Need To Know

We open, at night, in downtown Everwood, with Delia and Ephram looking through a store window all decorated up for the holidays. Delia tells Ephram, "I'm telling you, the whole thing is a big fat lie." Ephram is like, "Are you ready to go yet?" Delia says she and Brittany promised each other that they'd get each other two presents, but one is enough. They start walking, and Delia asks Ephram if he thinks she needs a lawyer. Ephram says that he is pretty sure a lawyer won't take her case just because she doesn't like her part in the school holiday pageant. Delia complains that it's NOT a holiday pageant; it's all about Christmas, and it's all a big sham. "I'm playing an angel! There are no angels in the Hanukkah story. There are no angels in the Kwanzaa story." Hee. Ephram asks her if she even knows what Kwanzaa is, and Delia's like, "Uh, no, but I bet it doesn't have angels." Ephram suggests that she stage a revolution, and tell them that she's going to play Elijah -- that way she doesn't even have to show up. Delia: "If you're going to make jokes that go over my head, can you at least explain them to me?" Ephram starts to explain, but gets distracted by a flyer on his car that is advertising -- dun dun dun! -- Madison's band, which is playing that weekend at a coffee house in Everwood. Delia asks if she can come, but Ephram says he's not going. Delia asks why not, and Ephram responds, "Get in the car, Elijah." And, although this would be the absolute perfect time for some good old Irv narration, we are unrewarded. DY, B! Credits.

We come back to the Abbott/Brown office, where Patch is merrily hanging one million holiday decorations. Treat walks in and says it's "Christmas-y." Patch can't believe that Treat isn't upset that he wasn't consulted: "No grousing? No quick-witted barbs about my audacious integration of traditional Victorian ornamentation with the more plebeian drugstore variety?" Treat tells Patch that it's eight o'clock in the morning, and he's going to have to use smaller words. Patch: "You remain quite the dour little elf." Hey, you. Whoever's writing Patch? Please stay. Treat tells Patch that it really pisses him off when he calls him an elf. How many times has this happened before, one wonders? Treat slams into his office. Patch informs Louise that she'll -- "naturally" -- want to double up on the vacuuming duty, as there's nothing more irksome than errant tinsel strewn about. Louise is all, "I just LOVE the holidays." and wanders off in search of the Hoover. Treat walks back out of his office, and apologizes to Patch. He says he's just completely overwhelmed with his caseload and the holidays and all, and asks if Patch can take some off his hands. Patch says that it is, after all, the season of charity, and takes the folder that Treat has proffered. Patch looks at it, and says, "Wait. You're giving me John Hayes back?" Treat says all Patch has to do is go to the Hayes's house over the holidays and oversee John's progress. "I think you'll be fascinated by some of the work we've been doing. It's very cutting-edge. And when I think 'cutting-edge,' I think 'Harold Abbott.'" Hee. Patch says being a human CD-changer is hardly cutting-edge. Treat concedes this, but says it's really a very simple routine once you get used to it, albeit time-consuming. Patch says "time-consuming" is exactly what he does not need right now, but Treat sort of guilts him into it, then says Amanda really needs someone to help her through this. Patch is all, "Amanda?" Treat answers with, "Would you just help me out on this?" Patch will.

I would like you to know that this recap was just interrupted by a very loud fireworks show, which we watched from our front yard, which is only a few blocks from the river that they're shot from. God, I love this town.

Amy and Hannah are doing a little Christmas shopping at the mall. Amy is waffling over Ephram's gift; Hannah is all, "God. Can we GO?" Amy says she wants her first Christmas present for Ephram to be original and awesome; Hannah complains that she's developing hives. Heh. Amy says she just has one more thing to get -- her dad's present -- and then they can go. Hannah asks what Patch likes. Amy: "I don't know. Bad music, argyle...Mister Rogers." Hannah says she feels like there should be some perfect hybrid of those things. Amy agrees, and asks Hannah what she's getting her dad. Hannah is all hesitant and weird, saying she doesn't know. Amy says she thought Hannah's parents were coming in for Christmas. Hannah says they're not, actually. Amy pries more, asking if she's going to Hong Kong. Hannah, clearly uncomfortable, tells Amy that Christmas just isn't a big deal in her family, then changes the subject. And here is where a big sign flashes on the screen: FORESHADOWING! FORESHADOWING! BEWARE!

