Previously: kissing, arguing, fighting, kerzapping, revealing, decommissioning, exploding, decommissioning, sulking, wedding, fossilizing.
The wedding party has cleared out, and D'Argo, Chiana, Rygel, and Tyno are alone with a couple of guards. They admire the statues of Katralla and Crichton. As much as one can. Rygel grunts, "I think [Crichton] should have taken his pose more seriously." Tyno suggests that Crichton did the best he could. There's a little chatter to establish that Scorpius has one day to get out of Dodge, and that they expect Moya to reappear once he's gone. Well, Rygel probably doesn't care, because he's planning to stay on Faber'Ge. He explains, "Crichton will need advising, and the food's good." Rygel's so cute sometimes. D'Argo thinks it's time to say goodbye. Tyno and the guards leave, and D'Argo holds a headset to where his ear ought to be and says, "John?" We hear Crichton's voice, which sounds as if it's coming through some tin cans. Erm. So they have mind-reading communication devices of some kind? That's useful. In fact, it's so useful that you'd think somebody would be impressed by it. Maybe it only works on statufied people. Anyway, Crichton says that he feels fine, and D'Argo passes that along before Crichton adds, "I'd really love to pick my nose." D'Argo tells everyone, "He remains without a sense of humor." Considering his circumstances, I'd say he's doing pretty well. Crichton asks to speak to Chiana, who says, "You look great in bronze." He tells her that she looks great in pink. And, scene. That was kind of pointless, wasn't it? I guess it's just so we know that he wasn't killed by the transformation, but I'd have assumed that so it seems a bit needless.
Some time later, the room is empty, and the lights have been dimmed. Clavor snivels in, cursing and exclaiming, "I'm gonna topple his statue!" He tries. He fails. So he punches Crichton in the head with a metallic "bonk." Then he whimpers in pain. His stupidity is truly profound. Cargn enters and dryly suggests "a more permanent tactic." Clavor asks what, and Cargn fires up some kind of wrist-mounted light saber and neatly slices Crichton's head off. Whoops. The head falls neatly into Clavor's lap.
Cut to a big green pool of sizzling acid. Cargn and Clavor have moved to a room decorated with a lot of hanging chains, a couple of flaming lamps, and the aforementioned vat of acid. Cargn asks if Crichton is still alive, and Clavor explains, "Each cell is self-encapsulated. As long as the parts stay in their metallized state, he can be reconstituted." He adds that his grandfather was broken in half by an earthquake, but when he was restored he just had a "severe limp." Cargn holds Crichton's head above the vat and declaims, "Foundry acid should ensure this ruler fares worse." Clavor grabs the head for some final thoughts. He tells Crichton, "Our laws state that a couple must rule together. That's why the crown soon must pass to me, because you can't rule with one little head!" With that, he drops Crichton's head into the vat, and there's a dramatic cue on the soundtrack which is only slightly undercut by the way the head bobs around on the surface of the acid in a way that suggests it's made of styrofoam rather than metal.
Credits. How do you think the whole "spend eighty years as a statue" tradition began? Someone had to be the first, right? Who was ruler while they were out of commission? And why eighty years in particular?
Aeryn and Dregon are out in the Barren Lands. From here, they seem to consist of rocky seashore cliffs. Aeryn and Dregon have changed into white outfits with brown piping, and Aeryn's carrying some climbing equipment. Oh, dear: rock climbing. Aeryn suggests a method of scaling the cliffs, and Dregon agrees. She then tries to pick a fight about how agreeable Dregon is and fails, because he's agreeable. She asks what Dregon's skill at climbing is, and he says he's been rated expert. Then he grabs Aeryn, swings her into a dip, and kisses her. Aeryn doesn't react except to ask if that's another local custom: "Kiss your climbing partner?" Dregon says, "Different local custom. Kiss women you're attracted to." Aeryn pretty much ignores the whole thing and they get ready to start climbing.
The court has discovered that Crichton's been decapitated, and the Empress is threatening to do the same to whoever is responsible. D'Argo interjects, "Surely you don't think --" and then the Empress interrupts him. She says that the planet is under "stringent law" and that no one can leave or communicate with their ships until Crichton is restored. And then she sweeps out. Everyone else is pretty calm about the situation, all things considered. Maybe they figure it's just a fraternity prank. Tyno asks where Aeryn is, and Rygel sounds way too defensive as he says, "We don't know!" Tyno notes, "She was upset that Crichton was to marry the Princess. I saw it with my own eyes." D'Argo tries again: "You cannot possibly think -- " and is interrupted again. Poor D'Argo. Rygel thinks Scorpius is to blame. Tyno lectures, "Everyone is suspect, especially off-worlders. If Prince Clavor assumes the throne, I cannot guarantee your safety." Rygel moans, frightened. Tyno tells them to find Crichton's head.
