Props to Glark for helping me with the character nicknames this week, and to Sars, who had a much harder row to hoe this week.
Previously on ER: Romano told Benton, "You fired yourself"; Weaver gave Abby a job nursing in the ER; Carter came back to work; Abby kissed Luka; Finch told Benton, "We'll work it out."
Peter "Fired, In the Hole" Benton is in the same house he was in at the end of last week's episode; it's either his place, or Finch's, or they're living together. It's a mystery. Not one I'm especially keen to solve just now. Anyway, Benton's wearing a natty suit and offering to go somewhere for a second interview: "As a matter of fact, I could come in this morning." There's a pause, and Benton reminds whomever he's speaking to, "But you said you were interested. Actually, you said you were very interested." Cleo "3P0" Finch trots down the stairs wearing a t-shirt and track pants -- her pyjamas? -- and crawls over the back of the couch, rubs his back briefly, and kisses him on the cheek as he grumpily hangs up the phone. She offers Benton some breakfast, which he laconically declines. She asks the fairly self-evident question of whether he's going over job applications, and follows up, "I thought you took the position at Loyola." "Withdrawn," snaps Benton. She asks why, and he tersely says, "I don't know, Cleo. Maybe because I took a job somewhere else." She asks him whether he's tried Northwestern or the University of Chicago, and he barks, "What do you think?" I know she's just trying to help in her own binary way, but I can see where he's coming from, too; obviously, if he's trying to get a job in another teaching hospital, wouldn't the local universities be the first place he'd look -- like, duh? Finch gets a bit overheated and yells, "Right now, I think you're being an ass!" Benton stomps toward the door. The fans in Finch's case start up as she switches to whining: "You barely say anything, and when you do, it's rude." Benton flatly says that he talks to her, and Finch pouts, "Not about this. Why don't you let me help you?" Benton shrugs on his coat, muttering that he doesn't her help, he needs a job: "I should have left County when I had the chance." Well, hindsight is 20/20. The odds that Finch won't annoy you, on the other hand, are 20 to 1.
John "Scuttin' for Punishment" Carter shoots hoops in the ambulance bay. Abby "Lisa" Lockhart wanders out, wearing a long, black leather coat (not done up) and crossing her arms under her breasts for warmth. She politely asks him if he's "out for fresh air," and he informs her that there's a "man found down" coming in. Lisa exposits that Weaver and Mark are "finally letting [him] work on traumas," and Carter says it's on the condition that he only work on two patients at a time. Lisa gathers her coat around her as they kvetch about Weaver's rules: "Play by 'em or die by 'em," Lisa snorts. Carter snickers, "Thanks!" and tosses her the basketball, whereupon she lines up a shot while adding, "She didn't exactly ask me if I wanted to be assigned to the ER." Oh, boo freaking hoo. You're not in jail; go back to OB if you don't like it. You're an adult. Plus, we already saw the "previously"s, so don't waste our time. Lisa asks what Carter's supposed to do while he's waiting for labs, and he says he's supposed to catch up on medical journals. "That sucks," offers Lisa. Yes. Being informed about developments in your field -- particularly when people's lives are in the balance -- really "sucks." And you wonder why you were so crap as a med student.
The ambulance pulls in and Carter makes like Geddy Lee rushing over to it. "Dr." Dave Malucci is close on his heels, and confirms that Carter is "with [him] on this one." Doris gives them the bullet: it's a fifty-year-old man found in a park, in full arrest. Dr. Dave comments, "That's one well-fed bum." I guess he's supposed to be fat, but it's hard to tell because of the angle from which they're shooting him, and because he's completely covered -- except his feet -- by one of those red insulated blankets. Lisa wonders how they managed to get ParkBum into the rig, and Doris replies, "Paid a bunch of his buddies five bucks." Heh. Lisa and Dr. Dave look dismayed, but Carter claps his hands and leaps into the rig, anxious to start the healing. And showboating. They go hand in hand, really.
ParkBum's bed rolls into the ER as Doris continues: "Large lac to the occipital scalp; not sure if he was rolled or fell out of his tree." Dr. Dave wants to know what he was doing in a tree, and Lisa suggests, "Maybe he lived in it." Yeah! Maybe it was a political act! Aw, right here in Chicago -- their very own ParkBum Butterfly Hill. Dr. Dave does compressions on ParkBum's chest (they've folded down the top of his blanket) as Carter notes that ParkBum's in asystole. He asks Doris why they didn't intubate ParkBum, and she replies, "His neck is as thick as a power pole! We couldn't find the cords." Carter comments that it was forty degrees out last night, and that ParkBum is hypothermic, but they still might get him back. Dr. Dave mutters, "Oh, yeah? With what? A blowtorch?" No, Carter's thinking of active core re-warming.
In a trauma room, Carter, ParkBum, blah blah blah resuscitationcakes. As he continues doing compressions, Dr. Dave asks Carter whether he knows anyone who plays hockey; Carter doesn't. Dr. Dave explains, "I need an extra guy for a game tonight." What was that? A spiky-haired, socially retarded Chicago doctor who plays hockey in his spare time? Dr. Dave, I knew Billy Kronk. Billy Kronk was a friend of mine. And you, sir, are no Billy Kronk. ["Plus, Billy Kronk was kind of hot. And you, Dr. Dave, are not." -- Sars] Carter says he's busy that night, and Dr. Dave's all, I was asking if you knew anyone. Oh, burn! ParkBum's in v-fib. Lisa says that ParkBum's core temperature is eighty-six degrees. Carter calls for someone to charge the paddles, and Dr. Dave snorts, "Why? He's a frozen dinner!" Carter orders someone to put in two chest tubes on the right and run warm saline through the rapid infuser: "He's not dead until he's warm and dead." Lisa offers to prep for the chest tube, and Carter shocks ParkBum with the paddles. Suddenly, a bird flies past Carter's head, followed by at least ten others; Lisa guesses that they were in ParkBum's coat. Carter tries to continue with the task at hand, but the birds are kind of interfering, despite his best intentions. Carter has to yell at a cringing Dr. Dave to get over to the bed and perform CPR; Dr. Dave replies that ParkBum is brain dead, and Carter's all, "Not until I say so." Carter, dude, I know this is your first trauma since getting back in the saddle, but drop the chalupa.
Credits. R.I.P., ParkBum.
