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Wow, I haven't seen Jonny Lee Miller in anything since, like, Mansfield Park. He's the eponymous Eli Stone, who's a corporate lawyer working for a soulless San Franciscan firm. In case you've read nothing about the show, Eli's equally shallow and soulless life changes when he starts seeing visions, one of which is -- no lie -- George Michael. Eli's firm is representing a company that manufactures a vaccine that supposedly causes autism, and I don't suppose I need to get into the dodgy medicine of that when the American Academy of Pediatrics has already been screaming bloody murder for the past two days. Early on, a woman who's suing the vaccine manufacturer tries to get Eli to flip the script and help her. He refuses initially, but when an acupuncturist helps him remember that he and the woman had sex to a George Michael album fifteen years earlier (no, really), Eli goes to see her again, meeting her autistic son in the process, and before you know it, he's asking to take the case. Firm bigwigs Tom Amandes and Victor Garber are delightfully bemused at Eli's behavior, but Eli babblingly convinces them to grant his wish. As the episode goes on, it becomes clear that the visions all relate to Eli's past, and the acupuncturist helps him to unlock their meanings. Also, Eli's fiancée, played by Natasha Henstridge, is Victor Garber's daughter. After Eli has another vision that causes him to come dangerously close to jumping off a ledge, his doctor brother breaks the news that like their father, Eli has a brain aneurysm that's causing him to be intermittently delusional, and worse, the aneurysm is inoperable. This leads to self-recriminations on Eli's part for thinking for years that his dad's erratic behavior was due to alcoholism rather than the brain defect, and also to an existential debate in which the acupuncturist tries to convince a skeptical Eli that he's not delusional but prophetic. This gives Eli the confidence to bring the case on home, and in the end, he goes to India to scatter his father's ashes. I was a little skeptical myself for the first half, but the second half brought it on home, and Jonny Lee Miller is really quite engaging. Gotta have faith in Berlanti! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Before I start, I just want to say that as I mentioned in the recaplet, there was a big brouhaha over the storyline in this episode involving a preservative in a vaccine causing autism. The American Academy of Pediatrics took umbrage at that depiction, worrying that it would prompt parents to shy away from getting their kids inoculated against diseases. My personal viewpoint is that if you base your life decisions on the content of medical storylines on television, perhaps your license to watch the tube should be revoked, followed immediately by your license to have any more children. However, I'm not going to dwell on that, because dissecting the dodgy legal proceedings is going to be time-consuming enough for me without bringing the medicine into it.
One more thing. Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie may have taken your hairline in the divorce settlement, but you are still adorable.
From a quick opening shot of the sky, we descend to a valley surrounded by snowy mountains, and the caption reads "Mundoli Village, India." We see locals doing whatever it is locals do, and then we see Mr. Miller, who's clad in a three-piece suit and sitting in an open shack, a leather luggage set to him. I know we're immediately meant to learn that he's out of place here, but I still think the suit is a bit much. I mean, a Patagonia jacket would have been a lot more practical, while still looking almost as incongruous in this rustic setting. When two Sherpa types approach, beasts of burden in hand, he asks if they're his guides, and then introduces himself as the eponymous lead character, Eli Stone. He babbles about how he's going to the base of the Panch Chuli Peaks, and then mentions that one of his bags has a laptop in it, but the Sherpa handling it is unmoved, as he tosses it into the cart without a care. Considering that this part is supposed to happen after the transformation we'll witness in the episode, it might have been more believable for him not to have the laptop at all, but then we would have had to look elsewhere for our Sherpa humor. Eli wrests the laptop bag away from the Sherpa, gives an endearingly big dorky smile, and then tries to mount his donkey ride but pitches himself clean over it. Hee. He gets up and says he's fine, and that he's going to walk for a little while. From the looks on the Sherpas' faces, it doesn't seem like they live off tips. In VO, Eli tells us that he's a lawyer for "Wethersby, Posner, and Klein" in San Francisco, and you wouldn't have heard of his firm "unless you own a huge company that's screwed over a little guy." Eli then asks one of the Sherpas to take his picture in front of the mountains, and gives him instructions on how to work the camera. In his native tongue, the guy says to his counterpart, "Like I've never used a disposable before?" Hee, again. Hey, I like a cheap laugh. And that's going to come in handy. Eli dithers about whether or not to have his shades on in the shot, prompting Sherpa #2 to remark that it's going to be a long week. Eli, in VO, then asks us if he mentioned that he recently found out he might be a prophet. From the needle scratch on the soundtrack, this is apparently supposed to be a surprise. It's the fault of the strike that this is, like, almost the only new scripted show in 2008, but I'll tell you what: I already knew that.
