Props to Sars, to Nicole, and to John Cullum, whose performance has made this increasingly annoying show bearable these past few months.
Anti-props to CTV, which co-airs ER in Canada, and faked me out last night by not showing ER at all and letting Celebrity goddamn cocksucking Millionaire run long. As a result, I missed the very first scene of the show, which my esteemed colleague Sars will fill in for me.
["David 'Holling' Greene calls Mark 'Kojak' Greene into the living room; he's cold. Mark puts a blanket over him and comments that Holling needs more oxygen. The customary intergenerational bickering; then Holling expresses the desire for a Bloody Mary. Word to that, Holling. Holling remembers that Ruth used to make Bloodies for him. Mark doesn't think that's a good idea, but Holling gives him a level stare and asks if Mark thinks a Bloody Mary would kill him. Mark returns the level stare, then asks if Holling wants Worcestershire sauce in his Bloody. Holling says no. Back to you, Wing Chun." -- Sars] Thanks, dude.
In his room at Gamma's, "Stone Cold" John Carter works his arms with free weights, which he clicks together with each rep. Gamma knocks, and enters, asking what the racket is, and he explains that he's trying to get back into shape. She asks how he slept. "Like a baby," he says. She asks if he wants toast and coffee for breakfast, and he pauses and replies, "I feel like pancakes today." Me too! She pretty much says, "Coming right up," and leaves. Gamma, I know you love your Dr. John, but really, I'd rather see you doing something more interesting than re-creating the role of Flo from Alice.
In the lounge, Carol "Ma Whiner" Hathaway opens her locker and prepares to put her coat in it as Luka "Shell" Kovac enters behind her. Keeping one arm behind his back, he wishes her a good morning, then asks if everything's all right: "I only got your answering machine the past few days." She apologizes, explaining that "it's been crazy," and that Tess has a bad cold, the kitchen's being repainted, and they've been staying at Carol's mom's. Dude, one story is an excuse; three is a lie -- and an obvious one. As she talks, she fusses with her coat and bag and studiously avoids eye contact, proving that she more than Carter really needs a psych consult. Luka skips neatly over her roadblock of excuses, whips his arm out from behind his back, and proffers a bouquet of fresh flowers, wishing her a "happy birthday." For a long moment, she regards the bouquet as if it were a bear trap, and then takes it, apprehensively marvelling, "Luka, they're beautiful." "I picked them from my garden," he explains, which only seems to alarm her more, so he goes on, "From my neighbour's garden, actually." In a zombie-fied Nurses of the Corn voice, she asks, "How did you know it was my birthday?" "I have my ways," he says seriously, and then smiles, looking rather pleased with himself. Carol's reaction is a continuing blank stare. He starts to move in for a kiss, and she sort of keeps her chin down but then looks like she's recovered her senses -- which is to say, she starts to move toward him, too -- until Conni comes in and Carol and Luka spring apart. Conni calls Luka to help with an incoming GSW, and he says, "See you later," and books. "'Kay," Carol squeaks, and then as soon as his back is turned, throws back her head and sighs loudly. Oh, POOR CAROL. What a burden it must be to be you, with one gorgeous doctor on the west coast pining for you, and another even MORE gorgeous doctor acting like a puppy at your feet. How do you find the strength to get up in the morning? Lake Michigan is not capacious enough to contain the tears I've cried for you. Truly, you are a hero for our time -- nay, for all time.
Mmm, Russell Crowe in a leather skirt. I can dig it.
Carter strolls in behind the desk in a rather natty suit and is instantly rewarded by Chuny, who tells him he's "looking sharp." She asks where he's been, and he says he's been checking out condos in Lincoln Park. "Ooh, very trendy," says Chuny. "And expensive," adds a passing Amira. Woo! Amira's back! Sars and I were just discussing her, like, two days ago. I like Randi in small doses, but she's a lot to take week after week. Thank you, writers, for leavening the Randi with a little Amira. "Too many damn yuppies if you ask me," mutters "Dr." Dave Malucci. "You're a yuppie, Dave," says Carter. "No way," protests Dr. Dave. "Young Urban Professional -- that's you," Chuny tells him, and walks out just as Kerry "Kerry, Why You Buggin'?" Weaver comes in. "Hey, Chief -- am I a yuppie?" Dr. Dave asks her. "No, but you will be when you grow up," Weaver drawls. Ooh, burn! Get Dr. Dave a skin-graft 'cause he just got a third-degree buuuuuuuuurn! Weaver sets down a stack of charts and announces that Mark won't be in again tonight, and that she needs someone to cover his shift again. Carter volunteers, saying that since he's the senior resident, it's his responsibility. Weaver thanks him, and he takes off. Amira tells Weaver that her EMS meeting's been changed to 10 AM. Weaver asks her where Carol is, and Amira points her out, pulling a cart into a curtain area. Weaver calls her name but Carol doesn't hear her (or is ignoring her), so Weaver crutches in after her and says, "I need the paramedic compliance data on aspirin in chest pain." Carol briskly kisses her off: "Okay, I'll get to it." Weaver does a double-take, and crutches back in, saying, "I put a memo in your box last week, you didn't see it?" This pulls Carol up short, and she apologetically says she must have forgotten. Weaver groans, "The meeting's in two hours. I know it's a lot, but I need you to compile the data." "I'll get to it," Carol promises. "You'll do it?" Weaver asks. "I will do it," Carol replies emphatically. Weaver nods and crutches out. Gee, do you think Carol will do it?