Back in the -- what was it again? Oh yes, a foundry. Naturally there's a foundry in the Royal Palace. Crichton's head is scooped out of the vat with what looks like a wiffle shovel, and dropped to the floor. He's been saved! By...Scorpius! Hooray? Scorpius tosses the shovel aside, which is already melting from the acid. Then he picks up the head for the obligatory "Alas, poor Crichton," soliloquy. As he wipes the acid off with a cloth -- which I guess is made of stronger stuff than the shovel -- he expositions: "Very fortunate I sampled your DNA when you were in the Aurora Chair. There would have been no other way to track you." Say, that is fortunate. He mentions that the statue is "designed to withstand eighty cycles of airborne corrosives" but three hours in the acid was testing the limits. He smirks, "You're beginning to pit." Heh. Then he mwah-ha-has about collecting the rest of Crichton's body and finally getting the wormhole knowledge. There's a clank in the background, and Scorpius quickly bags the head and then rather plaintively calls out, "Who's there?" There's no response, so he turns and uses his scary growly voice to repeat the question. And then he's shot several times, and collapses. Golly.
On Moya, the DRDs are assisting Zhaan as she fiddles with some equipment on the Farscape. Kahaynu advises her to use a transport pod to leave. He says, "All life is precious. Yours should continue." Zhaan sulks, "And Moya's shouldn't?" Kahaynu testily explains about the gunships again, and says that it's time for him to leave. He starts hovering away, but Zhaan stomps after him, lecturing, "If Moya's life is to end capriciously, and Pilot's also, you and I are going to remain with them!" Kahaynu isn't interested in joining the wake. Zhaan ponders for a moment and then tells the DRD, "Now! In reverse!" The DRD beeps at the controls and pushes a button. Behind Kahaynu, the Farscape's engine whirrs to life and its fan begins sucking up his contrail. Zhaan orders him to recommission Moya. Kahaynu says that he can't and begs her to turn the engine off. As his form swirls away, Zhaan hisses, "How does it feel for your prayers to go unanswered, Kahaynu?" He gasps, and then he, and the smoke, are gone. The engine shuts down, and it takes Zhaan about two seconds to start repenting. She whispers, "Dear Goddess. In my rage, what have I done?" Zhaan, pick an attitude and commit to it, okay?
Chiana sits up in bed as D'Argo enters. She's wearing a white robe that's kind of flocked or something. It's pretty. D'Argo sits down wearily and says, "I cannot find Crichton's head anywhere." Hee. It's just a funny line. D'Argo isn't really able to see the humor, though. He moans, "I'm the one who talked him into it." Chiana pulls him close and reminds him, "We had no other options. You said that yourself. We take what we get."
Cut to Crichton's head, which is pulled out of the bag by Jenavia. She puts on the headphones just in time to hear Crichton give a particularly ear-shattering scream, and lifts the headphones away with a grimace. Crichton shouts, "My body! My body!" She calmly assures him that she's working on it, adding, "If I do this right, your current state is not terminal." She's in the statue room, and there's a guard unconscious on the floor, which is a nice touch. She fusses with some equipment as Crichton asks what happens if it's not done right. "Terminal," Jenavia replies. Crichton snaps at her to go find some experts. She says he's too vulnerable to spend time on that. Crichton asks if she's got a plan. Jenavia says she's going to "revitalize" him, noting, "Your speech abilities are so limited right now you couldn't convince the empress you're a headless statue." I like her. She finishes playing with the Stargatery and picks up Crichton's head. He says, "Woah, nice dress." Heh. Jenavia says, "Save it. When the empress sees you my true fiancee and his Scarran will be in deep dren. Then you can be remade into a statue." Crichton is unimpressed by her plan. She plops his head onto his body and gives it a sharp twist while muttering about aligning the parts. Crichton grunts as if that hurt, which doesn't make any sense, but whatever makes him happy. She starts for the controls, and Crichton starts yipping at her to wait a second. She pulls off the headphones and presses a switch. One ray of magic light later, Crichton is defrosted. He works his jaw and slowly lowers his arm as Jenavia asks if he can turn his neck. He moves his head a little, and she asks if he can speak. After a few groans, he finally says, "Thank you." She asks if he can walk. He moves to stand up, and falls over. That's a no, then. Jenavia rolls her eyes and sighs.
