In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Watson spends most of this episode trying to get Holmes a sponsor so she can leave him in a few weeks. This is an interesting plot not because there's any chance that Watson will leave but because it will be fun to see what the show will do to keep her around. Holmes rejects her first recommendation because he's a boring guy who spouts platitudes. So he goes with a car thief who seems like he could actually be a pretty good fit. He's got patience, which will come in handy.
The mystery of the week involves a bomb. It blows up in an air vent, killing two people at one of those cool web design firms where people ride skateboards indoors and carry around Nerf basketballs. The bomb was triggered by a pager that was called by a guy with a history of arson. But he was just trying to call his local deli, which has a phone number one digit off.
So Holmes investigates further and establishes that the bomb was actually four years old, so it was probably meant for the occupants of the space. This turns out to be a company full of spin doctors (the political kind, not the jam-band kind) led by Lisa Edelstein. So she left House so she could deal with a more direct version of Sherlock Holmes? The first suspect is a bomb-maker for an extreme environmental group, but this turns out to be the only bomb he didn't make. The second suspect is a guy who got into a fight four years earlier and vanished, but he turns up entombed in a wall in his house.
However, he leads them to a safety deposit box that contains a taped-over VHS copy of Cheech and Chong's Movie. And instead of containing hilarious marijuana-based jokes, it has an old recording of Young Lisa Edelstein being a prostitute. So it turns out that she built her company on money that she got from hooking, and then she was blackmailed much later. And her pipe bomb didn't work so she shot her blackmailer instead. The end!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Holmes watches all his televisions at once. He's got one of those Serial Experiments: Lain setups where there are six televisions positioned randomly in front of him. He explains to Watson that the mind is a muscle and must be exercised to keep from becoming flabby, etc. He's also reading a book, just to prove he's not addicted to television. When Watson complains, he's willing to turn off one television. Watson suddenly wants him to select a sponsor, because she's not going to be his sober companion forever. He says something about how great drugs made him feel, but he's just quoting the bit that's about to happen on The Invisible Man. It's not clear whether he's just seen the movie before or if he's deduced the line of dialogue. The point is, he does not want to go meet a potential sponsor, even for coffee.
Now the scene shifts to some horrible web design lab where people ride skateboards and shoot Nerf hoops in the office. I should admit at this point that I work on the Internet and my cubicle has several Nerf guns in it. But these guys are doing it on purpose. And they explicitly mock old people, just in case everyone doesn't hate them already. There's a beeping which turns out to be coming from inside a vent. They think it's a phone, which is silly. Phones don't beep like that.
A zooming camera shows that inside the vent, there's a phone number on a device attached to a bomb. It explodes! Probably should have turned off the ringer, huh? Seems weird that you'd want your bomb to beep before exploding.
Later, the whole team is at the scene. Gregson says the bomb exploded at 9:15 AM that morning. Boy, those slackers were hard at work already! Bell's looking into "whether anybody had beef with the firm." Holmes and Watson look at the wreckage, which is all over the place. There's a World's Greatest Dad mug that's undoubtedly ironic. Holmes says Watson won't miss all this when she's gone in a few weeks to be with her new client. She says she doesn't have a client, but she won't miss the crime scenes.
Among the debris, Holmes finds some packing paper that shows that it wasn't weapons-grade explosives. Because your real professionals don't use wadded up newspaper, which makes sense. Gregson says the bomb squad said the same thing and are looking into recent burglaries of stores that sell bomb supplies. I like that the bomb squad has been here and learned some of the same things that Holmes is revealing, because it's easy to go too far in the other direction. Holmes doesn't have to be the only person who can do detecting. Holmes finds a circuit board from a pager, which he thinks could be the bomb's detonator. He knows it's from a pager because it doesn't have a transmitter. It's in really good shape for something that was less than an inch from the explosion. It'll be two-three hours for the police to track it down, so Watson drags Holmes off to a meeting. This is a really good excuse to switch gears to the other plot!
Holmes and Watson are at a diner so Watson can introduce this guy she knows. He's from the London School of Economics and works for the SEC, so Holmes's anti-banker stance should be a problem. When he arrives, we learn that his name is Adrian and Holmes won't shake his hand. As soon as Adrian sits down, Holmes fires a hypothetical at him about what if he calls him in the middle of the night? What if he's poisoned and needs to take a particular drug? Adrian says he should take it to save his life. Holmes leaves. Outside, he tells Watson that the guy was just spouting platitudes. And he recommended drugs! Oh my stars! Watson mostly brushes off these objections and vows that they'll find him a sponsor. Holmes looks unconvinced, in my opinion.