Mark carries a tray of french toast into the living room and sets it before Holling, who is lying in bed looking...well, really, really bad. He's very pale -- even his hair looks pale -- his skin has a very unhealthy waxy sheen to it, and his eyes and mouth are slack. As Mark moves the bed up to put Holling in a sitting position, he asks whether Holling wants the TV on. "No," Holling growls. Mark asks him to lean forward so that he can slide a pillow behind Holling's back, and Holling groans at the effort it requires. Mark asks whether Holling is in pain, and Holling says he is when he takes a breath. Um. Whoa. Mark says it's probably pleurisy from his recent pneumonia, and prepares a syringe with Toradol. Mark asks Holling whether he's hungry, and Holling moans, "NO," in a tone that suggests that they've already had this exchange several times. Mark tries to jolly him into eating, even putting a bite of toast on a fork and holding it in front of Holling's mouth. Holling takes the fork, bites a tiny crumb off the chunk of french toast, and chews it joylessly. Mmm, french toast. I really have to start eating breakfast before I try to write these damn things.
Back at the hospital, Dr. Dave, Conni, and Abby "Lisa" Lockhart work on another older gentleman who's having trouble breathing. As Dr. Dave and Lisa go over what she's already done to treat him, Conni yells out that his pulse ox is dropping, so Dr. Dave tells her to prepare to intubate the patient, and then explains to the patient himself what they're going to do. "Anything to help me breathe," the patient manages, and settles back down on the bed. Dr. Dave tells Lisa, "This one's a little tough," and asks, "You ever done a C-O-P-Der before?" Lisa says she's never tubed anybody, so Dr. Dave tells her "it's time to step up to the plate," but doesn't add, "How about a scrunchy, there, slugger?" As they get into position, Carter appears in the hall with a TV on an a/v cart and yells, "I heard you guys had a patient in respiratory distress?" Wearily, Dr. Dave tells Carter, "We're on top of it," and that he was just about to take Lisa through an intubation. Carter brightly replies, "Good. Then we can try this new airway cam." Carter puts a little hat thingy on Lisa's head that has a camera mounted right between her eyes, and explains that as she works, the camera will display what she sees on the TV screen. Dr. Dave pronounces the device "cool," and hands Lisa the metal guide. When she looks at him, his image appears on the screen-within-the-screen, and he chirps, "Hi, Mom!" Okay, that was kind of cute. Carter gives Dr. Dave an order, and Dr. Dave makes a face, presumably in response to the way Carter has completely shanghai-ed Dr. Dave's own patient.
"Everything looks okay," says Elizabeth "Rip" Corday to a very pale patient lying on her side. "No bleeding?" the patient mumbles. Elizabeth confirms that there is no bleeding, and the patient (let's call her Wicked Pale Girl) breathes, "Good, now I can go home." Elizabeth contradicts her: "You vomited blood. You fainted at work. The IV needs to stay in a while longer." WPG protests, "But you said I could leave if everything checked out!" Elizabeth says, "Yes, but your potassium level's low; we need to replenish it." At this news, Lydia leans in and asks, "Where'd you put the lab slip?" Elizabeth says, "Uh, the printer's down; I got it off the computer." Lydia is obviously unconvinced, but doesn't say anything. WPG snots, "You've wasted enough of my time already. Nurse, get my clothes." She sits up and then wobbles. All medical personnel in the room rush to her aid. Elizabeth asks what's wrong, and WPG says she's just a little dizzy from sitting up too quickly. Elizabeth tells her she has a weak pulse, which means she's dehydrated. She indicates a bag of (I presume) saline and says that WPG can go when the fluid runs in. WPG wanly agrees, and lies back down, adding, "But that's it -- then I'm out of here." Elizabeth says, "Okay," and asks Lydia to "assist [her] in making sure all of Claire's discharge papers are in order." Lydia says, "Sure," and follows her out. The camera lingers on Claire (formerly WPG), who does look thin, but she also looks like she's wearing about a pound of Kabuki make-up and some kind of lavendar blusher meant to make her cheeks look hollow. However, I watched Friends the night this aired, too, and either Jennifer Aniston or Courteney Cox Arquette makes this girl look like Mother Love -- I'm just sayin'.
As they walk away from Claire's bed, Elizabeth enumerates for Lydia secondary symptoms she's observed: "Her gag is absent. Her tooth enamel's eroded. She's severely malnourished. She's anorectic and bulimic and I don't want her leaving." "What can we do?" Lydia asks. "We'll get psych down here to put a hold on her," Elizabeth replies.
Luka pushes a gurney containing a patient who was a victim of "hammer versus scalp." Weaver crutches along beside and asks whether Luka's seen Carol, and he says he hasn't "since early this morning." Weaver tells him Carol's supposed to be working on Weaver's paramedic data. Luka asks Weaver if she's paged Carol. "Twice," Weaver replies. Luka offers, "It's her birthday. I bet some of the nurses took her to Doc Magoo's for breakfast." "I certainly hope not," Weaver snaps. Dude, I know you put the memo in her box a week ago, but you could have followed it up with her before today.
Back with Wheezy Old Man, Lisa is getting ready to intubate. Carter walks her through it. Dr. Dave advises her to "slide that baby down," but Carter tells her to go slowly. The TV screen shows a lot more of WOM's throat than I would like to see. Lisa gets it with no trouble and comments that it "wasn't so hard." Dr. Dave agrees: "It's easy when you've got a good teacher," apparently indicating himself. "You're right," Lisa says, and as she turns her head, we cut to a shot of the screen-within-a-screen, which displays Carter. Ow! Hey, I was going to make a grilled cheese sandwich in that skillet later; now my hair's all over it. Anyway, I think we get it: Carter's decided to respond to his attack by becoming Superteacher, and what with the working out, he -- OW! Look, I GOT IT!
