Props to Sars, for all the usual reasons (and for letting me rip off her carol-themed nicknames, which she inaugurated last year); to Niki, for letting me pinch-hit on last week's Once & Again; and to gerstens, who has pledged never to read anything I wrote ever again. That sure filled me with the holiday spirit, I tell you what.
Previously on ER: Chen told her mom that her baby's father was black, and her mom clutched her pearls; Weaver claimed that she was straight, and not attracted to Kim; Benton told Kynesha that she couldn't hang around outside Jackie's house, and Kynesha told him she had nowhere to go; Chen told Elizabeth that the latter was pregnant; Dr. Death told Mark that his brain tumour was inoperable (and Wing Chun was cautiously optimistic that Dr. Death was right); Chen told Frank Bacon that he'd fathered her baby, and that she needed his permission to give the baby up for adoption.
Morning in the ER. Haleh and Amira watch a news report on the snow. Kerry "Here We Come a" Weaver"ing" comes in and remarks that it's "freezing" outside. There's more chit-chat about the depth and breadth of the snow (she didn't bother with her car, blah), and I feel them because it's dumped on Toronto twice this week and threatens to do so again, I think, tonight; there are treacherous half-melted puddles everywhere and I still don't have any good winter boots. It's enough to make you want to stay inside all the time...so I mostly have been. But enough about me. Weaver crutches behind the desk and asks John "I Saw Twelve Steps" Carter what he's still doing there; he says there was a five-car pile-up and six of the eight wounded came to County. But he's wearing his suit and holding his coat, so he looks to be on his way out. Weaver exposits about a "temp attending," whom Haleh pronounces "worthless," adding that "Carter, here, had to keep the board running." Which makes him a better ER supervisor than Benton! He's surpassed his mentor! The universe is going to fold in upon itself. Carter sincerely thanks her for the props (without using the word "props," sadly) and asks Weaver what happened to the attending they had last week; Weaver mutters that he got a job in the Bahamas, and Carter says he "knew that guy was too smart for this place." She asks him where she's needed, and he tells her they're slow at the moment, gives Haleh some last-minute orders, and makes to go. Weaver crutches after him and apologizes for putting him on nights "so soon," and further exposits that, "with Mark gone, the schedule's a mess." He philosophically notes that they "all do [their] share of nights," and asks if she's heard from Mark. Weaver says she hasn't: "They got there Tuesday; I didn't want to call. I mean, if it's good news, they'll..." and trails off. I hope she never hears from him. Carter nods and makes for the door again, telling her he'll see her later that day, at 4 PM.
As an unaccompanied acoustic guitar plays "The First Noel," Carter heads out the ambulance bay, past an extra shovelling extremely fake snow.
Carter walks, with his head down, through the dark streets, to the El.
Having apparently just showered, Carter gazes at himself in a foggy bathroom mirror, then walks into his adjoining bedroom, pulls his blackout curtains (the sun having begun to rise), and climbs gratefully into bed, under the thickest damn duvet I've ever seen. Well, maybe the second biggest. You know in The Sound of Music when it's raining on Maria's first night there and all the kids come to her room and tell her what they did to all the other governesses they hated, including putting frogs in their beds, and then they leave and she whips back her covers to make sure there isn't anything there? That thing is folded in half and it's, like, a vertical yard of feathers. When I've watched the movie as an adult, all I ever think is, "Where can I get a duvet that thick? I mean, talk about your Bed, Bath and Beyond!" Anyway, Carter's bed linens look like that. And, of course, no sooner has his head hit the pillow than his pager, on his nightstand, starts chirping. He growls and reluctantly reaches over to check it, then flops back down, defeated.
An OB nurse hangs up the phone and tells Jing-Mei "Deb" Chen that an anaesthesiologist will be there in a couple of minutes. Chen already looks really tired and is sweating a little. Janet "Dr. Amy Aquino" Coburn -- the only obstetrician in the hospital, evidently -- tells her to relax, and reaches south of the border (down Mexico way) to report that Chen is dilated to four centimetres, completely effaced, and at zero station. Chen looks tense. Dr. Aquino and the nurse move away and a smiling Carter knocks at the door. He pokes his head in and asks to come in; Chen exhales gratefully, tearfully thanks him for coming, and tells him that she didn't want to call him and waited as long as she could in order not to wake him. He sits to her bed and clutches her hand, gently assuring her that it's okay and that he's not working. Man, I don't plan to have kids, but this Carter is exactly the kind of person I'd want at my side if I did. He's calm and reassuring and quiet and supportive and...well, cute, also. Dr. Aquino tells Chen that she's going to rupture her membranes and get her started. To distract her, Carter asks when she went into labour, and Chen says it was midnight and that she took a cab to the hospital. Dr. Aquino's done, and Chen allows a little sigh of discomfort and then breaks down, choking, "You know, I thought I could do this myself, but I can't! I can't!" Carter puts his other arm around her shoulders and sweetly tells her that she doesn't have to. See? That's what I'm talking about. She has a contraction and squeezes his hand, breathing through it; Dr. Aquino tells Chen she's doing great, and Carter beams at her proudly, looking very excited to be there with her, considering he's going on no sleep. He asks Chen whether she's taken any birthing classes, and she says she took a Lamaze course. He talks her through it, and she breathes and finally throws her head back and screams, which evidently cues the credits.
Oh, gross. Peter "Good Christian" Benton "Rejoice" and Cleo "While By My Electric Sheep I Watched at Night" Finch sleep all cuddled up to each other in bed. OH MY GOD YOU HATE EACH OTHER. We all see it; why can't you? We can faintly hear glass (or something) breaking, followed by voices. Finch stirs and wakes Benton, telling him to listen. Benton can't (or chooses not to) hear, and then says it's Kynesha "Braids" Nolastname. "Talking to herself?" she crabs, and Benton says she's probably watching TV. Finch leans against him and he whines, "Whaaaat?!" Finch reminds him that he brought Braids there, and that he should go deal with whatever is going on downstairs. He grumbles some more, and then moves to get up.