Back from commercials, we get a lasciviously lingering shot of a woman in a showgirl-ish green satin costume standing out in the hall of the ER, grinning phonily, and twirling a baton. Oh, jeebus. Here we go. In the season premiere, it was a crowd of football players and cheerleaders. Last week, it was a crowd of costumed sci-fi conventioneers. This week, it's a crowd of beauty pageant contestants in full talent-competition regalia. As Lisa tells Mark "The Marrying of the" Greene, "A bunch of beauty contestants are in the salon, getting final touches. A worker mixed the wrong chemicals, and...boom." My question is, how much longer can the ER writers sustain the plot device of having large numbers of oddly attired extras descend upon the ER all at once? I predict that in episode six, the foundation will give way at a local convent. In episode seven, the road company of Cats will be warming up on stage when a sandbag falls from the rafters, landing on Macavity and collapsing the floor under several other stars, with Jennyanydots, Skimbleshanks, and Old Deutoronomy among the worst wounded. But things will really heat up during sweeps: no fewer than three hundred participants in a Civil War reenactment are injured when part of the Russian Space Station Mir falls in the field where they're staging the Siege of Vicksburg. (Damn, I should have written those fake spoilers as an Extra and fooled Wanda again. Oh, well.) Mark asks Lisa who among the would-be beauty queens is injured the worst, and Lisa directs him to Audrey Hoffman ("Miss Skokie" -- heh. "Skokie" is a funny word): "She's got lacerations and partial thickness burns on her legs, and smoke inhalation." Audrey looks like Renée Zellweger's blonder, cuter, younger sister, and still has her hair done up in huge rollers; she asks Mark how bad her legs are, and he tells her he wants to check her breathing first. And...then he does so. Audrey tells him that "Miss Tri-State is tonight," and asks again how bad her legs are. They're loosely covered by strips of gauze, on each of which several rather large splotches of blood have soaked through. Mark gingerly lifts the gauze off her right leg, takes a look, and cheerfully assures her that it's "nothing that won't heal." She asks if Mark's saying she's out of the pageant, and he says they'll do everything they can. She sighs and pouts, and Mark tries to get her mind off her disfigured flesh by asking what her talent is; it's "rhythmic dancing, with hoops and ribbons." Well, of course it is.
Yay! Frances Sternhagen's going to be on tonight! Malik slowly pushes a cart behind a lovely young lady puffing into a tube; he fully runs into Haleh, who barks, "Malik, how many times you going to pass by with the same cart?" Heh. Dr. Dave tells Malik about the vacant slot on his hockey team, and the totally busted Malik bitterly snaps, "Do I look like I play hockey?" As he takes off to make another circuit with his cart, Dr. Dave yells after him, "Well, what about your pal in Cards? Big East Indian dude? D'you know if he skates?" Mark overhears and butts in, saying that he played hockey in college and could fill in on Dr. Dave's team "in a pinch."
Dr. Dave all but says, "Whatever." Actually, he says, "Yeah, yeah, sure thing, G," which is almost even less respectful than "whatever" would have been. Dr. Dave chases after Malik and passes Jing-Mei "Deb" Chen, handing her the chart in his hands and really selling the patient: "Cute guy. Curtain Three. Daddy material. Just say thanks." Chen tries to give him back the chart but "Flat-Top" Frank distracts her by saying that her mother's been holding for ten minutes, and not very patiently. Chen implores Frank to tell her mother Chen's with a patient, but Frank primly replies, "Lying might be part of your job description. It's not part of mine." Chen reluctantly picks up the phone and tells "Mommy" that she's "been busy." Kerry "Four-Eyed, Bum-Legged, Flying Purple People Eater" Weaver arrives at the desk wearing the very C.J. Cregg-ish ensemble of an olive-green power pantsuit with a lavender blouse unbuttoned over a white camisole. The suit is nice but it doesn't really go with the lavender blouse, which she has to wear because...oh, never mind. Anyway, she asks Frank for her messages, and he comments that she must have a "power meeting" today; she tells him it's a seminar that she doesn't want to attend, and asks him to make sure she leaves by 6:00. Carter comes up behind her pushing a man in a wheelchair; the patient's saying, "It seemed like a good idea at the time." As he gets closer to the camera, we can see he has a toupee on, rather askew. "Super-glue," Carter informs Weaver. Heh. Weaver starts getting up in his grill that she hopes Super-Glue is "patient one of two." Dr. Dave interjects, "Carter, Birdman still dead?" Okay, whatever, GRENADA. Carter tells Weaver that Super-Glue is actually "patient one of one," and hopefully asks her whether there are any traumas coming in. She dashes his hopes by telling him that she has a guy in Exam Three who cut his hand on a tin can. Ow. Those fuckers hurt.
Benton ambushes a doctor at a posh-looking private hospital. Doctor Private is all "very late," "offered it to someone else," "credentials are excellent," blah blah blah dodgecakes. Benton finally twigs and begs Doctor Private to tell him what Romano said about Benton. Doctor Private carefully allows, "You may have difficulty finding work locally." Well, I, for one, am shocked -- shocked -- that Romano would behave so unprofessionally. Except that I'm totally not, and I'm surprised Benton hasn't already caught Romano breaking into his (or Finch's) house and taking a crap on his living-room carpet, just to hammer the message home.
A Senile Old Dude with a bleeding nose appears behind Weaver and starts yelling at her that it's "eleven-hundred hours" and that he needs to ship out. She gathers that he's waiting for a transfer and tries to steer him gently toward a nurse. He yelps, "We're taking Inchon!" "Inchon?" Weaver repeats, and a passing Frank informs her that it's in Korea, and was the site of a huge battle during the war. Lisa appears to reclaim Senile Old Dude, apologetically telling Weaver that "he's a wanderer." As Lily helps Senile Old Dude into a wheelchair and takes him off, Weaver asks what his story is, and Lisa says he's from a nursing home: "Altered mental status. They said he became combative -- picked a fight, got punched in the nose." The military talk just started a few days ago. His nose isn't broken, but he has a low-grade temperature with no obvious signs of infection. Weaver tells Lisa to order a bunch of tests. Blah bling bling.
Carter irrigates the wound of Tin Can Cut, who's amiably telling Carter, "The damn tab busted off." Carter flatly inquires, "Ever think of using a can opener?" Well, this guy isn't stupid, folks: "Yeah, sure -- then what's the point of having a tab? I started digging around the edges, there..." Carter tells Tin Can Cut that he'll probably need a few stitches, but he's nowhere near finished his engrossing narration: "Of course, that makes the tuna juice leak out, and then it starts getting greasy all over, and then BAM! The knife goes right into my hand." If Tin Can Cut proves to have any Tin Can Kids, I will be really horrified for the human race. Carter isn't paying much attention, because he's busy loading up a syringe with some sweet, sweet candy. But, for the patient, for a change. He tells Tin Can Cut that he's going to numb the area around which he'll be suturing. Carter seems so distracted and twitchy with the needle in his hand that even Tin Can Cut is moved to interrupt his heartbreaking tale of tuna denied to ask, "Are you sure you've done this before?" Lisa walks in just as Carter has the syringe poised for injection, and breezily tells him she's just looking for some I & D kits. She turns around, sees Carter with the needle, and stops dead. Well. Nice expression of confidence in your sponsee, Lisa. Casual, too. Because I wouldn't have noticed that at all. If I were Helen Keller. Which is to say, if I were blind, deaf, and DEAD. And Carter looks guilty, too, which helps exactly not at all. Anyway, she stares at Carter, and he administers the injection, warning Tin Can Cut that he may feel a little burning. He tells Lisa he was thinking of attending "the eight o'clock tonight," and asks if she will join him. "I don't know. Maybe," she offers, distractedly. Again. Shitty sponsor. I mean, I like her and all, and I know that when he asked her to be his sponsor, she tried to refuse, and he basically wouldn't take no for an answer. Still, she took the job, so she should at least pretend to be a tiny bit more committed to it than she is. At this point she looks as if her line might be, "Carter, was it? The eight o'clock what?" She flounces out. Carter sets to his task. Tin Can Cut muses, "You know, the exact same thing happened when I tried to open a carton of milk with a pair of scissors..." Hee! Carter shoots him an unmistakable "you're an idiot" look.
