John, in space. "D? Pilot? Can you hear me?" Of course not.
D'Argo stands at Moya's Command, with Aeryn and Sikozu at consoles. "Nothing," says D'Argo, and he turns, and walks away.
John looks down, at the American South and South America: "I can't believe I'm gonna die here. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
And D'Argo hears. He stops at door of Command: "John. Where are you?" John hears him over static and responds; D'Argo sighs and looks upwards, relieved. "Son of a bitch! How can you hear me?" Everybody stares at D'Argo, Aeryn turns to the windscreen. "I don't know," D'Argo admits. "The wormhole keeps opening and closing." John tells him slowly and carefully to do exactly as John says; Aeryn gives a tiny smile. "Lock onto my voice signal. When the wormhole opens again, follow it." Pilot listens in; D'Argo tells him they're leaving Sikozu and Scorpius aboard while they follow this latest in John's long line of terrible ideas. I love how he's finally got exactly what he wants, but he's going to go ahead and drag everybody down there with him. Chiana follows D'Argo down a corridor, complaining: "You can't leave feckface here!" D'Argo assures her they'll compensate for the general danger and creepiness that surrounds Scorpius: "I'd like you to begin to lock down all the systems." Pilot announces they're powering down and then closes his eyes with a slight sigh. "The rest of us are going after Crichton." Chiana says something ("Shee-yah!") that translates roughly to: "Fucking A." Because that worked so well last time. I hope they don't pay a horrible price! ...Again!
Lo'La exits Moya; D'Argo comms back: "Pilot? I don't see any wormhole out here." John floats above Earth in the Farscape One, singing "Five Hundred Bottles Of Beer." Do people ever actually sing that stupid song? Kids, who think they're supposed to. They are wrong. Pilot assures the worried D'Argo that his readings are correct; Aeryn's cool, because she's in love with a chaotic attractor: "Wait for it."
Chiana climbs up on the arm of her seat to watch; Noranti and Rygel stare out at the black. This is a terrible fucking idea! Like it wasn't bad enough watching everybody die in mixed-up unnatural ways last week! Aeryn watches; a wormhole finally opens directly in front of them. Lo'La enters; the crew gets knocked about as she navigates down toward him. Rygel busts hell out of his rubber ass, and they exit. Chiana laughs, joyful, to hear John's voice again over comms: "Six bottles of beer on the wall..." D'Argo checks on everybody; Aeryn grins a bit to herself. "He did it." D'Argo picks John out of the black and comms: "John! We're here! We made it!" John's smile is infectious even over radio: "You're early, I still got a six-pack!" D'Argo comes in behind John and picks him up.
John sits down behind D'Argo, shedding spacesuit, and asks for a radio signal. It's the little lines that tell you how far they've been, all the scars and paranoia that seem so normal until you trade them out into real life: "Coming in clean, John. Nothing's locking onto us." Uh, you're in Earth orbit -- all we've got is a bunch of trash and a Beatles song. "Just need to know what year it is."
"...On the Senate floor. Commenting from the White House, President Reagan told reporters the situation in Nicaragua had unraveled to such an extent that State Department considered..."
Aeryn smiles at the voice, speaking in English, the language she's learning to love, until she glances over at John. "Reagan was President in the 1980s." Check out the enjambment between these two seemingly contradictory statements, because that's what you call John logic: "Einstein said if I came back before I left, it would screw things up. D, we need to get down there and check it out." Um...can you explain how those concepts connect together? D'Argo's like, "Okay."
Lo'La turns invisible and lands in Florida. John -- this is a good day for John's ass! -- stares at a pickup truck, parked outside a house in a neighborhood lined with palms. Children play in the background. "Home. I can't believe I'm home."
"Touchdown!" A child laughs. John whispers to D'Argo to keep everybody silent and hidden while he checks things out. "Einstein said if there was a problem with the timeline, it would start close to me." Oh, okay. That's right -- just making the trip through the wormhole fucks things up. I forgot that part. Also, it makes no sense, except possibly in the vaguest butterfly way. He touches the hood of the pickup as he walks past, affectionately: "Old Betty." I do love Betty.
"Dad. Dad? You ready?" Jack -- so young! -- agrees, and John's sister, Olivia, capers around. A young man in a trooper uniform sits at the table with Jack, and over it a banner reads: "Congratulations To The Challenger's New Captain." John's mother runs out laughing, carrying a cake and congratulating her husband. John stares at her, even more bewildered, as his teenaged self arrives and stands at the table. His name is Johnny, back then. As they engage in part behavior -- Jack telling them they shouldn't have, et cetera -- John stares at the Challenger banner. I was seven years old, so I didn't get the right hit off this at first, but I guess if you're an astronaut -- a scientist -- it's one of those horrible touchstones like JFK or Lennon or 9/11. Images of John's mother, laughing and beautiful, his parents in love, alternate with the Challenger coming down in white smoke. "D. I don't know how he did it, but my Dad's going up on the Challenger." Which he then has to explain: "1986. The Challenger space shuttle exploded, killing everyone on board. My dad wasn't on that flight." As Johnny picks up the champagne bottle from the table, John sees the Challenger blow up, again and again. Credits.
Back on Lo'La, Rygel's apologizing if it seems insensitive, but wonders if, in the scheme of things, whether it really matters if Jack Crichton "flies and dies." Rather than punching him in the box, John answers the question Rygel's really asking: "My father got me started in avionics. No dad, no Farscape project. You stay in Peacekeeper custody, she remains a Nazi," he says, nodding at Aeryn, and "she ends up on Nebari Prime," meaning Chiana. Everybody up to speed? Chiana's like, got it: "Now how do we fix this?" John explains that, per Einstein, "the change ripples out from the first mutation," which is the Challenger glitch, so if they fix that, "everything else falls back into place." I'm just not smart enough for time travel. "I don't know how long this is gonna take, but I know a place where we might hang out." He also says, producing a newspaper, that they're lucky tomorrow's Halloween. "That's somethin'," he tells the questioning Noranti, "that means you're gonna fit in just fine, Grandma."