We get a frankly rather boring, but blessedly quick, montage/voice-over about how Eli has been materialistic, ambitious, and shallow, unlike the idealistic kid he was when he was younger. In my personal calculus, VO + Montage = Fast Forward, anyway. Eli hugs Natasha Henstridge as he finishes that he was like that, "and then I heard the music." We see him on a terrace with a beautiful view, making some notes into a tape recorder about a case involving "Beutel Pharmaceuticals," when he hears the opening strains of George Michael's "Faith." After ignoring the music once, when it comes back, he calls for his assistant, a woman who's sassy and speaks frankly to her boss. For the readers who just bought their first television, I'll mention that she's black. Anyway, Eli asks her to do something about the music, but she hasn't heard anything. They then head out to a 2:30 meeting, and as they pedeconference, we get exposition that Sassy Assistant doesn't like "Taylor," who's presumably Natasha and is definitely Eli's fiancée, and whom Eli defends. Sassy Assistant: "You take all the fun out of this job." If George Michael is going to be showing up at the office, I have to disagree.
Meeting. Eli sits on the same side of the conference table with a hotshot asshole, and facing them are a bespectacled dude who's out of his depth and a pretty woman who makes eyes at Eli. Eli gets distracted when he hears the organ music at the beginning of "Faith" again, but still doesn't seem to place it. Come on, dude -- you're supposed to be about my age. You can't tell me that song, that jukebox, and those tight jeans still aren't burned into your memory. The woman snits that the only reason she came there was because she thought Beutel was "interested in finally doing the right thing." You wouldn't think a woman with an autistic child would have a lot of time for fool's errands. Some legal babble ensues, with Eli claiming that a "vaccine court" said her claim was crap, and her countering that a preservative in the vaccine caused the autism, and the court only said she couldn't prove it. Good point -- proof isn't particularly important in legal cases, as the end of the episode will be happy to demonstrate. Asshole Crony says that there's no proven connection between "Mercuritol" and autism, while the woman replies that Beutel is the only vaccine manufacturer that still uses it. Eli eventually ups his side's settlement offer to ninety grand, and, trying to be helpful, reminds her that litigation is about what you can prove. Eli and Asshole Crony leave, and the hapless attorney opines, "Ninety's good." Autism Mother sighs in disgust.
Eli and the ostensible Taylor are Doing It in a typically metrosexually-decorated bedroom when the organ music starts again. Eli falls out of bed in the process of pulling on his boxers, and then the first verse of "Faith" starts, allowing Eli finally to place the song. We learn that Taylor is a lawyer as well, and also that Jonny Lee Miller still has a scorching body. Eli fixates on the living room as the source of the music, so he heads off as Taylor contemplates using a nearby wine bottle to finish the job he started. When Eli enters the living room, he sees a spotlit George Michael, for real, singing "Faith" into a microphone while standing on the coffee table. I'm betting Eli didn't get that thing at Ikea. He stares wide-eyed for a moment, and then falls backwards in a dead faint. And you know what could never, ever lead to anything sordid? A really hot guy dressed only in his boxers passing out in front of George Michael. Title card.
We hear a man whispering, "If you build it, he will come." We then see Eli sliding toward us into an MRI machine and commenting to "Nathan" that that's not funny. Nathan is Eli's older brother and a doctor (...um, both at once? Really?), and later, sitting in his office, he tells Eli that he has conjoined butts in his cranium. "It makes you a double butthead." Too bad Eli already shot his load with the "that's not funny" comment. Nathan tells Eli that aside from the mild concussion he got from whacking his head on a planter in a downward George-Michael-induced arc, he's fine, but Eli demurs: "I can't be fine." Well, when you contemplate tragic diagnoses later in this episode, try to remember that you kind of hexed yourself here. Nathan dismissively says that this is typical Eli, as the moment he gets his life together, he thinks of some way to ruin it. I wouldn't mind George Michael doing a couple live shows in my living room, as long as they were limited to music, and also didn't include "Father Figure." Eli asks what he's supposed to do if George Michael comes back. Nathan: "Get an autograph." That's an improvement over "double butthead," Nathan. Keep it up.
