Previously, Chiana tells us, John snagged Aeryn off the Katratzi way station, leaving Scorpius behind. And now on Farscape: whirling jagged strips and stripes of metal bite and catch at Scorpius from every angle as War Minister Ahkna asks him where it hurts -- "Here? Or here?" -- and frells him again. He pants under her heat breath and is obviously in great pain; she stops for a sec and tells him even "the smallest secret" might earn him an hour's peace. "I've been searching my whole life for a female like you," he says lasciviously, and buzzes his tongue at her like his anagrams are showing. She's grossed out, hitting him once more with the heat, and he throws back his head and screams. Much like with Sikozu, you have to wonder if this is actually a problem or if he's really hitting on her or...I don't know. It's Scorpius. He dresses like that on purpose.
Lo'La flies on with the family inside as we get our explanation of what's happened between chapters. Rygel and John discuss whether or not the Plan is genius or madness -- "You know there's a very fine line between the two" -- and Rygel says the difference is that geniuses make plans. Aeryn: "We're going to walk into the most heavily guarded base in the Scarran Empire, start a civil war, and walk out with Scorpius. What part of that do you not understand?" Ah. So we're all caught up now, then.
Sikozu and John grin at Aeryn because of her awesomeness and also that of the plan. Rygel wonders how the two of them can even believe it'll work, and D'Argo tells them Lo'La's finally been spotted. Down below there's an awfully ravaged planet; Lo'La flies down between the Scarran freighter and a Peacekeeper Command Carrier. Sikozu answers the Scarran hail, then tells Chiana the intriguing thing she just said, which was that they were escorting John Crichton, who wants to join the negotiations. I love how between each episode fifty awesome things happened and we're just getting on with it. I wish we could do this in real life. Like we'd meet for coffee and you'd say, "Remember? It's just like when you got your MBA." And I'd say, "Or that time you lost all that weight!" And then we'd talk about remember when I met David Walliams and we got gay married on a mountaintop, and wasn't that a to-do. Chiana thinks maybe telling them they've got John Crichton in the backseat is a great way to get blown to hezmana, and then the Scarran transmission comes through with docking clearance, and Sikozu sniffs at her. It's hard to remember he's a player, because he's never played the whole time.
1812 gives John something and he thanks it tenderly, as Rygel reminds everyone they could still change their minds. While D'Argo does admit the truth of this, on the other hand they've just passed Jenek's freighter, so probably Scorpius is nearby. He does not say anything about Grayza's Command Carrier, but he's not one to over-explain simple visual symbolism. Chiana peers down at John's little project he's working on, which is a device with one round knob and several blinking lights: "Mankind's greatest contribution to the absurd. The thermonuclear bomb." Of all John's cruddy/awesome plans, I like the ones where you actually say, Are you kidding me with this shit? He radicalizes himself, makes himself radioactive -- makes himself on the outside what his particular brain makes him on the inside -- and that's how we'll slip between Grayza and Ahkna both. Not through science and not through violence either. And not through power.
Inside the base, Commandant Grayza addresses Emperor Staleek, the Most Beautiful Scarran Of All Time, who, even though his dickpiece on his suit is kind of scary and pointy and shouldn't be on TV, is still a total badass. They are attended by Captain Braca and War Minister Ahkna. It's a chess game. Grayza: "Emperor, despite your War Minister being a lying sack of piss, you do need to know that I am only moderately lying about everything and that I would totally rape you for peace." I'm paraphrasing, basically. Other people at the table include assorted Scarrans, Charrids, and Kalish. No long-necks, I don't think, because this is a meritocracy: pretty Scarrans only. Oh, and Charrids.
"Every day you fail to take [peace] seriously," Grayza threatens, "we build more and more wormhole weapons. Soon the urge to use one will become irresistible." I wish everybody on Earth would be that honest, like how Kim Jong-il is constantly like, "This nuclear arsenal is burning a hole in my pocket!" Staleek's got the Cold War figured out: "Not to interrupt your bluster..." Gorgeous and funny? He needs to meet John, they've got a lot in common. Cue the door opening and John and Aeryn walk in, with swagger to spare. Staleek nods and goes on: "...But we have a guest who should make these talks even more amusing." Grayza greets him by name, he won't look her in the eye, just indicates he's "with partner," and tries to get the meeting going again. "What did we miss?" Staleek's like, "Not to interrupt your huge balls-out thing you've got going on right now, but how come you are so stupid? I should totally just have you disappeared right this second." John throws back his coat and shows Staleek his nuclear device, which juts up at an angle and, as I said, has a knob at the end. It's beeping, though, which is unsettling. "Plutonium core, tritium shell. Does that translate?" It does, and Staleek knows what it is: "A fission bomb." The stupid Scarran guards totally pull on John, and Staleek's like, "Put those down! God!"
John admires Staleek's excellent bright red outfit and intuits that he's the Emperor; Staleek growls just a bit. John steps toward the table and explains that there are "multiple dead-man sensors" attached to him, "from every culture on my ship and a few cultures I haven't heard of." Commandant Grayza folds her hands on the table like a good girl. "My heart stops, we all go boom. My heart speeds up, it's boom again. Too hot, too cold, too happy, too sad, thirsty, hungry, bored...it's John Lee Hooker time. Boom, boom, boom." And also, Ahkna, none of that psychic shit. "Kaboom, and we're all pushin' up day-glo daisies." War Minister Ahkna, because it's what she says whenever she opens her mouth: "Why do I doubt that?" As in, "You say it's a bomb? You say you have wormhole weapons? I doubt that you do, and now I'm going to kidnap you and make a bioloid duplicate." Why does she doubt that: "Because you lack imagination?" I love John Crichton.
Staleek asks what he wants. "What do I want? What do I want? I have not been chasing my ass all over the galaxy trying to pull out chunks of my brain. I have not been sneaking fembots ["Bringing Home The Beacon"], and Skreeths, into the places where I live. You want something! You. You want what's inside my head. You want what I know about wormholes. Because I," he says crazily, madly, brightly, bravely, climbing up onto the table and going on a little walk around it, "I can leap tall galaxies in a single bound. I can scorch planets with a wave of my hand." He points to the Scarrans, the Charrids, the Kalish. To Grayza: "And you, and you, and you: you can't do jack." Grayza narrows her eyes, but there's pleading in them too, and it's kind of a sad little moment for her. This is a sad little episode for my girl Grayza. "That's. Not. True," she says. Because if it were, the Cold War would be over, and her people would be overcome forever, and the peace would not only have failed, it would be wiped out. So it's not true, because it can't be true. And that's her whole life, right there. She's more admirable than not, I think; she's in parallel with Sikozu more than anything. Sikozu and Ahkna, of course. She's not Crais or Scorpius 3.0, though she is an insane military commander and she is both powerful and dangerous, but really she's just somebody in a position to get things done. Somebody who put herself into that position. Not out of hate of the Scarrans, like Scorpius, but out of love for Sebaceans. What's worse than a bad bad guy? A good one. Which means, to my mind, that her failures, though they generally do benefit the cast, are not to be celebrated.
