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While on their mission to save Ben, Professor Tom and his crew spy about a dozen harnessed kids collecting scrap metal under alien supervision. It turns out they're some kind of slave labor for what is frankly a pretty lame reason to blow up a whole planet. Copper wiring? Really, Skitters? Tom and co. are ready to grab as many kids as they can, but have to retreat when Karen accidentally sends a loose brick on their rooftop vantage point crashing to the ground, thus drawing the attention of the Mechs in charge. Meanwhile, back at the new Camp Mass HQ at JFK High School, everyone is anxious to find out if their missing kids have been seen. With no milk cartons available, Dr. Anne Glass suggests that they post photos and stats on a school message board. How much easier it would be if they still had Facebook and could just start a "Zombie Slave Labor Kids" group.
Colonel Porter is back with some news. It turns out his people have discovered other resistance groups from cities across the country, which means there's a growing insurgency. He's also learned that these other major cities all have a big alien high rise planted in them, just like Boston does. No one knows what they're for. Porter instructs his people to break into small teams and 1) do more recon on the aliens; 2) collect useful military paraphernalia, like motorcycles and camouflage. The latter is so they'll at least look more bad-ass to the aliens. Porter also has a request specifically for Tom. His chief surgeon has killed some more kids trying to remove their harnesses, but now has a new theory about how to de-harness successfully. He needs a kid upon which to test his theory, and Porter wants to use Ben. Tom argues that they should rescue all of the harnessed kids, but Porter orders him to just grab Ben, since only one guinea pig is necessary at this point.
In lighter fare, it turns out that Pope has a degree in culinary arts from prison. After some spirited back-and-forth, he agrees to serve as chef for the Second Mass, on the condition that he gets some damn olive oil. He would make kind of a great Top Chef contestant, wouldn't he?
Tom checks in with Anne, who has had some interface with the hotshot chief surgeon who is going to slice up and probably kill his kid. It turns out that this surgeon is one Dr. Michael Harris, whom you may also know as your very own Steven Weber from Wings! The doctor and the professor already know each other, and Tom is a little surprised to see that Dr. Wings is alive. As it turns out, Dr. Wings was with Tom's wife, Rebecca, on the day of the attacks. No, not like that. Or maybe, who knows. But anyway, they were foraging for food together, and at some point decided to split up since things were relatively peaceful. At that moment, of course, there was an alien air ship attack. Dr. Wings says that he tried to get to Rebecca, but the second wave of the attack started and so he hid in a collapsed house and passed out until some fighters found him the day and he became the chief medical officer for the resistance. Tom is super suspicious of this guy's story for a few reasons, one of which being that he is pretty clearly a total cocksucker.
Tom and co. go on their second mission to get Ben, but while they're at scrap metal summer camp Mike sees his son, Rick, and freaks out. He runs right into the crowd of zombie children and grabs him, which brings on some unwanted Mech attention. Tom blows up one Mech, but then is knocked unconscious by another. Dai and Mike drag him into the getaway truck, along with Ricky, but poor Hal and Karen are left behind. When Tom comes to, he is not happy about multiple aspects of this situation. He stomps off to go back and save Hal and Karen, but en route he comes face to face with a Skitter. They duke it out, and eventually Tom takes a page from Pope's book and shoots off a few legs. He then beats it in the head a bunch. The whole thing is very gross yet kind of awesome. Tom drags the Skitter back to Camp Second Mass as a prisoner of war (it's unconscious, not dead), and gets so much slime on the floor in the process, I can't even tell you. He also seems to finally have earned the respect of Weaver, who upgrades his weapon in preparation for him going back out to get Ben, Hal and Karen. Meanwhile, some of the zombie kids including Ben drag off Karen, while a Skitter-Mech dream team lines up about six other kids in front of Hal, and then shoots them. That's so fucked up! They leave Hal alive to share this story of horrors with his friends.
Back at Camp Second Mass, Dr. Wings prepares to operate on Rick with an assist from Anne, who notes that he has cystic fibrosis. Dr. Wings swings his dick all over the place, and also has devised a theory of deharnessification that involves cutting the harness off with a blowtorch instead of pulling it out, thus leaving the needle nubs in the back. He also theorizes that the harness synthesizes opium. The kids are totally drugged up! Suddenly being slave labor for the aliens sounds kind of fun. Anyway, if you cut off the needles you cut off the drug, and the kid goes into shock, which equals death. He's set up a morphine drip, pumping the kid full of junk now as a bridge with a plan to wean him off of it later. As he is explaining all of this the harness removal is happening and it is so drippy, oh my God. A while after the harness is removed, Rick has a seizure, but an injection of some junk calms him down and Dr. Wings is all, "I totally expected that to happen."