Sitting in his chair at his desk, Eli has his back to the door and buds in his ears, so Sassy Assistant has to yell his name to get his attention. She gives him the number for "Dr. Chin," her acupuncturist in Chinatown, whom she describes as a "miracle worker." Eli thanks her but says he doesn't believe in "that stuff," prompting her to counter that his skepticism is kind of rich given his auditory hallucinations. Good point, Sassy Assistant. And, dare I say, sassily put. She then tells him his two o'clock is there, which confuses him, because he doesn't have anything on his calendar. When he sees that his two o'clock is Autism Mother, though, he leaps into action, demanding that she not say a word, as it would be an ex parte conversation, given that she's represented by counsel already. Autism Mother breezes that she fired that guy that morning, but that slows Eli down not at all, as he tells her to have her new attorney contact him and to hit the road. "Patti could validate your parking." Sassily, no doubt. Autism Mother pays Eli no mind, going on about how her new candidate for attorney graduated valedictorian at Stanford Law, clerked for Ginsburg, and is an eighth-year associate at a "blue-chip firm." Eli: "That's me. You're talking about me." I certainly hope so -- I'd hate to think that exposition was not only clunky but also wasted. He tells her that he can't possibly sue his own client, an assertion she counters by starting to spout some apparently-precedent-setting cases she culled from the web. Eli: "You see, this is why the internet is evil." I'm pretty sure there's quite a bit of precedent for that too. She babbles about the firm setting up a "Chinese wall," but he's...well, "unmoved" is too strong given his hesitant manner and longing looks, but he doesn't change his mind. Also, I'm not clear how the Chinese wall can apply in Eli's case, considering that from what we've seen, he's already been DIRECTLY INVOLVED WITH THE DEFENSE. She tells him she had to try, which...is maybe less odd a comment than it seems given forthcoming revelations, but I gotta tell you, one of my problems with this episode is that Autism Mother isn't a very compelling actress. The passion, the desperation, the bitterness that comes of having been dealt a tough hand and fighting a never-ending uphill battle for years -- that's all either missing or unconvincing, and it's one of the things that make this plotline kind of weak. Anyway, she leaves, and as soon as she's gone, Eli starts hearing "Faith" again, and he goes off to investigate...
...and said investigation takes him down to the lobby, which is currently a dance floor for a whole bunch of people frugging in front of George. This time, rather than fainting, Eli starts dancing and singing along. He'd certainly have done better to reverse the two reactions. Yes, apparently this was all in his head: after a few moments, we see him singing and dancing before a host of puzzled people. He walks off, still half-heartedly singing to himself. Heh.
So, apparently humiliating himself in public is enough for Eli to make some changes to his belief system. Yeah, that sounds about right. Specifically, he's gone to see Dr. Chin, and he's already got several needles in his head as Dr. Chin muses that Eli told him George Michael has great meaning to him. Eli protests that that's not what he said, but Dr. Chin thinks that's at the root of the visions. He says he'll help Eli remember, and taps a needle into Eli's forehead...
...and then we're in a flashback, as a geeky/cute, bespectacled guy of about twenty is making out with a girl on top of him. She stops for a moment to inquire if this is his first time, and whether it is or not, I'm sure he appreciates the timing of the question even more than the content. Upon determining that he is in fact a horny virgin, she gets up in order to forestall any premature ejaculation...er, "because they need some music." She finds -- surprise surprise -- a George Michael album, and gigglingly asks what he's doing with it. Because...he's too butch for George Michael? Okay, we'll go with that. She starts to put it on, but Eli says he can't lose his virginity to George Michael. The girl suggests they just make out, then. Eli: "Or, it could even make the whole experience more memorable." Hee, but...apparently not. Maybe it's a minor point, but with George Michael popping up every few hours all of a sudden, I find it a little hard to believe that Eli needed help retrieving this memory. And given some of the courtroom stuff that's coming up, any problems with my suspension of disbelief are bad signs indeed. Anyway, she puts "Faith" on, and I know music rights are an issue, but I'm starting to feel anvilized here. I mean, "I Want Your Sex" might be a little on-the-nose, but we're taking about a college boy losing his virginity. It's not a time for subtlety. The girl tells Eli that he hasn't bloomed yet, but by the time he's that lawyer "changing the world," he'll be hot. Half right. Anyway, there's smooching...
...and then Autism Mother opens her door to find Eli. Apparently she is the girl from "UCLA, 1991," and was going by "Lizzie" then instead of Autism Mother...er, "Beth." He asks why she didn't tell him, but she makes the valid point that it's not like he remembered her. "Come on, Eli, we were stoned on pot brownies and had a random college hookup." Honey, I was in college in 1991 myself, and pot brownies with actual pot in them don't lead to conversations about blooming and saving the world. They lead to you moving from the couch to the floor in an effort to get as perfectly horizontal as possible. Anyway, their little snit-fest is interrupted by a sound from inside, and they go in to find Beth's son Ben making an ambitious large construction with blocks. He doesn't look up as Beth introduces Eli, and then Eli stammeringly starts to ask if Ben is his. Beth: "Yeah. I was pregnant for eight years." That's a funny line, but is Eli...kind of dim? I'm just not seeing that he's so incredibly bright, and I don't know why it's necessary for him to be, like, the bestest lawyer on the West Coast if it's not going to be believable. Beth kneels to Ben and tries to get him to say hello to Eli, and when that fails, Eli kneels down: "So you like blocks, huh?" I take it all back. The man is a genius. Ben says he actually likes words, and there are over five hundred thousand of them in the English language, not counting names. I know a little bit about autism, and this case is manifesting as really pretty mild. Eli seems to see something affecting as he looks at the blocks, and says he'll ask to take the case. Beth tells Eli she doesn't want him to do it out of pity or sympathy, to which I say: Give me a fucking break, hon. Eli, seemingly non-sequiturishly, quotes Ben's line about words and names to her and leaves, but we see the reason for it when we pan over to the wall of blocks, on which we see the names "George" and "Michael" spelled out. I would have enjoyed this development more if, underneath, we'd seen "Community" and "Service." Not that I'm giving George Michael shit -- that scene he did in the Extras series finale is still making me laugh just thinking about it.
