So, it looks like these guys may have used their hiatus wisely. Immediately, there is an air of seriousness and purpose that season one couldn't touch. Each week, one of two fashion Houses have to create collections. Iman tells us that one house will win and a designer from the losing team will be sent home. The finalists will create entire collections and the winner will be featured in Harper's Bazaar and get $125,000! Of course, we start with some choppy shots of New York a la Project Runway, but that's OK. Just establishing where we are. And, we waste no time meeting our first designer. It's Jeffrey and he's 26 and appears to have some flare. He's tattooed and fabulous. He has wanted to be a fashion designer since he was seven. His forte is mixing men's and women's wear. He walks into a cold warehouse reminiscent of a mid-'90s music video as he VO's that he was told to bring a look that represents who he is as a designer. Here's some guy, Stefan Campbell, who is a fashion show producer. He's got a headset on and a clipboard in hand and he is MOVING. I like him already because he scares me. Behind him are a slew of, dare-I-say? actual models. Stefan barks at Jeffrey that he needs to pick one of this stack of sewing kits. He does and it has the number seven in it, with a corresponding model. That's also his order in the fashion show. The one that's taking place shortly. Stefan barks at him to get moving!
, Cindy, who is 27 and from LA, enters. She tells us that, when she was growing up in Mexico, her mother would dress her in loud outfits that she always wanted to take apart. That was her start in fashion! Then, they all start coming in. Stefan starts steering people to a prep area. This guy Calvin Tran tells us that he has three stores in the US, so he's apparently super-successful already. Well, have fun on this show. Calvin says that he wakes up every morning wanting to be a good person, but, by 3 o'clock, the bitch comes out. I would suggest to Calvin that this may be a blood sugar problem and perhaps he should keep a Clif Bar or maybe a container of almonds in his desk for those post-lunch dips. Cesar is 44 and from Miami and already I like him because he has a kind face. He says that his partner died from colon cancer a year and a half ago, and he would have been a nurse had he not been in fashion. He took a break from fashion after his tragedy and this is sort of a reintroduction for him. That's very sad. Here's Dominique, she's only 21 and is feeling a little insecure about it. But, like all young bucks in fashion, she expects to give everyone a run for their money. Stefan's really pushing all of them to get ready for the show. He is truly scary. He's going to be a star.
The designers go to the stark runway and stand beside it. The show starts and Jeffrey is psyched because this is his first ever fashion show! He's going to be fun, this Jeffrey. Calvin's dress comes out and he tells us that he loves to drape and that's his signature. He doesn't BELIEVE in line or seam. Rolando, who is 24 and from Houston, tells us that he stood out in Texas. His designs say, "Let me liberate you." Francine says that other people's garments look like student work and she has a good chance of winning the competition. Tamara is from the South Side of Chicago and couldn't do what the other girls could do, but she wanted to show them that she could do something well even if it wasn't double-dutch. Eduardo, who is 40, thinks he is seriously great. His work is up here. Everyone else's is down there. Mike Vensel tells us that he has seen over 300 fashion shows and really understands the runway. Apparently, you can't have knowledge in fashion without being an asshole about it. Here's David D'Angelo Caldwell. He is 30 and cute! Eyes, dimples, hair. Go David. He tells us that his collection is Return of the Greenpeace Yuppies. Which, if I gather, is a reimagining of the '80s, as interpreted by aliens? I don't know and I don't even like the design (it's kind of a summer camp creation) but I like the spirit. Cesar sends a dress down the runway that has but one seam. Golnessa tells us that she wants to be famous. As a fashion designer.
The show is over and Iman comes onto the runway! Everyone shits themselves. She shows pictures from her career working with different designers. Dior, Galliano, etc. She says that their first challenge is to create a look using Iman as a muse. They should use her story, her style and her prickly personality.
Iman says that the numbers that the designers chose earlier have divided them into two houses. The Blue House and the Green House. Calvin realizes that he's going to be working with others and says, "Oh, here go hell come." I didn't make that sentence structure up and actually admire it greatly.