Meanwhile, Tom goes back and finds Hal, who tells him what's happened with unfortunate Karen and the six unfortunate now dead harnessed kids. Hal is pissed that the others left him, but mostly glad that Tom came back. He's also kind of traumatized about the whole killed kids situation, and surprised that the Skitters let him go. Tom points out (using a historical parallel, natch) that Hal is a messenger. The message is, "Take one, we'll kill the rest." Tom redoubles his conviction to leave no harnessed child behind.
Back at Camp Second Mass, the Skitter POW is being kept in like the most unsecure giant cage you've ever seen. Porter announces that Dr. Wings will be sticking around for three weeks to study it, which Weaver is not so excited about. In other news, Pope makes a delicious soup!
Tom and Dr. Wings have a tete-a-tete, in which we learn that Dr. Wings actually left Tom's wife Rebecca when the attacks started. Like, left her for dead to save himself. Tom decks him something good, and then Dr. Wings is all, "You're the one who slept in while she foraged for food during an alien attack, so it's your fault too." Seriously, he's such an ass. Tom gets really sad about it all, as you do when you have a dead wife and a harnessed kid. But forget this human drama! The POW Skitter huffs and puffs and opens his eyes, and Rick opens his eyes simultaneously! Oh, shit!
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Falling Skies: So much shit went down, I can't possibly collapse it into one pithy sentence. Check out the highly detailed recap for specifics.
We enter on harnessed kids, including Tom's son Ben, walking zombie-like with the dirtiest faces (my GOD Skitter captors, give these kids access to some basic hygiene here!) beside and on top of what appears to be an abandoned warehouse or factory. There are huge piles of scrap metal on the ground, and copper wire, metal coils and the like on the roof. The zombie kids are gathering it and piling it up with their signature glazed look, tentacle harnesses poking out of their shirts all the while. Tom & Co. are on a rooftop across the way, checking out the action with binoculars. Hal and Tom agree that the kids are scavenging scrap metal, and we see a Skitter skittering about on the ground and checking out the haul. Maggie speaks for all of us when she says, "They came here in spaceships and turned kids into slaves just to collect old toasters and copper wire?" Lame, Skitters. Really lame. As they continue to gaze upon the Skitter and Mech below, Tom says that there must be a reason for it. If they need metal so badly, why don't they just melt down the Mechs? How sad to know that even on other planets the entire budget goes straight to the military. The Skitter HammerHead Start programs are really suffering, I bet.
Anthony asks how many kids they should prepare to grab and Tom says that they're going to get as many as they can. They diddle around with their weapons and look more closely at what they're up against. There are two Mechs patrolling the front of the building and one in the back, as well as two Skitters -- one outside and one inside. Tom says, "Six of us, five of them. I like those odds." When you're going up against one creature that has six legs and tusks and another that can blow your head from your torso with a giant laser pointer, I don't think you should ever like your odds. Anthony points out that they're low on ammo and supplies and are also really tired and will only get one shot at this. The kids are going to be in this location tomorrow and the day after that, he says (apparently he's a soldier and ALSO a soothsayer!), noting that they've already lost Click. Tom is all, "That's my son over there," and while they're discussing it, Karen peeks over the side of the roof and accidentally pushes a loose brick, which goes careening to the ground, right near a Mech. It starts shooting at them and they retreat, with Tom promising Hal that they'll come back later. FYI, Tom is like zero for a million in his missions, and it's only the second episode. Not that I would do much better being second-in-command of a post-apocalyptic human resistance, I guess.
Tom & Co. make it back to JFK High School, the HQ for the 2nd Mass. Dr. Anne Glass is there to greet them, but Tom is not particularly in the mood for flirting. He tells her that they spotted Ben and about a dozen other kids, and when she asks if he's okay Tom just says, "He's alive." Dr. Anne has some good news to tell him, but before she can get to it Tom is surrounded by people who want to know if he saw their missing kids. Everyone has pictures that they're sticking in his face, even as Tom tries to explain that they really didn't get close enough to recognize anyone. Mike tries to exert some crowd control, and when one lady gets all peeved, he points out that everyone is missing kids including himself (his son's name is Rick) and Tom. Tom, who seems to be starting to crack a little, promises that they'll do everything possible to get the kids back. Dr. Anne has the bright idea for people to post the pictures on the school bulletin board like it's a big milk carton, and Dai and Anthony suggest that they include any sort of identifying information that might be helpful. Tom promises that the squads will check the boards before each and every mission. This is what life was like before Facebook and iPhones! You just had to remember stuff in your head and shit. How horrible.
