Upon reviewing the previouslies from last week, I find myself really surprised that Quantum winds up with that really fast and fierce blow, yet, in delivery, somehow had the muscle control to make so delicate a cut as to only lop off the tip of a tentacle. Sure. Why not. Clearly, he learned tenacity and power from the tiger. From the white crane, gracefulness. And the dragon teaches him to ride the wind, while the gazelle shows him the way to washed rinds.
While the anorexic Remans -- who have lost every ounce of their street cred along with their body fat -- look on, Val-dor-EE and the evil Romulan Senator Sant'rum talk about Their Mission and how it's about to be cancelled because it's made the Tellarites and Andorians bond for the first time ever, but more because they don't have enough viewers. Val-dor-EE blames everything on the meddling humans and says that the second drone ship is ready. For immediate blowing up by the end of the episode.
An oldy but, in my completely unbiased opinion, also a goody:
Just sit right back and you'll read a snark,
A snark of a cosmic trip
That started from a stellar port
Aboard this new starship.
The mate was a skanky Vulcan chick,
The skipper brash with pride.
The astronauts set warp that day
For a three-hour ride, a three-hour ride.
The Klingon started getting loud,
The Suliban were shrewd,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The mission would be screwed, the mission would be screwed.
No cloak, no shields, no chamber pots,
Not a single phaser store
Like Robinson Crusoe,
As ancient as of yore.
So join us here each week, my pals,
You're sure to shout with glee,
At seven horny space cowboys,
Here on Mighty Big TV!
You'll have to forgive the use of our bygone name -- that was when our hearts were young and vague.
Here's a fun fact to know: "Aenar" is "Arena" scrambled. Did I just blow your mind there? Did I? Not only are they rescrambling TOS episodes, they're also rescrambling TOS episode TITLES!
Quantum logs that the Tellarites went wee-wee-wee all the way home, but Shran McCain is hanging around to help them fight the Marauder. Hold on one damn second; I'm all for Shran hanging around to lend a helping blue hand, but what about the rest of the one hundred twenty-eight ships they worked so hard to gather together last week? I mean, last we saw, they were hot on the tail of the drone ship. What -- they suddenly gave up and went home? They decided that the murdering, marauding, supersonic chameleonic ship just wasn't worth the gas? Because...they'll get it time it blows up a bunch of their ships? Seriously, what's up with that shit? Oh, and I'm sorry, but in my mind, there's only one marauder in sci-fi-land and it's NOT in Star Trek.
I really liked how they set up this first scene. It appears they might be using the captain's private dining room for this summit meeting of "no, no one hundred twenty-eight ships, don't worry about it -- we'll get this one." The camera's giving us an expanded view of this room, which allows us to see a small bar set up in the corner. That alone makes me respect Quantum for the first time in four years. But what I really liked about this scene was the TNG feel of all the senior officers gathered together to discuss things. Furthermore, I loved that Phlox is one of those senior officers. They didn't always include him in past discussions and I was really annoyed by it. T'Pol briefs them all that the drone ship is controlled telepathically. For no real purpose that they ever follow up on in this episode, Shran says, "We experimented with that a couple of years ago -- nothing ever came of it." Wow, someone REALLY wants to get his security clearance revoked; revealing that sort of info is not something the Imperial Guard would look kindly upon. Maybe they'll punish him by arranging for him to get impaled by a frozen blue penis in a few days. On second glance, I'm thinking it's not actually the captain's private dining room. It's definitely the set from it, but they've expanded the walls and put more monitors up. I don't think we've ever seen this room before. "So," Reed says, sloooooowly cottoning on, "there really was nobody on that ship." "And the people runnin' it were back on their homeworld safe and sound," Trip adds. "Dunnit seem fair." No one said being cancelled was fair, Trip. T'Pol says she's analyzing all the data Trip crammed in his pockets last week and she thinks they can construct their own "telepresence unit." All they'll be able to do with their unit is use it to interfere with the drone's ship navigation. That's more than Quantum's done with his unit. Not that I'm complaining, I'm merely here to observe. They've also found a brainwave pattern, and the result of Phlox's extensive scans is the finding that the owner is highly telepathic. Apparently, you have to be telepathic to work the "telepresence unit." "Vulcans have telepathic powers," Quantum announces. No! Really? Vulcans have TELEPATHIC POWERS? You're joking! Wow. That's just…wow. My world will never be the same. Phlox says that Vulcans aren't as telepathically advanced as this particular brainwave, and he also can't find a species to match the brainwave: "However, the nearest genome is Andorian." Hold on, what's this crap now? Genomes are all about DNA and shit -- they have absolutely nothing to do with brainwave patterns, right? Oh, I give up. Sure, why not -- thing they'll be wanting me to believe is that "Faith of the Heart" is actually related to music. Shran looks surprised; Quantum sits back and, for some unfathomable reason, looks resignedly accusatory.
