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The Prisoner of War Skitter has woken up in a new cage, and is feeling a bit surly. There is a plan is to try to figure out how to communicate with it, and indeed the Skitter communicates plenty as it freaks the heck out upon seeing Tom. They really should have killed that thing. Tom is ready to go get Ben, but Weaver has gotten a tip from Pope about a motorcycle shop near Somerville, and wants Tom to raid it. He then wants Tom to find some heavy drugs (necessary for harness removal), since they're almost out, and then he can get Ben. Pope makes a bid for joining the team, since he knows the mean streets of Somerville, and Tom agrees as long as Pope shuts up and isn't armed.
Meanwhile, Rick previously had cystic fibrosis and could barely breathe, but now his lungs are totally clear. Anne and Mike wonder if the Skitter harness could have cured him. Maggie returns from a recon mission and reports that the group of harnessed kids do indeed spend their nights in a hospital off of route 2. There have been no signs of Karen. Weaver has had his fighters keeping an eye on Maggie, which doesn't go unnoticed by her. He remains highly suspicious, because a) she shot the dudes she was with before; b) she took an awfully long time to do it.
Tom and Pope have a disagreement about postapocalyptic child rearing when Matt asks to come on their mission, and then en route to the motorcycle shop Pope is racist all over the place. Anthony, who is a former Boston PD officer, does not care for being the target of multiple gang banger remarks. Back at Camp Second Mass, Lourdes says prayers for the missing while touching their photos, explaining to Jimmy that it's just something she likes to do. Let me repeat. Prayers for the missing: just something I like to do! Jimmy quizzes Lourdes about her Boston cred, since she's originally from Mexico City and lived there until she was ten. We also learn that she was a freshman premed student at Wellesley before the attacks, and probably was just as annoying as she is now.
Dr. Anne shows the Skitter some pictures of outer space as a communication tool, and it just sort of breathes heavily in response. Dr. Wings continues to be a dick as Anne wonders what's in the mind of the Skitter. Uncle Scott fashions a radio out of spare parts, and assigns Matt to be the radio monitor / communications officer. It's about time that kid got a job. Meanwhile, back on the motorcycle journey, Pope and his keen sense of smell discover a pack of Skitters hanging upside down from under a bridge, sleeping like bats. It's kind of cute, actually. Pope wants to kill them, but Tom points out that open firing on them will bring about the wrath of the Mechs. He moves the team along, but you can tell that the wheels are turning in Pope's greasy little mind.
Back at the school, Dr. Anne offers the Skitter some water, which she places in the cage through the largest opening ever. As Chekhov always said, if you show a giant Skitter cage opening in the first act, someone is going to get his head eaten in the third. The Skitter remains relatively calm until Dr. Wings brings in the body of a dead Skitter specifically as an agent of agitation. It predictably freaks the fuck out. So much for interspecies relations. As the Skitter goes nuts, there is static on Uncle Scott's radio.
Tom & Co. make it to the motorcycle store, where Tom gives Pope some shit about his criminal past and Hal misses Karen a bunch. Tom gives Hal some lame parental advice, but does convince him to take a pink keychain for her in the event that they ever get her back. Meanwhile, back in the lab, Dr. Wings wants to cut into the Skitter and make it scream, while Dr. Anne wants to treat it humanely and try to communicate with it, as they were instructed to do. Dr. Wings continues to be a dick, and the Skitter looks as if it has some plans for him. Ricky wakes up, and doesn't recognize Mike. He seems to scoff at the idea that Mike is his father, while looking to the Skitter for guidance. Mike is not so happy about this situation, and goes to the Skitter to attempt to communicate with it and get it to explain itself. Oh, dude, just sit down.
When talking doesn't work, Mike brings a gun into the situation. He opens the giant cage door, because all of these people are idiots. Mike gets all ragey and sticks a gun into the Skitter's mouth, and there is plentiful static on the radio. He doesn't shoot, but the Skitter keels over and the static stops. It turns out that the Skitter is fine, but there's a nerve bundle across its soft palate that could be a pressure point connected to the brain. Basically, the Skitter has a concussion. Dr. Wings suggests that, if you get close enough to stick a gun in a Skitter's mouth, you should pull the trigger. It's seriously the wisest thing he's said yet. Anne and Scott put together the Skitter/radio static connection, and Dr. Wings mocks her theory that the Skitters have radios in their heads, even though it's all clearly related.
Meanwhile, Pope clubs Dai and escapes on a motorcycle. In fairness, we all knew that this was not going to go well. Anthony is totally not sad that he's gone. Pope heads back to the bridge where the Skitters are napping and torches them. That can't be good. Back at Camp Second Mass, the captured Skitter wakes up and so does Rick. They make eye contact for a moment, and THEN Rick totally grabs his harness and reattaches it! NO WAY! And then of course he goes to let the Skitter out of the cage and no one is there to stop him because everyone seemed to think it was a good idea to leave the two of them alone in there, like what the fuck. There's static on the radio, and everyone rushes in before Rick has gotten the cage door open. The Skitter talks through Rick, and asks to be let go, adding that Rick is one of theirs. Emancipation is not going to happen, so the Skitter asks for them to help it by killing it. Or maybe it means Rick? Maybe both. Mike runs over and rips the harness off of Rick, who collapses on the floor. Mike is obviously feeling conflicted about the fact that his son is angling to become a mind-controlled alien slave again.
