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To begin with, Samantha Wabash commits suicide as a way to frame Lucas Bundsch, who she believes killed her sister Allie. Holmes sees through the fake suicide immediately, but the police still want to give Lucas Bundsch a polygraph test. And while that's happening, Holmes decides that not only did Bundsch kill Allie, he's probably a serial killer.
Gregson brings in Detective Coventry, the guy who worked the case. He looks suspiciously like Frank Sobotka. And also the sheriff on True Blood, although I officially deny watching that show. My point is that it's Chris Bauer, who's a pretty famous guest star. But he's not the murderer! In fact, the murderer is Lucas Bundsch the whole time, so it's not much of a mystery. Holmes and Watson find a couple of people they think Bundsch probably killed, so they talk to their of kin, and nothing comes of that. But one of them says that someone from their online mourner group knows Bundsch, and that leads to a big wild goose chase where Holmes and Watson think they're trying to save a woman from Bundsch, but really it's Bundsch pretending to be this woman and nothing comes of it.
The underlying plot of the episode is that Holmes's brusque ways are annoying people to the point where it's impeding his investigations. Coventry refuses to work with him and even threatens to file a union grievance against Captain Gregson. And when Holmes confronts Bundsch, he allows himself to be baited into punching Bundsch in the face. So now there's a restraining order against him, which means he can't even investigate the guy he's convinced is a serial killer. When Bundsch strikes again, Holmes wants to plant some DNA in his car and thus frame him for a kidnapping Holmes is pretty sure he committed anyway. But at the last second, he realizes that he's keeping women in a closet in his recording studio so Bundsch is arrested after all. And Gregson tells the police force to quit complaining about Holmes being a jerk.
But why must Holmes be a jerk all the time? Watson calls him out on it, because obviously he's capable of being polite to her most of the time. At the end of the episode, Holmes gives a reasonably passionate defense of his right to basically be a jerk. Watson isn't entirely convinced, but I think he's got a point.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!A woman stands on a bridge at night. She looks like she's going to be jumping over the edge, but she takes a gun out of a bag and then throws the bag over the edge. She then lowers a dumbbell down toward the water. The dumbbell is attached to a wire, which is connected to the trigger of a pistol. She holds the pistol in front of her face, and the weight of the dumbbell pulls the trigger so she gets shot in the forehead and the pistol is pulled into the water below. She has the complicated-murder instincts of someone who's found dead in a locked room in a mystery novel from the 1930s.
Once it's daytime, Holmes and Watson get there and Holmes shouts at the police for moving the traffic cones. Gregson says the dead girl is Samantha Wabash. Before she died, she called 911 and said she was being followed by Lucas Bundsch, who owns a recording studio (irrelevant) and a .38 caliber revolver (more relevant). So they're pretty sure Bundsch is the killer. Samantha believed that Bundsch killed her sister, but he was never convicted. Holmes and Watson investigate Samantha's corpse, and Holmes stands where she was up against the railing. Gregson describes how much she'd been harassing Lucas, and Holmes announces that it's a suicide. His proof is that from the way she fell, she'd been standing two feet from the railing, which would mean the murderer would have to be basically nose-to-nose with her. Holmes also spots the scratches made by the wire, so he declares, "Drag the river beneath this spot, you'll find the weapon." Gregson is skeptical. Then he gets a call and says he's bringing Holmes and Watson to Bundsch's polygraph test.
Lucas Bundsch is hooked up to the polygraph in the interrogation chamber. Holmes and Watson are watching through the one-way mirror, although Holmes says this will be as boring as an evening of Trivial Pursuit. That surprises me, because I would have thought Holmes would enjoy a good game of Trivial Pursuit. It combines two things he likes very much: showing off how much he knows and beating people. Bundsch answers some standard questions, including "Did you murder Samantha Wabash?" and says his place was burglarized recently so his gun was stolen. Holmes seems very interested in his claim to have been mixing a record until 4 am. Someone comes in to say Bundsch is free to go because the gun was found, validating Holmes's suicide theory. Holmes rushes in to ask Bundsch if he killed Allie Wabash. The answer is no. Holmes shakes Lucas's hand.