Romaha. (A lot better than "Romuaha," don't you think?) Val-dor-EE and 2nd Romnana discuss repairs to the drone ship. 2nd Romnana, compassionate scientist that he is, expresses grave concerns about the health and well-being of the Gimp. Val-dor-EE doesn't care three ways to Tuesday.
In the Quantumnal Ready Room, Shran says that his people have identified the brainwave and it belongs to no sort of Andorian that Quantum has ever seen. "They're a kind of sub-species," Shran explains, "blind ice-dwellers." Wait. The blind part I get, but "ice-dwellers"? Aren't all Andorians ice-dwellers? Wasn't it just last week that Shran was gabbling about bringing his Indigo Girl's blood "back to the ice of Andoria"? So, how is "ice-dweller" a defining characteristic for this sub-species? Shran goes on that, for a long time, this mythical sub-species was only a myth to the rest of Andoria. However, fifty years ago the sub-species were discovered in the northern wastelands of the planet. I don't think it's nice to call Canadians a sub-species. Even though these Aenar are secretive and reclusive, Shran doesn't believe they could have built the ship because they are pacifists. Shran and Quantum agree that they have to find out who is controlling the ship, and Quantum orders a course set for Andoria.
Sickbay. The entire room is taken up with tubing and equipment and spare parts -- what if someone has a medical emergency? Where are they going to go? I guess they can just quietly bleed to death in the corner. Trip gets up from where he was fiddling with stuff on the floor. In response to his huffing and puffing, T'Pol tells him to rest since Phlox thinks it's too soon after his radiation sickness for him to return to duty. "Phlox? You were talkin' to him about me?" Trip hopes. T'Pol tells him shortly that it came up in conversation. Trip says he doesn't have time to take a break because the cap'n needs his unit right away. T'Pol tells him she can handle the captain's unit, and fusses with something. Apparently, her fussing is ineffectual because Trip reaches over, twists the thing off with a mighty grunt, and tells the wee little girl thing that she might be good at crocheting lace and crunching numbers but she's "a little out of her league" when it comes to "sticking things together." Shut up, Cancelled Trip. It really infuriates me that they made Trip exhibit a whole show of strength while he delivered that line. T'Pol's a goddamned Vulcan! Why the hell she hasn't kicked everyone's ass on this ship is beyond me. Clearly, it's also beyond the writers. Trip confesses, "You know, when I wuz on that ship with Malcolm, I wuz convinced I wuz gonna die." I've heard Reed has that effect on people. Trip wonders if T'Pol has "ever bin there." "Since Enterprise was launched, we've all been near death. On more than one occasion," T'Pol says dismissively. Trip brushes all those other puny brushes with death aside and says he REALLY felt like he was near death this time. T'Pol admits she felt that way in the Expanse when they were destroying Sphere 41. Trip gets close to her and asks what went through her mind. "Whether or not to transfer auxiliary power to the deflector array," T'Pol responds. Aw, come off it, T'Pol -- that's not the ONLY thing you were thinking about! Admit it, you were also reconfiguring the warp field parameters, analyzing the collected works of Charles Dickens, and considering a new food supplement for Spot. Trip's all disappointed that her "final thoughts" weren't about him. Please. If they were, would she admit it to him at this time? I mean, I don't know about you, but putting together a telepresence unit that will interfere with the navigational controls of a murdering, marauding, supersonic chameleonic ship doesn't exactly make me feel romantic. On top of that, she's already told Trip he needs to back off while she becomes a nun AND she's a FREAKING VULCAN and therefore NOT very LIKELY to have EMOTIONAL thoughts at a time when it's not LOGICAL or HELPFUL to have them, ESPECIALLY when LIVES ARE ON THE LINE! God. Grow up, Cancelled Trip!