Clavor and Cargn are pedeconferencing in the gardens. They're walking really quickly, too. I wonder if it's easier for Cargn to stay balanced that way. I'm a little bit obsessed with that costume. Anyway, Cargn grumbles that they shouldn't be seen together until Clavor is king. Clavor harrumphs that Crichton's body has vanished, and so someone must have revitalized him. Cargn asks, "Without his head, is that really a concern?" Clavor spits that the data indicates that Crichton's head was reattached beforehand. He grabs Cargn by his collar and says, "Do something, oh magnificent representative of a supposedly master race, or you will surely die at my mother's hand. And I? I will cheer her on!" As Clavor stomps off, Cargn growls and makes the air go woobly. In close-up you can really see all the fine detail on the head.
Rock climbing, Joel. Out on the cliffs, Aeryn calls down to ask Dregon what's wrong. Which is funny, because what's wrong is that he's clinging to the side of a rather crumbly cliff hanging over a rocky shore. She's not very observant. Dregon unconvincingly insists that he's fine, but doesn't move. Aeryn starts back down as she asks if he's injured. Dregon finally confesses, "We're too high!" Oh, kids, never toke up before you go mountaineering. Aeryn descends to just above him and asks, "You've done this before, haven't you? Is that right? You were rated expert, correct?" Dregon confesses, "At the training facility." He's never climbed outside before. Aeryn, exasperated, moves down and gets him to grab her hand. Dregon starts to panic. She tries to talk him through it as one of his feet slips. He tries to regain his footing, and when he slides again Aeryn lets go to steady herself. So he starts clinging to her pant cuff as Aeryn shouts, "No, not my leg, the wall! Hold on to the waaaaaall!" And then they both plummet off the cliff and down toward the waves. Isn't this what the safety line is for?
While the various factions are searching for Crichton, Jenavia has taken him camping. This is quite the outdoorsy episode. She leads him into a tent packed with supplies, and Crichton asks where they are. "Somewhere no one will ever find you," she non-answers. He starts to complain about the vagueness of the reply, but decides to collapse to the ground instead. Jenavia gives him a kick and confirms that John Crichton is his real name. She asks, "And which Sebacean house is that from?" Jenavia has changed into a slightly nicer looking version of the climbing outfit Aeryn's wearing. Crichton is still in his scarlet wedding clothes. Crichton blearily says, "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." Basically, Jenavia continues pestering him with questions. For his part, Crichton tries out some of his best seductive glances while declining to provide any answers. Jenavia did notice that Scorpius wasn't acting like someone who was on the same side as Crichton, so good for her. She sums things up: "If you're not Sebacean, you're not Peacekeeper. If you're not Peacekeeper, you're not Special Directorate. If you're not Special Directorate, you can't be a Disrupter. And if you're not a Disrupter --" She grabs Crichton's neck and pops out one of her pointy weapons. The ones on her wrists, I mean. Aiming the blade at his throat she concludes, "-- Then you know too much about me." As we fade out, Crichton says, "Oh." Heh.
And we fade back in to the same scene because there's no commercial break. During the interval, Crichton has apparently explained his situation. Jenavia says, "That's either the most pathetic fabrication I've ever heard, or the most pathetic life I could ever imagine." Crichton interjects, "Like there aren't some whacked-out antecedents to a chick with the stiletto in her wrist." He must be feeling better if he's using phrases like "whacked-out antecedents." Jenavia ponders for a moment and retracts her blade, releasing him. Crichton says, "Better," and rather hopefully asks if she killed Scorpius. Jenavia says, "Leave bodies lying around? They'd look for a killer. It's not like he's going to report the assault." She tells him that she saved him because he's the best way of keeping the Scarrans from forming an alliance with Faber'Ge. She pleads, "If I fail, so many innocent lives will be lost. Help me do my job, and I'll help you get what you want, whatever it is." He ponders that and warns, "Things never work out like you plan." She smirks, "That's what makes it fun."