In case we've already forgotten where we are, we get some Dirty Sexy Money-esque reminder shots of San Francisco, and then we're in the firm's boardroom, where Victor Garber (yay!) is acting deliciously deliberately puzzled about Eli's wish to switch sides in the case. Tom Amandes (double yay!) then steps in over Eli's confused babbling to point out that in situations where firms have represented conflicting interests, they've done so on behalf of actual paying clients. I have to mention, though, that both Garber and Amandes seem not to know what a Chinese wall is, which is beyond ludicrous, given that it's Law Firm 101. Maybe they can be forgiven since it doesn't remotely apply in this situation. Eli then hears a bell, and if I were him, I'd take that as my mind's editorial commentary on the wisdom of Tom Amandes's comment. Eli at least shows the good judgment not to tell everyone about the ringing, as they obviously think he's crazy enough already. The jerk lawyer from earlier (since he's a regular, I'll mention that his name's Matt Dowd) pipes up that he's redecorating Eli's office in his head. Gay! Victor Garber (Jordan Wethersby) informs Eli that normally, they offer nuisance money to get "quixotic plaintiffs" to go away. Really? Just out of curiosity, exactly how quixotic does one have to be? Anyway, as gladly as Jordan seems to suffer fools, he asks Eli to get to the point, which is why he should allow Eli to potentially upset big client Beutel for a case that's "a complete and utter loser." Eli argues that the publicity of pro bono work will help the firm in terms of PR and will contribute to the bottom line. So let me get this straight: Big, rich company has never once considered the idea of offsetting its shark image with pro bono work, even though it's basically de rigueur in the legal industry. But now that Eli has put the idea on the table, it's so brilliant that they have to act on it this second with this particular case, despite the fact that they could get a billion other cases in five minutes if they wanted to, and Beutel would be absolutely insane not to fire and probably sue them immediately. I mean, I know Jordan ends up having an ulterior motive here, but no one else knows that and they're still going along, so...do you see why I didn't want to tackle the medicine here?
Sassy Assistant (fine, "Patti," it's shorter) expresses her disbelief that the "Seven Horsemen of the Apocalypse" are letting Eli represent Beth. Eli starts to give Patti some instructions, but stops when he hears the bells again. Patti asks if this time, it's Cyndi Lauper, Billy Joel, "the Go-Gos?" Hee. I'd like to see Eli reenact the water-skiing part of the "Vacation" video. He moves away...
...and down in the lobby, he finds a bell-ringing trolley. He walks over to it uncertainly, and even though someone calls his name from on board, he declines to get on, and it pulls away. He then sees a bunch of people staring at him like they're waiting for him to sing again. Dude, do "Freedom '90" this time -- it's a much better song, and if you're good, supermodels will show up! Probably just to talk hair tips and boys, but that's still a good time.
Eli's back with Dr. Chin, saying that he's pretty sure the voice on the trolley was his dead father. Dr. Chin: "Hmm. Dead parent. Different needle." Hee. Eli blathers that his dad was an "aimless drunk" who ruined everything he ever touched, so he doesn't feel like an otherworldly message from him is likely to be constructive. Dr. Chin thick-accents that Eli should think good thoughts about his father. "Dr. Chin help ungrateful son." Hee, again. He touches Eli's forehead...