Back at the motorcycle shop, an army of harnessed kids are heading toward Tom & Co. And they have weapons! They shoot, and Dai gets it in the leg. Anthony just wants to shoot the kids but Tom won't allow it. He throws a flaming bottle filled with gasoline out of the window and in the direction of the truck, and the kids start shooting at it instead. Hal and Anthony use this diversion to fly through the glass door of the bike shop on motorcycles like they're Miss Piggy. Tom stays behind to help Dai, and encounters a Skitter in the shop. He blasts it in the head, and then escapes without saving the harnessed kids. Again! In good news, Weaver is now all about getting the kids back, and Tom feels that they're closer to understanding the Skitters.
Meanwhile, Tom and Hal talk about Ben's love for Harry Potter. Hal says that Ben might be a little different now that he's a mind-controlled alien zombie slave. Tom, the eternal optimist, says that it's all going to be fine. And then everyone finds that Pope has left a parting gift -- fresh baked bread. Oh Lord, and then fucking Lourdes is saying grace all over the place and everyone becomes inspired to talk about what they're thankful for. Perhaps I'm overly cynical, but it makes me want to cockpunch everyone at the table. Dr. Anne is the worst, because she turns to Lourdes and goes, "You should say something again." AGAIN! Thankfully, we cut off before everyone starts singing "Amazing Grace."
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Falling Skies: There were harnessed kids galore! Tom was instructed to go get Ben, but through a series of shenanigans he and his crew wound up with Mike's son, Ricky, instead. Through a related series of shenanigans, the Skitters took Karen and also made Hal watch as they blasted a half-dozen harnessed kids. It was revealed that Dr. Wings left Tom's wife for dead, and Tom got pretty peeved about it. Tom also managed to bring back a live Skitter P.O.W., which appeared to have a connection with the de-harnessed Rick. All this and we learned that Pope has a degree in culinary arts!
We enter with the P.O.W. Skitter being escorted through the 2nd Mass HQ in a brand new cage, and apparently not feeling so positive about his new digs. He waves his tusks around and Crazy Weaver is on hand to tell him that he never was much to look at. Dr. Wings pipes in to say that in fact this Skitter is an exemplary specimen -- the Brad Pitt of the Skitter world. Back on their home planet, I'm sure the Jennifer Aniston of the Skitter world is cackling with satisfaction at his current plight. We learn that Porter has ordered Dr. Wings et al to try to communicate with the captive Skitter -- if they can figure out how it thinks, they can figure out how to beat it. My preferred method would be to show the Skitter a 24-hour loop of The Real Housewives franchise until it comes to the conclusion that it doesn't want anything to do with our sordid planet. Putting it in a room with NeNe Leakes would have the same effect.
Weaver is skeptical about the plan to communicate with the Skitter, but Dr. Wings says that it's possible -- it all depends on what's under the "hood." Dr. Anne Glass sneaks up behind the men, as is her wont, and says that she wouldn't underestimate the Skitters. She points out that the Skitter is studying them as much as they are studying him. I think for the purposes of recapping, it makes sense to give the Skitter a name. Let's go with "Hermie." Dr. Wings says that Skitter vocalizations could extend beyond the range of human hearing, and that for all they know Hermie could be cussing them out right now. I mean, I think that's a given. I also think that teaching Hermie cuss words is the best way to engage him. Isn't that the first thing you do when learning a foreign language?
And then! Tom walks in and assures everyone that Hermie the Skitter is indeed cussing them out. When Hermie sees Tom, he goes crazy. Tom bashes the side of the cage some, just for effect, and then someone gets Hermie with a taser. He calms down a little, and then kind of flares his lip folds at Tom. Tom says, "I remember you too." And that, my friends, is the beginning of what will improbably become a great love story! They'll meet again at the ruins of the Empire State Building. If both of them survive this intergalactic war, their babies are going to be so cute and drippy.
Mike and Tom hang out in the operating room with a sleeping Ricky, who has little nubs sticking out of his back. Dr. Wings enters to say that Hermie the Skitter seems to have settled for now, but recommends that Tom keep his distance. Recalling how Dr. Wings got clocked last week, I'd recommend that he keep his distance from Tom as well. Dr. Wings prepares Ricky's morning morphine as Weaver passes through and tells Tom to met him at the command post. Once there, Tom finds Pope spouting off in his greasy-headed yet oddly charismatic fashion, and Weaver says that Pope has told him there's a motorcycle shop near Somerville. It's well off the main highway, so there's a chance it hasn't been picked clean yet. Weaver wants Tom and his team to go check it out.