In his apartment, Mark tells Holling he's "wheezing again." Mark asks if he wants "another breathing treatment," and Holling says he doesn't. Mark asks whether Holling's having any chest pain, and Holling, a little surprised, says, "No. That last stuff worked pretty good!" Mark prepares a vial of antibiotics and then, as he's shaking it and looking worriedly at Holling, he drops it, and it smashes on the floor. "Dammit!" he yells, and when he kneels down to clean it up, he grinds some broken glass into the heel of his hand. Holling notices that Mark's bleeding on the floor. Mark tries to ignore his own injury, but Holling's having none of it: "Shouldn't you keep pressure on that?" "I know, Dad," Mark says, winding toilet paper around his hand. "Keep your hand above your heart," Holling continues, "that's supposed to stop the bleeding. You need stitches." Mark firmly says that he's not going to leave Holling alone. "You're the doctor," Holling mutters. Heh. Oh, Holling, I miss you already.
Peter "Cottontail" Benton examines an elderly gentleman named Mr. Fulton, and observes that the circulation in his leg is poor, and that they'll need an arteriogram to check his blood flow. His son tells Benton that when Mr. Fulton first came to the hospital, the doctor couldn't feel a pulse in Mr. Fulton's foot. Benton asks when that was, and the Fultons tell him it was about a month ago. Sonny Fulton says that the doctor took the dead skin off Mr. Fulton's toe, told him to soak it, and gave him some ointment. Mr. Fulton says that his shoe didn't fit right, and had rubbed his toe raw. With no preamble, Benton declares, "Well, the toe is gangrenous now. And you have an ulceration on your leg. We will have to operate." Mr. Fulton -- broadsided, as anyone would be, by this pretty shocking news -- quavers, "How bad is it?" Benton tells him, "We'll probably have to amputate below the knee." Sonny Fulton looks down. "Amputate?" Mr. Fulton repeats. Sonny Fulton demands, "How could this happen? That first doctor gave my dad some pills and told him to take an aspirin; we never knew this could be this serious." Benton asks Sonny whether he remembers who that doctor was, and Sonny says it was "some foreign guy." "Kovac?" Benton asks. Mr. Fulton says it was he. I guess Mr. Fulton was so dazzled by Luka's beauty that he didn't pay full attention to his diagnosis.
Elizabeth, in her coat and carrying a small package of (I presume) medical supplies, tells Lydia that she's going to Mark's to stitch his hand, and that Lydia should make sure psych comes down to see Claire. Lydia wryly says that Claire isn't going anywhere: "I put her on a slow drip; she's got a couple more hours left on that bag." Elizabeth thanks her and leaves.
Lydia walks behind the desk, where Weaver, on the phone, is telling someone, "I'm still massaging the data. I'll make the presentation in June with three months' worth of figures." Carol is standing by the rack of charts and rubbing her forehead. Again, boo...no. No "hoo." That's all. As Weaver hangs up, Carol starts to walk off, and Weaver crutches after her asking where she's been. Carol says she was up in day care: "Tess has been cranky all morning." Weaver says, "I just postponed my meeting because I didn't have your report." Carol flaps a hand and says, "Aw, I didn't get to finish it." Um, hi -- "sorry"? Ever hear of it? It works well in situations like these. Weaver reminds her, "You're the paramedic liaison nurse. [Well, at least, she was when Shep was around, if you know what I'm saying, and I think you do.] You're supposed to stay on top of the stats." Carol says, "I know, I've just been incredibly busy." Weaver says that, in that case, she should have given the job to another nurse. Carol, wounded, breathes, "I can handle it!" Weaver stops her and says, very seriously and (under the circumstances) kindly, "Okay, look. I know that your babies take a lot of time, so if you need to cut back on your responsibilities --" "No, I'm fine!" Carol insists. Weaver asks, "Are you sure? Because I can't afford to have things fall through the cracks." "I can handle it," Carol promises. Where have I heard that before? Weaver crutches off. As Carol watches her go, looking (unjustifiably, in my view) pissed, Chuny and Amira walk up behind her; Amira has a huge box with a red bow on it and tells Carol a courier just dropped it off. They exhort her to open it. She sets the box down on the desk and slides off the lid of the box, stopping short before she can see much of what's inside. She freezes, and gasps, "Oh, God. It's from Doug." Chuny and Amira are even more intrigued now; Chuny asks to see what he gave her, so Carol folds back some tissue paper and sees that the box is full of little boxes of animal crackers. Aw! I don't even have to hear the rest; I already think that's cute. Amira comments, "That's a weird birthday present," and Carol explains, "No, it's this thing we used to do. Whenever he'd go to the store he'd come back with a box of animal crackers, and I'd always put one in his Christmas stocking." "Kind of like a tradition," Chuny observes, as she and Amira take off. Carol contemplates the box, and the course of her life. Okay, I don't like Carol, but...aw!
Weaver crutches into the pedes ER and asks how long Kenny's been seizing. Haleh says it's been over thirty minutes, so Weaver orders dilantin. Chen asks Yosh for Kenny's blood sugar; when he tells her it's still under forty, she orders D-25. To Weaver, she says, "I don't understand. How can the glucose level still be so low?" Weaver tells her it may be an insulinoma or a metabolic disorder. She orders more tests from Haleh -- an insulin, an ammonia level, and a uric acid. Abruptly, Kenny stops seizing. Weaver orders a dextrose drip and adds that his blood sugar should be checked every twenty minutes: "His brain can't tolerate another seizure." Mrs. Latimer asks, "Why isn't he awake?" Weaver crutches out to explain that "it's normal for him to sleep after something like this." Mr. Latimer asks, "But he will wake up, right?" By way of answer, Weaver suggests that they stay with him, since Kenny might be scared to wake up in a strange place. They thank her, and Chen.