We see an overstuffed mailbox outside a crappy house, and inside, John's holding an awesome photo of a man with some friends, throwing the bird while a space shuttle launches behind him. Behind him, D'Argo comes in, kicking shit and coughing: "The dust on this planet is playing havoc with my sinuses!" Heh. In the living room of the house, Aeryn stares out the front window as Chiana digs through a cardboard box, pulling out clothes. This should go well. ("Shee-yah!" she says again.) John explains the place was the site of a drug bust, and sealed up. "For a while there was some gang kids livin' here." The accent is like at a five right now. Chiana hands John some jeans from the box (see?) and he assures Rygel that this isn't actually his house. "Don't worry. We're only gonna be here for a couple of [hours]." Noranti the picture of the dudes throwing the finger, and Rygel sits on the couch, batting at a plastic shark that weebles at him. He tells the crew to stay hidden, and Aeryn wishes him luck.
John, back in normal clothes -- "Hi, guys. This? Leather fascist gear, don't mention it" -- walks in on a fight between Johnny and Jack, and quickly hides. Jack's shouting for Johnny to come back; sister Olivia and another girl, Kim, follow. Mom's yelling at them not to fight in the street. In my family, that goes without saying, but we are not astronauts. Johnny rudely tells his mom to go "check the tarot cards," saying they'll predict Jack is going to walk all over her again. Little Olivia begs him to stop as Jack demands, "And I asked you what I should do!" "And then you did exactly what you wanted," Johnny retorts. Is this how people behave toward their parents in Florida? Mom begs them to go inside, and Johnny tells her to shut up, prompting a quick elbow-grab from Jack. "Don't touch me! Don't you pretend to care what I say to her!" Jesus, this kid. Olivia tells him he's being unfair; she gets the big shut-up as well. I think Johnny is the one that needs to shut up. I don't like seeing this. Not after Xhalax and Talyn; not after Moya and Talyn. Kim's horrified. Jack follows Johnny to the truck: "Pal, you're angry with me. So take it out on me, not on them." Johnny slams the truck and gives him the three-finger salute: "Yo! Hero. Read the middle finger." Jack slaps the hand away, rather than taking the fingers ransom like he should. How did it get like this? I'd like to imagine this is because of the Challenger ripples, but that would mean invalidating the Karen Shaw thing, so I guess we're stuck with this: John Crichton used to be an asshole.
John agrees, from the bushes, shaking his head and closing his eyes. Johnny speeds away, and Jack joins Mom, herding the girls back inside even as Olivia's begging him to come back. "What the hell is wrong with him?" asks Jack. "He's so damned angry!" But Mom -- Leslie Crichton -- assures him that they both know exactly what the problem is. "Well, I'm gonna make everybody's day. I won't go Monday. I'll go tomorrow, then you can throw another party." Whatever, Jack. Like father, like son. Jack storms back inside, and Leslie grabs poor Olivia. The older girl, Kim, stands in the archway, staring out.
John looks down the road, throws a tiny salute, and then spots some milk on the doorstep. "God! Milk! Wow!" The taste of home. We're still not dealing with the fact that Leslie's dead: that he's seeing his dead mother, laughing and begging them to be happy. He drinks it crazily down, and Kim approaches. "What are you doing?" He wipes his mouth and clears his throat. "Just having some milk, Ki -- Kim?" She's taken aback: Do I know you?" He introduces himself as "Fred Scarran, from the Gainesville Scarrans. We're family." She admits that he does look a bit like Johnny. John points down the street with his milk bottle: "I just saw him drive off in Betty. Where's he goin'? The lake?" Kim reminds John that when he got really steamed up, he'd head to the canal. John remembers, rubbing his eyes, and tells her he knows where she means: "I like that spot. You know, with the overhang. The tall trees." Kim's surprised, excited: "That's my favorite place! Johnny hates it there." He stares at her. "Yeah, I know. ...He shouldn't." I love this, so much. He puts the cap back on the bottle and hands it to her: "Milk? Does a body good." He walks away, leaving Kim staring, holding the bottle of milk.
D'Argo is in the dark, talking to the fuse box: "Turn on the lights? Or black out the whole city..." He pulls a lever. Aeryn stares into a light fixture, reading it slowly: "Made...in France?" Suddenly, the bulb bursts into light, and Aeryn shouts, jumping back. D'Argo blows out every light bulb with a pop and crash, but the TV comes on in the living room. "Look at this studio. It's filled with glamorous prizes..." Aeryn bends down to look at Vanna White's giant face; Chiana giggles. Rygel grumbles about the TV, still on the couch but now surrounded by empty takeout boxes. "This sensational twenty-one-thousand-dollar..." Noranti shows the finger photo to Chiana: "What do you suppose this means?" Chiana decides it's a greeting: "Yeah! To a friend!" Oh, shit. This is another sad one, this whole deal, and I have to recap it for you. Sorry. As Pat and Vanna continue to hawk their shit, Chiana practices, holding up a middle finger at Noranti. "Hello, Wrinkles!" Chiana laughs; Noranti smiles and practices too. You think it's just a dumb joke, you think it's more fart humor. It's not, it never really is. "Wheel Of Fortoon," Aeryn practices. "Wheel. Wheel." She grins, and laughs.
John walks across the canal toward Johnny, sitting on Betty's hood. "Nice truck." He touches her, again, and whispers hello: "Betty." Johnny asks who he is; John vaults into the bed of the truck. "My name's John. John Clarence." Angel. "You know, you should go to the overhang more often. Kim likes it there." He puts his palms on the roof and bounces, experimentally. "What the hell are you doing?" He keeps jumping: "Just checkin' your suspension, bra." He looks the kid in the eye. "Need you to do me a favor. You have to talk to your father, I want him not to go up on the shuttle." Johnny tells him to shove off and gets in the truck. John leans in before he can slam the door, grabs the keys, and backs away. Johnny attacks him, and John easily grabs Johnny, holding him against the truck. "Okay, we don't hit. We may shoot people sometimes, but we don't hit." Johnny comes close to calling John a rude word for boys who kiss boys, and then shoves him away. "No, I am not. You got problems. You're gonna outgrow most of 'em. And I know why you're upset." Johnny disagrees, but he proves it: "You think he treats her badly."
How does he know that? "The same way I know you helped DK cheat on his SATs. You want to go to college, boy? Convince your dad not to fly on the Challenger." He tosses the truck keys to Johnny, who gets in and then leans out the window. "You're a spook, right? Come to test the family? 'Cause if you guys knew anything, you'd know I can't convince my Dad to do squat." John tells him he's wrong. "You're wrong. He never listens." He speeds off, and John admits Johnny has a point. There comes a point in the journey where you have to go back to the beginning; if you're going to explain where you are and where you're going, you have to be strong enough to look at where you came from. It's easily the worst part, every time.