Tom is not happy about this assignment, and says that he and his team are ready to go get Ben. AGAIN. Seventh time's the charm! Tom starts to point out that Weaver gave him permission to get Ben, and Weaver counters that he gave Tom permission to get one kid, who turned out to be Rick. I mean, fair point. He also let Tom go BACK to get Ben and Hal and Karen, and of course that mission was only one-third successful. Tom says that this doesn't change what he needs to do, and Weaver says that Rick is still a work in progress and that Dr. Wings has gone through almost all their heavy drugs for his detox. Tom is all, "So we'll get more!" like all they have to do is sap one of the morphine trees in the grove. Weaver points out that getting the drugs will be a hell of a lot easier if they have more bikes. He spells it out in parts so Tom can get it. One objective leads to the : first the bikes, then the drugs, then Ben. Tom can't argue with logic accompanied by "one, two, three" fingers, and so accepts Weaver's commands.
Pope jumps up to ask when they're going. Dai, who has no interest in hearing the equivalent of Mickey Rooney's part in Breakfast at Tiffany's reenacted for hours, says that Pope isn't going anywhere. And then Weaver sighs. That can't be good. He says that Pope knows where the motorcycle shop is located. Tom is all, "Draw me a map, cracker." Pope says that he scored his last ride from this place, and knows the layout and streets. He also can't draw for crap. Convenient! Weaver squints really hard at Tom, as is his way, noting that they're down one rider since they lost Karen. You guys, I think Weaver and Pope are totally doing it. Tom does too, and shakes his head. He finally agrees, saying that he talks and Pope listens. Furthermore, he stipulates that Pope go unarmed. That is the first good call of this plan. Pope asks, "What am I, Canadian?" and then cracks himself up. Weaver wishes Tom luck, which he will certainly need.
Meanwhile, the harness sits on a table about five feet from Ricky in the operating room. Take note, people, because as Chekhov always said, the alien harness that's casually laying around in the first act is going to be used for some fucked-up shenanigans in the third. Dr. Anne is listening to Ricky's lungs through a stethoscope, and says that they are completely clear. She asks Mike if he's sure that Ricky had cystic fibrosis. Mike is five specialists and three states sure, and says that before the invasion Ricky could barely breathe. Given that full remission is extremely rare, Mike and Anne wonder if the harness could have cured him. The aliens are even MORE fucked up when they act nice, right? I love it. Tom appears in the doorway and he and Mike exchange some fraught glances, while Anne tells Mike that Ricky will probably wake up later in the day.
Anne and Tom take a walk together, and she tells him that they're weaning Rick off the opiates and should know in 24 hours if they really have him back. Tom wants the straight story on this harness removal business. Anne tells him that the surgery isn't very dangerous. As long as they have enough drugs, it's basically like cutting steel. Tom says that he isn't exactly mad at Mike for saving his own son instead of Ben, and Anne wonders if Tom's attitude earlier was for the benefit of Dr. Wings, who couldn't get away from him fast enough. Tom shares that Dr. Wings saw his wife die, and that he can't look at the bastard's smug face without seeing that. Anne says, "At least she was with a friend," and Tom makes a hasty exit. Way to read a room, Dr. Glass!
With that, Weaver encounters Maggie and two fighters who have just returned from a mission. He points out that they should have been back two hours ago, and she says that recon takes longer when you're on foot. Doesn't everything? Walking is for suckers. Skinny, healthy suckers. Maggie reports that they saw some harnessed kids being led into the hospital off of Route 2. It's the same hospital that Maggie saw before, and it appears that the Skitters are using it as home base. One of the fighters thought he saw Ben, but there was no sign of Karen. Weaver dismisses Maggie, but before he can get away she says she'd appreciate if he told his fighters that she's not the enemy. They were apparently keeping tabs on her, which did not go unnoticed. Weaver admits that this is true, and reminds Maggie that she was found with Pope. She replies that she was in his vicinity, but wasn't with him, and then points out that if it weren't for her Weaver wouldn't have a second in command. Weaver points out that the Riverbottom Nightmare Gang trusted her with a gun, and asks if the whole time she was with them she never thought about using it. She says that every second of every day she thought about using it -- first on herself, then on them. Weaver asks, "What about now?" and Maggie says she's just taking it one day at a time. OH MY GOD, SHOOT LOURDES!!!! Weaver squints at her. Acting!
As Tom & Co., including Pope, prepare to leave for their motorcycle-getting mission, little Matt runs out and says that he ditched class because he wants to go with them and help. Tom says that he is helping by going to class and keeping an eye on things for them. Which is to say that if he comes, they're all afraid that they'll get distracted by his beautiful Ripstick riding and totally forget to confiscate some bikes. Matt points out that he can fight, and that some of the other kids are even learning how to load and shoot guns. I mean, given their track record of unsuccessful missions, having a 10-year old along probably wouldn't hurt things very much. Still, Tom gives Ben a firm no, and Uncle Scott escorts him back to class. Pope pipes up to say that Tom isn't doing his boy any favors, because if Skitters come knocking, the kid should at least have the chance to defend himself. Tom says that if he wants any parenting advice from an ex-con he'll ask for it. So judgey! He then saddles Pope with the gasoline cans. Hal says that Pope has a point, and Tom replies that he wants Matt to have a childhood. Yeah, I'm sure that as long as Tom doesn't teach him how to use a gun, Matt will grow up to write a Little House on the Prairie-esque memoir about his halcyon youth. Tom says that when Matt has kids, he'll understand. Hal is all, "Me, kids? Dream on." Tom, never missing an opportunity to be a dork and recite really wretched dialogue, says, "I will."
