As a transport returns to Moya, we hear Crichton say, "Pilot, I'm bringing Miss Kitty back from the OK Corral. Is there any word on Aeryn or Doc Rygel yet?" There isn't. He really likes to give the translator microbes a workout.
And then we're in the hangar. Or a matte painting of a hangar, at least. Chiana is wearing a super-cute coat, even if it's not made of leather. She's as giddy as a kid on the first day of vacation, sticking her feet under Crichton's as he tries to stomp away. She asks if he's mad at her and whines, "I got information on the slave auctions, didn't I?" Crichton is more like an exhausted parent on the last day of that same vacation, just counting the hours till school starts again. He snaps at her to stop tripping him, and warns, "D'Argo's not going to be happy if he finds out how you got the information!" She says he won't care if it helps find Jothee, but Crichton says, "Chiana, my little trollop, he will care." I love the word "trollop." That is all. He walks across the room and grumbles that while she can "kick, kiss and cry [her] way out of any situation," he'd prefer it if she stopped getting into situations in the first place. Because Crichton never gets into trouble. As he heads for the workbench, Chiana sneers, "You're just cranked 'cause Winona jammed!" Crichton raises the gun and soothingly tells it, "It's not her fault that she jammed." He really, really needs a girlfriend. Aeryn may have to take one for the team. There's a little more exposition to establish that Aeryn and Rygel had to cover their escape, and Crichton warns Chiana that Aeryn is going to be particularly pissed off. After fiddling with the pistol, Crichton fires a test shot right past Chiana's head. She flinches, but the shot sort of fizzles out and doesn't even knock over a nearby canister.
The second transport returns. Aeryn steps out into the hangar with a tight smile and calls Chiana. Still at the workbench, Crichton quietly wishes Chiana luck as she nervously walks out to meet Aeryn. Aeryn's smile broadens and she says, "I want to apologize for not looking after you better. My behavior has been self-centered and inappropriate." Chiana chuckles, "I don't get it." Rygel swoops out to join them as Crichton points out that seeing Aeryn apologize is a little scary. Aeryn says that they need to look toward the future, and Rygel chortles, "We have a surprise for you!" He smirks and swoops away. Chiana asks if the "surprise" will explode when she opens it. Aeryn smiles blissfully and says, "You don't open this, you embrace it!" Back in a corner of the room, Rygel enthuses about feeling joy and contentment. Chiana suddenly notices that Aeryn's unarmed, and tells Crichton, "Aeryn doesn't even shower without a pulse pistol." Crichton gruffly tells Chiana to go talk to D'Argo, for all the world like a protective dad. Chiana's weirded out enough not to argue, but as she turns for the door, Aeryn and Rygel repeat that they have a surprise.
And then another Nebari enters. An '80s New Wave Nebari, with artfully mussed hair. She calls, "Chiana, dear, it's time to go home." Then she turns her head so we can see that half of her face is injured. Or maybe the airbrush got clogged or something, but there's a mess over there and it looks like it dripped down onto her collarbone. Crichton asks who their guest is, and Aeryn happily explains, "Varla helped us and in turn we must help her." At this point Rygel starts humming softly because he's so darn happy, which I kinda love. Chiana stares at Rygel and Aeryn and finally announces, "They're cleansed." Crichton, as you'd expect, says, "What?" Chiana repeats that they're cleansed, and then screams, "Nooooooo!" and rushes forward. Aeryn grabs Chiana, who starts screaming that she won't go home. Varla pulls a weapon out as Aeryn punches Chiana and then grabs her from behind. Crichton aims his pistol at them and orders Aeryn to let Chiana go. After a second, Aeryn does, shoving Chiana at him. Crichton takes aim at Varla, who's still holding her own strange gun. They face off, and then Crichton fires. And, of course, there's a flash and some sparks, but not much of a shot. Varla smirks and fires her own gun. Blue light engulfs Crichton and Chiana, and then they collapse.
Credits. Random plug: Mperia. Kinda like iTunes for indie artists.