Tom learns that Commander Porter is back earlier than expected, and Dr. Anne explains that he's the one who brought the good news that she was referring to. Tom heads in to Porter's briefing, in which he says that the picture of this war is changing. A runner who was sent west ran into a contingent of resistance fighters just outside of Chicago. OMG, WHAT HAPPENED TO OPRAH? And why did nobody send her to talk to the alien invaders directly? This whole thing could have gone down so much differently! The Skitters would have been like, "I guess turning innocent children into zombie slaves collecting scrap metal does not, in fact, mean that I'm living my best life." But then Dr. Phil would have gotten involved in the OWN docu-series about Skitters learning how to reinvent themselves and they would have blown us up even worse. Anyway, the Chicago contingent has made contact with groups from Texas, Oklahoma, and even California. This means that the 2nd Mass is not in this alone, which is good news. The bad news is that alien high-rises, like the one hovering over Boston, have popped up in every city that they know about. Nobody knows what they're for. I suspect they're part of the Skitter gentrification plan.
In any case, as of now, the entire resistance is in a full-court press to gather intelligence on the enemy -- their plans, tactics, weapons, and technology. Maybe someone could also find out why they're so slimy all the time. Since the 2nd Mass now has a secure base, Porter also wants them to start collecting war material such as motorcycles, weapons, explosives, and camo gear. He says that this is so they can support a growing insurgency, but really it's so they can look bad-ass while fighting the good post-apocalyptic fight. Weaver orders his people to break down into search and requisition teams of four to six fighters -- he'll deliver their assignments tomorrow.
As everyone is leaving, Porter and Weaver talk to Tom. Porter has heard about the harnessed kid sighting. Tom shares that at night the Skitters have the kids at a hospital on Route 9, and by day they're scavenging scrap metal. This is consistent with other reports that Porter has heard about kids being used as slave labor. He says that their science team is still struggling with the harness thing -- they were able to remove harnesses from three kids, but they died a few hours later. The chief surgeon thinks that he's figured out the problem, but in order to test the theory he needs a kid. You and Tom both know who they want that kid to be. Tom for sure needs a hot meal and a good night's sleep and should not be making this decision right now! Porter gives him the option to say no, but I don't think he really means it. Tom says that he can't go back and rescue just one kid -- he has to rescue them all. Porter promises that they'll go back and then Crazy Weaver pipes in to be all, "Grrr, damn civilian kids!" He thinks that the priority has to be on winning the war and not saving people, pointing out quite rightly that if they save a couple of dozen kids but lose the war, they'll be no better off than they were in the harness. Tom says that they'll die free, but Weaver is not swayed. He thinks it's a waste of time and resources, but acknowledges that it's not his call. It's Porter's and he wants them to grab Ben only.
Weaver leaves and Tom asks Porter if he's okay. Porter says that he was due to retire when all this happened and had nothing to look forward to but golf, travel and a stack of spy novels on his nightstand. I can't quite tell if he's being sarcastic or if he's one of those crazy people who actually want to work themselves into a grave and are convinced that they'll have no idea what to do when they retire. To those people, I say: I'll trade ya! Recapping Falling Skies takes roughly a million hours a week, so you won't have to be bothered with all that pesky "free time." Porter tells Tom to go out there and get Ben, but dammit be careful.
Meanwhile, a makeshift society is being built in the school. Kids ride around on bicycles in the gym, where a biology class is also being taught. And...wait. Why wouldn't they use a classroom for that? They're in an actual school! Some kids play and laugh, not knowing the tentacle zombiehood that will comprise their adolescence. Little Matt is sitting on the bleachers, pouting as usual. He can't even muster up the energy to be happy that his dad has returned with his torso still attached to his legs. Why don't you go ride your Ripstick again so everyone can be enraptured about how poignant it is, you surly moppet? Ugh. He asks if Tom brought Ben back and Tom says that they didn't, but they did find him and he's safe and they're going back for him. Matt continues to pout until Tom asks him what the matter is, and Ben reveals that a classmate told him that when you take harnesses off, kids die. Parenting is full of awkward moments, right? Tom kind of lies and says that was before -- before a really smart doctor figured out how to take them off safely. I would correct that to, "Before an asswipe doctor theorized a way to take them off safely, which is still, in fact, untested." Tom does not go so far as to tell Matt that Ben will actually be okay, but the kid has a renewed spark of hope gleaming beneath his curly moptop.
Uncle Scott, replete in his fishing vest, enters Pope's cell (along with an armed guard) to give him dinner. Pope shovels in three bites before spitting his meal all over the floor. Uncle Scott asks if he's got a problem and Pope asks if he's been served Skitter a la King. You know some restaurant in Florida would totally have that on the menu. Uncle Scott explains that its chicken and rice and that Pope will have to excuse it not living up to his high standards since they all take turns in the kitchen. And...wait. Where would they even get chicken? The Purdue factory was magically spared from the attacks and complete lack of electricity? Pope surmises that it was Uncle Scott's turn to cook and then drops some knowledge on him: a) the chicken is way undercooked; b) there's enough salt in the dish to give his kid a stroke; and c) nobody puts paprika on chicken. The latter point is punctuated with, "What are you, Hungarian?" I take offense to that! Uncle Scott tries to play the old, "You do realize you're a prisoner," card, but Pope is undeterred. He continues dropping knowledge by saying that before you grill it, fry it, or put it on a barbeque, you poach the chicken first, preferably in stock with some herbs and spices. It absorbs everything and then all the moisture and flavor is cooked into it. Ladies and gentlemen, meet your Food Network star! Uncle Scott asks, "What are you, a cook?" In fact, Pope is certified in culinary arts. And it's chef.