After a break, we see Tom & Co. walking through some sort of a field. They're about half a mile away from the motorcycle shop. Pope has a big smile on his face, and Anthony asks what he's grinning about. Pope says he's enjoying the air, and didn't mean to piss off the company gangbanger. Despite his lack of affiliation with either the Bloods or Crips, Anthony totally wants to shoot Pope. He says he was part of the biggest gang in the world -- the Boston PD. Pope, never one to be impressed by a black guy, says he thought he smelled ham. See, when Pope's not being abhorrently racist, he actually makes the same jokes I do. Anthony says that once they don't need Pope anymore, he and his gun and Pope are going to have a conversation about his friend Click.
Tom hangs back with Hal, thinking that they can use this time for a father-son chat and advice session. Hal says that he's just got some things to think about, but thanks anyway. He walks ahead and Dai catches up to Tom, noting that the Karen thing must be rough. Tom says that it will be rough for a while and it's easy to forget that, despite being a top-notch soldier, Hal is only 16. Okay, that actor is like 34, right? Hal was his mother's son and though Tom could never get through to Hal, Rebecca always knew the right thing to say. And then she died. The end. Dai says that maybe he was lucky that he had no one when the attack happened. He sees how much Tom worries about Hal and Matt and thinks it would be very difficult. Tom points out that he worried about the kids just as much before the attack, and that Hal with a set of car keys is just as frightening as a Mech. Oh, the post-apocalyptic humor! It's how we know their spirits haven't been crushed. Dai says, "Same worries, higher stakes." I seriously think this episode was written by experimental monkeys.
Back at Camp 2nd Mass, the board of missing children is lighted from below by like 1,000 candles. Oh, so I guess before Weaver commanded Tom & Co. to go get motorcycles and drugs he had them raid a Crate & Barrel. There are even some of those reed diffuser thingies! And an American flag, of course. Oh, and there is fucking Lourdes, running her scabby prayer fingers all over the pictures and looking solemn. Jimmy comes up and asks, "What are you doing?" The "you freak" is implied. Lourdes says, and I quote, "Saying a prayer for the missing. It's just something I like to do." Her OK Cupid profile lists her interests as, "Tennis, knitting, saying prayers for the missing." It's just something she likes to do! Jimmy asks if Lourdes thinks it helps them and she says, "It helps me." Oh, shut up. Seriously, she is the worst. The WORST!
Jimmy points out that Lourdes doesn't even know any of these people, and that she's not from Boston. He overheard her telling Hal (while trying to get in his pants, piously) that she grew up in Mexico City. It turns out that Lourdes's parents moved to Boston when she was 10, and her dad flew back and forth for business. She was freshman pre-med at Wellesley when the attacks happened, which is I guess why she's Dr. Anne's minion. Jimmy points out that Wellesley is in Wellesley, and not Boston, and she calls him a 617 snob. I'm sure she's praying for his judgmental ways throughout this entire conversation. She says that her parents have a house in J.P. -- Jamaica Plain for the uninitiated -- and Jimmy asks what part of J.P. Okay he really is kind of annoying too. But not as annoying as Lourdes who says, "The part where people lost their faith." Is this bitch for real? Try, "The part where people's heads got ripped from their torsos by alien eye-lasers." All we can hope is that Lourdes is privy to a particularly gruesome and painful death at some point in the very near future.
Meanwhile, Anne is showing the captive and relatively calm Hermie the Skitter pictures of the Earth, and then saying the word "Earth," and then explaining that it's the very planet they are on right now. Dr. Wings is there mocking her, which is annoying except for that he coins the term "Skitterese," which I think is pretty funny. She shows a picture of the galaxy, and Dr. Wings says that if this doesn't work she can try exchanging recipes. I think I made up the fact that Skitters eat brains, but nonetheless I am certain that brains would make up a huge part of whatever recipe Hermie contributed. Dr. Wings says that Hermie the Skitter has no curiosity, no fear, and no remorse, which is why it's so easy for them to kill humans. Oh my god, like what the heck does he even know? He should not have been entrusted with this job. Anne says that she thinks Hermie is scared out of his mind. She wonders if they look as hideous and strange to Hermie as he looks to them. I'm sure Pope does, at least. Dr. Wings says that he has an idea and leaves the room. Well, that can't be good.
Elsewhere in the school, Uncle Scott has fashioned a radio out of an old fallout shelter survival kit that he found in the basement. It's so old that it doesn't even need a battery -- it has a hand crank. Weaver wants Scott to monitor the radio frequencies, but also doesn't want to take away from his very important job of bomb making. At last, his teenage years as part of the SDS have finally paid off. Uncle Scott was thinking the same thing, which is why he brought along a very capable volunteer -- Matt. He's charged with cranking the handle and listening. For once he doesn't even whine about it. I think it's because they can only have one truly horrible person per episode, and Lourdes has that locked. Weaver agrees, and Uncle Scott decrees Matt the communications officer.