Downstairs, over a shot of a pair of hands collecting broken glass onto an also-broken picture frame, Braids is saying, "No, you don't know. This girl stay uptight." Braids's Friend points out that she "can't be too uptight" if she's letting Braids stay there by herself, and Braids complains that Finch gets snitty every time Braids wants to turn on a light: "A place this nice, she worried about the electric bill." Braids's Friend non-sequiturs that Finch "sure has straight teeth" (heh), whereupon Benton appears at the foot of the stairs and asks what Braids's Friend is doing there. Braids's Friends offers the non-answer that she's looking at Finch's photographs, which are displayed on a grand piano. The place is nice; Finch must have downloaded Terence Conran's whole website the night she put this pad together. Anyway, Benton treads on the broken glass and angrily asks Braids -- who's just returned with a broom -- the identity of her friend. Braids says her friend's name is Tiny, and that she got locked out. Benton asks Braids whether she went out, and Braids says she didn't. Benton flicks his glance toward the doorway, and then asks Braids whether someone else is wearing her boots. Showing no shame whatever at having been caught so easily in such a blatant lie, Braids drawls that she went out to check on her mom: "Tiny said she came back, was looking for me -- [she] was pretty messed up." Benton asks whether Tiny lives in Braids's building, and, learning that she does, tells her to collect her things so that he can take her home. He adds, all whipped, that Braids had better clean up the glass before Finch gets up. Oh, man. Whatever your problems were with Elizabeth, Benton, at least she didn't run you like Finch does. ["Dude, even Carla doesn't run him like Finch does, and she has grounds." -- Sars] Get out. Run far. Run fast.
And speaking of people who shouldn't be with their current partners, the aforementioned Elizabeth "Come Thou Long-Expected Lawsuit" Corday crosses a square in a big city with honking horns and international flags -- gotta be New York, right? -- to bring Mark "The Last Noel" Greene a cup of coffee. She curtly points out that, now that he's got his coffee, they have to go. Mark doesn't move, and she whines, "I don't want to keep this man waiting; he's jammed us into his schedule." Mark continues staring straight ahead and she follows his gaze to a couple of kids, playing around a lamppost. Elizabeth must have paid a visit to the Dork Floor of Canal Jeans Co., because she's wearing what has got to be the world's only Kangol tam-o'-shanter. And, speaking of headgear, Mark points to the red hat one of the kids is wearing, and says he saw exactly the same one on a kid in Chicago, three weeks ago: "I was buying groceries for Thanksgiving dinner. Now I'm in New York, waiting for a miracle." Elizabeth looks down, fidgeting with her cup, and then hopefully suggests, "Maybe it's a sign!" "Either that, or the Grim Reaper wears a red hat," Mark replies ruefully. First, we all know that the real Grim Reaper wears a lab coat and a bear claw, and second, do not tease me like that, because, if only. Elizabeth crankily says that she didn't come with him "to hear talk like that." He says he thought that was healthy, and she declares that it's not. "I should just stick with denial?" Mark cracks, and she tells him that she prefers "guarded optimism, until Dr. Burke maps the brain and gives [them] his opinion." Mark expresses his non-excitement about "hear[ing] bad news twice" (hey, whether it's "bad" or not depends on your outlook, bub), and Elizabeth points out that if he really believed the news would be bad, he'd have called Rachel by now. Who? Oh, right -- the kid who's already born, and who's probably going through an awkward, Mindy-Cohn-ish adolescence right now. Mark basically says that he doesn't want to tell Rachel about his tumour over the phone, and Elizabeth reminds him that he could have flown to Milwaukee to tell her, but he didn't, because "deep down, [he] really do[es] believe that this surgeon and this technology can help [him]," and that he doesn't want to tell Rachel anything until he knows he'll be all right. Mark counters that he could just be desperate, and with steely resolve, she snaps, "You've seen enough patients in your time overcome illnesses they shouldn't have to understand the importance of a positive outlook. Now, you have to believe it's possible." He leans in and admits, "I think I'm a little nervous." "Well, me too," she replies, and they share a brief, fraternal peck. Mark, with that dumb-ass toque on, you already look like you've been sprung from the cancer ward.
Back in OB, Dr. Aquino is gowning up. The nurse tells Dr. Aquino the baby's heart rate; Chen asks Dr. Aquino whether it's normal, and Dr. Aquino replies that it's "good cardiac activity." Carter jokes that he thought Chen got high honours in OB, and she snorts that she did. Another nurse announces, from the door, that the adoptive parents are there, and asks whether she may show them in. "Yes," says Dr. Aquino, but Chen calls out, "No!" The nurse at the door (one of my favourite Madeleine L'Engle books) reminds Chen that the adoptive parents arranged to be present for the birth; Chen sort of swivels her head dejectedly, and, clearly not having the strength both to expel the baby and explain why she doesn't want strangers around while she does so, appeals to Carter to speak with them. Carter hops to as duty calls.
In the hall, Carter introduces himself to the adoptive parents, James and Linda; he's African-American, and she's of Asian descent (I think someone on the forums said they thought she might be of Korean ancestry, but I might well be on crack). James asks if Carter is the doctor attending, but Carter says he's "a friend of Deb's." "Who?" asks James, and Carter shakes his head and remembers, "Jing-Mei." Clearly suspicious, but trying to be pleasant, Linda tightly asks, "Is there a problem?" Carter is all affable WASPy putting-a-good-face-on-it, and cheerily says, "She's starting to push, the baby's healthy -- could be any minute now." James remarks that they should get in there, but Carter -- still keeping the peace -- says that Chen's "feeling a little overwhelmed." Linda says that Chen had told them they could be present at the birth, and Carter says he knows, but that labour can be demanding, and that Chen needs to focus. Starting to get annoyed, Linda says, "We jumped on a plane and travelled all night from Portland to get here." Carter says he knows, and offers them a seat in the hall. Linda regards him levelly and asks, "Is she changing her mind about giving the baby up for adoption?" Carter emphatically says she isn't, adding that he thinks she might be "a little embarrassed," and that she "needs her privacy." James tries again to assert his and Linda's claim, and Carter promises to bring the baby out as soon as he's born. Carter backs away and heads back into the delivery room; Linda licks her lips, looking like she's been here before, and that it hasn't ended well.