A Nebari ship flies toward Moya. A moment later, we see a very goth-y lad stride across the hangar. Varla turns to greet the new guy, and identifies him as "Milac." Milac has tousled black hair and the same tragic airbrushing injuries. He appears to like purple eye shadow. A lot. I'm not judging. He says he got Varla's signal, and asks if Chiana's aboard. Varla says, "She is, and we must honor our fallen shipmates and deliver her as soon as possible." Milac asks if the ship is "contained."
Cut to a very angry Pilot, struggling as Aeryn finishes fastening a large collar around his neck. "Why are you doing this?" he moans. Aeryn, wearing a metallic collar of her own, explains that they're going to become an '80s cover band. Actually, she says that he'll be fine if cooperates, but until she specifies what he's cooperating with, I'm going to assume they'll be playing "Lovesong" at a county fair near you. Varla tortures grammar a bit as she explains that Pilot's species cannot be cleansed, so he'll have to wear the collar. Pilot growls and swats Aeryn across the room. Varla touches her forehead, and the collar around Pilot's neck contracts. We see little spikes dig into Pilot's flesh. Varla advises him to do what she asks. Pilot asks what she wants, and she hands over a disk with directions to the nearest Nebari outpost. Then Varla suddenly collapses. Aeryn catches her and gently lowers her to the ground. Then Aeryn explains that Varla ran into some Peacekeepers, and asks him to make sure Moya's sensors are on full alert. Pilot gasps that if there are Peacekeepers around, they should Starburst immediately. Varla touches her forehead again, and we see fluid gurgle inside the collar. Pilot shudders and flecks of foam cover his lips. Ew. Varla happily explains that if Moya Starbursts, the collar will automatically kill Pilot. "We must get to the outpost," she concludes. Aeryn adds, "Please do so, Pilot. We would not like to lose you." She smiles ruefully, like you do when you're telling someone to do something for their own good.
D'Argo is standing in the doorway of one of the cells, wearing another collar. Crichton cues the exposition up, and D'Argo says, "I was in command, and Aeryn came in, a smile on her face for no apparent reason..." Crichton interjects that smiley Aeryn should have been a warning sign. He's wearing a collar, too. D'Argo adds that Aeryn shot him with a mysterious weapon. The camera finally moves inside the cell, and now we see that a collared Chiana is there as well, hanging from some chains. Again. She bitterly jokes, "Wait till they rip your eyes out." D'Argo asks why they chained her up. I'd like to know why everyone just lets that eye-ripping thing pass without comment. Because, y'know, if someone hinted that my eyes were going to be ripped out, I'd want to know more about that immediately. Well. I wouldn't want to know more, exactly, but it would certainly get my full attention. Maybe that's just me. Chiana explains, "I'm their prize." The gang has to clear up a few plot points first, though, so D'Argo notes that Chiana told them that mind-cleansing took 100 years. Chiana says that Rygel and Aeryn got a temporary version that will wear off eventually. Crichton asks why the Nebari are so interested in catching Chiana. Chiana says she doesn't know. Crichton and D'Argo are a little bit skeptical, but before they can press the point, Milac appears outside the cell. He eyes Chiana and says, "So, you are the sister." D'Argo quickly turns and reaches through the cell grating, grabbing Milac. Then he sees Zhaan behind Milac and calls for her to help. Zhaan says, "Worry not," and touches Milac's forehead. D'Argo and Crichton wail in pain, and collapse. Chiana shouts for Zhaan to leave them alone, and Zhaan coos, "Soon you will know the bliss that I know." She chuckles a little. Seriously, I think Zhaan is probably happier when she's evil. So this is a win-win for her.
Meanwhile, Aeryn is stapling Varla's wounds closed. I'll just assume they're surgical staples. Varla says that her injuries aren't important: "All that matters is that Chiana is delivered to Nebari territorial control." Aeryn sniffs that Chiana isn't dangerous to anyone but herself. Varla hints around a little and finally explains that Chiana threatens their insidious plan to "eliminate violent and aggressive behavior." Possibly because she instigates so much of it herself, but that part isn't clear. Aeryn can't believe that Chiana could be a threat to anyone. Varla smirks, "Hopefully that fear will become obsolete."