Cut to Crazy Weaver asking Maggie how the food was in her situation. She says that when she could stomach eating with a bunch of degenerate psychos, the food wasn't bad. And Pope did indeed prepare it. Uncle Scott notes that Pope apparently trained in prison, and says he's an advocate of putting him to the test. Weaver is wary, which is exactly the right instinct, but Uncle Scott points out that he'll be under guard at all times and that everyone is fucking sick of eating oatmeal. Pope enters, guarded by Anthony, and when asked if he'd like to cook notes that they've got 50 cans of lima beans, 32 cans of tuna fish, chicken and rice. He adds, "Rots and rotsa rice," which denotes that he's still a racist asshole, but also would have been more effective if Dai were his guard. With Anthony, I personally would have gone with a chicken joke. Pope is not impressed with the scrounging ability of the 2nd Mass and points out that the Riverbottom Nightmare Band hunted. Anthony, who is seriously sick of the racist bullshit, points out that there were only 12 degenerate psychos and 300 2nd Mass residents. He sticks his gun into Pope's back and screams that maybe he can't hack it. It's so Y chromosome that these dudes get all agro on the subject of a chicken dinner. Pope points out that he cooked Thanksgiving dinner for three entire cell blocks, which is 170 inmates. If they didn't like his food, well...he doesn't say this explicitly, but basically he'd be ass-raped through Christmas Eve. Weaver says that the facilities are substandard, the provisions are meager and right now they have to cook on camp stoves. Nevertheless, Pope accepts the job, adding, "But for the love of God could somebody please get me some olive oil." EVOO only for this gourmand!
Tom goes to see Anne, who's organizing supplies with an assist from fucking Lourdes. (She does nothing blatantly horrible during this episode, but TRUST.) He asks if Anne's talked to the doctor who devised the harness removal theory. She has, briefly, and says that the procedure is simple to the point of elegance. The guy, well, he's very smart, very capable and very sure he's the best man for the job. In other words, a huge dick. Tom supposes he's also good looking and Lourdes guesses he is, for an older man of about 40. Tom gives a flirty, "Ouch," which is really meant for Anne, who in turn giggles, because now the only way these two can flirt is through an intermediary Jesus freak. Post-apocalyptic romance is hard, yo. Anne says that the miracle doctor is none other than Michael Harris and Tom gets a REALLY weird look on his face that, for some reason, makes his nose look super long. She asks if he knows Dr. Harris. And then! It turns out that we ALL know Dr. Harris, because he is Steven Weber from Wings! Trust me, I'm just as excited as you are. Tom gives him a complicated look and says, "Michael. You're alive." And Dr. Wings is all, "Ditto." And then they hug an awkward bro hug and we head to a tension-laden commercial break.
When we return, we do not learn, as I had hoped, that Professor Tom and Dr. Wings were secret gay lovers. In fact, Dr. Wings and Tom's wife, Rebecca, were together on the day of the attacks. And not as secret straight lovers, as I had hoped. Dr. Wings explains to Tom that he and Rebecca foraged for a few hours and then it looked like rain, so they both figured it would be more efficient to split up. There hadn't been an attack for a while. Sadly, that streak ended just at that inconvenient moment. Alien airships started pounding the area and Dr. Wings says that he tried to get to her, he really did, and got a big arm wound in the process. Then the second wave of the attack started and he hid in a collapsed house, where he passed out until a group of fighters found him the day and he became the medical officer for the resistance. This whole time Tom is looking like he wants to clock Dr. Wings but good. Dr. Wings says he can't tell Tom how sorry he is, and Tom just nods looking like he now wants to punch Dr. Wings right in the throat, with a rebound to the balls, and walks away with a curt, "Thanks for telling me." Maybe Dr. Wings and Rebecca were indeed heterosexual lovers, but it was not so secret! Not that the slimy aliens and automatic weapons aren't fun and all, but if this show added a dash of Knots Landing it could really be exceptional.
