Oh, look, we start the episode in the worst place possible -- Amanda's house, where she and Treat are having an afternoon "date." It's apparently boring Treat, as he claims his last endoscopy was more entertaining. Know what you can do to remedy that, Treat? LEAVE. Treat does not, as we'd all hoped, run very fast out of there. Instead, he decides that he's hungry, and they should get something to eat. Amanda tells him to pick something from one of the take-out menus in her kitchen drawer. Treat pulls too enthusiastically, causing the drawer to fly out of the wall and spill its contents all over the floor. Amanda tells him that she hopes he's more graceful in the operating room, and adds, "Whatever you order, make sure it's fast. Charlie will be home from karate in two hours." Let us all take a moment to vomit. Treat goes looking for the Chinese food menu, which Amanda says is in the den. Amanda bends down to pick up the scattered menus, and finds a business card that's fallen out of the drawer. It reads, "Stephen Sharlet, Attorney, Family Law." As Treat calls from the other room that he can't find the menu he's hunting, Amanda has a flashback.
John, perfectly healthy and not resembling a stroke victim in any way, walks into the kitchen and asks Amanda what she'd like for dinner -- he thought he'd bring home something that night so she wouldn't have to cook. Amanda slides the lawyer's card she was just looking at into the menu drawer, and tells him nastily, "I don't know, John. Seeing as how it's eight-thirty in the morning, I'm not really that focused on dinner." John asks if they can pretend that "last night" didn't happen. Amanda says sure, and last week, and the last six months, if he wants. John's like, "Fine. Forget it, lady. Cook." He starts to walk out, but Amanda calls after him to pick up anything but Chinese, because she's turning into a dumpling. John softens, and suggests that they talk about it again over dinner. John's voice is hot. Poor John. Amanda flashes back to the present. Treat is babbling about food, and stops to asks if she's okay. She says she's fine, and gets up to call in the order. Credits.
High School. Amy, Hannah, Ephram, and Ephram's still-hideous hair walk to their lockers. A good-looking kid walks over and nervously greets Hannah. Hannah greets him, "Hey, Topher!" and Topher says he can't believe Hannah knows his name. Hannah says they have three classes together, of course she does. Topher stands there until he can't take it anymore, and launches into a clearly pre-rehearsed speech about the things he knows that Hannah likes and how he'd like to take her to a poetry reading or a movie or ice skating. Amy stands back and watches with amusement. Ephram finally catches on, and says, "Look, Amy, the Asian-African Alliance Club is having a meeting! Over here." Amy goes down the hall with Ephram to talk about how the Asians and Africans can be allies. Hee. Hannah is so, so embarrassed, but Topher saves her by saying she doesn't have to answer right away, it's an open offer. He is SO cute. Amy and Ephram run back over after Topher leaves, and start gushing immediately. Hannah thanks them for making that more awkward for her, and orders them to shut up and walk. Aw!
Treat calls Amanda from his office and tells her he has a brilliant idea. Amanda says it's not a brilliant idea if you have to say how brilliant it is. Treat says they should have dinner. Amanda: "That's not even a new idea." Heh. Treat clarifies that they should have dinner, together, with their children. He says they need to tell Delia and Charlie about their "friendship" before they find out on their own. Amanda, because she is just as stupid as Treat, thinks this a great idea, as long as they can do it at her house so she gets the home-court advantage. She inexplicably adds, just before they get off the phone, "Charlie really loves his dad." I wish these people would die.
Cut to Nina's house, where Sam is totally whipping Dimples at Twister. Dimples collapses adorably and says it's no fair he lost. He demands a do-over. Nina says maybe after dinner, and tells Sam to go wash up. Dimples asks if he gets to stay for dinner, too. Nina asks him the magic word. Dimples: "Foot rub? No, wait, I know. Spa day." Nina says he can stay. Heh. While they're setting the table, Dimples asks Nina what (Shutup) Carl wanted when he called earlier and heard her yelling. Nina says it was just Carl being Carl -- he has to miss Father-Son day at Sam's school, and Sam was really looking forward to it. Dimples says he could fill in. Nina says that won't be necessary. Dimples asks why not. Nina: "Well, you're not his father, and he's not your son, so there's two reasons." Ouch. Dimples is not deterred; he says these days, with single parents, in vitro fertilization (shout-out!), surrogates, two mommies, three daddies, and everything else, he doesn't really think "Mommy's boyfriend" is going to throw anyone. Nina says she appreciates the offer, but she and Sam will figure it out. Sam calls from the bathroom that he can't do something with the faucet. Nina says she's on her way, but Sam yells, "I want Jake!" Nina gives Dimples a shrug, like, "Go ahead, buddy," and Dimples tells Sam he's on his way. The look on Nina's face says this entire scene is not okay, but I guess we'll just have to wait to find out why.
