In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close. The ship filled with evangelical aliens gathering around to watch some gassy star, Quantum learns that his old friend Silik is at large. A red shirt bites the dust after revealing little more than Quantum's egg consistency preference and flashing around the Sony electronics line of 3051. Trip and T'Pol agree for once, but Quantum ignores them anyway and then gets a particle blast for his trouble. Hoshi and Mayflower seem to do little other than discuss a bad movie and play "Truth, Dare, Double-Dare, Promise or Repeat." Mayflower chooses dare. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
A mottled Suliban is strapped to a chair, as tubes in his face pump stuff in and out. "This wasn't part of our agreement," the Suliban says angrily. Camera pans up, and we see we're back in The Trippy Shower Room from the series premiere. And what goes well with the Trippy Shower Room? Right -- Mr. Shower Shadow in his Cylinder Of Mysterious Light, acting and speaking very Darth Sidiously. "You failed in your last mission," Shower Shadow reverberates. "The Klingon Empire is intact. You knew there would be consequences." Another Suliban light-trails behind the tied-up Suliban (I don't think I'm ruining anyone's day by acknowledging that the tied-up one is Silik, considering that he was the only one who conversed with Shower Shadow in the first episode) as he prepares some evil-looking implements. "Please, I won't disappoint you again," Silik says. "We'll restore it, but only if you succeed in your mission," Shower Shadow says. "But you're disabling me," Silik whispers. "You won't need enhanced vision where you're going," Shower Shadow tells him. "Proceed with the extraction." Helper Suliban walks over to Silik, brandishing a metal tool, which slowly deploys a very long and thick needle. Ugh. Scary flashbacks to my childhood, when my dentists had to manually "extract" nearly all my baby teeth -- as well as a few permanent ones -- because they didn't fall out on their own, and my mouth was too small to house all of them. I only have twenty-four teeth now. Helper Suliban moves the needle closer to Silik's eye; Silik whimpers. Okay, I'm a bit ooked out by that.
Thank the Great Flume of Agosoria I won't have to hear this theme song again until January 23rd. Except for those times at 2 AM when I awaken, soused in a cold sweat, keening, "And they're not going to hold me down no more, no they're not going to change my mind!"
I've started seeing a sleep therapist.
Enterprise. Hoshi and Mayflower-Power chat in the turbo lift. "Hey, where were you last night?" Mayflower asks Hoshi. Hoshi tells him she went to bed early. Mayflower tells her she didn't miss much. "What did they show?" Hoshi asks. "Night of the Killer Androids," Mayflower says. "That bad?" Hoshi asks. Mayflower complains that, as they've got fifty thousand movies in the database, there must be something worth watching. Seriously -- I'm sure all the seasons of Buffy are out on DVD by then. "You could always read a book," Hoshi suggests, her voice lowered to imply that she's being scandalous in an ironic sort of way. Mayflower considers this as they join Reed on the bridge. "Ensigns," he greets them. "Enjoy the show last night?" One side of his face twitches in a half-smile. Mayflower gives a good impression of food poisoning in response, which makes Reed chuckle. "Those are two hours of my life I'd rather have back," he says. You got off easy, my friend; there's some twelve-odd hours of my life I'll never get back. Although I have to give the show props for alluding to something as ordinary as crewmen watching movies. As far as we know, the crew of TNG never did -- they either read, played poker, or cavorted in various holodeck programs. Kind of reminds me of M*A*S*H when Radar would try to get the current reels and the 4077 would be at the mercy of whatever horrific Ronald Reagan films ICOR sent them.
Captain's Mess. Quantum drinks his juice, while reading his morning e-pad. A crewman walks in, carrying two plates. Looks like toast on one and eggs and something red -- tomatoes? -- on another. He greets the captain. "Morning, Daniels. [Oops, they gave him a name. Time to chisel up a headstone.] I thought this was Taylor's shift," Quantum says. Daniels tells him he switched with Taylor. "Sir, I noticed we changed course," Daniels comments. "May I ask why?" Quantum tells him there's stellar nursery nearby in which they detected a few ships and says, "We thought we might go say hello." Is that the same stellar nursery they considered too boring to warrant notice in the last episode? Daniels asks if he can get anything else for Quantum's stomach. "No, thanks. I'm fine," Quantum tells him. On second viewing, I noticed something kind of cool, and since there's so little to be interested by on this show, I'm going to share it with you all. As Daniels leaves, Quantum picks up something from the table. It's made of metal with a long, thin stem that terminates in a round ball. Holding the stem, Quantum shakes the ball part over his food before putting it back in its holder to another identical device. I think it's a salt or pepper shaker. I want a set.
Bridge. "What've you got?" Quantum asks, strolling up to Mayflower, who tells him they've found one of the ships. "Put it up," Quantum orders. The ship, sailing through heaven-like purpley-bluey clouds, appears on the view screen. T'Pol reports, "It appears to be a transport vessel." "Hail them," Quantum orders, ready to charm these new aliens with his toothy smile and dull wit. "They're responding," Hoshi says and flicks the transmission on. An alien with a bumpy dark green face (kinda like an avocado) appears: "Can I help you?" "My name is Archer. I'm captain of the starship Enterprise. We are from Earth. We thought we'd introduce ourselves." Quantum smugly looks around the bridge at his crew as he delivers his speech. "Pleased to meet you -- whatta ya want?" Captain Avocado demands impatiently. Ha! Quantum is a bit taken aback, and says they don't want anything, but since they're new to those parts, they're itching to make contact with "other species." Why don't they just bring over a nice casserole like everyone else and leave it at that? "Oh," Captain Avocado half-groans. I'll bet there's a whole host of species out there that run and hide when they detect an Earth vessel approaching. "Oh, jeez, it's those annoying humans again, all eager for 'first contact.' We don't have time for this. Activate cloaking device." Quantum goes on, oblivious to Captain Avocado's reluctance to talk to him: "If you don't mind me asking, what brings you here?" "A job," Captain Avocado says, then further explains that he's transporting a bunch of "spiritually-minded men" to view the Great Plume of Agosoria. Naturally, Quantum doesn't know what that is. Capt. Avocado explains, "Every eleven years, one of the protostars gives out a neutron blast. These gentlemen believe it's a sacred event. If you ask me, I think it's just another ball of hydrogen." Not unlike Quantum. ["Heh. I think you meant 'methane.'" -- Sars] T'Pol asks when the eruption's going to take place, and Capt. Avocado tells her it's "tomorrow." Predictably, Quantum asks if they can join in on the sacred fun. "It's your time to waste," Capt. Avocado snarks. Quantum puffs himself up even more and invites Capt. Avocado and his religious cargo to visit Enterprise. "I'll ask them if they're interested. I prefer to stay with my ship," Capt. Avocado responds. "I understand, mister --?" Quantum prompts. "Fraddock, Captain Fraddock," Capt. Avocado says, and bleeps off-screen. "Looks like we might be having guests," Quantum smirks to his crew. "Tell Chef to prepare...something." Yes, prepare the guest rooms, and instruct the aliens not to eat the decorative hand soaps.