Turns out Dave lied about the "daddy material" patient in Curtain Three; it's actually a sickly little blond kid. His mother -- who played a massage-therapy clinic co-worker of Phoebe's on Friends at least once in the first season -- tells Chen that "the bruises just sort of sprang up overnight," which is why she brought him in. On closer inspection, I can see that the kid has this absolutely terrible white and grey makeup on his face. Sickly's mom adds that Sickly has "Niemann Pick's Type A." (According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, the disease "is an inherited metabolic disorder in which harmful quantities of a fatty substance accumulate in the spleen, liver, lungs, bone marrow, and, in some patients, the brain." In the type that Sickly has, the liver and spleen are enlarged in infancy; patients are also profoundly brain-damaged and seldom live longer than eighteen months. Sickly looks like he's at least three, so he's been bucking the odds for a while.) Anyway, when Chen hears the name of the disease, she blinks a few times, and Mrs. Sickly adds that if Chen isn't familiar with the disease, she has some materials on it (and by "some materials," she means "a really fucking huge binder"). Chen gently tells Mrs. Sickly that she won't need the binder, and, feeling Sickly's abdomen, she reports that his liver and spleen are both enlarged. Sickly's nose is also bleeding a little. Chen says that "a big spleen chews up platelets," which accounts for his bleeding. Sickly asks what they can do, and Chen gives Sickly the kiss of death: "We can make him more comfortable" with a morphine drip. Mrs. Sickly asks whether that will make him unconscious: "Because I want him to be lucid as long as he can be." Chen assures Mrs. Sickly that it will be a very small dose. Mark walks in the room and starts messing around in the background. Mrs. Sickly asks about Sickly's spleen, which Chen said was causing the problem. Chen carefully says, "Well, if it's taken out, that might help stop the bleeding, but you do know your son is end-stage." "Yes..." says Mrs. Sickly tearfully. Chen says that they'll get an ultrasound of Sickly's abdomen, and call for a surgical consult.
Chen walks out of the room, with Mark close on her heels, reminding her, "We usually wait for labs to come back before consulting Surgery." Chen replies, "Don't you have enough to do? Because I don't recall asking for your opinion, Nosy O'Donnell." Well, no. But she should have. She actually says that she knows what the labs are going to say (using many long words). Mark leads the witness: "I thought you said he was end-stage?" "That doesn't mean he can't have surgery," Chen naïvely replies. Mark snits, "I'd think about whether it's appropriate at this point." Mark, for the love of god, a surgeon will say it isn't, so just butt the fuck out.
Luka "If Looks Could Kill" Kovac messes about in the supply closet. Lisa walks in, pauses at the luscious sight of him, then awkwardly says, "Hi." She needs to squeeze past him; he flattens himself against a shelf and she tries to "accidentally" brush her genitals against his. She crosses to the far side of the closet to look for...whatever she came in there to get, and he (being much taller than she) sees a feather and plucks it from the top of her head. How'd you get that. Oh, you know. Awkward. Heh. The Look. Is it raining? I hadn't noticed. More of The Look. Lisa hurries over to the door with her head down, then stops and haltingly asks Luka out. He makes it hard for her, either pretending not to know what she's asking, or actually not knowing what she's asking. She confirms when he asks that she meant they should go out on a date, and he suggests that they go out that night. "Yeah, tonight? That works," says Lisa, aiming for "casual," but ending up somewhere more like "puppy dog," because...it's Luka. She leans in the doorway all happy and excited, and he brushes past her all smirky, and as soon as he's gone she looks up at the ceiling and rolls her eyes at herself. Heh.
Benton walks through the ER and spots Robert "Rocket" Romano inspecting a vending machine. Benton storms over and Romano expresses relief at seeing him, asking Benton to identify which products are lined up on the top rack. Not. Benton angrily addresses him as "Romano," and Romano's all jovial-bluster-while-needling-that-they're-no-longer-colleagues, "Peter! Back for a visit! How are you?" Benton asks Romano how the hell Romano thinks he is, and accuses Romano of "trashing [him] all over town." Romano counters by saying that Benton has "made enemies on every floor" of the hospital: "Why assume that I'm the only person with something negative to say?" Benton says that Romano is preventing him from earning a living, and Romano replies that he's willing to help. He says that Benton's personality sucks, but that he's still a great surgeon: "I am willing to offer you a per-diem position...It has no benefits and even less stature, but it's yours for the asking." Romano smirks expectantly, and Benton replies, "You can kiss my ass." Romano smarms, "I take it that's a 'no'?" But there's more: "You couldn't pay me enough to work for you again, you arrogant little prick," Benton adds, stomping away. Romano calls after him, "Just keep working on those people skills, Peter." Which was kind of funny. Romano never learns. He never evolves. There will never be a day when his heart grows ten sizes and breaks out of the little measuring square. Part of me loves that about him.