Back in the cell, Crichton is trying to find a way to open the door. He tells Chiana that D'Argo's probably being cleansed now. "That means it's either you or me ." Chiana uselessly pulls at her chains and sniffles that the temporary cleansing doesn't work on Nebari. Crichton sighs, "Perfect. I'm ." He asks again why the Nebari are after her. She grunts, "I don't have anything!" but admits that Zelus kept asking her about the "resistance." Crichton asks why Milac referred to her as "the sister." Chiana slowly says that her brother, Neri, is dead. She pulls at the chains wildly and gasps, "We've got to get you out of here. Get me out of these chains!" Crichton grabs her and pulls her close to calm her. As she shivers, he says, "Everybody on board has secrets. We all have secrets. You got one? That's fine. Keep it." And just as you're thinking, "Aw, that Crichton is such a nice guy," he hisses, "Right up to the point where they come to fry my brain." Not that he doesn't have a point there. He moves away and asks why she was on the run when Zelus found her. Chiana looks up at him and starts her confession. She and Neri left Nebari Prime when they were young. "We didn't escape," she clarifies. "The government gave us exit permits. We didn't know why they made it so easy. We didn't care, we just ran. It wasn't until two cycles later that Neri found out why."
Flashback. Chiana is twitching on the floor of a Styrofoam cave, gasping in pain. Neri, who looks like another refugee from Velvet Goldmine, helps her sit up as she whimpers, "I can't believe how much it hurts." He says he got through it, so she will, too. His voice is surprisingly gruff. Chiana confirms that once this is over, the "contagion" will be out of her system. Neri says they'll both be clean, adding, "I just wish I could say the same for all the others." Chiana says, "We'll be better when we're out of here. When we get off this planet." Neri bats his mascara-ed lashes and says that he's not going with her. He explains, "Somebody high up in the Establishment gave me the antibody. I saw him. He's the one they're after. I can identify him." Chiana thinks this is all the more reason to flee, and I kind of support her. Neri says that "the Establishment" wants to spread the contagion through the galaxy, so they'll be very interested in finding out who gave Neri the antibody. He argues that they're less likely to get caught if they split up, but swears that he'll see Chiana again someday.
Back on Moya, Chiana says that hundreds of Nebari were infected with this unspecified disease. Crichton asks how they were supposed to spread it around. Chiana says, "Through carnal contact. Neri and I were young. We did an admirable job for them." Crichton asks why she didn't tell them this before, and China explains that the writers hadn't come up with it yet. Well, actually she sniffs that she didn't want to explain that her race were trying to wipe out the rest of the galaxy. She adds, "You barely let me stay aboard Moya as it was." Hey, they let Aeryn stay. I'm just saying. We see Milac lurking outside the cell as Crichton guesses that the Nebari want her so that they can catch Neri. And then Crichton gasps and goes down as his collar is activated. He makes gagging noises and humps the floor a little, which I didn't really need to see. Milac gloats, "It is his time, Chiana. Soon it will be yours."
Oh for fuck's sake. Ack! No, just -- hang on, I'm gonna close the DVD window while I talk about this, because I cannot type while this particular image is staring at me from another window. Jesus! Okay, sorry about that. So, Crichton is in a device that would give Malcolm McDowell dry-heaves. His head is immobilized inside a frame, and there are little pinchers holding his eyelids wide open. Very wide. Much too wide. You can see empty space around his eyeball, is what I'm saying. And it's so startling and wrong that it takes a second to process, so my first reaction is always, "Heh, he looks like a clown!" Because of the big collar and then these giant staring eyes. And then I realize what I'm looking at, and then I start swearing. Gah. But wait, there's more! Part of the framework holding his head is also supporting this little U-shaped dealie which ends in two clamps aimed at his eyes. And okay, really, the framework that seems to be holding his eyes open must be holding a prosthetic of some kind, but knowing how it's done doesn't make it any less disturbing. Bleah. So with that happy image in mind, let's proceed. Varla explains that they're going to remove all of Crichton's "negative impulses." What'll be left? She asks D'Argo to testify. And then we see D'Argo, who's all teary. He sniffs, "All the things I've done as a warrior, all the horrible thoughts I've had all the cycles of my life -- even about you..." He bursts into fresh tears and bawls, "I am so sorry!" Crichton calmly says that they'll talk later. D'Argo wails, "Okaaay," and exits. Hee. Sensitive D'Argo is funny.