Before the series started, I was truly excited about this new set. It was new. It was different. Now it's blah. Monotonous. And seriously subject to getting on my nerves, which, by this point, have already been stretched, salted, and left to dry in the sun. I'll bet I never would have noticed how bored out of my gourd I am by the set if the acting hadn't been as enthralling as an actuary at an actuarially-themed cocktail party. All that's left to me now is getting legless on Post Road Pumpkin Ale brewed in Utica, NY.
A view from outer space reveals Enterprise to be about four times the size of Fraddock the Haddock's ship as the two are locked together, side-by-side. That should make Quantum feel superior. "Seal's good," Trip says to the captain. I agree; in fact, "Crazy" is one of my favorite songs. Oh, he means the docking seal. Shut up. Quantum opens the door and welcomes the newcomers aboard. Quantum introduces himself and extends his hand. When the alien pauses, Quantum says, "It's customary on Earth to greet someone with a handshake," and demonstrates. Typical Earthist. What if it's against their religion or morals to touch hands? I'm sure there must have been a TNG or TOS episode about that. "I'm Prah Mantoos. May Agosoria embrace you into his cycle of renewal," the religious sect leader says. "Thanks," Quantum says, exchanging a look with Trip. Prah introduces the rest of Heaven's Gate. "These are my fellow celebrants," he says, as one particularly sinister-looking cloaked individual steps onto the ship behind the group. "We've traveled many light years from different worlds to watch this event," Presuming Prah says, nervously rubbing his hands together. Quantum probably infected him with a virus he picked up from the E. coli. Trip introduces himself and T'Pol. Of course, Trip's Southern modesty prevents him from divulging his real title, so he tells them he's "Chief Engineer," rather than "Pewp Engineer." "For you, Captain," Presuming Prah says, handing over a circular glass object with etchings on it. "It's beautiful," Quantum says, uncertainly. "What is it?" Presuming Prah tells him it's a clock that charts time from the beginning of the universe. That's useful. Another Heaven's Gater hands over a glass tube of red liquid to Trip, saying, "Voo-Sinteel. It's a spirit traditionally consumed as the plume reaches its full brilliance. You'll find it enhances the experience." "Mmm, I'm sure it does," Trip says, grinning. Can I buy that locally?
During the gift-giving, the particularly sinister-looking cloaked individual has been walking the circumference of the Heaven's Gaters, just begging to be noticed for how sinister he is. Since the Heaven's Gate crew seems to have small horns on their faces, the cloaked and sinister individual reminds me way too much of a Caucasian Darth Maul. Sans light saber. At least, so far. Quantum thanks them for their generosity and says the only thing they have to offer them in return is the hospitality of the ship. "That will be more than enough," Presuming Prah whinnies. Quantum says that Chef is replicating up a reconstituted feast in their honor. Presuming Prah tells him that normally they fast during the Time of Agosoria, "but in this case, I suppose we can break with tradition!" How convenient to get such open-minded aliens who are willing to bypass a religious tradition just because Quantum told Chef to replicate food for them. Quantum escorts Presuming Prah to the interior of the ship, and the rest of Heaven's Gate follows. Caucasian Darth Maul also follows, sinisterly. I miss the red dress Picard wore on festive and ceremonial occasions.
Enterprise Mess. Heaven's Gaters mill about with some Enterprise crewmembers, eating, drinking, comparing horns. Presuming Prah comments to Quantum that Enterprise has traveled far in the short time they've been in space. "A warp five'll git yuh where yer goin', pritty fast," Trip butts in. Quantum chatters that they've seen a lot since they left Earth, but "this place is definitely one of the highlights." Would that be damnation with faint praise or a backhanded compliment? I'm never certain. ["I think 'garden-variety Quantum blithering' is the phrase you're looking for." -- Sars] Presuming Prah examines a snifter of something and says he's glad Quantum appreciates the beauty of the stellar nursery, but it's more than that to them. "According to our sacred texts, this is where the universe began," Presuming Prah says. "And the Great Plume of Aga -- Aga --" Trip bumbles. Aga Khan? "Agosoria," Darth Maul supplies for him. Oh. "Agosoria. How does that fit in?" Trip asks. Presuming Prah tells him that it represents the eternal creation cycle. Phlox muses that it's similar to the Hindu religion on Earth: "They also believe that the Earth goes through repeated cycles of rebirth." Quantum says he didn't know Phlox found religion on Earth. "Oh, yes," Phlox sings out. "In fact, while I was there, I made it a point to study a number of them. I spent two weeks at a Tibetan monastery where I learned to sing the chords with the High Lamas. I attended mass at St. Peter's Square. I was even allowed to observe the Tal-Shanar at the Vulcan Consulate." Go, Phlox. But no Wiccan rites of dancing naked around the fire, dousing his earlobes with the sweat of a three-legged moose? Too bad. T'Pol's lips look relatively unimpressed with Phlox's scattered religious experiences. Darth Maul turns to her and says, "I understand Vulcans are a deeply spiritual people." T'Pol answers, "Our beliefs are based on logic and the pursuit of clarity." Since there's not much to say to that, Darth Maul asks Quantum if he's a believer of anything. Quantum's vanilla pudding response: "I guess you could say I keep an open mind." Ah, a Unitarian. Presuming Prah tells him that many people are inspired by the Plume: "Perhaps you will be, too." Quantum smiles and goes with it.