After the break, Elizabeth "Mitchell" Mitchell is back. This week, she's made the unfortunate decision to coat both hands with Dippity-Do, work them through her hair until it's all in clumps, then sleep on it. Which is to say, she's working an inexpert curl job that gives up the ghost well before the ends of her hair, leaving them straight while the rest of her head is surrounded in a frizzy blonde nimbus. She hands Weaver a slip of paper and says, "If I...were king...of the foreeeeeeeeest!" She's also wearing a purple shirt. I'm not saying anything. She really says that the labs are back on "Mr. Mellonston," formerly "Senile Old Dude," and adds, glancing at Weaver, "Great colour." Weaver absently futzes with her collar while inspecting the sheet; Mitchell narrates that Mr. Mellonston has "a rip-roaring urinary tract infection." Weaver apologizes for calling Mitchell down "prematurely." Mitchell chattily says, "Happens all the time with nursing-home patients. Take an old guy, give him a bad UTI -- thing you know, he's General MacArthur." Uh, thanks, lady -- see ya. Give a woman a four-episode guest role and she thinks she's freaking Valerie Perrine. Weaver says she called Mr. Mellonston's home and found out they'd already given his bed away. Seeing some kind of action in the curtain area, Weaver crutches over to Audrey (Miss Skokie)'s bed and shoos away a crowd of admirers. Mitchell asks whether Mr. Mellonston has any family who could take him in, and Weaver says that he's "at the mercy of Social Services." Mitchell gets the brain wave that since Mr. Mellonston "talks like a vet," she could try to get him a bed at a VA hospital. Weaver says that would take days, and Mitchell says she knows a caseworker at North Chicago who might be able to pull some strings and get the case transferred today -- would Weaver like that? Hey, maybe if these two become friends, Mitchell will find out what else Weaver likes. Weaver tells Mitchell to try, if she thinks it'll do any good. Chen ambles over and asks if anyone's missing an old man looking for brass cleaner, since he just walked in on a pelvic exam. Uh. Ouch. I'm not even wild about seeing my doctor when I have a pelvic exam; I think if some old dude wandered in babbling about Inchon, I'd be too traumatized ever to have a pelvic exam again.
Weaver wanders the halls calling Mr. Mellonston's name, and passes the elevators just as Benton's getting off. He asks her to hold on; she says she thought he'd left them. He hopefully says that he "could be talked into" coming back to the ER. "As an attending?" she asks, and he suggests that he could be "a liaison to Surgery." Yeah. Because Romano, the Chief of Staff, is totally going to let you make up your own job. Not. He'll maybe give you a job making up beds. Weaver reminds him, "As a surgical resident, you went out of your way to take every procedure away from us." As they talk, she ducks in and out of various rooms looking for Mr. Mellonston. Benton argues, "If you had a surgeon teaching your residents, more procedures would stay here." "How would that work?" Weaver humours him, dryly. Benton says that he could expedite cases to the OR, and Weaver tells him they have surgical residents for that. Benton desperately offers, "I could do scheduling --" "God knows we could use the help," Weaver muses. "Kerry, hire me," Benton begs. Dude! Have some pride, for god's sack! She'll never respect you in the morning. Weaver reminds him of the thing I already said at the start of this paragraph: "Get Romano to pay for you, you've got yourself a job." Of course, Romano chooses this moment to cross their paths, overhears Weaver's last remark, and snips, "Trolling for work, Peter?" OH, BURN! Get a fire extinguisher and a wet blanket for DR. BURNTON.
Romano wanders over to the desk, where he runs into Chen, who paged him. She gives him some background info on Sickly. Romano's all, "Doesn't he have some really rare disease?" She's like, "Uh..." He's all, "Thought so. Bye." She's like, "I really hope you're not the father of my baby." Romano rounds the corner and ends up right in the middle of the Tri-State contestants, doing their hair, painting their toenails, and giggling. Romano asks, of no one in particular, "What the hell is this?" and a passing Mark replies, "Explosion in a hair salon." I think that's my favourite Tragically Hip album. Romano pontificates, "Sad cultural commentary, isn't it? Pursuit of beauty at all costs. [beat] Nice legs, though."
Speaking of legs, Mark's back with Audrey. He hands her a mirror and ministers to her burns. She starts crying, "What am I going to do?" He tells her that they probably won't scar, and she angstily tells him that she can't go on stage looking the way she does. Can't you wear pants. Not in the swimsuit competition, STUPID. My life is ruined. You probably think this is stupid. I'm only doing this for the scholarship. I'm pre-med. I can give you something for the pain. They look worse than they feel. Blah blah blah, whatever, PRINCESS. Mark asks a nearby Malik to call a Miss Pruitt, and Malik is like, "Oh, Miss Pruitt, you mean that --" but Mark cuts him off. He moves on to Dr. Dave, asking whether he'd found anyone. Dr. Dave's all evasive, "For what?" and Mark reminds him, "For hockey tonight." Dr. Dave says a friend of his might play, and adds that they play a pretty rough game. Mark asks if Dr. Dave thinks Mark can't handle it, and I'm like, "No one in the known universe thinks you can handle it, ma'am." Mark tells Dr. Dave that he used to play Varsity, and Dr. Dave says that if his friend can't make it, Mark's in, like, step off, Needy O'Hara!
Carter gloves up and hurries into a trauma room, where Luka's working on a woman with multiple gunshot wounds, one to the chest. They lose the pulse; Carter starts compressions, and Luka says they'll need to crack her chest. Carter remarks that a right-sided gunshot wound is an indication for the sternal saw: "Can I do it?" "time, Carter," says Luka gently, as if Carter'd just asked to go to Disney World. I've always found it unsettling the way that the doctors are always all excited about doing complicated procedures. I'm sure it's partly about saving the life of someone who'd surely die if you didn't intervene. On the other hand, I get the feeling the appeal is of using special gadgets to do something cool, you know? A woman is dying on the table. If what you really want is to get your hands on some exciting technology, go buy a Playstation 2. Carter stops compressions at Luka's instruction and glances at the door, where Mr. Mellonston is watching the proceedings. Luka busts out the sternal saw and...ecch. Weaver comes to find Mr. Mellonston, who's all senile dementiacakes, and takes him back to bed. She tells him that he's lost his bed in his nursing home, but that she's going to try to get him into a VA hospital, to which news he reacts rather violently: "No! No, they won't take me!...I won't go there! I can't go there! I won't!" Weaver calls Malik to come help me, and Mr. Mellonston suddenly grabs Weaver, holds her close, and begs her not to let them take him. Weaver's like...uh. Okay.
Chen walks in on Sickly. His nose has stopped bleeding, which Mrs. Sickly regards as a good sign. She asks Chen whether she found out about surgery, and Chen gently tells her that the surgeon won't operate on Kenneth (formerly Sickly). Mrs. Kenneth is all, "But he's suffering!" Chen points out that Kenneth is barely conscious, and his mom says that's not true -- that Kenneth squeezes her hand and understands her. She grabs Chen's hand, puts Kenneth's in it, and protests that "everything that can be done should be done." Chen is all, "Don't make me touch your terminal kid -- you'll give me bad fetal mojo," but inside; out loud, she says that there's a good chance that an operation would kill Kenneth. (Oh my god! They could...you know.) Mrs. Kenneth nods at her publicist to cue up her Emmy tape, and tearfully declares, "I know what you're thinking. I'm selfish. I'm keeping my son alive for me, not him....He's my child. I want every minute I can with him." Then she stares directly into Chen's eyes and says, "Remember Carol Hathaway this time last year? Well, you're Carol2K. In other words, wait 'til you're a mother. Then you'll know. Get him the surgery!" ["You know, it occurs to me that Chen could solve this problem rather handily by just bringing Luka into the room and having him stand in the doorway for a few minutes." -- Sars]
Back in the trauma room...long story short: Carter makes a good save in a tight situation and saves the woman's life. Do the details really matter? Okay, fine. Beck's suture. Back side of the heart. Exit wound in the left ventricle. Carter stitches it up, they shock her with internal paddles, and she's well enough for surgery. Luka's like, "She lived! Huh. Well, I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling ki-- I mean, 'Carter.'" Luka and Haleh give Carter props. Carter's busting. Then Tin Can Cut comes back, his forearm dangling from the elbow, having had a mishap after using a jigsaw to open his ValPak envelope of coupons. (Not really.)