At the desk, Randi sorts through Christmas cards and announces that she heard Chen's having her baby. Weaver tells "Dr." Dave Malucci to examine a patient who's been there since 9 AM, and he blows her off. Randi suggests that they send Chen some flowers, and Weaver tells her not to. Randi further offers to start a pool, but Weaver tells her to leave Chen alone, and to drop it. I think we're to infer from this exchange that Weaver's the only one who knows Chen doesn't plan to keep the baby. Anyway, after braying at Randi, Weaver glances up and sees that Kim "Mitchell" Legaspi has appeared; Weaver greets her, softening her voice. Mitchell's put her hair back in a barrette, but, trust me, I can still tell how bad the ends look. Elizabeth Mitchell, you do not have curly hair. Stop over-processing it; it looks like ribbons on a present that's been crushed in the trunk of a car. They blah about some patient, and Weaver "casually" says that she tried to call Mitchell the other day. Or, rather, she gets as far as "da-" and the rest of the word is cut off by a hiccup. Mitchell giggles; Weaver excuses herself. Mitchell says that her machine's been acting up, and that she needs to get a new one. Weaver says, "I wish I'd known that sooner; I might have gotten you something different." She hands Mitchell a gaily wrapped parcel and wishes her a merry Christmas. Mitchell giggles again, looking like the gift is utterly unexpected, and thanks Weaver. Weaver shyly explains, "I happened across a copy over the weekend and couldn't resist. Hopefully, you don't already have one." Mitchell thanks her again, and asks whether she should open it now. Unlike me, whose response would be, "Yes! Now! I can't wait!" Weaver calmly says, "Or later," and hiccups again. Mitchell giggles again, and suggests that Weaver drink some water upside down, before taking off.
Weaver hiccups again as Benton and Finch cross the screen behind her, bickering about Braids. Finch is annoyed that Braids has been there a week when Benton had promised it would only be one night; Benton says he can't find Braids's mother, and doesn't know what to do. You could call Social Services, since her mother's been on a drug spree for a month and Braids should be in foster care. But she's fifteen, and she doesn't want to. Well, I'm not adopting her, are you? Plus I hate having her in my house, and she shouldn't be bringing friends over, and she's manipulating you. Chastened, Benton practically shuffles his feet and begs as he says he has a lead on another halfway house for Braids. Finch says that Braids only gets two more days until she's out. Benton, puppying along at her heels, insists that he's working on it, to which Finch replies, "Good!" This relationship is giving me hives. Doesn't Benton have his own house to which he could take her? Didn't he keep an apartment even after Jackie started taking care of Braids? Why would he put himself in the position of having to depend on the indulgence of someone who's already broken up with him twice this season? Having said all that, I have to side with Finch on the Braids issue, but it's her own fault for giving in to Benton in the first place.
Malik comes up to give Benton a chart, and as he examines it, he notices a little girl in blue sneak out from under the stairs and steal into what appears to be some kind of storage room. He takes a couple of steps toward the door and seems on the point of investigating when he hears a woman's voice screeching for help and springs into action.
Back by the desk, Weaver asks the woman -- who's cradling a little boy -- what happened, and she says that a dog attacked her son, and that she can't stop the bleeding. Mrs. Dog Boy is played by the same actor I've seen on this one episode of Law & Order that A&E reruns, like, once a week. She plays a girl who'd been taking care of her grandmother, who starves to death at the start of the episode. She then stands trial for manslaughter, and eventually it comes out that the grandmother wanted to die, but was Catholic, and couldn't be buried in consecrated ground if she left any evidence that she'd offed herself, so the girl colluded to help her conceal it. Then she goes to prison. (I didn't think it was worth marking that as a spoiler since I'm pretty sure it's an episode from the Sorvino years.) Anyway, in the time it took me to tell you all that, Benton's reached the kid and tells Mrs. Dog Boy that Dog Boy cut his facial artery. Weaver asks Dog Boy's name, which is Jeff. Weaver continues hiccupping as she says her name. Mrs. Jeff (formerly Mrs. Dog Boy) wails that Jeff had been crying and that now he's stopped. Benton says they need to secure his airway.
In Trauma One, Abby "Lisa" Lockhart assists as they work on Jeff. Mrs. Jeff leans in and generally makes a nuisance of herself. Jeff's facial artery squirts blood as Benton and Weaver argue over whether to intubate first, or control the bleeding first. Mrs. Jeff unhelpfully screams at them to help Jeff; Benton stops the bleeding.
In OB, Chen grunts and sweats and pushes. Carter counts and grips her hand. Dr. Aquino says that one more push should get the kid out, and that she doesn't want to use suction. "I thought you said he was crowning," snarls Chen, and Dr. Aquino says that he is, but that one more push is required. Chen does that thing every pregnant woman on TV and in the movies does: screams, "I can't!" and then pushes and the baby comes out. At least they didn't drag out the delivery for the whole episode, because unless you're involved in the actual process, that shit is boring. ["I'm told by my mother that the actual process itself is fairly boring as well, and that she spent most of her labor with my brother reading a magazine. Then, my mother is kind of a tough crowd. In any case, word." -- Sars] The baby cries, and Chen gasps, "Is it over?" The director -- Jonathan Kaplan this time, not Chu-HACK -- focuses on Chen's face throughout the rest of the scene as the baby wails off-camera; Carter tells her she's doing great, and Chen smiles wearily. Dr. Aquino says that it's a boy, and healthy, and asks Chen if she wants to hold him. Sounding a little surprised at her own answer, Chen says, "No," and her eyes moisten. Dr. Aquino asks her if she's sure, and Chen, swallowing hard, says she is. (Oh, and the captioning has Dr. Aquino calling the time of birth at 10:46 AM, though we don't hear that.)