Bridge. Hoshi walks in, and Mayflower pipes up, "Did you get to meet them?" Hoshi said she met two, "Briefly." Reed asks what they were like. "Uh, quiet. They're taking a tour of the ship," Hoshi tells them. "Looks like the Captain's going all out," Mayflower grins. Please -- Quantum offers tours of Enterprise whenever a star goes supernova. "I hope he's not planning to show them the Armory," Reed crabs. "Don't worry, Lieutenant, they didn't look like the types who'd go around stealing military secrets," Hoshi says. That's exactly the kind of attitude that started the Cold War. Seriously. I just saw Spy Game, and joking about military secrets just isn't a laughing matter. "We're not familiar with these species. Our tactical systems should be off-limits," Reed says firmly. Reed is the only human to show any common sense on this ship. Come to think of it, he's the only one to show sense of any kind, common or not. The rest are all a bunch of too-trusting nitwits. Reed notes that some sensor or another is "down again." Hoshi offers to call Engineering, but Reed says he'll do it himself. "It'll only take a minute. You have the bridge, Ensign," Reed says to Mayflower, and leaves. See, that's being responsible -- Quantum doesn't do that.
Hoshi gets an impish look on her face and leans over to Acting Captain Mayflower. "Aren't you going to take the chair?" she asks. Mayflower doesn't get what she means. "You're in command," Hoshi explains, looking over at the Porsche seat. Mayflower looks over too and laughs, "I'm fine right here." Hoshi gets even more mischievous and asks, "Haven't you ever wondered what it's like?" Mayflower says he thinks he can wait until he's promoted. I wouldn't hold your breath, Harry Kim. "Okay..." Hoshi says, teasingly. Mayflower looks at her again and grins. He gets up, and scoots over to the chair, and sits reverently. "Nice fit," Hoshi comments. "The Bridge looks a lot different from here," Mayflower says, and flips open a control screen on one of the armrests. Of course, he's not interested in the seat warmer or massage elements of the chair. "Do you think anyone would mind if I fired a torpedo?" he asks just as Reed walks in. Reed stops in his tracks at the sight of Acting Captain Mayflower, who quickly stands up and closes the control screen. "Permission to take my station?" Reed asks. Mayflower apologizes and scurries back to his usual place at the helm under Reed's amused gaze.
Whatever, Victoria's Secret. You know they spray all their areas with glue, don't you? Oh, sorry -- did I destroy your fantasy life?
Engineering. Just in case we think this episode's any different from all the others, Trip shows off his warp reactor and explains how it works. Set phasers on multiple yawns. Condescendingly enough, Trip seems to think that his visitors are warp-ignorant, so he explains the reactor in the simplest terms possible. "We channel the energy through those conduits over there and they lead to the two glowing cylinders you might have seen on the outside of the ship," Trip says, gesturing wildly. "The nacelles," Darth Maul states, as other Heaven's Gaters nod in agreement. Trip is thrilled that he managed to teach these simple aliens something of the advanced technology of Earth. "That's right," he says. "Which contain warp coils that create the subspace displacement field, " Darth Maul finishes. Trip deflates, and says, "I see...you already know a thing or two about starship engines." Darth Maul says he's a Warp Field Theorist. Hey, I think that's what Mathra's conference is about this week. "Oh," Trip says, deflating even more. "Well. I guess that covers the basics. Any questions?" "How do you regulate positron flow in your dilithium matrix?" a Heaven's Gater asks. Trip gets excited and says he'll show them the reactor schematics. I don't think Reed would approve of all this disclosure. The group follows Trip, but Darth Maul decides he'd rather open a reactor panel and pull a plug out. He squeedges his arm up into the panel in order to do it. Hmm -- last time we saw a move like that, it was a Suliban squeedging under a silo door. I wonder what on Earth they could be trying to tell us -- the writing is too sly for me to figure it out. Darth Maul sidles back to rejoin the rest of the cult.
Bridge. Fraddock alerts the Enterprise crew of a plasma storm brewing ahead of them. T'Pol tells him they're well aware of the weather report. "You ever been in a plasma storm?" Fraddock asks. "Twice," T'Pol tells him. "Then you know it can get a little bumpy. I suggest we try and go around it," Fraddock suggests. T'Pol agrees and turns to Mayflower. "Ensign," she starts to say. "I'm already on it," Mayflower tells her.
Sick bay. Phlox slides a Heaven's Gater out of the Cat scan tube and shows the resulting scans on the viewer. "There's your heart, lungs, liver, another heart -- every organ. This imaging device also allows us to examine your genetic structure," Phlox explains, punching something up. Interesting that the image shows the alien to have the exact same rib cage architecture as a human. Using the little-known definition of "interesting," which means "unimaginative and stupid." "You'll be happy to know that you are in perfect health. Who wants to go ?" Phlox asks. The ship shudders. Quantum excuses himself and comms T'Pol to find out what's going down. T'Pol tells him it's just a bit of plasma hail and she's got it under control. Quantum returns to his guests.
Bridge. Enterprise is rocked again by plasma turbulence, and the lights flicker. Reed reports, "That one hit our port bow. Power's down on C-Deck, Subsection Four. No other damage." What about the poor knobs in C-Deck, Subsection Four who were surfing the net? Aren't they going to fix it? T'Pol asks Mayflower what he can do to get around the storm. Mayflower reports that the storm is heading right towards them, so it's hard to navigate. "What about the transport ship?" T'Pol asks. Mayflower says he's far enough ahead of them that he made it through.