Weaver gets Mr. Mellonston back in bed; Malik administers ativan. Mitchell knocks on the window, and when Weaver rushes into the hall, Mitchell tells her that when she contacted the VA hospital, she found out that Mr. Mellonston's a deserter; he's been AWOL since 1951. The VA will put him in the brig. Weaver asks if there's anything they can do, and Mitchell replies, "Legally? No. But I'm your Doug Ross, so I'll find a way to beat the system."
Benton enters the office of Elizabeth "First Aid Brit" Corday. She asks what he's doing there, and he asks her, in turn, whether she got any of his messages. Without looking at him, she says she did, but that she's been "incredibly busy." Benton makes a slight "whatever" face at the back of her head, and she guiltily corrects herself: "Uh. I just didn't know what to say." Benton says it's okay, and she says it's not okay that she's been avoiding him for days. She sits down at her desk and very seriously says, "I'm sorry. What Robert did was wrong, and I've told him as much. I just wish there was something I could do." Benton wryly says he didn't exactly expect her to resign in protest, and Elizabeth laughs and says that's a relief. He asks her to put the word out to her contacts at other hospitals that he's looking for work, and she comments that she's surprised he hasn't been "snatched up already." Benton tells her that Romano's had him blackballed, and Elizabeth replies, "He's a horrid little turd, isn't he." She adds that she'd recently spoken with a friend in Philadelphia who'd been looking for someone, but that she didn't think Benton would care to move there. Benton eagerly replies, "At this point, I'm open to anything." Shirley enters and tells Benton that he's needed in the ER. Benton wearily answers that he no longer works at County, and Shirley explains that Weaver called, and that Jackie's in the ER. Elizabeth's like, "Run." Benton's like, "Busted."
In the trauma room, Carter's gunshot victim is stable and ready for transport to Surgery. Haleh takes off to get the drug box and Carter is straightening up and making sure everything's attached when a young woman strides purposefully into the room. She asks Carter, "How is [the patient]?" Carter asks who she is, and she replies, "Her sister." Carter affably says, "She was shot in the chest. She's critical. She needs surgery." He goes on without noticing that the woman has taken her hands out of her pockets, and is holding a gun; she levels it at the patient and discharges three quick shots at close range. Carter yells and ducks, covering his head. The woman drops the gun on the floor and strides back out the way she came in. Haleh, Lily, and Luka appear in the doorway and ask what happened; all the machines hooked up to the patient are beeping and Carter is standing at the head of the bed, somewhat in shock and with blood sprayed across his lab coat. Weaver crutches in last; since Lily, Luka, and Haleh are all occupied with the patient, Weaver anxiously demands to know if Carter's all right. He nods unsteadily and moves aside, angrily (and awkwardly) flicking off his protective glasses with the outside edges of his hands, as if he's momentarily unable to remember how to use his fingers. He slowly moves toward the door as Weaver calls for them to start compressions. Haleh remarks that the girl "must have been a gangbanger." Carter pauses at the door to growl, "You won't get her back. She blew her brains out." Luka's like, "Aaaaaah. That's more like it." Nobody stops what they're doing as Carter staggers out into the hall.
Benton finds Jackie in an exam room. Jesse, her son, is on the bed, being examined by Finch. Jackie, holding Reese, hisses to Benton that Jesse got in a fight; Jesse replies, "You don't know, all right?" Finch passive-aggressively says, "I was surprised when they said that you were here," like, mind your cyber-knitting, Motherboard. Benton curtly says that he had to take care of something, and asks how Jesse is. With this oddly forceful tone, Finch replies that Jesse sustained a superficial laceration above his eye, slight swelling there, but no bony deformity or tenderness. Benton takes Reese from Jackie as he assures her that it's nothing serious. "Told you," snips Jesse. Uh, Jesse, is it? You'd best put that lip back where it belongs before Jackie smacks it clear off your face. Jackie reproachfully informs Benton that Jesse was bleeding pretty badly, and Benton asks Jesse, "Did you hit your head? Pass out?" Jesse replies, "He slammed me into the locker once, all right? That's all." Benton asks Finch whether Jesse had a CT (no), and Jackie anxiously asks whether Benton thinks Jesse needs one. Finch basically says that he doesn't, and Jackie says, "They say with head injuries you can't be too careful," and Finch evenly says, "Jackie? He's fine. He's fine." Finch? What I just told Jesse goes double for you. Of course, in your case, Jackie wouldn't so much slap the lip off your face as she would use a tiny screwdriver to carefully detach it. But the effect would be the same. Benton stares at Finch, who sort of flicks her head toward the door; Benton takes the hint and offers to buy Jackie a cup of coffee. Jackie must really be distraught if she's letting people tell her what to do all over the damn place.
Carter washes up in the bathroom. Luka walks in and asks how Carter's doing. Carter says he's okay. Luka says they found the shooter, and Carter says, "Good." Luka adds that she was only fifteen, and Carter distractedly shakes his head in a "what a world" kind of way. Girl, please. Rex the Wonder Preemie set a guy on fire last week and he's not even zero. Luka suggests that Carter go home; Carter insists that he's all right, but Luka firmly tells him, "Go home. You've probably seen enough trauma for one day." Wow, Goran Visnjic makes Noah Wyle look short. Carter nods, without meeting Luka's eye, and Luka walks toward the door, saying he'll tell Weaver that Carter's leaving. Carter presses his lips together, and nods again.
In the hall, Benton's telling Jackie that Jesse's just being a teenager, and Jackie snaps, "No. He's changing. You're just not around enough to notice anymore." Benton testily asks her what that's supposed to mean, and by way of answer, Jackie says, "He's got a girlfriend now. She's pretty rough." Benton asks if Jackie's tried talking to him, and she says they've tried everything: "Grounding him is a joke. He doesn't care; he goes out anyway. I can't have him locked up. The other day he shoved his father. It took everything Walter had not to --" Dude. He shoved Ving Fucking Rhames? That's a kid who's more than messed up. That's a kid with a death wish. Jackie takes a second to collect herself, and she asks Benton to talk to Jesse: "Maybe he'll listen to you." Benton sighs, and puts his arm around her.