Cut to Ephram, working on his laptop at a pizza place. Bright breezes in and orders "two pies for the County Clerk's office." He turns and sees Ephram sitting there, then gives one of those frat-boy nods. Awesome. Ephram offers him a seat for waiting. Bright reluctantly takes it. He notices the band flyer, and says he got one on his car, too. Ephram is like, "Yeah. Weird, right?" Bright says it ain't weird for him, and asks if Ephram is going. Ephram says he is not, like, why would he? Bright: "Why do all those people slow down on the freeway when they see a car wreck, all those rubberheaders?" Hee. "Rubberheaders." Ephram corrects him, which Bright ignores, going on to say that those people stop because they can't help themselves. Ephram says he can too help himself, and Bright wonders if he isn't just the tiniest bit curious. Ephram says of course he's curious, but what is he supposed to do, bring Amy along? Bright: "Dude. Seriously. I don't know how you made it this far without me." He advises Ephram that he is just supposed to go, enjoy it, whatever, and also, not tell Amy. Ephram thinks that this is a good plan. These two are the cutest boneheads in the whole land.

Diner. Nina asks Amy if she needs more coffee, to which Amy responds, "Your friends SUCK." Nina is like, "Gee, thanks!" Amy launches into her very angry speech about Hannah's parents not coming to see her for Christmas. Nina asks if Hannah said she was upset. Amy: "Not as upset as she should be, but that's only because she's not in touch with her rage. Luckily, I am." Hee. Nina says she can see that. Amy wants Hannah's parents' number in Hong Kong, so she can call them and give them a piece of her mind. Oh, Amy, that is so completely inappropriate. Nina says she'll call them. Amy says she'd rather do it herself. Nina is very vague about the number, and the time difference, and all other information regarding Hannah's parents. Amy looks at Nina for a long moment, then says, "There is no Hong Kong, is there." Nina says that, technically, there is a place called Hong Kong, but no, Hannah's parents aren't there. Amy wants to know what the hell is going on, but Nina tells her that she really needs to hear it from Hannah. Amy persists, but Nina says she really can't do this part. Amy gets upset that Hannah wouldn't have already told her about this. Nina tells Amy to think of the reasons why Hannah might keep something from her. Amy asks Nina if it's bad. Nina nods. Everything is really tense and sad.

Cut to Amy getting ready for her night out with Ephram, when Ephram calls and cancels their date. He says he feels sort of under the weather, and thinks he should stay home. It should be noted that Ephram is actually sitting in his car. Amy offers to bring him some soup, or his favorite cold medicine -- "you know, the one that makes you feel drunk." Heh. Ephram declines this offer, lying that he doesn't want to get her sick, too. Then he hangs up, gets out of his car, and walks into the coffee house. Ooh, somebody's going to get in BIG TROUBLE. Commercials.

When we come back, Ephram has found Bright inside the coffee house. Bright asks him if he came to see if he wanted to get back together with Madison. Ephram says it's not like that; he's happy with Amy. Bright: "Groovy. Well, this is just the Pepsi challenge." Ephram would like to, please, have this metaphor explained to him. Bright says that Ephram is currently in love with his current beverage, Amy-Cola, but every man needs the side-by-side taste test, which is why he's there -- to make sure he's made the right choice. Ephram: "You should write a book." Bright: "Thinkin' about it." The band is announced. The singer is totally not Madison. What, Sarah Lancaster wasn't available? Hey, don't look at me like that. I didn't cancel her horrible show.

Elementary school. Treat rushes out of the auditorium after the holiday pageant. Amanda catches up with him, chiding, "You're going to snag all the Oreos, aren't you?" Treat tells her she caught him, and comments that he didn't see Charlie in the show. Amanda says that Charlie was backstage, being the curtain man. "He gets tongue-fright. Uh, stage-tied. Tongue-tied. When he's nervous. It's genetic, as you can see." Aw. Treat says he's been meaning to call her. Amanda says it's all right; she wasn't expecting the new doctor to take the case. Treat says it doesn't matter anyway, because Patch is all over it, and he's very excited about this pro bono work. Amanda: "Dr. Abbott is excited about pro bono work. Does he know what 'pro bono' means?" Treat says he is, and he's sure that she will be very pleased with everything. Amanda tells Treat to stop it. "Stop talking to me like you don't even know who I am." Treat can't reply because he's interrupted by Delia, shrieking, "Daddy! Daddy, did you see me?" Treat tells her that she was the best Maccabee in the manger. Heh. Delia looks over at the table, and wants to know who took all the Oreos. Treat: "Probably some greedy parents." He tells Delia they'll go find some more, and turns to Amanda, telling her he'll call her. Amanda: "Don't." Getting chilly in here, ain't it?