Out on the motorcycle shop trail, Pope starts to veer from the others. Turns out he smelled him some Skitters. We pan to a bridge, underneath which Skitters are hanging like bats and sleeping. It kind of makes me want to tickle them under their chins. They look so innocent and peaceful when they sleep! Still slimy, though. Dai approaches with a gun, but Pope holds him off with a demented smile saying, "Shhh. You'll wake 'em." Tom is totally thinking that all those years of grad school really didn't prepare him for these circumstances.
After a commercial break, Hal ruminates on how fucked up Skitters are while Pope is thankful that they're at least sleeping and not having group sex. Tom's a little surprised that the Skitters are sleeping during the day, since they're not nocturnal, and Pope guesses that they grab shuteye whenever they can. As soldiers do, I suppose. Dai runs in and reports that there are Mechs north and south, but they're in sleep mode. I bet they curl up in a cute little fetal position. Pope wants to hose the Skitters posthaste, but Tom says that as soon as they fire at the Skitters, the Mechs will fire on them. Engaging them is not the mission, so Tom has his people move on. Pope is not at all happy about this, and clearly is going to do something very stupid as soon as he gets a chance.
Back at Camp 2nd Mass, Dr. Anne is offering Hermie the Skitter some water in a dog dish. How demeaning! He isn't pissed off yet, though. Anne then opens the cage window so she can place the bowl inside. And now, let's take a moment to talk about this cage window. It's HUGE! A skinny human could totally climb through it. Someone is going to get their brains eaten, I tell you. The Skitter makes some friendly-sounding noises at Anne as she puts the bowl inside of the window, but then Dr. Wings comes crashing in and tells her to get her damn hand out of there. Now, that's not bad advice, but the manner in which he's giving it is typically idiotic. Also, the window is just sitting wide open now. I think the whole Skitter could fit through that thing if he really tried. It concerns me, though if it means that he might escape and eat Lourdes's brains I'm really all for it.
Dr. Wings, being the asshole that he is, has brought in the body of Pope's dead Skitter to provoke the captive. Hermie the P.O.W. Skitter freaks out and bangs against the cage and squeals and stuff, and it is all very dramatic. Meanwhile, there's static on Uncle Scott's radio. Coincidence? I think not! Back in the lab Hermie is still freaking out and sticks his arms out of the cage window. Like, why would these people not close that before revealing the dead Skitter body? And they're the ones who are in charge of science and medicine? As Hermie grabs for them they finally see fit to try to close the cage window. But really, it takes a Skitter arm grabbing at them before they think to do that? They finally get the lock on, and Dr. Wings tells Anne that if she wants a friend she should get a dog. He leaves and Hermie gives Anne the worst look, like maybe before he would have spared her from the torso ripping, but now she's going to get it just like everyone else. With Hermie calm, the static on the radio has also stopped.
Oh, and then there's fucking Lourdes saying grace and crossing herself. Weaver sees her, and tells her she's lucky that she still believes in something. Not lucky are all of us who have to watch her. Maggie approaches Weaver and asks if she heard right that Pope is accompanying Tom & Co. on their motorcycle raid. Weaver asks if she has a problem with that, and Maggie says, "I don't. But they will." I know this will shock you, but Weaver squints in reply. Also, at this point I think we can safely say that Maggie is the smartest person in that whole place.
Back on the road, Tom & Co. have found the motorcycle shop. Tom instructs everyone to check the gas tanks of the bikes, but only the off-roads since they don't need recliners on wheels. Pope tells him that he has no sense of style, which, having seen his denim shirt/jeans combo, we know to be correct. Pope brags about how he stole a bike from this shop, and Tom notes that Pope is proud of his criminal past. Pope is a little wistful as he says, "I was good at it." All of the tanks are empty, but Dai has found some bikes in pieces in the back along with some tanks of gas. Tom sends Pope off with Dai to get the gas, and Pope starts off their time together by asking Dai what people call him for short. Dai is so irritated, but not nearly as irritated as he will be when Pope knocks him unconscious in a minute. Um, spoiler alert.
Meanwhile, Hal is looking at a keychain that Karen would have loved. It's pink and sparkly, and even though Karen's not a girly girl Hal is certain that she'd have taken it. Tom wants him to take it for her, and says that they're not giving up on her. Hal knows, but can't help think about what's happened. Me too. And you know, I totally hope that when we see Karen she's impregnated with some mutant human-Skitter baby. Right? Tom tells Hal that Karen wouldn't want him to blame himself, which, way to go with the transference, Professor. Hal says that Karen is a high school senior and not a soldier, and should never have been put in that situation. Tom has to acknowledge that everyone wishes the mission hadn't been quite so explosive a failure, and says that Karen knew it was dangerous but wanted to come. She knew how much it meant to them to get Ben back. Tom imparts some advice that Rebecca would have given Hal -- hold on to the memory and let the rest of it go. Wait, so they aren't even going to try to save her when they save Ben? That is royally fucked. They should put Maggie on this case. Hal thinks that his mom would have said to suck it up, and also that Tom is really lame at giving parental advice.