After the break, Carter and a couple of nurses wheel Chen's bed out of the delivery room and toward a post-partum ward. Chen exhaustedly drawls, "Well, I guess this is more than you bargained for." Carter tells her that she did all the work, and she explains, "No, I mean having to see all this," by which I think she means all the goo and whatnot and -- oh yeah, that person -- that came out of her. Carter chuckles, "It was a blur. Let's just say we're closer now." Chen notes that the baby's appearance surprised him, since she didn't tell him who the father was. Carter admits that he was a little surprised. They wheel past the nursery, where James and Linda are gowned; Linda's holding the baby. Chen asks whether they're the adoptive parents. Carter asks her if she hadn't met them, and Chen says she did, a couple of months ago; evidently they weren't terribly memorable. Carter says that they still want to come in and see Chen. She asks what they did when Carter gave him the baby, and he solemnly says, "They cried." Chen asks him whether they seemed nice, and Carter enthuses that they "seem great." Arriving at the ward, Chen tells Carter he doesn't have to stay, and he says he wants to. She tells him he should go crash in the on-call room until his shift (which is now probably about four hours away); he insists that he doesn't mind staying. The OB nurse, however, is able to change his mind, as she tells Chen, "I'm going to change your pad, then we'll massage your uterus to firm it up a bit." Yeah, Carter agrees that he doesn't want to be around for that. He promises to check on her later, pecks her on the forehead, and leaves. She thanks him very sincerely, and watches through the glass as Linda and James coo at the baby.
In New York, a lab tech with an accent that sounds like Brooklyn by way of Melbourne, Australia explains to Mark that the test he's about to undergo should last about an hour, and that its purpose is to map out the brain's language centers. Wringing her hands, Elizabeth asks when they'll see Dr. Burke, and the tech dismissively says that "Burke's one of the best in the world; he's busy."
In the MRI control room, the tech instructs Mark to remove anything metal he might be wearing. Elizabeth asks the tech to call Dr. Burke and let him know they're here; the tech explains that "he likes to be notified when the renderings are up." "So as not to waste any time with the patients," Elizabeth passive-aggresses. Mark says, "Elizabeth," in a warning tone, and the tech reminds Mark to take off his belt. Mark does, his pants slide down, and I place a quick call to Mitchell because now I am, decidedly and without any ambiguity, a lesbian. Okay, none of that stuff after "belt" actually happened, but if I ever saw Mark bottomless, it most assuredly would. Anyway, Elizabeth seems more nervous than Mark is; she asks to stay in the MRI suite as Mark undergoes the test, to which the tech agrees. For the first test, Mark will be naming objects he'll see projected on goggles. Mark asks, "Do I get to shoot down any aliens?" and the tech smiles briefly as if to say, "Shut up, Baldo."
Back at County, Weaver is assuring Mrs. Jeff that surgeons will do their best to minimize any scars Jeff may have, when Mrs. Jeff abruptly stands up, mother-bear rage in her eyes, and screeches at a woman, "What are you doing here?" The woman, who looks sort of like a low-rent Edie Falco and has a kid about Jeff's age with her, says that she was worried. Mrs. Jeff spits, "He almost died, Mona!" which is a bit of an exaggeration. Mona asks Weaver whether Jeff will be all right, but before she can reply, Mrs. Jeff yells, "You're putting that dog down, Mona!" Mona's son quietly says, "Mom?" Mona tells Mrs. Jeff that the dog in question is usually very sweet. Weaver suggests to both moms that this might not be the best time to discuss the dog's proposed euthanasia, but Mrs. Jeff is having none of it and demands to know what Mona's talking about. Mona declares that Jeff must have provoked the dog in some way, whereupon anyone who's watched a TV show before says, in unison, "Ohhhhh." Mrs. Jeff is clearly not in any disposition to hear any arguments and storms off. Mona's son, all doe-eyed, asks, "Mom? Are they gonna kill Winston?" Mona says she doesn't know; Weaver takes them to chairs.
As Weaver passes the trauma-room door, Benton comes out to say that Jeff is doing well. Rubbing his neck, he makes for the elevator and sighs. Waiting, he apparently remembers what he'd seen before and glances through the screen door of the storage room, where a little girl in blue pyjamas is curled up, hugging her knees. Benton tells her that she's not supposed to be in there, and asks her name, which is Taylor. He tells her to come out, and she says she hurt her foot. Benton says that if she comes out, he can look at it, since he's a doctor. She doesn't move, so the mountain comes to Mohammed. He asks whether she's a patient there, then looks at the bracelet on her wrist and reads that she's supposed to be in the blood bank: "You having a blood transfusion?" Cut to her foot, which has a huge and nasty gash on it, as she says that she doesn't like needles. Benton blah blah bedsidemannercakes. Taylor says that she isn't sick, but that her sister Nicole has leukaemia. Benton jumps to the conclusion that Taylor is donating bone marrow, but she says that she did that when she was little, and that now "they want to take all [her] blood and wash it through a machine." Long story short, Taylor regards herself as so much spare parts for her ailing sister. Benton tells her that he'll fix her foot, and promises that he won't take any of her blood.
In the on-call room, Carter's pager wakes him up. After a moment, he groans and sits up.