Singing. "White Christmas." It's Patch, who has a pretty nice voice. As he sings, he places a reflective ornament on the Christmas tree, admiring himself and his vocal performance. Amy says she loves Bing, but can they maybe switch it up a bit? Patch dances Amy around, saying he will never silence the Bing. ["I think he actually said 'Der Bingle,' which I foundkind of hot. What can I say, I love Patch a lot." -- Sars] "When we Abbotts lose our traditions, we lose who we are!" Amy giggles. Rose says they should save the star for Bright; it's his favorite part. Amy disagrees, saying that Rice Krispie treats are his favorite part. Obviously. The doorbell rings. Amy says it might be Ephram, and she knew he didn't sound that sick. Uh huh. When Amy gets the door, it's actually Hannah, who opens with, "Nina says she talked to you." Amy says yeah, but Nina didn't tell anything. Hannah asks Amy if she has a minute. They go outside, and Hannah confesses, "My parents are in Wakefield, Minnesota, in the same house where I grew up." Amy asks why the whole Hong Kong thing. Hannah says that she was watching a marathon, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Ha! Amy says she still doesn't understand why Hannah made up the story in the first place. Hannah: "Because my dad is kinda dying." Aw. Sniff. Amy is like, "Oh my God, Hannah." Hannah tells her not to do that, that's why she made up the story in the first place, so she wouldn't be tragedy girl anymore. Amy says she understands that. Hannah tells Amy that her dad used to work in a library, restoring rare books. "He loved books. Not the insides, but the outsides. I just like the insides, and he said that made us a perfect fit. He was the book; I was the story." Oh, the tears. They are here. Hannah explains that her dad has Huntington's Disease, which is a brain disease, and it started when she was eight. "A year later, he couldn't eat. Then he couldn't talk. That was the worst part. But now he's gone." Amy, now on the verge of tears herself, asks if he died. Hannah says he's alive, but can't talk or think or move. She says her mom takes care of him, and her brother always took care of her, but when he went away to college, Hannah came to Everwood. "Don't feel sorry for me, okay?" she pleads. And we go to commercial and refill the fucking Kleenex.

We come back to Patch loitering outside the Hayes house. He waves at Amanda to answer the door, as his arms are full of medicinal goodies. Amanda answers the door in her robe. Patch asks if he came by too early. Amanda: "Not if you're a Marine." Patch says he's "devoured" John's files, and believes that he may be on the brink of a breakthrough, especially after he undergoes Patch's cool new invention -- color therapy. Oh, this ought to be good. Amanda, cranky and groggy, starts making coffee while Patch explains his big plan. Patch shines a projector into Amanda's eyes, and asks her how the light -- which is blue -- makes her feel. Amanda is like, "Uh, it's blue." Patch says it is actually more of a royal lavender, but it's supposed to promote melancholia. He switches the slide. "Rose pink. Now, your honest emotional reaction." Amanda: "Annoyed." Patch is all happy, saying that scarlet stirs up rageful feelings. He thinks that, over time, John could develop an emotional vocabulary. And this is where Amanda kicks Patch out of her house, saying she's done, she's had it, nothing's working, she's tired, and it's over, sir. "Tell Andy I'm done." Patch is sort of in shock, but takes it in stride and goes. Amanda needs to brush her hair.

Abbott House, Amy's room. Amy is very, very busy with some internet research when Ephram walks in and apologizes about canceling their date. Amy says it's all right -- he's just from weak stock. Indeed. Ephram tries to start an actual conversation, but Amy is so very very busy with her very busy important internet research that she ignores every word he says. She finally stops and asks him what he's been doing the past twelve hours. "Feeling pathetic, mostly," he says. Amy tells him that's as it should be. Ephram looks guilty, and asks her how the tree-trimming went. Amy says it was nice: "Dad caroled himself to sleep, Mom got buzzed off the hot toddies, Hannah came by. I was going to call you." Ephram gets all stupidly spazzy here, saying, "Did you? Because...uh...yeah, my phone...was off. From being...sick." Amy's like, "No, actually, I didn't." Heh. Ephram asks if she's mad about something. Amy says no, she's not mad, why should she be? Jesus gay, this is tedious. Ephram says he doesn't know, she just seems mad. Amy says, once again, just in case you dummies in the back didn't understand the first thousand times, that she's JUST REALLY BUSY. Ephram says he's just going to go. Amy's all, "Great, see you later!"