A little girl's face. The letter H. A child giggles. Brian Henson discovers lateral marketing. Kermit sings: "H, I, J, K, LMNOP." Aeryn tells D'Argo to study with her: "LMNOP." Just a few words, she says. "Just in case." D'Argo tells her Chiana's already been telling him things: "'Yes.' 'No.' 'Bite me.' That's all I need to know." Heh. Aeryn continues to practice: "R, S... S! This girl is slow!" Aeryn is so terrific. She frowns and almost growls at the little girl. Chiana enters, wearing an orange and white striped peasant dress with a low-cut neck. The thing also has ruffles on the cuffs and neck. She's wearing gloves that match. She looks...awesome.
"Why are you wearing that?" demands Rygel, and she asks her partner in crime if he's not "busting to get out." Rygel's not interested, basically. There's food here. Chiana: "We're on Earth! Crichton's hometown!" She cocks her head at the door and makes ready to leave. D'Argo cautions her that John told them to stay inside. On the TV, Kermit and the little girl laugh. Aeryn: "...Again with the Cookie Monster." Rygel points out that Crichton has now completed the "getting home" part of the show, and that unless Chiana screws it up, they'll probably follow. Not that any of them have a home to go back to. Not really. "I don't want to wait for 'one day.' I want to go exploring now!" That's my girl. D'Argo orders her to stay put, and Aeryn tells them all to shut up while she's watching her stories. "You're not the captain down here," says Chiana petulantly. "It's Halloween! I'll fit in!" So, so true. She pulls back the curtain and takes off, D'Argo following. Aeryn finally gets up and tells him to stay put. D'Argo stares out the window for the part. Which is sad.
A brunette in a flower-print dress walks past the garage door, just as Chiana skips around the corner; they stop, and stare. Chiana grins, and throws her the finger. The woman stares, confusing Chiana. She walks up, putting the bird right in the lady's grill. The woman, appalled and afraid at this intrusion, stays silent. Chiana gives up, backs away, takes off. The poor woman watches her leave, turns back towards the yard.
D'Argo and Aeryn stare out the curtain; he shoos her back. D'Argo leaves the room quickly; Aeryn remains behind the curtain. Kermit and the little girl continue to say the alphabet; and Aeryn can't resist another peek. She pulls back the curtain just as the woman's arriving -- they both gasp and jump -- and the woman ducks inside, under Aeryn's arm. Rygel chuckles, drawing her attention, and she wrinkles her nose at him. There's no talking at all, through this whole part, because of the microbes, but it does add a whole lot of tension and texture to the scene. Kermit, the Muppet, narrates the entire thing with the rudimentary building blocks of language -- the bridge that carries you from terror at the alien and into understanding. It doesn't help. It does, however, get you right on board with this poor woman, confronted with the alien nature of our friends for the first time. Just brilliant, and scary, and so off-balance in framing and light. Rygel turns around and stares at the women's whispered question -- "What is this?" -- and laughs in her face. The woman turns around and walks back out, under Aeryn's still-upheld arm. "I love you," the little girl says to Kermit. "I love you too," he replies. "Uh oh," says Rygel. "Give me a kiss!" whispers the little girl. Life fails to imitate art in this instance.
"Pilot," whines Sikozu, up on Moya, "there is no need for a complete shutdown. Turn up the heat!" She huddles and chatters in a blanket. Suddenly, Pilot comms to them both, hysterically. "Scorpius! Sikozu, we've got trouble! Get up here! Peacekeeper Marauders are approaching, at maximum speed. Grayza and Braca are aboard." Scorpius orders starburst, but Sikozu demurs: "No. If Moya does, she will never find this wormhole's exact location again." And Scorpius completes the thought: the crew will be lost to them. "We must go now!" shouts Pilot, so totally tired of John's wormhole bullshit. "If you run, Grayza will assume Crichton is aboard, and she will hunt you down." Sikozu pauses and looks at Scorpius. "We let Grayza board. She will see Crichton is not here, and she..." Pilot screams: "She will kill me!" Scorpius assures him that if John's gone, she won't hurt them. Scorpius and Sikozu couldn't be uncreepy if they tried, so everything they say comes with the taint of being a total lie, even when it's the truth.
Johnny drives Betty down a street, radio on: Our true love... He sees Chiana, in her crazy dress in broad daylight, inspecting a garden gnome, and pulls over, leaning on the window sill. (Dreams that come and go...) Chiana stands, dropping the gnome. "Nice outfit," he grins. "Goin' to a party?" Chiana nods, staccato, says one of her words: "Yeah." Johnny asks if she wants a lift, she responds again: "Sure." You can tell me about the pain you feel, promises the radio. The thing she hasn't had since she got back to Moya, burned and broken and scarred and hurt. The thing that's stood between her and everyone, since her brother rejected her, but especially between her and men. Chiana looks at Betty, then climbs onto the hood -- she's wearing red shoes, white panties -- and Johnny watches her, amazed. Another man stares from across the street as she climbs in through the shotgun window; she chuckles to herself. The radio assumes the wounds will never heal, but I wouldn't be so sure. She's smarter than that; so's the universe. She turns it up, so much louder. Because love is blind...Johnny asks, as she's dancing, if she likes the music. She laughs and shakes, completely inside herself. Don't try to change my mind, the song asks, but that's all she wants. "Cool," nods Johnny, captivated. "So, what's your name?" She tells him, and fiddles with the ashtray. Too afraid to look into his eyes. "Karen?"
Love is blind, says the radio, but that's not exactly true. It's not love that's blind, it's Chiana, when she's taking the moment apart and examining it for what it is. Which is not Chiana today. It's not love that's blind, it's Chiana. Still not looking, only briefly acknowledging him: "Yeah. Karen." The cigarette lighter she pushed pops out, and she examines it. "Shee-yah!" Because love is blind. "Karen Shaw, right? The name's John Crichton." Because love is blind. She drops the lighter. "Crichton?"