In a very cool shot of a ringed planet or moon, Enterprise zooms toward the Andorian homeworld. Reed frets all over Quantum about the dampening field surrounding the Aenar compound and how Quantum won't be able to contact the ship. In spite of this, Shran and Quantum steadfastly refuse to bring a complement of Uh-Ohs with them, because they want the Aenars to trust them. Shran and Quantum beam down to Andorinnesota. Quantum, the wimp, immediately clutches his quilted hood around his face. Shran, on the other hand, is overjoyed with the temperature. Shran takes a reading and Quantum boggles at the -28°. Bitch, please -- that's like a run-of-the-Mill-on-the-Floss Minnesotan winter. Hell, one winter in Ann Arbor, the windchill was -75° and we still went to our classes. And we liked it! Shran tells Quantum to be grateful it's the middle of summer. As they walk, Shran talks about how the cities of Andoria are built underground to take advantage of geothermal energy. Dude, that's just like the Duluth campus of the University of Minnesota! However, I do suspect that their underground tunnels are more about avoiding the wind off Lake Superior and less about the geothermal stuff. Shran brags that he didn't see the sun until he was fifteen and then falls to his knees. Quantum reminds EVERYONE that Shran still hasn't regained his balance from his recent cranial castration. They forge on through pretty blue and green lights playing off the cave set sprayed down with fake snow.
Romchester. They are twelve hours away from launching both drones. While the scientist in 2nd Romnana bristles at being called a "soldier," Val-dor-EE recalls the heady days of being a senator. Do I care? Not really. All it tells us is that Val-dor-EE was fired because he questioned whether the idea of "unlimited expansion" was the best thing for Romulans. He has now learned his lesson and will never question authority again. Because that's a healthy reaction.
In the snow caves, Shran points out holes in the ice, saying they are made by "ice spores" -- worms that live in the ice and generate heat by a chemical reaction. On their way down some steep steps, Shran falls, does a somersault, and falls some more. Quantum scampers after him. Shran lies flat on his back, legs slightly spread, and sticking out of his leg is a big, blue, glossy stalagmite. Nope. I'm not buying it -- that thing is so phallic-looking that it might as well come with AA batteries. And I'll tell you this much, from the camera angle, it sort of looks like Shran is not so much cold as he is…no. I can't go there. I REALLY can't go there. Shran braces himself and slowly, languidly, and with a lot of moaning and wet noises, lifts his body off Big Blue. Because this was his first time, Shran is losing a lot of blood. As Quantum attempts to administer first aid (you just know he's going to do something stupid like put ice on the wound), we see an Aenar skulking in the distance. She's got this gauzy veil over the bottom half of her face. Because that's warm.
After the commercials, Quantum cinches up Shran's leg and grouses at him not to move. I don't think Quantum's ever been in more danger of his furrows freezing that way. Shran comments that they are going to die. Stupidly, Quantum whips out his communicator and tries to call the ship. Shran reminds him that they are inside the dampening field. "It doesn't hurt to try," Quantum snaps. No, it doesn't hurt to try -- it just makes you look like an idiot. Since he's waited out his ten minutes, Shran's antennae stiffen and hone in on the skulking Aenar. Another skulker comes out of a snowdrift. She's also wearing a cozy veil around her neck and face. Quantum tells them they need their help. The first skulking Aenar kneels down at Shran's side, takes a moment, and says they will assist them.
Enterprise sickbay. Hm, nice unit. Phlox judges they are ready to put someone in his unit for a test run. He admits that it will be very dangerous. Trip wants to be the first one to try it out. Trip, did you suddenly acquire telepathic abilities in that thick head of yours while no one was looking? No? Then shut up. T'Pol pretty much repeats my sentiments and says that using him wouldn't be a true test of the unit's capabilities. "Well, at least we'll find out if it causes brain damage," Trip says. No, no we wouldn't, Trip. T'Pol and Trip argue a bit, but T'Pol wins. Phlox looks on in concern.