Abbott/Brown office. Treat asks Patch how it went with John. Patch tells Treat that he was unceremoniously terminated. Treat asks what he did. Patch: "What did I do? I hurled myself into her husband's treatment with unrestrained verve!" Treat says that some people don't respond well to hurly-verve. Hee. Patch says that, in the five years he's worked with Amanda, she's never seemed quite so fragile, and whatever the reason, she's had enough. Treat does not, of course, accept this. He says they need a new plan. Patch says that Amanda was quite clear, and Treat should respect her wishes. Treat: "What are you talking about, respect her wishes? I'm not going to let my patient suffer just because I mishandled my relationship with his wife." Uh oh. Patch says that Amanda is a beautiful woman who seems quite strong, but who is really very vulnerable, and susceptible to almost anything...or anyone. Treat tells Patch to just cut to the chase already, so he does. "This is not a dalliance. She's married. To your patient." Treat says nothing has happened. Patch says that's good, because it's not too late. He says he believes that Treat is an honorable man, even though they've disagreed at times, but what he is considering now is just wrong, wrong, wrong, and also, unethical, and furthermore, unforgivable. "You have to stay away from her." Treat looks away in shame. Patch walks out. Treat is totally going to fuck this up.

Ah, hello, new set. It's the Everwood library. Dimples McCutie walks in to return some books. The Central Casting librarian snarls at him to keep it down, then informs him that he has late fees. Scooter apologizes, saying he never really went to the library back in L.A., so he's not so good with the whole book-returning concept. Hollywood doctor no read the hard words! Just then, Amy Abbott pops up from the stacks and asks Scooter if he could possibly help her with something. Jake says sure, tries to make a proper introduction, and Amy is all, "Uh huh, nice, you too, whatever." She asks him if he knows what the "basal ganglion" is. Scooter, to himself: "Not a fan of small talk." He says some medical mumbo-jumbo, then asks her what she's specifically looking at. Amy says she's researching Huntington's Disease. Of course. Scooter says that Huntington's is like the cruise missile of neurodegeneration -- it hits the worst spot possible. Amy asks how it's treated, because she can't find anything on that. Scooter says that's because there really isn't any treatment, then adds, "Maybe if Washington didn't waste so much time arguing the ethics of stem cell research, we'd have a cure by now, but as it stands, we've got nothing." Check out the political commentary, y'all. Scooter goes on to say that if you have it, you're pretty much going to die, and as a bonus, you have a fifty percent chance of passing it on to your children. Oops. While Amy is standing there with her heart breaking, Scooter is all, "Anyhoo, it was super-nice to meet you! Get outside and enjoy this great weather!" I love him. Commercials.

We return to the Brown house, where Ephram is moping around. When Treat asks him what's wrong, he explains the Madison-band-coffee house story. Treat gets all freaked out. "Did you see her? Did you talk to her? She wasn't there? WHEW." Ephram doesn't understand why he even went, as there was no possible good reason for him to be there. He says everything in his life is finally right, but he just keeps pushing, seeing how far he can go before it all falls apart. "What kind of a person does that?" Treat thinks that a curious kind of person does that, but that there are some things he shouldn't waste his time wondering about. Ephram says he can't help it; he feels like his life is a Choose Your Own Adventure book. "If I take a Colorado A&M tour, does that mess up my chances of getting into Juilliard? If I call Madison, does that automatically sabotage my relationship with Amy?" I'd say you're doing just fine with that one on your own, son. Treat most emphatically suggests that Ephram not call Madison. Ephram says the crazy thing is that he wants to. Treat says he understands "mixing it up" if you are unhappy with how life's going, but what he doesn't understand is creating drama just because you're bored. Doctor! Heal thyself! He asks Ephram if he loves Amy. Ephram says he does, of course he does. Treat: "Okay, then don't just say it. Know it. And every time you're just about to do something stupid because of all those temptations...don't forget it. Because losing someone you forgot to appreciate when you had them? Just about the worst feeling in the world. Trust me." Aw. But Treat certainly needs to take his own advice. Ephram gives Treat the number, and says maybe Delia will want to call her or something. He thanks his dad. Treat's like, "You bet."