...and a geeky, bespectacled twelve-year-old Eli is running for the trolley as from on board, his dad calls to him to hurry. He makes it, and his dad, played by Tom Cavanaugh, Ed's eponymous lead character, tells him he heard about Eli's debate trophy, and he's sorry he couldn't be there. Eli: "'Cause you were drunk again." Eli's dad chooses not to answer that, which is just as well, given his son's trophy-winning crack debate skills. Instead, he pulls out a postcard with a picture of the Panch Chuli Peaks on it, saying he's always wanted to go, and maybe they'll visit them together one day. Wouldn't it have been more effective dramatically not to have given away the Panch Chuli reveal already? I mean, I've recapped an awful lot of pilots, and I know they often have weaknesses other episodes don't. But on the other hand, you have much, much more time to do a pilot than you do any other episode, so you really don't have any excuses as far as the construction of the narrative goes. On top of that, I should mention that while I didn't see it myself, a lot of people on the boards had the chance to see the unaired version of the pilot, and opinion was unanimous that it was far better than what we're seeing here. That's not usually a good sign, and whether that's because of network interference or not, truth be told, of the nine pilots I've covered for TWoP, this is seventh-best, and it's not really that close. Again, I like the show and I think the premise of the man getting back on track towards helping people after temporarily losing his way is quite compelling. On top of that, I like the whimsical mysticism, despite the fact that that's not usually my thing, and on top of that, Jonny Lee Miller is almost magnetic in this role. But still, you put this pilot against that of Veronica Mars, Everwood, Oz, Farscape, Mad Men, or Dirty Sexy Money -- admittedly a high standard to meet -- and it's outclassed. Eli reads the note on the back, which says, "For Eli -- so you'll remember." He asks for clarification, so his dad tells him he should remember that he's meant to do great things and go to beautiful places, and that he's going to help people. Just then, his dad closes his eyes in apparent pain, prompting Eli to ask if he's okay. He reopens his eyes and oversells the idea that he's fine, and then tells Eli that he just remembered he's got to make one more stop, so he should tell his mom he'll be home in a little bit. He unceremoniously hops off the trolley, and Eli sees him heading straight into a corner bar. He is going to Lincoln-Douglas his dad's ass off as soon as he gets home.
We're in court, and Beth is telling everyone how Ben used to be a dream infant, but when she took him in for his two-year checkup, he was given a Beutel vaccine, and within a week, he was a totally different child. Well, the Terrible Twos can sneak up on you. Again, this actress is totally losing me, as she's practically grinning at Eli while talking about the fact that Ben went from smiling all the time to never doing so. She adds that when Ben calls her, which is rare, he addresses her as "Beth." Matt objects here for no legal reason that I can see, but it still prompts the no-nonsense Asian judge to ask "Mr. Stone" to approach. When Matt heads up as well, she asks him, "Are you Mr. Stone?" Nice. When Matt leaves, Eli tells the judge his only chance is for the jurors to identify with his client on an emotional level. I'm spending enough ink on the legal discrepancies here as it is, so I'd like to send a nice box of Godiva chocolates to the no-nonsense judge for literally responding "Not my problem." On the other hand, the thing about Ben calling his mom Beth is medically relevant, so I'm not sure what's up everyone's ass here. Ben's attention is held rapt by a GameBoy or something as Eli asks a question that goes nowhere...
...and then the Beutel CEO is on the stand, speechifying about how he wouldn't be a decent human being if he let his company use an unsafe preservative in its vaccines. Matt asks why he wouldn't get rid of the preservative in the interest of erring on the side of caution, but the CEO says that if he did that, he wouldn't be able to market the vaccine at an affordable cost. Given that we'll learn that Beutel is the only vaccine manufacturer still to use "Mercuritol" (the preservative in question), that argument seems shaky at best; equally shaky, in light of what's to come, is the guy's judgment in bringing up the fact that he's a parent himself, and he knows that "no level of risk is acceptable." He goes on that no one knows what causes autism, and in the absence of an explanation, "Ms. Keller" has chosen to use his company as a scapegoat.
In his office, Beth notes that they're going to lose. Eli: "I'm sorry if by repeatedly telling you we had no chance of winning, I got your hopes up." Heh. Beth, with more incongruous smiling and a tone of voice that she might use to discuss a trolley's tardiness, says that her ex-husband accused her of being obsessed with Ben's illness and said she should have given up the fight. Eli asks if that's why they split up, and she incongruously smiles as she breezes that theirs wasn't a "load-bearing marriage" to begin with, and any further incongruous smiles will heretofore be referred to as ISes to save time and energy. Patti comes in, and after Beth and Ben take their leave, she notes that Beth is cute, and asks if she's available. Apparently we're supposed to think that Taylor is some sort of Dragon Lady, an image which apparently came across in the unaired pilot but falls pretty far short here. Anyway, Patti hands Eli an internal Beutel document that suggests a possible correlation between Mercuritol and autism. She tells Eli that she got it from a paralegal who works for Matt. Not for long, I'm guessing. Anyway, Eli freaks out, saying that the document is protected under the attorney-client privilege, and not only is he not allowed to use it, even merely knowing about it could get him fired and disbarred. Patti: "Don't whisper-yell at me!" Heh. She points out that he's supposed to be the genius, and turns to go while huffing, "Figure something out!"