Hit pause, like Chiana. Facts: The last time we were on Earth, we learned about wormholes; we jumped down them together. John and Aeryn made love as though it were the first time. Chiana has always been attracted to John Crichton, but their love is too intimate, and ordered, for sex. She provides in part the chance for John the chance to be the teacher, after so long spent in amazement and confusion on Moya. It would be not only incest but gross misconduct, for him to follow her lead, up there. In 2003. The last time she tried to climb aboard, it was in the Neural Cluster, being ridden by the creature that would bless her with the sight. And she's lost something. Something precious, central to her nature, and she's never had the chance to get it back, ever since she found her way back to Moya again. She's held herself apart from even D'Argo, after giving him so much pain and grief before now. Retreating every time she was asked to give in, grow up, be an adult.
These are facts. Chiana's time off Moya has made her something very specific, which is an innocent who has been interfered with. She needs to travel back in time -- back to the beginning, back to the root of the thing that was broken -- if she's ever going to be whole again. Her power has always resided in her innocence and her sexuality, and when she came back to Moya, she was powerless. She was blind when it happened, meaning that the one power she does have -- the ability to take the moment apart and look at her place in it, to slow time around her, to employ the split-second pattern recognition of the intuitive -- is useless and terrifying. It asks her to go back to the time she was hurt, at the same time it asks her to put into thought what she's used to ignoring in intuition. It puts her alongside John, who was violated on the Interion planet too, but in a way they can't ever look at, or talk about, or touch. Maybe if she could have found Jothee again, a younger version of D'Argo (half Luxan; half Sebacean, like John for all intents and purposes), she could have found her way back to D'Argo again. Back to herself. But that involves usurping the agency of another person, and it's something she's already screwed up once.
Take a teacher, a brother, the softest man you've ever met. The man who sees your heart, and whose heart you see. The one person you can never sleep with, because it would break all the fibers you've got left -- but the one person who could prove to you, remind you, that it doesn't hurt. And with a little judicious time travel, you might find yourself in a position where everybody wins. It will hurt to make the choice, it will be scary as shit, as shee-yaw, but it's the choice the universe is handing you. You wouldn't be able to make a sound, because he wouldn't understand your voice. But it's not your speech he needs to understand, because it's always been the child inside him that loved you. And once those children were hurt, and broken, and invaded? Take it backwards. This could only happen in a science fiction show, and there are those of us who could be jealous of that. But it happens, and there's grace in it. Take this man, this young version of the man you love most purely, and see him for what it is: the chance at grace they took from you. You could fall in love with that so easily. And he'll become a man, and you'll finally get to be a woman. Whole.
Play. "What's the matter?" Johnny asks her. And she makes a deal with herself, shaking, nodding her head. She knows she can do this. She knows she has to. "It happens all the time," the radio assures us, "because love is blind." She touches his arm. "Drive." She mimes turning the steering wheel, becomes more insistent: "Drive." Just because it happens every day, to every person, doesn't make the jump any less momentous, or any less terrifying. Other people's bodies are the scariest thing in the world until you've done it before. "It happens all the time," says the radio, "it's not a crime. Because love is blind." Johnny starts the truck, and Karen Shaw gives a joyous shout as they take off down the street.
A Florida state trooper parks in the driveway where the crew is hiding; the trooper turns off the car and heads toward them. Inside, D'Argo's watching from the window: "Looks like an enforcer. He has a weapon." Aeryn enters wearing a ridiculous, yet awesome, outfit: a bared midriff surrounded by blue and purple flowers, bell-bottomed hip-huggers and bell sleeves. She looks like the Sock It To Me girl. She tosses him a blue football jersey. Rygel advices that Aeryn knows enough English to get them through this. "Plan doesn't work, we use force," says D'Argo, and goes to change. "It'll be fine," Aeryn sighs, and then gasps at the trooper's knock. She peeks out at him, then opens the door, closing it behind her. "Hello." He touches the brim of his hat: "Ma'am." She asks how she can help him, and he looks around at the house. "Well, this house was..." She nods, looking up at it as well. "Abandoned. By our uncle." She invites him in, and opens the door for him after an awkward moment. Rygel gasps at him from the couch as they enter; Noranti's wearing something around her head, like a sock or something, a dishtowel, and she's "reading" a menu, upside down. The door creaks ever so creepily as it closes.
The trooper starts to explain about the complaint he's received; D'Argo listens, from behind a doorway, wearing the jersey over his robes, holding the Qualta at attention. Aeryn nods again. "From the lady. Yes, I think she was scared." She reaches over the back of the couch and picks up Rygel: "She saw Kermit." She tosses him onto the floor. "We thought the batteries were dead, but...it's just a silly toy." Rygel lands on his back, mouth and eyes wide open. Noranti belches loudly; Aeryn tells "Grandma" to say excuse me (oh, right, third eye -- took me a sec), and she looks up. The trooper gets more suspicious. "Okay, where are you from?" D'Argo sneezes behind him, and sneezes again as Aeryn stalls, entering the room. The trooper turns and pulls his gun on him: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't move, pal!" Aeryn tries to explain -- aww -- that D'Argo's her brother. "It's Halloween, remember?" says Noranti, ever so helpfully. Aeryn smiles and nods, nervously. "He's dressed up," says Noranti. "In a mask." How's she know English? Aeryn assures him it's a mask indeed, and the trooper asks if D'Argo's not just a bit too old for Halloween costumes. D'Argo sternly informs him that he is not, the trooper keeps the gun on him. "No?" He shrugs, trying to think of his vocab; Aeryn closes her eyes, appalled. "Uh, bite...me?" The trooper orders him to take off the mask, now fully engaged.
Commercial. D'Argo heads toward the trooper, Qualta held high. Aeryn steps between them, promising it's just a toy sword, and as the trooper's telling her to bug off, Noranti blows some powder in the guy's face. He sinks to the floor in her arms. "There is no danger here," she whispers. "See D'Argo remove his mask. See the hooman you expect. Then go, and leave us alone." All right, Granny! He opens his eyes and sees D'Argo remove his face, revealing a young, quite tall black guy. "Is there a problem, Officer?" The trooper gets to his feet, still disoriented. "No problem. I'll just...go, man, and you guys just...you know, do your own thing." He goes to the door, Noranti wishes him a happy Halloween. Aeryn closes the door behind him with a friendly smile. Under a pizza box, on the floor, Rygel groans. "You bitch! I think you broke a rib." He groans again. Aeryn tells him to shut up and he gasps, insulted. "Well, we've done it now. I'll have to go and find Crichton." She and Captain D'Argo look at each other. There's a world of difference between taking orders from a PK Commandant and from the elected Captain. It's so small, but so neat.