Engineering. More plasma turbulence to the ship, causing power fluctuations. As the Heaven's Gaters watch, Trip scampers down the stairs and says, "We've got a power surge in the impulse relays. Here's a good example of how we can reroute the energy flow to protect our critical systems." He appears very excited about this.
Sick bay. More rocking of the ship. Quantum finally decides he's really and truly in desperate need of Dramamine and leaves his guests, saying he'll have to cut their tour short. "I'll be on the Bridge," he announces as he heaves. I mean, leaves.
More power outages on other parts of the ship; Daniels looks concerned that they won't be able to finish his headstone in time.
Enterprise takes a few direct hits from the plasma lightning. The Bridge crew calibrates and depolarizes stuff. Quantum walks onto the Bridge and demands a report. "We're losing main power," Reed tells him. Quantum comms Trip to tell him what's happening.
Engineering. Trip desperately works on the systems as the Heaven's Gaters watch from the catwalks. Aren't you glad you used Dial? "That last bolt struck the warp manifold," Trip shouts to Quantum, "We've got an antimatter cascade, sir, if it reaches the warp reactor, we're gonna --" He's cut off by a series of explosions running up the sides of the manifold towards the reactor. The cascade hits one manifold and immediately defuses. Tiny bolts of lightning run off the side of the manifold, reminiscent of Darth Vader picking up the Emperor and throwing him over the side, his sparking fingers a-flailing.
Bridge. Power comes back on. In Engineering, Trip tells Quantum he thinks they're okay, because it would appear that the cascade stopped itself. "Good work, Trip," Quantum says heavily. Trip looks around Engineering and says, "It wunnit me, sir." Darth Maul looks sinister even as he attempts to look innocent.
Quantum apologizes to Presuming Prah about the weather as he walks him to the docking seal. Presuming Prah tells him they're used to it, and he's glad there wasn't any serious damage. "If any of your group would like to watch the Great Plume from our mess hall, they're welcome to come back tomorrow," Quantum offers. "I'll let them know," Presuming Prah says. Quantum turns to Phlox and tells him to have a great time. "I plan to, Captain. Thank you for letting me spend the night with these people," Phlox says, fiddling with his Exposition Phaser. Quantum tells him he'll expect a full report in the morning, and bids the rest of the Heaven's Gaters farewell for the nonce. Trip comms Quantum nervously and tells him he needs to speak to him in Engineering. "On my way," Quantum says. I really hope Phlox learned from Trip's Xyrillian example and has brought along some sort of protection.
Engineering. Trip shows Quantum the panel with the unplugged do-hickey. Trip explains that the conduit (i.e. "the do-hickey") is at an anti-matter junction, and its being unplugged stopped the cascade from reaching the warp reactor. Quantum asks, "What are you getting at?" Duh -- even I know what would have happened, and I didn't study warp cores in college. Trip says, "Somebody got in here and disconnected it from the primary anti-matter feed. If they hadn't, that cascade would have continued right into the reactor core and this ship would have gone up like the Great Plume of Agosoria." You dork. Quantum suggests that it was a member of Trip's staff, but Trip says he's questioned everyone, and all deny knowledge. "Sounds to me like you've got a hero who's a little reluctant about taking credit," Quantum says. "Talk to them again. Whoever did this deserves a commendation." Sounds to me like you've got a captain who's too stupid to recognize the obvious. Nab the dude who's lugging around a Ph.D in Warp Field Theory. Just a thought. Trip continues to insist that he doesn't think it was one of his "peepol."
In his quarters, Quantum questions Fraddock about the warp conduit thingy. Hey, I thought Fraddock didn't want to leave his own ship. If Quantum wanted a favor from him, shouldn't he go over to the transport ship instead of making Fraddock board Enterprise to be interrogated? Fraddock tells Quantum he spoke with everyone aboard his ship, and they don't know from nuthin'. "What about the warp theorist?" Trip asks. "Him, too. None of them ever went near that conduit. If I told you that I did it, would there be some kind of reward?" Fraddock asks. Quantum just thanks him in a "You're now dismissed, alien" sort of way. "Well, maybe it was the Cycle of Renewal," Fraddock hazards, as he starts to take his leave. "If anyone comes forward, you'll let me know?" Quantum asks. "Oh, you'll be the first," Fraddock says and leaves. Trip and Quantum exchange their usual frathead look as Trip sees Fraddock safely out. Quantum sighs in frustration.
Walking along the corridors, Quantum is waylaid by Daniels, who tells him he needs to speak to him. "Why don't you talk to one of my Bridge officers, I'm a little busy right now," Quantum snaps. Daniels tells him it's very important. Of course it is, he's going to die in this episode, so anything he says is of vital importance. "I'm sorry, Daniels, but I've got my hands full," Quantum says, giving him the old brush-off. Finally, Daniels says he needs to talk to him about the Suliban. This gets Quantum's full attention: "What about them?" Daniels says he thinks one of the Heaven's Gaters is Silik, the self-same Suliban Quantum had words with in the Apple Core Helix. Quantum wants to know what he knows about the goings-on in the Apple Core Helix. As a crewman walks by, Daniels says he thinks they should speak in Pig Latin. Or it may have been "in private." I don't remember, because suddenly my head became completely Novocained with boredom. "My ready room," Quantum says, glaring at him. "I think it would be better if we went to my quarters," Daniels suggests. "What?!" Quantum demands, primed to hand him a dishonorable discharge for such insubordinate behavior. Get a lifeform, Quantum. Daniels explains that the captain will understand when he gets there.