In the hall, Weaver tells Chen to get a head CT and an EEG. Chen asks what she's thinking, and Weaver says she doesn't know, but says that the D-25 should have corrected the hypoglycemia, and that, since it didn't, something else must be going on. Hearing a high-pitched beep, Weaver crutches into a curtain area and then crutches out to ask a passing Chuny whether the beeping machine is attached to one of Chuny's patients. Chuny says the patient is Carol's, no surprise. Weaver asks him to change the patient's IV bag, which is the source of the beeping, but Chuny's already "got a guy puking all over exam two," and can't. Weaver quickly crutches up to Carol as she comes around the corner and tells her about the beeping patient. Carol mumbles, "Oh, yeah. Right," as if in a daze and hurries over to the patient's bedside. Weaver watches her go with obvious concern, and then follows.
In the curtain area, Weaver notes that it's not like Carol to let a patient's IV bag run dry. Carol apologizes. Weaver asks whether there's anything bothering her, but Carol says there isn't. Weaver kindly asks, "Are you sure?" Carol rears up and snaps, "If you have a problem with me, Kerry, you should just go ahead and say it." Weaver puts up both her palms in a "whoa!" motion and says, "Don't get so defensive. I'm just asking what's going on." Carol's voice breaks as she yells, "I am taking care of ten patients, I have two babies up in day care, and you're constantly on my back!" Um, Carol? Yeah, that's why she offered to relieve you of one or two of your responsibilities if you were feeling overwhelmed. It's not her fault you had twins; that she can't control. She can control the amount of work you have, as she has already offered, once, to do, and I would say that if you keep smarting off at her, she could control that amount of work straight on down to NONE by firing your snotty ass, so SHUTTIE. Weaver, obviously taken aback, curtly replies, "Stay on top of things, and I won't bother you again." Carol turns her back on Weaver, who stomps out.
Doris gives Dr. Dave and Carter the bullet on a patient who got hit on the El tracks trying to beat a train, and was knocked down but not run over. As the gurney passes through chairs, Mr. Barclay yells after them, "When is somebody going to take a look at my arm?" Dude, maybe when it gets hit by AN EL TRAIN, so how about you go down to the waterfront and let it DRAIN into the river I am NOT crying for you, okay?
In the trauma room, Carter and Dr. Dave transfer El Guy to a bed while Doris bags him. EG seems to have broken ribs; Carter tells Malik to prep for a central line, since the patient will need some fluid. Some machine starts beeping, and Dr. Dave yells that there are absent breath sounds on the left, which means "this guy's got a pneumo," and, to Malik, says, "Hey, man -- chest-tube tray." Malik says he's already prepping the central line for Carter. Just then Mr. Barclay appears in the doorway and demands, "Why does it take so long for a wound check?" Dr. Dave yells, "'Cause this guy's trying to die on us -- GET OUT OF HERE!" Much as I hate to agree with Dr. Dave: Word. Dr. Dave says, "As soon as I pop this baby in, his pressure'll shoot back up." Carter jovially says, "You can't assume that; he could be losing blood." Dr. Dave asks, "Did I ever tell you the story about my first chest tube?" Doris dismissively says that she'd love to hear it, but there are sick people waiting for her, and leaves. Dr. Dave chirps, "Cliff diver hit the rocks. What a mess. I'm in. You done, Dr. Carter?" "Not yet," murmurs Carter. Malik says that EG's pressure's still down, so Carter snarks, "So much for your chest tube, Dr. Dave!" Dr. Dave says that it could be blood in the belly, and asks Malik to get him an ultrasound. In the doorway, Malik passes Doris, who's returned to scream, "That guy just stole my rig!" "What guy?" Dr. Dave asks. "Your wound-check patient," she snaps. "That sucks," Dr. Dave replies rather cavalierly. Doris makes a "like, ha ha, not" face, and stomps out.
At his apartment, Elizabeth stitches Mark's hand. I must observe that Mark is sitting in a perfectly nice coach chair that some insane decorator has had upholstered in BLUE DENIM. Friends don't let friends buy denim furniture. I cannot stress that enough. Anyway, some very subdued flirting follows, which is -- typical for these two -- too boring for me to bother repeating. From his bed, Holling slurs, "Is he giving you a hard time over there?" Elizabeth smiles and gently says, "No, David. He's being a very good patient." She tells Mark that they'll remove the stitches in five days, and that they shouldn't leave a scar. Mark -- looking like it's taking all his energy not to burst into tears -- thanks her. She gives him some post-stitch instructions, and he mildly crabs, "I know." "I know you know," she murmurs. They both turn their attention to Holling; Elizabeth notes, "Looks like he's having difficulty breathing." Mark asks if she thinks he should give Holling another treatment. Holling interjects, "I can't breathe, but I can still hear every word you say." Elizabeth smiles, and offers to make Holling some lunch. He says he's not hungry, but tells her to "stay. Have some tea." She glances at Mark, who nods, so she replies, "I'd like that."