Aeryn walks down the street on the curbside grass, hearing children play, still wearing the ridiculous drag queen pantsuit. A ball rolls towards her and she stoops and picks it up. She looks at it, then tosses it back to a boy with a baseball mitt on his hand. "Thanks, ma'am," says the boy. John joins her and they walk together. "Oh, man. Like those clothes," he grins. She hopes they're okay. "It's all we could find." He admits she looks a bit like Cher. "Is that a good, or a bad thing?" The important thing is, the look works. Aeryn asks how things are going with the Crichtons. "Situation normal: it's getting worse. Now my dad's leaving tomorrow."
Leslie Crichton sits with her back to the street, laying out a tarot spread, as John and Aeryn walk past. He slows down, looking, as Aeryn keeps walking, head down. John hurries to catch up, as Olivia comes out and approaches Leslie. John and Aeryn crouch at a fence, John signaling for silence, as Olivia says she's going to visit a friend, and they say goodbye. Aeryn steadies herself on John's thigh, watches him shake and bit his lip. He finally speaks, as she looks into his eyes. "That's my mother. She died four years before I left. Now I'm gonna talk to her." She clasps his hand in hers and lovingly gives him a tiny smile in support.
"Excuse me, ma'am," says John, entering the garden. He and his mother stare at each other. "Do I know you?" No. He squints and squirms, nervous and hurting. "Um, you read the cards?" She nods and admits it silly. "Everybody thinks it is, especially my son." John shakes his head: "It's not. He's wrong. He's just young." John grins at his mother. "It's not silly." She smiles back, laughs quietly. "It's a little strange, but...that's why I'm here. I did a reading in Gainesville, and I...saw your husband." John Crichton, Seer of Seeings and Reader of the Cards. He's so weird. "Jack?" Yes. He begs her to keep his father home, until Monday. "I did a reading," she murmurs. It's Farscape. If you buy Moya and Karen Shaw and wormholes, is it really so far to jump? Zhaan and Stark and...this is John's mother. Of course she reads tarot. "God," she breathes. "Is there something?" John says he doesn't know. "Don't let him go this weekend." He looks away, biting it back: "Don't...back down, like you always do." The anger in that, and the frustration, and the pain. The way he always asks you to look at the thing you don't want to look at. "How do you know that?" He says it's in her face: "You're a peacemaker, not a fighter. Look, just, uh, don't let him go." He finally gives in, to the sadness, and starts to run away. "I'm sorry I bothered you." She asks again if she knows him, and he turns at the gate. "No. You don't know me." The gate clanks shut quietly behind him.
"It even brought tears to my eyes," says a woman on TV, like she just saw the last scene. Which was rough. But no, she's surrounded by dolls, reading a letter, as Aeryn watches. Rygel advises John to just tell Jack about the crash, and then "he won't go on the scuttle"; John corrects him, and assures them that Jack won't believe him, and things will just get worse. D'Argo asks what he wants to do, and John sighs, because this is another horrible plan. Like, such a bad idea that it's funny. "Seventeen years ago, I got trapped in a fire. I was in a coma for two days. My dad saved me. Afterwards, when NASA called, he refused to leave." Noranti realizes that he's wanting to recreate the situation. "I'll get my old girlfriend to bring my...self...here. We'll make sure my Dad saves me, light a fire..." Noranti offers to help with drugs: "I can simulate a coma, so..." But John holds up his hands. "No no no no, Grandma. You do not touch my body..." He stops; you smile. "Where's Chiana?" I love that.
Chiana sits in the truck, facing Johnny now. "We used to get along. We did stuff. Now he just thinks we're...part of his crew, or something." She sighs, says a word she knows: "Fathers." He asks if she's had trouble with hers. That is an understatement. She smiles, sighing again. A plane roars overhead as Johnny admits that he actually would like to follow his father's lead, and become an astronaut. "You will," she assures him, and he shakes his head, laughing. "No, it's too tough. It's a total bitch. They only take the best." She just watches him, and he thinks it out. She leads him to another wormhole. "I don't know, maybe. One day." Heaven for everyone.
The trooper from before gets out of his car again. He circles around toward the back, past some bushes, and climbs up to look over the fence. "Hello, Cookie Monster!" says Noranti, who has appeared out of nowhere, across the fence. She smiles and blows powder in his face; he goes down.
Later, Noranti's got him tied to a chair in an abandoned swimming pool in the backyard. There's a TV with a lamp on top of it sitting before of him on the cement. Noranti leans around him, holding a metal dipper to his mouth. He swallows loudly as D'Argo arrives at the edge of the pool, staring down. "What are you doing?" he demands, and she explains, sort of. "He was snooping. I'm running tests to make sure I don't hurt Crichton if I put him into a coma. Look!" She twists the trooper's ear wicked bad. "He doesn't blink! I can do anything to him. He doesn't feel a thing!" She's so cool. D'Argo reminds her that they're supposed to be actively not making things worse: "Get him out of there."
Noranti and D'Argo try to stuff the unconscious trooper into the backseat of his squad car, but he's very floppy. The neighbor lady from before comes out to watch them. D'Argo climbs into the driver's seat -- oh, this is not good -- and puts on the trooper's helmet, saying to himself, "Helmet." The trooper groans, falling half out of the car and onto the paving. Noranti grabs him and yanks him back inside. "Machine," says D'Argo. "Go!" Nothing happens. Noranti leans in beside D'Argo's head, indicating the key. He slaps her hand away and tells her to mind her beeswax, but turns the key. The engine starts. "Okay. Prepare for engagement." There's no reason for this to be so funny, but it is. They back out, squealing, and hit some garbage cans. The neighbor jumps back, but then when D'Argo stops moving, she comes to his door. "Excuse me!" Flustered, he waves his middle finger at her. She blinks at him, thrown off again. He breathes out, loudly, and then begins to drive forward, in fits and starts. The unconscious trooper in the back lolls around, slack and gone. The neighbor watches them take off.
A Peacekeeper Marauder lands in Moya's hangar; a squad of Peacekeepers, including Braca and Grayza, march on Pilot's den. "Activate the control collar," says Braca, and Pilot begs him to leave it out, on Moya's behalf. "Please. We didn't try to run." The PKs ignore him; Braca climbs over the console toward Pilot. Pilot is terrified, stammering: "We didn't st...starburst. I told you, I...I have no idea where Crichton is!" Braca smiles. Grayza: "Braca, if Crichton is aboard this Leviathan, bring him to me." Braca agrees, and orders a full tier search. "I'll start in the Neural Cluster." He smirks at Pilot and climbs down onto the floor.