Cut to that hoary television convention of starting a scene in medias boring storibus; at Eli and Taylor's, Eli's ostensible mother is telling Taylor how a ten-year-old Nathan once tarred and feathered Eli, only he used chocolate syrup. Sounds like a delicious way to get avian flu. The doorbell rings, and Taylor says that that will be her parents. Eli takes a deep breath before opening the door, and Taylor's mom kisses him. Eli then greets Taylor's dad as "Mr. Wethersby...Jordan," as Taylor's dad is in fact Eli's boss. Jordan puts a friendly hand on Eli's shoulder, although that could be some ad-libbing on Victor Garber's part. I certainly wouldn't blame him. Jordan warmly greets Taylor as "Princess" as Eli watches nervously.
Later, Eli's on the terrace looking out at the view when Jordan joins him and tells him he's brave. Eli asks if he means for getting engaged to the boss's daughter. Jordan: "That's not bravery; that's stupidity." Um...thanks? Jordan is in fact talking about the Beutel mess, and Eli makes a comment about "dealing from the bottom of the deck" that reveals his knowledge of the study. Jordan warns him that it's an ethical violation for him even to have seen it, but Eli counters that it's a transgression for Jordan never to have produced it. Jordan steps forward and says he didn't have to, thanks to Eli -- with Eli representing the plaintiff, he got to seal it behind a Chinese wall. That's a total misrepresentation, but the point is supposedly that Jordan letting Eli represent Beth was more Machiavellian than stupid. That's reassuring. Jordan says that's why he'll be in court tomorrow, and then smoothly congratulates Eli on the engagement. "It'll be a pleasure to have you in the family." Heh. Eli smiles, mirthless and defeated. He turns around, observing that it's starting to snow, and then we pan up to the night sky...
...which changes to day, and when we come back down to earth, we're at the Panch Chuli peaks again, as Eli, at least now covering that suit up with a parka, is carrying a Chock Full O' Nuts coffee can in his hands. This may be too much to hope for, but I'm praying, given what we'll learn is in the can, that the brand choice for the can was intentional, because back when I was a kid, there was an advertising jingle that started, "Chock Full O' Nuts is that heavenly coffee!" If it was done on purpose, show people, please email me and tell me about it. I don't ask for much in this life. Anyway, Eli reaches the edge of a precipice and peers over it, and once he does, he hears Taylor and Nathan yelling at him not to jump. When he looks back, he sees the Sherpas, but it's still the voices of his brother and fiancée...
...and when he comes back to himself, he's standing on the edge of his balcony. His eyes go wide, but we cut out before we learn if any below passersby experience any unexpected precipitation.
Eli and Taylor are in Nathan's office, and Nathan soberly tells Eli that the incident the night before was similar to stuff that happened with their dad. Taylor doesn't get the implication, so Nathan tells her that he used to assume that their dad's "episodes" were alcohol-related, but he no longer thinks that, the unstated reason being that Eli's similar incident makes a genetic explanation likely. He goes on that he took Eli's MRI to his neurology chief, who found something -- a brain aneurysm, so small that they wouldn't have seen it unless they were looking for it. He tells Eli that these aneurysms can be hereditary, and can affect the same area of the brain in parent and child. In Eli's case, the afflicted area is the right cerebral artery, and disruption of blood flow there would account for his delusions and hallucinations. The really bad news is that the depth of the placement of the aneurysm means that surgical intervention isn't viable. Eli is stunned, and Nathan struggles to contain his emotions as he says that the aneurysm might never burst, and Eli could live a long, normal life. He tells Eli he's sorry, and leaves him and Taylor to talk, but not before tenderly kissing the top of Eli's head. That's an awfully sweet brotherly gesture, even if kissing the boo-boo to make it better seems a little medically unsophisticated for a doctor. Eli smiles through his tears that they should move the wedding up, but Taylor can't laugh at the moment, and tells Eli she's not sure she can do this -- she could deal with the visions and the odd behavior, but the idea of losing him at any moment might be too much. Eli slowly asks if she's dumping him. "'Cause I was just diagnosed with a brain aneurysm, and that would be really bad timing on your part." Aw. Taylor sadly says she's just trying to process the news, whereupon Eli leaves her, as he's late for court. Her feelings are perfectly understandable, but perhaps she could have managed a "there there, Eli" before suggesting she might be kicking him and his defective brain to the curb. Best scene of the episode, though.