Elsewhere, women (and men) around the globe stick pins in the eyes, lips, and crotches of Lisa-shaped voodoo dolls as she and Luka hook up in the hall on their way out on their date. She's changed out of her scrubs and into a dark grey t-shirt and black chinos, and has a messenger bag across her shoulders. She looks nice. "You look nice," he says. She returns the compliment, though he doesn't, really. I mean, of course, he does, because DNA dictates it, but he really looks like he just took off his lab coat; his hair's kind of greasy, he's all stubbly, and his tie's askew. Anyway. He just had one of his patients get shot to death at close range at the end of his shift, so let's assume that, rather than ditch Lisa entirely, he just decided to skip the shower. He asks her what she had in mind: "Dinner? Movie?" She says she had something more physical in mind. "That's it," says Sars, climbing into Shadow and turning over the first page of her Summit-Chicago AAA TripTik. "I might not be a fifteen-year-old shooter, but I think he'll still remember me," she mutters, grimly tossing her cigarette out the window. "Meeee?" asks Little Joe. "Quiet, you," she snaps. "Haven't you already done enough, ruining the shocks with your big fat ass?" "Meeeee ee?" he persists. "Oh, all right," she relents, tossing him a few french fries. From the backseat, Hobey snarls, "Didn't I tell you not to bring him?" Beside him, Djb wonders aloud, "Am I going to be an accessory to something? Also, will you be able to get me back to New York in time for Roswell?" "Everyone shut up!" she bellows. "I have less than half an hour now to make sure Lisa doesn't mack on my man. Someone is going to die." "I'll be good," says Djb. "Mee," adds Little Joe.
At the desk, Chen is begging someone to perform the surgery on Kenneth. Okay, when she's trying to sell it by saying that it will add "weeks" to his life, she has to know that it's just not going to happen. The call doesn't go well and she hangs up. Mark, eavesdropping again, asks what she's doing. She says she's all but promised Mrs. Kenneth that she'd come through with surgery, and that there are a few more places she can try. Mark says she knows they'll turn her down, adding, "You know, sometimes as much as we like to give it, hope can be cruel." That's damn right. Now, will someone please tell that to Elizabeth so that she ends this farce of an engagement? He walks out from behind the desk, and Dr. Dave tells him to "think fast" (fat chance), using a crutch to shoot a rolled-up tensor bandage at him. He tosses a crutch to Mark, who shoots the bandage right past Dr. Dave, who, frankly, sucks as a goalie. Dr. Dave tells him the game's at 8 PM. Mark beams; his chin recedes and makes his head look even more phallic than usual.
Mr. Mellonston is on his way out. Weaver can't believe that the VA is moving this quickly, and Mitchell explains that they're not; Mitchell got Mr. Mellonston into another nursing home, using a social-security number she got off someone in the morgue. Weaver is shocked -- shocked -- that Mitchell would do such a thing, and Mitchell says she does it all the time. Weaver's all, "La la la la la I can't hear you," until Frank appears to remind her she has to go to her seminar. Mitchell announces that she's going to the same seminar, and offers to save Weaver a seat. On her face. Um, I mean..."just kidding."
Mark leads Miss Pruitt to Audrey's bed, and tells Audrey Miss Pruitt's an "expert cosmetologist." Audrey anxiously asks her whether she can cover the marks, and Miss Pruitt says that she's worked on worse. Audrey turns to Mark and moans, "But I've got open wounds!" He tells her she's on antibiotics and will be fine, but that after the pageant she mustn't apply any more makeup to her legs. She thanks him and he takes off. Haleh recognizes Miss Pruitt as a makeup artist from a funeral home. Ha. Ha? Mark runs into Elizabeth, who reminds him they were supposed to leave half an hour ago to go look at art for the house. He tells her about Dr. Dave's hockey game, and she can't believe he wants to play hockey with Dr. Dave, and says he's never said a word to her about hockey before. They go into the locker room, and she asks Mark whether he's any good. Uh, I'll field that one -- no. No matter what she's talking about. He suggests that she come watch, and find out for herself: "You bring your sweater, you bring your pom poms. I'd be in uniform..." He starts making out with her. Hey, I've got a cheer for you: that's all right, that's okay. You're gonna make me barf someday. She flirtatiously says that she never knew sports had this effect on him, and they make out. Oh, god. Get a room -- preferably on UPN, where I'll never have to look at you.
At Gamma's, Carter slams the shit out of a big punching bag. Gamma herself walks out, hugging her coat around herself, and sternly asks, "Has something happened?" Without interrupting his workout, he says, "No. Why?" She notes that he's home early, and that he never leaves the hospital early. Sarcastically, he asks her, "Someone fax you my schedule?" She patiently tells him that she knows when he left, and how long his shifts are. He lies that it was slow, so they sent him home. She persists, asking whether it's been all right to be back at work, and what he expected. He finally stops punching but still doesn't look at her, and deflects by saying he's hungry, and asking whether she is. He finally glances at her and offers to take her to Dominic's. She takes a deep breath and says, "John. To be honest, I hoped that you would feel so uncomfortable there that you wouldn't want to stay." "I know," he says. "So that I wouldn't have to ask you not to," she adds. "Well, then, don't," he says, and tells her that he'll be changed for dinner in five minutes. Uh, have you budgeted a shower in that itinerary? Because I see you've sweated through a t-shirt and a sweatshirt, so I'm thinking, you should. Gamma stops him and says, "I know your heart is in the right place. I know you enjoy being a doctor. Start a practice! I'm not fighting you on that anymore!" He asks her if they can't just agree to disagree, and she firmly says, "No. There are other ways to help people. You don't have to destroy yourself." "Gamma," he says, but she won't be stopped: "That place nearly killed you, John. It killed your friend. It drove you to drugs." "No, I did that on my own," he corrects her. "You don't owe them anything," she says. "You don't have to prove anything. You have a beautiful spirit -- I've seen them beat that spirit out of you!" Carter struggles to put on a happy face and says, "Gamma. I'm going to be fine. I promise." She finally breaks down, saying, "I wish I could believe you." She goes into the house; he calls her name, but doesn't follow.