In the police hallway, Holmes tells Bell and Watson that Lucas Bundsch may well be a serial killer.
At Gregson's office, Holmes tells Gregson that Lucas didn't shoot Samantha, because she clearly framed him. But Samantha was correct (in Holmes's opinion) that he killed Allie, because his mandibular action during the polygraph suggested he was biting his tongue during the control questions. Gregson casts doubt on Holmes's lie-detecting skills, so Holmes adds that Bundsch had antiperspirant on his hands, suggesting he was planning ahead to beat a lie detector. Gregson has them bring in Detective Coventry, the officer who worked the Allie Wabash case, to see what he has to say on the subject.
Coventry is played by Chris Bauer, who you might know as either Frank Sobotka or Andy Bellefleur. Or he was on Third Watch, I guess. He says they looked very carefully at Lucas Bundsch as a suspect for the murder of Allie Wabash because Samantha made them. Six months ago, Bundsch was a part-time mover who Samantha saw near Allie's apartment, so she decided he must have abducted Allie. But Allie left a voice mail the day before showing up in a dumpster a week later. And she was caught on a traffic camera making the call. Holmes suggests Coventry doesn't know what he's doing while administering a polygraph, and Coventry stands up to leave. Holmes chases after him to demand all his "incomplete and foggy" memories of his investigation. Coventry gets angry and leaves. Gregson tells Watson and Holmes they can work the case, but to leave Coventry alone.
At the Brownstone, Watson studies the traffic camera footage while Holmes gets angry at Coventry's files. Watson thinks Holmes was too hard on Coventry because she does not think possibly failing to notice some mandibular action constitutes prima facie evidence of incompetence. And she's noticed something odd in the footage of Annie walking to a pay phone. Surprisingly, it's not the existence of a pay phone in 2013. Instead, she's wearing Uggs. In July. And is she walking like she sprained her ankle? Holmes doesn't think she has a sprained ankle and instead suggests that maybe there's a bomb in her shoe. The dumpster where she was found also held some gray fondant and an alarm clock which he suggests was used to make a fake bomb. There's a knock on the door, and Watson calls Holmes over. Lucas Bundsch is at the door. That's odd! As Lucas says Detective Coventry came to talk to him, Holmes stealthily grabs an icepick or something. He cheerfully asks Lucas in while keeping his stabbing implements hidden.
As they sit in the living room, Holmes talks cheerfully about their abode: "Walls are a bit thin. They'd never hold back our bloodcurdling screams, but we like it." Lucas says that he was at work when Samantha Wabash died, which his cellphone records will back up. Holmes says it must be hard to move a refrigerator with a woman in it. Lucas insists on his innocence being backed up by Allie's call, which came after he allegedly abducted her. Holmes knows about the bomb in the Uggs. He asks if Lucas is there to scare them or if he's just being a good predator. Lucas has no expression as he denies knowing what they're talking about. As he turns to leave, he advises them not to fixate on him, because that ruined Samantha's life, adding, "I really hope you don't make the same mistake."
Gregson's office. Holmes suggests that Coventry told Lucas Bundsch where Holmes and Watson live, and Coventry admits it. He insists that Bundsch isn't a suspect for any murder, so there's no harm in telling him that these consulting detectives are investigating him. Seems unprofessional, if nothing else. Watson says that Lucas killed others. When Coventry investigated the possibility before, he only looked for victims that looked similar to Allie, and he got nowhere. But they believe that the link between Allie and the other victims was geographic. Between 2008 and 2011, two other women disappeared from buildings where Lucas worked as a mover: Denise Todd (held for two months) and Kathy Spalding (never found; presumed dead). Coventry walks out, snarling, "Suit yourself." Watson says she'll work with Bell on Kathy Spalding's family and Holmes gets Denise Todd. Holmes seems a little surprised. I assumed it was because Watson is giving the orders, but it's for a different reason that will be discussed in a future paragraph. Keep an eye out for it!