Aeryn has improvised splints immobilizing her left leg. She drags some branches over to where Dregon is laying on the beach and slowly eases herself down to the ground. Both of them have scrapes and cuts on their faces. Dregon asks if there's another way to contact help. There's not. As she adjusts her splints, Aeryn says, "Inland is our only hope. Unless of course you want to stay." Dregon begs her not to leave him. Aeryn points at him with a knife and snaps, "Don't tempt me!" Okay, so they went rock climbing with inadequate safety lines and no means of calling for help if they got into trouble. If the Darwin Awards held a banquet, these two would be guests of honor.
Moya. Zhaan blesses Pilot, who seems to be unconscious. Suddenly the echoey voice of Kahaynu says, "Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan!" He swirls into being once more, and a disgusted Zhaan observes, "You live." I guess she repented her repentance. Kahaynu replies, "As does Moya." The ship's lights begin coming on, and Pilot slowly opens his eyes. Zhaan sobs, "What kind of repellant game is this?" Kahaynu says that after exploring Moya, he knew she was "a worthy soul." But he needed to know if Zhaan was worthy: "These are gentle beasts, who will ultimately follow the directions of those in control. Should you desire it, Priestess, you could produce an army of killing machines." Pilot weakly says that Zhaan would never do such a thing. Kahaynu agrees that Zhaan has demonstrated that she would not let anyone exploit Moya. Did she? If you say so. Zhaan doesn't much care about being validated, so she orders Kahaynu off the ship. Kahaynu agrees to leave, but says that Moya wants to tell Zhaan something first. He raises his hand, and Moya's synthesized voice says, "One request." Zhaan smiles and says she'll do anything. "Sing!" Moya throbs. Zhaan laughs happily. Aw. Well, all of that made precious little sense, but it is kind of moving when Moya talks.
There appears to be a fashion show going on at the bar. I'm not sure. A blonde is walking on some kind of platform looking pleased as people applaud. If it is a fashion show, that's amusing, because of course they all wear nothing but white. I suppose she might be a performer of some kind. D'Argo walks up to Scorpius at the bar and asks if he knows where Crichton is. Scorpius doesn't, but insists, "I'm as anxious to find him as you are." D'Argo says, "For his wormhole knowledge," because it's been ten minutes since anyone has mentioned that. I do appreciate that they tried to keep the episodes reasonably self-explanatory. I just don't know if each scene needs to be self-explanatory. Oh well. Scorpius says, "That's secondary at this point. I'm without accompaniment. Totally unarmed. Should the Empress wish to execute us, I have no doubt she will succeed." He asks if D'Argo knows Cargn, and also provides Cargn's first name: Saskaretski. Or maybe that's his title. Either way, it's fun to say "Saskaretski." Less fun to type it, though. Scorpius figures that Cargn and Clavor are the most likely suspects in Crichton's latest disappearance. D'Argo asks what Scorpius wants, and Scorpius says that if he can take the wormhole knowledge, he'll help them get Crichton off of Faber'Ge alive and unharmed. D'Argo skeptically asks, "You're half Scarran, aren't you?" Scorpius hmphs that he shouldn't be judged based on that. "Because it would find him lacking!" Cargn growls from two feet away. Okay, seriously, how do you not notice Cargn walking up to you? Cargn compliments D'Argo on coming from "a great race of warriors," and congratulates Scorpius on getting one of his agents to marry Katralla. He asks, "How did you defeat my DNA alterations of her?" D'Argo says that Crichton and Scorpius aren't allies. Cargn asks, "Have I misjudged the situation that badly?" See, it's all just a wacky mix-up! Now they're all gonna have a few beers and laugh about the situation. But first Scorpius and Cargn have to bicker about the Scarrans forming an alliance with Faber'Ge. Then Cargn whirls and asks, "Luxan brute, where is Crichton?" while making his air-wooblifying hand gesture. D'Argo falls back against a wall and gasps that he doesn't know. Cargn asks if Crichton's been revived, and D'Argo doesn't know that, either. "Is there anyone who does?" an exasperated Cargn asks. D'Argo is compelled to say, "Chiana thinks she does, but --" Cargn releases him, and D'Argo collapses. Scorpius calmly offers to make a deal with Cargn, who growls, "I would rather race you to the Nebari girl." Scorpius says, "The means to our goals may be the same." Well, yes. I think that was Cargn's point. They trade more barbs about a Peacekeeper-Scarran war, and Cargn concludes, "I would still rather race you to the girl." Cargn hurries for the door, while Scorpius walks out the opposite way.