Lisa and Luka play foosball and flirt. Aw. They are cute. She beats him, and he tells her that, time, he'll pick the sport: "Something more civilized." Hell yeah -- "time"! Lisa, you go with your bad self! She...oh, hold on -- the phone's ringing. Hello? Oh hey, it's Sars! Where are you? What the -- why are you in Pennsylvania? Do you have the cats with you? Why are you calling me? Oh. All right. ALL RIGHT! I heard you, god. BYE. Um. I take back what I said about "go Lisa." She's a dirty, dirty whore. Anyway, Lisa (the dirty, dirty whore (tm Sars)) asks what Luka had in mind, and he says there's a pool table at his hotel. She's all, "Your hotel?" and he explains he lives in a hotel, he doesn't own it. He lives there as a doctor: "I take care of the tourists, they give me a break on the rent." Lisa (the d,dw) shrugs, and he laughingly protests that living in a hotel is a good deal, between the maid service, the laundry, the amenities (dude, you've convinced me), and he finishes by saying that she should come see it sometime. "Your hotel room," Lisa repeats, because she's a dirty, dirty whore, and he's all, "Yeah. I mean...no. I'd never ask such a thing of a lady." As Sars would interject if she were here, Lisa is no lady. Lisa smiles and kind of rolls her eyes, and he adds, "Especially after just one kiss." They give each other The Look, and then he moves in for Kiss the Seconde. Oh, god, it's the phone again. I'm just going to let that ring. Luka notes, as I just did, that that makes two, and Lisa smiles and shrugs again, and Luka says, "Come on," and for a second Lisa (and the audience) thinks he means "Boom boom boom let's go back to my room," until he clarifies that he means it's time for a foosball rematch. She smiles. Her panties crawl out the bottom of her pant leg and into a nearby church, where they beg for sanctuary.
Benton. Jesse. Your mom says you're bad. She worries about you. You got new friends? Using a condom? Jesse says that Jackie worries unnecessarily, that (as regards the condom issue) he isn't "stupid," and that he's "a man," and his parents can't get used to it. Benton suggests that they would if he treated them with respect: "Sometimes you gotta do what you don't want to do. That's part of being a man." Elizabeth appears in the doorway, clearly very excited. He asks her to wait a minute, and tells Jesse to do what Jackie says. Jesse nods. Aw. He's not bad.
In the hall, Elizabeth tells Benton that the job in Philadelphia is his if he wants it. Benton lets out this bellow of relief as she says he's a full surgical attending on the academic track. He wearily, and gratefully, hugs her, and of course this is the exact moment Finch appears, attempting to activate her jealousy chip, to ask why they're celebrating. Benton tells her that Elizabeth got him a job, and Finch diffidently says that's great, and asks where the job is. Benton says it's at "Hahnemann," and Finch recognizes it as a location in Philadelphia. Elizabeth gives him a slip of paper with a number for Benton to call, and, sensing the bad vibe, takes off. Before Finch can say anything (and, really, there's not much she could say that her big, scary neck cords don't express more eloquently), Benton tells her that he didn't have much of a choice, since he's being blackballed in Chicago. She asks when he'll see her, and he tells her Philadelphia's only an hour from Chicago by plane: "We'll work something out." "I guess we will," she deadpans. Oh, lord. You make a lot of money. He makes a lot of money. Buy a car. Take a train. Deal. Jackie walks between them, carrying Reese, and asks him if he's coming home with her; Benton says he has to make a stop first, and asks her to take Reese home. Jackie agrees, and Benton leans in and does this growling, kissing thing on Reese's neck that makes Reese giggle. Man, Reese is cute. Benton smiles -- because Reese makes him smile -- and turns that smile to the still-frosty Finch. She has no reaction. He tells her he'll call her, and gives her a quick peck on the lips. Lily rushes over and pours warm water on their mouths so that Benton can remove his lips from her icy metal case.
Luka and Lisa walk outside, arguing about the score of the foosball game. He sort of accuses her of cheating, and she calls him a bad sport; he says it's that he can't handle losing to a girl, and then admits that he's joking, and very formally says, "I actually enjoy losing to you, Abby." Aw! Okay, sorry Sars, they are cute. ["Meeee...eee?" -- Little Joe] And unlike Mark & Elizabeth, or Benton & Finch, they actually have a lot of chemistry together. Luka reaches out and takes her hand -- very naturally, in fact -- and tells her that her hands are freezing. He asks if she wants to catch a cab, but she says she's okay: "This is strolling weather in Minnesota." They pass a doorway without seeing a Common Street Thug lurking there; Luka has just finished asking Lisa, "Is that where home is?" when the CST emerges from the shadows and clubs Luka in the back of the head with a pipe. He staggers forward and falls. CST turns around and just when I'm thinking he's about to vamp out, he goes the rather pedestrian route of demanding Lisa's purse. She hesitates out of shock, and he menaces her with the pipe, clutching her by the lapels so that it's actually impossible for her to hand him her purse. Maybe you want to think about workshopping that particular maneuver, Thuggy. As Lisa is frozen in shock, CST is seized from behind and thrown up against a fence. Is it Angel? No, it's the other angel. Of death. (Luka.) Luka throws CST up against the fence again, and then knocks him to the pavement and proceeds to slam his head onto the ground again. And again. And again. Ten times. Each time Luka picks up the thug by his shoulders to throw him down again, we can see a small smear of blood on the ground below his skull -- the smear getting a little bigger with each successive slam. Lisa calls Luka's name several times and finally snaps him out of his...well, murderous rage. Because killing people in a trauma room is fine -- and is, indeed, expected of him -- but killing people on the street is not. Luka stares at Lisa as if he doesn't know her.
Let me take this commercial break to call Sars. Hey, dude. Where are you now? Well, turn around. Trust me, Lisa's not getting any tonight.
Dr. Dave and Mark play hockey. Is this juxtaposed with Luka's vigilantism as a comment on violence in the sport? Oh, who cares. Mark gets slammed up against the boards (heh) and falls into a crumpled ball on the ice. Dr. Dave helps him up. Mark thought this was a no-check league. There's no such thing as a no-check league, says Dr. Dave. "Good to know," says Mark, skating off. Ha. Ha. [filing nails]
In the locker room, Weaver gravely applies lipstick. Hm. Carter trudges in and Weaver expresses surprise to see him back. He bitterly says he still has a couple of hours left on his shift, and she tells him that he'd be better served by taking it easy. He replies by saying that he'll go to a meeting after his shift, if that's okay with her. An ambulance pulls up outside. He adds, "I need to finish." Weaver acquiesces (well, she's leaving, and he's already in his lab coat, so what choice does she have, really?), but tells him to keep it to minor medical. He thanks her, which is not the same as agreeing.
Luka and Lisa accompany CST. He's suffered blunt head trauma (well. As we saw), and had two seizures en route to the hospital. Luka is also bleeding where CST struck him with the pipe. Elizabeth tells him to go have his head seen to, and not to work on CST; she calls for Carter, who briefly tries to demur, but she overrules him. Lisa and Luka stand aside, watching anxiously. Carter trots in, sees Lisa standing in the corner with Luka; both actors speak volumes with their expressions: Lisa looks caught out and actually recoils a little at the site of Carter, while he shoots her a witheringly reproachful look in return. CST seizes again. A random nurse closes the side door; from the adjacent trauma room, Luka and Lisa watch nervously.