Full moon on Halloween. I like this part: John comes into the bolthole's living room, where Rygel is laughing uproariously, and sits to him on the couch. Rygel is stabbing a pumpkin with a knife, over and over and over. John sighs, informing everyone that he and Kim have arranged a meeting at the canal tomorrow. He puts his hand sweetly on Rygel's head and asks what the hell the deranged little freak is doing. "Cutting. Just cutting! Make them scary, you said. Scary! Ah!" He continues stabbing, stabbing, stabbing. This is by far the coolest flavor of Rygel you ever get to see. John reaches gingerly into the pile of wrappers at Rygel's side, and pulls out a piece of chocolate: "Somebody got a sugar high. You been stealin' candy, Mr. Burroughs?" Rygel shakes and twitches: "Ohh, Crichton! How illegal is this dren? You've gotta get me more! I don't care what it costs!" John tells him to breathe. "Buckwheat, breathe." He takes the knife out of Rygel's hand, but Rygel keeps making stabbing motions with his hand. I love him. "Get some sleep, we've got a big day tomorrow." He pats Rygel on the head and leaves him talking to himself. "Okay. Okay. Good idea." Rygel stares at his still-quivering hand.
Neural Cluster: Sikozu, still wrapped in her blanket, advises Scorpius that they should hide in the neural turbines. "They will hide our heat signatures." Scorpius tells her to go, but she's insistent: "Scorpius, we must hide until the Peacekeepers have gone!" He tells her he'll be all right, and she measures his face for a moment, then turns and leaves.
Scorpius listens to Braca: "Check tier nine. I'll go below." He moves behind a pillar, and watches Braca climb down into the Cluster. Scorpius growls loudly, just behind Braca, who turns and sees him, quickly around toward a pillar, hiding his face. "You're dead!" Scorpius hisses, and steps closer. "How many aboard the Leviathan, Braca?" Thirty plus Grayza, Braca tells him without hesitation. Scorpius steps still closer: "Will they follow you down here?" No. Scorpius reaches out and grabs Braca by the shoulders, turning him and grabbing, not to say caressing, his face, and staring into his eyes. He pulls him in and...kisses him on the forehead. Better luck time, Milko. "Well done," Scorpius smiles, and Braca reaches out, putting his hands tightly, not to say tenderly, on Scorpius's cheeks: "It's good to see you, sir." Then they totally make out!
But we've already cut to the scene! Cheerful birdsong outside the drug den. "Good morning, Florida! I hope you're having a very scary Halloween," the radio continues, and the guy makes a lot of dumb noises. Outside, the trooper's on his back, on the ground, saying hello to his chief, who's none too impressed. "We've been looking for you all night," he says, and we pull back to see another trooper and that nosy neighbor lady, standing to the cruiser, with its door open. "I saw you with them," she says, and the trooper wriggles, trying to get his legs out of the car. There's an open liquor bottle on the street to him. Another neighbor watches from behind a tree. "I don't know what you saw, Dot, but I think I need a warrant." The Chief helps him up off the pavement.
Everyone's gathered in the living room, D'Argo explaining procedure. "The charges are almost ready. They'll create more smoke than fire. Your father'll have a quarter of an [hour] to get you out." Aeryn sighs. "I'll set a perimeter, make sure we're not interrupted." She gets off the couch as Noranti joins John: "I've made enough syrup to keep the kid unconscious for three [hours]. Oh, don't worry, I've tested it on the enforcer so the boy won't wake in the middle of the rescue." John's not sold on the drug stuff, of course. "We'll see. I'll go get my...self, and I'll be right back."
John and Chiana crawl through some weeds outside the Crichtons'. They watch as Jack bends over Leslie, kissing her forehead. "Mmm, you smell nice!" She thanks him and they smile at each other. He sits near her at the table; she takes his hand. "Well, what do the cards say?" She assures him he's definitely staying. She laughs and kisses his hand. In the bushes, John wonders at how happy they are, whispering: "I didn't see my parents like that very often." Leslie tells him to pick a card, they laugh. "I never saw that in my sires," says Chiana. She puts his head on John's shoulder, where it belongs. Where she couldn't rest, before Earth. Leslie laughs at her husband as he pretends to read the card he's drawn: "...Definitely going!" They laugh and play with the cards; John shakes his head. "You just want 'em to stay like that...they think they've got all the time in the world, but pretty soon it's doctors, tests..." Jack takes another card: "Well, this one isn't too bad!" Chiana and John leave.
Johnny stands on the bank, throwing rocks into the canal; Kim sits up in Betty, fixing her hair. John crouches around the truck, hiding from Johnny, and gets inside with Kim. She smiles, happy to see him; they have an easy, almost flirty rapport. It's cool, not weird. "Hi. I did what you told me. Johnny doesn't want to be here, but I told him we had to talk. He thinks I'm breaking up with him." John murmurs to himself, "Well, you will." She asks him what he said. "Nothing. He's just...you know, a girl like you..." Kim asks if he's flirting with her, and he gets flustered, and of course Chiana appears. "Hey!" Kim turns to look at her and Chiana immediately knocks her out. I love this. Chiana giggles; John's horrified. "Why the hell did you do that?" Chiana shrugs -- "We're in a hurry" -- and looks down at Kim, sniffing; jealous of Johnny. "So, this is what...you're into." John protests that Kim's a nice girl, and Chiana laughs and asks if he'll take Kim so she can be in charge of Johnny. No questions asked.
Some kids knock on the door, which is open behind the curtain. Rygel sits on the couch, back to the door. "Trick or treat! Trick or treat! Trick or treat!" the kids scream, and Rygel invites them in. "Over here." A skeleton, a pirate, and a vampire enter the room. "Trick or treat, money or eats," says the pirate, and Rygel laughs. The skeleton approaches Rygel with bag held out. "Cool toy," he says, and reaches out to touch Rygel's mouth. Rygel opens his eyes and mouth, growling loudly, and the three kids take off screaming like hell. Rygel growls and then laughs madly and the kids cry to their moms. The skeleton drops his bag on the couch and all three kids scream and run out of the house. Rygel continues to growl and laugh as John comes in past the screaming kids. He grabs the bag from Rygel and tells him to cut it out. "But I love this! And you won't buy me any more! I want a Kit-Kat and M&M's and Pez and Reese's Pieces. All for me!" John takes off with the bag, ignoring him. "D? You all set?" Smoke comes from the fuse box, where D'Argo's setting the last charge.