Dregon is being jerked across the ground on a litter made of driftwood. He gasps, "Please!" Aeryn pauses and asks, "Please stop dragging you?" Dregon whimpers, and Aeryn says that she knows it hurts. She asks, "You want it to not hurt?" Dregon does. Aeryn says, "Well, time," and then screams, "hold on to the FRELLING WALL!" With that, Aeryn continues dragging a very quiet Dregon.
Back at the bar, D'Argo races over to Rygel and asks if he's seen Chiana. Rygel hiccups as he says, "Have you tried looking under your sheets?" D'Argo explains that Scorpius and Cargn may have grabbed her. Rygel says that he and Chiana were looking for Crichton, but he had to take a break. "I was so nervous I had to stop for a bite. Which I'm too nervous to eat!" He continues hiccuping, and D'Argo rather parentally asks what's wrong. In between hiccups, Rygel explains that he learned an interesting fact: "The last time the Empress threatened to execute off-worlders -- she did!" D'Argo gently grabs Rygel's head to get his attention. Hands on the puppet! He explains that Scorpius and Cargn will torture Chiana, and she doesn't actually know anything. Rygel offers to float up above the streets to look for her. D'Argo happily bustles off as Rygel assures him, "We'll find her!" Okay. So when Cargn was interrogating him, D'Argo was cut off before he could finish saying, "Chiana thinks she does, but she doesn't." Or something similar. That's fine. But why does Chiana think she knows where Crichton is?
Clavor walks into his gazebo of conspiracies and asks, "What the frell is that?" Cargn is standing there with an unconscious Chiana draped over his shoulder. Oh, she's a counterbalance! Cargn says that, as he suspected, Chiana didn't know where Crichton was. Clavor duhs, "So get rid of her." Cargn thinks he can use Chiana in another way. But Clavor is tired of Cargn's schemes and, rather stupidly, says so. Cargn tosses Chiana down -- ow! -- and angrily points out that if Crichton doesn't turn up by tomorrow, Clavor will be king. Clavor hmphs, "Through no efforts of yours, sadly. Which means, I no longer need your allegiance." Cargn isn't getting any happier. Clavor says, "My mother knows about us." Oh my. "I can't be married until I renounce you." He adds that the Empress is going to start the wedding ceremony with the execution of all off-worlders (festive!), so Cargn should be grateful for the warning. Cargn hisses that he can't escape. With a "them's the breaks" shrug, Clavor turns to leave. Cargn says he has one more question, as as Clavor turns, he makes the claw-gesture of wooblitude. Cargn asks, "Do you know that, as promised, I am about to kill you?" Clavor screams, "No!" as his face goes from woobly to melty, and he collapses. "Yes," says Cargn.
Crichton tells Jenavia, "Just a little tingling in the hands and feet. I'm good to go." Jenavia says that there are dangerous animals around at night. Well, actually, what she says is, "Local animals are carnivorous after dark." So, during the day they're vegetarians? That's peculiar. I'm gonna assume she meant the first version. Crichton says they'll leave at dawn then, adding, "I have people to protect." Jenavia says that she does, too, and asks if she can trust him. They look at each other intently as Crichton slowly says, "I'm a regular boy scout. I do what I have to do." She coos, "I assume you do it well." Crichton enters the tent.
In his room, D'Argo sniffs inquisitively, and then the door opens and Scorpius enters. Scorpius says that he's found Cargn, and wants D'Argo's help in killing him. When D'Argo asks why he should do that, Scorpius explains that Cargn has Chiana. "And you want her." D'Argo asks, "And you don't?" Scorpius just wants Crichton. D'Argo says, "He'll die first." Scorpius gets very close to D'Argo and menaces, "You underestimate the strength of a relationship. Even your friend does not yet understand."
Back at the campsite, supper is cooking over a fire. And Crichton and Jenavia are cooking in the river. They're naked, kissing in the water and splashing around happily. Well, it's slightly random, but it's nice that he's finally getting some.
Later, they're drying out by the fire, and Jenavia removes her egg-necklace saying, "I want you to have this." She holds it in front of her and suddenly a bolt of energy shoots out and zaps a nearby bush. "A little stuns, and a lot kills." So that's what she shot Scorpius with. He takes the necklace gingerly as she warns him that she may not be able to protect him from all of the baddies tomorrow. He whispers, "One step at a time," thoughtfully, and apparently the first step is more kissing.