In her private room, Chen is dressed in street clothes, waddling painfully around the room, and crossly asking for her shoes. The adoption-agency lady from "The Visit" (I'll call her Bette Meddler) is impatiently telling Chen she didn't want to make Chen feel uncomfortable: "I just wanted you to think about it." Chen, even more crossly, says, "I have thought about it!" Carter opens the door and asks what's up; Chen rushes to him and plaintively tells him she's leaving, and that she needs a ride home. The nurse tells Chen that she can't leave until Dr. Aquino comes, and Chen desperately says that she'll leave against medical advice, if the nurse will just bring her the form. The nurse adds that they keep all post-partum mothers for twenty-four hours, and Chen loopholes, "Well, I'm not a mother." To Carter, apparently, Bette Meddler explains, "I suggested she see the baby." Chen informs Carter that they're leaving, and Carter gently suggests that they want to observe her for a reason, and that she should sit down and relax. Chen, donning her coat, dismissively says that she'll come back for a blood test. Bette Meddler intones, "Don't run away from this, Jing-Mei. It's better for the adoptive parents -- better for you -- if you meet your son, hold him, say goodbye." Sliding up on the bed, Chen admits, "I don't think I can." "'Can' what?" asks Bette. "Say goodbye," Chen concludes. Poor Chen. It must be said that Ming-Na does a really excellent job with this episode -- it's rare that an actor gets to run through so many emotions in a single hour, and she does it so fluidly; it doesn't seem false for a moment.
In New York, Mark is still on the MRI table. The tech tells him that the last test is word fluency; Mark will see images on his goggles and he is to name an action that goes with it (for instance, if he sees a dog, he might say "bark"). Elizabeth watches anxiously as Mark confidently runs through his test, apparently getting all the answers right and not stumbling. A couple of oncologists (a man and a woman; the woman was on for a while as Dylan's father's former mistress/con artist) come in. Both go straight for the screens; Dr. Man asks the tech whether Mark is the "frontal GBM." The tech tells them that not all the renderings are up yet, and Dr. Lady confidently declares, "Well, Burke's not going to want to cut this one out." Our view cuts to the window, so that we can see the tech, the two docs, the tech, and Elizabeth (obviously not seen by either doctor as they came in), who gets up and walks slowly toward the desk. Dr. Man says, "I'll take him," and they bicker over whether Mark's a better candidate for a "carboplatin trial" or a "gamma knife." Dr. Lady is the gamma-knife proponent, and Dr. Man says that the most she can offer is a twelve-month survival, whereas he's seeing up to fourteen with an inter-arterial protocol. Dr. Lady's phone rings, and just before she answers it, she drawls, "Yeah, and what an enjoyable two months it is." Elizabeth is standing just behind and between them, worrying at the collar of her sweater. Dr. Lady books. Dr. Man tells the tech to page him when Mark's final renderings are up, and the tech tells him that Dr. Burke gets the first look. "No, he won't be interested," Dr. Man asserts, on his way out. The tech says Mark's done, and that he'll be right in. Mark asks, "How'd I do?" and, when he doesn't get an answer, asks again. Elizabeth rushes for the microphone and tells him he did "brilliantly." Words really cannot express how little I care whether Mark lives or dies. Unless he dies.
Back at County, Benton and Finch work on Taylor, who asks whether she can go home when they're done. Lily comes in and tells Finch she has a call from Braids: "Something about your car." "My car?!" Finch yelps, and hurries out to the hall, where she picks up the phone. Apparently Braids's story is that the car's "just gone," and that Braids didn't see anyone. You know why she didn't see anyone? Because Rex the Wonder Preemie couldn't see over the wheel. I'm just saying. Wearily, Finch says she'll call the police, and tells Braids to wait by the phone. Benton comes out after her and asks what happened; she tells him, and he sighs, but he doesn't get much chance to defend his close personal friend Braids because Robert "Rocket" Romano appears to chew him out over hijacking Taylor. Benton says that he asked a "Dr. Duhlstrom" to send Taylor's parents down to get her, but Romano says her father's at the airport and her mother is busy with Nicole, "who's puking her guts out from chemo." Benton asks whether anyone's explained the procedure to Taylor, and Romano dismissively says that "they've done a few hundred of these." Benton says that Taylor is feeling scared and "a little used," but Romano's not interested: "You know, the sister's a little scared, too. She's scared of dying. It's not like they're trying to take out a lung." Benton starts to say what's wrong with Taylor's foot, but Romano doesn't care, tells him he'll send down Taylor's mom, but that Taylor has until 2:30 to report for this blood thing. Wah. Whatever.
Carter comes into the nursery, where James and Linda are sitting with the baby and Bette. Linda asks what Chen said, and Carter says that she'll see the baby, but that she doesn't want to. He asks the room at large whether they really want to "force this on her." Oh my god, that baby has more hair as a newborn than I had when I was five. ["Again with the 'my brother' story, I know, but Mr. Stupidhead had wolf-baby hair like that when he first came home. It all fell out in a week." -- Sars] Linda says that since Chen has three days to sign the papers, and that if she doesn't see the baby, she might regret it and change her mind about the adoption. Carter gets it, and says Chen's waiting. Bette suggests that Carter take the baby to Chen, and that she, James and Linda will follow in a few minutes so that Chen can hand the baby back to Linda.
Okay, I'm no social worker, but I can really see where Chen is coming from, not wanting to see the baby at all for fear that her reaction to him would be not to be able to give him up. I think that forcing her to see him when she doesn't want to is likely to have the opposite effect they all seem to think it will...and, sure enough, Chen proves me right. Carter brings the baby in and hands him to Chen. The baby is pretty cute, and very big, and hairy. Chen sobs, when she looks at him, that he's "so beautiful."