Awesome painting of the Aenar city. It's got all these flat saucer-pods attached to giant stalagmites. The hierarchy of the saucer-pods reminds me of the Apple Core Helix. Aw, remember the Apple Core Helix? I'm not getting nostalgic -- I'm just trying to make all of you cry. Anyway, the city looks like a giant Ice Helix. Which sounds like something a Wonder Twin would turn into. Dude, these inside sets are awesome! They've got those Lucite chairs that look like they were designed by Starck or something from Magis. The Aenars tend to Shran's wound; far from appearing blind, they seem to look right at Shran when they talk to him. Also, they have pupils! Their eyes are totally not the milky white blindness that we saw in Geordi La Bleu last week. I find that really disappointing. It's like they were trying to make it as shocking as possible but then they didn't follow up on it with these Aenar. Sort of stupid, really. One of the Aenar addresses Quantum by his name. "You can read minds!" Quantum doofs. The Aenar inclines her head and says they have a strict law there that prohibits the reading of minds without permission. She knows who he is because the Andorian chancellor contacted them. Quantum tells her to take him to her leader. "We assign our leaders as the need arises -- for this occasion, I have been chosen as speaker," the Aenar says. Sounds like the Cheeseboard Collective, if you ask me. Leadnar finally says that it would move things along if she could just "have" Quantum's thoughts. Quantum looks over at Shran, who frowns and shakes his head. In spite of this, Quantum decides to give Leadnar his furrow combination. "You have an interesting mind, Captain, many facets," Leadnar says. And they're all assholes. "Some of those facets are in conflict," Leadnar says. "That explains a lot," Shran mutters. BWAH! After getting slightly derailed by Quantum's deep-seated obsession with gazelles, Leadnar wades through enough of Quantum's little gray cells to finally agree that the evidence he's collected regarding Aenar involvement is damning. She thinks there's a possibility of it being an Aenar they thought died in an accident but whose body they never found. Leadnar realizes that Quantum will need an Aenar to work his unit, and says she will consult with the others.
Enterprise. Trip drinks strong coffee. In a corridor, he passes T'Pol with barely a grunt. "TRIP!" she demands. Trip stops. T'Pol appreciates his concern for her safety. "I just don't want Enterprise to lose a good officer," Trip says, not meeting her eyes. T'Pol thinks he's letting his emotions get in the way of his work. "Mah work's as gud as it's allays been -- as far as m'feelin's...they're purely professional," Trip tells her, and walks away.
Aenaritaville. The first Aenar, who is much younger than Leadnar, stands over Shran in the darkened room. Shran announces that he's never been able to sleep with someone watching him. The Aenar apologizes and says she's never met a "blue skin." Shran reminds her that she's blind, and cagily asks how she can tell his skin is blue. "Don't ask me to explain," the Aenar says breathily, "I've never been much good at science." "Neither have I," Shran admits. And now they're in love. They trade jokes and stories about living in above-freezing temperatures. Shran seeks to impress her: "I've been on worlds where the temperature is only slightly below the boiling point of water!" Well, sure, but the boiling point of water isn't fixed even on our world. The Aenar, who I wish they would just give a name already, says she came to apologize for reading his mind earlier without his permission. It wasn't intentional. She sympathizes with his recent loss because her brother is the missing Aenar. So, Geordi La Bleu is Gareb the Gimp? She wonders if her brother's in pain because she has nightmares about him being locked and bound in a strange cage. Oh, don't worry -- it's just Zed's basement. The Aenar says her brother wants her to rescue him.
Romkyo. 2nd Romnana helps The Gimp back into the chair and says, "Forgive me," as he zaps him with a stimulant in the neck.
Enterprise. T'Pol tests out the unit. She gasps and twitches but insists that she's fine. Phlox notes that her synaptic responses are getting more erratic, and Trip tells him to shut it down. T'Pol says she will rest a few moments before she tries again. Do you see what they did? With the parallel scenes? Yeah, I guess I wasn't all that impressed either but I was trying really hard to whip myself up in to a state of impressedness. Is that even a word? I think I'm losing my mind.
Aenaragua. Quantum rails on the Leadnar for being unwilling to help them in their mission. Leadnar says they don't want to be involved in anything violent, no matter how noble the intentions. Quantum and Shran leave in a huff.
Romargo. The two drones are launched.