Luka barrels into the trauma room where El Guy is crashing. Carter fills him in on the patient's background, and Dr. Dave adds, "Probably cracked his spleen." "Hold on, Dave," Carter says, and Dr. Dave nods resignedly, looking like he wishes one of his hands were free to make the "jerk-off" motion. Carter goes on, "His neck veins are elevated and he's got low voltage on the EKG; I'm worried about fluid around the heart." "You should be worried about the belly," Dr. Dave interjects. Luka recommends that they check for cardiac tamponade. "I'd be checking the belly," Dr. Dave says again, like, thanks, Junior, now keep it down. Upon viewing the ultrasound, Luka confirms that EG "does have a big effusion around the heart," and Dr. Dave looks disappointed and embarrassed that his catch was wrong. Carter calls out some orders and Luka hands Dr. Dave the ultrasound, muttering, "Now you can check the belly," and looking like he's sorry one of his hands isn't free to pat Dr. Dave on the head. Dr. Dave admits that the "belly's looking pretty clean," as whatever Carter's doing to EG's heart starts to make machines bleat disconcertingly. Luka advises Carter to pull back, and things settle down, and EG guy's pulse recovers. As Carter draws blood from around EG's heart, Dr. Dave asks whether Carter needs another syringe. Carter says he thinks he's all right, and asks Dr. Dave to call for an ICU bed. Dr. Dave smiles bitterly, and goes off to do so. Luka congratulates Carter on his "good job," and Carter smiles.
Chen stops Weaver in the hall to tell her she suspects that Kenny has a rare metabolic disorder known as M-CAD. Weaver tells her to get a genetics consult and speak to Kenny's parents, and commends her on a good pick-up. Weaver crutches into a supply closet where Carol is making notes on a clipboard. Weaver registers Carol's presence and, aiming for "casual," asks Carol how she's doing. Without looking up, Carol replies that she's okay. Weaver says, "Look, uh, I'm sorry I came down so hard on you, but I depend on you." Emotionlessly, Carol says, "You were right. I need to be more on top of things." Weaver addresses the back of Carol's head: "Carol, you're the best nurse here, but something's going on with you. Is there anything I can do to help?" Carol still doesn't turn around as she replies that she just needs some time to figure some things out. Weaver gently says, "I've worked with you for five years. I know you." This FINALLY moves Carol enough to turn around, pause for a moment, and then admit, "I hate my life." She smiles weakly and half-shrugs and continues, voice breaking, "I mean, I love my work, and I love my daughters, but...how did I end up raising twins by myself?" She starts crying in earnest, and Weaver moves toward her and assures her, "You know, I think you need some time. I think that you have some sick days?" Carol whines, "Used 'em all up!" Weaver says, "I think if you check, I believe you'll find you have some extras that you can use anytime." Carol actually manages to look appropriately humbled and grateful at this gesture, and she whispers, "Thank you, Kerry." Weaver smiles and crutches out; Carol turns back toward the camera to wipe her face and exhale loudly. I don't really know what to make of this scene. On one hand, I feel that no one forced Carol into making the decisions she did and that, having made them, she should just suck it up, accept help when she needs it, and quit acting like she's the only single mother of twins who's ever walked the earth. Really, she has it a lot better than a lot of single moms: She has a good job; her children's father, while not living in the same city, clearly wants to be involved with her, and with his children; she has access to child-care that, if not free, is probably heavily subsidized by her employer; she has a circle of friends who are pretty much to a man and woman doing everything they can to help her out with her professional responsibilities in order to free her up to deal with those in her personal life; AND, as if all that weren't enough, A MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE GORAN VISNJIC IS HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH HER. On the other hand, I've never had kids and had to fit them in with my job and my life, so what the hell do I know? I guess my point is that I'm a baby and rarely have a problem asking people to help me when I need it, so I have a hard time understanding the motivations of people who are too proud to do the same, which is what I think is happening here. Plus if Carol weren't taking on more work than she could handle, she wouldn't get the opportunity to throw her diligence in other people's faces, and really, if she weren't a martyr, she wouldn't be Carol.
Anyway.
The camera pans up Kenny Latimer as his mother asks Chen why Kenny still hasn't woken up. Chen explains that Kenny's genetic disorder prevents him from burning fat for energy, and that when he got sick, his blood sugar dropped, causing his seizure. Mr. Latimer asks whether the length of Kenny's seizure will result in brain damage, and Chen tells him that they should wait for the results of the EEG. Mrs. Latimer says that Kenny was born at County, and she doesn't understand why no one told them Kenny had this condition. Chen tells her that Chicago hospitals don't screen for rare metabolic disorders. "But some hospitals do?" Mrs. Latimer asks. Chen says that, in some states, they do. Mr. Latimer asks whether there's anything they could have done to prevent or shorten Kenny's seizure if they'd known about his M-CAD. Chen looks shifty, and Mr. Latimer begs her to answer. Chen finally admits, "If you had given Kenny sugar water when he first got sick, you could have prevented the seizure." "Sugar water?" Mr. Latimer repeats, in disbelief. "Oh my god!" Mrs. Latimer sobs. Chen looks guilty.
Carter drops off a chart at the desk and tells Dr. Dave, who's standing there, that he just sent their patient up to the OR. Dr. Dave snottily comments that he hopes Carter "didn't cause any myocardial damage." Carter smugly tells Dr. Dave "it was as easy as threading a needle." The radio beeps a couple of times, followed by an oddly unprofessional voice saying, "Hello? I'm in an ambulance, bringing in some sick people." Carter asks, "What unit is this?" and the voice replies, "How the hell should I know? I was on my way to Mercy for a wound check when they flagged me down." "Who is this?" asks a thick-as-two-short-planks Carter. Duh, it's Mr. Barclay. Amira calls Dr. Dave over and he leans in to berate Mr. Barclay for his innovative solution to delays in health-care service. Mr. Barclay explains that he picked up some patients who ate some bad kielbasa. Doris, hearing the commotion, stomps over and demands, "Is that the jerk who stole my rig?" Dr. Dave asks Mr. Barclay whether the patients are stable, and Mr Barclay snaps, "I don't know, man -- they're puking." Doris tells him very emphatically not to let the patients puke on the floor, since she just cleaned her rig. Carter tells Dr. Dave that since he's "already established a relationship with the patient," Dr. Dave should take care of him. Amira, in the centre of the action, looks amused and very pretty -- particularly with the bangs she's had cut since the last time she was on the show.