Elizabeth and Mark wait in a posh waiting area. Mark paces, and says that he hopes it's like a jury: "The longer they deliberate, the better chance I have of getting off." Elizabeth suggests that the tech is still waiting for Burke, and Mark says he's starting to think that Burke doesn't exist, or that he only meets people he can help. Elizabeth says Mark's name in a chiding tone, and he corrects himself, saying he knows he's supposed to be positive. Mark says he thinks the tech thought Mark was a goner, and Elizabeth says that the tech wasn't qualified to offer a prognosis. Mark replies that most techs can read MRIs better than surgeons -- and then, remembering whom he's with, adds, "Sorry." Clearly tiring of the waiting game, she suggests that they go get something to eat, but Mark doesn't want to. He settles back, and then muses, "I can't believe they call it a tumour board." Distractedly, she says she doesn't know why, because they discuss tumours. Mark says they should come up with something more esoteric: "'You're Completely Boned Board.'" She finally gets in the spirit of a little holiday gallows humour, and offers, "I heard they used to call it the 'Poor Bastard Board,' but too many people were showing up." Mark one-ups her: "Someone told me that they tried the 'Take Me Out Back and Shoot Me Board,'" but that it didn't last because there were too many letters. I weep, because someone's read my Christmas list, and is teasing me with gifts they have no intention of giving me. They share a (too short) moment of silence, and he asks her whether she'll have the baby either way, and without (much) hesitation, she says she will. And she'll love it until the state takes it away, or until it dies from all its congenital defects. Because that baby will be the product of incest. Because they might as well be brother and sister.
At County, Weaver is at the desk, still trying to overcome her hiccups. Malik and Lisa each offer homespun advice, which she's apparently tried. Weaver asks when Luka's coming back, and Lisa says she thinks it's the 26th. Either she totally knows, and she's playing it off like she's not sure, or she really doesn't know, and we're to take this as a clue that they really are just each other's booty calls. I believe it's the former. And...wait a minute. "Back"? "Twenty-sixth"? What the -- he's not going to be in this episode? DAMMIT, I won't be able to call him Luka "Ding Dong Mopily on High" Kovac. Oh, look at that. I just did. Anyway, Lisa exposits that Luka went to Croatia to visit his father. Mitchell comes back upon Weaver's page, and Weaver tells her about Jeff, explaining that she thinks he might need some outpatient therapy. Mitchell's like, cool. Weaver asks her whether she's opened her gift yet, and Mitchell distractedly says that she hasn't. Weaver hiccups again. Hey, are her hiccups supposed to be a sign that she's nervous around Mitchell? Or that she's lying? Like, about her feelings? Yeah, I thought so. I thought so nine pages ago. I was just pretending I didn't. But I did. I got it. Lisa trails behind Mitchell and Weaver, asking if Weaver wants a shot of something for her hiccups, but Weaver declines. She then asks about a patient, and Weaver tells her to make Dr. Dave see him.
Lisa turns on her heel and runs into Carter, rubbing his eyes. Lisa remarks that Carter's there early, and Carter tells her about Chen and the baby. Lisa asks whether he thinks she should go up, and he says Chen doesn't want visitors, but he'll explain why later. He heads for the on-call room, but is stopped by the sound of James calling his name, and the sight of him speed walking toward him. James indignantly gives Carter the latest: "She's breastfeeding! She gave the baby back after seeing him, then we talked for a while, then we went back to the nursery, then the nurse comes in, says she wants to see him again -- she wants to breastfeed!" Carter asks him to slow down, and James explains that the nurse has to give the baby back to Chen if she asks for him. Carter accompanies James back to OB. Wow, Carter's sure getting run down. And yet he's coping, totally drug-free! Those meetings must really work, even if he spends them doing crossword puzzles!
Mitchell examines Jeff as Weaver looks on and hiccups. Jeff says that his dad's "going to kill" him, and that he meant to "put it back without him knowing," and that he "didn't mean to." Get it yet? Mitchell asks what he didn't mean to do, and Jeff says he opened his Christmas present early, because he knew what it was. In unison, Jeff and I conclude, "A BB gun." Sigh. Weaver basically gets Jeff to confirm that he shot at the dog, which provoked him to attack.
In OB, Linda is having kittens over Chen's breastfeeding. Well, she didn't want to see him, and you made her. So WHATEVER. Bette Meddler says that Chen's wish to do so is normal, and that there's no need to panic. Carter looks on, looking like he's been awake since the dawn of humanity. Linda is convinced that Chen will change her mind about giving up the baby, and yells, "Why did we force her to meet him?" Yeah, good question! Bette says, "Linda, she's giving up her child. There's a maternal instinct she can't avoid and shouldn't try to. We'll give her some time and have you rock the baby in front of her." Oh, ouch. I still think they should have skipped right over Chen's seeing him. James asks Bette whether that won't make things even worse, and Bette is confident that it won't: "She needs to know at a very basic level that the baby will be loved." Linda asks Carter to talk to Chen and find out what she's thinking, and Carter, with a sigh, says he'll try. He walks off, and Linda adamantly tells James, "I can't lose another baby." Yeah, we got that.
Carter comes into Chen's room as she nurses the baby and caresses his face. Carter asks what she's doing, and she says that breastfeeding is good for the baby in the first twenty-four hours, since most of what they're getting is "colostrum," which boosts their immune systems. With James and Linda watching anxiously through the door, Carter pulls up a chair and asks Chen whether she's having second thoughts about the adoption. She bites her lip, then regards him and sighs that she's always had second thoughts. Carter asks what changed, and Chen said -- of course -- "I saw his face." See? Why won't you people listen to me?! Chen continues, "I'm being selfish! I have the money to raise him. There's no reason why I can't." Carter closes his eyes in a long blink, and replies, "There's a couple out there who desperately want to raise a child, and you're giving them a great gift." The baby fusses a little and she coos at him before asking, "What happens eighteen years from now? He shows up, looking for an explanation?" Carter says that she should tell him the truth -- that she wanted to provide the best home possible for him. Chen starts to lose her nerve, and presses, "Do I tell him I was a coward? That my bigoted parents were more important to me than he was?" Carter wisely advises her to leave her parents out of it: "If you want to keep the baby, keep the baby. But if you don't, or you can't, then you want to make sure that he goes to somebody who's going to love him -- who's going to want him -- and know that you're not abandoning your baby. You're creating a family." She starts to cry (much as I would, were I her).