Aenartica. The Aenar Who Must Not Be Named guides Shran and Quantum out of the dampening field. She senses an upcoming ice spores swarm and holds out a hand to stop Shran and Quantum. I was really hoping the whole point of her gauzy, immensely toasty warm, veil was that it was a sensory net. Like the one Diana Muldaur had in "Is There in Truth No Beauty?" Alas, there seems to be no point to it other than to ward off frostbite. The spores fall -- they are gross, maggoty little things that make icky plopping noises. Quite effective. Voldenar reminisces about the time she and her brother chased spores almost to the surface of the compound. Her parents were worried about her then, and they're going to be worried about her now because she's running off to help Shran and Quantum. Voldenar asks Quantum what his ship is like. "Warm," is all Quantum can say.
Sickbay. Trip frets over T'Pol getting back into the unit. As T'Pol is well aware of what she can handle, Phlox advises Trip to back off. "I kin't b'leeve I'm getting' this from you," Trip whispers furiously, "Has everywun on this ship gone crazy?" "Not everyone," Phlox says pointedly. "Oh, I'm crazy," Trip says, unconvinced. Phlox tells him not to blame himself, since not one species in the galaxy has mastered the art of workplace romances. Trip announces that Phlox is the last person who should be discouraging him, since Phlox acted as the Neural Node Nudging pimp in the first place. Trip doesn't know what he's going to do. Phlox tells him to tough it out.
Aenarage. Quantum comes to the conclusion that they are going in circles when he sees the ice spores holes in the ceiling of the igloo. Voldenar agrees and says the rest of the Aenar are trying to stop them by not letting them see the path to the surface. The Leadnar projects herself in front of them and intones that it's time for Voldenar to return to her people. Does anyone else find it singularly idiotic that a blind, telepathic race is using holographic projections as a means of communication? Voldenar gives a "not without my brother!" speech, which Quantum backs up and says Voldenar is following her own conscience. Leadnar disagrees with that. "How do you know -- did you read her thoughts? I thought that wasn't the custom with your people," Quantum zings, totally chuffed at getting her on a technicality. Leadnar asks permission to read Voldenar's thoughts and even addresses her by name, but in my opinion, they waited so long to give her a name that they lost the opportunity for me to it. So there! Voldenar consents; Leadnar realizes that Quantum is right and shows them the way out.
Enterprise. Quantum logs that they've heard that the cargo ship, Ticonderoga, is missing. I wonder if their cargo was pencils. Enterprise is traveling to the cargo ship's last known location. In Sickbay, Voldenar is getting ready to try out the magnificent unit. Once in the unit, Voldenar handles herself pretty well for a while. She even seems to enjoy the unit. She flies through some tests they throw at her but quickly experiences synaptic trouble. Phlox, Quantum, and Trip sort of dither around, and it takes Shran yelling them to shut it down for them to actually do anything about it. Phlox hyposprays the convulsing Voldenar. Should I be worried that they are capable of creating this elaborate unit, yet poor Captain Pike is stuck in that chair where he could only flash lights and sometimes people thought he was saying "YES YES" when he actually meant "NO"? I shouldn't? Is it that because the show is cancelled? Okay then. And I swear if one single person emails me and tells me it was actually two flashes for "YES" and one for "NO" I will NOT recap this show year! Don't believe me? Just try me.
They arrive at the last known coordinates of the Ticonderoga but only find debris, which includes human bodies. Quantum tells T'Pol that Voldenar is going to be okay, but Phlox says it's too dangerous for her to try again. "Looks like we went all the way to Andoria for NOTHING!" Quantum spits out, and flounces into his chair.
Sickbay. Shran watches over Voldenar until she wakes up. Voldenar murmurs that she failed. Shran affectionately tells her not to be ridiculous, she was incredibly brave: "I'm a Commander in the Imperial Guard and I'd be afraid to go anywhere near that thing." Voldenar smiles that his Indigo Girl was fortunate to have him. "I was the fortunate one," Shran corrects her. Voldenar realizes that her brother's going to die, but Shran refuses believe it. "It's hard to be strong," Voldenar says weakly. "You make it look easy," Shran assures her, taking her hand. "Keep being strong. For me." Aw, that was nice. I mean, Combs was great as always, but he was so good in this scene that he even managed to give blood to Voldenar's more anemic acting.