Dr. Wings asked what happened to Tom's boys and learns that Ben is harnessed and that there is plan to rescue him that very night. But Tom doesn't want to make depressing-slash-hopeful small talk. He points out that when they found Rebecca, they went to look for Dr. Wings, but there were Skitter patrols everywhere. Dr. Wings says, "You don't owe me an apology." Tom was, in fact, totally not apologizing, but rather pointing out some way in which Dr. Wings is sketchy and his story doesn't add up. Dr. Wings is not eager to pick up that line of conversation, however, and tells Tom to bring Ben to him -- he couldn't save Rebecca, but maybe he can bring back Tom's boy. How awkward to have the sketchy arch nemesis who left your wife to die and was maybe boning her be the only person to operate on your mind controlled zombie son! TNT really does know drama.
Suddenly it is night and Tom & Co. are setting out on their mission to save Ben. Tom pauses to look at the bulletin board filled with missing kid photos and a sign that reads, "Save our babies!" The person who wrote that should be harnessed and forced to scavenge the worst sort of scrap metal -- like binder clips. Our heroes head on their way. But wait, it's totally daylight where the harnessed kids are collecting scrap metal. I guess the school is just really dark? I'm sure it was a public school with substandard facilities and grimy windows. That's probably where they got the chicken, which lasted six months without rotting because it's made entirely of chemicals. Thanks, Sodexo! Anyway, the zombie children have done a really great job collecting scrap metal! No wonder the Skitters wanted them -- they're good little workers, despite moving so slow. A Skitter overseer skits by an old car and into the abandoned building, and from behind a pile of rubble Tom is thankful that they didn't spy the explosives in the car. Mike is with Tom, while Dai waits in the getaway truck in a nearby driveway. A Mech stomps by an open doorway where Hal and Karen are crouching with guns, but it doesn't see them.
Tom peers through his binoculars and sees the first group of kids, but Ben is not among them. A second group comes through and Tom thinks he sees Ben, but then realizes it's another kid. And then! Mike takes a look and recognizes his son, Rick, walking by the building. He totally freaks the fuck out, as I guess you probably would if you thought that maybe your kid was dead but then you saw him as part of some zombie mind controlled chain gang overseen by hostile alien warlords. Mike cannot keep it in check, which is I think a bad space to be in when you're the second other black guy. He runs out from behind their barricade and grabs a non-responsive Rick, saying, "It's dad. It's dad." Rick has awesome hair, but vacant eyes. He could totally give a rat that he's being rescued right now. A Mech comes stomping up and Tom detonates the car bomb. I wonder if the Mech can just straight-up be added to the scrap metal pile now?
When the bomb goes off, Karen and Hal figure that Tom and Mike must have gotten Ben. They run out of their hiding spot and Dai comes screeching around the corner with the getaway truck. Tom helps Mike throw Rick in the truck bed and then says he's going back for Ben. En route, however, he encounters a Mech on the rooftop who shoots his laser pointer. It misses Tom, but lands close enough that the impact sends him flying. Hal and Karen shoot at the Mech as Dai picks up an unconscious Tom and throws him into the truck. And then! Dai just totally drives away, leaving Hal and Karen behind! That is SO NOT COOL! This is what happens when mommies and daddies have to fight. After the truck leaves, the Mech jumps to the ground and stands face to face with Hal and Karen. The Mech goes, "Unnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhhh," as it is wont to do. Hal and Karen's expressions, which read, "Holy fuckballs," pretty much say it all.
When we return from a commercial break, Tom comes to with Dai, Hal and zombie Ricky in some sort of building. I'm not sure exactly what they're doing there, other than it's a very atmospheric setting for a dramatic event that (spoiler, kind of!) may or may not be coming. Tom asks where Hal and Karen are and is not happy when Dai tells him that a Mech was on their tail and they couldn't wait. I'm with Tom on this one. That's lame, Dai. It's a quarter of a mile or less to the school, so Tom tells Dai and Mike (and by extension zombie Rick) to go there. He's going back to save Hal and Karen. Dai urges Tom to come with them and at least get weapons and reinforcements, but Tom says there's no time. At least someone has the appropriate sense of urgency in this scenario.
Tom asks Mike what he was thinking. Mike apologizes, but says that this zombie-ass fuck in his arms is the only family he's got left. It's a sad state of affairs, really. Tom then asks where the rest of the weapons are, and Dai says that he had to leave them in the truck. I still don't understand why they left the truck, and where they are now. Anybody? This is my fourth time watching this episode, and it's still a mystery to me. Then again, many of my brain cells are compromised due to my television priorities having historically been heavily focused on the Real Housewives franchise. Dai offers Tom a sawed-off shotgun, rope and flashlight, and tells him to be careful. Way to step up, Dai!