Watson and Bell interview Tim Spalding, who says he keeps hoping every knock on the door will be Kathy. He doesn't recognize their picture of Lucas Bundsch, who apparently worked as a mover for one of his neighbors. Watson suggests a grief counselor. Tim's already got an online support group because he doesn't want to admit that Kathy's gone. The other victims' bodies were found, but not hers.
Gregson joins Coventry in a bar and tells him he was out of line. Coventry says it's bad for officer morale for a weirdo to be second-guessing their work. Gregson is okay with Holmes because he closes cases fast. He tells Coventry, "Instead of grinding, you sit on that stool and you bitch and you moan." Coventry says half the precinct thinks he must be crazy to allow Holmes to run roughshod over them, and that if he doesn't take Holmes off his case, he's calling the union.
Holmes comes home. The family of Denies Todd has never heard of or seen Lucas Bundsch. He speculates on the possibility of Bundsch having some sort of lair, but they can't watch him now that he's been tipped off. He asks why Watson wanted to work apart (that's why he was surprised at her decision), and also why she resents him attacking Coventry. The answer is that she found a note at the station. It's a crude cartoon of Holmes and Watson peeing on a police badge. She blames Holmes' winding up of Coventry for Lucas coming to their home. The police he constantly scolds are, in fact, their colleagues and by being rude, he causes them actual problems. She asks him, "What does it cost us to tread lightly?" Holmes talks about how Allie's killer was acting out of a dark passion, and how Samantha sacrificed her life to stop him. And he foiled that act, which means he is personally invested in this case. That doesn't really answer her question about why he has to be a jerk to people just because he considers them his intellectual inferiors. Now, back to the case: Watson gets a call from Tim Spalding. He was on his Online Survivors' Group and someone named Cynthia Tilden recognized the name Lucas Bundsch. Her daughter Bonnie disappeared eight years earlier and she was dating Lucas at the time!
Now Holmes is on the phone with Cynthia Tilden as he looks at a picture of her on her website devoted to Bonnie's case. He won't commit to being sure Lucas killed these women, but he sounds pretty sure. Bonnie was a teacher's aide who was going home late. There was a sign of a struggle at her car, and when she was found, the police said she'd been held for eleven or twelve days. Cynthia says, "Now I wonder if he had her up at his parents' home at Oneida Lake." Aha! A possible lair! And the parents are dead. Holmes wants to call the police in Onondaga County, and Cynthia immediately identifies the sheriff as Dale, a family friend. She'll meet them and bring the sheriff.
Holmes and Watson hang out at a gas station. Cynthia is late, which seems unlikely since you'd think this would be a priority for her. Holmes calls her and gets this answer: "Tilden residence. Lucas Bundsch speaking." Heavens. He gives Holmes ten minutes to get over there. They call 911 and the Onondaga County Sheriff's Office.
They get to Cynthia's house and Holmes rushes past the Sheriff. Cynthia's fine, but she's not the person they talked to and she doesn't have any kids. She'd like to know what this is all about. Holmes realizes, "We've been duped."
Lucas comes back to his recording studio, where the window between the control room and studio is broken. Holmes is there, but he denies breaking the window. We never learn anything more about the broken window, so it seems like an entire subplot got removed except for this one exchange. He asks if Bundsch denies calling him and pretending to be Cynthia Tilden. He does. Holmes decides he's not just a serial killer; he's a Catfish. He creates identities to track his victims' loved ones so he can keep the game going after the death. Please don't let the word "Catfish" get any more traction than it already has. Lucas denies knowing what he's talking about. Holmes recaps the episode so far and suggests that Lucas used the sound equipment to disguise his voice. A blonde named Amy asks if everything's okay, and Lucas tells her to turn off the intercom. Holmes says he's angry and asks what identity he created to monitor Samantha. Lucas says her death was tragic, although maybe it was a blessing in disguise: "What if the truth was much, much worse?" Holmes punches him and leaves.