"Oh, really? You command the stars to do your bidding?" He hunkers down in her face: "I know you can't. ...And you can't, and you can't. And you won't." Aeryn smiles up at him, at peace by his side even in the middle of this most dangerous room in the universe. "...But I have." Staleek asks why he's even there, then. If he's the superpower they all wanna be, why show up at all? "Because I am an American," he says, as the score goes crazy. "And what does an American want, democracy? Capitalism! I want to sell out and settle down. For one day only, it's a blue-light special on aisle three. My wormhole technology and a free set of steak knives for all the tea in China, and anything you can imagine to pay me." Ahkna's like, "'Pay'?" Yes. Cash. The Kalish murmurs, "He's crazy," and Aeryn smiles over at him: "Isn't it fun?" Andy bought me this season for my birthday several years ago and I'm pretty sure it's for that line, so he could rewind it and watch it over and over whenever he liked. "He's crazy!" "Isn't it fun?" John kicks things off the table like he's gone Coyote and welcomes them to his Cold War. "Now, what am I offered for all the powers of the Universe?"
Minister Ahkna, Captain Jenek, and Emperor Staleek are having a beautiful meeting. Ahkna, of course, thinks John's bluffing. I love how she's consistent, but that it's itself consistent with her character. This is a woman whose father was deposed, and one assumes murdered, by Staleek...into whose Cabinet she managed to get herself, and whose ass she is going to brutally kill the very second she can, getting the cycle going again and becoming Empress. And I wish her luck because she represents the kind of determination you see in movies like Gladiator -- something I find fairly lacking in the youth of today. "The bomb isn't real and he has nothing to give us. He's come for Scorpius." The voice of Eff You. Jenek is like, "Remember how they're buddies and they're working together, as seen in the last episode?" But Staleek's maybe the best one of them right now, because all he cares about is disarming John's nuclear knob. Jenek grunts and goes running for the info. Staleek's confused about why John would risk so much "just to rescue an ally," which would be even funnier, if he knew the whole story, and Ahkna puts forth the very Ahkna idea that he's working with Grayza to actually prevent Scorpius from giving us wormhole technology. Which, now that she mentions it, seems more probable than anything, and not something you'd ever think about. Even though it's actually closer to the truth than anything else, if you think about it. Staleek is like, "No way," and she points out that it was "Crichton's females" who rescued Grayza. I dare you to call them that in front of them, crazy lady. Staleek's like, "Right, by the way? That was awesome how you fucked even that up." She leaves, growling, even though they've not concluded their business in any way.
Rygel eats and Sikozu's got good posture as we go over everything for the race-riot portion of the plan. D'Argo's located all the surveillance devices on the base; Pilot's taken care of the whole comms-interception issue, even though last week that was a problem; John can run around the base being a visual deterrent what with his nuclear knob, which, come on, he's nicknamed Fat Man. I guess there's a downside to every relationship no matter how perfect the guy seems on paper. We've all got our little Fat Man trapdoors you don't find out until after you're in love. It's romantic, in a way. Aeryn tosses off a "you all know the plan, of course," which is a clumsy retro-engineered way to get the plan exposited...but not as clumsy as having Noranti go, "Ooh, I do? I mean, I don't." What's the point of all that? Chiana does jump over her head onto the table, which is a nice random little distraction, and she goes, "Wrinkles..." like "Come on," but it's still lazy writing. Rygel's got the Charrids, which is interesting, considering he has a whole hatred issue with them anyway, but maybe that's the point: it's either that he's got himself under control thanks to Katoya, or just that he knows Charrids best, or that hate makes you a better manipulator, or something else I am not thinking of. Sikozu's got the Kalish, Noranti's on Recon (fabulous), and Noranti supplies the last ingredient, pointing at John: "Peacekeepers!"
Aeryn and John just walk right the hell into Commandant Grayza's office on the Command Carrier. I love this season! "A peace conference with the Emperor? Very brave of you to enter Scarran space." Braca nods at them and follows them in, also "commending" them on their "bravery." Grayza just looks him in the eye: "John Crichton, do not destroy the Sebacean people." Which you have to admit, as an opening conversation gambit, is pretty solid. He tells her she's doing fine with that on her own, and she points out the basically true fact that everything she's done has been "calculated to gain peace." It's not so much that she believes the lie, it's that it's not so much a lie. Which is an ugly truth about politics that nobody likes to think about: everybody's got a plan and an agenda and a bunch of people backing them up. Crazies like Hitler are way rare, but if you think like a hammer, Grayza starts looking like a nail. Again: she's not there for revenge, which means her peace is sanctified and her intentions are good. Even when she fucks it up: "So you betrayed the Luxans? Maybe you should check your math." Yeah. Grayza's not really feeling that as a conversational topic, though: "Give us wormhole weapons and everyone will be safe."
John turns to Aeryn: "Didn't she say she already had that?" And Aeryn nods, disingenuously. Grayza would roll her eyes, if she weren't being sincere: "We are very, very close. You know that we have sent Prowlers into wormholes. If I can buy peace, even for an arn or two, perhaps we can develop them." John makes a good point, which is that what comes after peace is invariably more expansion: "And what will you do? Kill billions of your rivals? Hey, maybe kill us." He turns over three silver cups and begins a game of Find The Lady. The only game he can ever win. "Then name your price, Crichton. Anything that you can imagine." He tells her that's the rub, and then explains crowd-sourcing: "See, I can't figure a way out of this situation. But the first side that does, wins." He slides the three cups toward Grayza. Her move. And I agree with him, but there's also something to the fact that Grayza and Ahkna are both...doing the best they can. Which is a lot closer to the real world than, say, Darth Vader and whatever his plan is that I still don't understand, or Scorpius's plan which is based on being a child of rape, or Crais's plan of going "ARRRGH!" all the time. Crazy dictators happen, sure. But most of us are just trying our best, and that's why I like this Cold War so much: this episode could have been called "Nixon In China." (Well, since it's Farscape it would be more like "Sorry Bush Barfed On You, China," but remember when we didn't demonize and dehumanize our political enemies for ratings and the FOX News bourgeois theatre? Remember what it felt like not being a hair-trigger puppet of hatred and capitalist hegemony? Do our memories even go back that far any more? Stewardship, not possession, is the meaning of power. All else is arrogance and bullying. It's a lot harder to stomach these kind of context issues when the episodes are so much more recent.)