Abbott House. Amy is picking out clothes for Hannah to borrow for her first date with Topher. Hannah isn't paying enough attention, and Amy tells her she needs a little more enthusiasm. Hannah says she appreciates Amy diving into her fancy section, but she's not even sure if she's going to go on the date. Amy's all, "You HAVE to go! Even if you don't like him, which you do, which you should, because he's exactly who the Yahoo! Personals would choose for you…" Hannah it still not sure, and says it was kind of weird how Topher asked her out, like, in public. Amy says she's just looking for excuses, and she knows it's because of Bright. "You're still waiting for him, aren't you?" Hannah: "Maybe 'waiting' is the wrong word. I prefer 'pining.' Maybe 'longing.'" Hee. Amy says she doesn't have to marry Topher; it's just one date, which amounts to two hours of her life. Hannah says she's just not ready yet, and tells Amy not to hate her. Amy giggles in response. These two are the cutest couple on the show right now, I swear.
Uh-oh. Hayes House, site of Dates With Disaster. Pizza is distributed. Delia and Charlie start to argue immediately. Delia tells Charlie she can't believe he was ever her boyfriend, he's such a jerk. Charlie tells her to get her own pizza and eat it at her own house. Amanda tells Charlie to cut it out, and Charlie asks his mom why Delia and Treat are even there. Treat tells Charlie it was actually his idea -- since he and Amanda have been spending time together lately, he thought it would be nice if they all had dinner. Delia busts out, "Are you dating?" Charlie calls Delia an idiot and says of course they're not dating. Delia says it sure sounds like dating to her. Charlie gets choked up and says, "My mom's married to my dad, which means she's not allowed to date." Delia: "But your dad isn't really awake." Aw, SHIT. Treat and Amanda, who have lost complete control of this situation, and good, because they deserve it, try to get their kids to be nice and apologize to each other. Delia tells Charlie she's sorry, but Charlie jumps up, yells at the Browns to get out of their house, and runs out of the room. Amanda follows him. Delia tells Treat that she didn't mean to make Charlie cry. Treat tells her he knows, and we go to commercials.
We come back to another one of Amanda's flashbacks. John, who has found the attorney's card, confronts Amanda about it. Amanda says she hasn't called. John says he can't believe it. Amanda tells him he's never there. John says he has to take care of mortgage payments, and bills, and their summer house. Amanda puts her head in her hands, and says she just doesn't know who John is anymore. She says she wants the person she married back, the one who was fun and spontaneous and would run off for a week with her at a moment's notice. John says you can't do that with a five-year-old. Amanda says that's the whole point -- that Charlie could do all those things with them. John's all, "Whatever. Do what you want." Amanda flashes back to the present, and if this is supposed to be in any way affecting, uh…it ain't.
Abbott House. Ephram and Bright are each lying on a couch in the Abbott living room, listening to some of that new-fangled rock music. Bright: "You hear that surround sound?" Ephram: "Yeah. Pretty sweet." Amy interrupts this beautiful moment to kill the music and inform Bright that he is completely ruining Hannah's life. Bright asks Amy what he's supposed to do about it. Amy says she doesn't know, but it better be something, because this is all his fault. Bright says he can't help it if he has a way with the ladies. "Just like you can't help it if you're an obsessive, neurotic chick." Ephram says maybe Bright's right, minus the neurotic chick part -- he can't help it if Hannah likes him any more than he can help it that he's a pretty face surrounding an empty shell. Hee. Amy tells Bright that if Hannah doesn't go on this date, and ends up being a crazy cat lady, it's on him. She stomps out. Bright turns the music back on, and says, "The subwoofer. It's like a movie theater, huh?"
Diner. Dimples asks Nina if Sam wants to watch The Incredibles. Nina says it's not out on DVD yet. Dimples: "I'm from L.A. Oscar screeners are as easy to score there as painkillers." When Nina gives him a look, Dimples tells her that self-deprecation is his new thing, and maybe they can all watch the movie together. Nina says she has a better idea -- she'll get Hannah to babysit Sam, and they can go to his place for a big-people date. Dimples likes this idea, and rewards us all with one of those knockout smiles.