Back at the lab, Dr. Wings is sharpening his tools. Uh oh. Anne tells him that he can't cut into Hermie the Skitter, because he's a living creature. Dr. Wings doesn't think it counts, since Hermie is not a human being. At most, he says, it's vivisection. Anne points out that they're supposed to communicate with Hermie, and not just make him scream. Skitters killed her family, and she says that she wants nothing more than to grab an axe and decapitate that fucker. That's no way to talk about Hermie! And yet Porter's orders were clear -- they need to attempt communication. Anne thinks that's the right thing to do. Dr. Wings tells Anne that her speech was noble, but it's his call and he's not going to be second guessed by a pediatrician. Hermie is watching all of this very intently, and I'm sure can understand everything that humans say. Despite stealing kids to make them mind-controlled zombies, the Skitters are kind of better than us at everything. I mean, they can sleep upside down!
After a break, Hermie skulks around in his cage as Ricky finally wakes up. He looks Mike dead in the face and goes, "Who are you?" I mean, in all fairness he's been pumped with morphine for days. Mike says he's Ricky's dad, and Ricky again asks who he is. Mike says, "I'm your father," and Ricky turns his head the other way to look at Hermie for a while. He turns back to Mike and gives a kind of sardonic, "...father," while still looking kind of dead-eyed. Oh shit.
Mike, as you may imagine, does not take kindly to his son looking at a caged Skitter when the word "father" is mentioned. He heads over to Hermie for a tête-à-tête. Hermie kind of hisses as Mike says that Ricky is his son and is everything to him. Although Ricky doesn't recognize Mike, he's here and healthy, and that's probably because of the harness. Emotional quandary! Mike says, "That's why you get this chance. To live...or not." Hermie seems to understand enough English to know what, "or not," means, and gives Mike a dirty look.
Meanwhile, Anne goes to see Uncle Scott and Matt. Uncle Scott asks if something's wrong, since Anne usually only seeks him out if she needs advice on a personal problem. That old man just called her out as getting free therapy from him! Anne says she's been busy, and Scott replies that she's been hiding. She keeps pretending that everything's all right, but she's been through some shit, just like everyone else. Well it looks like someone actually just volunteers his psychological help services, even when others don't ask. I think the real point of this scene, though, is to intimate that Anne's husband and kids were killed, so she's totally free to start making whoopee with Tom posthaste. And yes, I just said "making whoopee" like I was a contestant on the Match Game.
Back at the Skitter dome, Mike wants Hermie the captive Skitter to talk to him and explain himself. He's asking this in a calm way, but his eyes show that inside he's got a fair quantity of rage. Mike picks up some pictures and asks Hermie to point at any of them and make a sound. Hermie just hisses in the same way that he always does. He doesn't point, which is just as well because his fingers gross me out something fierce. Sorry, Herm. Mike asks how Hermie found our planet, and what made them decide to attack. Hermie just looks at him, squinting kind of like Weaver. Mike then decides to get his gun and -- wait for it -- opens the giant cage window! What is WRONG with these people?!? Just stick it through the wide bars above! Everyone here deserves to get their face eaten.
As Mike tells Hermie that he might need some motivation (i.e. a gun in the snout), there is static on Uncle Scott's radio. Anne wonders what's causing it, and Scott has no idea. We do, though! Mike points his gun at Hermie and yells at him to point at a picture and make a sound. Maybe if we tried that in schools we wouldn't score so poorly on international comparison tests. Hermie looks at Ricky, to which Mike does not react well. Hermie just kind of screeches per usual, and Mike sticks the gun in his mouth and yells at him to speak. There's a bunch of static on the radio, Mike shoves the gun in Hermie's mouth with more force, and then poor Hermie just passes out. The static stops, Hermie lays there, and Mike gets a look like, "Oh shit."
Mike had to tell Anne and Dr. Wings what he did, and Anne has a very displeased motherly reaction. Dr. Wings says that Hermie is okay, and adds that he found a nerve bundle just above the soft palate. It could be a pressure point. There's no bone to separate the brain from the soft palate, so Mike probably knocked Hermie out and gave him a concussion. Mike notes that this means the Skitter is vulnerable. Dr. Wings guesses so, but then says the most sensible thing ever uttered on this show, which is that if you're close enough to stick a gun in a Skitter's mouth, you should probably pull the trigger.
Meanwhile, Anne has made the connection between the static on the radio and the Skitter's distress. They're going to slice open Pope's dead Skitter and see what they can find. Uncle Scott asks if she's saying that Skitters have radios in their heads, and Dr. Wings says that's exactly what she's saying, and uses this opening to mock her some more. He asks if he should be looking for tubes and transistors and a subwoofer in the Skitter head. If he were wittier, he'd sing the theme song to WKRP in Cincinnati. And boy, this show sure could use a little Loni Anderson! And Burt Reynolds, for that matter, in his full mustachioed glory.
Back at the motorcycle shop, Pope has been trying to siphon gas out of a tank and announces that it's dryer than a nun in West Texas. I would really prefer it if I didn't have to associate Pope with vaginal secretions. Dai is ready to go, and makes the grave mistake of turning his back to Pope. Pope clubs him with something, and the thing you know Tom & Co. see him outside of the window, taking off on a bike. Tom goes to get Dai, who is okay. Anthony is just glad to be rid of Pope, as you might imagine. But Pope isn't just escaping. He heads straight back to the bridge where the Skitters are sleeping, throws a gasoline can at them, and torches them with a very Eastwood-esque, "Rise and shine." Tom & Co. see a giant cloud of smoke from the motorcycle shop, and know that they are basically screwed.