Elizabeth prepares to leave Mark's place, telling him to call her if there's any change. Mark says he will. Elizabeth stops at Holling's bed, takes his hand, and tells him she has to get back to the hospital. "A doctor's work is never done," Holling says gruffly. "I'm afraid so," she agrees cheerfully. "Wait," he says, "I have something I want to give you. Mark, get that little green box out of the top desk drawer." As Mark carries out the order, Elizabeth says, "It's not necessary." "I know," Holling says, and, opening the box to reveal a strand of pearls, continues, "These belonged to Mark's mother. I came them to her on her wedding day. I want you to have them." Elizabeth, evidently quite moved, says, "I can't." Holling, without breaking his gaze, simply says, "Please." Elizabeth struggles to maintain her composure as she gingerly reaches for the pearls and says, "They're lovely. Thank you." To Mark, Holling says, "Don't just stand there. Help her put them on!" Elizabeth unclasps them and Mark gently winds the strand around her neck and closes the clasp. Holling watches the transaction, and says, "She looks beautiful, doesn't she, Mark?" "Yeah, she does," Mark agrees. Even in her scrubs and her frazzled midday hair, she really does.
I'll tell you Where the Heart Is: IN MY PANTS! (tm Bryan)
Chen stomps into the lounge, where Robert "Rocket" Romano is pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Hello, Jing," he says. "Oh, it's Jing-Mei," she replies angrily. As she gets a carton of milk out of the fridge, he notes that she seems upset, and asks if somebody died. She tells him County should be screening infants for rare metabolic disorders. He asks what she's talking about, and she tells him about Kenny, adding that a twenty-five dollar test administered when he was born could have prevented the seizure he sustained today. Romano says that if County tested for every metabolic disorder, they'd "be spending millions of dollars to identify a tiny handful of kids." He strides out of the lounge, and she races after him to say that if she'd known what Kenny had, she would have treated him differently, and might have been able to stop the seizure more quickly. He flippantly tells her not to blame herself: "It's all a question of allocation of precious resources. We have to draw the line somewhere" Chen says, again, that they should offer the test, and Romano says, again, that the hospital can't afford it. She invites him to explain that to Kenny's family: "They're in the PICU, waiting to see if their son comes out of a coma." She stomps off, and he watches her go with a shrug. Oh, women.
In his apartment, Mark gives Holling a sponge bath. Holling slurs, "Where's Elizabeth?" Mark tells him that she left a couple of hours ago. Holling asks, "Do you have to go to work?" Mark gently says, "No, Dad. I'm going to stay right here." Holling has no reaction to this news. Mark rearranges the pillows so that Holling can lay back, and asks, "Are you in any pain?" Holling says he isn't, and asks, "Are you all right?" "Yeah," Mark says equivocally. Holling tells Mark he looks tired, and then asks, "What is that soap?" Mark says it's "plain old Ivory." Holling says, "That's what your mother used." Hey, that's what I use! Shout-out? Mark says, "I remember," and then tells a story of his mother tucking him in when he was a kid, and kissing him, and his being able to smell Ivory soap on her face. Holling, smiling, comments, "This used to be my job!" Mark, also smiling (though more painfully), asks, "What's that?" "Giving you a bath when you were a baby," says Holling. Mark says he didn't know that. Holling, apparently wanting to get some final remarks said while he can still say them, says, "You're a good doctor." Mark is surprised, but says nothing. "The day you became a doctor was the proudest moment of my life," Holling says, his voice breaking. Mark wells up and whispers, "It's okay, Dad. You don't have to talk." "I love you, Mark," Holling blurts. Enunciating very clearly, Mark says, "I love you too, Dad." I've already said this on the boards, but I think it bears repeating: The moment when fathers and sons tell each other they love each other is always portrayed as such a serious, monumental occasion, and while I think it is important, of course, for such things to be said, I think it's unfortunate that men have to save it up their whole lives and then make such a production of it when the time comes to say it. I tell my mom I love her all the time, and I really feel sorry for men who don't feel comfortable telling their own dads that -- and, for that matter, for children of either sex who can't tell their parents they love them because they don't love them. But I digress. Why do I always recap the episodes where treasured cast members are dying? Honestly. ["Mwa ha ha ha ha haaaa! Uh, I mean, I don't know." -- Sars]
Dr. Dave works on Car Crash Girl -- whose name is Shelley -- in a trauma room. She asks when she can get up, and he says she can as soon as he checks her X-ray. He gaves Lily some orders and she goes to get the hemocue from the room...
...where Lisa and Carter are relocating Car Crash Dad's knee. Ew, it looks like a creepy operation, like...well, we've all known someone who was double-jointed, right? It's just an oogy thing to watch, but it seems to go off without a hitch. Carter asks Lily how Shelley is doing, and Lily says she's stable, and that Dr. Dave's "clearing the neck." Lily crosses back into Shelley's room...