Bright knocks on Hannah's door, and tells her that Nina said he could come up. Hannah, who is in long-sleeved pajamas, jumps up and wraps a blanket around herself. Aw. Bright asks her if she's sure she doesn't need another blanket, because he can still see her wrist. Hannah gets all huffy and asks Bright what he's doing there. Bright says he heard about her and Topher. Hannah's like, "Oh my GOD," and throws the blanket over her head. Hee. Bright tells her she doesn't have to be embarrassed. Hannah: "In fact, I do." Bright gently pulls the blanket off Hannah's head, and says he just came over to tell her that he "gets" it. Hannah asks him what he gets. Bright says he's been in her situation before, believe it or not -- back in eighth grade, there was this one girl Lisa who refused to go out with him, and he made a vow that he wouldn't go out with anybody else unless Lisa went out with him first. Hannah is very confused, and says so. Bright cuts right to the chase, and says the most brilliant line ever uttered on this show, and there have been some good ones, people: "I don't want you not going out with Topher just because he's not as good-looking as me." Hannah starts laughing her ass off. She tells Bright that that was really sweet -- totally narcissistic and off-base, but sweet -- but he's not the reason she's not going out with Topher. It's Bright's turn to be confused. "So…what, you just don't like him?" Hannah says actually, she really likes him. Bright asks why she doesn't go out with him, then. Hannah: "Because, if we go out, then we'll have a good time, and we'll probably go out again, and then we will probably fall in love, go to the same college, get married, have kids, and I just can't do any of that." Heh. Bright is by now very, very, very confused. Hannah finally confesses that there's a chance she has Huntington's Disease, but Bright already knows about the test from Amy. Hannah says she's not taking it, because that's just not the way she does things. Bright says when Hannah first told them about all of this, he didn't know if he should bring it up -- "…people don't come to me for real stuff; they come to me for fun. I'm not good with the real stuff." Hannah tells him she doesn't think that's true at all, but her point is, she remembers seeing how guilty her dad felt when he got sick, knowing all her mom was going to have to give up, and she can't do that to someone else. She asks Bright if that makes sense. He says he doesn't know, but it does if she thinks so. Bright, who really should win some sort of award for just pure fucking sweetness and also making me cry, says he should go. Hannah asks him not to tell Amy about this -- she thinks it would be better if Amy kept thinking it were all Bright's fault. Bright says he can do that. "Sleep tight, Hannah." Sniff. Commercials.
Ugh, we come back to Amanda and Treat, trying to figure out what they're going to do. Treat has brought a GameCube game for Charlie. Amanda begs him to tell her he's not that guy, the guy with the yellow Corvette who tries to buy her son's affections. Treat: "I don't have a yellow Corvette." Amanda says her kid's not for sale. Treat says he knows that, and he also knows that Charlie's going to be fine. He says sometimes it just takes kids longer to understand things. Amanda: "Or…it takes them less time to see what we can't." Finally, something that makes a tiny bit of sense comes out of one of these fools' mouths. Treat asks if he's missing something. Amanda says maybe they should quit while they're ahead. Uh, yeah, MAYBE. Treat tells her she can't just walk away over a lousy dinner and a video game. Oh, Treat. You should shut up. Amanda says there's a lot of stuff Treat doesn't know about her. Treat asks her to tell him. Amanda says she's been lying to him, and we cut to…
Dimples! Nina knocks on his door, looking fire-hot in a fabulous red dress. Dimples tells her she's stunning and pulls her inside. Nina asks when the play starts. Dimples says theater always starts at eight, except in Denver, where it starts at seven-thirty, so they should get going. Of course, here is where Nina's phone rings, and whoever is on the other end of the line is going to ruin her date. It's Hannah. Hannah ruins her date. See? We cut over to Nina's house, where Hannah is crouched under a table, nearly in tears. She tells Nina that there's a bird in the house, and the bird is breaking things. Hee. Sam is only making it worse by running around chasing the bird. Hannah tells Nina that she's really sorry, but birds just really freak her out. Amen. My own personal bird hatred is known far and wide. Nina, trying to sound cheerful, tells Hannah it's okay -- she'll be right there. When she gets off the phone, Dimples asks if everything's okay. Nina says there's a bird in her house, and the kids are hiding under a table, so she has to go. Dimples says that shouldn't take long to fix, and they can still make it to the show. Nina says she's sorry, but tonight's just not going to work. Dimples says he'll just go to Nina's house with her, then, and help with the bird. Nina, acting sort of freaky now, says she'll just see him tomorrow. Dimples is like, "Um, you're acting sort of freaky now. What are you talking about? I'll just come with you." Nina finally tells Dimples that she doesn't want him to come with her, she doesn't need his help, and she doesn't want him to come to her house because she doesn't want Sam to get any more confused than he already is. "What happens when it doesn't work out with us? I can't watch Sam face the disappointment of another man walking out on him. I'm sorry." Dimples, whose sad face also includes dimples, which are just as adorable, tells Nina that she said "when," referring to their relationship not working out. "You never really thought it would, did you?" Nina doesn't answer; she just says she has to go, and does.