Downstairs, Finch tells Benton that Rex burned out the clutch and broke a headlight before bailing out of her car four blocks from her house. Benton tries to tell her that she "lucked out," but somehow she doesn't seem quite convinced. It really says a lot about Michael Michele that the one and only time she's ever been able to muster any emotion on this show is now, talking about her character's car. Finch thinks that Braids took the car out for a joyride, and that her having called to (sort of) own up to it just shows that "she's not completely stupid." Benton's all about forgiveness, but Finch wants Braids at the hospital immediately, or she'll have the cops talk to her.
The elevator doors close upon Finch and Benton wearily rubs his head, some more. A woman comes down the stairs and tells Benton she's Taylor's mom, Melissa Walker. He tells her that Taylor's getting her foot x-rayed to make sure it's not fractured. Melissa doesn't seem especially concerned at the news (and, frankly, I probably wouldn't be either if my other child had been fighting leukaemia), and matter-of-factly asks whether Taylor fought him, since she's scared of hospitals. Benton says she did, and then takes Melissa aside to say that it might be more than just the needles that are upsetting Taylor. Melissa exposits, "The leukopheresis requires a big one in both arms for five hours." Dude. That's fun for a kid, not. Benton says that Taylor thinks her parents only had her to help Nicole. Melissa sighs heavily, as if she's had this conversation many times, and says, "We love both of our daughters. And if you had a child who was dying of leukaemia and there was no bone marrow match, what would you do, huh? We were planning to have more children anyway, but...I am so tired of having to explain this to you people like we did something wrong." Benton flatly says that he was just telling her how Taylor feels, and Melissa defensively says that she knows how Taylor feels, since she's her mother. She repeats that she loves her, twice. Yeah, I'm totally convinced now, Dr. Frankenstein. She asks where Radiology is, and storms off. Benton watches her go, judging her as hard as he can.
Carter and Chen both smile at the baby, and each other. Bette leads in a tentative Linda and James. Chen asks Linda what the baby's name is, and James says it's Michael Alexander. Carter nods approvingly, and Chen greets the baby, "Hey, Michael!" Michael gurgles. Chen holds out the baby, and Linda rushes forward while trying not to appear to be rushing, and rocks him gently, singing "Baby Mine" from Dumbo. Chen holds Carter's hand, crying at the tableau of mother and child, but smiling whenever she gets a glimpse of Michael's face. Seriously, you can see each emotion Chen has in Ming-Na's face. She's really marvelous in this scene.
In the waiting room, Mark stares at fish in an aquarium. He straightens up at the sound of footsteps, and sadly we see him and Elizabeth through the tank. She tells him that she may have to go to trial in the Case of the Sidelined Surfer. Mark says he thought she was going to be able to settle, and she says she did, too. She adds that Rachel called, and that she wants to come out a day early for Christmas. Before Mark can respond, Chris Sarandon comes around the corner and introduces himself as Dr. Burke. Oh, come on. He's apparently a brilliant doctor. He's in New York. They couldn't have called him Dr. McGrath, his name when he was the philandering doctor on Felicity? Rip-off! I won't go into all the medical blah, because who cares? The upshot is that Dr. Burke wants to operate. The procedure will be an "awake craniotomy"; Mark will be "conscious and talking" throughout. Oh, boy. My least and second-least Mark moods. Elizabeth breathes, "Thank god for second opinions." Mark doesn't say anything, probably because he's very very conscious of having soiled his pants in relief. Dr. Burke cockily says that most of the jerks on the tumour board are happy with a twelve-month prognosis, whereas most of the people on his own protocol are "disease-free for twenty-four months and counting." Mark blinks and swallows hard. Dr. Burke suggests that they operate on December 31: "You can ring in the new year with a load off your mind." Ha ha. The Tinkling Piano of Mortality Deferred plunks on the soundtrack. Mark purses his lips and laces his fingers through Elizabeth's.
Goddammit.
I'm still holding out hope that he'll die on the table, for the record.
Carter is, once again, dozing in the on-call room when his pager goes off. He shuts it off, but Randi comes to the door to tell him that a multi-vehicle accident involving a motorcycle and a mini-van (ouch) is coming in.
Apparently Carter got up, because we see him with the biker's gurney, getting the bullet from Doris: "Closed head trauma, altered at the scene." Of course, the biker was not wearing a helmet.
Personnel plop the biker onto a bed in the trauma room. Carter instructs a random nurse to cut the patient's clothes off and determines that he's got brain fluid in his ear. Eesh. He's all scarred, apparently, and he's got Vicodin for pain, Hyzaar for high blood pressure, and Lipitor for high cholesterol, all in his coat. Carter makes a tired joke about bikers' diets, but since he has just cause to make tired jokes, I'll let it pass. Random Nurse sets the drugs on a counter. Lily pokes her head in to say that Weaver needs Carter; it wasn't a mini-van, but a regular van, and about a dozen kids were injured on their way to a Christmas pageant. Carter's on it.
Walking home, Benton and Finch continue arguing about Braids. Benton's primary motive in handling it himself is that he doesn't want Braids to bother Jackie. They get to Finch's stoop, where Braids is sitting in the snow. I think she might have a bruise on her cheek, but it's dark and I can't really tell. She stands up at the sight of them and blurts that she didn't take Finch's car, but she thinks Tiny did, which is why she lied to her, and that she was afraid Finch would kick her out. Finch stares blankly, running a complex diagnostic and finding lost clusters on her hard drive. Under the stairs, Rex snickers, "'Tiny'? Is that my name?"
At the hospital, Carter treats a kid in a really cool partridge costume. I think he's supposed to be Keith. (Look, I'm tired too, all right?) Pam calls him over to see a kid with a head laceration and an "open tib-fib fracture." Oh, ow! The girl is named Elise; her neck hurts. Oh, and she's a "maid a-milking." As Carter guides her bed into a trauma room, she complains that they're missing their play.