Gregson calls because he senses that the subplot's scene is over and it's time to return to the mystery. The police have learned that the pager was prepaid, but luckily, they have the number. The same phone called the pager three times just before the explosion. And the phone that called belongs to a man who just got out of jail for arson.
Okay, really quick. That's not how pager work. You don't call the pager. When you want to page someone, you call the pager service. Then you enter your phone number and the pager company radios the pager, which displays your number. There's a phone number associated with the pager, but it's not "the pager's phone number." If the pager had a phone number, it would be a phone. So this whole thing is kind of a mess, but we'll have to try to ignore it.
Sorry. Back to the show! We're in the interrogation room, where Bell is talking to the arsonist. The guy admits that he called a number three times, but he says he was calling Miracle Deli, which was one number off. Holmes checks, and Miracle Deli does have that phone number. Gregson agrees that the coincidence bugs him, but not enough to cut the guy loose. Gregson leaves for the bomb squad's briefing. Holmes tells Watson says that the guy's watch is nine minutes slow and his fly is down, so he isn't precise enough to be a bomb maker. Watson points out that Ted Kaczynski looked like a hobo, which Holmes appears to accept as a valid objection.
Holmes barges into the bomb squad's briefing of Gregson. He gives a lecture about the bomb's batteries, which turn out to be more than four years old. And he opens the baggie where they're saving the packing paper to show that there's a picture of Barack Obama from when he was Senator Obama. Watson spots a date at the top of one of the newspaper pages. It's from 2008! Holmes suggests that the bomb was prepared in 2008.
If I could just jump back to the pager thing again? Thanks. I realize they said the pager was "prepaid," but I don't think that means the pager company just reserves the phone number forever. Also, since this is a nitpicking paragraph, it seems weird that the bomb squad would meticulously collect all the newspaper and save it in a baggie but never look at it to see if there are any clues about where it came from.
Right. Holmes and Watson are in the lobby of a business called "Van Owen." Holmes exposits that they were founded in 1994 by Heather Van Owen. Van Owen solves corporate image problems. They're spin doctors, which makes sense for a company founded in 1994. And in 2008, they were the tenants of the building that blew up, so Holmes figures they might have been the intended targets.
Heather Van Owen and Earl Wheeler (the CFO) come out to meet them. I should mention that Heather is played by Lisa Edelstein, who has some experience with stubbly British actors playing abrasive know-it-alls. Holmes gets right to the point with them. He explains that in 2008, the pager company didn't have any towers near the building. But in 2010, they built one. At this point, we're going to have to just pretend that "pager towers" are a thing (they kind of are, but they're just giant radio transmitters and Manhattan has had full coverage for decades), and that pager companies were expanding their coverage in 2010. Heather suggests that the only people who might have wanted to murder them are the Earth Liberty Militia because Van Owen works with "major energy conglomerates." Watson mentions 200 million gallons of oil, which is apparently a spill that Van Owen had to try to spin. Heather leads them off to show them the threats they used to get. On the way, Holmes tells Heather the answers to the crosswords on her computer screen.
Back to the subplot! Holmes and Watson are in the back row of an AA meeting. Except it's probably not AA because it's for drugs. And it's probably not NA either because it's going to be some generic alternative. It's "a meeting," but that's too vague to just say. Holmes is analyzing the ELM manifestos. See how they're not "ELF" manifestos? So it's probably like that for Narcotics Anonymous; if they need a name for these meetings, they'll swap out a letter or something. Holmes thinks all the manifestos are by one man. He doesn't like the look of any of the potential sponsors in the room. Watson reminds him, "You have 23 days. Then our time is up." A man named Alfredo steps up and tells stories about stealing cars and starting drugs. Holmes selects him as his new sponsor, startling Watson.
Brownstone. Holmes is fixated on the phrase "on your beam ends," which shows up seven times in the manifestos. He says it's an obscure nautical phrase. Watson doesn't care and wants to know why he picked Alfredo so quickly. Holmes points out that he has excellent observational skills, so he can come to conclusions quickly. Well, sure. And now Holmes knows where he was when he heard the phrase "on your beam ends." He runs to the television room, explaining that the phrase came from the upper right television. He goes over what was on the other televisions and comes up with "Talk show! The topic was international whaling laws." Then they go to the Internet and there's a video of Edgar Knowles, New York City. He does use the phrase.