Daniels's quarters. Daniels hastily cleans a few things up, saying, "Sorry about the mess. Sometimes I think my bunkmate majored in Chaos Theory." Warp Field Theory, Chaos Theory...just add String Theory and Game Theory and they'll have successfully name-dropped all the pop-culture theories. Daniels pulls a James Bondian metal suitcase out of his locker. "What is that?" Quantum asks, as Daniels opens it and pulls out a Discman-type dealie-bob. "It doesn't look like Starfleet issue." Daniels tells Quantum he's not a card-carrying member of Starfleet and says, "Not that I wouldn't be honored to be one, sir. Especially after spending time --" "Who are you?" Quantum demands, interrupting him, "And how do you know what happened on the Helix?" Please, please, please don't have Daniels use that stupid line, "The question is not who am I, but where am I," because then I'll have to smash my TV in and I can't afford to buy another. Luckily for my recapping career, Daniels responds with, "Did Silik tell you who he was working for?" Quantum blusters that he's the one asking the questions, "crewman." Daniels ignores Quantum's italics and asks if Silik ever mentioned the Temporal Cold War. "What do you know about that?" Quantum asks. "A great deal more than you do, sir," Daniels says. Somehow, I think there are a lot of people out there who know a great deal more than Quantum does, "sir." "If you're not a member of Starfleet, then who are you?" Quantum asks. "I work for a different kind of organization. We make sure that people like Silik don't interfere with historical events," Daniels explains. Quantum says he's never heard of an organization like that. What this man doesn't know could runneth over a landfill and still have room for lunch. Daniels tells him he doesn't know about the organization, because it doesn't exist yet. "So, you're telling me you're some kind of a time traveler," Quantum says, slowly sounding out his words like Bert on Sesame Street. Daniels says, "That's one way of putting it. Maybe this will help clear things up."
He activates his Discman, and suddenly, he and Quantum are surrounded by a Pink Floyd laser light show. Threads, spheres, and whirligigs of different colors, shapes, and light intensities revolve around them. Man, slug down some of that red Vindaloo-Sinteel and stand in the middle of that trip-ocity. Daniels explains that this "Temporal Observatory" is how they keep track of all the stitches in time that save nine. He points out a few events, and shows where he's from: "Approximately nine hundred years from now." Now that's exactly what I need for my living room. Maybe then I will finally understand "Time's Arrow" and "Yesterday's Enterprise." Quantum dazedly asks if Daniels is human. "More or less," Daniels says, unhelpfully. Daniels also points out Silik and Co.'s century, explaining, "They can't manifest themselves physically in the past. They can only partially materialize to deliver information." "But not you," Quantum states. Daniels says that they finally managed to perfect the materialization process. Which means, of course, that you are more susceptible to the red shirt's fate. With partial materialization, my guess is that you could only partially die if mortally wounded. Full materialization would make you very vulnerable. Quantum comments that it sounds dangerous. Daniels explains that, with the advent of time travel, laws had to be laid down and enforced to prevent people like Silik from going back and forth and screwing things up, so it was decided that time travel could be used only for research. "But it wasn't," Quantum muses. "That's what the Temporal Cold War is all about." Daniels nods delightedly and points out researchers from the twenty-eighth century observing the barn-raising of the Great Pyramid at Giza. "They're doing it using the proper procedure set for in the Temporal Accord," Daniels says, "but there are factions that ignore those procedures." Quantum asks why he's telling him all this, and Daniels shuts down the laser show.
Quantum looks around the cabin in confusion, not comprehending where "Learning To Fly" went. Man, he's like a dog tricked into thinking a ball was thrown when it's really still in his owner's hand. Daniels tells him that Silik prevented the reactor breach, and Quantum is befuddled as to why Silik was sent to save Enterprise. Daniels can't answer that and says he was just assigned there to capture Silik when he came aboard. He needs Quantum's help to do this. "You're from nine hundred years in the future and you need my help?" Quantum asks. Daniels clarifies that the Suliban's genetic tinkerings allow them to slip under most sensor sweeps. "They're nearly impossible to detect," he says. Quantum snorts that he's noticed that. Daniels says he has equipment to help him detect Silik. "But it would be far more effective if I can tie it into your internal sensor grid. I'll need access to main engineering and your command codes." Handing over command codes, or even just the request to divulge the command codes, was a major no-no on TNG. Daniels says they have credible evidence that the twenty-second century is being used as a front in the TCW (Temporal Cold War), and what happens in the twenty-second century "could affect millennia to come." Daniels says they need to find out who Silik is working for and what he's after. Quantum says, "If I decide to help you, I can't do it alone. I'll need to inform some of my crew." "The fewer the better," Daniels says. "You're asking me to capture someone who just saved my ship. Why should I trust you?" Quantum asks. Well, you should remember that Silik did try to murder you last time you saw him. But Daniels has a better reason: "You like your scrambled eggs soft. Have I ever brought them to you any other way?" he asks. LAME! I am simply agog with astonishment at how easily Quantum is persuaded into things. Simply agog. Flash a few pretty lights at him, mention a breakfast food, and he's ready to believe anyone who's got a Temporal bridge to sell him. I really hope he consults and actually takes T'Pol's advice on this one, because based on the drool hanging from his lower lip, I can't say I put much faith in his mental abilities.
Captain's Ready Room. Quantum pours out two sherry glasses full of the Vindaloo-Sinteel liqueur. It looks like Kool-Aid. "You sure you don't want a glass?" he asks T'Pol. T'Pol's sure. I thought they were supposed to drink that during the Great Flume to "enhance the experience." There's not going to be much enhancement going on in Quantum's dark ready-or-not room. T'Pol tells them that the Vulcans have studied the concept of time travel "in great detail," but have discovered no evidence that it exists or will ever exist. Quantum says that Sarin -- the Suliban chick who kissed him in order to determine if he was trustworthy in "Broken Bow" -- also mentioned the TCW. "That's what Daniels called it?" Trip asks. "The same words," Quantum confirms. T'Pol points out that that proves a little less than zip. Quantum rolls his eyes at T'Pol and reminds them of Phlox's comment that the Suliban's genetic alterations are far beyond their present-day technologies. "That doesn't mean that it was given to them by visitors from the future," T'Pol says, and Quantum rolls his eyes again. He's been recently diagnosed with logicus phobiacocci. One of the side effects is uncontrollable rolling of the eyeballs, which is triggered by any expression of common sense or intelligence. "Until Daniels can offer you concrete proof, I'd remain extremely skeptical," T'Pol finishes. Quantum seems to emphatically believe that Daniels's laser show is proof enough that he's telling the truth. Trip reminds him that his experience in the Xyrillian holographic chamber was also mind-blowing enough to convince him that he was in a real boat on a real lake when it was all just virtual reality. "If what Daniels says is true, then Silik saved Enterprise. Maybe we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth," Trip finishes. And if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun.