Bridge. What appears to be a Tellarite freighter is crossing Enterprise's path. Quantum orders a hail and we see Hoshi working on it, but she doesn't even get the chance to say, "No response." Instead, when there is no response, Quantum orders their engines targeted. So, I guess the reason why they can't tell that this ship is a drone from the power signature is because they wouldn't have seen this particular drone's power signature before? From what I gathered in an earlier scene, they didn't recover a power signature in the wreckage of the Ticonderoga. However, they do know what a Tellarite freighter's power signature is, so can't they just examine that as they did before? It really doesn't make sense that they threw in this inconsistency, even if it is for the sake of "dramatic" "tension." I mean, come on -- the viewers are smarter than that. Star Trek viewers have ALWAYS been smarter than that! How is that a hard concept for the writers to grasp? The "unknown" ship closes in, and finally Quantum orders that they fire on it.
Fairly quickly after the firefight starts, the drone drops all pretense of being a Tellarite fighter by sloughing off its holographic skin. I suppose the Romulans decided that once it was clear Enterprise knew the jig was up, they might as well put all their power toward shields and weapons and not waste any on the skin.
Sickbay. In reaction to all the noise and bouncing about, Shran explains to Voldenar that they are under attack. He's about to dash to the Bridge to lend a blue hand when Voldenar stops him, saying, "I can feel him." She can sense her brother's presence and wants to try the unit again. Phlox argues that it's too dangerous, but Shran insists they let her try.
Romtroit. Val-dor-EE gives orders to attack with the second drone. 2nd Romnana reluctantly complies.
Enterprise quickly realizes that the Andorian battlecruiser the drone is posing as is a fake, and targets it. As T'Pol notes a power surge in Sickbay connected to the Unit, Quantum comms to find out what's going on. Phlox reports that Voldenar was insistent on trying again.
Sickbay. Phlox notes a cortical fluctuation and worries that Voldenar is going to have a seizure, but Voldenar pants loudly that she can do it.
Romtwerp. 2nd Romnana reports that Enterprise has lost warp capabilities and also that someone has tapped into their telemetric array.
Inside his gimp suit, Geordi La Bleu recognizes his sister's mind. We get close-ups of both of their faces with blue and red lights playing across them. It's really odd how much more blind Geordi La Bleu appears compared to Voldenar -- I still can't figure out why they made that decision. Voldenar tells Geordi La Bleu that she is on the ship he's attacking. Geordi La Bleu immediately stops the drones from firing. Val-dor-EE is furious that they are now defenseless.
Enterprise. Reed notes that they've stopped firing.
As the siblings exchange pleasantries ("I thought you were dead!" "No, no, I thought you were dead") we learn that Geordi La Bleu was indeed abducted from Andoria and told that he was the last surviving member of his species. Right. And the reason why Geordi La Bleu believed them was because he thought it was uncouth to read the minds of the nice people who had abducted him, tortured him, and used him to murder lots of people? Whatever -- this episode bores me with all its ridiculous inconsistencies. Geordi La Bleu agonizes over how many people he's killed, but Voldenar attempts to soothe him, saying it wasn't in his control. She tells him he knows what he has to do. Geordi La Bleu wiggles his fingers, and one drone starts to attack the other. The Romulans realize they have lost all control of the drones and their weapons.
Enterprise. After Reed reports this turn of events, Quantum suggests they "give [the drones] a hand."
Val-dor-EE holds a disruptor to Geordi La Bleu's neck and orders him to stop. 2nd Romnana shouts, "NO!" but is held back by other Romulans. "Resume your attack on the Earth ship," Val-dor-EE orders. "Remember me," Geordi La Bleu tells his sister, who pants out his name. One drone ship destroys the other, and Val-dor-EE shoots Geordi La Bleu. On Enterprise, Voldenar gasps and slumps. Shran and Phlox rush to get her out of the Unit.
Enterprise destroys the remaining drone.
Romseille. The Gimp slumps in his chair and falls forward. Val-dor-EE sneers and walks away as 2nd Romnana rushes to the dead Gimp's side. He lifts off the helmet and exposes a gaping blue wound in his neck. Interestingly, Val-dor-EE had his disruptor on the other side of The Gimp's Adam's apple. If they have Adam's apples. Maybe they're frozen apples.