And now he's in the hot seat! Edgar Knowles asks Bell if he's really being accused of being an eco-terrorist. Bell says their consultant says he is. Holmes comes in with an elevator button that Knowles pushed. The department has a "latent print unit" and they matched the print with one from a lumber mill in Utica. Feeling himself correct, he turns to leave. Knowles admits the lumber mill bombs and a few other ELM bolmbings and he admits writing the letters. But he denies following up on the Van Owen letters. He only threatened them!
The rooftop of the Brownstone. Holmes is blowing up tennis balls and sniffing the air. Watson finds this behavior troubling. He says that the component containing the fuel of a bomb is often atomized. You'd think so, but every other part of this bomb came out in remarkably good shape. So Holmes wants to replicate the odor of the bombing. Sure! They've established he has a good nose. I have no problem with this. Holmes says that in his admitted bombings, Knowles used nitrate-based bombs because he wouldn't use unnatural components. "Nitrate" is code for "fertilizer" here, and apparently fertilizer bombs leave the area smelling horrible. I believe that. And the bomb they're studying was from potassium chlorate (gasoline, bleach and petroleum jelly) according to the smell that Holmes has created. So Knowles is in the clear. Holmes keeps blowing up balls, probably because it's fun. You're up on the roof and you've got a bucket full of exploding tennis balls; it's not like you're going to stop blowing them up just because you've got your results.
In the evidence locker, Holmes pieces the newspaper together so he can see the whole page. Gregson comes in to yell at him for changing his mind about Knowles. But Holmes has more evidence in the newspaper. It's the October 13 edition, and he found that the page was below another page that someone wrote "NOVOCAINE" on. And it wasn't Knowles's handwriting. Gregson dismisses this, which is stupid. I mean, it's pretty stupid evidence because there's no reason Knowles couldn't have used a newspaper that someone else wrote on. But dismissing Sherlock Holmes is a pretty bad idea in any adaptation, and Gregson should know by now that he's always right. Holmes wants a subpoena for the Van Owen employee files, since they're the only one that knew about the threats. The idea is that someone knew about the threats, so they rigged a bomb knowing that ELM would be blamed. Gregson will not authorie a subpoena, which means Holmes will have to go straight to Van Owen and ask nicely.
Watson and Alfredo sit at a booth. Watson likes his knuckle tattoos. Alfredo doesn't speak much, but he's very expressive. Holmes texts to tell Watson that he needs to reschedule. Alfredo is unruffled and says that they need to be patient because newcomers like Holmes are often tentative. He's never been a sponsor, but he's wanted to be one for a while. He ends with, "I can help your friend, Miss Watson. He just needs to give me the chance." I like him. He seems sensible.
Holmes is, in fact, working on the Van Owen personnel files. So his text wasn't a lie, which is nice. Heather sashays in and asks if he's doing okay. Then she asks if he's a fellow addict... of crosswords. She used to have her addiction under control when there was one per day in the newspapers.
I would like to break into the middle of her sentence to report that this is the moment when I realized that she did it. She read newspapers! And a crossword addict is the sort of person that would write the word "NOVOCAINE" with no context. So there you go. I was kind of hoping there'd be a red herring about dentists as everyone tried to figure out the Novocaine reference, but it doesn't come off.
Back to Heather. She says that now that crosswords are online, it's a miracle she gets any work done at all. Holmes asks if she's trying to get sex with all this crossword talk. Because if she is the feeling is mutual, and he compliments the musculature of her legs. But he's busy right now. Heather is thrown off her game, so she leaves as Watson comes in.
Watson is unruffled by the rescheduling of the sponsor audition, which seems to disconcert Holmes. Holmes takes her to see Heather and Earl so he can reveal his findings. He announces that an employee named Pradeep Singh was associate creative director who got written up in 2008. Earl says Pradeep was terminated but Heather says he vanished mysteriously: "It was in all the papers at the time." See? She's obsessed with newspapers! Earl says he had an argument with Pradeep because Pradeep wasn't happy. He became arrogant and said he wanted more power and control. But he wanted his fourth raise in eighteen months, and he told Earl he'd be sorry.
Holmes and Watson are out at the Singh house, where his wife says he died in 2008. But Holmes says he was never found. Mrs. Singh held out hope, but finally accepted his death. She thinks he would have been found if he just collapsed. So it must have been murder! Suddenly Holmes spots some pictures on the mantel and asks if there's been any work done on the room. No, not even for that mold he can smell. He gets everyone out of the room on a flimsy excuse and claims to have had a dodgy egg. Once he's alone, he moves a shelving unit and studies the baseboard. There's mold. Then he removes some pictures from the wall. He listens to the wall and rubs the paint. Then he picks up a piece of metal and looks around.