At the trauma-room door, Carter discovers that the biker is still in there, with debris from his examination all over the floor. He sends Elise to another trauma room and goes to a cabinet to fetch supplies. Setting a package on the counter, he notices the biker's Vicodin. I brace for a half-hour sequence of cutting to Carter, cutting back to the drugs, cutting to Carter, back to the drugs, Carter's face, a close-up of the prescription label, Carter licking his lips, Rex holding out a couple of pills, Carter, pills, Rex, pills, Carter, at the end of which Carter FINALLY just TAKES THE DAMN PILLS, ALREADY! Instead, Carter notices the pills, and literally three seconds later he snatches the bottle, takes some, and replaces the bottle on the counter. The entire transaction takes less than ten seconds. Thank you. God. Because I imagine that's how it really happens in real life. He takes his package and walks out to the hall.
Carter passes a little lord a-leaping, and gets the bullet on a piper piping from one of those forgettable male paramedics. Carter's not quite as sharp on the Vicodin as he thought, because he asks for the bullet twice more. He licks his teeth a moment, then bolts in the opposite direction, running straight into Weaver. She asks if he's okay, and he says he is, slamming into the bathroom.
The Synthesizer of Mental Tension thrums as Carter enters a stall and induces vomiting, spitting the two pills into the bowl. We are even treated to some BowlCam as he reaches in, pulls out the pills, and cries, briefly, at his slip.
In the hall, Lisa is treating a swan a-swimming when Carter calls her away. In a supply closet, he tells her what happened. She asks if he vomited them up, and by way of answer, he pulls them out of his pocket and sticks them in her hand. Okay, first Luka's away for the holidays. And now Carter presents her with two pills that have not only been somewhere in his digestive system, but in a toilet bowl, as well? Christmas has come early for Lisa! She asks how he signed them out, and he tells her about the biker's bottle. Very rapidly, he tells her he didn't want to do it, but then, there they were. She asks him whether he's going to tell Weaver. He says he can't, and she slowly says, "I think you have to." "Well, then, I'm done," he says ruefully. "Best-case scenario, I'm back in Atlanta! Does it count? It was never in my system." Lisa looks at her watch and says she's off in ten minutes, and they'll go to a meeting. He says that he just started his shift, and she reminds him that he's sick: "You just threw up! Go tell Weaver you have to go home." Carter looks down and pouts that he'd have to be on death's door before she'd let him go, and Lisa emphatically tells him to "go convince her."
As NBC product-places itself, Elizabeth and Mark eat pizza overlooking Rockefeller Plaza. Elizabeth gets him to agree to tell Rachel and Jen about his head. Mark remarks that the pizza tastes the same as it did when he was eight years old. "You lived in New York?" she asks, and Mark said he did for a couple of months, and that his father taught him to skate backwards on the Rockefeller Plaza ice rink. She notes that he'd never told her he'd lived in New York, and he says, "I can't tell you everything. I have to keep you interested." Too late. "You didn't sign up for this, though," he adds. "It's called marriage, Mark," she says. No, it's called incest. And it's against the law. He points out that they're not married yet, and she asks, "Do you really believe that?" He doesn't answer, and she says, "Didn't think so." He looks down and spots another kid in one of those red hats, and she says she guesses that blows his theory. They smile at each other, and she says, "It was a good day." Mark sighs. Me too. In bitterness, at what could have been. Stupid Chris Sarandon. Kill 'im. KILL HIM!
Dr. Dave is just about to leave when Weaver calls him back to cover for Carter. Dr. Dave whines that Carter isn't sick, just tired from staying up with Chen, which Weaver pronounces all the more reason to lend a hand. She hiccups again. She hands him some charts, and Dr. Dave bitches, "This sucks." "Yeah, it does," Weaver agrees mildly. Heh.
In the lounge, Weaver strikes a match and drops it in a glass of water, gulping almost all of it down in one sip. Mitchell walks in mid-guzzle and updates her on a patient. Mitchell asks whether this hiccup cure works, and Weaver throatily says, "I don't know. I'm desperate. Now I'm listening to Randi." She sees that Mitchell's holding a hardcover book to her chest and asks, "Did you like it?" Mitchell, sitting down, says that she did, and that it must have been expensive. (I can't tell what the title is from the spine; the print is too tiny.) Weaver jokes, "Well, what's the point of working like a maniac if you can't spend a little money on your friends." She hiccups again, and Mitchell repeats, "'Friends.' I don't think we're in the same place on this." Weaver asks, "On what? Christmas?" Mitchell explains, "No, us. I don't need any more friends." Instead of saying, "I do!" Weaver says, "Oh. Okay!" She starts choking up a little and adds, "I understand." Mitchell asks, "Do you?" and Weaver sadly admits, "No. No, I like you and I respect you and I thought we were really hitting it off." Mitchell gently says, "Well, that's the problem. You're straight, and I'm not, and I've done this before, and it didn't work out, and I'm not going to do it again." Weaver implores her, "But I'm not asking for that from you! I mean, we're comfortable together, we have a lot in common, we have fun together --" Mitchell grabs the back of Weaver's neck and plants a kiss on her. Weaver kisses back, and even reaches out to touch Mitchell's back, but then realizes what she's doing and pulls back, looking confused. Mitchell sadly says, "That's why I can't be your friend, Kerry." The shot is too tight to tell whether Mitchell takes the book with her or not. Poor Weaver.
In Chen's hospital room, the phone rings. The OB nurse gets it and, at once, she and I tell Chen, "It's your mother." Chen shakes her head, and the nurse tells Dr. Chen Sr. that Chen is sleeping. The OB nurse tells Chen that her mom wants her to call, but before the words are all the way out of her mouth, Chen asks her to put a do-not-disturb on the phone. The plaintive acoustic guitar resumes "The First Noel." Wing out. Season's greetings from me and Rex.