While Varla fusses over her instruments, Crichton insists, "You don't have to do this. You can just lock me up." Varla says that he'll thank them for this later. Milac starts poking something into the space above Crichton's eye, Christ, while Crichton shouts for them to stop. Varla says that they have to either cleanse him or kill him. He snaps, "Isn't that against your Nebari Prime Directive?" She says that these are difficult times. And then the clamps spin and open, move in, grab Crichton's eyeballs, and yank them out. Far enough that you can see about an inch of optic nerve. Crichton screams; I just whimper. Unless you have a strong stomach and are desperate to judge how accurate the FX are, I strongly recommend against clicking here. You're welcome! Varla says that struggling will just make it hurt more, which hardly seems possible. And then a little dingus clamps a metal disc onto the optic nerve. Varla explains that this releases a chemical into his neural system. She says, "You should feel the effects almost immediately." The clamps return his eyeballs to their proper place, and we fade out. Ugh.
Chiana is shoved into the galley, where Varla's grabbing a bite. She offers Chiana something to eat, and Chiana sneers, "I'd rather starve." Then we see Rygel hold out a bowl of food as he insists, "Please, take my plate." Heh. As Chiana stares, astonished, Varla says that all of Chiana's friends have been cleansed. Then Varla asks where Neri is. Chiana says he died months ago. Varla disagrees, and puts a little metallic iPod on the table. A hologram starts to play, showing Neri firing weapons at someone. Varla says, "He was positively identified as the leader of an assault on Nebari freight convoys less than ten solar days ago." Milac says that the Establishment has been sending out people to spread the contagion for almost 20 years. Varla expositions that the disease is symptomless: "It merely waits." Chiana asks for what, and Varla says, "A specific time, Chiana, ordained by the Establishment." Milac explains that when it becomes active, the contagion will throw the alien worlds into chaos, and make them easy to conquer. Having gotten the exposition out of the way, they return to the topic of Neri. Chiana says that she doesn't know where he is. Then she gasps and shudders as Varla activates the collar briefly. Varla insists, "You will tell us where he is, or we will simply use you to bring him out of hiding." Chiana wheezes that they won't use her again, and Varla activates the collar again. Chiana drools a little and collapses. You know, back when this aired, I thought the Nebari were going to be the focus of Season 3. Because Crais is the Season 1 baddie, and then we meet Scorpius late in the season. Scorpius is the baddie of Season 2, and late in the season we find out what the Nebari are up to. I thought that was going to be a pattern. It was a simpler time, before I'd learned that sometimes writers would rather defang a good villain than kill him off when they really, really should. But this is the last we'll hear of the Nebari. I'm pretty sure it's the last we hear of Neri, too, which is even weirder. I know Chiana's flighty, but sheesh.
Crichton enters Pilot's chamber, walking with a particularly loose-jointed gait that is funny all by itself. We hear Harvey's echoey voice say, "Frell the greater good." Flash of Harvey sitting in his Command Carrier. He hisses, "Resist. Crichton. Fight them." Crichton pauses, dazed, and then Pilot snaps, "If you've also come to tell me what a wonderful thing the Nebari are doing for you, I am not interested!" Flash of Harvey saying, "Nebari is the devil." Crichton blinks and tells Pilot, "I'm here to tell you that the Nebari are a bunch of geeks!" He goes into a modified Nicholson as he adds, "And their damn mind-cleansing doesn't work on Momma Crichton's baby boy!" He races toward a surprised Pilot and climbs over the console as he raves, "John Crichton! Astronaut! Master of the universe!" He calms down slightly and assures Pilot that he's okay, even if he doesn't know why. Crichton says there was a flash, "And it was like it was soaking up the drug." Pilot confirms that the Nebari don't know that Crichton's unaffected. Crichton goes all surfer and sing-songs, "I drool with the best of 'em, duuuuude." Pilot looks pained. Heh. Pilot explains that Moya is headed for a Nebari outpost, and Crichton asks if he can "veer off course, slow down or something?' Pilot says that Aeryn regularly comes in to check on their progress. He complains that there's a Peacekeeper patrol nearby, and he'll be killed instantly if they Starburst. Crichton sighs, "Well, keep cussin', man. I sure as hell can't get this collar off without some help." He climbs back over the console and heads for the door.