Quantum decides that including T'Pol in his conversation is unnecessary; he turns his back on her and tells Trip they can't risk ignoring Daniels's request if there's a chance that he's being truthful about the TCW. And that doesn't really make sense to me. I mean, even if the TCW does exist, how do they know Daniels is the one to trust? His truth-telling record isn't exactly stellar at this juncture. Hoshi comms Quantum that they're approaching the protostar, and some of the members of Heaven's Gate want to take him up on his offer of watching the Great Flume from the Mess Hall. Quantum acknowledges. "One of them might be Silik," Quantum says to T'Pol. "We don't have time to debate this any longer. I want you to help Daniels." He puts his glass down and leaves. Why does he even bother with the pretense of asking for anyone else's opinion? His ego never goes with it. I just realized something -- isn't he on duty? He made such a big deal about not having Dralaxian whisky with Capt. Coma, and his excuse was that he was on duty. Yet, now he thinks it's okay to drink some alien Babysham -- which has been guaranteed to alter his perception of things -- at a time when he and his crew are facing a potentially hostile intruder on their ship, not to mention the general confusion over temporal stuff?
On the turbo lift, Trip tries to wax philosophical about meeting people from other time zones, but T'Pol wanes him by stating, "If Daniels could travel through time, why not simply go back one more day into the past and prevent Silik from boarding this ship in the first place." My guess would be because, as he explained to Quantum, his instruments are not sufficient to locate the Suliban in disguise. I mean, assuming that Quantum told T'Pol and Trip everything, including the reason why Daniels needs access to Engineering and the command codes, she would already know that. Then again, it's hard to discern whether (a) the writers intended T'Pol to make this suggestion in order to show that she's not fully apprised of all the facts, as we are, which would then imply that Quantum wasn't completely forthright, or if (b) it's just lazy writing. I can't even think straight anymore. Trip asks why Daniels would make up "such a crazy story," and T'Pol suggests it's because he's concealing his "true intentions." Trip says, "I thought you scientists were supposed to keep an open mind." "There's a difference between keeping an open mind and believing something because you want it to be true," T'Pol responds before getting off the turbo lift. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Trip bumbles. It means no pee-can pie for you today. Seriously, Trip, man -- just go back to being governor of Texas. You don't have the brain nacelles for anything else.
Mess Hall. Quantum looks suspiciously around at the Heaven's Gate gathering, trying to suss out Silik the Suliban spy. Phlox has returned from his sleepover, and babbles to the captain in alien-speak. "That is a traditional greeting on the morning of Agosoria, Captain. It means: 'May the Plume light your way,'" he tells him, while waving his arms dramatically. "I take it you enjoyed your visit," Quantum says humorlessly. Phlox tells him it was "mesmerizing," and gives details about the four-hour prayer and the intense physical activities he participated in, which made him pull a leg muscle. Quantum asks how many Heaven's Gaters decided to watch from Enterprise, and Phlox guesses eleven. "So that leaves six on the transport?" Quantum asks, circling the room like a demented shark. Phlox says, "I didn't take a head count, but that sounds about right." Quantum asks if any of the Heaven's Gaters seemed out of place on the transport ship, or if they all took part in the rituals. Phlox says he assumes they did, but he can't be certain since their eyes were closed most of the time. "Is there something wrong, Captain?" Phlox finally asks, tired of this ambiguous line of questioning. "No, just curious," Quantum says, still scanning the gathering for Suliban slime. Phlox hazards, "You seem a little preoccupied." Quantum tells him curtly, "It's been a long night. I'm glad you had a good time. Enjoy the view." He leaves the Mess. "I will," Phlox shrugs to himself.
Engineering. Daniels techno-babbles to T'Pol and Trip as he fiddles with various functions on the warp reactor. Trip can't get over Daniels's deception, and keeps asking questions like, "So I take it yer brother innit rilly an orbital engineer at Jupiter Station." Daniels says he doesn't even have a brother. "And yew didn't grow up in Illinois," Trip states. "Oh, I'm from a place called Illinois, sir, just not the one you're familiar with," Daniels responds. Trip comments that he's happy to hear Earth's still around in nine hundred years. "That depends on how you define Earth," Daniels says, before walking off. I hate it when people like Daniels have to be so smugly enigmatical about themselves. He might as well run around saying, "I've got a secret. Nanny nanny boo boo!" More techno-babble as Daniels prepares to route more power to his gadgets. Trip looks at one of Daniels's gadgets and asks him what it is. "It's very delicate. Please don't --" Daniels starts to say, but Trip has already picked it up and activated some graphic light projection. It's not the Temporal Observatory that Daniels showed Quantum, but it's along the same lines. "Please don't touch it," Daniels says, taking the thing away and shutting it off. Trip stands gaping like a torpid carp. Finally, he asks if Daniels can tell him how far the ship is going to go in the twenty-four hours so he can win the pool he and the rest of Engineering has going. Daniels smugs, "I'm afraid we don't monitor events quite that closely." T'Pol returns from her techno-fixing to tell them one of the power relays is offline. Trip comments that it probably happened during the plasma storm. He points out that the power relay is located behind a bulkhead and will take some time to get to. "I'll take care of it," Daniels says, calmly. He slips on a set of techno-brass knuckles, which allow him to pass right through the bulkhead. T'Pol and Trip exchange looks above T'Pol's unnecessarily outthrust chest. Daniels returns from the middle of the bulkhead and tells him he repaired the power relay. You know, throughout this scene, I couldn't get over the fact that they're unquestioningly allowing Daniels full access to so much stuff on the ship. But Trip did his carp impression again, so all became clear.