Outside Lo'La, Jenek's explaining to a soldier that the Moyans have negotiated their way onto the base for real and that they have access and free movement. Not bad, Fat Man. Chiana appears and approaches Jenek, whom she last saw when he had her tied to a table, about to take away her most basic bodily freedoms. After she so recently got herself back in one piece. This scene is essential if you know where to look: seems random, really not. She's not smarting off, she's taking back what's hers. "Let me ask you somethin'. You short-faced Scarrans, you all look alike, you know? But, uh, were you...were you, uh, down, down on the border station?" He says he was. "Then you were the one that ordered Aeryn and me to be cut open." He nods, and she laughs. Not happily. "Yeah, I got another one for you: Do Scarrans have mivonks?" She kicks them in their designated place, bruising her foot on bone and armor, and goes down, clutching her knee. "Yes, but they're not external." The Scarran soldier turns away, laughing.
A Charrid officer in some lounge, telling a story about what a frelling "hapooda" this Kalish is. I think that "hapooda" means "trelk" but I'm not sure. Could mean he kisses dudes, except I don't think so, based on a later use. D'Argo walks into the Charrid lounge and immediately calls them stenchy bastards, then stares around for a sec. "The Scarrans have nothing decent to drink, and I won't drink with the Kalish. Got any Raslak?" Start with an insult so they think you're hardcore, then imply that Kalish are hapoodas, and you're in. The officer points to a seat and D'Argo joins them. There's a passed-out Charrid sitting at the table; D'Argo pushes him onto the floor and starts sowing the seeds of racism.
A long-haired Kalish walks with a Charrid into a control room shaped like the inside of the TARDIS with lots of awesome curves and balconies for later. Lots of Kalish standing around, a flight of stairs in the center, PA scratching out Scarran. Sikozu steps out before an older, official-looking Kalish: "Secretary Vakali?" He asks what she's about, given that the area's restricted, and she tells him the Charrids are going to expel the Kalish from Katratzi by force. Vakali asks how she knows this, especially since she's wrong, and she just inclines her head: "Just like you, I am a devoted Kalish." Vakali points out that without the Kalish doing all the administration, the Scarran system of government would collapse, and walks off. She grabs his sleeve: "What if they fear you will take it away from them? Please, Secretary. We need to talk." The younger dude tells Vakali he's "too prominent" to be seen with Sikozu, and offers to talk to her. The Secretary takes off, and Sikozu sighs. How you gonna start a riot if nobody shows up for it?
D'Argo groans and coughs and drinks, sympathizing with the Charrids' treatment by the Scarrans. The officer wipes his mouth with his hand and asks what D'Argo wants. "Me? I've got what I want." They laugh at him: "You enjoy traveling with a group of thieves and a Hynerian slug?" He responds that he's banking, so yeah. The Charrids pay attention, and he indicates his "employer," played by Rygel the Slug. One of them laughs, "What is this? Dinner?" and Rygel looks at them regally. "This is opportunity." Fear and money: Kalish and Charrids. And without them, and the flowers, what are Scarrans? Nothing at all. This is the truth about authority, of course, but also about reliance on subjugate nations: they will go Afghanistan on your ass so fast once there's money and fear in the equation.
Sikozu follows the young Kalish around the control room as he fusses and futzes. "You will submit identification details before we can process a background analysis," he says, and Sikozu tells him to shove it. "You can trust me as I am, or I am gone." She looks deeply into his eyes, and debuts her new power for this week. Only it's not a power so much as it is a really upsetting thing she can do: turn her left eyeball all the way around in its socket to reveal a golden cat's eye marble on the backside. He's startled, she flips it back around again: "Now ,what of your background?" He looks around shiftily, then does the same thing. She sighs, and leans forward, her forehead on his, so much more intimate than sex, and tells you she's home. "How many other bioloids are here?" He tells her he's the one resistance member to infiltrate the base, and she asks how much hatred is there between the Charrids and Kalish: "Even more than the outer worlds; there's more at stake. Bigger egos." She nods. "Then I will be straight with you: we want to ignite that hatred and we want to use it as a cover for our escape. Will you help us?"
First of all, he's cute but not Karohm cute. He's like if instead of Supernatural DNA you had Roswell DNA in there. Secondly: the hell? Third, or maybe 2A: Sikozu's a robot? How come nobody told me Sikozu was a robot? So just to keep this straight: She's a bioengineered being of a slave race who's working with an underground resistance to free the Kalish from Scarran control. And that's why all the powers. Also: she is awesome. Also as well? We haven't even begun to crack her cover stories. Or her hair issues. (Strega : John's Hair :: Jacob : Sikozu's Hair in the Peacekeeper Wars. If you haven't noticed that yet.)
John and Aeryn get scanned by a Scarran DRD; 1812 shoos it away at John's request. If the DRDs are Moya's immune system, 1812 is John's personal histamine bodyguard. "That's a good boy." Aeryn wonders if Grayza's figured it out yet -- "Don't think so, she still looks pretty damned stressed" -- and notes that High Command is going to break her open if she doesn't come home with a peace treaty. John's not really invested in that: "I reckon." Aeryn nods at Fat Man: "As long as your stress levels are all right." John says his stress level is manageable, especially "considering the fact that we're now nuclear terrorists." (Complete the thought!) He stands behind Aeryn, smells her hair. "Bomb seems to think I'm okay." "Provided that thing's working," Aeryn says, looking at his face and then down at his knob, which is now beginning to beep faster and louder, and also light up. John's sheepish: "It's working." They laugh quietly and he leans into her. It goes louder. John: "Uh oh. You are dangerous." She shoves him back playfully: "Well, you better keep away then."
Emperor Staleek walks down a corridor, led by his armor knob and followed by Ahkna. Jenek steps up with a good scan of the bomb. "Sire...decoding it could take some time." Staleek tells him that's not exactly true, should Jenek "expect to prosper," and just keeps walking. The Emperor and Ahkna join John and Aeryn in the war room. "Couldn't figure a way to disarm my bomb, huh?" John sits at the edge of the table; Staleek offers him some more of the red blossoms that are in every room on Katratzi: "Refreshment?" John spits out the spiky red petal immediately, and Staleek and Ahkna grin: "Crystherium Utilia. An acquired taste." John calls it "streletzia hummingbird feeder" and picks it out of his teeth. He then fucks up majorly. "Bird of Paradise? Yeah. Mom's garden. Dime a dozen. Did you come all this way to discuss botany?" Staleek's jaw nearly drops but nobody sees him before his composure is back: Aeryn completes the sentence: "Or to make an offer?" Ahkna, as usual, calls bullshit: "Have you got anything to offer, or is all this just an elaborate bluff?" I bet Ahkna is just ridiculous about customer-service issues.
"Did you really lose my luggage? Or is this an elaborate bluff?"