Gregson's office. Lucas's lawyer isn't pressing charges, but there's a restraining order coming against Holmes and Watson going anywhere near him. Holmes admits that's a good idea. Gregson objects to Holmes talking about the investigation and case as though it were his alone. Holmes admits that attacking Bundsch was an impulse rather than the coldly analytical action he likes to pretend he engages in all the time. Gregson sums up: "He was baiting you, and you fell for it." So all the evidence he's found so far is unusable. This is fine, because I don't think he's found all that much. Holmes says, "What I owe you beyond an apology is an airtight case against Lucas Bundsch." That's not what interests Gregson: "You are off the case. That is final."
Brownstone. Holmes sits by the fire with his hand in ice water. Watson checks his knuckles and says he broke his finger. Holmes asks, "Did I?" He doesn't seem that interested. Holmes admits that punching Bundsch was a miscalculation, but he mocks the idea of showing Bundsch courtesy, because he sees the problem as being just that he endangered the investigation. His phone bleeps with a text: "14-28 Humboldt. No rush .The police are already there." It's from the number that framed them. Bundsch is really going out of his way to help Holmes and Watson catch him!
When they arrive at the scene, Bell's already there. Jenna Lombard has been snatched. Holmes shows Bell the text that sent them there. But if this is a Bundsch case, they can't be here. Holmes eyes a purse and suddenly accepts the ruling. He leads Watson out because he got Jenna's hairbrush. He's decided that Samantha had the right idea; he's going to frame Bundsch.
They get back to the brownstone and Holmes says "we" are not doing anything because he's fixing this himself. Independent investigation is no good. When Watson tries to explain how bad an idea this is, he demonstrates that he's great at picking pockets. Tomorrow morning, an anonymous tip will say someone saw Bundsch pushing Jenna into his car and the police will find her hair on the seat. Once he's in jail, the threat of the death penalty will no doubt induce him to reveal the place he's hiding Jenna. Desperate to slow Holmes down, Watson says she'll need food before then. Holmes accepts that Bundsch must be tending to his victims because he keeps them for a long time. And then he suddenly realizes where he must be keeping them.
Gregson and Holmes go into the recording studio. Bundsch complains that Holmes isn't supposed to be within a hundred feet of him. But restraining orders break down when you get arrested, I guess? Holmes has a blueprint of the building they're standing in. When Bundsch had it remodeled into a studio, it lost some square footage. This storage closet over here should be ten feet deeper. Holmes looks nervous as the SWAT team takes a wall down. There's a locked door behind it, and Lucas does not offer a key. Holmes goes in to pick the lock and suggests getting Bundsch out of the room for the sake of the victims, who will probably not want to see their captor right away. He opens the door and a piteous voice asks for help. She comes out and Holmes takes her. She says, "Please, help her. She's been in here longer than me." He gave her something that made her sleepy. Holmes squints in to the darkness.
Out on the sidewalk, Gregson says the photographer needs to record everything. Tim Spalding comes up, and Gregson walks him along the street. Kathy's in shock and trying to come off the sleeping pills, but she's alive and she's been asking for him. She's on a stretcher and they hug and cry. Gregson watches for a moment.
Police station. Gregson announces that some people think their consultants get too much sway. But the mission of the police is to protect the city and citizens. He emphasizes that "most" of them do their department proud. But if anyone objects to the way he uses his tools, whether that's Holmes and Watson or the coffee machine, "There's the door." Coventry seethes in the background.
Holmes touches up a dollhouse murder. Watson walks up and he says, "I've given further consideration to your rebuke considering my capacity for niceness." He's decided she had a point. There's certainly some advantage to being polite. However: "I am not a nice man. It's important that you understand that. It's going to save you a great deal of time and effort. There is not a warmer, kinder me waiting to be coaxed out into the light. I am acerbic. I can be cruel. It's who I am. Right to the bottom. I'm neither proud of this nor ashamed if it. It simply is. And in my work, my nature has been an advantage far more than a hindrance. I'm not gonna change." That's the best defense of someone's right to be a jerk I've ever seen. Watson says he's changed already. Holmes admits that he's nice to her, mostly, but that's because he considers her exceptional so he makes an exceptional effort for her. But there will be fallout from his failures.
Watson says, "No one can accept something like that forever." Holmes says, "To thine own self, Watson." Then he walks away. So we won't be having a charming, huggable Sherlock Holmes any time soon. Good!
Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.