Noranti sits outside in the swimming pool, stirring a kettle on Halloween. Chiana comms to ask -- stammering -- how much longer the serum's going to take. Noranti says it'll be at least thirty and asks if Chiana can "keep him occupied." She says she'll think of something, and Noranti rolls her eyes and smiles: "I'm sure you can. Hmm." Anybody else, I'd think they were calling her a slut, but it's Granny. I'm sure she knows the whole story already.
Karen Shaw climbs down off Betty's roof, down into the truck bed, where Johnny lies. "Okay," she says. To him, to herself. She straddles him. "Garage," they agree. She leans her forehead against his, distracting herself with his jacket buttons. "Is this, uh...your...f...first?" He nods. "Is this how you...you imagined...it?" He looks up at her. "Not in Betty. I always thought it'd be in my Dad's four-wheel drive." They kiss. Karen pushes Johnny's jacket back, down off his shoulders.
Neural Cluster. "Does Grayza know you're my spy?" Scorpius asks. "No, but she'll figure it out when she discovers you're alive." Um, like you just did? Scorpius tells him Grayza must never know he's alive. "We've got to stop her!" says Braca. "She's organizing a peace initiative with the Scarrans!" Scorpius hisses, saying they're just using her. "They'll agree to everything, then betray us when their forces are battle-ready." He tells Braca to stall her. "I'm not given to exaggeration, but...the future of Peacekeeper survival depends on you."
The trooper and his chief, warrant in hand, head toward the house.
Johnny sits in a stuffed chair in the drug house, watching TV. Looking kinda sleepy. Noranti creeps into the room to Chiana, watching him from behind a pillar. "You can do this?" she asks, handing Chiana a glass. "No problem. Just make sure everyone stays out of sight until he drinks it." She kneels beside him, smiling. "Hey," they say. "Here," she says, handing him the glass. He drinks it and she takes his hand. "It's okay?" He smiles at her. "Yeah."
Over the TV you could barely hear the squad car returning. Aeryn enters from the back, wearing black under her long coat: "We've got trouble. Two enforcers." John darts a finger at Chiana -- "Stay down!" -- and heads for the window, freaking Johnny out. "Hang on! You're that guy that..." The stuff gets him and he drops. John tells Chiana to keep him down as he goes into shock, then seizure. She bends over him: "Crichton? Crichton!" Aeryn and John check it out. "Old Woman!" he swears to himself. "I thought she tested this stuff." Chiana and John hold onto Johnny, jerking and gasping, scared out of their minds. "Is this supposed to be happening?" asks Chiana, as Noranti hurries in. John feels Johnny's jugular: "No pulse. I've got no pulse!" He stares at Noranti as the police knock at the front door. "Open up!" Chiana tries to get John's attention, finally pointing out that his arm is going Marty McFly before their very eyes. Even as the police are demanding entry, everybody's staring at John as he vanishes.
Commercial. To the sound of the police bashing at the door, D'Argo runs in, asking after Crichton. Who is now completely invisible. Noranti tells him to chill: "Everything's under control." John begins to shout. "I'm gone! What happens ? I lose my voice?" (Um, ouch?) Aeryn, from the door: "I wish. Keep your voice down." Heh. Noranti figures out that the sheriff probably outweighed Johnny by more than she thought. John and Aeryn beg her to just get it together and bring John back, but she just points at Johnny: "His body has stopped functioning, and you are ceasing -- wherever you are -- to exist." I guess you've gotta have this in a time-travel story, if you visit your younger self. I was happy just with the Karen Shaw stuff. This is an extra act where no extra act needs to be. It's such a good episode. Aeryn finally allows as how they need to let the cops in. "...Let's open it up now." She and Chiana nod to each other, and Noranti pops something nasty in her mouth and starts chewing. D'Argo agrees to take the larger of the cops, Aeryn pushes back the curtain and opens the door, smiling brightly: "Hello!" They walk in, nodding at her; D'Argo slams the sheriff face-first into a wall, as Aeryn punches the trooper in the gut, dropping him.
"Grandma," says John's voice. "Fix me." She chews calmly, addressing the empty space: "You're just a nookie!" Heh. "Haven't you ever died before?" she asks, approaching Chiana and tapping in. She kneels down over Johnny's face, and spits a long wad of something into his mouth. Aeryn just about pukes, but whatever. It's Noranti. You burnt out your barf threshold with her a long time ago. I actually like how nasty she is: she's the opposite of Zhaan in even that way. Noranti covers Johnny's mouth with hers, and Aeryn gets worried, running over to them. I like how, even though she's actually had to sit through John dying, Aeryn's not actually all that concerned about Johnny. Just fix it. Johnny breathes, John stares at his hands coming true again, and Johnny passes out. Noranti's like, "See?" but John still doesn't feel completely de-McFlyed. Noranti hopes it'll pass -- covering that she didn't want to bring Johnny back too quickly -- but maybe he should use it to his advantage somehow.
Rygel watches the trooper crawling around; he begs Rygel: "Who are you people?" Noranti hunkers down, third eye glowing pink. "Aliens!" The trooper looks from her to D'Argo, who tongues him. The guy falls back against the wall and D'Argo gets ready to set all the smoke charges. "Right. Let's get 'em into the garage." She picks up Johnny. Aww.
Leslie Crichton sits at a table in the garden, shuffling cards and humming sweetly in the sun. A shadow passes over her face; she feels it, and looks up. A hand caresses her cheek and she puts her hand over it, still humming. "Mom," says John. "It's me." She stares out into the sun. "Johnny?" She almost smiles, feeling him with her. "I love you. I've wanted to tell you that for a very long time." You can almost see him. "What's the matter?" Leslie says, forcing herself to look down, at the cards, figure out much of this is happening and how much is madness; what she has to do . "I'm in trouble, I'm in the Carson house. Get Dad and tell him to save me." Leslie throws the cards down, hurries through the garden toward the house, screaming Jack's name. "Mom, listen! When you first feel the pain, don't...don't wait." She's gone. She was always gone. He becomes visible again, losing even the tinge of the supernatural that could have saved her; separating himself from Johnny again for good. He becomes a man you can see; he becomes a man.