In court, Eli recalls Allan Cook, the Beutel guy, to the stand. He asks Cook what his child's name is, and gets Matt's objection overruled by pointing out that Cook opened the door to this topic himself. Eli wants to know if "Jenna" ever received a flu vaccine, and upon hearing an affirmative, asks if it was manufactured by Beutel. Matt and Jordan tie each other in the race to object, and I'm disappointed that neither of them subsequently calls jinx, but I suppose that would be counterproductive for their case. No-Nonsense Judge: "Hell, no. Now we're getting somewhere." My sentiments exactly. Cook tries to sidestep by saying that the choice was Jenna's pediatrician's decision, but Eli's anticipated this angle and has the pediatrician lined up to testify, so Cook admits that Jenna never received a Beutel vaccine at his own request. Jordan looks deflated...
...but later, he manages a fake-cheery smile as he offers a $360,000 settlement with no admission of liability. Beth, at least according to the words she utters, says that's no good -- she wants Mercuritol taken out of the vaccines, and she wants Beutel to set up a fund for kids they made autistic. Eli, in a semi-panic, asks Jordan and Cook to give them a minute, and the defense team steps out as we see Ben drawing away in a notebook. I'm sorry, I know it's just TV and I should probably shut up and get on with it, but I just cannot believe that we're expected to buy the premise that this bunch of lawyers, who probably learned the term "conflict of interest" before they learned their own names, is representing both sides of this case. Anyway, when they're gone, Eli warns Beth that despite the stunt he just pulled, their chances are slim to none with summations coming up, and if she doesn't take the money, she won't get anything. She tells him that they're going to lose, but not on the merits -- they're going to lose because the jury is going to look in his eyes and see that he doesn't believe. You guys, this may be impolitic to say about the mother of a child with autism who's handicapped in the acting department, but I think I hate her. Even worse, she tells him she feels sorrier for him than she does for herself, which...I don't even know where to start. She didn't want him to take the case out of sympathy, but she's plagued by self-pity? She feels sorry for him for rendering an honest (and surely accurate) legal opinion? Not indulging her pipe dreams makes him pathetic? She tells Ben they're going, and they head for the door, but autistic Ben breaks his routine and looks back at Eli, an anvilicious touch. Apparently when I said the second half won me over, I wasn't thinking of this scene.
Eli is sitting on the stairs outside Dr. Chin's when the man himself appears and chastises him for showing up without an appointment. Eli stops him by telling him about his condition, though, which prompts Chin to shift to a California accent: "Oh, wow, that totally blows, bro." Hee. He offers Eli a beer...
...and then we're on his rooftop, as he's telling Eli that he grew up on a commune and went on to study philosophy at Berkeley. "There's no future in existentialist ethics." I wish you'd been around my school to tell a couple of pretentious Eurofags that bit of news. He goes on that he got into acupuncture, and adopted the fake accent and persona because that's what sells. Since I've been bitching rather a lot, I'll mention that I really like this development -- it's a nice twist to have the mystical aspects of the show tied to a guy who talks like TJ on The Amazing Race. Chin (hey, it may be a fake name, but it's short, and that's how the character's being billed on IMDb) adds that his credentials and abilities are real, before asking about Eli's latest vision. Eli thinks it's pointless to discuss, as it's just his mind playing tricks on him, but Chin points out that the developments of reuniting with Beth and the message in the blocks suggest a more spiritual explanation. Eli asks what that might be, so Chin tells him that almost all religions believe in prophets. Eli doesn't think he could be a prophet because he doesn't believe in God, but Chin disagrees -- Eli believes in right and wrong, justice, fairness, and love. "All those things, they're God, Eli." He points to the sunset and adds that that's God too. I liked that -- nice and simple. Another really good scene. We then hear "I gotta have faith" on the soundtrack before we go to the last break. You don't think that's going to come up again, do you?
After an establishing shot of the courtroom, which is weird this late in the game, Eli tells the jury that it took thirty years after the first lawsuit against a tobacco company for causing lung cancer for an award to be made to a plaintiff. He then says that there's proof that Mercuritol causes autism, but said proof is not "direct or incontrovertible." There's actually a word for that, Eli -- it's called evidence. And since you bring it up, you know what element evidence needs to qualify as proof? INCONTROVERTIBILITY. I mean, look, I know and you know that in a civil suit, he only needs to establish a preponderance of evidence, but given that HE DOESN'T SEEM TO KNOW THAT, this speech is absurd, and it gets more so as he tells the jury they should award his client the case based on faith. It's probably good we don't end up seeing the judge's charge to the jury, because I'd like to know where she'd even start. He does at least reiterate the part about Cook not giving his own daughter a Beutel vaccine, but the idea that he's winning this case based on this speech is just absolute fantasy. I like Eli's character and Jonny Lee Miller is selling this hard, but I don't have the energy to account for the thirty-seven remaining mentions of faith in this speech, so let's just say that he believes in the jury and leave it at that.