Chiana's chained up in the cell again. Varla lectures her about how this is all for the greater good, and then Crichton bops by in the corridor. Varla opens the cell and asks what he's doing, and Crichton spacily says, "Y'know, Moya's amnexus system is, like, in flux so I'm just, sorta, y'know, lookin' for the source." He stares around the corridor uselessly. Varla asks if the problem affects Moya's speed and safety. Crichton pffts, "Ch--yuuh!" Heh. He goes on, "It'd totally screw the pooch, babe!" Varla thanks him for helping, and leaves the cell. Crichton bounces his head and says, "Cuh-ool. It's for the greater good!" He's enjoying this far too much. Once Varla is gone, he dances into the cell singing, "She's gonna getcha-getcha-getcha," He grabs Chiana by the waist and, in normal tones, asks how she is. Chiana tells him to go away. He moves behind her, one arm looped around her torso, and whispers into her ear that he's not cleansed. "Yeah, right," Chiana sneers, and struggles to throw him off. Crichton grumbles that he doesn't have time for this. He lets her go, walks back in front of her, and as Chiana asks if this is a trick, he punches her in the face. Then he moves back behind her and grabs her arms. "You're really not cleansed?" Chiana asks, nervously. Crichton lowers one hand out of the frame as he says, "My thoughts are as dirty as ever." Johanna thinks that he's doing something inappropriate to Chiana here. She brings this scene up whenever Crichton's relationship to Chiana is described as sibling-like, and says, "I don't think siblings touch each other that way." Anyway, Chiana is relieved, perhaps in more than one way, and moans that she thought she was all alone. Crichton says, "You're not gonna cry on me now, are you?" Chiana says she won't, but that might change when she asks if he has a plan. Crichton hems, "We got no weapons, the DRDs are switched off, and we've got to find a way to get D'Argo or Aeryn back on our side." Chiana says it's impossible, and explains that the "cleansing" drug has to be metabolized. There are distant crackling sounds, and then the engines seem to slow. Crichton releases Chiana and wobbles dizzily as Chiana asks if he's okay. There's a quick close-up of Harvey saying, "Snap out of it," and Crichton insists that he's fine. Chiana looks at him nervously, but finally mentions that Rygel has "a great metabolism." Crichton agrees, and races out. Once he's back in the corridor he swings his arms wildly and makes "whooo-wowowo" noises as he hurries away. Chiana doesn't look very reassured by that.
Crichton comes to a skidding halt at the door to the galley, and resumes his surfer stylings as he says, "Hey, duuude, how's it hanging, man?" Rygel is enjoying another meal, and quietly thanks Crichton for his concern. Crichton takes a seat and eyes the spread Rygel's prepared. He coos, "Oh, munchies. Good idea, man. Don't eat so much, though. You'll Belushi out, cat." Rygel reminds Crichton that he has three stomachs, and turns for the door. Crichton stops him and asks if the food doesn't taste good anymore. Rygel laughs fakely and again tries to leave. This time Crichton stops him more forcefully. Rygel instantly begins pleading, "Please don't tell them!" Crichton loses his surfer accent and tells him to hush while Rygel goes on moaning, "I like my eyeballs where they are!" Aw. Crichton races away and closes the door, and then reassures him, "You, me and Pilot -- we're the only ones who aren't Nebari puppets." Rygel glares at Crichton and ferociously declares, "I'm nobody's puppet!" Hee. On the other hand, he's not eager to piss off the Nebari. Crichton growls, "Buckwheat, I need your help." Rygel lowers his eyebrows sadly, and then the door opens and Milac enters, asking, "Exactly what do you want the Hynerian to help you do, Crichton?" Milac's got good ears. Rygel coos that he's glad to see Milac and quickly announces that Crichton's mind-cleansing didn't take. Crichton punches Rygel in the face, knocking him out. Serves him right, the little jerk. Milac eyes Crichton and smirks, "Obviously not."