Back at Camp 2nd Mass, everyone is so busy talking about Skitter soft palates and radio heads that they've left Ricky and Hermie alone. I mean, right? Hermie makes a noise, and Ricky looks right at him. Then, in a terrible and awesome thing that's almost great enough to counter all the fucking Lourdes praying that we've had to endure this episode, Ricky walks over to the harness -- also just laying around! -- and picks it up. And then he puts it back the fuck on! I know! It just reattaches to those little nubs, and Ricky looks like he's gotten the hit of the best junk you can imagine. He and Hermie look at each other, and then Ricky heads over to the cage. He is totally going to set his new dad free!
Everyone else is still dicking around in the vivisection lab, where they have learned exactly nothing. The corpse was too old, so its head was mush. Just like the heads of the four people in this room! There's static on the radio, and Dr. Wings takes this moment to be a prick about how this proves that there's no correlation between the Skitter and the static since Hermie is alone in the lab. Cue look of understanding on Mike's face as he realizes that Ricky's in there, too!
Everyone rushes in to the lab, where Ricky is trying to take the lock off of the Skitter cage. He hasn't quite gotten it yet, though. Dr. Wings asks Ricky what he wants. Ricky says, "You want to hurt me." Because, you see, Hermie is totally communicating through him. I know! Dr. Wings asks what he wants, and Ricky says, "Let me go." We all know that's not going to happen. Through Ricky, Hermie says, "This child is one of ours." Dr. Wings says that he's not anymore, since they cut off his harness. Take a look at his back, dickwad. Ricky says, "Then I'll be punished," and Mike, still not able to accept that it's the Skitter talking, says that they're going to help him. Dr. Wings tells him to shut up, because this isn't his son. A salient point, I must admit. Dr. Wings asks how they can help him, and Ricky/Hermie says, "Kill me." And then Mike, who clearly is not a good person to have around in pressure-filled situations, freaks out and runs over to Ricky, ripping off his harness. Hermie freaks out and Ricky drops to the floor. Mike holds his unconscious body as he notes that Ricky put the harness on, and wanted to wear it. He wonders how Ricky could do that to himself. Hermie kind of screeches while Anne and Dr. Wings look mildly horrified.
Back at the motorcycle shop, Hal runs back from doing some recon and reports that Pope blew up the Skitter nest, and that a gang of harnessed kids are heading their way. We see the kids emerge through the bushes, zombie-like per usual, but this time carrying guns. Anthony speaks for everyone when he says, "Aw, man." Tom instructs his men to hold their fire. We get a closer look at the harnessed kids and they are SO FILTHY! Their clothes are stiff from dirt and falling apart. Could the Skitters not just make washing machines work for a couple of hours and throw in a load of laundry? If the entire city and state infrastructure were not completely dismantled, I'd recommend that someone call Child Protective Services.
Tom theorizes that there must be a Skitter nearby guiding the harnessed kids and giving them orders. That Skitter then apparently gives the kids the order to open fire, because that's exactly what they do. Dai gets shot in the leg. He's really having a terrible day. Hal wonders what they're going to do. Anthony is all, "I know it's horrible, but...." And really, I'm with him. But Tom is not a proponent of shooting children, even when they are zombie mind-controlled freaks who are shooting at him. I mean, where do you draw the line? Anthony gives his idea another try and Tom yells at him. He says that they need to find the Skitter that's controlling the kids. If they can stop it, maybe they can stop the kids.
Tom notices that the kids all move in sync, as a unit, and that they seem to only shoot when there's a target. He puts some gasoline in a water bottle, sticks a rag in it, lights it on fire, and throws it outside right under their truck. Sure enough, the kids shoot at the resulting flames. Hal and Anthony take this opportunity to fly through the glass garage door on motorcycles like Miss Piggy at the Mallory Gallery. The kids turn to shoot at them, but are too slow to actually do any damage. Meanwhile, Tom helps Dai on the back of his motorcycle, and as they are preparing to take off we see a Skitter climb up the wall behind them. It scrambles toward them on all of its gross legs, and Tom shoots it in the head like it ain't no thang. Sure enough, the kids halt their action. As they're about to take off, Tom and Dai look back. Dai asks what about all the kids and Tom says, "time." Would Weaver please send somebody else on a kid-rescuing mission? Because it is clearly just not Tom's forte.
Tom & Co. return to the school. Weaver wonders why, if Skitters have Mechs and superior weaponry, they need to harm children. And -- historical parallel alert! -- Tom says that they're making a human shield, which is something we've been doing for thousands of years. It's psychological warfare. Weaver notes that it works, since Tom couldn't shoot the kids. He says that no one would be able to. Well, except for Anthony, the most sensible person in this whole operation besides Maggie. You could never get those kids clean now, anyway. Why even bother trying to get them back? Tom says that there's a silver lining, and Weaver has my favorite line delivery of the episode as he says, "I'm not seeing it." I'm sure he's squinting, but we're looking at them at a bit of a distance so I can't say for sure. Tom silver lines that we see that Skitters are fucked up in the same ways that we are, which means we might understand them, which means we might be able to game them back. If humans can figure that out, there's a chance of beating the Skitters. Weaver squints and says they're a long way from figuring that out, then tells Tom that his optimism is starting to get a little annoying. Tom laughs, and we totally get a glimpse of that cute Dr. Carter face underneath all the scruff. He tells Weaver that tomorrow, he's going to start looking for drugs for the de-harnessing, and then go back for Ben and as many other kids as he can grab. Weaver is all for it, and says if his kids were still out there, there's nothing on this earth that would keep him from going after them. He squints...with sadness.