...just as Cleo "Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!" Finch is coming in the other door. Dr. Dave gives her the bullet, adding that he thinks it's probably just whiplash, and that he's about to do his "secondary survey." Finch picks Shelley up so that Dr. Dave can slide the backboard out from under her, and Lily and Finch start to remove Shelley's pants. Shelley cries, "Don't!" and Dr. Dave tells her, "It's okay, Shelley, we just have to examine you, all right? We'll cover you with a sheet." As he pulls the sheet over Shelley's legs, he freezes and says, "Whoa." Finch asks, "What is it?" and he says Shelley's "got bruises on her thighs and blood in her underpants. Could be a urethral entry from a pelvic fracture?" He orders a couple of tests from Lily, but Finch tells her to wait and then seems to press down gently on Shelley's hips (though we don't see her hands as she's doing it) and asks Shelley if it hurts. Shelley says it doesn't, and Finch tells Dr. Dave it's not a pelvic fracture. His face darkens. Finch asks Shelley, "You've got some blood in your underpants. Did you hurt yourself?" "I want to go home!" Shelley cries, by way of answer. Finch and Dr. Dave exchange a look, and Dr. Dave leans in (which, if this girl has suffered sexual abuse, would probably unnerve her more) and tells her, "We're here to help you." Shelley swallows hard. Dr. Dave says, "I just need to ask you a few questions, okay?" "Okay," she says feebly. He asks, "Has anyone ever touched you where you go to the bathroom?" The Pitying Piano of Imminent Horrifying Revelation starts tinkling, and Shelley nods. Dr. Dave asks what happened, and Shelley says, "Sometimes my daddy plays a game with me..." Dr. Dave prompts her, "It's okay, you can tell us." Shelley concludes, "It hurts." Dude, SHE'S SIX. It's not that I don't believe this shit happens to kids as young as six -- it's that I do, and I hate the world. God. Anyway, Dr. Dave says, "Don't worry, he's never gonna hurt you again, okay?" Finch strokes Shelley's hair with HER GLOVED HAND, because that's comforting (not) as Dr. Dave calmly walks around Shelley's bed and then explodes into Mr. Shelley's room and pounces on him, yelling, "You sick son of a bitch, what did you do to her?" Carter and Malik pull Dr. Dave off Mr. Shelley as Dr. Dave screams, "He molested his daughter!" Mr. Shelley sits up and we see that he's played by Jay Underwood. Geez, it's quite a comedown for The Boy Who Could Fly to turn up here as The Man Who Abused His SIX-YEAR-OLD Daughter. Everyone's like, "Wuh?" and Dr. Dave yells, "She's got signs of abuse!" Mr. Shelley protests, "What are you talking about? I never touched her!" Carter apologizes to Mr. Shelley and takes Dr. Dave out to the hall. This is a confidential to Dr. Dave: If your aim is to help Shelley feel better after the violence that was perpetrated on her, maybe the best way to go about it is not to perpetrate even more violence. How about working with Social Services to help identify and counsel young women who've been abused? How about petitioning the state of Illinois to allocate more resources to treating children who've been abused? How about -- and this is kind of radical -- calling the cops and letting the justice system prosecute him? That he-man shit some men do when they find out women they know have been hurt really galls me. Like, it doesn't help her now to see that you -- like her abuser -- are capable of violence, so don't.
Out in the hall, Carter tells Dr. Dave, "You cannot go off like that on a patient!" Dr. Dave says, "He raped his daughter!" Carter reminds him, "You don't know that," adding, "Call Social Services and have Cleo do a pelvic." Dr. Dave says he'll assist. Carter says, "Not after what just happened in there." Dr. Dave says that Shelley trusts him. Carter says, "I think that's a really bad idea, Dave" -- and so do I -- but Dr. Dave snots, "Well, I'm going to assist," and stomps off.
Luka is sticking a needle in the big toe of an older woman as Carol stands by. To her, Luka says, "I heard Kerry was out for your blood." "She was pretty upset," Carol allows. Luka offers to talk to Weaver, but Carol assures him, "Oh, no -- we worked it out." Luka says, "Well, you'd think she could cut you a little slack on your birthday." Carol smiles, but doesn't meet his eye. He asks if she has plans to celebrate, and she says she doesn't, and that she doesn't like to leave the girls with a baby-sitter when she's been at work all day. Hey, I don't have kids. Just sayin'. Luka nods, and says, "No problem. I can cook you a birthday dinner -- even do the dishes." Oh. But if that's what it takes, I could have some kids. I'll borrow some! Carol regards him warily, and then squeals, "Okay! Better get these things to the lab!" and hustles out of there. Luka watches her go, evidently in deep smit. Lord.
In the hall, Mrs. Latimer -- holding a baby -- approaches Chen. Chen asks if everything's okay, and Mrs. Latimer tells her that the doctor in the PICU told her Kenny might have permanent brain damage. Sincerely, Chen says, "I'm so sorry." Mrs. Latimer adds that she'd like Chen to screen Kenny's sister Emma for metabolic conditions. Chen says nothing. You know what? I think we get it.
Elizabeth walks down the hall, accompanied by an older lady. Elizabeth is saying, "I can't force her to stay, but I was hoping that she'd listen to you." I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that this woman is Claire's mom. Sure enough, the woman says, "I love my daughter; I'd do anything to help her." They gaze through the glass into Claire's room; Elizabeth tells Mrs. Claire, "She's exhausted from not eating." "My God!" Mrs. Claire exclaims. "She's skin and bones!" Mrs. Claire pishes the door open and goes inside as Lydia stands to Elizabeth and asks, "You told the mother?" Elizabeth says, "I had no choice." "She's over eighteen," Lydia observes. Elizabeth says, "She has a terrible disease; I had to do something." Lydia makes a "whatever" face and walks away.