When Holmes joins them outside, he pulls Watson aside to tell her that Mr. Singh is dead. There was a picture on the mantel that showed the wall, but the actual wall had the pictures a few inches different. This show relies a lot on people having pictures that show the room the picture is in. Anyway, the pictures had been moved, but there were no old nail holes in the wall. And the wall was convex, due to the gasses from decomposing body. Four years ago, the murderer must have killed him, torn down the wall, wrapped the body in plastic, and hung new drywall. He's "fairly sure." Because he checked by breaking a hole in the wall. I like that he checked!
Gregson reports that Mrs. Singh was in Mumbai when Pradeep disappeared. Could she have had a co-conspirator? Holmes thinks that's possible. But look at Pradeep's desk on the old website! It's right by the vent where the bomb was hidden, so he probably didn't do it. In fact, the bomb was probably meant for him.
Bell comes in to report that Pradeep Singh was killed by a gunshot wound to the chest. And there was a strange key on him that Holmes says goes to a safety deposit box. It says "SLB 699," which Gregson identifies as Sequoia Liberty Bank. In the safety deposit box, they find a VHS copy of Cheech & Chong's Movie. Bell says it's not a good movie, and I have to disagree. Although I haven't watched it at all recently. Holmes explains that the piece of tape over the notch means that it's been taped over. They had to put that in for the youths in the audience.
So now they have to find a VCR. Luckily, Holmes has several VCRs because he likes to watch 1970s police interrogations! So Bell, Holmes and Watson whisk off to the Brownstone. Bell gets a call from a CI, taking him out of the way for a brief intrusion by the subplot. Watson tells Holmes that Alfredo will meet him at 9:00. Now he doesn't like Alfredo because he wants to do better. Watson asks, "Is this about us?" She thinks he's being difficult because he doesn't want her to leave. Good work, Watson. She realizes that he only liked Alfredo when he thought she wouldn't like him. So now that she's on board, he's out.
Bell is back. The VCR is connected to all six televisions. They see a younger Pradeep set up a secret camera before a high-end prostitute comes in. It's Heather Van Owen! Who I will remind you is Lisa Edelstein!
At the police station, Heather fills out a consent form so the police can talk to her. They show her the tape of her as a young prostitute and Holmes says she came from humble origins (her father was in construction), so she must have needed money to start her business. She would like the tape turned off. Holmes says she built a new life for himself on the ashes of the old one. But Pradeep realized his new boss was one of the prostitutes he'd recorded years earlier, so he was able to demand several raises and promotions. Holmes says the laws against prostitution are "rather Victorian" (which is funny, since Sherlock Holmes himself is rather Victorian), but that doesn't matter. So the point is that he accuses her of building a pipe bomb to kill Pradeep, which didn't work. So she shot him instead. And her father probably taught her to hang drywall, which helped her with her absurd plan to hide the body in the same building where she committed the murder. Holmes adds that it's no wonder she moved the company, since she knew there was an unexploded pipe bomb in the building.
Heather mocks the evidence, which is pretty circumstantial. Holmes connects the dots from that "NOVOCAINE" to the New York Times crossword. And they've matched her handwriting on the consent form. She's under arrest!
So... she built a pipe bomb attached to a pager that didn't work in Manhattan? And after it didn't blow up, she figured she'd just go shoot the guy and wall him up in his own house? She should have at least searched him to get the key for the safety deposit box that hid his blackmail tape. And maybe she should have gone in to get the bomb at some point. This is just sloppy work.
Brownstone. Alfredo rings the bell. He is here to ignore Holmes's message telling him not to come. And to show him this awesome car he has. See, he graduated from "stealing cars" to "being hired to test security systems." Would Holmes like to show off how good he is at defeating security systems? He claims he would not, since he knows he could do it. But Alfredo knows what buttons to push: "This stuff's not even on the market yet. So how would you know if you could beat it?" Holmes can see through all these tactics. Watson says that one way or another, she'll be out of his life in a few weeks. And she wants him to be ready when the time comes. Holmes claims to be entirely self-sufficient.
Holmes goes down (without lockpicking tools) to ask about the car, like what kind of security systems he'll be facing. Alfredo will not give any information about what security systems are there. Holmes again says, "I'm entirely self-sufficient, you know." And then he prepares to break into the car.
Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.