Benton shows up at a restaurant kitchen. He calls Carla's name. She's chatting with a chef (at first I typed "priest" instead of "chef." Why? Perhaps because it's 6:31 AM and I haven't been to sleep yet) with her back to the camera, and at the sound of her name she turns and...whoa. For a rather small woman, those are two huge breasts she has. I'm not exactly what you'd call a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee myself, but Lisa Nicole Carson looks like she has a conjoined twin attached at her chest. I have to assume Benton's stopped by to perform emergency surgery on Carla II: Electric Boobaloo. Anyway, Carla's face falls when she sees it's Benton. He asks to talk, and she warningly tells him that it's really busy. He assures her it'll only take a second and joins her in the kitchen. She tells him that the hospital called and told her Reese could stay until the end of the month; for those of us who are like, "huh?" Carla further exposits that it'll be hard to find a daycare Reese likes as much. Oh, right.
Anyway, this means that even though Benton hasn't (as far as we know) told Jackie that he lost his job, he has told Carla. I guess their relationship has improved a little if he could trust her not to tell Jackie his secret. Benton tells Carla that he just got a job in Philadelphia, and she says, "Really? Good for you!" with what seems like genuine congratulation. He tells her that all that's left is to work out Reese's visitation schedule: "Maybe he could fly down every other weekend, or something." Um, yeah. Hey, maybe you could just get him one of those flying pigs and then Reese could ride on its back. How would that be? Because after the custody fight y'all went through last year, I don't think Carla's going to be all that willing to do you a solid on this one. And I'm right. Carla's face falls again, and she coolly replies, "I'm sorry. You're not really suggesting that I put my son on a plane by himself, are you?" Benton reminds her that they have joint custody, and she reminds him, "In. Chicago." Benton tells her that he already took the job, and Carla sniffs, "Mm. Wish that had worked for me when I wanted to move." Benton tells her that was Germany: "That was nine hours away. That was completely different." Carla retorts, "No. It is completely the same." He asks her if this is about payback, and she tells him that it's about their agreement: "Now, either you stay local, or you give up custody." Benton sputters, "I can't find a decent position here!" Carla sarcastically replies, "Oh, that's right. You have your career to think of. The rest of us just have jobs." Struggling to maintain his composure, Benton tells Carla, "This is the only way for me to keep the momentum going." "Yes. And Germany was Roger's," Carla chirps. Benton, desperate: "Look, Carla, I'm asking you not to do this." Ingenuously, Carla coos, "I'm not doing anything. I'm just playing by your rules." Benton stares at her a moment, then picks up a plate of food and hurls it against her refrigerator door before storming out. I hate to disagree with Benton, but Carla's right. It is the same thing, and he did sign their custodial agreement. It sucks, but the law is often like that.
Luka stares at CST's trauma room. Lisa steals up behind him and looks at the back of his head (as best she can, from her diminutive height; really, she just feels the cut enough to make Luka gasp in surprise and pain). She tells him the gash is pretty deep, and that he should get sutures; he curtly replies, "Okay." "Someone should sew it up, Luka," and he's like, "Oh! Is that what 'suturing' means? You know me and my language barrier. And anyway, right now I'm a little occupied waiting to see whether I've just committed manslaughter, so you know what, Lisa? My own suturing is going to have to wait." Only he says it in a lot fewer words. And those words are, "I'm okay." A detective comes in and asks to speak with Luka. Luka walks away from the window and Lisa takes up his vigil, eavesdropping as Luka tells the detective what happened.
CST starts seizing some more. Elizabeth examines the x-ray and says his lateral neck looks good. Carter asks for more "kerlex" since "he's soaked through these"; he withdraws a length of gauze from under CST's head and, sure enough, it's plenty bloody. They remove his neck brace. He's herniating. Things are beeping. CST is bleeding. Elizabeth is yelling. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. CST loses a pulse. There are too many traumas on CST, and not enough hands.
Haleh brushes past Lisa into the trauma room, where Luka is slowly telling the detective, "I didn't see him coming." The detective asks what happened after CST hit him from behind, and Luka says, "I went down." The detective asks whether CST took his wallet, and Luka says he did. "And you felt your life was in danger," the detective leads him. "Mine and hers," Luka agrees, briefly looking at Lisa. The detective asks whether CST threatened to hurt him, and Luka says, "I'm not sure." The detective -- clearly trying to make a case for self-defense -- asks, "Did he say, 'Gimme your money or I'll kill you'? Anything like that?" Luka wearily says, "He had a pipe. He was going after Abby." The detective pauses a moment and asks Lisa, "And you can corroborate this?" She says she can. The detective says, "Let's wait and see what happens. Seems pretty clear it was self-defense. Shouldn't be a problem, doc." Lisa looks at Luka, who can't seem to meet her eye. Haleh crosses back into CST's trauma room; as the door swings, the cacophony of beeping machines gets louder, and then muted, again. Luka resumes his post at the door. Lisa stands with her back to him, and her arms crossed.
In CST's trauma room, Elizabeth saws his head open. She can't find the source of the bleeding. CST loses his rhythm, then gets it back. Elizabeth orders a drug that Carter says will induce a coma; Elizabeth says, "It's either that or watch him die."
Lisa brings Finch to suture Luka's head. He tells her his injury is superficial. Finch asks whether he lost consciousness, and when he doesn't answer, Lisa says, "For a moment, yeah." Finch gently asks to fix him up, and he turns partway toward them, without looking at either of them, and shrugs Finch off with a curt "no." She asks whether he has a headache, and he yells, "Leave me alone!" Finch and Lisa stare at him, stung, and he lowers his voice again to assure them (unconvincingly) that he's fine. Lisa sucks her cheeks.
Peter strolls past a mentoring poster (a sign of more Jesse to come?) and enters Romano's office. Romano looks as if he's been expecting to see him, and gestures for Benton to enter. Not pictured: the four shots of Wild Turkey Benton needed to knock back so that his pride wouldn't be such a daunting lump for him to swallow. Also not pictured: the countless lawyers of the greater Chicago area who would have been delighted to represent Benton in a wrongful dismissal case if only Benton had picked up a damn phone.
CST continues to die. Lisa and Luka continue to watch. CST's been down for forty-five minutes. Elizabeth holds Luka's gaze, and removes her yellow gown, saying nothing to him. Carter stares even more reproachfully at Lisa. Lisa and Luka remain on the wrong side of the trauma-room doors. Lisa reaches out a hand and rests it lightly on Luka's back; he sidles away and leaves the room. She follows him, calling his name and asking him to wait; he hurries out to the ambulance bay (to vomit, I would imagine), and the automatic doors glide closed on Lisa's mournful face.
Is this storyline going to drag on? Because I really don't need to see Carter and Luka in a damn race to see who can be more traumatized. What I want to see is [Sars, look away] Luka gettin' some. ["Hey, for the record, I don't mind if Luka's getting some. I just don't want him to get it off of Whine Daly, that's all." -- Sars]
week: Benton's back in the ER doing regular ER work. Um. Luka? Carter? Not mentioned at all. I hate CTV.