"Did you not hear me say 'no mayo'? Or is this just an elaborate bluff?"
"I might be interested in a timeshare at Vail...unless this is an elaborate bluff!"
"Is that a nuclear bomb in your pocket, or are you lying about having wormhole weapons?"
John's like, "For real you don't think I can control wormholes? Because you totally stole my girlfriend and somebody's baby on the off chance, and you've got Scorpius Aurora'd but good on the off chance, and you haven't shot me in the face on the off chance, and the Peacekeepers are running all over your highly guarded secret base being rude to the waiters -- also on the off chance -- so like, for real?" Staleek's like, "Need proof." John and Aeryn, slickly, have just the patter prepared for this. Aeryn slides a data chip across the table to the Emperor, and John says they can meet him halfway. "Navigational data chip," Aeryn explains. "Local star chart. Send a ship to the designated coordinates, and let us know when they arrive." Ahkna asks, "Why?" and Aeryn tells her. "Proof." John starts to go wild again: "Command performance: we're gonna put on the wormhole show, just for you." Neither of them touches the chip, so John grabs it back again and offers to show it to somebody more interested. Like Grayza. Because Staleek is like a really, really tall fifth-grader, he is cowed by this maneuver, and takes the chip. He and Ahkna bounce, leaving John and Aeryn standing in the war room. Aeryn is wearing the biggest smile you've ever seen.
Emperor Staleek immediately dispatches a Stryker to the coordinates, via Captain Jenek, and asks if they've done any checking up on "Crichton's ship," Lo'La. I love how Jenek is like the go-to guy for everything, but I'm sure it's a flag officer kind of situation where Jenek's literally the ranking guy currently on Katratzi, so he kind of is. Jenek admits that Lo'La's force field is still impenetrable, but they're trying to override it. Staleek, ever hopeful, tells him to totally override it, and then check its logs and star charts and whatever else. Ahkna, predictably: "This is folly! Crichton plainly knows nothing about wormholes!" Staleek's like, "For once could you turn that gimlet eye back on your own giant stovepipe hat? You've been torturing Scorpius this whole time and anybody who's ever seen this show knows that wormholes are like the one thing he doesn't have under control. For somebody who hates maybes and thinks every yes is a maybe, you sure do love beating up that old perv." Ahkna's like, "I question even his zero knowledge about wormholes! Such are my powers of doubting!" She then runs off to torture him some more.
Scorpius drools; Ahkna commends him on his resilience, and he laughs through his drool that it's probably his Scarran genes making him awesome. Ahkna laughs, and he offers to trade places with her for a bit and find out. "How would you like to punish me?" she says, all 1-900-SLUT-GIRL, and Scorpius is like, "Give me an hour and you'll find out." I don't know if she's kidding or what. I do know that she's hilarious: "Oh, I wish we had more time. But what I need to know now is, what you do know about wormholes." That's the best line she says, but Scorpius is right there with her: "Well, torture me! And I will amuse myself with dreams of you." He does the tongue thing at her again. It's not quite as sexy as he seems to think, although mostly that's because he looks like a bedsore with frostbite, even on a good day. "Kill me and my knowledge dies with me," he grunts at her. But she questions even life and death with aplomb!
"Are you sure? Even if an old friend helped you to the other side?" Scorpius coughs and she steps to the side, revealing..."Stark!" Scorpius gasps, blown away. The thing about Stark right now is that he's got hair down to the collar, and it makes him like ten times even hotter than he was before. However, he is also being pretty normal. He's a pretty normal guy: "There's no way to escape, Scorpius. Not even into death. Because as you're making your agonizing passage to the other side..." He lifts his mask; brilliant golden light falls on Scorpius's face. He begins to scream and strangle. This is perversion. I don't like this at all. I want some answers. Stark: "...I am going to capture your soul, and with it everything you know." The light shines brighter and brighter, as Scorpius screams silently. Now in terms of Grasshopper's karma, he kinda went there first, as far as abusing the stykera state for his own purposes. Even if they were good purposes for bad reasons, it was still fuckin' creepy. But this...my Stark doesn't do this stuff. Not even to...hell, especially not to Scorpius. Let me tell you I was livid.
Around the scenery, after the commercial, Stark gets us the backstory from Season One. "Oh! I've waited many cycles for this, Scorpius. Dreamed so many sleepless dreams. Every dashed hope, every plunge into terrified despair, that I suffered at your hands in the Aurora Chair." We even get a helpful flashback of him screaming this one time. The light continues to shine, Scorpius shooting spittle all over the place as Ahkna watches. There are visual clues to the fact that we're seeing a parallel reversal here. And yeah, every season ends with goodbyes, but also a trip into the Lion's Den. So there's a poetic necessity to get Scorpius into the Chair, even if it's a different chair, and I guess having Stark here is a good shorthand for that, but I was creeped out by it because it not only cheapens Stark's actual character into incomprehensibility, but also shits again on the Banik stykera, and also on Zhaan herself: this is not the man she loved, nor is this my Stark. Not even Scorpius would make him go this way. I was horrified! I went all Ahkna Hell No on this part! "But rather than the two cycles that fate gave you to screw with my soul, she's only given me two arns to be finished with you. So, I guess I better be a little more imaginative." A soldier enters as Scorpius screams and chokes; Ahkna tells the soldier this seems to be a good idea. Scorpius jerks and drools and screams.
Noranti drags Chiana by the hand to a vent in the wall, and makes her listen: "That's Scorpius." It's so low-tech, I love that. Like, we're going to engineer this whole race riot and do all this stuff and turn the lights on and off and all, but they end up actually locating Scorpius because Granny was walking down a hallway. That's awesome. Chiana sends Noranti off to tell Crichton, while she tries to find out more. Well, I guess Noranti was on "recon," so maybe it's not just a coincidence. Still funny, though. Noranti heads over to John and Aeryn's room (John and Aeryn's room!) and they discuss Scorpius further. Noranti worries that he'll break soon, and Aeryn allows the possibility that he might have already broken. John comms for Rygel, and is ignored -- Rygel's workin' the Charrids all about how they could be rich if they worked for him -- so finally D'Argo's like, "He's busy, John." John comms Sikozu in the control room, and she tells him it's all going to plan. "Plan's too slow. Speed things up, please." D'Argo and Sikozu, on both ends of the Riot That Isn't Yet, are doing their best. "I'll need some time," Sikozu says as she watches the Kalish, and Aeryn grumbles. "Why do we never have enough time?"