Elizabeth steps out of the elevator and asks, "Kerry, did someone page me?" Weaver says, "I did," and gently explains, "Mark's father passed away a little while ago." Elizabeth's face tightens for a moment, and then she looks down, looks back up again, and asks, "How's Mark?" "He's all right," Weaver says. "He said that he would call you as soon as the funeral home leaves." Elizabeth says that she'll go over as soon as she's finished, adding that Peter is still on call, and asking Weaver if she would mind asking him to cover for her. Weaver says, "Not at all," and then Lydia appears to tell Elizabeth she needs her right away.
Elizabeth jogs into Claire's room, where a quite angry (but still pretty feeble and wan) Claire is getting dressed and demanding to have her IV taken out. Mrs. Claire begs her not to go, and Elizabeth sits her down on the bed and says, "Claire, you're anorectic. You need to be hospitalized." "That's not what that shrink told me!" Claire argues. Elizabeth says, "He said we couldn't force you to stay, but you could die without treatment." Claire yells again that they should take the IV out, and Elizabeth relents, telling Lydia to remove it. Claire says, "I never said that you could call my mother. I'm an adult. I can do what I want." Mrs. Claire looks strained. Elizabeth looks at her, and then back at Claire, to say, "You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. I was only trying to save you." Oh, please. Elizabeth, is that the best you can do? Claire snarls, "I don't. Want. Your help." Elizabeth saddles up her high horse and says, "A friend of mine died today fighting for his life. You want to leave? Fine. Kill yourself. You don't give a damn? Neither do I. Discharge her." Elizabeth, I see where you're going, but she's right; calling her mom was way offsides.
Carter is doing his "swan" as Lily assists. She tells him that the "blood's bright red." Carter crows, "I knew it! This guy's got a whole in his heart, leaking oxygenated blood to the right side." Luka storms in to demand to know what Carter's doing, and to berate him for not sending the patient, as instructed, to the cath lab. Carter tells Luka he's doing a swan, and Luka says, "We don't do swans in the ER!" Haleh mutters, "I told him that." Luka says that the patient should be upstairs getting an angioplasty. Carter says that the patient would have died in the cath lab, and shows Luka the bright red blood. Luka's like, "Shit," but asks, "What about his M.I.?" Carter dismissively says that they can bypass the patient when they mend the rupture. Luka looks annoyed, but clearly isn't in much of a position to argue, so confines himself to admonishing, "We're supposed to work together. time, you tell me what you're doing." Carter's like, "Whatever."
Dr. Dave stitches up the facial laceration of The Boy Who Could Permanently Scar His Own Child. The Boy is evidently in a great deal of pain and begs, "Can't you give me something?" Dr. Dave breezily says, "Just a couple more stitches, and then they're taking you to jail." Weaver watches for a moment, but when the Boy yells, "Ow! You're hurting me, dammit," she crutches in and tells Dr. Dave to give the Boy more lidocaine. Dr. Dave says, "I did an infraorbital block," and Weaver says, "You must have missed the nerve. Infiltrate locally." Dr. Dave pauses, and then says that if he does, it'll distort the wound edges. Weaver tells him again, "Infiltrate subcutaneously or I'm going to take over." Dr. Dave considers for a moment, then says, "Fine. You do it."
Oh, lord. Chen pages Romano to the PICU, where she and Mrs. Latimer are sitting beside Kenny's bed. She tells him that there is no consult, but that she's started a petition to start doing metabolic screens at County, and that she'd like him to sign it. Because Mrs. Latimer is there staring him down, he signs, but he doesn't look happy about it. I'm sorry that Kenny had a seizure, but you know what? I think we GET IT.
In the hall, Luka asks Weaver if she's seen Carol. She says she hasn't, so he asks her to tell Carol, if Weaver sees her, that he's looking for her. Weaver agrees and crutches on, running into Carter and scolding him for doing the swan. By the end of the scolding, they've reached the desk, where Chuny tells Carter that a victim of multiple stab wounds is coming in. Carter asks Dr. Dave if he's interested, and Dr. Dave hoarsely says, "No." Carter asks how Shelley's doing, and Dr. Dave says, "The cuts will heal. I'll see you tomorrow."
Luka walks up to Carol, who's standing on the roof. Dude, when Weaver told you to stay on top of things, I don't think that's what she meant. He asks if she's all right, and she says, "I've been up here thinking." He says, "Birthdays can make you do that." "It's been...quite a year," she says, and he says, "For me, too." He strokes her lapel, adding, "I'm looking forward to the one." She stares at him blankly and then says, "Luka, I'm sorry, I don't think I can have dinner with you tonight." Sars and Wing Chun attempt to break the land speed record while lunging for our telephones to call (312) 555-LUKA. Gently, he asks, "Did I do something wrong?" "Oh, no," she says, "It's not you. It's me." Uh. You don't bust that one out for a man as nice and kind and thoughtful and smart and funny and GORGEOUS as Luka. You do not. Before he can say anything, she blurts, "I'm sorry, I've got to go," and sprints off. Carol, you imbecile.
Elizabeth walks into Mark's apartment, where he's fussing with a bunch of papers. She says, "I'm so sorry," and, without looking up, he nods. She asks if she can do anything, and he says, attempting to sound bright but sounding more strained by the effort that takes, "Not really. I've called all his Navy pals in San Diego. I just got off the phone with Rachel. I've got some forms to fill out. His taxes...Mom used to do his taxes, so they're kind of a mess. And his house...Uh, I've got to sell the house. I promised him that I wouldn't sell the house, when he came out here, but I...don't see a reason to keep it." He starts sobbing. Elizabeth reaches down and holds his back to her chest. I'm sad about Holling's death too, but God help me, Anthony Edwards looks even more like a penis when he cries.
week: Carol hits the road, Jack. Sars, relish it!