"The initial scans were accurate," Braca lies. "The Leviathan is empty." He and Grayza are accompanied down the corridor by a few PKs. "I assumed as much," she replies smugly. "I accessed the memory banks, the Pilot has no idea where Crichton's gone." And then she orders something curious. "Braca, prepare the Marauders. Set course for our meeting with the Scarrans." They take off, Braca and the soldiers, and Grayza's left alone. A creature has appeared in the doorway: the muscled corpse of a lizard man, all eyes and teeth. She's used creeps like this before. "There's no way that Moya can detect your presence," she explains, but the Skreeth has Crichton's DNA, so it should be able to detect him. "So when he returns, as we know he will, capture him alive." The creature looks down the corridor and snarls. DNA, really? Again. How much of this show is about Crichton's DNA? But also, how about this: IF SHE ALREADY HAS HIS DNA THEN -- PER THE COCKADOODIE SCARRANS -- SHE'S ALREADY GOT WORMHOLES.
Noranti hurries to Johnny, laid across Betty's tailgate, and blows yet new powder in his face: "Remember nothing." She hurries away, and Chiana whispers in his other ear, "Except for Karen Shaw, in the four-wheel drive." Heh. I guess the whole gray-girl aspect was just a bit too straining of credulity, and maybe they're right. You remember everything. D'Argo has the smoke going; Noranti's giving the Sheriff the whole "Remember nothing," but then Chiana grabs her and pulls her out of the house before she can give the trooper the same treatment.
Now there's just an assload of smoke coming out of the boarded-up house; D'Argo drags the trooper out by the pits and into his car -- face down in the Sheriff's lap, behind the wheel. Oh, D'Argo. Aeryn notifies him that everyone's back on the ship, and Jack's on his way to save Johnny. The two of them -- male and female sides to John's virility -- hide and watch as John's father investigates the fire; John approaches and notes his Dad "moves fast for an old guy!" D'Argo congratulates him on his corporeality; Dot the Nosy Neighbor appears, and John spots her over the fence. "Damn. She's going to screw things up. My dad has to do it by himself." From the rattlers to the Ancients, it's always been about John waiting for his dad to prove it. "Aeryn!" he hisses. Tellingly. She tosses herself over the wall onto the sidewalk.
Inside, Jack's screaming -- not for "Johnny," but for John -- as Dot comes upon the policemen's tête-à -tête. Aeryn creeps up behind her.
Inside the house, Jack knocks himself out on a chandelier; outside the house, Dot knocks herself out on Aeryn's fast-moving fist. The door is open, smoke pouring out. "You know," says D'Argo, "if he stays in there too much longer, it's gonna catch on fire. Why do our plans never work?" John says "Murphy's Law," but I think he means, "My plans are hilariously horrible but always work out." John spots his dad knocked out on the floor and calls for D'Argo. "I'm gonna get myself. You take Dad." John for Johnny, D'Argo for Jack, Aeryn for everything else in the world. John hurries to the garage as D'Argo kneels beside Jack; Jacob starts scribbling messy diagrams about everybody and everybody else.
D'Argo drags Jack into the garage and confirms that John's still solid. John looks down at Johnny, lying on Betty's gate. D'Argo opens the garage door, drags Jack out onto the grass. John caresses Johnny's forehead, kissing him softly. "Try not to frown so much. Good luck." John picks up Johnny and carries him out of the garage. He saves himself.
"We've gotta go," grunts D'Argo. "I'll start Lo'La." John reluctantly agrees and lays Johnny down, on the grass, near Jack. He glances at Jack and leaves them, father and son -- and runs straight for Aeryn.
There are sirens; Jack wakes up and sees Johnny beside him. His son coughs, and he tells him to hold on. Leslie screeches up and runs to them; Jack begs Johnny to speak. Jack assures Leslie he's going to be okay; Kim joins them. Complete. Aeryn tells John, who is being very quiet, that it's probably time to go. Kim worries about Johnny, Aeryn takes off. Jack looks up at John, notices him, takes a step forward. John leaps to the top of the wall, looking down at his father, the hero. Then he's gone. Jack turns slowly back to face his family. This show is fucking awesome.
Trooper man sits behind a painted mirror, begging them to believe: "I swear to God I'm tellin' the truth. There was this guy, and he was invisible. And this other thing that had this long tongue. Uh, he knocked me out with it." Behind the glass Mulder and Scully watch, disbelieving. "They left this!" He puts his hand on Rygel's horrific pumpkin, on the table before him. "As a sign!" Scully shakes her head at Mulder and they take off. "Like a message or somethin'. 'Cause nobody human coulda made it!" Rygel has carved out Scorpius's face onto the pumpkin. "There's no way a human coulda made this." Fingers crossed.
Lo'La flies back toward Moya; D'Argo asks if they can save the Challenger crew, and Noranti cuts that idea dead. Pilot calls to them. "Where are you?" asks John, and the reply is simple and lovely: "Where you said to be." D'Argo can't find Moya with his scanners; John realizes it's a timeframe issue. "What year is it where you are?" 2003. They follow the connection to Pilot through the wormhole. "By Lannit! Another Earth!" exclaims Rygel. But it's still the same one, even though it's always different. Moya's the difference; they dock.
Lo'La's steps lower; John's the first to exit. He steps through the hangar doors, confronted by three human men, and a woman. The man is his father. John looks at them quietly, gone so still. Jack clears his throat, on the edge of tears. Grown old (-ish) in a moment. "W... welcome home, son. We've been waitin' for you. A long time." It's the first time we've seen him since the premiere; we've drawn lines and mirror images of him, but we haven't seen him yet again for real. This is homecoming; after John loves the Ancient Jack, after John saves Johnny, after he jumps into wormholes, only then is he allowed to see Jack again. Of course he doesn't buy it. Jack walks forward and his son pulls a pulse pistol. Jack asks what's wrong. He's not seen his son tempted, disappointed, brought again and again to hope only have it dashed. He's not seen his son weep for all the death that's surrounded him; doesn't understand a soldier's readiness. He sees only his son, lost forever, now coming home. Love and relief. Of course John doesn't buy it.
John, eyes trained on Jack's: "Was it a bass? Or a trout?"