One Charrid officer asks why he should switch to Rygel when he's already a general in the Scarran service, and Rygel drops the bomb that the Scarrans will soon sever all ties with the Charrids. Another Charrid calls him a lying slug: "They're going to war with the Peacekeepers!" But not, Rygel says, with Charrid allies. Just the Kalish. One of them laughs at him and it's funny: "The Kalish are just Techs." D'Argo says -- bringing us back to the beginning, the long way around -- that since the Scarrans are building a wormhole weapon, they need Techs more than soldiers. In the future, techs and soldiers will be the same thing, but the Charrids aren't quick enough to be both. It's taken us four years to get there. And, Rygel adds, the Kalish know this: "They're planning to sabotage the Charrids by embarrassing you in front of the Scarrans." The officer jumps up in Rygel's face and says they'd never be so bold, but Rygel laughs that Charrids are as stupid as the Kalish say. "Join me before the Scarrans throw you off this rock." Money for fear.
The Kalish functionary, Vakali, chats with Captain Jenek in front of a red schematic projection of the Fat Man. "All just spare parts mostly," Vakali says, and isn't it the truth, "salvaged from devices I've never seen before." Jenek says he doesn't care if it's made out of Vakali's mother's bones, he wants it disarmed. Vakali asks for a few days and Jenek gets up his nose: "You don't have them! Either you'll disarm it now, or I'll find some species that will." Jenek growls in his face and leaves; Vakali worries at the younger Kalish assistant, who wows. Just like Sikozu said! It is, like, scary how easy it is to start a race riot.
John and Aeryn bust ass down a corridor, with Chiana now. She's located Scorpius "somewhere on this level," helpfully, and Aeryn redirects her efforts: if they can't make it to Lo'La, they're going to need alternate escape routes. "To the surface?" Mmmm, Aeryn says, and Chiana takes off. John and Aeryn head into the Emperor's chamber, where Staleek is royally pissed. "You have cost me a Stryker and its crew!" John's like, wha? "How did I do that?" Staleek accuses the wormhole of eating them, but John knows better, and gets frustrated: "What did you do? Do not tell me you ordered them into the wormhole! She told you to call us when they got there!" Staleek yells right back that John should have warned him, and John's like, actually not my problem. On the other hand, "You wanted proof, you got it." Heh. Staleek asks if he actually opened the wormhole and John -- instead of admitting it's art and not science -- tells him no more freebies. "You wanna do a deal, or you want me to sell it to the Peacekeepers, so they can gobble up all of your warships?" Staleek does not respond well to threats; poorly enough that John and Aeryn step back. "I'm not threatening. I'm just a guy with something to sell. You don't want to buy it, I'm sure someone else will." They walk backwards, out, as he growls. The door closes in front of them, and John asks her if he pushed too hard. She shakes her head. "He'll make an offer."
Sikozu and the young Resistance Kalish walk together down a hall, and they are talking about Birds of Paradise. "An entire cavern just to grow the flowers they eat?" Kalish kid is like, "I know, right? And nobody's allowed in there." A Charrid soldier exits an elevator; the Kalish and Sikozu get in. The guy presses buttons. How come? "We don't know; but only the Charrids are supposed to have the access codes. So if anyone else enters the cavern, the Scarrans will assume the Charrids left it accessible. Like...this." He pushes two buttons at once, and the elevator doors close with a clank. He's stolen the codes. Which, of course, the Charrids will figure out, and then they'll confront the Kalish. Fear and money. Sikozu comms to John: "We've found a much faster way to incite a riot."
"Great, let me hear it. Later." John's all over the place: More riot! Less riot! More talking! Shut up! But this time it's for good reason: John and Aeryn are about to run into somebody we love. "Nice pants," John says to a passing Peacekeeper, and they both stop a few steps later. "Hey, Braca. You look a little lost." Braca won't look at them. "Does Mommy know you're here?" asks Aeryn, and John stage-whispers, "Does Mommy know he's Scorpius's boy?" Braca's eyes go wild and he walks back to them, quietly. "Oh, no! Mommy doesn't know!" He faces them down, stares into John's eyes: "Are you here to rescue him or kill him?" Man, I love Braca. This is the weirdest love quadrangle in the entire universe. Let's review: A robot cheerleader with magic powers, a whore-gland Commandant, a corpse in a bondage outfit, and...Miklo Braca. Half of whom barely rate as supporting cast. This is what's going on in the background.
Similarly, you've got Ahkna, Stark, and Scorpius, another torture-related whole thing I don't actually understand but always seems to have a certain creepy sex component. Stark's frelling Scorpius over and over again, sputter and spit and scream, when the lights go out. Ahkna tells Stark to get hidden, and John and Aeryn enter the room. "We're here to see Scorpius," John says, flashing knob at the guards. Ahkna tells him he -- but not Aeryn -- can come in. Aeryn nods, and John comes all the way in, toward Scorpius. "John," Scorpius says, gazing up at him. "Grasshopper," says John, looking down on Scorpius in his extremity: his head hangs, he pants and sweats. He's not in control of this. John looks from Aeryn, to Scorpius, to Ahkna, heading down off the platform toward her. "That's a nice hat." She thanks him with a heat breath; he goes to his knees. Aeryn yells at her to cut it out but the guard grabs her. "What did you say? 'Too happy, too sad, too cold, too hot'? Let's see, hmm?" She is now doubting John's physical responses to simple stimuli. She is so hardcore! Fat Man beeps louder and louder and its lights pulse faster and faster, and John struggles under her probe.
"I know you have a real nuclear device," she says, "but I'm sure you can disarm it." He groans, wiped: "I would, but I can't. So...I won't." Aeryn pulls but can't get free. "You're bluffing," Ahkna broken-records some more, and John grins as the beeping goes crazy. "So much for nuclear deterrence. Get ready to kiss your ass good-bye, Castro." She keeps him heat-breathed, the bomb going faster and faster and faster, about to blow...and then she lets him go. He falls on his face. Ahkna pronounces him insane, which: you think?, and tells the guards to let Aeryn go free. She grunts over to John and picks him up off the floor. She asks him if he's all right and calls him "mad." "Just played a game of chicken. Did I win?" She's not entirely convinced they're doing the right thing: "Just. This time." He groans that time she can take the initiative, and she is so awesome: "Frell it." She decides to take the initiative immediately, and starts towards Scorpius. John grabs her, begging not to start the ruckus just yet. She breaks off, walks out of the torture room, and John follows, glaring at Ahkna. Scorpius drools spit, leaning forward in the torture device. So close!
Sikozu whines that they actually found him and then just left him there, but John assures her that it's just not time yet. "That's why we're here," he says, indicating the elevator. A couple of Charrids get out and John wishes them a good morning. He is brutally rebuffed. Sikozu hurries onto the elevator, Aeryn and John behind. "As long as this helps start the conflict," Aeryn says, and Sikozu's like, oh totally: "Might even get yourselves killed." She presses the controls and stuff and John smiles: "Then we'll all go together." He waves goodbye to Sikozu as the elevator doors shut. Alone in the corridor, she shakes her head: "Good luck."