Dregon and Aeryn are camped out by their own campfire, but they're considerably less frolicsome. Dregon apologizes for being dumb. He doesn't put it that way, but it's what he means. Aeryn asks if he always pursues women he doesn't know. Dregon says, "If I'm drawn to them. Would you be lying here, helpless, giving up, if Crichton were back there waiting for you?" Aeryn sniffs that he wouldn't understand. Dregon asks if her broken leg hurts, and she says she's trained to deal with it. Dregon says, "You're not trained to deal with emotions, so you're afraid of them." She looks confused as he continues, "Emotional pain. You wear it like a badge. It means you've been there. And it can't get callused, because each fresh hurt stings like the first." Oh, it can so. Um, I've heard. Aeryn sneers, "Why would you want that?" Dregon rhapsodizes, "Because of all the days before it hurts. The good days. When you're in love." He says it's too bad Aeryn can't go back and tell Crichton how she feels. Aeryn lies down and sniffs that it wouldn't make any difference: "He's a frelling statue." Dregon points out that even as a statue, he can hear and see. "He'll know, Aeryn. At least he'll know."
Jenavia walks down the corridor of the palace. She's accessorized her usual outfit with a horrid bolero jacket. From a hidden nook, Crichton says, "You're late." Jenavia smirks, "I'm moving a little slow [sic]." Oh, again, my. Crichton's reclaimed his Peacekeeper clothes again. He asks if she's ready, and she says, "I've grieved with the best of them." Crichton says it's show time. Jenavia raises her hand to reveal one of the vials. Crichton eyes it for a second and says, "We're not compatible." She tosses it over her shoulder, smiles, and says, "You always know just what to say." Crichton replies, "Not always. Sometimes I know who to say it to." Jenavia smiles again, and starts to walk away, telling him to give her a few minutes before he follows.
Aeryn is making unhappy noises as she slowly hauls Dregon over a sheet of rock. Dregon calls to her and points out a figure on the horizon calling ot them. In fact, it is the goofy guy who saw Aeryn kiss Rygel. He calls to them, offering help. Aeryn moans, "Yes," and eases herself down to the ground to rest. Dregon stammers, "I know this didn't turn out like we wanted. I know I was a hindrance. But I was hoping we could go out again." Aeryn stares into space, wondering if she really went on this whole vision quest just for that lame punchline.
Jenavia sobs over Clavor's burned body. Tyno says that there was nothing they could do. Rygel, near tears himself for a different reason, asks if the Empress knows that Cargn is responsible. Tyno says she does, "And he will be the first one put to death." "But why the rest of us?" Rygel moans. Tyno snaps, "Because, fool that he was --" he pauses to tell Jenavia, "No offense." Heh. Tyno continues, "Prince Clavor was her son." I believe he meant to say, "Fool though he was." Or else that makes no sense whatsoever. Though it is Farscape, so it's hard to be sure. Tyno says that all off-worlders will be executed. Rygel sobs, and then Crichton enters, loudly proclaiming, "I feel compelled to disagree with the Empress on that decision." Rygel and Tyno greet him with relief. Crichton tells Jenavia, "Sorry about your Prince, but I hear he deserved it." She gives him a mighty slap in response, and runs out, bawling. Tyno asks who rescued Crichton, and Crichton snaps, "Later!" He asks where everyone is. Rygel fills him in: Aeryn's missing, D'Argo is with Scorpius, and they believe that the soon-to-be-executed Cargn has captured Chiana. Crichton marches for the door, and Tyno asks where he's going. "I don't know; I'll let you know when I get there." Exit Crichton. Rygel asks a flummoxed Tyno, "I assume my execution is off?"