Milac, holding a gun, escorts Crichton into Chiana's cell. Chiana asks, "Is this part of your plan?" If it was, you would have just ruined it, so nice going there. Milac asks if there are any communication devices in the cell. Chiana growls that he and Varla took them all. She's interrupted when Milac hands his weapon to Crichton and says, "We don't have much time." He holds up the iPod and tells Chiana, "This can only be activated by contacting your DNA." He wipes it against the inside of her lip and then puts it down. Another hologram of Neri appears. He addresses Chiana, saying, "A lot of things have changed since we saw each other last. I don't know how much you know about what it is I'm doing, but it's important work, very important." He says it's dangerous, and that she's probably better off far away from him. Tears roll down Chiana's cheeks as Neri says that whoever gave her the iPod is one of his people, and under orders not to tell her where Neri is. His speech is interrupted when we hear someone whisper, "Neri, they're coming!" He winds things up by saying that he just wanted her to know that he's okay. "Keep yourself well-hidden, little sister, and out of harm's reach. I love you dearly." The hologram vanishes as Milac lectures, "The only thing that Neri cares more about than the resistance is you." Chiana begs Milac to get her to Neri, and Milac's all, "What did he just say?" Crichton cuts off the argument by asking what they should do now. Milac says, "I have some data that I've got to get back to Neri and the others. As soon as we hit the outpost, I'm going to take the express out of there. You two are on your own." Well, that's helpful. Milac, I don't think you're going to get promoted if Neri hears about this. Chiana threatens to tell Varla that Milac's a traitor, but Milac says that doing that would also reveal that Crichton isn't really cleansed.
Crichton is talking things over with Pilot. Crichton remembers that Varla and Milac were attacked by Peacekeepers, and then says those dangerous words: "I've got an idea." He asks if Pilot could make it seem as if the Peacekeepers had found Moya. Pilot, enthused, says he could manipulate some images in Moya's files. Crichton tells him to get to work and prepares to go hunting D'Argo and Aeryn. But before he leaves, Pilot says that without the DRDs, he'll need someone to make a connection in Moya's neural clusters.
Cut to Crichton in a storage bay, holding that weird oar-bat as he goofily calls, "Oh, Ryyy-gel! Where are you, my little husky?" There's silence, and then a squeaky farting sound. Crichton moves in the direction of the sound, and suddenly knocks a large box off of a shelf. He uses the stick to pry the box open, and Rygel's head pokes out. Heh. Rygel, in his helium-altered voice, says, "Oh, uh, hello!" Rygel nervously asks if Crichton's been cleansed. By way of an answer, Crichton puts his boot on Rygel's neck and shouts, "I'm sick of having you sell us out every chance you get!" Rygel argues, "I don't do it every chance!" Ha! Crichton removes his boot and then grabs Rygel, hauling him across the room and slamming him against the underside of a shelf. He asks how Rygel figured on getting out of this. Rygel whimpers, "They only cleanse those who don't conform. I can be the go-along guy if it means being a part of the action." Crichton spits, "You aren't into self-preservation..." and then slams him down on a table and concludes, "You are the king of it!" Rygel sits up and sniffs, "Not king. Dominar." Crichton wearily says that he and Pilot have a plan, and they need Rygel's help. Rygel harrumphs, "And if I refuse?" Crichton instantly resumes his surfer stylings and loudly calls, "Heyyyy, everybody, Rygel's not mind-cleansed!" Rygel hisses, "Shhh!" Crichton asks if he's made his point. Then we hear Aeryn ask, "What's all this noise?" Wow, Aeryn's not in this one much, is she? Crichton dopily says that he was just calling Rygel. He explains, "He's gonna, uh, help me fix a leak in one of the amnexus conduits." Rygel grinningly agrees. Aeryn says she thought D'Argo was doing that. Rygel agrees, "Yes, he is!" Crichton says, "Naw," and grabs the back of Rygel's cloak, at which point Rygel immediately starts shaking his head and saying, "No." Crichton says that D'Argo is sick, so he and Rygel will take care of it. He swings Rygel up onto his shoulders and tells Aeryn, "Yeah, we're gonna do our service for the greater good." Rygel chuckles, "By-yeee." They bop out, and Crichton manages to slam Rygel's forehead into the bulkhead. Which probably wasn't an accident.