John and Aeryn stare at each other in the elevator. "Give me your hand. Put it on my shoulder." He puts a hand on her waist: "Come here." She smiles, her hands in his. "All right, now stand on my feet." She laughs and groans, looking down at their feet together. "Comfortable?" he asks, and she smiles. He nods at her, and begins to waltz. "Hold tight." Aeryn laughs, looking up at him in wonder, and puts her head down on his shoulder, smiling quietly, as they dance in the silence.
Rygel smokes from the hookah with the Charrids, who are still doubting that, Kalish or not, the Scarrans would ever drop their partnership with the Charrids. Rygel draws on the pipe, then coughs and laughs; D'Argo asks what partnership. "You aren't their partners. You're nothing more than ill-paid, ill-treated," Rygel pauses and sniffs, "ill-smelling servants." One of the Charrids growls and pulls a knife on him; D'Argo quickly urges a rethink on that one, grabbing him.
Aeryn's head is still safe on John's shoulder as the elevator door finally opens. "Is this our floor?" he asks, leaning against the door and looking out. "Don't know," she replies. "Have to get out and have a look around." He follows her. In every scene where the Fat Man matters, where bluster matters -- in every scene that is a lie -- Aeryn follows John, a step or two behind. Every scene that matters, every time they're alone, every time they're actually getting shit done that doesn't involve appearing some crazy way, Aeryn's in front. There's one perfect image in The Peacekeeper Wars, where two people in love, with their arms around each other, each aim their guns forward: protecting the six and knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that the other one's got things covered. They use it in Mr. & Mrs. Smith too, actually, that symbol. It's so neat. To see these kids who strive so hard and keep getting the hell beat out of them, suddenly -- after giving away everything that means anything, after sacrificing even unto what makes them who they are -- suddenly working in a balletic synchronicity, an abrupt click into place that is as beautiful, and graceful, as it is simple, and full of grace. It starts here, on Katratzi; it's just Plato, telling you to fall in love and mean it. Facing forward, facing back; leading or following. My side, your side: love gives you all the sides and every angle. Katratzi never stood a chance.
D'Argo's holding the Charrid's knife down when the alarm sounds: intruder alert in the Crystherium chamber." Guess it was the right floor after all; Aeryn and John walk down into a room full of Birds of Paradise. Something lovely and organic, in a shiny black room like that, gives me the creeps. This episode really works every angle it can, with the flowers. The simple fact that the Scarrans eat beauty, even if we don't know it yet. The light shining down on the field from above. A huge bloom opposite, against the wall. "Never knew Scarrans were so sentimental," John says, and they walk down into the flowers. He picks one, and wonders when the soldiers will come. She works her way back to him: "What do you want to do, to get noticed?" They laugh, as he pulls her down into the flowers: "Got arrested once. College. Let me show ya."
Split-second later, a group of armed Charrids hurry off the elevator, yelling to get the hell out of the flowers. John's whispered "damn" is heard from the field, and then they stand up. Aeryn blows her hair out of her face and straightens her clothes; John zips his pants back up. John says quietly, once again, "There's never enough time." They put their jackets back on and roll their eyes.
Staleek noshes on Crystherium Utilia, distractedly, as Ahkna paces behind him. Staleek demands of John and Aeryn where the codes came from. "Codes? We didn't need no stinking codes," John growls, and Aeryn turns her head to look at him. Ahkna protests -- since this is clearly an elaborate bluff -- that they couldn't have gotten into that particular and obviously hugely important cavern without the codes. "We didn't try to access anything. Some Charrids got off the elevator, we got on, we got off. Well, we tried to get off. We got interrupted." Ahkna asks him which Charrids, and Aeryn laughs in her face: "Are you serious? They all look alike." He tells her she should put numbers on their uniforms, and Staleek takes the opportunity to bitch at Ahkna about how the Charrid troops are her responsibility. She very smartly gets the hell out of there, promising a full inquiry.
The door closes behind her and Staleek hisses. John turns to him brightly: "You know, while you're at it, give me Scorpius." Just like that. Heh. Staleek's like, "How come? Because he's totally about to give up your secrets to the torture, even though so far no dice?" John shakes his head: "No, because the hat lady is pissing me off, and I wanna piss her off. Tit for tat. Call it a whim. And, I don't like watching people be tortured who don't know anything." It's very interesting, because in fact Ahkna didn't really do anything that shitty to John in this scene, but she sure is A) pissing Staleek off, and B) sure does seem to be getting nowhere with Scorpius. So really, the translation of what John just said is, "No, because the hat lady is pissing you off, and it would be fun to piss her off. Tit for tat. Call it my whim, not yours, and besides, we both know she's an idiot and paranoid and a naysayer, and Scorpius doesn't know anything. Don't we?" Because John is often awesome, and understands how to work The Man.
Stark caresses Scorpius's chin. "What do you know about wormholes, Scorpius? Tell me." He says he knows nothing, and Stark calls him a liar, and hits him with some stykera heat. "I said I know nothing! Know nothing!" Ahkna watches. Finally he sags forward in the chair. Stark approaches her, wriggling like a dog. "It's a normal part of the procedure. He's strong. Very strong. That means, when he finally breaks, it'll be all the more catastrophic." Fat Man stuff. Ahkna begins to threaten him, but he reminds her of his exact promise: only that he would break Scorpius. "Not that he knows anything, but if he does, you will know." Is this the hating of Stark that so many have claimed to suffer? Has it finally struck another victim? It is painful, yet exhilarating.
Emperor Staleek comes in and calls total bullshit on Ahkna's activities. "You wanted the information taken from him!" she protests, and he points at what's left of Scorpius, which is like a stain with drool coming out of it: "Alive! I said alive! And have you learned anything?" Nope. He tells her to shut it: "Crichton has destroyed a Stryker and found a way into the caverns, but you have achieved: nothing. Get out!" That's pretty hilarious when you put it that way, actually. She claims the torture chamber as her jurisdiction, and he reminds her that that's his prerogative. He sends both her and frigging Stark out, and the Scarran soldiers follow. Staleek gives himself a pep talk about getting the truth and approaches Scorpius. "I thought you said she couldn't harm you." Scorpius is...amazing. You can barely hear him with the strangled voice, and yet. Amazing. "She couldn't! I'm fine, quite fine. I've caused enough harm in my time to mimic it well." Ha! Staleek's like, "Meanwhile John's knob is scaring everybody, and also he ate some of us with a wormhole." Scorpius claims that he can separate John from the Fat Man -- which, think about that a second, because he's not wrong -- because John trusts him more than he realizes. Staleek's like, that would be so awesome. Unless you totally betray me because he's your friend. Staleek grabs Scorpius, who smiles at him. "I've served you for ten cycles as a spy. Why would I betray you now?" I'm so confused. Is Wentrask real? Did we know Scorpius was totally a Scarran spy? There are three people in this show that I can't remember their actual deal even when they just say it out loud. He's one of them. I mean, I'm pretty sure I know his actual deal, but who can say if it's true? The Peacekeeper Wars is like doing a Magic Eye after six tabs of acid about that stuff. "Betray me, and you will die in this machine. But deliver Crichton's knowledge to me, and all the power you seek will be yours." Scorpius pants and sweats and watches Staleek leave with some righteous hate in his face. He is so smooth.