Enterprise. Shran holds Voldenar. Quantum logs that they're returning Shran and Voldenar to Andoria. Quantum thanks Voldenar for her help, and Voldenar thanks them for allowing her to come along so she could be with her brother when he died. Shran plants himself in front of Quantum and says, "I regret much of what happened between us recently." Quantum: "Same here." "When you lose a ship, you aren't usually rewarded with another one," Shran continues. "I may not see you for awhile." Like, not for another series. "If there's anything we can do, or say, on your behalf," T'Pol offers. Well, write to Les Moonves or take out a full-page ad in the L.A. Times or rend your clothes and pull out your hair, swearing you will never get over this travesty -- every little bit helps. Shran looks at T'Pol closely and says he appreciates the offer: "Let's just see what the future brings." He and Quantum shake hands. For the last time. On the transporter pad, Shran calls, "Try to stay out of trouble, Pinkskin!" They beam away.
Quantum's Quarters. Trip enters and Quantum says he's been looking over his report and he thinks Trip is being a little hard on himself. "There's no getting around it -- I missed a ten-degree variance in the telepresence emitter," Trip says. Quantum says that Phlox doesn't think that had anything to do with Voldenar's seizure. "But he can't be sure -- either way, I should've caught it," Trip argues. Quantum reminds him that they were all under a lot of pressure. "Mah mind wuzzint on the job," Trip insists. Quantum brushes this claim off with, "If that were true, you probably wouldn't be standing here now." Quantum grins at Trip and pulls down a carafe full of red liquid. Man, these past few years have turned Quantum into a veritable drunk! First the mini-bar in the opening and now a mini-bar in his own room? Remember when he wouldn't touch the stuff? Of course, it could just be Kool-Aid. After all, a gazelle doesn't change his spots. Trip works his face a bit before he says, "Cap'n, I want a transfer." Quantum jerks his head up and looks at Trip in smiling disbelief: "Where?" Trip says Columbia needs experienced people. Quantum reminds Trip that he's turned them down twice before, so why now? "I think I culd dew some gud over there," Trip says, quietly. "I need you here, Trip," Quantum says, still not really believing Trip's serious. "They need me more," Trip perseveres quietly. Quantum gives him a beady furrow and asks, "What's this really about?" Quantum gives the WOTWW a passing glance and says that he hasn't heard one word that explains Trip's reasoning. Trip looks down and says, "I've said ev'rythang I've wanted tew." "That's it?" Quantum demands before sitting down. "And I'm supposed to accept that? And if I refuse your transfer?" Trip whispers, "Cap'n, as a friend I'm askin' yew -- let me dew this." "It's your career, Trip, but as a friend, I'm asking you to stay," Quantum pleads quietly. "I can't," Trip whispers. Quantum gives him a steady look: "All right." Trip thanks him. "Dismissed," Quantum says quietly. He should just say "cancelled" instead of "dismissed" from now on. Quantum sits at his desk to the two unpoured glasses of Kool-Aid. Now, MAYBE if you had shown Trip a MODICUM of the EMOTION that you just showed him here when his sister DIED, MAYBE he would've felt that he ACTUALLY had a TRUE friend in you and that FRIENDSHIP was worth sticking around for. And MAYBE that FRIENDSHIP would have helped him get over his Vulcan breakup and MAYBE that FRIENDSHIP would have made him feel as though he could actually tell you the truth, but NOOOOOO, you had to save it until it was ALL TOO LATE, YOU COLOSSAL ASS!
For the record, I don't believe for a second that Trinneer is leaving the show. I don't even think they'll have the spirit or the guts or the ingenuity to transfer him to Columbia even for a brief amount of time. However, I never miss an opportunity to scream at Quantum. Especially since my father recently told me that he thought Quantum was a nice guy and that I should "go easy on him." My father, who has seen maybe five episodes of Enterprise in four years! My father, who has never watched any other Star Trek series! My father, who voted for -- no, never mind.
week: Man, even the announcer sounds excited about the cancellation. "Enterprise -- the first flagship of the Federation, these are her LAST voyages. These are the FINAL episodes." It's kinda mean. But considering my recaps, I sort of find it funny. Anyway, week there's a spy on the ship coming in from the cold. And you know, it's VERY cold in space.