Nina's. Amy knocks on Hannah's door, and says she doesn't mean to interrupt the "process." Hannah says there is no process -- it's pretty much just endless rambling. Heh. Amy waits a beat and asks, "So do you know? If you have it?" Hannah asks Amy what the hell she's doing. Amy says that she knows there is a test, and you don't even have to be eighteen to take it, and then you know all about how you're going to die or not. Hannah tells Amy that she better not be turning this into one of her "projects." Amy tells Hannah that she's not her project, she's her best friend. "And you're dealing with this unbelievably painful thing all by yourself and there's no reason for it. You don't have to deal with this alone. I want to know what you know; I want to understand." Hannah says she doesn't think this disease is something you ever understand. Amy says that having a test that tells you whether you have it means there's at least potential for a cure. Hannah says potentials are kind of complicated. Amy asks her if she's taken the test. Hannah says she sure hasn't, and she's not going to. Amy is all, "But WHY? You just HAVE to! Don't you want to KNOOOOOW?" Shut up, Amy. Why don't YOU take the damn test? Or, as my daughter would say, why don't you just go ahead and MARRY it? Hannah tells Amy that, the way she was raised, destiny is a given, and what your parents pass down is a symbol of family. "I got my mother's eyes, and her shoulders. And my dad? Maybe he gave me something else. But I don't want to think about that every time I see his picture. I just want to see him. Besides, what difference does it make if I knew? I'd end up in the same place anyway." Amy says at least she'd be prepared. Lord, this girl is relentless. Hannah says she doesn't think anything could prepare her for that. Amy finally reaches the acceptance stage of not being able to run Hannah's life. As she's getting ready to leave, Hannah tells her thank you -- for taking this on, and making her feel less lonely. "It's pretty much the best Christmas present I've ever gotten." Sniff. Amy: "Yeah? So I guess I can just take back the earrings." Yay! Good scene.

Amy heads over to Ephram's studio for some good old-fashioned feel-better sex. Ephram asks if they had plans. Amy says no, all forlorn and weepy. Ephram asks her if she's okay. Amy says no, she's not, actually. Ephram begins immediately to say how sorry he is, and Amy's like, "Sorry for what?" Oh, Ephram, you idgit. Ephram stumbles and mutters and says he didn't want to tell her like this. Amy is like, "Tell me what, Stutters McGee?" Ephram confesses his sins, admitting to lying and not being sick and going to see Madison's band play. Amy: "You went to see Madison?" Ephram: "I didn't see her. She wasn't there, and you have to remember that part! That part is very KEY." Hee. Amy starts getting het up, asking if he wants to get back together with Madison. Ephram says no, of course not, that's the last thing on earth he wants, and he was just being stupid and self-destructive for no reason. Amy doesn't understand why he wouldn't tell her about it before he went. Ephram pulls a total Treat: "You were acting so weird, I thought you knew! But...uh...I mean, that's not why I told you. I told you because it was wrong. So wrong. And I felt like I was lying to you." Nice save. Amy says that he was lying, he did lie, and he only told her because he didn't want to feel guilty anymore -- so not only is he a liar, but he's a selfish liar. Ephram asks her not to leave like this. Amy tells him not to call her, because she can't deal with it right now. And she leaves. As she should. And may I please have her cute green vest.

Hayes House. Treat finds Amanda out in her back yard, drinking a glass of wine -- mmm, wine -- and presumably enjoying the great weather. She says she needs to get a big mean dog to keep all the crazy doctors away. Treat says he needs to talk to her. Amanda: "You really don't. I get it. You get it. God, even Harold gets it." Treat blurts that he doesn't want her to give up on John. Amanda gets the Krazy Anne Heche eyes and growls, "Is that what you came here to say?" Treat says nothing. Amanda tells him to go home, because if he talks to her in that crappy "I'm a doctor" voice one more time, she's going to knee him in the nuts. Hee. She goes inside, and Treat follows, saying he knows he hasn't handled this very well, but one thing he knows for sure is that John is getting better, and there's still a chance. Amanda says she took her chance; she was comfortable there in her little house, with her lonely life of bearable numbness, and then Treat came in with his grand plan and messed it all up. Treat tells her that maybe it's what she needed, because that is no way to live. He asks her why she would want to go back to a life that wasn't any kind of life. Amanda: "Because it was honorable. The day John went, I went with him. Because that was what I was supposed to do. And I got so busy taking care of him and Charlie that I didn't even realize I'd fallen out of love with him. I didn't even think about it, until I met you." Treat tells her she's just confused, that surely she still loves John. Amanda says she's not confused, not the way Treat is. Treat takes a step closer, and says he's not as confused as she thinks he is. Amanda leans in, and says, "How confused do you think I think you are?" And how's THAT for an invitation to sweet loving, because then they kiss. And it's bad and wrong and I kind of like it. The end.