Quantum's Cabin. Quantum enters and is greeted by a barking Porthos. Actually, it's not so much a bark of greeting as it is a bark of warning. It's obvious to everyone but Captain Chucklehead that Porthos is barking at something in the room. Quantum dolts around, apologizing to the pup for being two hours late with his breakfast. Annoyed with his master, Porthos starts to growl. FINALLY Quantum looks around his cabin and sees a crumpled Heaven's Gate robe on his desk. He goes to hit the comm button, but Silik suddenly steps out of his chameleon hiding. "If you're thinking of calling for help, I'd advise against it," Silik says, smoothly. "I'm not the one you should be worried about, Jon." Silik announces that he was the one who stopped the anti-matter cascade and asks who on the ship is looking for him. Quantum plays dumb. It's the one thing he could get an Emmy for. "Did they tell you that ridiculous story about their noble efforts to protect history?" Silik asks. "The great Temporal Accord? They're lying to you, Jon. None of it is true. Whoever contacted you is working for another faction. They didn't come here to protect history, they came to alter it." Silik also says that "they" are the ones who started the anti-matter cascade that would have destroyed the ship if he hadn't been sent to stop it. Quantum doesn't understand why Silik would want to save them when he wanted to kill Quantum on the Apple Core Helix. "I saved your ship because I was instructed to," Silik says. Quantum wants to know who Silik works for and why Enterprise is involved in the TCW. Silik gets all NSA on him and says he's "not privy to that kind of information," but that whoever is looking for him is a danger to Enterprise. "And if you want to continue on your mission, you'll help me find them," Silik finishes. T'Pol comms Quantum. Silik pulls out a pistol and gestures at Quantum to answer. T'Pol reports that Daniels is done with his modifications and eager to get started. Silik smiles and says, "You've been very helpful, Jon." He blasts Quantum in the chest and leaves. Wow, that felt good! Porthos barks and whimpers beside his moronic master's face. I wonder if Hunca Munca and Poppadum would get along with a beagle.
Mess Hall. The Heaven's Gaters observe the coming of the Great Flume. Presuming Prah asks Phlox to lead them in the "Invocation of Renewal," and Phlox is very honored. He alien-speaks a bit, pauses, gets prompted by Presuming Prah, and continues as the other Heaven's Gaters join in unison. When he finishes, Phlox is all choked up.
Engineering. Daniels, T'Pol, and Trip determine that their adjustments are working, and Daniels detects Suliban bio-signs. "He's somewhere on this deck. I can't isolate him but he's close," Daniels says. Trip looks around wildly. "Call Lieutenant Reed, tell him to seal off C-Deck," Daniels instructs T'Pol. T'Pol leaves. "And it wouldn't hurt if he could get down here with a security team," he says to her retreating back. Trip keeps looking around and sees the Suliban shimmer in and out of chameleon-mode. "What's that?" he asks. Daniels and T'Pol look up and see nothing, but Daniels tells them they both should leave. Trip makes a pretense of arguing, but Daniels is insistent: "Go! Bring help. Go!" Trip shouts that everyone has to evacuate Engineering. I half expected the wall separating the warp reactor from the rest of Engineering to start lowering and for Trip to roll under it, making it out just in time. I guess only Geordi perfected that move. Once he's sure everyone has left Engineering, Daniels goes back to his controls but is faced with Silik holding a pistol. "Did they tell you that the twenty-second century was going to be your final resting place?" Silik asks before blasting him. Daniels's image shudders as light waves over it. Silik blasts again, and Daniels shatters like hard plastic. Didn't quite look as though he was made from organic material, did it? "Still skeptical?" Trip snits to T'Pol, and calls Quantum. Just because he got shattered doesn't mean he's from the future or that he's really on Starfleet's side! Of course, there's no response from Quantum. T'Pol checks the computer and determines that the captain is in his quarters. Trip comms Phlox and tells him to meet them at Quantum's cabin "on the double!" So Daniels is the first Enterprise casualty.
Quantum's Quarters. Phlox hyposprays Quantum back to consciousness. Quantum sits up and groans. "Aside from a nasty headache, you're going to be fine. You were stunned by a particle weapon," Phlox tells him. "It was Silik," Quantum grunts. "I guess he decided not to try and kill me this time." "He wasn't so generous when it came to Daniels. He's dead, sir," Trip reports mournfully. Quantum asks if the Heaven's Gaters have left yet, and T'Pol answers in the negative; the Great Flume has just started. Quantum calls Fraddock and asks if any of the people who came aboard have since returned to the transport ship. Fraddock says, "None," and Quantum asks if he's sure. "The hatch has been sealed the entire time," Fraddock tells him. How do we know he's not lying? I don't think he is, but it's kind of dicey figuring out who to trust when you don't have an Empath saying, "I sense he's being honest, Captain," at your disposal. Quantum signs off with Fraddock and tells Reed they have a Suliban running amok on the ship. "I want you to lock down every door and outer hatch. Post security teams on all decks," Quantum orders. Reed understands. Quantum asks Trip if he can trace the Suliban using Daniels's gadgets. "I kin sure as hell try," Trip responds, and hightails it to Engineering. Quantum signals T'Pol to follow him, and they leave his quarters. "Thanks, Doc," Quantum mutters.
Daniels's Cabin. Quantum rummages around and discovers that the Temporal Observatory Discman is gone. Neither T'Pol nor I are surprised by this development. Quantum growls that the possession of the TOD could give a huge advantage to whomever Silik is working for. Hoshi comms Quantum and tells him that someone sent a message through their comm system. "What kind of message?" Quantum asks. "It's encrypted, sir," she responds. Encrypted, huh? Too bad all the brilliant number theorists are in Canada this weekend -- they'd have that thing decrypted before you can say "Russell Crowe never should've been cast as John Nash."
Mess Hall. The Great Flume, uh, flumes. The Heaven's Gaters are enthralled, but Presuming Prah looks around for Phlox, sad that he missed it. Oh, the anvilicious irony of Daniels dying while the Cycle of Renewal, er, cycles.