Hayes House Flashback. Amanda's in the tub listening to classical music. John comes in and asks her if she remembers the time they saw the Chicago Philharmonic perform the song she's listening to. Amanda remembers, she says, because it was the first time that John told her he loved her. John: "And now I'm smothering your spirit -- the very thing I fell in love with." He says he's going to give her what she wants, a divorce. Amanda says she doesn't know if that's what she wants. John says he knows she does, but there is only one thing -- he wants Charlie. Amanda's like, "You…what now?" John tells her that she's free to go, but if she does, he wants Charlie to stay with him, in their house, where he belongs.
Back in the present, Treat's like, "So what? You were thinking of getting a divorce." Amanda says it's not only that, she was thinking of leaving Charlie, too. She doesn't know if she would have, but she considered it. Treat says yes, and instead she gave up the last five years of her life for her family. Amanda: "Because I felt guilty. Don't you get it? Everything I did for John, I did for all the wrong reasons. I'm not the person you thought I was, admit it." Treat says when he came to Everwood almost three years before, he did it out of guilt. "I didn't do it for my children. I barely knew them. It's what Julia wanted, so I did it for her. And now when I look back on it, I think it was probably the smartest decision I ever made." Amanda says she failed John; she knows she did. Treat tells her that he didn't cause his stroke, or make the hole in his heart. Amanda: "Oh, no, no. I just tore it to shreds. I know you don't hate me for this, but I hate me." Oh, Amanda. You're not alone. We hate you, too.
Nina's House. Hannah is cleaning bird poop off her sweater when there's a knock on the door. It's Bright. Hannah sighs, "Oh, for the love of Pete." Bright tells her he wants to take her somewhere. Hannah says she's got bird poop on her. Bright says it doesn't matter, and takes her hand. He leads her out onto the porch and looks up at the sky. Hannah: "Are we getting beamed somewhere?" Heeee. Bright says no, actually, they're there. Hannah can't believe Bright wanted to take her to Nina's front porch. Bright asks her if she remembers what happened there. "You tried to kiss me?" Hannah is mortified. Bright tells her that she's got everybody fooled -- she acts all shy, and like someone who doesn't take chances, but that's not true. "You leaned in and tried to kiss me. You didn't think about it, you just did what you wanted to do. And for a brief second, you saw it." Hannah: "Saw what?" Bright: "A future. Or the possibility of one." HELLO BERLANTI! I HATE YOU, YOU MEAN, MEAN MAN. Bright goes on to say that Hannah called him on his shit, like no other girl in history has ever done, which makes her so cool, and she can't let this not knowing thing stop her from living her life. "Because, God, Hannah, your life is gonna rock. This thing with Topher -- go out with him, don't go out with him, but live your life. None of us know how long we're going to be here. My friend Colin sure as hell didn't. You've got to treat every moment like, like…" Hannah supplies the word for him: "A gift?" Bright thinks this is exactly the right word, and while Hannah and the rest of the world cry like little tiny babies, tells her that she is way too good to waste her life worrying, okay? Hannah nods and says, "Okay." Bright turns to go, then says, "Oh, and one more thing. Don't EVER say that it's unlikely someone's gonna fall in love with you, because they will. They will see all the things I see, and more, and…I don't know. Unlike me, they'll actually deserve you." OH, BRIGHT! Hannah gives her new boyfriend, if she knows what's good for her, a big old happy hug, and we go to the commercials sobbing like fools.