Crichton pops in to Chiana's cell to explain her part of the scheme. Chiana asks, "How do you suppose I get Varla to Command?" Crichton's sure she'll figure something out. He says he needs half an hour, and heads for the door.
Aeryn walks down a corridor and runs into D'Argo. She asks if he's feeling better. D'Argo rather seductively says, "I've never felt any better." Aeryn hrms.
Crichton and Rygel attempt to rewire Moya for HDTV. Or whatever. They fuss with wires, sparks fly, they bitch at each other, and so on. Pilot calls in and announces that Chiana is with the other Nebari in Command. He pointedly adds, "And I have nothing to show them."
Command. Varla idly tortures Chiana with the collar and says, "You said you know where Neri is hiding." Milac looks nervous as Chiana says that she'll tell them where Neri is.
Crichton gripes that he told Chiana to wait half an hour. Pilot tetchily says that it's been half an hour. Crichton was looking for a more supportive comment, I think. Then D'Argo strolls in and asks what's going on. Rygel, who seems to be unclear on the whole "pretending to be cleansed" concept, sighs, "Just what we need, a lobotomized Luxan." Aeryn joins the party, and Crichton resumes his Keanu impression as he asks them to give him a hand with the conduits. D'Argo says he fixed them an hour ago. Aeryn and D'Argo figure that Crichton's lying, which means badness. Crichton, still sounding stoned, says, "Wow, y'know, you're both really mistaken, but if you don't wanna help, just leave me alone. I can work in peace, man." Aeryn thinks they should all go talk to Varla. Rygel starts to move away, but D'Argo snags him. Crichton says he really can't go chat with Varla now. D'Argo says, "Then you leave us no choice," and tongue-zaps Crichton. Or tries to. I guess Crichton somehow managed to dodge, since he goes on arguing that cleansing was supposed to prevent "inappropriate behaviors." Aeryn tells Rygel to drop whatever he's doing. Rygel, holding two futuristic jumper-cables, starts to argue, but Crichton agrees: "It's a good idea, man." He lifts his feet up from the floor, and after hesitating for a moment, Rygel smiles and drops the cables. They hit the floor on top of each other, and a flash of electricity zaps over and hits Aeryn and D'Argo, who collapse. Crichton sighs, "Bitchin', man," and Rygel agrees: "Bitchin'."
Command. Chiana flails around as the collar strangles her. Varla asks again where Neri is. The torture session is interrupted when Crichton strolls in and non-urgently announces that he has urgent news. "It appears as though we're being shadowed by a Peacekeeper patrol." Varla asks for Pilot to verify that. Pilot appears on the clamshell and says that a squadron of Prowlers is closing in on them. Varla calmly orders, "Prepare for confrontation." Crichton points out that Moya doesn't have any weapons. Chiana sneers, "How screwed does that make you?" and gets strangled for her trouble. Varla insists that they can withstand Prowlers, and orders Pilot to increase speed. Pilot adds that there's also a Command Carrier. Crichton asks for a visual. The viewscreen shows an awful lot of ships zipping toward them. As the screen zooms in on the Peacekeeper's guns, Crichton offers, "Whoa." Varla suggests taking defensive maneuvers, but Chiana says that the only option is to starburst. Which, Pilot reminds them all, will kill him. Varla insists that they're almost to the outpost. Pilot says that the Command Carrier's cannons have locked onto Moya. Milac insists, "They wouldn't fire before contacting us." Then, less confidently, he asks, "Would they?" Pilot reports that the Peacekeepers have opened fire. On the viewscreen, there's a flash, and the ship shakes. Pilot starts reporting damage to Moya. Sparks spray from the consoles as Moya is, apparently, hit by another burst of fire. Amid the chaos, Chiana tries to run, but her collar activates and she collapses.