Tom heads down a dark hallway, wielding his flashlight. Suddenly there's a really disturbing dripping noise, and Tom asks who's there. People, don't tell me that you wouldn't make certain assumptions about the origins of a slimy dripping sound in this particular context. Tom shines the flashlight in his own eyes before it lands on, you guessed it, a Skitter. It's a mean one, too! The Skitter skitters on the ceiling like it's in Inception, and there are fisticuffs. Tom is knocked to the ground and the Skitter jumps on top of him and is TOTALLY going to ass-rape him! It's a kinky Skitter, so it chokes and punches him at the same time. Tom is not down with this at all though, because while he may have experimented in grad school, this is a whole different thing. He scootches back, grabs his gun and then blows off a Skitter leg, just like Pope told him to do. Tom blows off another leg and the Skitter is down. It would seem reasonable to shoot the Skitter in the head at this point, but Tom decides instead to beat the fuck out of it with the gun handle. That's one way to get out your aggression toward your would-be rapist, I guess.
Back at Camp 2nd Mass, Anthony runs up to Weaver and Porter, who are conveniently together, and tells them that Dai and Mike are back with a harnessed kid who isn't Ben. While they discuss the Rick situation, Weaver goes to check out what the ruckus in the hallway is all about. He is greeted by the sight of Tom pulling a hog-tied and unconscious, but still living, Skitter down the hallway. The other humans in the building look appropriately awed and grossed out as Tom tells Weaver that he's brought him a prisoner of war. Weaver asks if Tom beat this thing himself and how. Tom repeats the show's mantra, "You've just gotta get close enough." Tom, to be honest, looks a little worse for the wear. I would recommend a hot bath and a healing glass of pinot noir, but he has other ideas. He asks Weaver if he can trade his sawed-off shotgun for an automatic, because he now has to go and save Ben, Hal and Karen. Weaver gives him Anthony's weapon, and also offers two fighters. Tom, however, thinks it's safer if he goes this alone. Weaver is begrudgingly impressed, and also a little grossed out, and also maybe now has some mild sexual feelings for Tom. Post-apocalyptic war is a confusing time.
The crowd clears a path for Tom to walk out, following the same slimy trail where he came in. Seriously, you guys. What do these Skitters use for a moisturizer? Tom passes Matt, who has heard everything. Instead of whining about how he needs a new baseball glove or whatever, Matt mans up and tells Tom to go get 'em. Seriously, though, who is going to clean up that mess? School janitors always get the worst of it.
Cut back to Hal, just returning to consciousness and looking a little banged up. He sees an unconscious Karen being dragged away by two zombie kids, one of whom is Ben. Hal calls to Ben, but it's no use. He seems not to be too concerned about his girlfriend, which I guess is how things are when you've got the entire living teenage lady population on your jock. Suddenly, a light shines on Hal. A Mech is at the other end of it. This can't be good, right? A Skitter skitters in front of him, followed by a zombie parade of five harnessed kids. One of those kids has a hipster mullet and so deserves what's about to happen right now. The Skitter points at Hal, then at the harnessed kids and makes some sort of unholy noise. As Hal watches, the Mech totally laser blasts the kids dead. Hal screams a whole bunch and we have a commercial break during which to think about how much damn therapy he's going to need if the world ever gets right again.
When we return, Dr. Wings and Dr. Anne Glass are preparing to operate on Rick, as assistants Dai and Lourdes lurk. Anne notes that Mike told her that Rick has cystic fibrosis. Dr. Wings is surprised, noting that he didn't hear anything in Rick's lungs. In any case, he's on supplemental oxygen, so as long as his airways remain clear it shouldn't be a problem. Rick lays face down on a makeshift operating table as Dr. Wings gets his tools in order. He says that if they had access to modern hospitals and labs this all could have been figured out in a matter of hours. Yes, but if they had access to modern hospitals and labs, they probably also wouldn't be forced to conduct this sort of an operation. As it were, Dr. Wings says, they have relied on educated guesses and trial and error. No wonder they killed a bunch of kids already.
Weaver enters and asks what he can do to help. Dr. Wings practically whips out his dick and whacks Weaver with it as he says, "You can stay out of my way." Weaver gives him the old side-eye, but is clearly out of his element. Dr. Wings explains to the others that the whole idea of this new operation is to expose as much needle as possible. He means the needles that attach the harnesses to the spine, of course. Weaver pipes in to say that pulling out the needles kills the harnessed kids and it takes all the restraint that Dr. Wings has not to just say, "Duh." Instead, he picks up a blowtorch and explains that they're cutting them instead. He says that he learned that the hard way and Weaver replies, "So did a lot of people." Burn! Dr. Wings would very much like Weaver to get out, but Weaver just stands there, looking suspicious of Dr. Wings with his button-down shirt and blowtorch and suspicious amount of hair product for a post-apocalyptic context. Meanwhile, I bet if Pope can swipe that blowtorch, he'll find a way to make a nice crème brulee.