D'Argo and Scorpius enter the foundry. We can hear Chiana sobbing, and a second later we see her chained up and dangling over the acid. She's crying through a gag as Cargn steps out of the shadows and warns them to stay back. Scorpius calmly informs D'Argo that if they move any closer they'll be in range of Cargn's woobly attack. D'Argo says, "There are two of us, and one of him. How badly do you want him dead?" Scorpius gives a slight nod, and they separate and start edging around the room. Cargn warns them that if they don't stop, he'll kill Chiana. Scorpius asks if Chiana told Cargn where Crichton is. Cargn snorts, "Of course not, she doesn't know. But she did say you aren't allies, and that in all probability you did not come here to impede my plan." Scorpius's voice starts to become harsher as he says, "It must be painful to realize you have been defeated - yes, defeated - by nothing more than your own suspicions." Cargn mockingly asks if it's too hot for Scorpius. D'Argo asks what's happening, and Cargn tells him, "When [Scorpius] becomes incapacitated, I shall turn my full attention to you." Scorpius quickly insists that D'Argo shouldn't listen to Cargn. Cargn helpfully explains that the Scarran half of Scorpius likes the heat, but the Peacekeeper half doesn't. Scorpius clings to the dangling chains to steady himself and pants angrily. Cargn continues, "Thermal regulator suit. Cooling rods inserted directly into his brain. Tell me the rumors are true. Please tell me your search for thermic constancy is tormentful!" That's another weirdly funny line. Scorpius roars and rushes at Cargn, who slams him against a wall. Fight! Finally! D'Argo swings across the room on one of the chains and joins the fray. Cargn tries to use his wrist-saber to slice D'Argo, but D'Argo knocks his arm up. The laser severs one of the chains holding Chiana, and she screams as she dangles from one arm over the acid. Cargn grabs D'Argo from behind, but D'Argo pushes back with his feet, slamming Cargn against a wall and breaking free of his grip. Cargn and D'Argo trade a few more blows, and then Cargn knocks D'Argo off his feet. He picks D'Argo up and prepares to toss him into the acid. Which is when Crichton races in and starts zapping Cargn with Jenavia's necklace. Cargn drops D'Argo and turns to attack Crichton. Crichton zaps him some more, but Cargn keeps advancing. A few more shots, and Cargn pauses in front of the vat to gasp, "You haven't defeated meeeee!" Crichton sighs, "Obviously not...but you dumped me in the acid, so let's see how you like it!" He grabs one of the chains and swings over to slam both feet into Cargn's chest. Cargn falls back into the acid. He splashes around, his head rears up out of the acid once, and then he just gurgles and sinks away. Aw, it's just like when Godzilla was killed with the Oxygen Destroyer. Sniff. Crichton looks horrified until Chiana reminds everyone of her predicament by screaming again. D'Argo looks up just in time to see the chain holding her snap. She plummets, and D'Argo bolts up and leaps across the vat just in time to crash into her, knocking her out of danger. They both crash to the ground and cling to each other as Crichton, wide-eyed, gasps, "How Batman was that?!" After taking a moment to recover, Crichton asks if Scorpius is dead. D'Argo pointedly says, "If he isn't, he should be by the time we come out." D'Argo walks out with Chiana wrapped around him. Aw. Crichton finds Scorpius, collapsed in the corner. He hauls Scorpius over to the acid and holds his head over the edge of the vat. And then he shivers.
Flash to Crichton screaming in the Aurora Chair.
Scorpius stares at the acid swirling inches away from his face as Crichton leans down and rasps, "I'm not your enemy. I'm not your friend. You leave me the hell alone, or the time we part, one of us'll be dead." He sounds firm, but his eyes are terrified. He releases Scorpius and backs away. Scorpius turns his head to watch as Crichton hurries out of the room nervously. As soon as Crichton's gone, Scorpius stands right up, clearly not weakened at all. He smirks, and dips his gloved hand in the acid playfully with no effect. Exit Scorpius, ominously.