Commercials. The guy on the State Farm commercials is like some sort of Pied Piper. Completely compelling yet maybe a little evil. Iman says that, since they have been divided into Houses, the looks that they create must work, not only for the challenge, but also as a cohesive part of the House's collection. Once they have created their collections, the Houses will convey their runway vision to Stefan. This is cool. I like that drama on the runway is a possibility and left up to the designers. So, for each challenge, a House will win and one of the designers from that House will be the winner. And, a person from the losing House will be sent packing. OK, so Iman does this thing when she says that someone loses -- it's incredibly dramatic and rehearsed. I hope that there will be MUCH more of that. She says that they will be mentored by "the incomparable" Isaac Mizrahi. Iman says that she expects to be wowed.
The teams split and go to the workroom to work with mood boards and sketching and start thinking of names. Dominique giggles near David, then interviews about how cute she is. But, she says that she is NOT looking to be falling in love here on this show. She's done the "fashion designer straight guy" thing before and she's not sure she believes it. Apparently, this girl has something against unicorns. Who cares? Welcome to the gun show. David is our host. Her team, the blue team, decides to take the name House of Nami. That's Iman's name spelled backwards. Clever. Mike talks about being inspired by Iman's journey from Africa. It's a mix of tribal influences and the sophisticated.
Francine, of the green house, suggests House of Six, because that's how many people are on their team. Calvin, who has serious issues with tone and delivery, at least if he wants to live another day amongst these people, barks that if they lose there will be fewer than six people. Tamara says that she really doesn't care what they are named. So, Jeffrey offers House of Emerald Syx, to bring in the green part. It's a go. Golnessa interviews that Calvin is already making himself known as a jerk. They discuss colors and Calvin is barking about what color he wants. He's a mess. He says they should pick a leader, but no one agrees because they don't want to pick someone this early in the competition.
Here's Isaac! Mike's not impressed because he sees celebrities in LA all of the time. He's here to look at everyone's stuff. He starts with the House of Nami. Cesar explains that they are all going to use white, and Isaac warns that a lot of people use white as a gimmick. Mike explains his design that will have this tribal beading stuff going on in the back and Isaac tells him to not get too caught up in the beading action. Dominique presents her idea for a shift dress and Isaac loves it, especially how short it is. He thinks that's very Iman. He says that they should work to see how the clothes move and reminds them that they have Dominique on their team. Then, he makes some sort of joke about how skinny Rolando is and he's all, "Did I just get called a girl?" But, Isaac is positive that Rolando is a size 4.
Isaac talks to House of Emerald Syx. Francine is playing with ruffles. Tamara's design idea has fins on the side and Isaac warns her that, though a designer might think they're doing something fancy, they're just making their model look fat. Calvin wants to make a dress that can be worn in different ways, but Isaac reminds him that a model will only be wearing it one way on the runway. He feels like their collection is all over the place. Calvin says that, for this challenge, he will let the team do whatever they want, which of course makes everyone angry. Isaac is worried about them.
They hit the fabric store. Everybody finds what they need and tries to spend as much of their allotted money as possible, which is 600 bucks per House. Mike says that the money needs to be split evenly between each designer. Later, they head to the apartments where they will be staying. This show has really sexy lighting. Golnessa tells her roommate, Cindy, that this is the first time she's had a bed in years. She's from Iran originally and now just has a tiny place in LA with a sewing machine. That's rough.
In the boys' apartment, Rolando insists that he's actually a size 2 and Cesar and Eduardo are teasing him that he isn't. David with tank top, is listening. He interviews that being a straight dude designer makes him a minority. He is perceived as gay a lot of the time, but people realize that he isn't after knowing him. They ask him how old he is. He says 30. Pause. Then, he adds that he has a 33-inch waist. Heh. Francine says that she's not afraid of the competition.
The day, they all get to work. Dominique is making a sexy, yet not "boobs and butt," dress. Cesar says that his work is clean and timeless. The Emerald Syx kids get to work. Maybe they're making this happen. Wait. Calvin says that whenever he messes up something on his dress, he's just adding diamante accent. So, his dress is almost completely covered in tacky, which Jeffrey says that he never discussed with them. Calvin laughs about it in, seriously, a really demented way. Cesar helps out Eduardo with a technique to work his fabric, but his idea is time-consuming, so he's going to adapt his design. Mike has created this thing on his dress that seriously looks like a noose. David finds the situation "weird." Mike is happy with his concept.