Meanwhile, Hal is gazing upon the pink motorcycle keychain that he got for Karen, but quickly puts it away when Tom enters the room. He's holding a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which Tom has kept. Tom notes that they were halfway through it when the attack happened, and he figured that he'd hang onto it so they could finish it when they got Ben back. Ben was a huge fan, and even wanted Harry glasses. He was getting a bit old for his dad to be reading him stories, but they made an exception for Harry. Tom says that he thinks Ben will be all right when they get him back, and Hal takes this opening to say gently that he has a feeling that Ben might be a little "different" now. Tom thinks that once they get the harness off he'll be just fine. I guess he hasn't been updated about the Ricky situation. Hal points out that when Ben dragged off Karen for god knows what kind of alien deviance, he was staring at Hal. And it wasn't the Ben they knew. Well I hope that, as a matter of course, Ben wouldn't just normally drag off Hal's girlfriend. Tom says that he knows his son, and that Ben is stronger than Hal thinks. He reiterates that Ben is going to be fine, and now even Hal thinks that Tom's optimism is starting to get annoying.
We cut to Dr. Anne, who has clearly been debriefing Tom. She tells him that the Skitter radio signals aren't very strong, which is good news. Otherwise, Hermie could contact his friends and there would be a pile of bones and rubble where Camp 2nd Mass now sits. Anne tells him that Matt got a job, and that he misses Tom when he's not there -- they all do. Oh DO they, now? The dinner bell rings, and Dai tries to get up from his post-op cot. His leg is wrapped up, and Dr. Anne tells him not to dare put weight on it. She's going to get him a crutch.
Tom heads to the mess hall and Maggie intercedes him on his way. She's heard that he's looking for pharmacies, and tells him that everything in a 20-mile radius has been picked clean. He says that he'll go 30 miles and just as she starts to tell him about another option, little Matt interrupts to show off a piece of bread. Tom notes that he hasn't tasted fresh-baked bread in months, and Maggie tells him that it's a farewell gift from Pope. He's a liar and a deserter, but the son of a bitch can cook. All of the important things that Maggie has to say are forgotten as Tom heads off to enjoy some family time and carbs.
And THEN. Oh my God, you guys. Fucking Lourdes is praying over her food. She thanks God for this meal and the safe place they live in, saying they know that not everyone is as lucky as they are tonight. I mean, I guess relatively they're lucky, but, like, come on. Weaver is a skeptic, just like me, but Lourdes self-righteously tells him that she thinks they can still appreciate what they have in their lives. If she weren't so aggressive in her piety it's possible that I would hate her less. And then everyone starts talking about what they're thankful for. Like, isn't it bad enough when some asshole makes everyone do this at Thanksgiving? Hal is thankful for motorcycles and the chance to bring back the people they love. Which they've failed at, like, 100 times! Anne is grateful that they've found each other, so that she may one day get to boff Dr. Carter like no one's business. Tom is grateful for the fresh bread, even if it came from Pope. He asks Dai if it was worth the walk to the mess hall. And then, in perhaps the weirdest bit of dialogue in the episode -- and you know there were strong contenders -- Dai says, "Dai is high as a freaking kite. He is loving this bread." Everyone laughs, like, ha ha it's so funny when some asshole refers to himself in the third person. Weaver squints at him something fierce and generally looks crazed. He hasn't gotten any bread yet, so Tom tears off a piece of his and gives it to him. Weaver shoves it in his maw with relish -- figurative relish, not the stuff made out of pickles -- and everyone smiles like they haven't seen anything so beautiful since Matt rode his fucking skateboard. Nothing can break the human spirit, not even aliens who eat your brains! How fucking poetic.
And THEN! Dr. Anne proves that she is the enemy as she turns to Lourdes and says, "You should say something again." NO! She shouldn't! She already said something and EVERYBODY HEARD HER and riffed on it! She should do the opposite of saying something again! Unless she is going to bust into a superior version of "The Greatest Love of All," or maybe Mariah Carey's "Hero," or maybe Mariah and Whitney together singing, "When You Believe," I think we've seen enough of Lourdes praying. Everyone holds hands as she busts out The Word on them and even Weaver mouths along the "father, son and holy spirit" part. Despite his crusty exterior his faith is alive, oh my god how beautiful. This would be the greatest time for a gang of Skitters to drop down on them from the ceiling and just tear them to pieces, but sadly this does not occur. There is not even rotten fruit for anybody to throw.
week: The show continues to try to turn us into patriotic Jesus freaks. And Hal goes undercover to rescue Ben!
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