Sometime later, Beth finds Eli outside the courtroom and asks how much longer it will be. He tells her that the longer they take, the greater the chance that they'll come back with a fat cash award which she can use to take care of her child with Asperger's...er, "autism." Beth smiles nervously and goes away again, and then Patti appears with Eli's mother in tow. Oh my God, I just realized she was the mother on Jericho. I saw one episode, which was about two too many, and maybe it was the show, but she was...not Emmy material, let's put it that way. Anyway, after telling Eli that she's sorry and giving him a hug, she tells him how she spent all this time blaming Eli's dad for his drinking, when in fact it was his aneurysm that caused his erratic behavior. She then produces the coffee can from Eli's vision, to his surprise, and tells him that it's his dad's ashes. Eli: "You kept Dad in a coffee can?" Hee. His mom tells him she merely transported him in the coffee can, as she didn't want to lug a ten-pound china urn across town, and then adds that in his will, Eli's dad expressed his wish for his ashes to go to Eli, saying that one day, he'd know what to do with them. She didn't fulfill that request at the time because she thought it was just a delusional wish, but now, she's hoping that Eli might have an idea, and Eli, in fact, does. They share a look before Patti calls to Eli that the jury's back, and after his mom hugs him and tells him she loves him, he hands the coffee can to Patti with the directive, "Take my dad back to the office." Heh. She wishes him good luck, and then, as this has never before happened, explains that she never cared if he won before. Eli: "Neither did I!" Just don't overdo your new direction in life, Eli, or you'll have George Michael calling you "a fucking do-gooder" on television. Ask Sting if you don't believe me.
No-Nonsense Judge asks for the verdict, and it's for the plaintiff, in the amount of $5.2 million. Finally, some believable emotion comes through, as Beth cries and hugs Eli. He asks, "You heard that too, right? 'Cause I've been hearing some things." Aw. Nothing like making light of your newfound hallucinations. Now make a joke about your head exploding from the excitement!
In a back room, Matt is blathering about appealing, but Eli shuts that down on the grounds that Beutel can't afford any more negative publicity. Not sure I follow that logic, especially since they'd win an appeal without breathing hard, but fine. Eli says that two million of the judgment needs to go to Beth, with the rest being invested in a fund for autistic children, and Mercuritol has to be removed from Beutel's vaccines immediately. Cook acknowledges this with a diffident shrug, which probably translates to "None of this matters because I'm suing the HELL out of your firm ASAP." Maybe he can get Eli to represent him. Jordan starts to leave, but Beth stands and demands one more thing -- Eli keeps his job. Jordan easily says he's in no danger, but Beth says she wants a written guarantee. Not sure how this is within the court's purview, but I'm no lawyer. Which puts me in good company around here. When it's just the two of them left, Beth hugs Eli...
...and outside, she's telling him she doesn't know how to thank him. But Beth, you're the one who showed him that if you just have faith, you can win cases that have no legal merit! If anything, he should be thanking you! Beth tells him not to be a stranger, and leads Ben away, but Ben turns back and waves at Eli, again, AIEEE! If we were meant to think that there's some kind of magical aspect about Ben just as there is about Eli, I wouldn't mind this, but I don't think that's what's being aimed for here, so it just seems like pandering. Autism is ugly and depressing, not least because moments like this just don't happen, and this little wave and smile directly detracts from the importance of what Eli and Beth just accomplished. Eli then spies Taylor and heads over to her, and she smiles and calls him the man of the hour. Well, at least she doesn't have a daddy complex. Eli isn't quite ready to be normal with her, though, so she tells him that the doctor's office was not exactly her finest moment, but she's sorry and she loves him. He softens and tells her he loves her too, and he wants to be with her...after he gets back from India. She wryly asks if he's free for lunch first, and they kiss. Granted, we haven't seen all that much of her, but if we're supposed to think she's horribly wrong for him, I've missed the memo. Eli VOs a recap of his story, which is pretty well-written, but it's not like I need the competition here...
...and then we see that he's inside a tent talking to the coffee can, as he apologizes to his dad for blaming him for things that weren't his fault. The Sherpas, amusingly bemusedly, observe as he goes on to say he's sorry for not being the person his dad thought he'd be, but he promises to change that. Sherpa #1 wipes his eyes as he tells Sherpa #2 that he has to call his father. Heh. Eli smiles and tells the Sherpas that it's time, and he picks up the coffee can and heads out of the tent. When he gets to the edge of the cliff, he opens the can, and the ashes swirl out into the sky before we fade to...a disclaimer about how the preceding story was fictional. If they'd put that up front, do you think people would have watched?
I realize I was merciless on this episode in spots, but I can already tell that I'm going to be unable to stay mad at the show even when it's naughty, which is the hallmark of any Berlanti offering. See you week!