Crichton's got his leather duster back, and all's right with the world. He's in the statue room, explaining to the Empress that he's not going to be fossilized again. Tyno watches in the background as the Empress sniffs, "If you're the kind of man who would walk away from his own child, we would not want you to rule." Crichton asks what she's talking about, and the Empress explains that Katralla is pregnant. Crichton insists, "We never --" She says that Katralla was impregnated with the DNA samples they took from Crichton, and asks, "Did you really think a system this stable would leave so important a detail to chance?" Crichton stares at the Katralla-statue for a second and quickly says, "Make me a statue." The Empress teases him about changing his mind, and Crichton declares, "A child deserves two parents. My child deserves a father." The Empress tells Tyno to arrange for Crichton to be statufied. Tyno, pained, says that it can't be done. Crichton and the Empress stare as he explains, "Based on our findings, human physiology would not tolerate the process a second time." He says that if Crichton tries it again, he'll die. Crichton, furious, says he won't live long enough to be there for his family. Tyno snaps, "I know!" and more quietly adds, "I'm sorry." Crichton stares at Katralla for a moment, and finally tells Tyno to take his place. He says, "Nobody knows me, right? The public? They don't know who I am." Tyno agrees. Nobody but the entire wedding party. Whatever. Crichton tells the Empress that Tyno will be the king. She objects Tyno can't have children with Katralla, and Crichton snaps, "She's already pregnant. And it satisfies everything that you need. And it gives my child a good father." He looks at Katralla again and adds, "And they love each other." He picks up the headphones and asks if she's okay with the plan. We hear her say, "Yes. Thank you." He apologizes that he won't be there when she's revived, and Katralla assures him, "I'll never forget." The Empress gives the plan her blessing, as long as no one ever finds out. Crichton smiles, "Good guys win for once." He hands the headphones to Tyno and heads for the door, quietly adding "...And I have a child that I'll never know." Tyno puts the headphones on and calls, "Princess Katralla wants to know if you'd like to see your offspring." Crichton freezes for a moment, then turns back and nods. He approaches the Stargate, under which stands a little girl. Crichton kneels and says hi. She says, "Hi, are you my dad?" He starts to smile as he says that he is. She says, "I love you, Daddy." He pulls her close for a hug, and then just stares, drinking in the sight of her. And then she flickers, and she's gone. Crichton wearily walks over to Katralla and lightly puts his hand on her shoulder for a moment. Then he hurries for the door, and as he passes Tyno he says, "You take care of my little girl."
Moya swooshes along. Chiana is standing in their shower as she asks D'Argo why Crichton spared Scorpius. D'Argo, full of foreshadowing, says, "It was a mistake. One I feel will come back to haunt us." Gee, you think? Chiana confirms that Scorpius can't follow them, and D'Argo says they're safe for the time being. Chiana wraps a shimmery towel around herself as she asks if Crichton told D'Argo what happened to Moya. D'Argo says that whatever happened, Zhaan and Pilot aren't talking about it. Chiana sits and kisses one of D'Argo's tentacles, then says she's proud of him. D'Argo says, "I'm proud of you. You handled yourself well." Chiana giggles, "You handled me-self well, too." She asks what's wrong, and D'Argo sighs that he's sad that Crichton will never see his daughter again. Chiana observes that it "hits close to home." D'Argo says, "The fact that I may never see my son again is a grief I would wish upon no one. It pains me to think of what he's going through right now." Chiana admits that she feels the same way. After a moment she strokes his face and adds, "And you thought we weren't compatible."
In the maintenance bay, Aeryn has propped her legs up and is lifting herself up and down with her arms. I could have just said, "She's exercising," but I'm too impressed to gloss over it. Crichton walks in and heads for the Farscape. He conversationally notes that the "surgical reconstructers" patched her leg up nicely. Aeryn says nothing. After a moment, Crichton says, "Y'know, I was worried about you when you didn't show up for the wedding." He looks over at Aeryn, who keeps bobbing up and down silently. He turns back to the ship and more quietly adds, "I'm just glad you're okay." Aeryn glances at him quickly, and keeps bobbing. He concludes, "And I have noticed that you're not talking to me." Aeryn lowers her legs to the floor and reaches out to grab something. Crichton looks up to see that she's holding one of the vials. She slowly walks over, holding the vial gingerly like it's nitroglycerin, which it kind of is. Her eyes are furious and scared, and looking at her just, ow. High-pitched strings on the soundtrack, in case we're not tense enough yet. Crichton takes the vial and places a drop on his tongue. He holds it out for her, and she gingerly allows him to put a drop in her mouth. I think she's actually trembling like a bunny. Breaks my heart. They lean in to each other, and poke their tongues out to touch. And then they kiss deeply, the music swells, everything's going to work out for these crazy kids...but then Aeryn abruptly pulls her head back. She slowly meets his eyes and now she just looks dead inside. Oof. We go to a reverse shot, with her back to us, as Crichton looks at her, stonefaced. Aeryn turns to face the camera, and then Claudia Black performs the best special effect on this show: she blinks, and her eyes start to light up as her entire expression changes. She glances up, her eyes widen and go from empty to joyful, and a small smile starts to spread over her face as she walks away past the camera. We push in on Crichton, who makes a face like he's still savoring the taste in his mouth, and as he starts to grin and we fade out. And then I exhale.