So, here we are again. Now Calvin has been inflicted on House of Nami. Naturally, the Emerald kids are glad to see him gone. Calvin, meanwhile, is loving the drama. He doesn't care if the Nami peeps want him or if the Emerald kids hate him. David says that having Calvin join their team felt like a kick in the stomach. He who kicks David in the stomach is a scourge on the fashion planet and must be stopped. Stopped! Things aren't great for Emerald though. In fact, Tamara thinks that their House can still manage to go haywire.
The designers meet Iman on a stage. She tells everyone that, in the tradition of Mata Hari, Barbara Stanwyck and, um, vampires, the challenge is for each House to create a collection inspired by femme fatales. Vampires? The show will happen the day. Everyone immediately gets to work designing their collections. It appears that all of them are inspired by a 1940's aesthetic. As the designers are choosing their fabrics, Dominique cracks that, even if their garments are ugly, they always choose pretty fabrics. Also, she's very sad to not be working with Cesar.
Tamara doesn't feel the same way though. She and Cesar butt heads over the direction of their collection. Tamara really has a lot of problems merging her vision with that of others, doesn't she? They present their ideas to Isaac and tell him they're going for a Disco Vampire aesthetic. Sounds like a recipe for disaster and possibly adds a completely new meaning to having a DJ save your life. Vampire-slaying DJ, anyone? Isaac seems to really love Tamara's idea, but doesn't he always say that? Never mind. Cindy is going for a super-low cut dress and Isaac says that she needs to be mindful of not having a garment that looks cheap.
House of Nami is going to try to present the dark side of the '40s. Eduardo is going to make a short dress and Isaac really likes the idea. Dominique likes the idea of an oversized trench, which Calvin fights. Isaac, however, says that they should go with the idea.
They all get to work and problems arise immediately. Tamara worries about not being able to finish. Golnessa says that she's trying to have some danger in her look. Rolando, meanwhile, is just worried about his garment being ridiculous. The odd friendship between Tamara and Calvin continues. He tries to talk her out of making her look in all black, but, not surprisingly, she's too defensive to take the advice. Granted, I'd sooner take Ipecac whilst wearing all white than take advice from Calvin. Golnessa found her danger. It's in the form of a crazy-looking dress. She doesn't know how to finish it and says that she can't work when she's frustrated.
Ronaldo surprises himself by actually getting along with Calvin. Eduardo, however, is worried about Ronnie. The House of Nami had agreed to use purple as a prominent part of their color story, but there's no purple in Ronaldo's look. Eduardo thinks that Ronaldo has relied on Cesar up to this point. Luckily for him, Cesar still helps Ronaldo, even though they're not on the same team! Also, Tamara and Calvin are still buddies. In terms of the rigors of the competition, she says that she's used to not sleeping, much like a disco vampire. Ronaldo, however, is simply used to not eating. He actually fits into the dress that he's making.
Golnessa is still having problems finishing her garment. Cindy is worried about her and doesn't want to lose yet another challenge. I don't know that she's going to be able to change that for this one. Eduardo gets the extra hour of work that he won during the last challenge and really enjoys the quiet. He has a BA in Industrial Engineering. Weird.
The morning, Calvin jokes to Tamara that he garment looks like it belongs on a hooker. Can't really argue with him there. Well, the show is going to begin with House of Emerald. Jeffrey thinks that Cesar's look is very dramatic. Cindy is officially panicking about Golnessa's unfinished look. Stefan pushes them all finish. The crowd is filling in and Dita Von Teese is there! She's the guest judge. God, she's so gorgeous. The show begins with Tamara's look, which is a horrible red pantsuit. The top is leather and no. Golnessa's look has come together alright, except for the back which is a total mess. Cesar's dress is purple, with red fabric on the boobs. That's a mistake.
The House of Nami is getting ready to go on. Calvin says that his dress is shiny and slutty and evil. I hope to never have confirmation of the slutty part, but otherwise that completely describes Calvin too. The show begins with Dominique's look, which is very good. Wow, all of these are pretty good.
Afterwards, the judges come out and tell the designers that the winner of the challenge is... House of Nami. No surprise there. The loved the sophistication of their fabrics, Dominique and Eduardo in particular. The winner is Eduardo! Again! His prize is immunity in the challenge. If he makes it to the finals, he'll get an extra $500 for his collection too. Isaac encourages him to go wild with his designs. Iman asks him who he thinks the weak link on his team is and he picks Calvin. Isaac plays contrarian and says that other members of his team are probably weaker.
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Isaac, Iman, Dita and Laura Brown meet with the losers. Dita doesn't even feel like they made an actual collection. Cesar gets his first negative critique when Dita tells him he's trying too hard. They rave over Cindy's look. Isaac thinks it's femme fatale at it's best, but Dita is not fond of the back zipper. They HATE Tamara's look. Iman thinks it looks like a swashbuckler and Dita thinks it's from a 1982 sales rack. Perhaps the Jaclyn Smith Collection? Not enough jokes are made about the Jaclyn Smith Collection. Let's all change that together. Golnessa gets some hate too. Iman says her dress could have been made by her own nine-year old daughter, neglecting to mention that the child is the spawn of a supermodel and David Bowie and therefore it's completely within the realm of possibility for the child to solve world hunger, much less make a stupid dress. Jeffrey gets shamed for making something that Isaac has "seen." Tamara and Golnessa are in the bottom and Tamara is OUT OF FASHION. Isaac holds Tamara's hand, which I think is very sweet. The real surprise though is Calvin who cries and says that he wants to take Tamara's place. I think he just means in a sort of rhetorical way, but he'd better watch it!
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.co
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