none of Meghan's business. Meghan starts to turn away, and Felicity adds, "You know what? You are nothing but a selfish, offensive freak show and I am sick of everything about you!" Meghan cocks her head and asks if Felicity is mad at her or something. Felicity says, with tears in her voice, that she just wants her damn Jell-O back. Meghan starts to walk away again. Elena shows up behind Felicity and points her gun at Meghan, ordering her to give up the Jell-O. Meghan snots that it only counts if Elena has her name. Elena holds up the piece of paper with Meghan's name on it. Meghan pauses, so Elena shoots her. Meghan hands the Jell-O to Felicity and her name to Elena. She bitches to Felicity, "I thought getting some would have loosened you up a little, but damn, you're worse than ever." I love Meghan, especially Season One Meghan. Felicity thanks Elena.
Ben walks into the living room of the loft and says hello to Julie, who asks way too casually whether he's doing anything Wednesday. Ben says that he has plans and asks why. Julie says there's no reason. Ben watches her and smiles, then walks over to her and kisses her neck and asks if she really thought he'd forget her birthday. Julie says she hasn't seen much of him lately. Ben says that he has a whole thing planned. Julie wants details, but Ben says it's a surprise (which means that he has no clue what he's going to do and is just buying time). Julie is happy. Ben asks if she wants to come to the bar with him after class. Julie snots, "You're going out with Lynn again?" Ben says that he's just dropping by to say hi. Julie says she'll just go to the dorm after class, and Ben says he'll call her when he gets back.
In the library, Sean takes some deep breaths, and then walks up to Chloe and says hi. She's busy typing something on the computer and tells him to hold on, but he ignores her, introduces himself, and then asks her a question about archeology. Then he asks her out. Chloe asks him to repeat the title. Sean says he just asked her out. Chloe is surprised and then says she'd love to but...Sean assumes she has a boyfriend. Chloe says she doesn't know her schedule because she lost her Day Planner. Sean grins.
Musical montage. Julie lies on her bed and glances at the clock, which reads 1:35 AM. Ben is in the bar, drinking with Lynn. Sean and Chloe walk down the street together happily. Elena and Felicity walk down the hall in the dorm and run into Noel. Elena asks who his target is. Noel says he has Felicity. Elena says that they have to shoot each other. Elena asks them both, as a friend, to raise their guns, because it will be therapeutic for them both. Noel warns, "Elena." Elena tells them that they're both disqualified and walks off. Noel asks Felicity if they should go talk, and Felicity agrees.
Felicity and Noel walk into Noel's room. Awkward pause. For, like, ten minutes. Finally, Noel says, "Look, last night? That's not what I wanted to happen. I was a little drunk." Felicity says that she hates everything about this. Noel says that he does, too, and he can't stop thinking that he waited for Felicity to get over her feelings for Ben, and it was the easiest thing he's ever done, but Felicity couldn't even wait one night for Noel when he was confused about Hannah. Okay, the difference is that Felicity never asked Noel to wait for her to get over Ben, and they weren't in a relationship then anyway. Felicity carefully weighs her words and says it sounds like Noel was testing her. Noel says that it wasn't a test, but he never thought...he stops before he digs himself a deeper hole. Felicity says that she never thought she'd do that either. Noel admits that he did something wrong, too, and he knows it, but when it came time to make a decision, he stopped, and maybe he should be able to forgive Felicity, but he can't. Felicity looks down at the floor, then says that he just left with Hannah, and she doesn't know if she can forgive him either. You go, Felicity! Noel stares at her, then looks down and says he guesses they are breaking up. Felicity softly says, "I guess so." The camera switches to a shot from outside the window, showing Noel and Felicity sitting far apart, not looking at each other.