A PK ship comes to Katratzi with something very interesting, as we see when Commandant Grayza invites John and Aeryn to her office. "I would like to make an addition to my offer." She hands John an official-looking plastic film with some kind of PK seal on it. "I'll have the kung pao chicken. You want a spring roll?" he asks Aeryn, holding the sheet out for Aeryn to read. "Actually," Grayza says, "they're a pardon from the Supreme Council. No Peacekeeper would dare violate them." John asks if it's true, and Aeryn stares at the films. "It would seem so... However, it is conditional." On not sharing wormhole tech with the Scarrans. Which is such a dumb idea that I couldn't blame them for hunting John down if he did. "What if we give these back?" Aeryn says they'll stay valid; not even Grayza would destroy them after signature. Braca: "I've witnessed them. So have all our principal officers." John lays them on her desk and says he'll let her know.
Two armed and armored Charrid soldiers drag Scorpius, gagging and moaning, down a corridor. John and Aeryn comm to the rest of the crew that Scorpius is on the move. "One riot, well done, hold the mayo...now!"
Sikozu watches a Scarran soldier getting weird with a Charrid officer in the Kalish Command Center, with the Secretary nearby, and tells John they're close. "Your troops compromised the security of the cavern!" and lots of protesting and bitching and whatnot. "This ain't horseshoes, or hand grenades. Now means now!" The Emperor enters, beautiful, Scorpius in chains behind him. "A bargain is struck. However, an agreement requires trust, which thus far has been one-sided. Now, you tell me what else you really want." Aeryn walks over to Scorpius, who has been dropped on a table, spitting and frothing and moaning.
"When you wake up in the morning, on your big Emperor bed, and you listen. What do you hear?" John circles around to stand with Aeryn. "Do you hear the little Emperor birdies singing outside your window? Do you hear the Emperor wind, whistling through the trees?" He stares the Emperor down. "Or do you hear people dying? Do you hear your friends begging for mercy? Do you hear doors being kicked in, because people are hunting you? Do you hear the sound of your heart, pounding in your ears?" His hands are calm, his bearing is strong. "What I want, Santy Claus... For the rest of my life, I wanna wake up like an Emperor." Staleek: "Your safety, guaranteed. In just a few arns." John scoffs: "Bill Gates can't guarantee Windows, how you gonna guarantee my safety?" Staleek shows teeth. "With great effort, and great sincerity." Before he turns to go, he sets the clock ticking: "Though at some point, my largesse will dissipate."
John and Aeryn look at each other. On the table, Scorpius gasps his appreciation, and John hisses down: "My ass." He grabs Scorpius, furious, and screams in his face. "Did you tell them?" Scorpius says no; John continues to act nuts. "Wormholes, my brain, Harvey. What did you tell them?" John puts his hand on Scorpius's throat as he's swearing he said nothing. "Listen up. I am Johnny Radiation because of you, Nosferatu. Everyone I care about west of the Moon is here, and in danger, to make sure that you keep your mouth shut. Now! Did you keep your mouth shut?" Aeryn gets worried. Scorpius promises again, and turns away, panting. John asks, as he's gagging, if she believes him. Of course she does. She knows how slippery this gets for John, and she's stepping in, watching his six.
"Good. Kill him and let's go." He drops Scorpius back, onto the table, and Scorpius opens eyes and mouth wide. "What?" John shrugs at Aeryn: "Kill him and let's go." Aeryn gapes at him. "We came here to free him." No, John clarifies: "We came here to make sure that my knowledge didn't slip out of his mouth. Kill him, Aeryn, and let's go." She considers him: "Oh, you want me to kill him?" And John's like, "I'm not the assassin here." She shakes her head, unhappy with all this. "If you want him to die, you can kill him yourself." John says she made him promise otherwise, and on his request she releases him from that promise twice. He thanks her, and pulls Winona on Scorpius's face. And waits. And stands, with the gun pointing down.
So this is happening on like six levels simultaneously. Let's work backwards. Aeryn's vow of protection, for Scorpius; John's corresponding vow; Scorpius's protection of John. Aeryn and John's unquestionable concern for each other. It's a triangle of mutually assured protection but also taint, and Aeryn brought that into their bed, and she did this thing wearing a coldsuit, and bearing secrets and mysterious babies. It's no coincidence that John brought up her assassination history: he's not talking about Velorek, he's talking about Harvey's Lovely Daughter. She releases him from this vow, this darkness she's introduced into his relationship, as she waves away the last of the secrets that stand between them. We know, although John still doesn't (although he um totally does), that she's only ever loved John. That the dark time is her propaganda and the ghost of her fear, and that she's tired of its weight. Getting bored with it. She's done the work necessary to enter into this relationship naked, no secrets and no armor, and so has he. No more Scorpius, no more Harvey, no more coy dancing around the baby, the physical and vulgar truths about it all. He can beg her for permission to shoot Scorpius in the head, and she'll give it again and again, but the universe laughs at him for asking her to do it herself. She already did. And while she was doing it? He was basically sleeping with Scorpius. Letting him in far enough that he earned himself a Harvey; a Harvey that asks, as he always does, to put Scorpius before Aeryn herself. Shoot him for you? No. As long as we didn't know who the father was, as long as we didn't know what Aeryn was up to, that baby was just Harvey in another form. She gave everything she had, and more, for that baby. Be a man.
"I'll give you my bike if you kill him," John whines, and Scorpius clears his throat: "May I speak?" They simultaneously say "No," without thinking about it -- she even waves her hand at him distractedly, looking into John's eyes. And he shakes his head. "He's tellin' the truth. We'll sort you out later." John holsters Winona; Scorpius falls back onto the table. How much of that was theatre? How much was an elaborate bluff? "I apologize in advance for any incivility or insensitivity on my part," says John on comms, "but it is beer o'clock. Where the hell is my riot?"