Dr. Wings says that he likes to expose at least an inch of needle, and asks Anne and Lourdes to start the drip. They have a fair amount of equipment for a makeshift operating room set up in a school cafeteria. Steven Weber looks totally creepy in the light of the blowtorch, which puts me in mind of his role as Jack Torrance in the made-for-TV version of The Shining. (Also featuring Rebecca De Mornay! I know!) I read that Stephen King was unhappy with the Kubrick version, because it strayed so far from his book, and so he wrote the screenplay for the miniseries. Which, frankly, was not the greatest. Steven Weber wasn't that bad, though, especially for being "That guy from Wings" and not Jack Nicholson. He has reserves of rage, despite his affable persona.
Anyway, Anne, Lourdes and Dai lift up the harness while Dr. Wings starts carefully blow-torching the needles. This is when things start to get very drippy. It's so foul, I can't even tell you. It's like what comes at the other end of your neti pot when you have a sinus infection. Dr. Wings says that the first few times they cut the needles, the patients died. He instructs Anne to look at Rick's eyes, which are pinpoints. Turns out that the Skitters are TOTALLY doping the harnessed kids! Maybe being a harnessed kid isn't so bad after all? You're pumped full of junk and you have a job that lets you be outside all day! Dr. Wings explains that the harness synthesizes an opiate and is like nothing they've ever seen before. He realized that when you cut off the needles, you cut off the drug. The kid goes into shock, and then bam! Dead. The morphine drip is used as a bridge, since all opiates affect the same brain receptors. If you pump the kid full of morphine before taking off the harness, you can wean him off when he's stable and harness-less. Weaver looks on and appears to be thinking that he's living in a strange, strange world now. At his core, after all, he's just a simple guy who likes to talk in a gruff voice and shoot stuff.
With that, the harness has been cut off. Rick's blood pressure is stable and his back looks like it has raspberry preserves down the spine. Little needle nubs stick out, too. Dr. Wings says that once the needles penetrate the spine, they soften, grow roots and become part of the host's nervous system. Anne wonders how that's possible and Dr. Wings throws around the term "nano-engineering." Basically, I think he means, "alien hoodoo." They look like needles, but behave more like living tissue. So if a kid wears the harness long enough, the harness and the kid become one. That is both awesome and terrible. You could really never wear anything backless again!
Rick starts seizing and Anne is all, "Uh, doctor?" Dr. Wings moves SO SLOWLY to get a shot of something and Mike yells at him to move it. Dr. Wings in turn instructs Dai to get Mike out of there. He puts a shot of junk into Ricky's IV and Ricky calms down. Dr. Wings tells Anne that he was totally expecting that. Anne, like everyone else, suspects that Dr. Wings is a total tool.
Meanwhile, Tom is skulking around the darkened streets, looking for his two sons and Karen. He doesn't have to go far, as he sees Hal stumbling and dazed in the middle of the street. Tom runs to him and Hal collapses before answering all of Tom's initial questions with the perfectly valid statement, "You drove away." He does manage to impart the news that Karen has been taken by the Skitters before tossing out a particularly brutal, "You left." Tom says that technically it wasn't HIM who left and that had he not been unconscious, he never would have left Hal behind. Hal starts crying and is just glad that Tom came back. In turn, Tom is just glad that Hal is alive. As they're hugging, Hal tells Tom what happened with the harnessed kids killed by the Mech. He says it was like they wanted him to see it and then let him go. Professor Tom, never one to miss an opportunity for a historical parallel, tells Hal that Nazis sometimes did this with Allied prisoners of war. They're sending a message -- "take one and we'll kill the rest." They left Hal alive to be the messenger. Well, message received. Tom redoubles his conviction to take not just Ben but all the kids the time they come back.
We return from a break to find Anthony putting the finishing touches on a cage for the POW Skitter. Basically, it looks like the Skitter is in a storeroom, or maybe the Assistant Principal's office, and Anthony has welded some sort of metal cage piece where the door would be. Weaver says that if it were up to him, they'd kill the damned thing now. Although he is crazy in many respects, I think Weaver is right in this instance. Anthony agrees, but Porter shows up to say that nobody's had a live Skitter and if they're to beat the Skitters (hahahah, poop joke) they need to understand them. Weaver notes that Tom handled this one with a sawed-off shotgun and a flashlight, and wonders what else there is to understand. As it turns out, that's Dr. Wings' call. So he's a research biologist as well as a surgeon? His background in physiology and anatomy is good enough for Porter. Crazy Weaver is totally not happy that Dr. Wings will be with them for another three weeks. The Skitter snores in a way that would be sort of endearing if you didn't know that as soon as it woke up, its first choice of activities would be to eat your face.
Meanwhile, it turns out that Pope makes a pretty good soup. People are subdued in their praise, however, since it's hard to know how complimentary to be to a degenerate psycho cum overqualified lunch lady. The minions of Rachel Ray go through this daily. Weaver says that Pope might be of some use after all, and that he'll get a week-long trial as chef. Pope wonders if this means he doesn't have to be locked up anymore and Weaver, in a particularly flawless line delivery, says, "It does not. Lock him up." As he's being carted off, Pope yells that Weaver won't regret it. Weaver replies that he already regrets it, which again is exactly the right instinct.