Everyone notices that Golnessa and Cindy are always on the same page. That's because they're business partners. They've created a line together. They met in college. They both apparently auditioned and made it onto the show. Calvin is not happy. Golnessa is excited to beat Cindy.
Model fitting time. Golnessa tells us that Calvin's idea for the runway show was to have the model's stand as statues with fabric on top of them until it's time for them to walk. The House of Emerald Syx seems troubled. Dominique is having some problems with her dress. Cesar doesn't like the noose on the model. He talks Mike into taking it off of the model's neck.
Back to work, Rolando says that he is nervous. Dominique comments that Cesar's craftsmanship is excellent. He finished earlier and is helping everyone else now. Francine's ruffles for her dress are taking a long time. Calvin, who is seriously fucking insane, helps her, but it seems like he's screaming at her the whole time. He also apparently sewed it wrong. He tells Tamara that she didn't even thank her for his efforts. She is kind of a jerk too. Cindy's worried about her finished. But, time's up!
The morning, Calvin does some tricep dips. David does some upside down push-ups. Calvin does those too! Rolando puts on make-up and they joke about not wanting visible lines. At the runway place, they have hair and make-up consultations. There's a dust-up between Francine and Calvin because she doesn't like the eye look that they're using and everyone else had voted. Calvin is a total bitch about it, but I think she crosses the line a little bit when she says that he can't even talk so why doesn't he shut the eff up. No, you shut the eff up! No, you! Seriously. The runway are fills with spectators including Isaac, Iman, Rachel Roy and Laura Brown from Harper's. The show begins. The House of Syx show is a little weird with the statue thing. Tamara's dress is hard to walk in. Jeffrey's model forgets to take off her coat. Cindy's jumpsuit is beautiful. From the front. Francine's ruffles are not good. Calvin's dress is cheap. Overall, their collection is really garish. Mike says their show was so bad, they'd have to not finish three garments and dip them in a pool of blood to lose. He has weird influences.
The little snippet in the middle of the show is David with this tiny keychain movie camera. He keeps playing with it and interviews that he loves to play and is like a five-year old. He's as cute as that little boy on laughing gas.
House of Nami's show is much better. Mike's dress looks much better without the noose. David's is architectural and is made with a paper-like fabric. Dominique's dress looks great. It's fitted in front and loose in the back. Eduardo made a short cocktail. Rolando made a short dress with a long train. Looks good, but he may have a problem with taste in the long run. Cesar made a long dress with a zebra print. Gorgeous.
Later, Iman and Isaac meet the designers. Jeffrey interviews about how much he loves Rachel Roy. They say they liked the cohesion of Nami's collection and the colorful spirit of the Emerald Syx. The winner is House of Nami. No surprise there. Isaac likes things about all of the designs, but Cesar is the winner. If he makes it to the finals, he will get an extra $500 for his collection. Cesar says that he doesn't want to sound egotistical, but he is proud of himself. That's sweet, because it doesn't sound egotistical AT ALL, especially to the comments of these other cats.
The Emerald Syx have to speak to the judges, including Rachel Roy and Laura Brown. Calvin says, "We are loser." Laura says that Francine's dress looked like it came from Strawberry. Heh. The ruffle was like a limp corsage. Iman would wear Cindy's jumpsuit but doesn't like the back. Cindy wants Calvin to go home. They noticed that Tamara's dress was too short. Iman hated the jewels on Calvin's dress. She says it is a fashion emergency and there was an evacuation. Rachel thinks that they should have picked a leader.
The judges confer and the designers come back. Jeffrey can stay. Calvin is told to not move. Golnessa can stay. Cindy can stay. Francine can't move. Tamara can stay. "This is the Fashion Show. I'm sorry, but Francine you're out of fashion." Ouch. She bitches in an interview that she doesn't agree. She didn't like anyone on her team. Jeffrey interviews that their House has to pull it together and he puts his arm around Calvin on the way out.
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com