The Scarran tells the Charrid that there are logs showing a Charrid lieutenant having just returned from the cavern; the Charrid points at the Secretary: "Kalish documentation." Vakali walks over and asks what he's implying. Rygel giggles -- "Oooh, you're going to get it" -- and the Charrid says he's "implying" that the intruders couldn't have gotten into the caverns by themselves: somebody must have given John and Aeryn the codes. Vakali protests this "baseless accusation" and the Scarran soldier grabs them both by the lapels. "Find out where the fault does lie. I expect a full account from each side in less than two arns." He growls and releases them, walking away, and the Charrid splits from the Secretary to start shit: "Tear down the system to the foundation, find the leak," says the Charrid, and he runs back to Vakali: "You will not destroy my relationship with the Emperor." Vakali's like, "Um, WTF? This is a security issue?" They talk about how useless the security Charrids are, and the Charrid's like, yeah: "Ordering biscuits and repairing urinals has never won a war." Which, Vakali points out, the Charrids have also never done. Snap! He grabs him by the throat and holds him in the air, and calls him a hapooda -- "and I bet not a very good one" -- and apparently that's enough. I'm enough innately competitive that my second thought is, like, "Am I a good hapooda? Should I be practicing something? But what?" and then I'm like, "Gross. Chances are: No."
I had no idea race riots were this much fun, right, but that's when everything goes nuts and everybody starts shooting at everybody else. Which is thrilling, but remember also please that these are Kalish, so they're shooting at people from the walls and the ceiling and standing at difficult angles and climbing around quick as a flash. It's tremendously exciting. The Scarran comes back in like, "A race riot! Hell no," and starts whining into the PA. Rygel comms to John: "Now, leave now. And never doubt your Dominar again." Yes! This is so awesome. Everybody shooting! All the people screaming all over! Guns and explosions! Sikozu kicks some people through a fucking wall! Sikozu goes to her bioloid buddy and they put their hands on each other's forearms and say sho-kana-sho to each other and he tells her to run, so she does.
Ahkna hurries up all, "We've been sabotaged! Or something similar, but not exactly! The Charrids and Kalish are fighting, unless it is all an elaborate ruse!" and Staleek immediately comms for them to secure John. Ahkna corrects him: "You mean Scorpius, right? That guy I keep torturing? He's the one we have to grab. I'm not even positive that John Crichton exists." Staleek's like, "Scorpius isn't going anywhere." (She's like, "Anywhere doesn't exist! But he might be going there! With wormhole knowledge!" Staleek offers her a fucking fistful of spikes from the snack bowl. "Please don't talk again until you've had a grip of Crystherium Utilia and gotten over your pissing match with reality.")
Aeryn and John hurry through a doorway, Scorpius supported between them. John tells Scorpius they've "got a taxi waiting," and says it's the first rule of Piss-Poor Planning, of which he is the grand master: "Have your exit ready before your entrance." Scorpius is like, you caused a race riot? And John smiles. "Pretty cool, huh?" Scorpius says he's impressed, and a Charrid steps in front of them with a rifle: "Remain where you are or I'll shoot. Release your weapons, now." Braca steps out of nowhere and shoots the Charrid with a sexy little smile, then disappears again. "Braca?" Scorpius gasps, and John grunts. "Yeah. Feel the love, Mr. Burns." They hurry on and Scorpius thinks, "Not with Sikozu around... Oh wait, she's a total freak! Perfect! Is this Christmas?"
Chiana pulls Noranti through the riot of soldiers, getting all kind of trampled, and yells, "Frell!" They run up to a Scarran soldier and Chiana dissembles with her usual complete lack of effort, which is always hilarious: "Hey, can you help us? We're...um, afraid." Heh. The Scarran tells them to back off, and then Noranti gives him some Granny Blow and he twirls about before falling on the floor. "It works!" Noranti nods at Chiana. Everybody's so busy! I don't know what's going on!
D'Argo pulls Sikozu through a fight, with Rygel Jazzin' it after them, begging John not to leave without them. I don't know if it's a joke or what. D'Argo shoves Sikozu at a Charrid: "Warrior, can you take this Kalish piece of trelk?" He looks at her, and D'Argo smashes his face and he goes down. D'Argo and Sikozu nod at each other: "Nice." Rygel hurrying them along, she offers to try it again, and he pushes her at another one. "Warrior. Could you take this Kalish piece of trelk?" They're so funny, and so weird.
John, Scorpius, and Aeryn come down a corridor, with Lo'La actually in their sights. Scorpius gasps that even shrouded, she can't outrun a Stryker, and Aeryn tells him that they don't have to go far: Moya's disguised as an oil freighter in the shipping yards, and ready to starburst. Two Charrids appear and John is like, "Aeryn, could you...?" She hands Scorpius off to John and pulls her pistol. Scorpius babbles another negative, this time about how they can make a bargain, and John asks his where his nerve's gone. "Grasshopper, just stick with me. They ain't gonna pop Fat Man." Aeryn gestures for them to be quiet and looks out into the hangar; Scorpius suddenly drops to the floor, gurgling. John kneels at his side and tells him not to pass out. Scorpius lies perfectly still. Aeryn kneels too, and cocks her pistol at his head. "Get up, or I kill you now."
Commercial. Something's changed. You never end two acts on the same beat. Something's changed. She has her gun to his head and she's telling him to choose. He's doing everything he can to slow them down, and has been all along. The last thing he wants is off Katratzi, but we don't know that and we don't know why. Or if it's evil. (It's kinda evil, but not in a John-centric way like you might think. It's not terribly loving or gentle, and it doesn't really seem to take into account that the Cold War arguably what's keeping everybody alive in the whole U.T., which is okay in theory but shitty in practice.) "You need to know when a woman's serious," John advises, and grabs gagging Scorpius, helping him to his feet. Scorpius is now draped over John's shoulders, as he always was. "Okay," says Aeryn, shooting the ceiling above the Charrid soldiers and telling them to drop their guns. She shoots the ceiling again and rushes them, warning that they can't shoot without blowing up John's knob. John hurries in with Scorpius; Aeryn keeps her gun trained on them. They put their stuff down. "Well, there you go," says John. "Someone finally got smart." Oh, John. That's serious asking for it.
Scorpius starts to gag and bends over, and John shifts his hold on his arm: Scorpius straightens and hits Aeryn in the face, knocking her down, then brings the arm around and gives John a gut shot, dropping him as well. The Charrids quickly pick up their rifles from the floor and Scorpius kneels on John's back. Like he always has. John hyperventilates beneath him: "You stupid son of a bitch!" Scorpius apologizes and tells him to breathe deeply: the Fat Man is going wild with Scorpius on top like this. John struggles, but Scorpius pins his hands: "Now, if you trust me enough to live, you may well discover the truth." At the word, at the concept of trusting Scorpius, John goes wild, screaming into the floor; the bomb sends up an alarm. And John goes on screaming, with everything in the air that matters and a great big "To Be Continued" across his smushed face. That darn Scorpius!