We come back with freshened drinks to the Hayes House. Charlie discovers his new game, and quietly thanks his mom. Amanda tells him not to thank her, to thank Treat. Charlie is clearly torn between hating Treat and getting a new game. Amanda says, "It's okay, you don't have to call him." Charlie tells his mom to thank Treat…"time you see him." Aw. Amanda says she doesn't know if there's going to be a time. Charlie asks why not. Amanda says her relationship with her son is more important than her "friendship" with Treat. Charlie corrects her, "Your more-than-friendship." Damn. I love this kid. Amanda tells him he's right, and if her more-than-friendship with Treat is going to mess things up with them, she's not going to hang around him anymore. Charlie, who hates me and wants to make me cry almost as much as Bright does, tells his mom that she seems a lot happier lately, and asks if it's because of Treat. Amanda says a little bit, yeah. Charlie says softly, "Then I guess that's good." Amanda tells him it's as good as it gets. Charlie goes off to play his game, and Amanda has another flashback. This time it's Charlie's first day of kindergarten. Baby Charlie is the cutest little kid they've ever had on this show. John tells Charlie to run and get his lunchbox, and they'll go to school. After Charlie leaves the room, John asks Amanda if she minds if he takes Charlie to school. Amanda says he didn't give her much choice, now, did he? John: "I could say the same to you." He walks out, and Charlie runs back into the kitchen with his lunchbox. Amanda is just telling him what she's making him for lunch when there's a loud crash in the other room. When John doesn't answer her call asking if he's okay, she goes to see about him. She finds him collapsed on the bathroom floor. Baby Charlie looks on as Amanda gets hysterical.
Cut to the diner, where Dimples tells Nina they've got an emergency -- he's not ready to break up. Nina says she doesn't think that qualifies as an emergency. Dimples says he's realized that this whole thing isn't about him, or even about Sam, it's about Nina being scared. "You're absolutely crazy about me, and it's freaking you out." Hee. Nina says he's glad Dimples's ego is still intact. Dimples says a lot of guys would have fallen for this excuse, but he's too savvy for that. He grabs a coffee pot and starts following Nina around the diner. He tells her that he knows she's worried about Sam, but she's also worried about Nina. "You don't want Sam to get invested in me, because you don't want to get invested in me, because you think I'm going to leave you just like Carl did." Here, Dimples turns to a patron and offers, "Decaf?" AWESOME. Nina tells Dimples she knows his M.O. -- he'll be in Los Angeles before she even realizes he's left. Dimples says Nina's talking about the OLD him, because yes, that guy would have weaved in and weaved out and prayed for as little damage as possible. "But now," our sweet Dimples says, "I want damage, and pain, and all the good stuff that comes along with it." Nina says if damage and pain is the good stuff, she can't wait to hear the bad parts. Heh. Dimples says the only bad part is her giving up before they even have a chance to find out what this thing is. Nina gives him a mean little look, but here's where Dimples gets her. "I want to know if I can fall in love with you, lady. Don't you want to know? Wouldn't it be amazing if that happened?" He tells her you've got to see the movie before you review it, and if they do fail, he can almost guarantee that it'll be his heart smashed all over the pavement, not hers -- and definitely not Sam's. Dimples closes the deal by saying he thinks she's worth the risk. Nina kisses him right there in the middle of the diner. Dimples: "Huh. I thought they'd, you know, applaud or something." ["They did at home. Aw." -- Sars]
Brown House. Treat walks outside and finds Amanda waiting on his porch. She says she's sorry she didn't call earlier, but she needed some time to think, and now she knows what she has to do. Treat nods, and asks her if he can just say thank you before she breaks up with him. Amanda says she isn't there to end things. Treat's like, "You're not?" Amanda says Treat knows all the dark parts about her and still likes her, and she's not about to let that go. GAG. She says that no, the thing she has to do is call that lawyer, and finally divorce John. Treat tries not to act like it, but he's all, "Whoopeeeee!" I hate you people.
Cut to the high school cafeteria. Amy and Ephram find Hannah at a table, reading. Ephram calls Hannah a "vile temptress of doom," and points out Topher -- sitting at a table, sad and alone -- as proof. He says he's going to go talk to him; it's a mitzvah. Hannah looks at Amy for an explanation. Amy: "I don't know. Sometimes he's conveniently Yiddish." Heh. Hannah tells Amy she can't go out that night, because she has to get up early in the morning for an appointment. Amy asks what appointment. Hannah says it's a doctor in Denver; she's going to get the test. "I think I'm ready to know." Amy leans over and hugs her friend. They hug for a long long time, and it's super sweet, and damn you Berlanti, and we fade to black.