Tom visits the operating room and finds Rick and a sleeping Anne. When he wakes her, Anne tells him that Rick is stable and that the procedure seems to have worked. Rick looks like he's okay. Mike, who is also in the room, says that he's praying. He leaves and Dr. Anne tends to Tom's wounds. She hasn't yet heard about his latest misadventure, but soon learns that Karen has been captured. Anne asks how Hal is taking it and, in a blatant bit of transference, Tom tears up as he says that Hal blames himself. Tom seems agitated as he says that now they know how to take the harnesses off without killing kids and double checks with Anne that Dr. Wings knows what he's doing. She's a little hesitant as she says that he's great. That seems like a bit of an overstatement. Maybe, "Despite his douchey nature, he sure knows how to wield a blow torch on tissue-spikes," would be more accurate.
Tom goes to see Dr. Wings, who is gazing upon the captive Skitter as he drinks scotch. He tells Tom that Porter wants him to stick around a while longer and make a fuller study of their "conquerors." Tom is PO'ed about this particular terminology and also just looking for a reason to get into it with Dr. Wings. He says that they're not conquered unless they give up. As the Skitter stirs, Dr. Wings says that he has too much respect for Tom's intelligence to take that little display of human vanity seriously. And then, in a little display of asshole vanity, Dr. Wings says that there are people who actually believe that surviving the first wave of the invasion proves that they're the best of mankind. He doesn't agree, and says that those people who ran away and found the deepest holes to hide in are survivors. Oh, gurrrrl, you should not have said that!
Dr. Wings is making a point out of the fact that hiding in a hole isn't ennobling, but Tom has latched on to the subtext here. He asks, "Is that how you survived? Running away? Hiding?" And then the whole thing becomes like a lawyer show, with Professor Tom doing some serious cross-examination. He says that the morning of the attack, when Dr. Wings and Rebecca got caught outside, Dr. Wings ran and hid, abandoning her to save himself. Dr. Wings is all, "Oh, erm, gosh, well, cough." He says that he already told Tom that Rebecca wasn't with him when the attack started, but Tom isn't buying it. He says that when he found Rebecca she was still holding on to the duffle bag full of provisions that they'd collected and it was much too heavy for her to carry by herself. And that's how Tom knows that Dr. Wings was with her when the attacks started. Frankly, I think it's her own dumb-ass fault for not dropping the bag and finding a good hole.
Dr. Wings has a look on his face that shows he's stone cold busted. He then says that it wasn't premeditated, but rather a split-second decision and, upon some encouragement, he says he guesses that he thought the community needed his medical support. Before he can quite finish that sentiment, Tom decks him but good. It's very satisfying. In a stellar bit of dialogue, Dr. Wings hovers on the floor and says, "I guess you had to do that, huh?" and Tom replies, "You guessed right." Dr. Wings shows that he also has a correspondence degree in psychology as he tells Tom that he must feel pretty guilty. Tom doesn't know what he's talking about, so Dr. Wings says that it was Tom's morning to collect provisions. But Rebecca knew how exhausted he was and couldn't bring herself to wake him up. Well that's not his fault if the Skitters stopped all the alarm clocks on the planet from working! God.
Dr. Wings says that Rebecca really loved Tom, but it should have been him out there during the morning of the attack. He adds that Tom is as responsible for her death as he is and maybe more. This guy clearly likes being punched in the face. Also, these two should stop being so embroiled in their own human drama and realize that, in fact, the Skitters are the ones most responsible for Rebecca's death. Stop the cycle of blame! Dr. Wings adds that because he's still around, Tom has a chance to see his son unharnessed. Rebecca's death might mean saving Ben's life. Tom says that the Skitters won't win, and Dr. Wings replies with a toolish, "We'll see." Tom says that no matter how each of them survived, maybe they owe it to those who didn't to become the best of mankind. Dr. Wings gets a look on his face like, "Seriously, people?" and walks off.
Apparently the Skitters didn't melt all the candles on earth, because there's a whole bunch burning underneath the bulletin board of missing kids. I'm surprised Lourdes didn't fashion a Virgin Mary out of lentils. Tom hangs a picture of Ben and then goes to sit near Hal and Matt, who are snuggling in their sleep. Cut to Rick, who also appears to be sleeping peacefully. Then cut to the captive Skitter who starts to stir more. His eyes pop open and so do Rick's. Oh, shit! There is some dastardly mind control fuckery that is about to go down week!
week: Dastardly mind control fuckery, I tell you!
Potes recommends that you serve a crisp sauvignon blanc with your Skitter a la King. She can be tweeted @traciepotes and emailed at potesypotes@gmail.com.
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