And then Crais appears on the viewscreen. His staticky image announces that a boarding party is about to dock. He says, "Do not attempt to turn them away. If you do, it will mean the destruction of your ship. I warn you, do not test me." Varla asks how far they are from the outpost. Chiana weakly says, "You'll never make it." Varla chokes her some more, just for giggles, and Chiana collapses onto a console. Pilot answers that they're an hour from the outpost, and there's no way they can outrun the Peacekeepers without Starbursting. Crichton suggests releasing Pilot so that they can Starburst. Varla climbs up onto the console, the better to loom at Chiana, and declares, "If the Peacekeepers get the girl, she'll lead them to Neri." She pulls out her goofy Nebari gun, and then Crichton swiftly declares, "That goes against everything Nebaris stand for, man! You can't just kill her in cold blood!" Varla says it's for the greater good. Moya shakes again, and Chiana and Varla are thrown to the floor. Crichton grabs Milac and asks for his gun, but Milac refuses because this scene has to go on a little longer. Crichton tells Milac that he has to choose. Chiana manages to slug Varla a couple of times before Varla activates the collar again. Milac finally speaks up, saying that they can't "terminate the prize that [they] were sent to retrieve!" There's an explosion, and suddenly Crichton is struggling with Varla for her weapon. It's an ineffective struggle, since Varla almost immediately aims the gun at Crichton, who confesses that they aren't really under attack. He shouts, "Pilot, terminate the simulation!" Pilot protests briefly, but then gives in, and suddenly the viewscreen is empty and the ship is calm. Varla, still aiming at Crichton, asks what would have happened if she'd released Pilot. Crichton says, "We would starburst away from your rendezvous point, you foul skank." Varla activates Crichton's collar, and tells Milac, "Discipline and faith defeat any insurgence." Milac doesn't look too happy about that. Chiana suddenly rushes Varla, they trade blows, and Crichton grabs Varla's arms so she can't activate the collar. And then Milac shoots Varla from behind. Finally. As she dies, Varla gasps, "You betrayed me..." Milac self-righteously declares, "And you have betrayed the spirit of our people." For some obscure reason, Crichton tells Milac, "Sorry you had to do that." Milac says he had no choice, and marches away. Crichton makes sure that Chiana is okay, and then Pilot asks if the simulation was effective. Crichton wearily says, "You're the best. You were great."
Aeryn, D'Argo, and Zhaan (hey, remember Zhaan? Yeah, neither did anyone else.) are locked in a cell while Rygel lurks outside. Rygel says that they'll be imprisoned until the cleansing wears off. Aeryn growls, "It has frelling worn off!" Rygel says they have to be sure. D'Argo reminds us all that he has to go rescue his son. Rygel says that Pilot is plotting a course, so D'Argo can just "stay in there and metabolize." He cackles and swoops off.
Milac marches through the hangar. Chiana suddenly appears behind him and declares that she's going with him. Milac grumpily says that Neri told him not to bring Chiana back. Chiana protests that she wants to help her brother. Milac says that he'll say that everyone was killed in an attack. Crichton appears in the background and says that Milac is right. He tells Chiana, "If you go into Nebari territory, you will be recognized and arrested." Chiana sniffles that she wants to see her brother. Crichton says, "Your brother's alive. He's alive. Take that. It's more than you had yesterday." Chiana sniffles that she wants to join him, and Crichton says that he knows, "But since when do people like us get what we want?" Milac having snuck off in the meantime, the Nebari ship powers up. The Nebari ship leaves Moya as Crichton pulls Chiana into a hug and leads her away.