Engineering. Trip can't figure out Daniels's sensor systems. "These might represent Suliban bio-signs, but I wouldn't bet on it," Trip tells Quantum. Elsewhere on the ship, Silik pulls off a panel and squeedges into the interior of the ship. In Engineering, Trip detects The Monster in the Machine and alerts Quantum, "B-Deck, Service Junction 59. Somebody's trying to bypass the lock-out codes for Launch Bay Two." Quantum heads out and tells Trip to get Reed and a security team to that location. Trip stops him: "I've got something that might give you a leg-up."
B-Deck, Service Junction 59. Reed and two crewmen fiddle with things. Quantum jogs up, and Reed reports, "It looks like he slipped through here. We could remove these conduits, but it would take some time." Quantum looks down at the techno-brass knuckles Trip gave him and activates it. "Sir?" Reed asks. Quantum sticks his hand out and watches it pass right through the mass of metal tubes and conduits. He and Reed look at each other, and Quantum holds out his hand. Always ready, Reed hands over a pistol from his stash. Quantum passes through to the other side. As much as I adore Reed, Worf would have never allowed Picard to go head-to-head with the Suliban alone. Reed and the security team stand ready.
Quantum sneaks up on Silik, who tells him he should be careful not to start another anti-matter cascade. Quantum orders him to put "the device" on the ground, but Silik tells him it would really be in Quantum's best interests if he took it away with him. Quantum snaps, "You keep saying you're here to help us, but I can't stop wondering what kind of genetic enhancements you'll get for bringing back that little prize. Eyes in the back of your head? A pair of wings?" Now that's a picture -- a Suliban flapping around with feathers saying, "Silly little man, Red Bull gives you wings!" Silik tells him not to be so cynical as the ship rocks. They're both thrown to the ground, and there's the usual tussle, in the middle of which Silik drops his gadget. He looks around for it, and as Quantum pulls out his pistol, Silik slips up through a top hatch. Mathra told me that he and a bunch of mathematicians in Banff assembled in someone's hotel room to watch this episode. The general consensus was that Quantum should have reached into Silik's chest with his techno brass knuckles, pulled out his heart, and shown it to him so he could see how black it was. Provided that a Suliban's heart is in his chest, of course. Quantum may have had to rummage around a bit before he located it.
Bridge. Mayflower reports a shuttle-pod-sized Suliban ship approaching. T'Pol glares into space.
Silik pops out of another panel into Launch Bay 2. He fiddles with the door, and opens it just as Quantum sneaks up on him and says, "I'm not going to ask you again. Put it down." Silik turns to scowl at him and asks, "You're going to kill me after I saved your life?" Quantum shifts his aim and blasts the gadget out of Silik's hand. It skitters into the corner, smoking. "You may have endangered your future, Jon," Silik spits out. Isn't that the stock threat from all time travelers? Silik goes through the door into the shuttle bay. Quantum hesitates, then follows him, but Silik has gone Karma Chameleon again so Quantum can't see him. Suddenly, the launch hatch opens and Quantum falls over the side of the railing, dropping his pistol. Okay, this is really going to be a tirade-a-licious scene, because first of all, he should have been SUCKED right out the hatch. He would not have the strength to cling to the railing all Luke-Skywalker-leaves-Cloud-City style. Plus, as he struggles and drops his techno-brass knuckles, it doesn't really look as though he's having any difficulty breathing, and by this point, there is absolutely no oxygen left in that room. Silik reappears as Quantum pulls himself back onto the catwalk. Still with the no-oxygen-having, Quantum takes the time to pause and watch Silik dive into the open portal. His blood should be boiling now, and his head wound would be spurting blood. Yet, it doesn't. Quantum struggles against the tremendous vacuum and gets back to the door to the rest of the ship. The oxygen that blows on him with the strength of a hairdryer should have blasted him right out of his Tick Underoos. But no, the writers would rather pretend Quantum's just leaving the Metrodome. He gets into the antechamber and fumbles with the buttons. There's a hissing sound, which presumably means he's flooding the chamber with oxygen, because now he can cough and wheeze dramatically.
Outer space. Silik goes into skydiver form and sails down to be picked up by his pod.
T'Pol comms Quantum that the Suliban pod "just took something in and went to warp." She asks if they should follow. Quantum gasps out to let them go.
Quantum's quarters. Quantum absently plays with the clock that Presuming Prah gave him. T'Pol enters and tells him that the transport vessel has left, and they're ready to resume their course. Quantum nods. T'Pol indicates the clock: "Have you learned how it works?" "Not a clue," Quantum tells her, then sighs, "Starfleet's in for one hell of a report. I'm not quite sure where to begin." T'Pol tells him she'd be "glad" to help him. Glad = emotion. Vulcans = emotionless. T'Pol = Vulcan. Jolene Blalock = drunk. Quantum nods at her answer and says, "First thing in the morning. I don't know about you but I could use a good night's sleep." "Agreed," T'Pol says as they leave. Camera pans to show a dramatic shot of the Heaven's Gate clock.
Bridge. Quantum orders Reed to assign new quarters to Daniels's Chaos Theory bunkmate. "And seal off cabin E-14. It's off-limits until further notice," Quantum says. Reed scampers off to comply. "God knows what else is in there," Quantum says to T'Pol. I'd guess, crusty peanut butter sandwiches, dirty socks, and The Idiot's Guide to Time Travel. Quantum pauses a moment to be introspective, but coming up empty-handed, he orders Mayflower to get them back "on the road." Quantum sits in his chair (I thought he was going to get a good night's sleep?) and ponders time, life, and soft scrambled eggs.
Reed sticks a Lo-Jack on Daniels's cabin door. He twists a dial that looks like an egg timer to activate it, and leaves. Pan to Dramatic Shot of blinking Lo-Jack as spooky music plays. Let me get this straight -- all they've managed to salvage of Daniels's futuristic toys is his sensor system -- which Trip can't figure out anyway -- and they still aren't curious about what other gizmos he might have in there? What knobs.
Well, no new episodes until January 23rd, so have fun catching up with the reruns and I'll see you in the forums!